I Hold With Those Who Favor Fire
by Joy12908
Summary: Bella returns back home to Forks, after spending the last two years in Jacksonville with her mother, Renee. She returns in hopes to find who she is and fill the piece of her soul that's been missing. Upon her arrival, she discovers that some things have changed while others will always remain the same. RATED M FOR STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT AND LANGUAGE. J&B/ Set after BD.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters from the Twilight Saga Series. Stephanie Meyers is the proud owner of them all.

**A/N: This Story takes place two years post BD wedding** **when Bella returns to her hometown of Forks.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

I glanced at the road ahead to see the all too familiar welcoming sign that read: "You are now entering Forks."

I sighed heavily, taking a drink from my now cold coffee, and turning the radio up as loud as I could stand it. This was how I chose to drown out my thoughts, and overwhelming anxieties about returning home.

It had been two long years since I had graced my fathers front door. Two years since I had driven these roads. Two years since I had run out on my own wedding and landed on my mothers door step in Jacksonville, Florida. It was never something I had planned to do. Never something I thought I would ever do.

To this day, I still felt an immense amount of guilt for my selfish actions. Guilt that troubled me to the point of needing actual therapy to somewhat recover from.

Edward had never seen it coming. No one had.

There I was, standing in front of him with all our friends and family watching and waiting for me to say "I Do". Everyone waiting for me to be Mrs. Cullen, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready to be married at eighteen. I wanted to do more and see more, have a chance to discover who I was before sealing my fate so drastically to him.

Call me selfish... I did...

Call me crazy... yea... I've been called that, too. But in the end, it was my life and my choosing.

As hard as it was for me to break things off with Edward, I did it. As hard as it was for me to see the disappointed looks on the Cullen's faces, I went through with it.

I had to leave right away. Immediately after. I feared if I didn't that I would slip back into my zombie state. A desperate darkness I swore I would never go back to again. The absence of Edward was hard for me to deal with at first, but I knew I had to face it. I wouldn't do that to Charlie again, I just couldn't. It wasn't fair.

I made a choice to leave everything behind and start new in Florida with my mother and Phil.

Leaving Charlie was the hardest part for me. But I made him a promise that we would speak each day until I returned to him and I was good to keep my word. Despite the many miles of distance between us, our relationship remained in tact and felt stronger than ever to me.

A horn suddenly honked loudly from behind me and I hit the gas. I was no longer driving the old truck from before. Once I got settled into life with mom and Phil again, they bought me a new truck. A brand new black Chevy Colorado.

To say I was shocked to come home one afternoon, after a long day of classes that I attended at JU, to see it sitting there with a big red bow on it, was a vast understatement.

At first, I tried to convince her to please take it back. While I was exceedingly grateful, I also knew just how damn much a new truck like that could cost a person. But they would hear nothing of the sort and insisted I keep it as a gift. So I graciously did and thanked her a million times over for it.

I rounded the bend, seeing the old familiar street where Charlie lived now coming into plain view. I slowed down a bit, creeping along the road before signaling my turn. The familiar short stretch of road had not changed at all in my two year absence. Odd as it may sound, this came as a comfort to me, as I slowly pulled into my old driveway.

I stared at the house now in front of me again. The familiar but slightly faded shudders, and the green steps that led up to the front door were still in place. The shrubs around the front, still there. Nothing had really changed. Nothing seeming out of it's place.

I glanced down at my watch, noticing it was just about time for Charlie to get home from his shift. He had known I was coming back home for a while. The exact amount of time though, I wasn't so sure of myself.

I got out of my truck and grabbed my luggage, quickly running up the steps when I felt the drizzle begin to start. I had missed a lot of things about this town, however the constant cold and rain was certainly not one of them.

My arms were full, kneeling in front of the door to remove the spare house key from under the welcome mat. Charlie always kept it there. That hadn't changed either.

I unlocked the door and dropped my heavy luggage to the floor, my arms growing tired from the weight of them all. I slowly heard the door squeak, as I shut it behind me and looked around at my old home.

I saw that things were in the same place as they were before and was taken back by how clean it was. Charlie had never been one to clean religiously. Though it certainly appeared he was that way now.

I moved my bags away from the door and threw my shoes off before venturing into the kitchen for a bottle of water from the fridge. I stopped short when I saw the now dozens of photos that covered the fridge door. All of them new. Ones of Renee and I that we had sent him last year. Ones of Sue Clearwater and Charlie. They were all nice photos. But the one that made my breath hitch was the new picture of my father and Jacob together.

I slowly reached up and took the photo in my hand. Seeing how he had changed in the last few years.

He looked bigger, if that was even possible, but not a day older. His face still as young and as handsome as it ever was. His dark blue dress shirt accentuating his muscular physique. In his hand was what looked like a diploma. One that he held up with a proud smile on his face. My father with his hand on his shoulder and a matching grin.

A small smile formed on my lips as I thought of him graduating. I was proud of him. I always would be.

I felt the familiar longing return for my former best friend as I stared down at this photo.

I hadn't seen or spoken to Jacob once in the two years I had been gone. He did call me soon after I left. I was waiting to board my plane to Jacksonville when I heard his call come through on my cell. I didn't have it in me then to answer it. It was a cowardly way to handle it. I regretted a lot about that, too.

Jacob had even called Renee about a dozen times or more in the weeks following my arrival there with them. I never had the heart to take his call on my cell or hers. So I let it be and time eventually crept by.

Weeks turned into months and months into years. Now here I was and seeing this picture made me miss him in ways I could not explain.

The front door flew open, startling me. I quickly put the photo back and rushed out, expecting to be greeted by Charlie. Only he wasn't the one there waiting for me.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable characters/content are the sole property of Stephanie Meyer._

**CHAPTER TWO**

My breath caught in my throat as I rounded the corner and my heart began to beat wildly within my chest. I soon came to an abrupt stop, disbelieving of who was right in front of me.

Jacob Black stood in my entry way.

He was soaked from the now pouring rain outside. His white T- shirt clung to him. His hair still cut short, jet black in color and dripping wet.

I couldn't speak as his beautiful brown eyes met mine. My own eyes soon wandering shamelessly over his body, seeing every muscle through his soaked shirt.

He was just as beautiful... just as perfect as he ever was. Built like a greek god.

My eyes stung with the threat of new tears as I ran to him. Not stopping to think twice about it. I threw myself into his strong arms and was over joyed to feel him return my embrace, lifting me off my feet and holding me tightly to him.

"Jacob..." I gasped.

"Bells..." He breathed into my hair.

His grip on me was almost crushing but I didn't fight it, I welcomed it. Relishing in the warmth and safety of his arms. The strong arms that I had missed so much.

"I missed you so much." I confessed to him, feeling his warm hand run across the sliver of skin revealed on my lower back, causing a small shudder to hit me.

"I missed you more..."

I pulled back slightly, looking at his handsome face and seeing how the features of the young man I had left behind two years ago had changed. I couldn't stop myself from running my fingertips along his strong jawline and across his dimpled chin. My eyes wandering to his full luscious lips.

I felt him slowly set me back on my feet, keeping his arms around me still. His eyes meeting mine and boring holes into my very soul, as his hand reached up and moved a stray lock of hair away from my face.

"You're still breathtaking..." He said softly to me. Sincerity clear in his tone.

"You're still... sort of beautiful..." I smiled to him.

He chuckled that warm and hearty laugh that I loved so much and released me with a wink.

"You remember..."

"I remember everything, Jake." I replied to him.

His smile soon faded, running his hand through his soaked hair. I swallowed hard, and knew what question was lingering on the tip of his tongue.

"Bells... Why did you leave like that?"

I glanced up to meet his penetrating stare and felt myself quickly scrambling to find an acceptable answer. Truth was, I really didn't have one.

"I should have called you back, Jake. I'm sorry... There's no excuse for the way I left things with you. I just... didn't have the heart to tell you..."

"I wish you would have. I mean... you just left Bells..."

I stepped closer to him, placing my hands on his rugged arms and staring up into the eyes of the person who knew me best... still.

"I'm sorry Jacob... for more than you know... I'm sorry."

He nodded in understanding before sweeping me back up in a big bear hug.

"All that matters is you're home now..." He sighed, kissing me lightly on the cheek and releasing me.

I smiled back at him and felt a wave of relief wash over me that he held no ill will towards me, despite the way I handled things in the past.

I gingerly touched my fingertips to his soaked white T-shirt, seeing the muscles there. I felt a blush settle into my cheeks as Jacobs hand took mine, a comfortable silence settling between us. It was short lived...

The front door suddenly opened and in walked Charlie with a wide welcoming smile on his face for me.

"Dad!" I beamed, running into his open arms. "I missed you."

He hugged me back and kissed my forehead. "You're a sight for sore eyes, honey. Welcome home!"

He looked to Jake as he released me and extended his hand to him. Jake shook it firmly with a wide smile for him.

"Hey Charlie." He chuckled.

"I guess I should have known you'd come here first Jake." He chuckled in reply. "Billy told me as much so this morning."

Jake shook his head. "I'm sure he did."

"Well let me get changed and I'll take you out to the diner for a welcome back supper?" Charlie offered. "Jake, you're more than welcome to come along and join us."

I couldn't hide my smile, looking over to Jacob with anticipation. He smiled back at me.

"Yea... sure thing just let me run home to change and I'll meet you guys over there?" He replied to Charlie.

"Sounds like a plan to me." I shrugged and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Oh wait... can you bring your dad? I would love to see him."

"Sure, Sure" He replied. "He's pretty eager to see you too, honey."

I found myself having a hard time just keeping his stare for too long. I had forgotten just how beautiful he was in person. Pictures certainly didn't do him justice.

"Well... if it's not too much trouble..." I teased.

"For you... nothing is ever too much trouble, honey... I'll see you soon." He said, leaning down and placing a light kiss on my cheek. He stopped, lingering there for a brief moment, as my eyes met his, getting lost there and forgetting my own damn name momentarily.

I reluctantly pulled back and forced myself to say something. "Yea... I'll see you soon."

He smiled and left, going out into the rain and running straight for the dense forest. I stood there in my open door and watched him. My heart beating a mile a minute and a burning blush forming on my cheeks, as I slowly closed the door. I rested my head there for a brief moment and recognized the feeling now blazing within me.

My father cleared his throat from behind me, nearly jumping me out of my own skin.

"Ready Bella?" He asked, with a small laugh upon seeing my startled reaction.

"Jeez Dad... Don't freaking do that! Are you trying to give me a heart attack at 21?" I joked with him, grabbing my jacket and slipping it back on.

The drive to the local diner was comfortingly familiar, as I filled my father in on College and my plans to return as soon as possible. He expressed how happy he was to have me home and how very proud of me he was.

"By the way..." He began, parking the cruiser at the diner. "I think you made the right choice for you, sweetheart. Not getting married so young. Your old man is proud of you for that, too."

I smiled at him, as we got out and made our way into our old favorite place to eat. We quickly got a table and waited for Billy and Jacob to join us.

Butterflies assaulted my stomach while we waited. Something else I wasn't expecting to feel...

My father laughed and I shot him a puzzled expression.

"What?" I asked.

"That Jacob..." He sighed, sipping his freshly poured coffee.

"What about him?" I asked, perplexed.

"He still looks at you the same way he did two years ago. Nothing's changed there Bella."

I blushed furiously and glanced down to my shaking hands now placed in my lap.

"Dad... really... don't be ridiculous... He's..." I stammered.

"Still smitten with you..." Charlie finished for me.

"You don't know th..." I began again.

"Oh yes I do... trust me, your old man knows these things. Well... speak of the devil..." Charlie chuckled, nodding toward the front of the diner where Billy and Jacob now were.

My breath caught in my throat as my eyes fell on Jacob. He was wearing a white dress shirt and black jeans with a belt. His shirt was even tucked in and I found myself having a hard time taking my eyes off him, as they approached our table.

I got up and immediately hugged Billy. I had missed so much about him.

"Well look at you, beautiful!" Billy said, hugging me back. "So glad to have you home again."

"I'm glad to be back... Missed you guys..." I confessed.

"Well I missed you, too. I'm not the only one..." Billy chuckled, as he gestured to Jacob and wheeled himself up to the table.

"No dad... you certainly weren't the only one." Jacob sighed, flashing that perfect white smile of his.

I sat back down at the table and Jacob slid in beside me. His arm brushing up against mine, sending chills down my very spine at the simple contact.

The waitress soon came over to take our orders, and I couldn't help but notice her flirt shamelessly with Jacob. A small pang of jealousy settling over me at the site and catching me off guard. What the hell did I have the right to be jealous of? He wasn't mine...

I took a sip of my soda, listening to Charlie and Billy banter over the last Mariners game. It was much the same as it used to be, and I hadn't realized I'd missed that too - until now.

Billy soon turned his attention to me. "So Bella... How was College life?" He asked, with a classic warm Billy Black grin.

"It was good... I'm glad to get a break though." I replied.

"I bet you are hun."

I felt Jacobs warm hand run down my arm under the table, stopping when he reached my hand and lacing our fingers together the way he always used to. I immediately stopped talking and glanced over to him next to me. His deep brown eyes meeting mine with a hint of a genuine smile forming on his mouth.

I couldn't help but smile back and hold his hand in return, before turning my attention back to my conversation with Billy.

"Well I hope you stay around for a while, dear. Hasn't been the same around here without you." Billy sighed, sipping his black cup of coffee.

"Thanks Billy. I plan to." I replied, feeling Jacob begin to caress the top of my hand with his thumb. The loving gesture, not lost on me.

The waitress soon returned with our meals and we began to eat together. There was laughter and good times to be shared all around. I genuinely enjoyed the dinner and felt myself a bit sad when the night came to an end.

Charlie paid for everyone's meal, despite Jacobs offer to foot the bill. Charlie thanked him anyway and promised he would let him pay next time around.

We were walking out of the diner when my dad unexpectedly got called into the station. He sighed heavily as he turned to me.

"Sorry Bella but duty calls, sweetheart. I'll try to be back before too late, okay?"

I smiled and nodded in understanding as I hugged him goodbye.

"Jake, you mind giving her a ride home here after dropping off your old man?" He asked.

"Not at all Charlie." He replied with a smile. "I'll be sure she gets home safe."

"Thanks Jake. Appreciate it. We'll see you later this week for the game, Billy. I'll bring the beer bud." He chuckled, giving a wave before leaving in his cruiser.

Billy waved back as Jacob helped him into the truck. Something else I noted that hadn't changed about him, his caring nature for his father remained firmly in tact.

He held the truck door open for me, gesturing for me to get in. "Looks like you're stuck with me for a few more hours..."

"I'm not complaining..." I laughed in reply, as he started the engine and headed for La'push.

The ride there was filled with Billy's laughter, hearing him talk about old memories from when Jake and I were just little. It was so nice to be back home that I found myself just soaking it all in, basking in the familiar surroundings.

We soon arrived at Jakes. Just the sight of his cozy red house brought a wide smile to my face. One that felt permanent.

Jacob helped his father out of the truck, seeing the smile on my face when he opened the truck door for me.

"I've missed being here more than you know..." I admitted, stepping out and walking with them into their cozy little home.

The home that held so many memories for me. The last one being when I had told Jacob I would always love him, but that I was going through with the wedding to Edward. The memory bringing back a fresh round of guilt for me now.

"Sure is nice to have you here again!" Billy said, flipping on the sports channel the way he always used to.

"Thanks Billy. It's nice to be here. I've missed this place..."

"Well, you two enjoy the evening. This old man is going to turn in early tonight. I'll be seeing you around, Bella."

I hugged him before we left and saw Jacob place a blanket over him in his recliner while I waited by the door.

"I'll be back later dad. Call me if you need anything, okay?" Jake asked.

"Sure thing my boy... Sure thing..." Billy replied with a wink as we left.

We were half way to the truck when I stopped and glanced over to his garage. Jake took note and followed my gaze, a knowing grin forming on his handsome face.

"Can we?" I asked.

"Absolutely Bells." He said, taking my hand securely in his and walking us over.

The garage was just the way I remembered it to be. Everything almost exactly in the same spot as it had been before I left two years ago.

I couldn't help but chuckle, noticing that even his tools were laid out the same way on his work bench.

"You haven't changed Jacob..." I said, with a small smile to him.

"Neither have you Bells..." He replied, as he handed me a warm soda with a wink.

I shook my head, glancing down at the soda can now in my hands and thinking back to all the times we had spent in here.

"I really missed you the last couple of years..."

"You could have called, Bells..." He replied. His tone growing more serious.

"I should have called..." I replied, nervously running my hand through my hair.

"How is your mom anyway?" He asked, quickly changing the subject for good reason.

"She's great. We had a lot of fun together. I already miss her." I admitted, taking a small sip of my warm soda.

"Well... For what its worth... I hope you found what you were looking for out there?"

I glanced up at him, seeing his eyes now on mine. His stare intense and penetrating. Like he could still read me with one look. It was unnerving and comforting all at the same time.

"Some things I didn't need to go searching for. Some of them were right in front of me."

"Some things?"

"Yea... important things..." I sighed, moving towards the garage door.

Jacob cleared his throat, as he tore his eyes away from mine. "Come on, I'll take you home?"

I nodded and walked out to the truck with him. A silence settling there between us now. One that lingered and became uncomfortable as he drove me back home.

There were so many things I still wanted to say to him. Things I had only spoken to Renee about while living with her in Florida.

We soon pulled into my driveway as Jacob cut the engine and got out to open my door for me. The silence somehow seemed louder between us now than before, making me painfully aware of the hurt I'd caused him from the way I left things. He may hold no ill will, but that certainly didn't mean there weren't scars from what I had done, and some of the selfish choices I had made in the past.

I found the house key once again and unlocked the front door. So unsure of what to say as Jacob stood there with me.

"Well... I had a nice time catching up with you tonight, Bells..." He sighed.

"Me too, Jacob. It was great to see your dad and the reservation again." I replied.

"He's missed you a lot since you left... We both have." He replied, eyes on mine.

"Thanks again for bringing me home."

"It's no problem, honey." He shrugged. "Goodnight Bells..."

"Goodnight Jake..." I replied, my heart breaking a little bit at how uncomfortable things suddenly felt between us. I knew I had no one to blame but myself for this. I had placed the distance between us to begin with, long before I had ever left Forks for Jacksonville.

My guilt felt overwhelming, as I watched him jog down my steps and head for home. I swallowed my pride and forced myself to say something before I lost my nerve altogether.

"Jake wait..." I said, running down over the steps to close the distance between us.

He stopped where he was, slowly turning back to face me when I reached him.

"There's something I want to say to you..."

He looked at me and nodded, encouraging me to continue.

"I..." I began, soon finding myself struggling for the right words to say to him. "Will you come inside first... so we can talk? I mean... Charlie won't be back till at least midnight or so..." I asked him. My nerves evident in my tone.

He looked torn as he stared back at me. Almost like he was afraid of what I was going to say. I hated that my rash decision making in the past had placed that in him even now. I pushed aside my nerves and moved closer to him, reaching down for his hands and taking them in my own. My eyes fixed on his.

"Please..." I whispered to him. Hoping he would give me the chance to say some of the things that were in my heart.

"Okay.." He replied, in a hushed tone to me.

My nerves returned to me once we were in my kitchen. Trying to think of the right way to say some of this to him. Would he even want to hear it? Would it matter or just further upset him?

I sighed heavily as Jacob got up from the table, slowly approaching me.

"I still make you nervous..." He stated, in a soft tone.

I nodded to him in agreement and felt his hand take mine, lacing our fingers together as he raised my hand to his lips, placing a small kiss on my inner wrist.

"Why?" He asked me in a whisper, eyes fixed on the crescent shaped scar his lips had just brushed.

I drew in a shaky breath and chose to be honest with him. Really honest...

"Because you can read me like an open book... Because you know me better than I know myself sometimes... Because you made me realize that I could survive without Edward... Because even though I haven't seen you in two years, you're still just as amazing as you ever were..."

I lifted my head, meeting his gaze as I continued... "Because you showed me what real love was supposed to be. I ran away from it... away from you... Because I knew that what you said was true. I did love you... more than I should have or was supposed to."

He looked at me in disbelief, as I placed myself even closer to him, leaving mere inches between us.

"Because when I looked at you, I would see things that made me question how real my love was with Edward to begin with. I asked myself, over and over, if I would be eternally happy without you in my life? Would I look back with regret?"

Jacobs eyes searched mine fiercely as I said this to him.

"Bells..." He breathed to me. Our faces mere inches apart now.

"On the mountain... when you kissed me... I saw what our future would have been like and I longed for that. I wanted that with you, and knew how wrong that was because I had made a promise to Edward... one that I couldn't keep." I finished, my eyes still on his.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters are the sole property of Stephanie Meyer. She owns them all.

**CHAPTER THREE**

I desperately searched his gaze as we stood there. Waiting for him to say something... anything. His silence was deafening as we stayed locked in each others eyes. Neither one of us daring to speak. I began to feel regret at my blunt confession now.

I released his hand. "I'm sorry, Jacob. I shouldn't have said anything." I whispered to him, slowly turning away.

Jacobs hand suddenly caught mine, spinning me back around and pulling my body flush to his in one swift movement. His strong arms securing me to him in such a way, that I could feel every inch of his perfectly toned body now pressed to mine. A small gasp escaped me in response.

His gaze now penetrating and all knowing. The same way it always had been with us. Time had not changed that, and I was almost certain that nothing ever could. I watched as his eyes wandered to my lips before meeting my own again, the air now swiftly changing around us.

I waited with bated breath for him to speak, longing to hear him say that he believed me. Hoping beyond all hope, that he would forgive me for my rash and misguided choices two years ago. That this wonderful man, who I selfishly took for granted back then, would see the absolute truth to my words now. That he would know how sorry I was.

Warmth spread through me from being this close to him and I basked in it, not realizing how much I had missed it until now. His eyes continued to bore holes into my very being, as the tension between us became palpable. Desire for him ran through me as a lust filled haze clouded my vision and thoughts, stealing away any rational part of me and leaving nothing but the raw need to be close to him in it's wake.

I could feel Jacobs heartbeat through his chest, feeling the love still prominently there for me with every solid thrum.

The person I was two years ago would have pulled away by now. The person I was then would have analyzed this to death. The person I was two years ago had changed.

I was uncharacteristically bold, as I slowly brought my lips to his, barely brushing them. Lingering there and savoring this moment with him.

Flashbacks of the kiss we had shared on the mountain, ran like wild fire through my mind, as Jacob pressed his forehead to my own. "Bells..." He spoke in a low husky tone, one that told me he felt the powerful magnetic pull between us, just as much as I did.

I brought my lips back to his with no hesitation, no thinking it through or analyzing it to death like before.

No more... I decided this was no longer acceptable to me.

His hand moved up my back and into my hair. His kiss passionate and fevered. I lost all train of prior thought. My lips moved effortlessly with his, feeling his tongue brush my bottom lip, enticing while silently asking permission to deepen the kiss. I surrendered to him, feeling his tongue meet mine, causing small ripples of desire to course through me. My body warmed to his as he pressed me to him, his blazing heat now seeping through his shirt.

My hands moved swiftly into his hair, trying to deepen the kiss even further. Desperately craving his warmth, his love, needing to be wrapped up in him.

My head and my heart were at war with each other, as my fingers now struggled with the many buttons of his shirt while his hands came to rest firmly on my hips.

My mind screamed at me to stop, that I had no right to him after being gone, without so much as a word for two years. But my body pushed me forward, sensing the combination of unquenchable physical need and craving that breathtaking emotional intimacy with him. Telling my head to shut the hell up, I hurriedly finished the last few buttons remaining on his shirt. My lips never leaving his, as he quickly took it off and tossed it to the side, before scooping me up in his arms in one fluid movement. He pressed me up against the wall and my legs wrapped themselves around his waist. I could now feel his prominent arousal through the barrier of his jeans. My hands going back into his thick hair, desperately pulling him closer. His lips melting into mine again.

My fingers slid down and roamed the contours of his shoulders, feeling his body against mine, eliciting a moan from me.

Desire, thick and heavy, ran through me. Jacob's warm tongue continued to explore my mouth. I returned his passion with equal intensity and fire. My need for him becoming wild and unrestrained, shocking even myself as I pulled back from him, quickly reaching down to grab the hem of my shirt and swiftly pulling it over my head. Jacob's dark brown eyes searched mine before his lips hungrily reclaimed my own, keeping me securely held to him as he headed for the stairs with me.

I knew we were moving, but I was too focused on the feel of his blazing skin to be aware of anything else. I heard the sound of my bedroom door opening and soon felt the soft bed beneath me. His mouth momentarily leaving mine to explore my neck, as he trailed fevered kisses along my collar bone. My breathing becoming ragged and his warm hands roaming over the bare skin of my stomach. He reached in behind me and quickly unclasped my bra. His lips coming back to mine when he removed it from me, pressing his warm chest to my own. The feel of his scorching bare skin was almost electrifying when it touched mine.

Skin on skin... I cherished the feeling of being_ this_ close with him, basking in it and_ aching_ to be utterly consumed in him.

I felt his hand cup my breast, his warm fingertips brushing delicately against my nipple, causing them to harden at his touch. His soft lips left mine, as he locked eyes with me, searching for any hesitation and seeing there was absolutely none to be found.

"You're perfect... beautiful..." He whispered to me, bringing his lips to my ear, before placing kisses along my jaw line and across my collar bone. I felt his warm tongue suddenly swirl around my pert nipple, slowly taking one in his mouth and then the other. His warm hands kneading them and evoking another moan from me. My back arched slightly when I felt his mouth slowly move down, his warm breath just above my navel, lingering there for a moment before his hands went to the top of my jeans. His fingertips brushing along the hem of them as he took them off.

I boldly sat up and reached for his jeans. My hands swiftly undoing his leather belt. His dark eyes on mine when I unbuttoned them. I ran my fingertips along his toned abs, seeing how defined they were and marveling at just how damn beautiful he really was, as he shuttered under my soft touch. His hand caught mine, intertwining our fingers together as he stepped out of his jeans, leaving him in nothing but black boxers. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him. He was simply divine, every inch of him cut and sculpted to timeless perfection.

I pulled him toward me as my lips devoured his own. He laid me back down beneath him, covering my body with his and settling himself between my legs. His arousal now firmly prominent. Jacob moaned against my mouth, as he pressed himself against my throbbing core. His blazing skin on mine, his warm hand running up my outer thigh, as I moved with him, creating a rocking motion with my hips.

My skin warmed to his and my desire for him pooling between my legs as he moved with me. A slow burn of need starting within me, feeling him grow impossibly hard. My hands tangled again in his hair, as his lips left mine and made there way down to my breasts before slowly trailing down even further to my stomach. I closed my eyes as I felt his fingers slip beneath the hem of my red lace panties. A small wave of nerves coming over me when he slid them off, leaving me now completely naked and exposed to him. The subconscious side of me surfaced, as I opened my eyes and tried to cover myself, feeling my insecurity trying to get the better of me.

Jacob took notice of this and moved back up my body, now hovering above me. He took both of my hands in his and placed them above my head as his fingers laced with mine. His eyes piercing through me while he spoke in a husky whisper.

"You don't ever have to hide from me, honey. You're so damn beautiful, Bells. Every part of you is perfect..."

I drew in a shaky breath, seeing the sincerity clear in his gaze and knowing he meant every word. I pushed past my own unfounded insecurities, as I released his hands and cradled his face. My eyes now studying the perfection of him while I slowly ran my fingertips along his jaw and down to his chest, lingering there for a moment and reflecting on how very blind I had been before.

I urgently brought my lips back to his, as his hand caressed my outer thigh then slid up to rest on my hip, setting my body ablaze at his warm touch. The backs of his fingers ran across my lower abdomen and I soon felt them brush against my sex, causing an audible gasp to escape me in response. Jacobs lips moved to my neck, kissing me there once more before his warm cheek nuzzled mine, his lips now at my ear.

"Can I touch you, honey?" He asked.

His tone a mix of lust and love all at the same time, causing me to forget how to formulate words. I simply nodded, because it was all I could manage, and felt his fingers begin to caress me intimately, sliding them along my sensitive flesh. The slow burn within me grew rapidly at his warm touch, leaving my head whirling from the sensation. Every nerve ending in my body came alive, as his fingers found the one spot that sent pleasure rippling through me. I could not control the moans that came from me, as he continued. Feeling his warm breath caress my neck, as he nestled his face there, listening intently to my every moan.

My hips arched up while he mercilessly continued, bringing me to the brink of savage bliss over and over again. His touch, forcing all other thoughts to leave my mind as I felt the pleasure build within me. Just when I thought I could take no more, he gently eased two fingers inside me. I writhed and pressed against them, now gasping, panting, aching for him.

I felt myself start to come apart at the seams. My body coming alive in a way it never had before as he continued. I brazenly reached down and tugged at his boxers. Desperately wanting to rid the last barrier between us, wanting nothing more than to be one with him, craving his body to be joined with mine. To feel him sheathed deep within me.

I slid his boxers down over his hips and he quickly assisted me with taking them the rest of the way off. His arousal now free from its restraints. No more barriers remained between us.

His eyes met mine as he slowly settled himself between my thighs, precisely placing himself in a way so he would not crush me. His naked body now fully with mine.

I stared up at this majestic man, hovering above me, seeing the moonlight from my window touch his face as he brought his lips back to mine. I felt him press himself up against my throbbing center, a shudder running through me from the feel of him. My heart beating a thousand miles a minute as he broke our kiss.

I watched a mix of emotions suddenly cross his handsome face as he met my stare.

"You still mean everything to me, Bella... That hasn't changed, honey..." He breathed.

His body trembled above me with his confession and I immediately replied with one of my own.

"I still love you, Jacob... More than you know..." I admitted, bringing my lips back to his.

He pulled my leg up, slowly hitching it around his hip.

"I love you too, Bells. That won't ever change." He breathed against my mouth.

"Not ever?"

"Not ever, honey..." He replied, as I felt him ease himself within me. I gasped, my body flooding with warmth and fullness from him.

Jacob stilled for a moment, nuzzling his face in my neck. The gesture, loving and affectionate.

I arched my hips up slightly, encouraging him without words to continue. It was my way of letting him know I was okay. My name fell from his lips as he eased himself the rest of the way inside me. The two of us becoming one.

"Bells..." He breathed, bringing his hand up and taking mine, intertwining our fingers.

I moaned and felt him begin to move, taking his time with me. Every thrust was slow at first, giving my body time to adjust to him.

Jacob kept a tantalizing rhythm, slowly picking up his pace when he saw no sign of discomfort from me. I moaned aloud, over and over, as pleasure began to build deep within me. His every thrust now hitting the right spot and causing me to cry out. My body feeling things it had never felt before. All of me now consumed with Jacob... Just Jacob.

I began to move with him, bringing my hips up to match his every thrust. My hands soon found their way back into his hair, pulling him closer to me and kissing him with all that I was. My body was being driven to the edge with each thrust Jacob made. His skin so warm against my own, that our bodies were soon covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

Jacobs hand released my own as he reached up and firmly gripped my headboard. I could hear the wood strain and crack under his powerful grasp. He ran his free hand down to my sex, finding that sensitive part of me as his lips claimed mine once again. The skilled touch of his fingertips combined with his deep thrusts, were more than enough to send my body spiraling into an all consuming orgasm.

I threw my head to the side, taking my lips from his and feeling my body now coursing with pleasure. A Fire pooling low in my abdomen and blooming out through me.

"Jacob... Jacob..." His name fell from my lips in reverence.

I soon felt his whole body go rigid, all his muscles tensing as he found his own release. He moved his arm under me and pulled me flush to him, his thrusts going even deeper and becoming more powerful as his release took him under. His rhythm increasing enough to send me into a second orgasm, leaving me panting and breathless as his body lowered to mine.

He placed his head on my chest, his breathing still ragged and my body still a trembling mess there beneath him.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable characters are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I read and value each one**. **You all are awesome! Sorry for the slight delay in posting this chapter. Thanks again and as always, happy reading**:)

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**(BPOV)**

Time seemed to stand still. My very heart, still pounding erratically in my chest. I held Jacob close to me, listening contently to his breathing. The feel of his chest rising and falling, as my eyes grew heavy, my body craving sleep and left in blissful state.

Jacob moved, rolling slowly onto his back and taking me with him. I laid my head on his chest, feeling his fingers run through my hair, and his warmth encompassing me while I slowly succumbed to my exhaustion.

The heat, just enough to be comforting, but not stifling. His strong grip on me tight, yet not tight enough. I used my last bit of energy to draw myself even closer to him before my eyes closed one last time, sleep taking me under.

I was suddenly startled awake some time later, by the sound of Charlie slamming the front door shut downstairs. My eyes flew open to hear his footsteps trailing across the floor, the T.V. turning on in the living room. I moved slightly and felt Jacobs warm arms tighten around me In response. It was then that everything came falling back into place for me. Charlie was now home, and Jacob was still here!

I bolted immediately upright, my hand flying instantly over my mouth as I gasped..."Shit!"

I felt Jacob sit up behind me. His eyes growing wide and meeting my own, reading the panic there.

Charlie's footsteps came wandering up the stairs, one by one. My heart lodging itself in my throat, listening to him approaching. Jacobs eyes still fixed on mine, neither one of us moving.

Charlie suddenly stopped half way, and then ran back down over the stairs. I sprung into action, taking the only window of opportunity I saw, to escape possibly the most humiliating thing that could happen - Charlie walking to in to find Jacob and I naked, in bed together.

While I knew how very much Charlie loved and respected Jacob, I also knew the over protective father, and cop in him, could very well try to shoot Jacob upon finding us this way. I frantically searched for my clothes, quickly getting dressed, as I tossed Jacob his jeans and belt. He slipped them on, before throwing open my bedroom window, stopping briefly to meet my gaze. The look on his face unreadable and worse, uncertain.

I didn't hesitate before rushing over to him, pulling him to me, and kissing him with all that I was. Jacobs strong arms wrapping around me and pressing my body flush to his, making my very head spin, as he released me with a wink and a smile, before jumping out and landing with ease on the grass beneath him. He glanced up at me once more, our eyes meeting again, before running off into the woods in the dead of night.

I stared after him, unable to stop the blushing smile that spread to my face, making my cheeks hurt. A memory of him jumping out this very same window and landing the very same way, came back to me as I hurriedly climbed back into bed.

Charlie reached the top step, as I pulled the comforter around myself and closed my eyes, appearing to be asleep. I heard him open my door and peak his head in.

I held my breath, silently hoping he hadn't heard Jacob when he left. Relief flooded through me when I heard him simply close my bedroom door and retreat to his room. I breathed out a heavy sigh of relief, slowly sitting up and running my hand through my hair anxiously. That had been close... too damn close...

The silence of the night settled in around me, as I sat there in bed, thinking of what had just happened. Remembering how amazing Jacobs body felt with mine. A rapid blush settling into my cheeks at the memory...

I tried not to over think it, but I couldn't seem to stop the many questions that were now running through my head... What does this mean? What have we done? Was it too soon? Too late?

I sighed heavily, knowing that Jacob was probably asking himself the same questions right about now...

* * *

**(JPOV)**

I ran through the dense, wet forest, in the dead of night. Stopping only long enough to strip off my jeans, that were now soaked from the heavy, punishing rain. I soon hit the ground running again, on all fours. My paws digging into the drenched forest floor beneath me. My thoughts consumed with only one name... Bella.

My pace faltered a bit at the memory of her naked body beneath mine. My name coming from her lips repeatedly. Guilt weighed heavily on me for leaving her in such a rush like that, even though I knew the reason, I still hated to go. If I had it my way, I'd hold her all night, stay wrapped up in her till the sun came up.

Everything had happened so fucking fast. Apart of me had a hard time believing it was even real and not just some damn illusion in my head.

I crossed into the border of La'Push, thankful that no one was out on patrol until early morning. My thoughts were safe and my own, for now at least.

I had never felt so whole in all my life, as I did right now. When she left two years ago, she took my heart with her. Not just part of it, but the whole damn thing went with her to Florida. The hell I went through from her absence, was something I feared to ever share with her. If she knew some of what I had done, just to erase the pain from her being gone, I feared she surely would never see me the same again. My chest ached even now at the memory of finding out she was gone.

I had been on the run for months prior to her wedding, taking off in wolf form, and never wanting to look back. I had tried to prepare myself for that inevitable fate, but nothing could have prepared me for when I received the proof of it in my shaking hands. A damn wedding invitation with her very name printed on it.

She was marrying Edward. She was giving all of who she was to that leech. She would never be mine. We would never be anything...

It felt as if someone had reached their hand inside my chest, and ripped out my heart. Taking all of it in their greedy hands and leaving me with a gaping hole there forever. Nothing could ever fix that kind of hurt. No one would ever be able to replace Bells for me... No one.

I remember running home on the day of her wedding, debating the whole way there, on whether or not I should even go for her. At least see her one last time. I knew how fucking painful that would be for me, but the thought of missing my chance to see her one last time before that demon erased every part of her from me, hurt much worse.

When I arrived home three days later, Billy wasn't there. The house was completely empty as I walked in, glancing around to see nothing had really changed in my long absence. I quickly took a long hot shower and dressed to go to her wedding, a lump already in my throat before I had even left.

I was just getting my jacket on when my father suddenly came home with Charlie, both of them stunned to see me there. Charlie even more so, considering he had no clue in hell where I'd been for the last three months. He didn't hesitate to give me a hug the moment he entered the house, relief on his face at seeing me back home and safe. My mind was running in over drive, looking at them both, curious as to why they were no longer at her wedding. My father cleared his throat upon seeing my questioning stare, as Charlie sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"If you're heading to the wedding Jake, don't bother son." Charlie said, taking a swig from the beer on the coffee table.

I shot a wide eyed look at my father, assuming the worst, that Edward had already changed her and given some half assed, bullshit excuse to Charlie just to save face. I couldn't help but clench my hands into tight fists in response to the thought. Pain wrapping itself securely around my heart, feeling like barbed wire, slicing its way into me, every breath becoming more painful then the last.

My father saw my expression and quickly explained. "She left... She's gone, Jake."

I stared back at him with a mix of emotions running through me all at the same time. "Gone? What... What do you mean she's gone?"

My father glanced over to Charlie who then spoke up. "She ran off... never even made it down the alter..." He replied, running his hands over his face with clear worry for her. "I knew she wasn't ready, and now she's on a plane to Jacksonville. To see Renee."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, as I watched Charlie pull out his cell phone and hand it to me. "Here Jake, she left me a voicemail. There's something in it I think she wanted you to hear."

I took the phone from him. My hands shaking already, before listening to her voice come through clear on the other end.

"Hey dad... Listen I...(Heavy sigh)... Didn't want you to worry so I'll say this now before I get in line to board the plane to mom's. I love you and I don't want you to think this has anything to do with you ... it doesn't... I just... (Another Heavy Sigh)... Really need some time... I need to figure some things out for myself. I hope you can understand, and that you won't be too upset with me when you see that I'm gone. I left you my spare house key under the welcome mat... I have loved living with you. I know this seems so sudden and I hope you can forgive me for leaving without saying goodbye... (Long Pause)... I just had to go, dad... Please... Please tell Jacob, whenever you see him again, that I'm so sorry. I wish... I could see him face to face to say this, but I know you'll give him the message for me. Tell him... I'm sorry for everything. Give Billy a hug for me too, please. I promise I'll call you as soon as I get settled at mom and Phil's. I love you... Bye Dad..."

I heard the voicemail end and glanced down at the phone, seeing she had left this for him twenty minutes ago. I handed Charlie his phone back and quickly pulled out mine from my Jacket pocket, seeing it still had some battery left and dialing her immediately. My heart hammering painfully against my chest, as I paced the kitchen floor. Practically wearing a hole through it.

One ring... Two ring... Three ring...

Fuck... please pick up Bells...

Four ring... Five ring... Voicemail...

I hung up and dialed her again. This time it went straight to her voicemail. "Hey you've reached Bella. Sorry I cant take your call right now..."

I hung up again, the lump in my throat returning. She was on a plane... To Jacksonville, Florida.

Unwanted tears stung my eyes as I stared down at the kitchen floor. She was running...

Guilt hit me then, thinking that this must have been exactly the way she felt when I had just taken off weeks ago.

I huffed and skidded to a halt when I reached the tree line of my back yard, stopping the memories for now. The rain still pouring down in buckets, as I phased back, pulling on my drenched jeans, quickly running across my back yard and up over the steps into the house. I quietly closed the front door behind me so I wouldn't wake Billy.

"Hey there, boy."

I jumped back, startled. "Holy shit dad. You jumped the fuck out of me. I thought you'd be sleeping."

"No... was up waiting for you. Must of nodded off a while ago." He chuckled, as I flipped on the lamp to see him better.

"Waiting for me?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow to him.

"Yep... Wanted to see how things went with Bella? Must of had patrol after you dropped her off?" He sighed with a nod, steeling a glance down at his watch. I could feel his knowing eyes on me.

"Yea I had to do a run before I came home." I lied, miserably.

"Bella got home okay, I assume?"

"Yeah." I replied, walking toward the kitchen with my father wheeling himself in after me.

"Real nice to have her back home again... real nice. Where's my truck?" He asked, bringing me up short.

"Fuck!" I cursed under my breath. I had rushed out of her house so damn fast that I had left dad's pickup sitting out front. I hung my head, knowing that Charlie sure as hell had to know I was there when he got home. The evidence parked in his driveway. All the effort in keeping it discrete, proved to be a wasted one at that.

"You left my truck at Charlie's didn't you?" My father chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh Jacob... I'll call Paul and see if he can't run over after patrol to pick it up. Are the keys still in it?"

I nodded to him, feeling like a fuck up. Bella would never hear the end of it from Charlie.

"Did you guys get much of a chance to talk... catch up?"

I swallowed hard, grabbing a bottle of cold water from the fridge, images of Bella's beautiful naked body beneath mine, her lips moaning my name.

"Uh... yea... We talked a bit..." I replied, turning back around to face him.

"Did you tell her..." He began, eyes on mine.

"No." I interjected, knowing where this conversation was headed and stopping it in its tracks.

"Jake..." My father sighed, shaking his head, his eyes narrowing at me.

I walked out around him, heading for my room to change, wanting to drop the issue.

"You have to...-"

I stopped where I was, glancing toward the floor with dread.

"I know dad... I know..." I interjected.

"She'll understand, Jacob. Trust your old man on this son."

"What makes you so damn sure of that?" I asked, my tone low, glancing over my shoulder to him.

"Because... A lot of things have changed since she left two years ago... but her love for you... that's a fixed point, Jacob."

I nodded to him before saying goodnight and closing the door to my room behind me. I threw myself down on my bed, glancing up at the ceiling. My father may be confident in Bella's understanding, but that didn't stop my fear of her ever finding out the truth. I closed my eyes and prayed to whoever was listening up there, that she wouldn't hate me for it, that she would somehow find it in her heart to forgive me. For the alternative, was too fucking painful to even comprehend. A pain I knew all too well.


	5. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters are the property of the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**(BPOV)**

The morning sunlight now peered in through my window. It's shimmering rays streaming along my walls and alerting me that the day had begun. I stirred under the covers, stretching and huddling myself down further into them, pulling them up over my head in an attempt to remain wrapped up in my warm cocoon for just a little while longer.

I sighed, breathing in and smelling the small traces of woodsy pine scent that still remained on my sheets from last night... Jacob's scent. I felt my cheeks flame with a rapid blush, further nestling myself down into the bed, as memories of him came flooding back to me.

Our kiss in the kitchen... His warm hands all over my body... His husky voice in my ear... His lips on mine... His body becoming one with my own... The way his blazing skin felt...

I closed my eyes, savoring these memories, and pretending that the world outside could wait just a while longer before I joined the madness.

Being with Jacob last night had felt so right, in a way I found comforting and yet shocking all at the same time. To think, I had not even spoken a single word to him in two years, and then to have what happened last night take place, had caught me off guard to say the least. It also left me feeling complete in a way I had not felt in a long time.

Nothing about him had really changed since my departure. He was still the majestic man he had always been. His charm and humor still there to match the hearty laughter I had come to adore so much. His caring nature for Billy, remaining a constant fixture in his life to this day. Something about him that touched me to my very being. To see him care for his father that way still, only reminded me again of the wonderful person I had foolishly and stupidly left behind two years ago.

Beyond that even, I couldn't help but ponder how very selfish it had been of me to dismiss my feelings for him at the first sight of Edward coming back. Treating what we had created together, in his absence, like nothing at all. As if it had never even transpired.

I sighed heavily upon remembering this. How the hell could I have traded in my own personal sun for the dark shadows of the moon?

I wish I could simply blame it on immaturity or a naïve way of thinking, but that would be taking the easy way out. Truth was, I was selfish then and I should have seen what was right in front of me. I knew it would do me no good to dwell on the events of the past. It was pointless and a waste of valuable time if you ask me. Charlie had always taught me that the best way to atone for your past was to make better choices in your future. This was certainly something I was going to practice myself from now on.

I stifled a small laugh at the thought of how damn close we had been to getting caught last night. Charlie would have lost it. We should have been more careful. I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall asleep with him like that, knowing Charlie was due home and losing all sense of time and place in the heat of the moment. I was so consumed with Jacob to even care much about anything else. I don't even remember thinking about anything or anyone but Jacob once we were upstairs.

I paused momentarily on this thought...

We were downstairs first...

I abruptly sat up, throwing the covers off me with the startling realization that some of our clothes were still downstairs.

I jumped out of bed, leaving my warm little sanctuary, and nearly tripping over myself trying to open my bedroom door. I cautiously peeked my head out, listening to see if Charlie was still asleep.

I slowly tip toed across the hall and down over the stairs, hearing Charlie's loud snoring coming from his room. My foot touched the bottom step and it made a loud creaking noise. I inwardly cringed and stopped, closing my eyes and praying he would remain asleep, as I walked swiftly, and with far more grace then normal, across the floor. My eyes soon falling on Jacobs white shirt and then my own. I quietly cursed under my breath before gathering them in my arms.

Dread hitting me at the realization that these had been here for Charlie to see when he came home from his shift at the station. I knew how very tired he was when he returned home most nights and I could only hope, by some small miracle, he didn't notice them before retreating to his room. Maybe this was naïve hope, but I had to hope anyway. The thought of Charlie knowing what had happened between Jacob and I last night was horrifying at best.

I ran quickly, and as quietly as I could, back upstairs. Pausing briefly at the top to hear Charlie still thankfully snoring away.

I tip toed back across the hall and soon closed my bedroom door behind me, leaning up against it, as I glanced down at Jacobs shirt now in my hands. I couldn't resist lifting the fabric to my face and inhaling his intoxicating scent, bringing with it the many memories of last night and making me miss him already.

I glanced around my room, trying to think of where I could keep his shirt until I could return it to him. My eyes fell on my dresser and I hurriedly opened the bottom door, folding his shirt and placing it on the very bottom, piling my own clothes on top of it, so Charlie wouldn't see. Not that he would ever have any reason to go through my things, but just in case, after our carelessness last night, I wanted to be sure and cover all my bases.

I looked over to my clock, seeing it was only nine in the morning, and debating on whether I should go see Jake this early. Would that come across as needy?

I pondered this for a brief moment, before shaking my head and rolling my eyes at the thought. After all, I had to remember this was Jacob we were talking about. Not some random guy I had met at a college party.

I decided to shower and get ready for the day, trying to make it out of the house before Charlie woke up. I was silently dreading the awkwardness I knew would be waiting for me when I heard him downstairs making coffee. I sighed heavily, slowly making my way down the stairs, one at a time, and secretly wishing that they would do me a favor, by opening up and swallowing me whole. As it turns out... No such luck.

Charlie saw me the moment I descended off the last two steps. My heart lurching itself into my throat and my body growing tense with nervous energy, as I waited there for him to say something.

"Morning Bella." He smiled, handing me a cup of hot coffee.

I took it and tried to wipe the stunned look off my face before he caught on. Morning Bella? That's it?

"Uh... Morning Dad. Sleep well?"

"Yea... Not too bad..." He nodded, with a heavy sigh before taking a seat at the kitchen table.

I joined him there. My eyes still searching him, as he opened the morning paper and drank his java. Surely, he was inwardly festering and doing a damn good job hiding it, or the impossible had occurred... I had received my miracle and he didn't notice the clothes on the floor last night. I held my breath a bit longer, waiting for the other shoe to drop, as they say.

Only the shoe never came...

We simply enjoyed our morning coffee together. Charlie complaining over the horrible losing streak the Mariners were now having, and me agreeing with him, following along to the best of my ability, in high hopes that the Mariners would be the only thing discussed this morning.

After a while, I noticed my coffee was gone and got up for a refill, asking Charlie if he needed one before I left.

"Where are you headed?" He asked, folding his paper and setting it on the table.

"Uh... Jakes... for a bit..." I replied, handing him his mug.

"You guys have a good time last night?"

I swallowed hard, feeling the nerves come back at his seemingly simply question.

"Yea we did. It was really nice to see his house again and Billy. Missed them a lot." I replied, slipping on my jacket and attempting to keep my answer vague.

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed your time with him. He's a hell of a guy that Jacob. He certainly missed you when you were gone."

I nodded in reply and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll be back later, dad, I love you,"

"Sure thing, honey. I'll be seeing you then. You know Billy's coming over here for the game tonight, sure would be nice to have the two of you join us?"

I smiled brightly at his offer. "Okay. I'll see if Jake can make it."

"Oh, trust me Bella, He'll make it. Wherever you are, he tends to be." My father chuckled, as I grabbed my keys from the table and headed for the front door.

My fathers laughter soon stopped and I heard him clear his throat. Bringing me up short. My hand still lingering on the door knob.

"Oh yea... And Bella..." He sighed. "Don't forget to take Jake's shirt back to him... He may be needing that... And uh... mind telling me how the hell Jake got home when Billy's truck was parked out front?"

I opened the front door and glanced out to see his truck gone now and hearing my father clear his throat from behind me. "It's gone now. Was when I got up this morning. Billy must of had him come get it early? Did he get a ride home with someone?"

I felt my stomach drop. My nerves overwhelming me, and biting my lip in response to his statement. I had not received my miracle. Of course not, that would of been too damn easy right? This was me after all. The one who wouldn't have any luck at all if it weren't bad luck.

My eyes met his upon turning back around, seeing a mix of emotions in them.

"Dad... I... we..." I tried to respond. The words seeming to get permanently stuck in my throat, nearly choking me.

He raised his hand with a nod of his head to silence me. "You know what... Never mind. Don't need to explain anything to me, Bella. As a matter of fact... Please don't. But..." He paused, his eyes averting to the floor, and his face becoming a bit red before continuing. "Be careful okay? Just be careful... "

I nodded frantically to him, wanting this conversation to be over before it had even started.

"Dad..." I trailed off, seeing the prominent flush to his face remain.

"You know what I'm saying, Bella... enough said."

With that, I left the house and made my way over to Jacobs. My thoughts running in overdrive the whole way there.

I was horrified to know that my father, of all people, now knew about Jacob and I. And if I knew him, he would probably have a long conversation with Billy about it sooner rather than later. It was times like this that I wished to be one without a conscience. One who didn't give a crap who she was sleeping with, and who the hell knew about it. But that was just not me, especially when it came to my father.

I pulled up into the familiar driveway, seeing Jacobs Rabbit parked there and feeling an instant smile spread across my face.

I was barely out of my truck before his front door flew open. Jacob now standing there with a classic Jacob grin plastered on his handsome face. My eyes met his and my heart began to beat wildly within my chest. He took a few strides toward me, his gaze penetrating. My lungs forgetting how to take in air, as I approached him.

Once I was within arms reach, he pulled me to him. My breath catching in my throat, as he brought his lips to mine. I eagerly returned his kiss, my head spinning and getting entirely lost in him. His warmth enveloping me, erasing the small chill from the cool air that I had felt before. His scent surrounding me and my heart feeling as though it would burst through my chest at any moment.

I felt him slowly pull away, breaking our kiss, and pressing his forehead to mine. "I missed you, honey."

"I missed you, too" I softly admitted, slowly opening my eyes and meeting his stare.

I suddenly grew quiet, feeling a sense of home within me that I had not felt before. Something that was not lost on me now. I reached my hand down and took his, lacing our fingers together, and biting my lip nervously. My mind wandering back to what Charlie had said.

"Can we talk?" I asked in a low tone.

Jacobs eyes met mine again, fear immediately coming to them. I mentally kicked myself upon seeing it there. Quickly back pedaling. "No... No its not like that..." I reassured him, pulling him toward his garage. A place I knew we wouldn't be heard.

Once inside, he closed the door and released my hand, eyes still searching my own. "This is about last night, right?"

I nodded and hurriedly explained so he wouldn't draw the wrong conclusion. "We were careless... Our clothes were still downstairs when Charlie got home and you left Billy's truck behind."

Jake's eyes grew wide in response, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Shit Bells... I forgot all about my shirt and dad reminded me about his truck when I got home late last night. I'm sorry..."

I shook my head and approached him. "Don't be sorry. I mean, you weren't the only one who forgot. I should have had enough common sense to pick them up. I just... wasn't exactly focused on that." I admitted, a burning blush settling into my cheeks.

Jacob reached his hands down, taking both of mine securely back in his. "What did he say?"

"To be careful..."

He nodded in response, lifting my hands and kissing them. "You don't regret it do you?"

"No... No I don't regret it... Why... do you?" I hesitantly asked, drawing myself further into him.

He shook his head, leaning in and lingering there for a moment. His lips mere inches from mine as he spoke. "Not ever, Bells."

I felt relief at his words and brought my lips to his, kissing him softly and marveling at the affect he had on me.

"Jacob!" Billy's booming voice came from outside, jumping the hell out of me, and causing me to literally jump backwards from Jacob. I practically tripped over my own two feet, if it hadn't been for his quick response, steadying me on my feet. I surely would have gone ass over tea kettle.

Jake busted out laughing at my lack of grace. The sound of it causing a wide grin to spread across my own face in return. I couldn't help it. His laughter was infectious.

"Jacob Ephraim!" Billy's loud voice came from the outside again. This time sounding irritated. I grew a bit nervous, shooting him a side glance, unable to stop myself from thinking the worst... That Charlie had just called Billy.

We walked hand in hand out of his garage to see Billy waiting there in the open doorway of his house. He greeted me with a smile, stealing a glance at our hands together. "You have a phone call. It's Quil and it sounds important. Here..." He said, handing Jake the phone.

I waited patiently in the living room with Billy while Jacob took the call. My eyes wandering over to him pacing in the kitchen, every once in a while. I could tell the phone call was important by the tone in Jacobs voice. It was tense, stern, and laced with a bit of authority I had never heard come from him until now.

Billy followed my gaze and chuckled, catching my attention again."Yeah, some things have changed since you left, Bella."

The proud look on Billy's face appeared to be as permanent, as the love he had for Jacob. It was evidently clear how very proud of him he was, and a small part of me felt like I had missed out on a lot more than I thought. I hoped it was somehow possible for us to get some of that time back. To make up for all I had missed out on. Whether or not too much had changed in my absence, making that impossible now, I was unsure. Only time would tell.

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX**

**_(JPOV - Reflection)_**

It has been said that loving someone is often the greatest and most terrifying thing you will ever do. They say the heart is only so strong, and by choosing to love someone so deeply, you may in turn, get your own heart ripped out.

They say you should love the person that makes you glad that you're alive. But what if that same person was slowly killing you from that love?

Love is a funny thing. You want a love that consumes you. To have passion and adventure and even a little danger. But when that love leaves you alone and empty, you often ask yourself why in the hell you ever loved them to begin with, even though you already know the answer.

If meeting someone is by fate and befriending them is by choice, why was falling in love with them beyond your control? Your heart becoming nothing more than collateral damage in the end.

I had been in love with Bella for so long, that I could no longer remember what it felt like not to love her. I was in love with a woman I feared I would never have. The pain that came along with that was unbearable for me. It left me feeling out of control and hollow.

There were days I would wish myself to be a different person. One who didn't care so damn much. One who could adapt a different mentality altogether. But it was something I could never seem to do. Try as I may, I couldn't erase who I was. Nor could I erase my feelings for Bella back then.

Running didn't work. I had found out the hard way, that miles did nothing when it came to love like that.

My father would remind me often to be the better man. He would tell me that he believed love always found a way, no matter how very impossible it seemed, it just did. I would mostly dismiss this, not out of disrespect, but out of the desperate attempt I made at choosing not to believe.

Believing was dangerous. A form of torture all on its own. It played games with your mind, and worse, with your heart. It would lure you in and then coldly spit you back out, without a second thought. I had chosen to be done with believing. For it did me no good.

I used to think the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you love, but I was wrong. The worst feeling in the world is the moment that you realize you've lost yourself. That's exactly what I had done.

I used to think that the worst day of loving someone is the day you lost them forever. I had come to learn that there were far worst days of loving someone. Like never knowing what might have been. Like watching your very reason for breathing choose another over you.

My love for Bella had done exactly what it was supposed to... consumed me... entirely. I loved her but I hated what that love had done to me.

Love and hate... Such a fine line.

I didn't know who the hell I was without her. I didn't know how to be anything without her. The absence of her was everywhere I looked. How do you just stop loving someone you've loved since childhood? How do you convince yourself to let go? How do you trick yourself into thinking you're better off, when your heart and soul are screaming for that one person?

I ran for miles and miles, in wolf form, when I got that damn invitation in the mail. Desperately trying to find the answer to these questions myself, only to come to realize that I would never stop loving her. I would never be able to just let her go and that killed me. I felt destroyed, knowing that she felt what we shared wasn't enough. The memory of her telling me this very thing after the newborn battle, was on constant replay in my head.

I found out that distance away from her did absolutely nothing for the memories that haunted me. They stayed with me. The very same way the ache in my chest did at the mere thought of her. I had learned that feelings like this remain with you. They follow you. You can't escape them. Despite how much you want to.

Memories of her and I together would send rippling pain through me, causing my muscles to actually ache. My body would physically hurt without her near.

The many weeks I had spent in wolf form had only made things worse for me. I had set out to escape, to maybe have a moment of clarity, or to find whatever the hell it was I needed to rid Bella from my system permanently. But that moment of clarity never came, instead, I chose a different direction back then. One that I wished, now more than ever, I hadn't.

I had been so consumed with the hurt from Bella's absence, that I started to lose myself and the longer I remained in wolf form, the more lost I became.

After weeks of never ending heartbreak over her, I began to grow angry and bitter. Allowing myself to slip into the dangerous territory of not giving a shit anymore. I left my heart behind, going only with selfish instinct and choosing to place the animal within me first.

I've heard it said before that we choose our own path in life. That our values and our actions, they define who we are. If this is true... what the hell kind of person did that make me now?

I had learned not to underestimate the allure of darkness. Even the purest of hearts are eventually drawn to it.

I knew it was just a matter of time before my past would come back and resurface its ugly head again. The clock was ticking. I had to find the strength within myself to tell Bella.


	6. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyers.

_**CHAPTER SEVEN**_

_**BPOV**_

_***Three Weeks Later***_

I glanced down into my full cup of coffee, seeing the steam rise from the cup. My thoughts consumed with Jacob. The same way they had been since I'd returned home. I had spent every free moment with him lately and found myself marveling at how easily we had picked up right where we left off before my absence. It was seemingly effortless with us and I was grateful.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't hear Charlie when he came down stairs and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Penny for your thoughts this morning?"

I lifted my head and met his gaze, seeing him now join me at the kitchen table and feeling bad for not tuning into what he was saying before.

"I'm sorry, dad. What were you saying just now?"

"I was asking how your dinner went with Jake last night and wondering when you were gonna fill your old man in on what's going on with you two?"

I took a long sip of coffee, feeling my cheeks warm with a rapid blush. "What... I mean we're..." I paused, coming up empty on how to explain what Jake and I were when frankly, I didn't know what label to place on it myself. Neither one of us had taken the time to define that aspect of our relationship yet.

"Oh come on now, don't give me that. You've been spending a lot of time with him since you got back. It's not hard to see that there's certainly something transpiring there."

I swiftly got to my feet to refill my coffee, trying to think of a suitable answer for him and still lacking one. I heard Charlie clear his throat from behind me.

"Is he coming over this morning for breakfast? Cause if he is, I'm gonna need to make a grocery run. That guy sure as hell knows how to put the food away!"

I couldn't help the small giggle that left my lips in response to hearing the shock in my fathers tone. If he only knew...

"I think he's stopping by for a bit before he heads to work." I replied.

Jacob had recently taken a part time job at the local garage. A friend Of Billy's had offered him a new mechanic position. He certainly had his plate full with running all the extra patrols he had lately. Jacob didn't seem to share the details of the packs business with me the way he used to. It appeared that he kept things more to himself these days.

I understood and respected his boundaries on sharing things with me. Though I had a feeling deep down that he was no longer just a member of Sam's pack. I suspected that he now played a much more significant role, one that he had been born to take. One that I myself, had secretly wished he would claim as his own someday. Even when I was still with Edward, before I had fled the state to Jacksonville, I knew that Jacob was born to be a leader and I was thrilled to think he may have rightfully claimed that role now. I would simply wait for him to tell me whenever he was ready to. It was something worth waiting for.

Despite the way I had left things, and the many miles I had placed between us before, Jake and I were better then we had ever been. It just confirmed to me that there are friendships imprinted in our hearts that will never be diminished by time and distance.

"Well be sure to tell him the game starts at eight tonight. Been real nice having you two join us for the last couple."

"Yeah, I'll ask him. I'm sure he'd love that." I replied, hearing a sudden knock on the door.

My father chuckled and went back to reading his paper, as I swiftly crossed the house to answer the door, nearly tripping over my own two feet in the process, which Charlie found to be even more damn amusing.

I reached the door, laughing at my own two left feet as I opened it to see Jake there with a welcoming smile on his face for me. Butterflies assaulted my stomach when he leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek and lingering there for a moment.

"Morning Beautiful." He whispered in my ear in a husky tone, bringing a flood of memories from the last time he's whispered that way in my ear. I had to force myself to remember to breathe.

"Morning..." I replied, a little breathless.

Charlie piped up from the kitchen, casually strolling in with his coffee in hand. "Morning there, son. How's it goin' today?"

Jake extended his hand to Charlie, who firmly shook it in return. "It's going well. Headed to work soon."

"Oh yea. How you liking that new job of yours?" Charlie asked.

"It's going great. You know me and cars." Jacob chuckled in reply.

"Good. Glad to hear it. You'll fit right in over there. Your dad home this morning? Needed to ask him a few questions about the game tonight."

"Yea, he was just getting up when I left."

"Great. I'm gonna head over there for a bit." Charlie replied, slipping his jacket on and smiling at me. "See you two later? Join us for the game?"

"Yea, that sounds great. I'm out of work at five so..."

"Okay, see you two then. Have a good day." Charlie replied, before heading out to his parked cruiser.

He was barely off the porch before I felt Jake arms around me, pulling me to him.

"You okay with me being here for the game later?" He asked, his tone still low and extremely sexy.

I nodded and brought my lips to his, stealing a kiss before he would have to leave for work. My tongue swept his bottom lip, eliciting a moan from him.

"I'll miss you..." I admitted, as I pulled back, meeting his gaze.

"I'll be missing you more, Bells." He replied, placing a kiss on my forehead. I stopped myself from asking the question that had been on the tip of my tongue now for days. Afraid of what the answer might be.

We had both danced around that damn question so many times that I was losing count. I couldn't tell who was more afraid to define our relationship, me or Jacob. I decided to push my insecurity down for a little while longer, choosing to feign ignorant bliss and enjoy the moment with him.

"Something on your mind, honey?"

"No... Just... thinking about what I should make for dinner tonight. Any special requests?" I asked, lying shamefully.

"I love all your cooking. You know that." He said, releasing me with a wink. The simple gesture causing the onslaught of butterflies to return with a vengeance.

"I'll think of something by then I'm sure."

Jacob glanced down to his watch, taking note of the time. "I gotta get headed to work. Don't wanna be late."

"Yea..." I sighed heavily, unable to mask my disappointment at his departure.

"See you later, honey?"

"Sure thing." I replied to him.

He turned to leave, releasing my hand and heading for the door to go. I stepped out into the cold air with him, standing on the porch and feeling the brisk wind whirl around us. He was nearly to his car before he stopped and jogged back to me, his hands coming up to cradle my face before kissing me. His tongue meeting mine and leaving my very head spinning when he pulled back with a grin plastered on his face.

"I'll be seeing you..." He whispered. I somehow managed a nod to him and watched as he pulled out of the drive way, leaving me literally counting down the hours till I would see him again.

I couldn't stop the ridiculous smile that spread across my face when I thought of his husky whisper in my ear. My cheeks involuntarily flushed a deep shade of red, as I walked back inside to grab the grocery list I had made last night. We were out of nearly everything and I planned to fill the cupboards today while Charlie was at work. He had offered to give me money to go, but I had enough in my savings account from working at the local book store in college, to afford the groceries myself. I had built up my savings account over the past few years, and it felt good to be able to contribute to the household. After all, Charlie let me live rent free. This was the least I could do in return. I hurried to grab my truck keys and head for the store.

Driving through the desolate streets of Forks, I saw a few familiar faces along the way, some of which I hadn't seen since I had left two years ago. I spotted Quil and Embry at the local gas station where I pulled in to fill up. Quil spotted me the moment I got out, and jogged over with a large welcoming grin.

"Bella!" He greeted me, scooping me up in a hug and lifting me off the ground in the process. "Long time no see!"

I laughed myself at his enthusiasm and noticed Embry come strolling up to join us. His appearance had changed greatly from the last time I'd seen. He now was equally matched with Jacob in size and height.

"Hey Bella." He kindly greeted me with a smile of his own. His enthusiasm not nearly that of Quil's.

"Hi guys! God... look at you. You're both even taller now than I remember!" I laughed, looking the two of them intently over.

"Jake told us you were back in town. Just haven't caught up with you yet. You know with Jake hogging you all to himself these days." Quil said with a knowing wink.

I inwardly cringed at the thought of Jake's mind linking with theirs and exposing all the intimate moments we'd shared. My blush a dead give away to my thoughts. Quil nudged playfully into me with a chuckle. "Awe come on, it's really no big deal, Bella."

I shook my head and quickly changed the subject. "So, where are you working these days or are you in College?"

Quil laughed aloud at this. "College! HA! I barely got by in high school, passed by the skin of my teeth, No College needs the likes of me lurking around. Besides, Claire keeps me on my toes."

I nodded, remembering his permanent link to her. The thought causing an unsettling feeling within me, knowing that Jake and I hadn't even approached the subject of imprinting since I'd returned home. This living in ignorance thing certainly came at a high price with a heavy side of anxiety.

"I see." I replied. "What about you Embry?"

"Oh..." He began, shuffling his feet and clearing his throat once before continuing. "I've been busy... ya know... working at the garage with Jake and all."

I opened my mouth to reply, but ultimately came up short, finding it odd that Jake had yet to mention this to me.

"Jake didn't tell you that we're working together now?" Embry quickly added upon seeing my stalled reply.

"No... No he didn't ... uh... I guess it just never came up..."

"Well I'm glad you're back now, Bella. Was odd not seeing you around town like before. We missed ya' around here." Quil added.

"Thanks. It's great to be back home."

"For good right?" Quil asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well... for now..."

Embry piped up suddenly. "Wait... what? For real? You're thinking of taking off again... Don't you kn-" He stopped suddenly when Quil jabbed him harshly in the ribs.

"Never mind." He sighed, dropping the subject altogether.

"Wh... What do you mean? What's going on?" I asked, feeling left out of whatever secret they were now sharing.

"It's nothing, Bella. Really. We better get going. Embry here has to get back to work and I have a beach play date with Claire. Getting too chilly to do that with her for much longer, Fall coming and all."

"Yea. Well I guess I'll see you around?"

"Absolutely Bella!" Quil replied, placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. Embry remained silent and simply waved to me when they turned to go.

I stood there, pumping gas and mulling over what was said, with a mix of emotions over Embry's reaction to me. He was almost stand offish, not rude but certainly not the friendly, always cracking a joke Embry that I remembered. I quickly paid for my fuel and headed to the grocery store.

My mind was so busy that I became distracted, and was only half paying attention to the long grocerie list I was blankly staring at in aisle four of the supermarket.

"Bella?" I heard a voice from behind me cut through the hazy fog of my thoughts. I turned to see Emily there. Her pretty smile as lovely as I remembered it to be.

"Emily?" I replied, letting out an audible gasp at seeing a small baby bump under her red sweater. "You're..."

"About six months pregnant with a baby boy." She finished for me, laughter escaping her with her hand lingering over her growing belly.

I hugged her then, unable to contain my joy for her. "Wow... you look amazing. Congratulations."

"Thanks Bella. I was hoping we'd run into each other here at some point."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to drop by I just..." I paused, finding myself embarrassed to admit that all my free time had been spent with Jacob.

"Hey, it's okay. No worries. It's just nice to see you again. I heard you were back in town."

"I'm sure Jake told you." I said with a small laugh. It soon faded when I saw all laughter disappear abruptly from Emily. Her look growing nervous and unsure.

"Well... We uh... I mean things aren't..." She stopped, nervously adjusting the weight of her full basket of groceries.

Sam suddenly rounded the corner, meeting us there at the end of the aisle. I nearly dropped the basket in my hands when he lifted his face to meet my gaze.

Angry scars, in a shade of dark pink, lined his face and ran jaggedly down his neck. My eyes unwillingly followed the trail they made and saw them continue down to his chest, seeing them there from the few buttons he had left open on the flannel shirt he wore.

My eyes grew wide, following the trail further down to his arms, where the prominent scars grew from thin lines to wide gashes. I tried to suck in a breath and look away, but it was too late. He had already seen my horrified reaction. I reigned it in, to the best of my ability, and watched as his expression grew angry.

"You're really back here, huh." He said in a clipped tone to me. Acid dripping from it.

"Sam..." Emily cautioned, placing a hand on his arm. He roughly pulled it away from her, his eyes set on my own.

"I'll be out in the truck Emily. I'll wait for you there." He said, kissing her on the cheek and abruptly leaving us without so much as another word.

I stared after him, feeling my stomach churn uneasily. He had never spoken so coldly to me.

"I'm really very sorry, Bella." I heard Emily Say from beside me. Her voice small now.

"No... It's okay." I replied, in an attempt to reassure her, even though I myself was reeling from the encounter with him.

"I better be going, but maybe we can catch up later? Grab some coffee together?"

"Yea... I would love that." I replied, nodding frantically at her and still feeling like someone had slapped me across the face.

Sam was known for his strength and knowledge, and to see him like that was hard to take. Emily pulled me into a hug, whispering into my ear before pulling away to leave.

"It's not really you. I'm sorry. I'm glad you're back home."

I nodded to her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze as she turned on her heel to head for the long lines at the check out counter.

I watched her as she walked away and tried to return to my own shopping, aimlessly walking in a daze from aisle to aisle while glancing down at the list in my hands, and pulling the items half numbly from the shelves.

When I reached the end of my list, I made my own way to the check out and waited in the massive lines that seemed to move slower than damn molasses in winter. My mind began to wonder as I waited there and shuffled along as the line slowly progressed one individual at a time.

What the hell had happened when I left for Jacksonville? And why did I get the feeling that everyone was being so freaking secretive about it? The way Quil had silenced Embry when he found out I may not be here long term. And now seeing Sam and Emily. I shuddered at the memory of the ragged scars along his body. I clutched the basket in my hands a little tighter as I tried to piece this jigsaw puzzle together. Sam's scars looked exactly like Emily's now. Only deeper and more angry in appearance, which fathomed me because wolves _were supposed_ to heal. Without that ability, Jacob wouldn't have made it after he was attacked by the newborn vampire in the battle with Victoria and her army that Spring. I felt a cold chill run up my spine from that memory, reflecting on how close I'd been to losing him then. This didn't make sense. I heard the Cashier speak to me, breaking me away from my train of thought.

"Miss? Are you ready?" She asked.

I nodded and hurried to place my many items on the conveyer belt to move along so the impatient customers behind me wouldn't be put out from my sluggish ways. I was through with check out and back in my truck in no time. I sat there, feeling utterly lost in thought. What the hell was going on here?

A few minutes later, I pulled into my empty driveway and unloaded the many bags of groceries into the house. I was putting things away when there was a loud knock on the front door. I swiftly finished putting the canned goods away and went to answer it, my heart leaping into my throat to see Sam standing there on the porch. His eyes down cast at first.

He slowly raised his head as he spoke. "I owe you an apology. I'm sorry for my demeanor at the store."

His tone was remorseful and sincere and one I could not ignore. I stepped gingerly out to meet him on the porch.

"It's... okay. I mean I... shouldn't have..."

"Stared." Sam finished the thought for me. "Who can blame you."

His tone sounded so defeated now, that I moved without thinking and hugged him. Sam had done a lot for me in the past. If it weren't for him and the pack, Victoria could have killed me that day. They were just as committed to my safety as the Cullen's had been then. All of them made countless sacrifices and all of them meant a great deal to me.

To my surprise, he hugged me back. I was expecting the hug to remind me of Jake's, simply because of the similarity they shared in raised body temperature, but instead he felt normal to me. The same way Charlie felt when he hugged me. I took note of this when he released me and resigned myself to keeping my eyes on his face only, looking past the marks and remembering who he was.

"You're still good with weird..." He sighed, stepping inside with me so we could talk.

"I try to be." I replied in a genuine tone.

"Well... thanks for understanding. Emily was pretty upset when she came out for the way I had behaved in the store. I was wrong for being an ass."

I grew silent and sat down next to him. Listening intently to what he said.

"Things changed when you left. I'm not alpha anymore. Not even in the pack."

My breath hitched when he said this. His tone was low and full of pain when he spoke.

"That's Jake's role now. It's been his all along. I was a shoe in. Jake has the birthright and he claimed it."

I wanted to smile at the pride I felt for Jake, but didn't because something inside me told me that this was just the beginning to the underlying truth.

Sam cleared his throat and continued after a few brief moments. "Has Jake told you ... anything?" He asked.

I shook my head in reply, hating how disconnected that made me feel from Jacob. He used to tell me everything.

Sam hesitated, his jaw growing tight as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees.

"I shouldn't be the one to tell you. It's something that Jacob should get the chance to tell you."

"What happened Sam?" I asked, wanting to know the truth and feeling tired of being left in the dark.

Just as he opened his mouth to continue, there was another knock on the door. Sams eyes grew wide and met mine as he rose to his feet. I reluctantly opened the door to see Jake there with Billy. They were a whole hour early and the timing could not have been worse.

"Hey Bells." Jake greeted me, his tone warm and affectionate.

"Sorry we're early, dear. I see Sams truck out there, didn't mean to intrude." Billy lightly chuckled, as Jake wheeled him in through the front door I held open.

"That's okay" I replied, trying to keep the mood light for everyone's sake.

Sam glanced to me before shaking Billy's offered hand. The tension in the air thick and heavy. Jake's eyes met Sams briefly before Sam jetted out in hurried fashion. He said a quick goodbye to me before jogging down the porch stairs and climbing into his truck.

My heart twisted painfully as I went back into the kitchen and began dicing up vegetables for the chicken stew I should have had cooking thirty minutes ago.

I was mildly aware of Jake entering the kitchen behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist. He was quiet, not saying anything while I chopped the carrots and celery into little bits. The days events and run ins, weighing heavily on my mind. Try as I may, I knew in my heart that I couldn't ignore the inevitable any longer. Our living in blissful ignorance was no longer so blissful. I felt Jake's hand come to rest on top of mine, as I laid the knife down on the counter and slowly turned in his arms to face him.

I placed my hands on his chest and glanced up to see his deep brown eyes full of fear before either of us uttered a single word.

"Bells... I... " He began, seeming to struggle, his eyes searching mine and reminding me of a time when he was in my room unable to tell me that he was a werewolf. I took his face in my hands and drew myself closer into him.

"We need to talk about this later. And I'm not even sure I know what 'this' is, but I promise to listen and to try to understand because there's nothing you can't tell me Jacob Ephraim."

He nodded to me, his hands coming to rest on my hips. I didn't know what I was in for but I knew that I never wanted Jacob to feel he couldn't tell me something... anything. No matter how ugly it may be.


	7. Chapter 8

**_A/N: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! Hope you guys like this next chapter :) Happy Reading!_**

**_CHAPTER EIGHT_**

**_(JPOV)_**

Time had seemed to slip away from me. It had been almost a month since Bells had come back home. The days flew by, leaving me well aware that eventually, my time of denial would inevitably run out and I would be faced with the demons of my past. Each of them threatening hourly to resurface their ugly head into my present, and rip away the one person who meant the world to me. There would be times I would wake up first thing in the morning and feel okay. For a few fleeting seconds, I would forget it all, and leave my past where it belonged - In the past. But then it would slam into me, forcing me to remember. This had been the way I awoke each day for months now.

Bella being back with me felt so good, so right, that I would push that fear down and pretend everything was fine. Like throwing white paint on a canvas to cover your screwed up work from before. I knew it was absolute bullshit for me to carry on this way. But every time I would find myself in an intimate moment with Bella, and open my mouth to tell her the truth, the fear of it ripping us apart would overwhelm me and make me shut my mouth again. There were times she would meet my gaze and I swore she saw right through me. Making my damn fear increase ten fold.

I was fortunate enough to have my work at the shop now to keep my hands busy five days a week. I got lucky to have the position offered to me. My fathers friend, Clark Emerson, was the one who gave me the job and I was grateful. In the small town we lived in, work wasn't always easy to come by, let alone without a College degree, something I had every intention of getting but had yet to achieve.

Most days, I would get up before dawn and head to work early, just to be consumed with something other than my own maddening thoughts. Anything to get away from my obsessive inner monologue. I would busy myself entirely in my work at the shop, elbow deep in grease and not focusing on anything but the job given to me for the day. Thoughts of Bella would always trickle in though. She would call me when I took lunch on occasion, just to see how my day was going. The sound of her sweet voice alone would make me smile. We had slipped into the most comfortable routine. It was easy, simple and amazing. Something I never thought I would get to have with her.

We would spend time just laughing together. Her laughter was one of the sweetest sounds I had ever heard. I loved to hear her crack up over something I did or her tripping over her own two feet, which was almost a weekly occurrence. She intoxicated me, leaving me feeling almost euphoric when I would return home. On more than one occasion, she would call me in the middle of the night, wanting me there with her. I would got to her, without hesitation and sneak in through her slightly opened bedroom window. She would leave it that way on purpose, just enough of an opening for me to slip my hand under.

On the nights I had to run patrol with the pack, I'd end up heading straight to her house after, slipping in as quietly as I could, so Charlie wouldn't find out. Sometimes she'd wait up for me. Other times, she'd be fast asleep in bed and I'd linger there by her window, just staring at the woman I wanted to grow old with. The woman I longed to have a life with. My guilt would hit me like a brick to the stomach when I'd think of the truth I was withholding from her. I'd push it down and reign in my guilt just long enough to lay with her, to wrap my arms around her and feel her inch herself backwards, huddling into me. I had been keeping a certain amount of distance between us physically, intimately speaking, for the last few weeks because my damn guilt wouldn't allow me to cross that line with her again until I came clean. This was torture for me and hell on her. The sexual tension was so thick between us, it was damn near palpable at times. Something else my past was now fucking up.

I treasured all the talks we had shared, and the memories we'd reflected on since she came home. I selfishly wanted to erase my past and never face it again, all the while knowing how incredibly naïve this thinking was. I knew I was walking a thin line between feigning ignorance and out right deception. Either way, I was the one who would pay the ultimate price for my wrong doings in the end. I could only pray that it wouldn't be the end of Bella and I. Any fate would have been less painful for me to endure than that of losing her. I was on borrowed time, and equally aware of it.

So when I came home from a long shift at the shop, to see my father sitting at the table with a grave expression on his face, I knew that my time with this charade may well be up. The hour glass threatening to empty itself of any remaining sand, leaving me at it's mercy and on my knees begging it for more. I set my tools down on the table, taking off my work boots and meeting my fathers grim gaze. He sighed heavily, shaking his head and glancing down toward the phone on the table before him.

"Emily just called."

Three seemingly simple words sent my fear soaring, feeling my chest tighten with anxiety at his remark. I nodded to him, my eyes going to the phone and knowing before he even spoke of it what Emily had called about.

"She knows... Right? Bella knows?" I asked, my tone low with him.

"No... Yes... I don't know." Billy replied, still shaking his head.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I asked tensely, growing frustrated.

My father, hearing the raw edge to my tone, snapped his head up to lock eyes with me.

"I mean I don't know, Jacob. That's what I mean! I told you to tell her. Weeks ago!" He replied, taking a harsher tone than normal with me.

I shook my head angrily and stripped off my shirt to head outside and straight for the woods. The tremors rocking wildly through my body.

"Jacob!" My father yelled, bringing me up short a few feet from the front door. "You cannot solve this with what you're about to do, and you, my son, damn well know that! Now sit down."

I balled my hands into fists and slowly turned back around to him. "What the hell am I supposed to do!" I yelled back angrily.

"You should have told her before now... Before you got so involved. Now look at the mess you're in. Why Jacob? Why didn't you come clean with her before now?" He retorted.

"You don't think I haven't tried? That I haven't looked at her a million damn times since she's been home, and not tried like hell to tell her the truth and rid myself of that guilt?" I shouted back at him. Feeling myself grow angrier by the minute, further losing any resolve I had left.

My father pounded his fist on the table. "You knew this would happen! You knew that she would eventually come back and you would have to face what you did! Not telling her is doing her no damn favors, Jacob. This is a small town! For shit's sake, I thought you'd figured out how big the chances were of her running into Samuel! Now it looks like you've deliberately kept something from her." He yelled back at me, throwing his newspaper down to the floor at my feet.

I opened my mouth to continue our fight, but bit my tongue, forcing myself to shut the hell up and remember that this was my father and that he didn't deserve my anger or my disrespect. What I had done was all on me. No one else.

I went into the bathroom to shower, without uttering another angry word to him. I slammed the door behind me, feeling my frustration peak as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, before turning the shower on. I scrubbed the grease off me and got cleaned up for dinner at Bella's. My throat feeling like it was closing more by the minute, pondering the many ways that this would all blow up in my face soon.

It was a cruel joke that the world had played on me really... Giving me back the one person who I lived for, only to have her coldly ripped away from me because of a choice I should have never made in the first damn place. Life was cruel that way I suppose. Giving you a taste of what your true happiness could feel like, only for it to slip through your very fingers in the blink of an eye.

I paced back and forth in my room after I got dressed, my head spinning and my fear closing itself in around me. If I didn't get a grip and reign this in, Bella would surely take one look at me and know something was up. We had a way of reading each other without really even having to try. It came so easy, so natural and it made keeping anything from her almost impossible. What do you do when you have all you've ever wanted in your hands and a lie lingering on your lips?

I sat down in my room, placing my head in my hands and trying to figure out a way to tell her the truth without losing her in the process. A knock on my door caused me to break my train of thought and look up. My father met my gaze as he wheeled himself into my room.

"Look son, you can't keep this up. In the end, it will be worse for the both of you if you do. She'll under-"

"You don't know that!" I interjected in a clipped tone.

"And you don't know that she won't, Jacob. You two have been through a lot before, and if she came back here to you, she'll choose to stand beside you when you need her, too. I know this is eating at you, and it should be, but Bella won't just toss what you have together aside for a mistake you made before she returned home. Now, come on, it's time to go. Don't want to keep them waiting."

I rose to my feet, grabbing my leather jacket and helping my father out of the house and into the truck. The ride to Bella's felt like it took me twice the time it normally did. Each fucking mile would pass agonizingly slow and I would reflexively tighten my grip on the steering wheel. The many miles passed until I was soon pulling the truck up to her house. My hand lingering on the keys in the ignition and feeling the dread, thick and heavy, secure itself within me. I switched off the truck and heard my father's low tone come from beside me.

"Jacob..."

I lifted my head, hearing the clear nervousness in his voice now, and seeing why when my eyes fell on Sam's truck parked behind Bella's. I felt my throat constrict when I stepped out, seeing he was in there with her. My father's cautionary tone lingering in the air when I helped him out of the truck and into his chair.

"Son... Have faith." He reminded me as we approached the front door.

Yea... Faith... I was gonna need a whole hell of a lot more than just faith to get me through tonight.

My tremors began the moment Bella answered the door and let us in. Sam rising to his feet and meeting my stare immediately. My father wheeled himself away from us and shook his hand. My eyes going to Bella who was now beside me. Her eyes glued to my fathers hand shake with Sam momentarily, before she said goodbye to him. He walked past me, his eyes on mine as he left the house. I heard his truck start and the engine rev when he left. My father's gaze following Bella as she went to the kitchen. I followed his stare and knew by just how silent she was, that the wheels in her beautiful head were already turning. I shook my head, looking to the floor briefly and feeling my heart constrict painfully, as I stood there wishing we hadn't reached this point yet. The hourglass from before now shattering before me, leaving me no hope of ever refilling it with sand to buy us more time.

I lifted my head, feeling my father's knowing eyes on me and meeting them once, as I headed in behind her, stopping in the entryway of the kitchen and forcing myself to go to her. My steps were slow and deliberate as I approached, placing myself directly behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist, slowly drawing her into me. She stopped what she was doing, a heavy sigh coming from her as I placed my chin on her shoulder, resting my hand over hers when she laid the knife down of the counter. Her heart was beating erratically within her chest. The fear I felt from before, grew to a new intensity when she turned herself to look me in the eyes, my own looking back and silently begging her to forgive me.

"Bells..." I sighed, my tone strained already.

I looked away from her, unable to hold her stare now. She moved herself closer to me in response, placing her hands on either side of my face and forcing me to look at her. It was now or never. I owed her the truth and I was gonna give it to her. I swallowed hard once more, knowing how much I stood to lose in this very night with her. I had known all too well what that felt like. It's not the kind of sadness where you cry all the time, though I had done that more than once over her, but it's more like the kind of sadness that overwhelms your entire body, leaving your heart aching and your stomach empty. Making you feel weak and tired from it and yet you can't even sleep cause the sadness is in your dreams too. It's a sadness you can't escape from. I knew this for a fact. because I had tried that route in the past. Losing Bella was the kind of heartache I could feel in my bones and I could only hope I wouldn't have to feel that kind of pain again.

I heard Charlie's voice come from the living room as Bella placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"We need to talk about this later. And I'm not even sure what 'this' is, but I promise to listen and try to understand because there's nothing you can't tell me, Jacob Ephraim."

I nodded to her, feeling her hug me reassuringly. I tightened my arms around her, closing my eyes and dreading the conversation that would inevitably have to take place later.

The evening seemed to drag by. The clock slowly ticking away and the hours passing. I tried to eat something at dinner for Bella's sake alone. Her hand reaching for mine under the table, listening to Billy and Charlie carry on and on about who owed who the twenty dollar wager they had placed on the game tonight. I was too lost in thought to pay much attention. It wasn't until I felt Charlie nudge into me, as he passed by me in the kitchen that I tore myself away from my thoughts.

"What's with you, son? Awful silent tonight?"

I simply shrugged and shook my head in reply. "Nothing really... just uh... Work related issues."

He nodded, his eyes going to Bella and then back to me. I'm sure he was not oblivious to the silence that lingered on between Bella and I after dinner. She kept herself busy in the kitchen with clean up and I knew it was her way of pondering things over, trying to draw her own conclusion as to what could be going on. I felt my father's eyes on me every once in a while and hated to think what would transpire soon enough. She would learn how losing her before had brought out the devil in me.

I sat there with them and pretended to watch the game while waiting for Bella. She soon emerged from the kitchen, her eyes going straight to mine.

"Uh dad... Jake and I were thinking of heading out for a while. Need anything?"

"No... Not that I can think of." He replied, only half paying attention to us, being fully engrossed in the game with my father.

"We'll be back later." She sighed, slipping on her jacket as I got to my feet, already feeling like I wanted to puke. Fear of losing what you loved most in this world will do that to a person.

I numbly threw on my jacket and followed her out to her truck. She turned and handed me the keys. "Can you drive us your house?"

I nodded, my throat feeling constricted, making it hard to reply. She remained silent on the drive to my house, scooting herself over in the middle when we were half way there. Her head coming to rest on my shoulder the same way it used to when we were younger and I would drive her home. My mind flooded with memories of our past. Her hand tightening in mine when we pulled into my empty driveway. The rain started to fall as I cut the engine. We sat there in complete silence for a few moments. My hand reluctantly leaving hers.

My insides were screaming at me to shut my mouth, my inner thoughts shouting profusely that I would lose her if she knew the truth. I looked over to see her stare blankly ahead as she spoke.

"When I left Forks two years ago, I was running from myself and I didn't take the time to stop and think about just how selfish that was. How selfish it all was." She sighed, turning her head my way. "Everyone make's mistakes, Jacob. So whatever it is you're about to tell me now, don't think it will make me run from you. There's nothing... absolutely nothing you could ever do that would make me run from you or think less of you. It's not possible."

I watched her closely get out of the truck. The rain now pouring down in buckets and soaking her as she walked around and met me at the driver's side door. Her hand taking mine and lacing our fingers together. "Come on." She said, walking us into my garage and away from everything and everyone. I closed the garage door behind us and switched on the flood lamp, seeing her glance up at me with expectation.

My nerves got the better of me, causing me to release her hand and turn away from her. I felt like someone had me by throat before I had even opened my mouth. I knew that this would be a defining moment for us. She would either forgive me or walk away from me.

"You used to tell me everything." I heard her softly say.

"I know." I replied, trying to find the courage to turn around and face her.

I soon felt her hug me from behind. "Tell me... Please."

"Okay..." I replied, taking a deep breath and turning to face her, feeling my heart clench as I began to finally spill the truth. "When you left... You took a part of me with you, Bells. A piece of who I was went with you and I didn't know how to cope. I didn't know how to get that part of myself back... To stop the hurt, because I never told you the truth before..."

I paused and felt my hands begin to shake. Bella took them in hers and shook her head in confusion. "The truth?"

"I never told you the truth and I should have. Back then and now."

"Jake... What are you trying to say? I mean wh-" She began, her eyes meeting mine.

"Losing you was the hardest thing for me. I didn't know who I was anymore, Bella. I didn't work right without you."

"I know that me taking off like that wasn't fair to you -"

"It's not that." I quickly interjected, releasing her hands and walking out around her. I shook my head, feeling hopeless in this situation. There was no way to avoid telling her the absolute truth. All of it.

"Then what is it?" She asked.

I couldn't seem to get the words out as I stood there, my back to her.

"Is it... someone else?" She asked, the scared tone to her voice catching my attention and forcing me to turn back around.

"No Bells. There is no one else. Not in the way you think."

She nodded once, shifting her weight nervously from one foot to the other.

"You could tell me if there were. I mean, I was the one who left and I would be naïve to think you... weren't with someone in my absence."

I fell silent for a moment, trying to be honest with her was proving to be more difficult by the minute. I didn't want to hide half the truth from her. That was still lying in my book. Lying by omission was still lying.

"After you left for Jacksonville, I lost myself for a while. I had lost you and you were that compass for me. Without you, I just wasn't myself. I did some things I'm ashamed of. Things that I never thought I would and things I wished, now more than ever, I hadn't." I took a deep breath and met her gaze, pushing myself forward to continue, despite my immense fear of what her reaction would be. "I took off for a while. Ran away like I had when I got your wedding invitation in the mail. I took off in the middle of the night, about a month after you'd left. Paul ended up running off with me. Said that Sam had ordered him to go with me, keep an eye on me. I needed to get the hell away from here. You were everywhere I looked, Bells. Memories of us and what we could have been... should have been... they surrounded me at every turn. So I left my father a note and took off. I ran for weeks in wolf form, just being in the wild and trying to discover who the hell I was again without you. We'd stop only long enough to phase back into human form and get wasted at some local run down bar. We'd end up crashing for the night in some cheap ass hotel and take off before dawn the next day."

I watched in horror, as her brown eyes clouded with unshed tears. The sight of them made me want to stop the conversation cold where it was, but the small voice inside my head reminded me that I couldn't. I cleared my throat and continued. "I stayed that way for over a year. Just running the woods, from state to state, and not allowing myself to feel much of anything. I went with instinct and followed wherever the animal in me lead me to. It was all in an asinine attempt to forget ... us..."

Bella nodded but remained silent, allowing me to further continue.

"After a while, I forgot what it was like to be human... to be me. The person I was changed and became angry and bitter and cruel. I didn't want to be me anymore. I wanted to stay in animal form and live that way. I felt like it was better for everyone involved because when I was home, I would selfishly spread my misery around. Even my father told me I was different before I left. I drank a lot... almost every night. Shot my damn mouth off when I shouldn't have, on more than one occasion, and didn't give two shits who I hurt in the process. I got angry at just about anything. Something so simple would set me off. I'd see Charlie and think of you and miss you so fucking much that my insides hurt. I missed the little things. Like the way the sun would light up your face, or the way you'd smile at me. The sound of your voice. I never thought that all those little things would come to mean everything to me. The moment that you left me, my heart was split in two. One side was filled with memories and the other was filled with you. I became more bitter with time and I had no care for others anymore. No real limits and the lack of them invited a lack of respect. I was trying to stop myself from holding onto something I knew would probably never happen, even though somewhere deep inside of me, I had this stupid hope that someday it still would. It was a hope that was slowly killing me and I hated that. I wanted to rid myself of it and on the nights it remained, I'd selfishly find other ways to rip it out of me."

I slowly lifted my head to see Bella's eyes fill with new tears, ones that ran down her cheeks, making me hate myself for hurting her with the truth. I knew it had to be said, but it sure as hell didn't make it any fucking easier.

"Other ways?" She whispered.

"Yea... Other ways. I was desperate to stop the hurt and filled my nights with alcohol and ..."

"Women?" She asked timidly. I kept my eyes on the floor now, unable to bring myself to look at her out of shame.

"Only one..."

Bella didn't speak, the silence between us deafening and unsettling.

"Bells... I -"

"Who? Who was she?"

"Leah Clearwater." I admitted, lifting my head to meet her eyes with my own.

"She... She was with you, too?" She asked, emotion raw in her tone.

"Leah came out to bring Paul back, to relieve him of being my keeper, so to speak. Sam sent her about two months before I came back home. I told her I was fine, but she claimed it was an order Sam had directly given her. She was far from thrilled about it at first. We fought constantly. It was hell for the both of us the first few weeks... Things changed one night. We were both wasted and it was driven by the hurt we both shared. I now understood how she felt after she had lost Sam. We... were both a mess. It meant nothing. To either of us. We both knew it was only physical. A way to forget for a while. To numb the pain. When we came back home months ago, we never spoke of it or repeated the same damn mistake again. Leah is really happy now with a guy she met in college. She's introduced him to Sue and Seth talks about how happy she is all the time. She's not home often so he fills us in every once in a while. He doesn't know about us and I swore to keep it that way, but Leah let her thoughts slip one afternoon when they were on a patrol run and Sam was there."

Bella's audible gasp stopped me. My eyes on hers and my throat feeling thick with emotion upon seeing the tears still running down her face. Seeing her like that made my own heart ache to fix it. I inwardly cringed and forced myself to tell her the rest when I saw her shake her head.

"We had only been home a week before it slipped and he found out. I was out on a separate patrol run with Quil and Embry when he found out. We were in my back yard when he came to find me there. He was furious with me. I was..." I paused, feeling the emotion take hold of me at the memory. My eyes burning with angry tears. "I wasn't myself anymore. Sam challenged me right there. Threatening to have me banned from La'Push land for what I'd done with Leah. Told me I had used her selfishly for my own needs. Maybe I had." I sighed, my hands shaking.

"I tried to walk away from him, but he wouldn't let it go. He told me as Alpha he had the absolute right and authority to ban me. I snapped... I was so damn angry and before I could stop myself, I lost all control. I let all the hate and all the anger consume in that moment with him. I took his power away from him. We fought until we couldn't anymore. Until he was cowering beneath me and I had stripped his title from him and took it as my own. He nearly died. I... almost... killed him. He lost all of who he was that day. He stopped even trying to phase after that. I took his spirit from him and I would give anything to go back, Bella. But I can't... I can't."

I slowly turned around to see Bella's eyes wide. Her hands coming up to her mouth, trying to silence the single sob that broke from her as she shook her head in disbelief. "No... It was an accident. You weren't yourself... You're -"

"A monster..." I finished for her, feeling the tears stream down my face in reflection to her own.

Bella crossed the garage, closing the distance between us and throwing herself into my arms.

"Don't say that, Jacob." She cried.

"It's true." I replied, tightening my hold on her.

"No it's not." She breathed, pulling back and locking eyes with me. "Please stop saying that. That's not who you are, Jacob. That mistake doesn't define you. It doesn't make you who you are. I left you here and didn't take any of your calls. I cut you out. I hurt you."

"Doesn't excuse what I did." I retorted, lowering my head in shame and gazing down to the floor.

"You're anything but a monster, Jacob. You're the best person I know. This mistake doesn't change how I see you. It doesn't change what you mean to me." She lifted my face to meet her gaze. "It doesn't change the fact that ... I love you."

I stared back at her in disbelief at the words that had just left her beautiful mouth.

"It's true. I love you, Jacob. All of you. Through the good and the bad. The past and the present."

I couldn't seem to make myself believe what she was saying. Hadn't she just heard all I'd done?

"How can you not think less of me?" I breathed in question to her, resting my forehead against hers.

"Because I know who you are. I know what kind of person you are. And I love that person."

I felt her hands reach down and take my own as I looked into her eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. "I have never loved anyone the way I love you, Bells. You're my everything. My best friend. My other half... " I paused, feeling the last few words threaten to choke me before I got them out. I swallowed hard and willed myself to tell her the last bit of truth I had been keeping from her. "You're my whole world. My heart... My soul... My imprint."


	8. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own any of The Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N: A HUGE thank you to all those who reviewed this story!**

**CHAPTER NINE**

**(BPOV)**

I heard the word come from his very mouth... "Imprint."

My breath caught in my throat, as my eyes frantically searched his and pulled nothing but solid truth from them. I blinked once... Twice... Three times, as I tore my eyes from him. My mind trying like hell to process what he had just said to me. I sucked in a sharp breath and even repeated the word back to him in a vague attempt to make myself believe it.

"Imprint?"

"My imprint." Jacob replied.

I pushed aside my nerves and met his gaze. Forcing myself to repeat the words again. "Imprint... Your imprint?"

I said the words slowly and deliberately. Reminding me of the way one would speak a foreign language for the first time. Seeming so unsure of how the words were supposed to be pronounced and trying repeatedly to make them sound right.

All of what he had confessed to me, ran like wildfire through my head as I stood there. All the missing pieces now fitting together.

"I'm your imprint." I stated in a more assured tone to him. My head finally seeming to align itself with the words he had just spoken to me.

I watched his own dark eyes search mine before he nodded to me. Seeing the nervousness in his expression now as we stood there. Like he was hanging on by a thread to hear me say something else. I blocked out the rest of the many jumbled distractions in my own head and focused on just him, on just this part of the conversation. The rest we could discuss later. Right now, my main concern was this and this alone.

"When? How long?"

"The first time I saw you in the meadow. When we killed Laurent."

"How? I mean you... you said... before..." I stumbled over my own words.

"I know. I lied."

"Why? Why didn't you tell me. Before -"

"Before your wedding day?" He finished for me.

I nodded frantically to him in reply. My throat feeling tight with emotion, as I thought of the hell he'd endured with me gone.

"I wanted you to choose me for me. For what we had. Should of had. Not out of obligation Bella, or because I imprinted on you. I wanted what we had to be real for you. Like it was for me."

I took his face in my hands, bringing his gaze back to mine. "It was real for me, Jacob."

"You left." He whispered back to me in an anguished tone.

"Because I... I knew what I felt for you was real. It wasn't something I could just get over. I ran away to Florida so I could figure out who I was and what I wanted."

"I wanted that for you Bella." He said fiercely. "I wanted you to find whatever it was you were looking for, honey. I couldn't tell you that I imprinted on you out of desperation to make you stay. It would have been wrong and selfish. It would have forced things-"

"No... No you're wrong." I interjected, unable to hold my tongue. "What we had back then was true for me. Not forced. Not because of some wolf magic. I never would have felt that way."

"I couldn't take the risk, Bells. Imprint be damned. I didn't want you to stay and choose me because of it. You'd told me yourself that what we had wasn't enough. After the newborn battle. That came from your mouth. Remember?"

I nodded to him in understanding. After how mixed up I had been, how could I blame him? I knew that it was now my turn to be brutally honest with him.

"I lied. I lied to you. To myself... To Edward."

I pulled myself out of his warm embrace and took a step back from him, trying to find the courage somewhere within myself to tell him the truth. The very same truth that had kept my mother and I awake many nights in Florida. The very same truth she pleaded with me to tell Jacob. Renee would try and convince me to call him and bare my soul, tell him everything, but I never had the heart to.

My argument to her would be that he could have moved on by now, and what right did I have to go running back after all that time? To interrupt whatever life he had laid for himself in my absence? I had no right at all. It would be selfish and unfair of me and I refused to do so back then. But now I knew I owed him that truth. He had bore all to me. It was now my turn to do the same.

I opened my mouth and sighed once, feeling a rush of nerves, as I glanced up to see his eyes meet mine. It was enough to give me the small glimmer of courage I needed. The uncertain look in his eyes was what I needed to see. It gave me just enough of a push to spill everything. Jacob deserved every damn ounce of truth I had.

"When I left for Jacksonville, I thought about you every day. I missed everything about you. Like the way your hand would find mine and the way you seemed to know me better than I even knew myself most days. Or the way your embrace felt." My eyes loomed with unshed tears as I continued. "I would miss the simple things, like the nickname you used for me, and the way your laughter and smile would light up the whole room. I wanted you. I wanted us. I wanted that vision I saw on the mountain when you kissed me to come true. I wanted to know what it felt like to be yours. Just yours. I would think of you and my heart would feel so empty, that I would pick up the phone and even go so far as to dial your number. I always hung up when it rang though. I was terrified you could answer and I would hear that voice... your voice... and I would come running back and selfishly interrupt whatever life you had here without me."

I wiped away the few tears that had fallen and met his stare to see his own eyes now clouded with unshed tears. The sight of them pushing me forward all the more. "Renee knows all about this. She knows how much I missed you. I told her. All the time. We would stay up late at night and talk about you and what you meant to me. She would let me vent and encourage me to call you. She even bought me a plane ticket back to Forks one afternoon, because she said that life was a blessing and you should never hide the kind of feelings I felt for you from someone. She used to say that our kind of love only comes around once in a lifetime and that I shouldn't squander it away. I truly thought you had moved on by then, and I couldn't bring myself to suddenly impose on that. I never asked Charlie about you when he called to check in. Not because I didn't care enough to ask, but because I was terrified of the answer. Call me selfish... I know I've called myself that plenty of times. But the thought alone of you with another was enough to stop me from ever asking him. I knew the possible answer could devastate me." I nervously shifted my weight and lifted my head to see his gaze still on me. The evidence that he'd heard what I had just said, were now streaming down his face. I swallowed hard and willed myself to tell him the rest. Maybe he would think I was crazy and if he did, that was okay. My mother had taught me to never leave the words of the heart unspoken, because they will only become louder as time goes on.

"Why didn't you-" He began, looking at me in disbelief.

"I knew if Charlie had told me you'd found someone else... moved on and that you were happy and..." I paused, feeling my heart beat wildly within my chest as I spoke. "... in love or engaged... married even ... with a baby on the way. I would of hated myself for never telling you that I wanted to be with you. That I loved you, Jacob. I would have never forgiven myself for not having the courage to tell you, that I wanted to be the one who grew old with you. I wanted to be the one to have a life with you. A home with you... Children with you."

The garage was briefly silent as he took in what I said. The only sound was that of the heavy rain on the roof. I continued on because he needed to hear it all. My mother had been right all along. "You were what I wanted, Jacob. I was always running from it. From us. From what we had and never ready before, but now I want this. More than anything, I want us. I want you... only you. So say again how you think I would've been with you out of obligation from the imprint, and I'll tell you how very wrong you are. Ask me why and I'll tell you again just how much I love you."

I took a step toward him and reached down to take his warm hands in my own as I spoke. Placing them right where they belonged... With mine.

"I ran from us and I shouldn't have. Now that you've told me everything that happened with Sam, I want you to know that it doesn't change who you are to me. Not now... Not ever. You're the same person who made me believe in myself again. The same person who selflessly pulled me out of that darkness back then. You're the same person who knows me best. The same person who has my heart." I reached up and placed one hand on his chest, just above his heart and met his gaze. "The same Jacob who makes me dare to dream. The same Jacob who can look at me from across the room and know what I'm thinking or what I'm feeling without the need for words. That person... that wonderful person is still right here and I want him... with me. I don't want to repeat the past. I want it left there where it should be. I should've never left like that. How could you worry that I would think you're a monster by telling me all this? I'm the one who left and never took your calls, or even tried to reach out to you when I should have. When you needed me most. I know you're ashamed of what you did, but Jacob you weren't yourself. You would never have done that to Sam if I had stayed. So what happened was just as much my fault. I know this might sound crazy, but I'm still proud of you."

"How... can you -"

"Because, while I wish things hadn't happened the way they did with Sam. Jacob, you were born to be Alpha. It's who you are. It's in your blood. The truth is, apart of me always wanted you to claim that as rightfully yours. What happened with Sam doesn't make me any less proud of who you are. You made a horrible mistake. I've made plenty. We can fix this... together."

"I've tried before..." He sighed heavily.

"We'll try again..." I replied.

"We?" He breathed to me.

"Yes we. If you'll have me? I'm sorry for all the heartache I caused you before. Can you forgive me?"

He was silent for a moment. His eyes searching my own.

"I'm really hoping you can because I can live without you, but I don't want to anymore. I never want to."

I felt my worry grow as his silence lingered on. I had been selfish with him for so long, that a large part of me was scared he wouldn't be so willing to accept my apology this time. I wanted more than anything for him to know how true each word I had spoken was.

"I want you with me... always. Imprint or no imprint, honey." He replied before his lips claimed my own. His kiss all consuming and hungry. Full of need and laced with desire. The kind of kiss that made you ache for each other. The same kind that makes you unsure of where your own desire ends and the rest of the world begins. His tongue invaded my mouth and I welcomed it, as I felt my body tingle. My mind going void of any other thought or worry. All fear erased. All doubt over turned and swept away. Leaving the past behind where it belonged.

I drew myself into him. Placing my hands in his hair, and pulling him closer to me. His strong arms pressing me to him, securing me there. I submitted to his embrace and heard a low moan come from him. The mere sound sending a rush of desire coursing through my veins. My body burning for him already.

The sound of a familiar voice yelling outside halted us both. Jacob breaking our kiss and glancing toward the door with irritation, as the voice yelled again, becoming more clear.

"Jacob." Embry shouted.

I moved away from him and tried to pull myself together just as Embry came casually strolling into the garage.

"Oh hey. There you are. I was just-" He stopped mid thought when his eyes fell on me.

"You what? What's up Emb?" Jake asked, his tone kind but clipped.

"Well I needed to ask you for the night off from patrol. Got a family dinner mom's freaking out about. Says I have to be there and my ass is grass if I'm not. Show a brother some mercy would ya?"

Jake ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Ugh... Yeah I might be able to convince Seth to go for you. But you'll owe him."

"Yea. Yea. I always come good for it!"

"Most of the time." Jake retorted in sarcasm.

"Whatever. Thanks Bro."

"Sure thing." Jake replied, his eyes roaming over me and making me feel as though my skin was on fire.

"I better get going... Don't wanna piss off mom twice in one night!" Embry joked, heading out with a wave.

I knew better than to think we had fooled him in the least. He surely must have noticed the tension there and picked up on what he had interrupted.

I glanced over to the door as he left, hearing it latch and his many footsteps leading away from the garage. Strong arms soon encircled my waist.

"So..." Jacob sighed. His tone low and husky at my ear. His lips barely grazing there. "Where were we?"

I felt his lips move to my neck, placing a soft kiss there. We had been keeping each other at arms length for the past few weeks and I had spent many nights pondering why, all the while drawing the wrong conclusions and convincing myself that it was somehow me. It was only now that I understood. I turned myself in his arms and voiced this to him.

"The last few weeks things have seemed different with us... physically? I understand the reason now."

"It was the only reason."

I nodded once to him and glanced down to the floor, feeling relieved to learn it had nothing to do with my unfounded fear of not being enough. A fear I had tried to ignore over these past few weeks and failed.

"The only reason." Jacob repeated.

"I know."

"I wanted you to know everything, Bells. And now you do. I made such a damn mess with Sam." He sighed. The regret clear in his voice.

"We can fix this. It may take time, but..." I paused mid sentence upon remembering that my time here was not intended to be permanent at first. I had never planned on moving back here. I had College and my life back in Florida.

"What?"

I shook my head, reigning in my thoughts and silently scrambling to get an answer.

"It's nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yea. I'll figure it out... later. It's just something I need to sort through."

I had learned a lot about who I was and where I wanted my life to go while in Florida. The person I was had changed and had grown into someone who discovered it was okay to be happy without Edward. That it was okay to pursue my dreams. The young woman I was two years ago had no idea which direction her life was headed. That was no longer the case. I had chosen to begin a new life in Florida and to further my education. I was pursuing a career in nursing. Something I had yet to share with Jacob and something I wasn't ready to quit. I had chosen to take a break from college, but I never intended it to be a permanent one.

"Doesn't seem like nothing, honey."

I lifted my head to see the worry clear on his face and knew that I needed to tell him where my thoughts were with all this.

"I was ... just thinking about College."

Jacob was silent when I replied. Though his silence spoke volumes to me. I made a mental note to tread lightly here.

"When I first left Jacksonville for Forks, I wasn't sure how long I'd -"

"Stay?" He sighed, releasing my hands and finishing the thought for me.

I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear. "Yea."

"I understand." He said in a low tone. One that was barely audible as he walked out around me.

"I'm in a nursing program."

I watched a small grin form when he turned and met my gaze. "You used to nearly pass out at the sight of blood..."

"Things change." I replied, offering him a small smile in return.

"I'm proud of you, honey. College is a big deal."

"Thanks."

The silence that lingered between us suddenly, was uncomfortable and unnerving at best. I could see where his thoughts were headed while he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his left hand clenching into a fist a few times and his eyes staying fixed on the floor.

I took a steadying breath and approached him. My heart heavy with worry as I reached for his hand.

"You're a big deal, too."

"You're freezing. Come inside with me?" He asked, reaching for the garage door when he noticed me shiver from the cold air.

I nodded to him and we made a run for the house. The rain still pouring down in buckets when we reached his front door.

"I'll put on some coffee?" He offered, heading into the kitchen.

"Yes please!"

I took off my coat and followed him. My mind still trying to process the evening and knowing there was still so much left to sort through myself. How could I go back to Jacksonville and leave such a huge piece of who I was behind? I couldn't put Jacob through that kind of torment again.

"Your dreams are important to me. What you want matters, Bella." I heard him say. His tone genuine and sincere.

I glanced up to see him turn his head, looking away from me. His Jaw visibly clenching and his throat flexing as he swallowed, revealing to me how hard that was for him to say. Knowing that it meant I might not stay here.

His words were nothing less than what I expected. Always selfless and never selfish. Even if it meant he would suffer the most in the end from my absence. I shook my head, growing tired of listening to my inner thoughts. Tired of second guessing myself. My dreams were important to me, but so was the man right in front of me. I closed the distance between us, and brazenly kissed him. My heart pounding nearly out of my chest when I felt his tongue meet mine, giving himself fully over to the kiss. He tasted earthy and warm. His lips smooth and soft when they pressed against mine, a brief tenderness in our kiss that was soon replaced with urgency and need. His strong hands sliding up over my hips and drawing me closer to him. Our clothes still wet from the rain and clinging to us. His tongue played with my own as my hands found their way into his hair, pulling him closer to me. This was the kind of hungry kiss I'd been missing. The kind that made you weak in the knees and your very body to tingle with anticipation. I had been trying to keep this longing for him at bay the best I could, simply because I sensed the difference in him over the past few weeks and couldn't understand why - until now. It had confused me and left me reeling at the possibility of their being another or thinking I wasn't enough for him. I now knew better.

I broke the kiss for air and met his heated gaze. I hadn't know a mans eyes could steal the breath from my body until this very moment with him. His eyes were dark with desire. Fierce and possessive.

I willingly and mindlessly brought my lips back to his. My own kiss now becoming more urgent. I was unable to stop myself from grabbing the hem of his drenched shirt. Jacob tore his lips from mine and swiftly pulled it over his head before reaching for me. His mouth claimed my own again. His soft lips and eager tongue savagely invading my mouth, dominating, tasting, insistent. I felt a pulse of warmth pool inside me as I moan against his lips. Without warning, he picked me up and I wrapped my legs securely around his waist, as he moved us to the table, laying me there. Everything in my body tightened when his mouth left mine and I felt his lips press against my neck, just above my collar bone. My breath hitching when I felt his fingers working at the buttons on my blouse. His breathing labored when he dipped his head and placed a trail of wet kisses down to my navel. His warm tongue touching my bare skin and making me gasp.

"Jacob"

I felt him finish the last button on my blouse and his strong hands run across the exposed skin on my stomach, making my body rise and fill with my arousal.

The sound of keys in the front door cause my eyes to open and my heart to nearly stop. I sat up, my hands already trying to button my shirt. Jacob sighed heavily, reaching for his own shirt and hurriedly slipping it on. He kissed me once. Sweetly on the lips and sat down in the chair. I scooted off the table and felt him pull me into his lap.

"Sorry..." He mouthed to me.

I shook my head in reply and placed a kiss on his cheek just as Billy came in through the front door.

"There you two are. Charlie and I have been calling you. I told your dad not to worry but you know him. Might wanna give the old man a call there, Bella."

"I will. Thanks Billy."

"You're welcome, dear. Well this old timer is off to sleep. The game ran later than I thought. Night you two."

"Night Dad." Jake replied, his fingertips skimming across my lower back.

"Yea... Good night Billy." I said to him.

He closed his bedroom door and I heard Jake sigh again. "Great timing, huh."

"Mmm-hmm."

I got up from his lap and reached for his hands, pulling him up from the chair. "It's okay."

"Want me to drive you home?" He asked, a hint of dread in his tone.

I shook my head and nervously glanced toward the hall where his room was before meeting his gaze.

He leaned in closer to me. His warm breath touching my lips when he spoke. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"If I wouldn't be imposing?"

"You're never imposing."

He graciously gave me an oversized T-shirt of his to sleep in and tossed my clothes in the dryer for me. I sat gingerly on the edge of his bed and called Charlie to let him know I was okay. My father cleared his throat a few times but seemed to want no further explanation upon the matter. I told him I would be home in the morning and he thanked me for calling to check in. I ended the call and waited for Jake to shower, lifting his T-shirt and inhaling his intoxicating scent. My mind wandering to places it shouldn't. Places it knew better but crossed boldly into anyway without remorse.

I glanced around his room, seeing how familiar it still was and noticing the few new pictures of us he had placed in wooden frames. I reached for the one on his night stand, remembering when it was taken at my house a few years ago. His hair was long in the photo and I was blushing like a fool there next to him. My father had taken the picture before the first movie we had gone to. The memory felt like a lifetime ago now as I stared at it, absentmindedly tracing the edges of the carved wooden frame with my fingertips. The detail exquisite and the craftsmanship divine and articulate.

I heard Jake stroll in and glanced up to see him standing there in nothing but low slung jeans. His hair still dripping wet and his toned chest glistening with droplets of water from the shower. I forced myself to look away from him and focus on the picture for my damn sanity's sake alone. Everything south of my waist tightened, sending delicious tingles through me at the sight of him. I sucked in a sharp breath and reminded myself over and over again that Billy laid asleep in the next room.

"Remember when this was taken?" I asked him, trying to concentrate on something else and placing the photo back on his night stand.

"Course I do." He chuckled, sitting down next to me on the bed.

"These frames... You made them didn't you?"

He nodded, reaching his hand up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"When?"

"A while ago. After you left."

"It's beautiful."

He shook his head. "Nothing compared to you."

I couldn't stop the small insecurity that rose from within me when I thought of how he'd been with Leah. Though it had been a few years since I'd seen her last, I clearly remembered her beauty and it only reminded me of how my rash decision to leave back then, had come at a high price. Despite the thought, I offered him a small smile and felt my cheeks flush with vibrant color in response to his compliment.

"Do you have to run patrol tomorrow?"

"Yea at daybreak. Bright and early."

"What's it like? Being Alpha now?" I asked him.

"It's a lot of responsibility and demanding. But... before I didn't think I wanted anything to do with being Alpha, but now I feel like it's just part of who I am. Like it's always been with me I just never took it as mine... you know?"

I nodded and watched his half smile fade as he sighed. His look changing from prideful to guilty. I reached over and took his hands in mine, turning myself to face him better.

"Don't be ashamed of how you feel in that role now. You have the right to be where you are and you know what happened with Sam was wrong. You've tried to atone for that, Jacob."

He was silent as he raised on of my hands to place a kiss there. His eyes meeting mine once and full of immense guilt.

"I wanna fix it." He sighed heavily, getting up and pacing a few times in front of me. "I just don't know how."

"Do the two of you ever speak? At all?"

He shook his head in response and glanced out his bedroom window into the night.

"Never?"

"Not since it happened. Emily's tried more times than I can count to get us in the same room so we can hash this out, but Sam refuses to try. He's not the same person anymore, Bella. I took something from him that defined who he was for a long time. He has a right to be pissed at me. If the tables were turned... I would be just as angry."

"There has to be some way..." I sighed, mulling this over in my head and trying to find a solution. "He seems to be moving on in some way. I mean, they're expecting so..."

Jacob shot me a look that said otherwise and immediately made me swallow any further response.

"Emily thinks starting the family he's always wanted will bring him out of this. But he drinks. All the time. And he's a real ass to anyone in the pack now. Embry went over to his house a few months ago. He was trying to patch things up one night after patrol. Things didn't exactly go well."

My heart tore to hear him speak of the mess things had become between the two of them. Blood or not, they were like family and I desperately wanted to help them repair what was broken.

"You tired?" He asked, returning to the bed.

"Not really." I admitted. My eyes shamelessly wandering over his bare torso, as I bit my bottom lip nervously and met his gaze. His own eyes wandering to my mouth briefly. I was beginning to seriously doubt my self control when he leaned in and grazed his thumb across my bottom lip.

"You're nervous." He stated in a husky tone, an electric thrill thrumming through me from the sound of it. His eyes meeting mine with a glowing look of lust in them.

Holy Hell. That Look. The one that had my insides liquefying.

I moved myself closer to him and whispered. "You've always made me nervous." My lips brushing lightly against his once. I was no longer able to think about anything else but the desire I had for him. It was heavy and palpable. Something I had never experienced.

"Soon?" He whispered back.

I nodded in reply and knew what he meant without need for explanation.

"Soon." I agreed.

"Till then..." Jake sighed, pulling the covers back and motioning for me.

I climbed in and laid my head on his chest, feeling his arms securely around me. My eyes soon growing heavy as my fingertips trailed across his toned stomach. Feeling his warmth and the contentedness that his closeness provided me like no other.

"I love you, honey." I heard him whisper to me before I faded out. I grinned and nestled further into him.

"I love you too, Jacob."


	9. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER TEN**

**(JACOBS POV)**

I was startled awake by the sound of a piercing howl. My eyes shot open and I instinctively went to get up, only to stop short when I remembered I had an angel fast asleep next to me. Her head still resting on my chest. I cursed under my breath when I heard the loud howl come again. Piercing it's way into the night. It's urgency not lost on me.

I moved myself slowly out from under her. She stirred once before turning over and nestling herself further into my covers. I kissed her on the cheek before making a mad run out of the house and for the woods. Only stopping long enough to strip off my jeans and phase.

My paws hit the wet forest floor and dug in, running with a speed like fire. Quils thoughts soon connecting with my own.

_"We have a problem. Picked up on a trail about two miles from here. It's potent and unfamiliar. Likely more than one."_

_"Where's the others?"_

_"Paul, Seth, Colin and Brady are at the lumber yard waiting for you."_

I came up fast from behind him and soon matched him stride for stride as we closed in on them. The many shouts from the group cramming together in my head and giving me a massive migraine in the process. One of the few down sides of being so privy to their thoughts. We broke free from the woods and joined them. Their heads snapping up when I approached.

"_Quil filled me in and told me none of you recognize the scent? Possibly more than one?"_

_"Yeah well we would have been just fine if these dip shits didn't lag behind!" _Paul barked in accusation_._

_"Oh SHUT UP Paul!" _Seth retorted loudly to him_._

_"No you shut the hell up!"_

_"For shit's sake would the both of you shut it! That's enough."_ I ordered and saw them grow instantly silent_. "You made an extra perimeter run, right Seth?"_

_"Yea and came up empty. The trail vanished when we reached the river. Been cold since."_

_"And you're sure you didn't recognize it?"_

_"Damn sure."_ He replied with a huff_._

_"There's no way it's a Cullen? Maybe it's been so long we wouldn't pick it up right off?" _Colin suggested, making the fur on the back of my neck stand up_._

_"HA!" _Paul laughed_. "Give me a fucking break. Trust me kid, you don't forget a stench like that."_

_"It was just a suggestion. Jeez Paul don't be such a jackass, man." _Seth added in defense of Colin.

_"You got a problem?"_ Paul retorted, a menacing growl coming from him when he stepped up to Seth_._

_"No, but it sure as hell seems you do! It was your fault we lost the trail in the first place. You just gotta be a show off and run ahead, taking the unmarked route."_

Paul moved toward Seth. His ears laid back in anger as he stalked forward in brooding fashion.

I moved in front of Seth and nudged Paul backwards_. "Back off Paul and cut the attitude. Next time, you stick to the marked route. It's not a race. You work as a team. You never know, it just might save your ass one day if you listen to Seth."_ I ordered, before turning and addressing the others.

"_Keep a close watch for the rest of the night and don't be caught off guard. If they come back, and they will, we need to be ready. I'll meet you here at daybreak with Embry to take over. If anything comes up in the mean time, you signal for me immediately. Got it?"_

They all nodded to me in unison. Paul brushing roughly into Seth as he headed back for the woods. His attitude lately was shitty to say the least. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he'd really get out of line, and I'd have to remind him where the hell his place was and how to show some respect. He was a hot head and it got him in more trouble than good. I watched the others turn and leave, noticing Seth had lingered back.

_"Hey Jake?"_

_"Yea?"_

_"Im glad Bella came back home. Im happy for you." He replied in genuine tone._

_"Thanks Seth. Do me a favor and keep Paul straight tonight?"_

_"I'll do my best."_ He chuckled and ran to catch the others.

I listened to their chatter fade out from my mind. Tuning into the sounds of the night as I stood there. My senses on high alert and my ears tuned in to hear every damn twitch the forest made.

I soon took off running back for the house. My strides long and my speed quick. I wanted to get back to holding the most precious thing in this world to me, and wasted no more time in doing so. I phased back and pulled on my jeans when I reached the border of the trees that lined my back yard. The many sounds of the night beautiful and unique, but none more than the sound of Bella's heartbeat coming from inside my house.

I paused briefly when I reached the front door and just listened to it. Unable to stop the warmth that spread throughout my body in response. Every beat was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard and one that was forever tied to my own.

I carefully opened the front door and closed it quietly behind me in hopes I wouldn't wake her or my father. I stepped into my room to see her still sound asleep. Her beauty breathtaking. Her long mahogany hair splayed out on my pillow and her gorgeous face so peaceful while she slept. I crossed the room and crawled back in bed with her, seeing her stir and turn over, as I wrapped my arm around her waist and drew her body into mine. My hand coming to rest on her stomach. I breathed in her scent and closed my eyes, feeling the most content I had in a long time. My heart warming with a sense of peace I could not describe. It was like my soul had finally found the shelter it needed after wandering so long without her.

I awoke a few short hours later to feel Bella's fingertips grazing lightly across my chest. I opened my eyes to see her watching me while I slept.

"You're awake this early?" I asked, my tone barely above a whisper.

She nodded, her eyes meeting my own and a timid smile hinting to form on her beautiful mouth.

"What?" I asked.

"I just like watching you sleep."

"Must be fascinating?" I chuckled.

"It is, believe it or not. Reminds me of a younger you. How peaceful you look."

"Really?"

"Yes really. Is that so hard to believe?" She giggled, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"No. I do the same thing with you. I could watch you sleep for hours." I replied.

"You could?"

"Mmm - Hmm."

"Are you leaving soon for patrol?" She asked.

I glanced over to see the time was nearly 3:30 in the morning. "Yeah... Soon..."

"Would it be selfish for me to say I don't want you to go?" She asked in a whisper. Her fingertips still tracing unknown patterns along my torso. The simple touch enough to make me seriously consider pulling her on top of me, and giving in to the hot desire thrumming through my veins for her.

If only we were alone...

"No it wouldn't. Trust me, I want to stay."

She sat up and glanced down to me. Her look growing serious suddenly. "I think I'll go see Sam today?"

I sat up with her, cautioning in strong protest. "Bells..."

"I'll be fine, Jacob. Besides... I told Emily we would catch up soon over coffee and I should make good on that."

I opened my mouth to protest again, but was silenced by her kiss. The feel of her lips on mine inviting, sensual and tantalizing. Making it damn near impossible for my hands not to wander. I fought the urge and broke the kiss.

"Can you promise me you'll be careful if Sam's there?" I asked of her. "I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt you, but he's not the same Sam you knew from before, Bells."

"I promise. Okay?"

"Okay." I replied, unable to hide the worry from my tone.

Sam was still a good man, but where his head was these days, left me less than comfortable with the idea of Bella being close to him, and taking the chance of her getting caught in the crossfire if he should lose his shit again. Which he had done in front of Emily on more than one occasion. It made me concerned to say the least. He hadn't phased once since that night, when I took Alpha away from him, but that didn't make him any less dangerous in my mind.

"I have to call Renee today, too. Haven't talked to her much since I got back home. She emailed me a few days ago to let me know I had some College forms that came from the university for me in the mail. She was gonna send them to me. So I should check on that."

I tried like hell to push down the sense of overwhelming fear and apprehension that tried to close itself in around me when she spoke of Florida. The mere mention of it sent unwanted images of her boarding a plane back to Jacksonville running through my head. Bella took notice of my silence and reached her hand up to touch my cheek with the backs of her fingertips.

"I know that look, Jacob."

I remained silent, unable to deny what she sensed because she was dead on. I hated to even think about her ever leaving again. I knew all too well how fucking painful that kind of heartache was. So painful, it sent my insides screaming at just the thought of her not being within reaching distance of me.

She rose up on her knees on the bed, shifting her weight and placing herself in front of me so we were face to face. Her hands reaching for both of mine and lacing our fingers together as she straddled me. Placing herself in my lap while her eyes came to rest on my own. I felt myself momentarily shudder at her closeness and position when she spoke.

"I'm not going anywhere." She whispered, leaning in and resting her forehead against mine. "Ever again."

I closed my eyes and listened to the steady beating of her heart. Her words resonating deep within to the depths of who I was.

"You're dreams matter, honey." I replied in a low tone, wishing I could just shut the hell up and be selfish. But her future and happiness meant so much more to me than even my own. I would willingly give up whatever she needed me to so she could have it.

"You matter, Jacob. We... We matter now." I felt her pull back and opened my eyes to meet her gaze. "You're still just as selfless as you ever were. That hasn't changed."

"It's what you do for those you love..."

"You're right and I love you. I think it's my turn to be selfless. Don't you?" She asked.

"I want you happy, sweetheart."

"I'm pretty happy right now..." She whispered against my lips.

My eyes wandered to that beautiful mouth, seeing her nervously bite down on her bottom lip.

"I mean down the road."

"I know what you meant." She sighed, her look changing from light hearted to serious. I soon heard my father start the coffee in the kitchen and the clatter of dishes from him searching for his mug. The same way he did each and every morning.

"I gotta get going, honey."

"Can we have breakfast together before you leave for patrol?"

"You're not still tired. It's barely dawn?" I replied, feeling her shift her weight off me and reluctantly releasing my hold on her.

"I'm not that tired. Come on... I'll cook for you and Billy? My treat?"

"Sounds good to me." I replied with a wink to her as she gathered her clothes.

"I'll get busy..."

She slipped out of my room and I threw on a clean change of clothes before meeting them in the kitchen. Bella already busying herself with whipping up pancake batter and digging out pots and pans. My father gave me a broad smile when I sat down at the table with him.

"Seems we've got a chef in our presence this morning there son?" He hinted with a knowing wink.

"Seems so." I replied, taking a sip of hot coffee.

"I heard you leave in the night. Everything okay with the pack?" He asked.

I saw Bella stop stirring the pancake batter and turn to meet my stare. "Paul and Seth picked up on a trail with Colin last night. Went cold though."

I kept my eyes on Bella as she went back to cooking. Noticing her silence on the matter and mentally kicking myself for not simply telling her already. After everything we'd discussed last night, the last thing I wanted her to think was that I may be keeping her in the dark again. Not about anything.

Billy shot me a worried glance when the silence fell around us, taking note of my own concerned expression. I wasn't used to including anyone but my father in pack business before Bella came home. It was something I needed to remember. She was too important to me to screw up our trust. I had to work on this.

Bella served breakfast with a smile on her face nonetheless, and we all enjoyed the meal together. It was a welcome change for my father and I. One that I could certainly get used to in the future.

"You be careful out there today son." My father said when I got ready to leave.

"Always dad."

"Bella dear, as always your cooking was delightful. Thank you for breakfast."

I watched her lean down and hug my father in return. "You're welcome. We'll do it again soon, Billy?"

"Anytime dear... Anytime."

She released him and slipped on her jacket by the front door, retrieving her truck keys and waiting there for me.

"You need anything while I'm gone, dad?"

"No my boy. Your old man will be just fine but thanks."

"Okay, I'll see you after patrol for dinner."

"Sure thing." He replied to me with a wave of his hand, as I left with Bella.

My hand took hers when we reached her truck. The air cold and damp around us.

"Thank you for breakfast. It was great and dad loves having you around. He's not the only one."

She stepped closer to me, releasing my hand and hugging me. "I love being here with you. Be careful out there, today."

"I will. You be careful with Sam. Please?"

"Promise." She replied, leaning up on her tip toes and bringing her lips to mine. The kiss soft and full of underlying desire that neither one of us could delve into right now. I felt her tongue barely brush mine, beckoning me to deepen the kiss further. Her hands coming up to cradle my face and my own now roaming her hips. The kiss becoming less soft and more urgent, as my hands moved from her hips to the hem of her jacket, slipping them up under her shirt to touch her beautiful bare skin. The soft moan that it evoked from her, had me pressing her body tight against my own. She molded to me. The feel of her against me was intoxicating and I knew I had to pry myself away from her, or I would take her right now against the truck. A show I'm sure my father, nor the neighbors wanted to bare witness to.

"I love you..." I sighed against her lips, forcing myself to stop.

"I love you too."

I was going to need to keep my mind on anything but her today, or the pack would be stuck listening to how much I wanted her all day.

She pulled back from me with one last kiss and headed home. I watched her drive off and stood there trying to focus on something other than the feel of her lips on mine. Her tongue moving with my own. The way her soft skin felt under my hands or the way she would sigh my name.

Fuck...

Yeah getting through the day without thinking of Bella was already proving to be damn near impossible. By the evening, I was sure Embry would want to kill me and he probably wouldn't be the only one. I could only hope the eight hours of patrol would be over with soon enough. I had to think of a way to get her alone. To somewhere we wouldn't be interrupted and soon... Real soon.

**A/N: I have to say THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE who read and reviewed this story. Each of them mean a lot to me. You guys are so awesome. I will be updating again soon! Till then... Happy Reading!**


	10. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

I've heard it said before that love can make you do crazy things. That the right kind of love can give you courage when you needed it the most. I was aware of this when my truck pulled into Sam and Emily's driveway. The cold frost of the morning still securing its way to everything. The tree's branches becoming void of the Fall foliage from before, and now weighed down with a thin layer of Winter's impending promise. I nervously fidgeted with the keys still lingering there in the ignition, a small swell of worry settling itself heavily within my stomach when I reached my hand slightly over to open my truck door.

To some, they may argue that this wasn't my fight at all. That the events between Sam and Jacob were wolf driven and pack matters, but I strongly felt this was just as much my fight as it was theirs. Jacob was one of the best men I knew and I had to find a way to fix this. I could see just how much the situation with Sam bothered him and that factor alone was enough to make me take some kind of action.

I pushed open the door and drew in a steadying breath as I closed it and made my way to their quant home. I raised my hand to knock once and didn't have to wait long for Emily to answer it. She threw it open with a welcoming grin for me.

"There you are. I'm so glad you dropped by. Please come in?" She gestured to me with a wave of her hand.

I stepped in and was surrounded with the scent of homemade cookies. My stomach reminding me it had been a while since I'd tasted her cooking and had indeed greatly missed it. While my mother always provided food for me when I lived with her in Jacksonville, she would tell you herself that she was no four star chef and had been known to burn water in her day. Emily held out the plate of cookies to me, kindly offering me one. I took two with a smile and eagerly returned it.

"Want some milk?" She asked.

"Yes please!" I replied. My eyes roaming over the many framed photos that rested on the far end of the table. Sadness welling up in me when my eyes fell on the one of Jacob with Sam. Both of them wearing a wide smile. There were even some of the whole pack together. All of them laughing at what appeared to be a bonfire of some sort. I squinted to see Emily and Sam's wedding photo in the middle. A smile forming on my lips from the look of genuine happiness they wore.

"Here you go." Emily sighed, setting the tall glass of milk in front of me.

"Thanks."

"So instead of our coffee get together, we'll have to settle for milk and cookies?" She asked with a hint of laughter, her hands coming to rest in maternal fashion over her round belly.

"Oh... that's okay. I prefer milk and cookies anyway." I laughed along with her.

"I'm really glad you came by." She said, her laugher fading as she rested her hand on top of mine. "I was worried... you know with everything that's happened... that maybe things would be different with us? Sam told me he did stop by and apologize, but he also mentioned Jake and Billy showed up so..."

"Yea." I sighed heavily, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze when I saw the tears glisten there in her eyes. The sight of them making my heart clench painfully. "I'm sorry for that. They were early and I wish we'd had more time to talk, but Jake told me everything that night ... All of it."

Emily's eyes caught mine. "He did?"

"Yes. I know about the imprint and ..." I paused, feeling emotion overwhelm me briefly. "I know what he went through when I left."

"You didn't know about the imprint when you left, Bella." Emily reassured me.

"I should have called him. I just dropped out of his life. It was thoughtless and selfish of me."

Emily offered me a tissue when she saw a tear fall. Her genuine concern evident in the gesture.

"Bella you made a choice that was best for you at the time. You had to figure things out and if Jacksonville was where you could do that, then you shouldn't feel guilty for it. Jake wouldn't want you to bare that burden by yourself. He chose not to tell you. How could you have known? Things were really hard for a while, but -" She paused and quickly adverted her eyes from mine, her gaze going to the framed pictures, gingerly picking up the one of Jake and Sam and holding it delicately in her hands. "Jacob didn't mean to do what he did. He is still very much like family to me and I miss him around here. Things feel out of place now."

I watched her fingertips trace the edge of the frame before she placed it back and rose to her feet, offering me some tea. I accepted her offer and had a hard time taking my own eyes off that picture. My vision growing cloudy from unshed tears. I mentally kicked myself for the hundredth damn time for leaving the way I did. I greatly feared now that the damage I had caused was irreparable.

Emily soon returned and sat down with a tray containing two hot cups of tea. She handed one to me as she spoke.

"I think it's best you know about the imprint. It's a powerful connection. The friendship and love you shared with Jacob before will now only intensify. I don't think there's enough wolf magic out there to ever mess with the bond you two have."

I sipped the honey tea, feeling the warmth coat my throat and ease away some of the morning chill from me. "I just feel awful. I want to help fix this. I really do."

"I know you do and I love you for it, but Sam is so different now. We uh... struggle..." She said, her eyes downcast.

"Struggle?" I questioned, feeling the unease of her words surround me.

"Right after it happened, I was so sick with worry for him. It took him weeks to heal and the process of it was... agonizing to watch. He would take a lot of his anger out on me. We'd fight over stupid things all the time. Like who forgot to put gas in the truck and it always ended the same way, with him storming out and taking off. I knew his drinking was out of hand when Jacob showed up one night with Embry. Who had a pretty good shiner on his left eye. Jake told me Embry had confronted him, trying to talk him into making a mends and Sam didn't want to hear of it. He refused to listen to Embry and when he pushed the issue further, Sam got pissed and punched him."

I listened to the emotion in her tone and moved my chair next to hers, wrapping an arm around her when she continued. "Jacob was real good about it though, you know? He came back after patrol ended that night with the pack and told me how sorry he was for everything. His words meant a lot to hear. He told me not to give up and to remember this wasn't the real Sam. That was seven months ago." She cried, her hand going to her stomach. "I wanted us to start the family he always wanted. In hopes it would help him see what really mattered, and pull him out of this. But I think I've just made things worse. He was happy at first. Went with me to every prenatal appointment, but now he won't go. Stopped going two months ago. Says he'll be nothing but a disappointment to our son. That he's no longer anything to be proud of."

My heart broke for her and I felt my own tears stream down my face. Emily's words coming out in gasps now. "Jacob was nice enough to come by and check in every few weeks and he even offered to go with me when Sam didn't. I told him not to worry about it, but you of all people know how selfless he can be. He took me to my last two appointments and made me promise to call him or Billy if I needed anything. I haven't told Sam..."

I hugged her and tried not to allow my own emotion to overwhelm me, but hearing her tell me how strained things were between them now, made that difficult to do. The fact that Jacob had stepped up and taken her to the appointments in Sam's absence lingered there in my mind. It made my very heart swell with pride for the kind of man he was. For the kind of man he always had been.

"We're gonna fix this, Emily. I promise..." I whispered reassuringly to her when she released me. Her eyes red rimmed.

"I'm not sure what to do for him anymore. The man I love is not the person who lives here now." She shook her head slowly, wiping away her tears. "He's gone... "

I took her hands in mine. "We're gonna try like hell to get him back. Somehow..."

She was kind enough to send me with a whole bag of freshly baked cookies for the road. Asking me to give some to Jake and Billy. She even sent me some for Charlie. Her kindness astounded me and made me feel blessed to call her my friend. I thanked her for the afternoon and gave her one last hug before we parted ways and I left for home.

The drive there was full of distractions for me. My thoughts scrambling over my conversation with Emily, mulling it over at every stop light and getting jolted back to reality when I heard the angry horns come from behind me. My adequate distractions proving to be a road hazard. I was nearly home when my cell phone rang loudly beside me, startling me some as I turned onto my street. I saw it was Charlie and quickly retrieved it from the passenger side, answering on the fourth ring.

"Hey dad."

"Hey you. Just checking in. Are we doing dinner with Jake and Billy tonight?"

"Yea... I think that's still the plan." I replied and shut off the truck, seeing his cruiser missing. "I'm just getting home now, so I can make something."

"Oh, don't worry about fussing over dinner. I should be home soon. I'll stop and grab some pizza. Listen uh... Jake wouldn't happen to be with you, would he?"

"No... why?" I asked, taking note to the sudden change in Charlie's tone.

"Well uh..." He cleared his throat. "I was hoping he would be... We uh... Picked up Sam Uley for a drunk and disorderly charge about an hour ago. I thought it would be best to have a friend bail him out. I really don't want to call his wife. Her being expecting and all."

My stomach knotted as I thought of how upset this would make Emily. "When can he be bailed out?"

"Oh anytime really. First offense. Hefty fine though." Charlie replied as I switched the keys in the ignition, starting my truck again and backing out of the driveway.

"I think Jake's working late..." I lied well knowing he couldn't be reached for at least another hour and how futile it was for my father to keep trying.

"Well then-"

"You know dad, I can get him. I mean, Sam's important to Jake so I'll be in to bail him out and run him home."

The momentary silence on the other end of the line, signaled to me Charlie's less than thrilled opinion of the idea.

"Are you sure, Bella?" He cautioned in a very cop like tone.

"Yea. I'll be right there." I replied and ended the call as I drove through town.

I knew Jake wouldn't be too thrilled with this either, but seeing Emily like that today had really bothered me. She was dealing with enough right now. The least I could do was bail him out and take him home so she wouldn't be worried.

I arrived at the police station a short time later and was greeted at the front desk by my father. Who already had Sam at his side still in cuffs. The sight of it making me feel all the more worse.

"Bella?" Sam questioned. His eyes glossy and his demeanor defeated. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm bailing you out." I said, reaching in my pocket for my debit card and handing it to the bail bondsman. My father slowly took the metal cuffs off him. His eyebrow raised in disapproval and suspicion.

Sam took a few steps toward me, still wobbly on his feet. "Does Jake know you're here bailing me out?" He half whispered, beer strong on his breath. I shook my head in response, and took my debit card back from the woman behind the desk when she offered it to me.

"I expect you to be careful, Bella. And Sam... I like you and all but don't think I won't haul your drunk ass right back in here tonight if I hear of you giving her any damn trouble on the ride back." Charlie sternly warned. "I mean it."

Sam simply nodded as we turned to go. "We'll be okay. I'll see you at home in a bit. Love you." I said to Charlie, kissing him once on the cheek before we left the building. He stepped outside with us into the cold night air, watching us closely when I helped Sam into the passenger side of my truck.

"You didn't have to -"

"Yes I did." I interjected. Handing him the seat belt and shutting the door. I waved to my father, who stood firmly by the stations entrance with his arms crossed over his chest, an irritated look on his face. He waved back and headed inside when he saw me start the truck.

I glanced over to my phone, seeing Jacob had called me twice in the last five minutes. I nervously bit down on my bottom lip and hoped he would understand this when I saw him later.

"You're not going to tell him are you?" Sam asked, an edge to his tone now.

I hit the gas and pulled out onto the main road. "Tell him what? That you're drunk?"

"No... that you bailed me out."

I cleared my throat and ran a nervous hand through my hair. "He'll understand."

"Like hell." Sam retorted.

I glanced over to him, seeing him shake his head. I tried to bite my tongue but couldn't. "He cares for you."

Sam whipped his head in my direction sharply. His eyes dark, angry, and brooding when he spoke. "The fuck he does."

I returned my focus to the road and tried to remember that this wasn't the real Sam. This was the drunk ass and arrogant as hell Sam.

"You're wrong." I stated flatly.

"You're delusional."

I bit back my remark and turned the radio on to distract me from this seemingly pointless conversation.

"You listen to rock?" He scoffed.

"I listen to all kinds of music."

"Didn't know you were a fan of it."

"I'm sure there's a lot you don't know about me."

"I know you almost married a fucking leech." He spat back in reply.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel in response. My mind inadvertently going back to the day I left Edward at the alter and ran to my mothers house in Jacksonville..

"I'm not gonna fight with you, Sam. You're drunk and-"

"And what!" He yelled in reply.

"And not yourself."

"How the hell do you know what I am? Who I am?"

"I remember." I stated to him, raising my tone an octave in defense.

"Yea... I fucking remember, too. I remember you being fickle and unsure of what, or should I say who, you wanted. So you strung Jacob along and then tossed his ass aside when Mr. Wonderful came back in town."

His remarks were cold and cruel, but they were true nonetheless. I chose to bite my tongue.

"So tell me Bella, who will it be this time around? Is Edward lurking around some damn corner. Ready to pop back in and swoop you off for another engagement? Maybe you'll at least have the decency to call Jacob this time?" He mocked bitterly.

Despite the raw emotion I felt beginning to creep its way up my throat, I remained silent and continued driving him home. My heart already going out to Emily.

"You got nothin' to say? No response?"

I stole a glance in his direction to see his look menacing and down right dark. I hit the brakes while at a stop light and kept his stare a few more fleeting moments. My reply to him unexpected.

"I'm sorry." I said, turning my attention back to the red light ahead.

He went silent at this. The rest of the ride was eerily and profoundly quiet. He spoke not one word when we pulled up to his house. Emily coming out onto the porch when she saw me pull up. He went to get out and I reached for his arm.

"You have a wife who loves you in a way that doesn't hardly exist anymore. Remember it's her whose heart you're breaking each and every time you do this." I removed my hand and saw some of his hardened exterior slip, but it was brief and short lived. He got out and slammed the door behind him. My eyes watching him as he marched up over the porch and entered the house with Emily. She waved to me and I waved back before leaving. My heart heavy as I drove away.

By the time I reached my house. Jake, Billy and my father were already there. Billy's truck parked directly behind Charlie's cruiser. I wearily climbed out, grabbing the bag of cookies along the way and sighed in relief to be home. I paused by my truck when I saw Jacob emerge from the house. His look worried when he reached me. I thought back to what Emily had told me about him. How very selfless he'd been despite the situation with Sam and felt the swell of pride return from before.

I took a few steps forward and hugged him fiercely and felt him eagerly return the embrace. "I love you." I said to him, tightening my hold on him.

"I love you, too honey."

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late." I replied, releasing him and offering the baked goods Emily had sent. Jake smiled and took them from me. His hand reaching for mine.

"Everything went ok?" He asked when we reached my front door. I swallowed hard and deflected his attempt to make eye contact, growing weary at what his response would be and realizing that my father clearly hadn't mentioned a word of it to him yet. I moved closer to him, deliberately steeling myself to tell him the truth, because I felt there was no room for deception between us anymore.

"I'm late because I... took Sam home."

I watched Jacobs expression go from virtually carefree to immense concern.

"What?" He breathed. "By yourself?"

"I know you're probably upset with me, but -"

His kiss cut me off. The gesture sweet and unexpected but certainly welcomed. He pulled back slightly. His lips lingering a mere breath away from mine. "I'm not upset with you. I just worry. There's a difference, honey. What happened?"

I tore my attention away from his mouth and met his gaze. "Charlie called me when I first got home and told me he was looking for you because Sam had been arrested for being drunk and disorderly earlier tonight. I knew you wouldn't be back yet, so I drove in town and bailed him out. I just finished dropping him off. He's with Emily now."

"You paid his bail?"

"Yea..."

"I should've been there. Was he rude?" He asked. His eyes searching mine and pulling every ounce of truth from them before I even had to open my mouth. "I'll pay you back. Every cent."

I shook my head in protest. "No, it's okay. He's home now and at least Emily won't be worried. She doesn't need that right now. Don't worry about the money."

"I don't want you to feel responsible for cleaning up my mess."

I raised my hands to his face, cupping his cheeks. "Our mess. Remember... "

He nodded and kissed me on the forehead before holding the front door open for me.

Billy greeted me with a wide grin and soon spotted the cookies in Jake's hand. "I see Emily sent something home with you."

"She did and she said to be sure you all enjoyed them." I replied, seeing Jake hand the bag to his father with a chuckle.

Charlie dug into them as well and was a third cookie down before I had time to even blink. Jacob and I retreated to the kitchen and fetched out plates for the pizza. I was filling glasses with ice when I noticed how very quiet Jake was now being. His look concentrated and his brow furrowed with worry. I set the glasses on the table and approached him as he casually leaned against the counter.

"Where are you?" I asked him in a soft tone, placing myself directly in front of him.

"Sorry honey." He replied, wrapping me up in a hug. I took comfort in his embrace and felt his hands roam over my back.

"Did patrol go okay?" I questioned.

"For the most part."

I leaned up on my tip toes and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. Bringing my lips close to his ear. "Are you staying with me tonight?"

His eyes met mine when I pulled back as he mouthed his reply. "Always."

He reached his hand up and placed it under my chin, drawing my lips to his for another kiss. It was sensual, alluring and full of promise for things to come. Much to my dismay, he soon broke our kiss. He lips still so near to mine. His warm breath brushing them with every word he whispered.

"Soon." He breathed against them.

I had never known one word could evoke such desire from me. The one simple word causing my heart to beat fast and an electric thrill to thrum through me at the sound of his husky whisper.

"Soon." My voice barely audible when I reply, seeing his eyes glow with lust.

My heartbeat was erratic and the small smile that tugged at the corners of Jacobs mouth made me know he was surely paying close attention to his affect on me.


	11. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**(JPOV)**

Patrol had run longer than expected and seemed to tediously tick by at an agonizingly slow pace. The day dragging on instead of flying by the way I hoped it would. The first shift was bearable but the second and third shift sucked. Paul had taken over for Embry, Brady and Collin.

Seth normally took second shift for mid day patrol runs with Paul, but he was absent from it on count of having a dentist appointment. It had slipped my mind that he would be missing until I reached the lumber yard and did a head count.

_"Shit..."_

_"What?" _Paul replied._ "Where the hell is Seth?"_

_"He's not running patrol today. I forgot Colin is taking his shift later. I'm covering the first half."_

_"Lucky shit. That's the second time in two weeks he's ducked out. What gives?"_

_"Dentist appointment with Sue."_ I replied.

_"Whatever..." _He huffed angrily.

_"So when do you need me back to cover?" _Collin asked.

_"Around three. Thanks for taking some of Seth's run."_

_"No problem. See you later." _He replied when he turned to head away from us. Brady trailing fast behind him.

I knew the day was headed south fast, shortly after we had run the border. Paul's thoughts loud and angry when we stopped by the river for a drink.

"_Seth needs to step up more. You take it easy on him a lot."_

I snapped my head up, his irritating comment catching my attention. _"What the hell are you talking about? He pulls his weight around here. You're just pissed about having to get your ass outta bed earlier. It's one day Paul. Deal with it."  
_

_"You take it easy on him cause you banged Leah. It's favoritism and it's BULLSHIT." _He huffed_._

I caught his eyes with mine and stalked toward him. My patience slipping with his blatant disrespect lately. "_Not that I owe you any kind of explanation, but Seth covered for you three times last month. All because you were too fucking hung over to see straight! So that's a load of shit and you know it. Don't push it, Paul."_

_"Or what?" _He snapped, stepping up to me.

_"Or I'll remind you where your place is."_ I sharply countered.

He kept his brooding stance a bit longer before backing up a few steps, and going to the river for another drink. I watched him intently as he went, feeling the superior spirit loom over me.

Paul hadn't been the same since I'd come back home months ago. He was known for his cocky comments and occasional vague arrogance, but this level of hostility and disrespect was at a new low. We had formed a better bond when he took off with me but when shit went south with Sam, that drastically changed. I can't say that I blame him for being angry with me. What I had done was wrong and Paul didn't like following anybody's orders. That was just the way he was.

The rest of the run went better, simply because he shut his arrogant mouth along the way. Keeping his thoughts quiet. When we reached the town line toward the evening, Paul ended his silence.

"_You don't get it do you?"_

_"Get what?" I replied, a clear edge to my tone._

_"How this looks to Sam."_

_"That doesn't excuse your__ shitty attitude lately?" I retorted, running a few strides ahead of him._

_"FUCK YOU"_

I came to an abrupt skidded stop and whirled around to meet him face to face, causing him to halt before me. The dust flying around us in response to our paws digging harshly into the dirt below.

_"You got something you wanna say? Fucking say it, Paul. I've put up with this shit from you for weeks now and my patience is running out."_

Paul looked to hesitate at first. His eyes dropping to the dirt below us and his angry demeanor faltering when he heard my tone, a loud huff now coming from him. "_It was Sam's role. He gave up everything to be Alpha and you took that from him. I get that it's in your blood. That it's your birthright. But you crossed a line Jake! Just isn't fucking right!" _He spat coldly.

I shook off the guilty feeling and took another step toward him. Bringing us nose to nose. _"You don't think I don't know that? Huh? You think I wanted to take that from him the way I did? Do you REALLY THINK I don't hate myself some days for ripping that right away from him? You don't think I care about what this is doing to Emily? But that doesn't give you permission to be a jackass and forget your place. I am your Alpha now. And I expect you to remember that."_

He huffed once more and lowered his head. His words not lost on me, knowing that despite the immense guilt I felt, I had to stand my ground with him.

Darkness soon threatened to fall upon us and I was more than ready for the day to be over come dinner time. Collin, Brady and Quil showed back up on schedule and took over for us so Paul and I could go home. Neither one of us spoke when we phased within the cover of the trees behind my house and parted ways. His words still weighing heavily on me as I quickly showered and dressed for dinner at Bella's. My father took notice of my somber mood when I helped him in the truck.

He voiced his concern when we reached the first stop light in town. "Son... something on your mind tonight?"

I remained silent for a moment while continuing to mull over what Paul had said on patrol. My gaze fixed on the red light in front of us.

"It's nothing." I sighed, hitting the gas when the light turned green.

"Don't give me that. I can see something's bothering you. Everything okay with you and Bella?"

"Yea... She's... perfect. We're fine." I replied, glancing over in his direction to see his well knowing eyes already observing me.

"So what is it?"

"Pack stuff... Paul... mainly..."

"Oh I see. He's a handful that one." He chuckled.

I nodded in agreement. "His shitty disposition gets old. He doesn't accept what I did."

"He doesn't have to. You're his Alpha. He needs to remember that and he'd be wise to be mindful of it."

"It's not that damn simple."

"Sure it is. He will have to get over it. You made a mistake and he, of all people, should understand that. He's made enough personal mistakes in his day."

"I know but-"

"No... no buts. He will learn to respect you or you'll need to remind him to."

We pulled into Bella's driveway and I noticed immediately that her truck was missing. I glanced at my watch, seeing the time and finding it odd she wasn't home yet.

"Where's Bella?" Billy asked when I wheeled him up to the house.

"I'm not sure." I replied, an uneasy feeling settling over me.

Charlie met us at the front door. A worried expression on his face and one that I took note of. My father handed him the six pack of Bud Light he had brought over for the game.

"Ready for tonight's win there old man?" Billy Joked.

"Yea, we'll see about that." Charlie sighed.

"Say Charlie... where's Bella?" Billy asked.

"Oh she should be coming right along." He replied, his eyes meeting mine briefly before joining Billy for the game.

I reached in my Jacket, searching for my phone and dialing her before he even sat down in the living room, a disquieted feeling welling up from within me. It rang and rang and soon went to her voicemail. I clenched my free hand into a fist. My mind beginning to wander and causing my worry to grow by the minute. No matter how I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling. Something about the way Charlie looked had me concerned for her.

"Damn it." I cursed under my breath, calling her again and hoping she would answer but it went to voicemail. The many minutes passed as I paced the kitchen floor, glancing out the window every now and then. My ears tuned into every car that drove by and inevitably passed.

"You're gonna wear a hole in my floor." Charlie chuckled, coming in to retrieve another Bud Light.

"I might." I told him. No evidence of laughter in my tone.

Charlie paused and reached back in the fridge for another beer, offering it to me. "Hey... She'll be home before too long. Come watch the game."

"I'll be in soon." I replied, my eyes meeting his before checking the window once more.

I heard Charlie pop the top on the Bud Light and slide it across the counter to me. "Well... here... till then..."

"Thanks."

He took his beer and headed back in to watch the game. Billy cheering loudly over the game as I leaned against the counter. My hands curling around the wooden edge and hearing the wood strain in response. I drew in a deep breath and tried to cool it. But the unease within me made that hard to do. Call it intuition... call it imprint... whatever it was had me on edge.

Headlights suddenly gleaming in through the window caught my attention, seeing her now pulling in the driveway. I went out the front door to greet her. Wanting to see with my own two eyes that she was safe and in tact. Relief flooded through me when I saw her come around the truck, her hand clutching her keys and a large bag of cookies.

I couldn't help the smile that spread to my face when her eyes caught mine. I watched a genuine smile come to her face. Her eyes lighting up anew when she approached me, hugging me immediately. There was an urgency in her embrace I could not ignore.

"I love you." She said softly to me. I tightened my hold on her and thanked whoever was watching from above that she was home.

"I love you, too honey."

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late." She sighed, offering me the bag of cookies Emily had sent.

"Everything went ok?" I asked, seeing her eyes avoid mine and knowing she was struggling with herself to tell me something. I bit my tongue and waited as she moved herself closer to me.

"I'm late because I... took Sam home."

My heart lurched itself into my throat when she said this. My uneasy feeling now explained.

"What? By yourself?"

"I know you're probably upset with me but-"

I pulled her to me and kissed her. My head full of the fifty fucking ways this night could have gone so wrong.

Sam was a ticking time bomb, never thinking before he acted these days. The thought of Bella being anywhere near him when he should decide to lose his shit again, had my insides crawling and my chest tight with worry. As it was, I had Quil and Emby doing regular runs by their house just to check in for Emily's sake alone. Sam knew nothing of this and I planned to keep it that way. On more than one occasion, Emily had called Billy in the middle of the night crying because of some drunk bender Sam had gone on. His words always loud and harsh with her. I wanted to right my mistake and fix the mess he was now. I just had no idea how the hell to do so.

"I'm not upset with you. I just worry. There's a difference, honey. What happened?" I asked, my tone low with her.

"Charlie Called me when I first got home and told me he was looking for you, because Sam had been arrested for being drunk and disorderly earlier tonight. I knew you wouldn't be back yet, so I drove in town and bailed him out. I just finished dropping him off. He's with Emily now."

"You paid his bail?"

"Yea..." She sighed.

I knew her heart was in the right place. It always was and I loved that about her, but I was disappointed in myself for not being there. I should of been the one to bail his drunk ass out. It wasn't her responsibility. It was mine.

"I should've been there. Was he rude?" I asked, my eyes searching her own and seeing the answer there in them without words. "I'll pay you back. Every cent."

She shook her head. "No, it's okay. He's home now and at least Emily won't be worried. She doesn't need that right now. Don't worry about the money."

Her understanding astounded me, making me feel grateful for her acceptance with all this. "I don't want you to feel responsible for cleaning up my mess."

She raised her hands and cradled my face. "Our mess. Remember?"

I nodded to her and kissed her gently on the forehead. It was moments like this that made me love her all the more. Moments like this that made me thankful for who she was.

My father greeted us with a wide smile once we were through the front door, noticing the cookies in my hand.

"I see Emily sent something home with you?" He asked as I tossed him the bag. My father had always loved Emily's cooking, along with just about everyone else on the Reservation. She was well known for it.

"She did and she said to be sure you all enjoy them." Bella replied.

Charlie dug in and they soon went back to cheering for the game and arguing over who they thought were the better players.

Bella busied herself in the kitchen with digging out dishes for dinner. I followed her in and couldn't help but steel a glance at her beautiful backside as she reached up into the cupboard. My eyes trailing down to her legs. I bit back a groan and ached to be alone with her. It had been too damn long.

I tore my attention away from the sweet view of her and helped her with taking out the dishes. Anything to stop thinking of her naked body with mine. Her creamy, smooth as silk skin. Her mahogany hair spilling down her back. The taste of her lips... Every damn thought going straight to my groin... Fuck.

I ran a hand through my hair, leaning my back against the counter and focusing hard on something else. My mind went back to the mess with Sam. The situation with him only getting worse and causing my guilt to increase ten fold over what I'd done. How do you go back and change shit that's gone so fucking wrong? I had to try and do something. I owed that to Emily. I owed that to Sam and I owed it to myself.

"Where are you?" Bella breathed to me, pressing herself into me suddenly. Her eyes meeting my own and looking for the cause of my distraction.

"Sorry honey." I replied, wrapping my arms around her and breathing in her scent. It was sweet and intoxicating. Pure and simple... like that of Vanilla and lilac mixed together.

My hands roaming down her back and idling just above her ass.

"Did patrol go okay?" She asked.

"For the most part."

She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek. Her heart beating fast to rival mine, which was now pounding at her mere closeness.

"Are you staying with me tonight?" She whispered in my ear. Her voice soft and laced with hope. I pressed her body tighter to mine when she drew back to meet my gaze.

"Always." I mouthed to her, reaching my hand up and placing it under her chin to draw her lips to mine. The kiss slow and sensual. My need for her becoming impossible to ignore. Everything in me wanted her. I wanted to kiss every inch of her silky skin and run my hands over her beautiful breasts. I longed to hear her moan my name and to feel her come apart beneath me. It had been long enough and I was desperate to get her alone.

I broke our kiss. My mouth staying a breath away from hers when I spoke.

"Soon..."

Her response was barely a whisper when she spoke it. "Soon."

I slid my hands down a bit further, cupping her ass and heard her breath hitch in response as she bit her bottom lip. Her eyes straying away from mine and settling on my mouth. I was certain she could feel her affect on me. Her hands now coming to stroke my arms while she pressed her body further into mine. I was vaguely aware of Charlie coming into the kitchen. Bella moved herself away from me, a rapid blush forming on her cheeks.

"I'm headed in town to get the pizza's. Want anything else?" He asked, grabbing his keys from off the counter.

"I think we're all set." Bella replied, pretending to busy herself with retrieving cups and pouring drinks on ice for when Charlie returned with dinner.

"Jake? You all set?"

"Yea I'm good. Thanks." I replied.

"Hey Billy we're almost out of beer there bud." He yelled into my father, who was too busy cheering for the game to pay any damn attention. Charlie laughed and grabbed his coat from off the back of the kitchen chair. "I think it's safe to say it won't go to waste if I pick up another six pack!"

"Probably not." I laughed with him, reaching in my back pocket for my wallet and handing him twenty bucks to help cover dinner.

He hesitated, but took it when I insisted after pointing out to him how many time he's covered dinner for all of us lately. It was only fair. He grumbled once and then took the twenty.

"Thanks Son." He sighed when he headed out.

My eyes went straight back to Bella when he left us, sweeping over her body and longing to strip her naked right here in the kitchen. If Billy wasn't in the next room, I would have in a heartbeat. I would have finished what we started on the table at my house here in her own kitchen. My mind ran wild with the memory of how amazing she felt, how all consuming we were together. I saw her glance over her shoulder, seeing her eyes catch mine and revealing to me that she knew exactly where my thoughts were. My gaze went to the ice cubes she had in her hand, placing them in each glass and thinking of a much better purpose for them. One that involved her bare creamy skin and my tongue.

My thoughts were running away with me and I knew I desperately needed a distraction. Thankfully, my father provided one when he came wheeling in for a drink. His presence now breaking my lustful train of thought.

Bella handed him a glass of cold soda and asked how the game was turning out. Billy ranted about how horrible they were playing lately. Their small talk was enough of a distraction for me to get a grip and pull my thoughts from the erotic haze they'd been in.

I headed into the living and tried to get lost in the game. It worked for a while, keeping me preoccupied until Charlie came home with dinner. We ate together and continued watching.

Bella kept herself in the kitchen, aimlessly cleaning this and that after dinner. I knew her reason and couldn't help the small smile that formed on my mouth knowing I had that kind of affect on her.

She eventually ventured out to join us for the last hour of the game. Placing herself by me on the couch and pretending to be interested in the Mariners losing streak. I reached for her hand and felt her fingers lace with mine as she moved herself a bit closer to me. I listened to the erratic pounding of her heart and saw her lick her lips. The small gesture enough to drive me fucking mad. I wanted to claim that tongue of hers with my own. My self control slipped further when she moved her hand up, feeling her nails lightly graz my forearm. I glanced over to meet her heated gaze just as the game finished.

"I can't believe their losing streak this season!" Billy yelled.

"I know it! Seems they can't get their head outta their asses!" Charlie replied, profusely shaking his head in frustration and picking up the empty beer cans from the coffee table.

"Holy shit, it's close to Eleven." Billy sighed when he glanced down to his wrist watch. "Don't you have an early morning shift at the station?"

Charlie nodded with a heavy sigh. "Sure do. In four hours. Working from three to noon tomorrow. Covering for Rick. He's on Vacation."

I was only half paying attention to the rest of their chatter. My eyes went back to Bella's when I heard Charlie say he would be gone early. She met my stare and nodded once to me. The gesture so inconspicuous that it surely went unnoticed by anyone else. My mind was already swarming with the sounds I ached to hear from her again. The sounds I craved to pull from her.

"Well we better get headed home son. Let Charlie here get some rest."

I got up from the couch and helped my Father out the door and in the truck, cranking the heat for him before heading back in to say goodbye to Bella. She met me at the front door, holding my jacket in her hands and offering it to me. I took it from her and saw the look of disappointment she wore as I slipped it on. I kissed her, my tongue sweeping her bottom lip and evoking a breathy moan from her.

"I'm coming back for you... Soon..." I breathed against her lips, seeing them laced with wicked desire and the hint of a smile. The tantalizing aroma of her skin filled my senses as our gazes collided, making it hard for me to leave. The sound of her breathy moan made my hands twitch with the desire to caress every inch of her.

I had been utterly numb without her before and now that she was finally mine, being with her had stirred my senses from their slumber, engulfing them with the essence of her. It had awakened my soul and opened my eyes. It had ignited a burning need for her. The kind that makes your spine itch with anticipation and caused your pulse to quicken. The kind that sent a divine hunger for her touch thundering through my very veins.

I helped dad get settled in for the night soon after we arrived back home. Still ranting and raving about the game and how they lost. I just nodded and said good night to him, his sudden laughter stopped me before I closed his bedroom door.

"What?" I asked, confused as to what he could find so damn funny.

"You really think your old man is that clueless? As if I don't know where you're headed from here."

I paused, trying to come up with a rational reply for him and failing miserably. He saw me struggle and just laughed again.

"Listen... just don't let Charlie catch you. He loves you and all but I really don't need to be getting a phone call saying he tried to shoot you when he caught you sneaking out of Bella's room at the crack of damn dawn."

I nodded to him and left well enough alone. My hand lingering on the door knob.

"Oh and uh ... son?"

"Yea..." I peeked my head back in.

"It's great to see you happy again. Truly is... Good night."

"Thanks dad... Night." I replied, his words making me smile when I left him to sleep.

I quickly took a shower and changed my clothes. Sure ways to pass the time by. I could hear the sound of Billy's snoring coming from his room as I grabbed a clean pair of socks from my top drawer, finding the last clean pair at the bottom. My hands retrieving a small box of condoms laid there and debating on breeching the subject of birth control with Bella again. I had been so caught up in the moment with her before, that I'd neglected to use any the first time and nearly stopped breathing when I remembered so after the fact. Luckily enough, Bella assured me she was on the pill and told me not to worry. However, that didn't stop the guilty feeling I had over being so fucking reckless with her in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I wanted my world to start and end with her, but having kids right now was something neither one of us was ready for. It wasn't the right time, but someday it would be and my heart warmed at just the thought.

Despite her assurance, I took it upon myself to pick up condoms at the store, feeling that the responsibility should be shared between the two of us and not solely be placed on her. Besides, the pill wasn't fool proof... nothing was.

I tucked the condoms back under my boxers in the drawer and finished dressing, my eyes glancing down to my wrist watch every ten minutes or so. The minutes seeming to pass by at an agonizingly slow pace. I had so much pent up energy that I began pacing in the kitchen, waiting for the damn time to crawl by. Which it did... at a snails pace.

After an hour of this, I couldn't handle watching the clock tick any longer and decided to take the time I had left to check in with Emily. After learning of how drunk Sam had been when Bella dropped him off earlier, I wanted to check in with her.

I searched my jacket pocket for my phone and saw I had two missed calls from my boss. I dialed him back and heard him answer on the second ring.

"Hey Jacob. Thanks for calling me back. I know it's late. Sorry if I woke you." Clark sighed.

"That's okay. I'm awake. No problem. What's up?"

"I called cause I need you in for work early tomorrow. Got a meeting with the owner and he needs everyone there bright and early. Meeting starts at seven."

"Sure thing. I'll be in."

"I'll put on an extra large pot of coffee. Really appreciate it."

"No problem Clark. See you then."

"Alright Jacob. Night." He replied, soon ending the call.

It was nearly 12:45 a.m. now and I knew that meant I'd hardly get any sleep after being with Bells, but I didn't care. It would be well worth it. I was used to running on empty by now. Becoming Alpha had changed my sleep patterns entirely. I was always a bit of a night owl before, but now it was rarity for me to get more than three or four hours a night. Since Bella had come back home, we'd spent a lot of nights falling asleep together, which now made it insufferable for me to sleep well without her. I'd grown accustomed to her next to me.

I scrolled down through my contacts, searching for Emily's cell and dialing her. I hesitated briefly, thinking of the time and hoping I wouldn't be waking her or further pissing off Sam. It rang several times before I was greeted by her friendly voicemail. I hung up and went to set my phone down when it suddenly lit up with her returning call. I cursed under my breath and mentally kicked myself for dialing her so late.

"Hey Em. Did I wake you?" I asked upon answering.

"Oh uh ... no. I was just making banana bread." Her tone soft and that of a whisper.

"This late?" I asked.

"Yea. I figured why not? Can't really sleep so..."

While her tone was soft, it was not so soft that I didn't recognize the sound of emotion in it when she spoke.

"Bella told me she picked Sam up tonight... from Jail?"

"Yes she did. Please thank her again for me when you see her. She really didn't have to do that. I can pay her-"

"Don't worry about the money. Trust me, I already offered to do so myself and she refused to hear of it." I interjected.

A heavy silence fell over the conversation, causing a heavy weighted feeling to form in my chest. I knew he was there and I knew from the sound of her that he'd taken all his drunk anger out on her verbally. The same way he'd done at least a dozen times since the incident with me months ago.

"That's really nice of her." She finally said.

"She's worried about you, too."

"I know and I appreciate it, but I'm okay."

"You sure?"

"Positive. I'll be fine."

I glanced at the calendar on my wall, seeing that she had another appointment next week. I had been keeping track of them so I was sure to be available when the time came for them.

"You have another appointment this week right?" I asked.

"Yeah... this Wednesday at four."

"So I'll meet you there then."

"Actually..." she sighed. "I was thinking you know with all the extra shifts you've been running for patrol and Bella being home now, you should really take a break from going. I appreciate it Jake. I sincerely do, but you have a lot going on and-"

"Emily it's fine." I interjected in protest.

"It's not. You're only one person..."

"It's fine."

"Jake-"

"Em... you're only one person, too. So why not let me take some of the stress a little bit. Besides, after all the cooking you've done for Billy and I over the years, it's the least I can do."

There was a long pause before she replied with a simple. "Okay."

"He's gonna get better. He will. This won't last forever."

"I hope not." She sighed.

"It won't. He'll come around. It just might take longer than we thought."

"Seems long enough."

"I know..." I sighed heavily.

"Thanks for checking in, Jake."

"Always. I'll check in tomorrow sometime. Sleep well. Night Em."

"Goodnight Jacob." She replied and ended the call.

I braced myself for the gut wrenching guilt to encompass me the same way it always did. It was inevitable and by now, a regular nightly routine for me. I always carried some of it with me, but in the still of the night, where my thoughts would replay the fight with Sam over and over again, is where i'd feel it hit me the heaviest. Hearing Emily sound so hopeless the way she did sometimes, would only cause that feeling to blaze anew within me. I used to drown my guilt in drinking, looking for the answer at the bottom of an empty bottle of whiskey most nights. I never found the answer of course, but searched for it night after night anyway. I had learned since then that I couldn't escape that kind of guilt. Having Bella back with me made it more tolerable but didn't erase it. I wasn't sure if anything ever could.

I sighed heavily and checked the time, seeing it was almost two. I soon felt the all too familiar sense of mind numbing regret creep it's way over me. I got to my feet and headed out the front door, seeking a way to forget it... if only for a little while.

I ran to the edge of the tree line in my back yard and stripped once in the thick cover of them. The night wind howling around me, as I phased and ran through the dense wilderness. My thoughts soon becoming no longer my own.

_"Jake..." _

I heard Seth's thoughts filter through the haze of regret that clouded my head. I stopped the thoughts abruptly.

"_Why are you out here so late? I told you not to worry about making up todays patrol."_

_"I know but I got nothing else going on. Besides I thought you were with Bella?" _He asked.

_"I was. I just needed to make a run."_

_"Things are okay here. No new trails."_

_"Good."_

My thoughts slipped to Sam and Emily when we crossed the river. I tried to reign them in, but Seth had already seen them.

"_Sam got arrested! Tonight! And Bella bailed him out?"_

I skidded to a stop and turned on my heel, waiting for him to catch up to me. His paws dug in the dirt as he approached.

_"Look Seth, don't mention this to the pack. I'm sure Emily wants to keep it under wraps. We should respect that."_

He huffed and paced back and forth in front of me. _"I'll try to not slip up. When is he gonna pull it together. This is killing Emily."_

_"I know." _I replied.

"_He has to cut the shit and pull it together. We all feel bad for what happened, but carrying on like this isn't helping anything. He's got a son coming in a few months."_

I looked up into the night sky and saw how clear it was. The many stars shining down at us. It was nights like these I would think of mom and feel her spirit with me. The stars making me remember I was never without her in heart. I wished more than anything I could talk to her right now. Ask her what the hell I was supposed to do from here.

_"Something has to change." _I huffed.

"_Maybe if we all try to talk to him. You know? A united front?"_

While I knew Seth's intentions were good, I didn't agree with his method of approach. Sam was hostile with just one of us. If we all ambushed him he would surely flip.

"_I don't think that's the best way... I've been racking my brain for weeks on how to fix all this. I just don't know where to start."_

_"You made a mistake and he has to accept what happened. It's his reality now. Just like being Alpha is yours."_

Seth had grown a lot in the last few years. His maturity was starting to show through, leaving the little kid behind we all know and becoming the young man we respected as a brother of our own.

_"I'll see you tomorrow night for the meeting at my house?" _I asked as I turned to leave.

"_I'll be there." _

We parted ways and I took the long route around back to my house. I retrieved my clothes, slipping them on and checking in on dad once before heading to Bella's. I tried to leave the guilt behind me and not allow it to seep in, but every mile I drove, my mind would only dig deeper into the past. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I entered Forks, silently cursing my mind for not leaving me the fuck alone.

I was angry at myself for my fucked up choices back then, and worried as hell for the ramifications of them now. Everyone kept telling me to have hope for Sam. To believe he would find the peace he needed and turn things around. But the time for that was quickly fading. Emily was due in a few months and she needed him. Sam had to find himself again. He needed to be reminded of what he stood to lose and as much as I knew it would piss him off, I was starting to think that I needed to be the one to remind him of this.


	12. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

_"Neuroscience tells us that love activates the same parts of the brain as habit forming addiction. It makes us feel like we can do anything, be anything, achieve anything. And once we've tasted it... We want more." -Grey's Anatomy-  
_

**(BPOV)**

I stood in the doorway and watched as Jacob took Billy home. The taste of his lips still lingering on mine when I closed the door. Charlie was chattering away to me from the kitchen, but I was only able to half absorb what he said. My thoughts clouded with lust and longing, his husky whispered words before he left had created an itch within me that had to be scratched.

"Bella?" Charlie's voice dragging me from that lust filed haze and forcing me back to the present.

"Wh... What?" I stammered.

"I said, can you lock the door before you turn in?"

"Oh, yea... No problem." I replied, busying myself with turning off the lights and locking the house.

"I'll set the coffee in the morning for you. I'll be gone early so."

"Thanks."

"Night kiddo."

"Night dad."

He retreated to his room and I heard the door latch behind him. The house growing eerily silent, as I finished cleaning up the few spare dishes in the kitchen. I kept myself as busy as I could. Come midnight, I had run out of things to clean or put away, and decided to shower and get dressed for bed.

I was searching my drawers for something suitable to wear, when I came across a piece of clothing I hadn't seen in months. It was at the bottom of my second drawer. A black silk lingerie nightgown that I'd brazenly bought in Florida with Renee on one of our few shopping trips together. She had said that every woman needed something a little sexy in her closet to adorn ponce in a while. Just the sight of it made my cheeks flare. The tags were still attached and the top was see through lace. I drew in a steady breath, my fingers gingerly skimming the top of it.

I held it up and felt my blush deepen, as I tore the tags off and slipped it on. The silk sliding over my skin effortlessly. I glanced at my reflection in the full length mirror on my closet door and for the first time in a long time, I felt sexy and more importantly, I knew Jacob would appreciate my choice of night wear when he returned. Just thinking his name had my skin tingling and my heart beating wildly. I glanced nervously over to the clock, seeing it was only 12:45 in the morning. Time was barely creeping by. I sighed and crawled into bed, under my warm covers, my whole body craving a different kind of warmth, as I pulled them up around me. I was wide awake still, so I settled on reading to pass the time by.

I was three chapters down when I heard Charlie's loud alarm echo through the upstairs. A small smile formed on my face, as I heard him get up and trudge his way into the bathroom. I quickly tossed the book aside and turned off my lamp, sinking further down into the covers. I waited while he got ready for work, listening to him shuffle about the house. His keys jingling in his hands and the front door opening and soon closing behind him. I let out a contented sigh, as I heard his cruiser start and pull away from the house.

I got to my feet and ran a brush through my hair, doing a once over of myself in the mirror. I had never worn anything so revealing, but felt a sense of empowerment from doing so. I ran downstairs and unlocked the front door, feeling myself build with sudden nervous energy as I waited for him.

Should I wait here? In the kitchen? Upstairs on my bed?

I paced in the kitchen, wringing my hands together, so exposed in what I was wearing. Apart of me became somewhat self conscious. What if he didn't like it? What if it was too much? Too revealing? I laughed out loud at this thought. Yea... Too revealing, because Jake wasn't into revealing. He traipsed around half naked majority of the time. I didn't think revealing was something he was opposed to.

I ran my hands nervously through my hair and stopped mid pace when I heard the front door open. My breath hitching and my heart jumping into my throat when it closed. I rounded the corner and saw him there. He stopped in his tracks when his eyes fell on me. They grew wide as they drank me in. I watched with delight as he smiled a wicked, salacious grin. My skin was already craving his touch as he stalked toward me. His eyes intensely fixed on mine, dark with desire and need.

Every damn step he took made my body hum with anticipation. The look of lust he wore was enough to make me do anything... anything to see that look from him. It was mouth watering and panty dropping sexy. I was already lost and he hadn't even touched me yet.

He reached for me, pulling me flush to him. "You look amazing." He whispered, his voice low and husky, his warm breath caressing my lips when he speaks. Before I can respond, his mouth captures mine, his kiss possessive and his tongue urgent, relentless, needy. I return his hunger with my own and my hands are already in his hair.

I feel his hands move rhythmically down my back, stroking me tenderly, our tongues working in a frenzy with each other. My hands moved to his jacket, trying to rid him of it. He tore his mouth away from mine and tossed it to the side, his hands sliding firmly up over my hips.

I reached for the hem of his shirt, leaning up on my tip toes to pull it off over his head, carelessly throwing it to the side, not caring where the hell it landed, as his lips found mine again. There was a sense of desperation in his kiss I couldn't place, and I didn't take the time to stop and question him about it. I simply surrendered to him, as his hand slid up along my outer thigh, under my silk nightgown. The feel of his finger tips trailing the outer edge of my lace panties. I let out a gasp, my mouth leaving his, as he picked me up and headed for the stairs with me. His pace quick and my breathing ragged as I clung to him.

I trailed kisses along his cheek and jaw line, letting my tongue brush the pulse point on his neck when we reached my room. He laid me on the bed, his mouth reclaiming my own, and his hands roaming up my thighs. The soft satin of my nightgown rising higher, skimming over my sensitized skin, as he pushed the fabric. His hand came up to span my side, as his mouth left mine and worked it's way down to my neck and collar bone. I moaned at the feel of his lips on my bare skin, as he settled himself between my legs. His erection pressing against my core. I writhed against him, tilting my hips up, meeting and matching his rhythm, growing eager for friction.

Wildfire spread through my very veins at the contact. My breath coming in short pants, a heavy and hot desire pooling between my legs, as I graze my nails down his back, and hear a low moan come from him.

I brazenly reached around to the front of his jeans. My fingers nimbly working the button and zipper.

I undo them and feel the silk of my nightgown slip further down, his warm tongue soon swirls deliciously around my nipple, as I slide his jeans down over his hips. My insides damn near liquefying. He pries himself away from me, causing me to sit up and reach for him instinctively. He stands and strips himself of his jeans, leaving him in just his boxers. His prominent erection straining against the confines of his boxers. I lick my lips, as he approaches the bed, his gaze growing hungry, dominant and full of need.

The sight of him captures my breath, stealing it from me and leaving me in awe of how damn gorgeous he is. He reaches the bed and crawls back up my body. My lips seek his, as he presses himself to me again. The heat between us is all consuming.

I feel his tongue dance with mine, as his hand runs up my outer thigh and his lips move to my neck, my collarbone, my sternum. My breath hitches when I feel his arms thread under me. He swiftly scoops me up, settling me on his lap. I am now straddling him, his hands grasping my hips when I moan at the new feel of him beneath me, beginning to move my hips in gyrating fashion on top of him. Jacobs hands move to my nightgown, his mouth hungrily seeking mine as he moves the fabric up. I lift my arms and he pulls it over my head. My bare breasts now on full display for him. He takes one eagerly in his mouth, swirling his warm tongue around my pert nipple, than the other.

Hot desire runs through my very veins like wildfire when I feel him grow impossibly hard beneath me. His hands now firmly on my hips, steadying me as I move. I place one hand on his chest and gently push him down, so he is laying flat on his back

"Bells..." I hear him groan, his own breathing labored, as my hips now work in a new rhythm and my skin becomes flush from our contact.

I am utterly lost in my arousal for him. I open my eyes to see him looking at me with admiration. Slowing my movements, I lean down and capture his lips with mine, as his hands roam up over my ass, my back and into my hair. My insides tighten when I feel his tongue posses mine. He quickly takes control and sits up, his erection pressing firmly against my throbbing core. Jacob flips us over and suddenly stills with me there beneath him. He leans down and runs his nose along mine, his dark eyes searching my own once before he kisses my cheek, trailing down to the column of my neck. I grip the sheets in anticipation when I feel his warm breath suddenly caress my navel, as he works his way further down my body. I feel him hover there, his fingertips skimming the top of my lace panties, tugging them down at a tantalizingly slow pace. My eyes flutter open to see him there between my legs, as he lowers his head to my bare belly, his mouth picking up where he left off. Setting my skin ablaze as he goes. I am breathless when I feel him kiss my inner thigh, my grip on the sheets tightening, as his mouth inches closer to my sex. My heart is damn near pounding out of my chest when he reaches his hand up to mine, threading our fingers together, running his tongue up over my sex. I let out a gasp and felt his hand tighten in mine, my back arching up off the bed. His tongue works over my sensitive flesh. I am unable to form any words... all of them escaping me as new sensations run through my body... all but one... "Jacob..."

I can't control the many moans that escape me as he continues his slow and sensual assault. His tongue swirling around and around. I feel my insides tighten as his tongue explores me further. My body coming alive and at his mercy. I'm panting, feeling myself now teetering on the edge of ecstasy, my body humming with pleasure, his skillful tongue igniting my already heated blood, as I succumb to the blissful carnal pleasure. I am vaguely aware of Jacobs hand leaving mine and I groan when I feel him ease his fingers inside me, feeling them move within me. He is merciless.

"Oh, Jacob." I cry out, my voice unrecognizable, high pitched now with need. My hands grasp the sheets in a death grip as I feel myself start to slip over the edge. With a last swirl of his tongue, I fall helplessly, embracing my orgasm. My back arching up off the bed as his fingers continued their merciless movements within me.

He soon moves back up my body and hungrily claims my mouth with his. My hands reach for his boxers, desperately aching to rid him of them. His briefly breaks our kiss and quickly removes his boxers, his body immediately coming back to mine. I feel him press against my core and I am suddenly possessed by the raw carnal need for him. I reach down, as he locks eyes with me and slowly guide him, feeling the tip of him slide within me.

"I love you." He breaths raggedly as he sinks into me. The exquisite fullness making me moan loudly.

"I love you, too."

Jacobs movements were tantalizingly slow and deliberate at first. His cheek brushing mine and his fingers lacing with my own, as his thrusts pick up in pace and depth.

His name falls from my lips repeatedly. Like a sacred prayer, as he pushes me onward, upward. My body responding to his every thrust. His lips seek mine and I kiss him passionately, my hands in his hair.

His warm hand releases mine and travels down to my outer thigh, hitching my leg up slightly, and making his thrusts go deeper. I can't stop myself from crying out, feeling every nerve ending in my body light up for him, leaving me breathless.

"Bells..." I hear his warm voice at my ear, as he nuzzles his face there. I can feel his very heart pounding through his chest, matching the rapid beat of my own.

My insides quicken and my nails graze harshly down his back. He suddenly rolls, taking me with him, not breaking our intimate contact as I come to settle on top of him now. I gasp aloud at the feel of him in this position. How deep he went.

His hands take mine, intertwining our fingers, and his eyes lit up with a primal lust I had never seen from him before. The look of it had me moving already. My hips rocking back and forth. He felt amazing.

My eyes stay locked on his as I find my own rhythm.

"Do what you feel, honey." He breaths to me and I watch with great satisfaction as his eyes close, a low moan coming from the back of his throat. I am losing myself, my insides tightening in hurried fashion as I continue my pace. One love united. Our bodies synchronizing.

I take my hands from his and place them on his chest, feeling myself come apart at the seems. I cry out and feel his hands now firmly placed on my hips, steadying me, securing me. His eyes shoot open and meet mine just as I spiral into my orgasm. My insides contracting hard around him. I feel his hands tighten on my hips, his own release washing over him. The sound of my name coming from his lips as he pours himself within me.

I soon collapse on top of him, wrung out and spent. My limbs feeling heavy and useless now, as my cheek comes to rest on his chest. A state of overwhelming safety and bliss surrounding me as he wraps his arms around me.


	13. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks to each and every one of you guys who have been faithfully following this story! YOU ARE AWESOME!**

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**(JPOV)**

I pressed her naked body tight to mine, feeling her collapse against me, as I ran my fingers through her hair, my own heart beating hard.

"I love you." She breaths to me, lifting her head up to meet my stare. I cradle her face and press my lips to hers.

"I love you more, honey." I reply, feeling her lazily move herself off me, as she comes to rest beside me. I turn and draw her naked body back into mine.

"Are you leaving soon?" She asks, clear disappointment in her breathy tone.

"Not right now."

She suddenly turns herself in my arms, so we're facing each other. "I worry for you, you know?"

I shook my head, reaching my hand up to brush a stray lock of hair away from her face. "Why honey?"

"Cause you don't hardly ever sleep." She sighs, brushing her nose against mine.

"Don't worry."

"I'm going to."

"Don't." I whisper, stealing a quick kiss.

"It's what I do Jacob."

I kiss her again and inch her body even closer to mine, seeing her eyes close and watching her contently as she drifts off to sleep. My own eyes soon grow heavy, exhaustion now pulling at me. My heart full and my soul at rest with her in my arms like this.

The hated and dreaded alarm soon blared through Bella's room. I was hardly awake when I felt her climb half hazardly over my body to hit the snooze. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her down on top of me before she could return to her side of the bed and running my hands down her sleek, sexy backside. I felt her lips press to mine once as she uttered "Morning." Her kisses moving down along my chest, her body sliding down mine like silk. I opened my eyes when I felt her slip further down, her tongue running along my abs. I moaned aloud and felt her mouth stop above my navel. I glanced down, seeing her start to disappear beneath the sheets.

"Bells..." I sighed, her head lifting to meet my heated gaze.

"Can I?" She asked in a breath, licking her lips. I kept her stare a bit longer, knowing this was a line we had never crossed before and not wanting her to feel pressured in returning the oral gesture, simply because of what I'd done for her last night. The truth was, I couldn't resist her. "Please?"

"You don't ha... -"

"I want to." She interjected.

I nodded to her and watched her dip beneath the sheets, her mouth forming a devilish grin as she went. I laid my head back and felt her hand reach for me, her tongue swirling once around the tip of me and making me moan again. "Bells..."

She continued swirling her tongue, around and around, making me ache to be inside her again. She took me in her mouth, her hand stroking me as she went. I groaned when I felt her take me deeper in. The feel of her mouth around me felt fucking amazing and I mentally reminded myself not to give in yet. I closed my eyes and concentrated on not losing myself in the feeling. It was hard as hell to do. I felt her tongue run back up my bare abs as she immerged from under the sheet. My eyes now opening to see her smile wide as she straddled me. Her beautiful naked body now on full display for me to behold. I sat up and eagerly took her nipple in my mouth, hearing her moan, as she threw her head back.

"Jake..." She breathed. Almost in an anguished tone. I swirled my tongue around her other nipple and quickly laid her on her back beneath me. My mouth seeking her creamy smooth skin along her bare stomach.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, honey."

She moaned aloud when I kissed her inner thigh, slowly moving my way to her sex. Her hips slightly bucked up when I gently blow along her sensitive folds once, before running my tongue up over her sweet flesh.

Fuck... She tastes amazing.

I am lost, drunk on her taste, and the sounds of pleasure she makes. I can't resist her, as I circle my tongue around her sensitive nub. Her moans growing louder and her back arching again. The sounds she makes are intoxicating to me. Like a drug I can't get my fill of. She soon starts breathing heavy, my name falling from her every pant. I slip two fingers inside her, eagerly seeking for the spot that makes her body come alive at my touch.

"Oh... Oh... ugh..." I hear her groan and know she's damn close. I feel her legs start to tremble and her insides soon contract around my fingers. I continue to caress her, feeling her writhing against my hand through her orgasm. I watch her intently, as she tosses her head back and see the ivory skin of her cheeks flush vibrantly with new color.

I move my way back up her body, possessing her mouth with mine and gently removing my fingers from her, settling myself between her naked trembling thighs. I reached down, and ran the tip of me over her slick folds. She trembled beneath me, as I slowly eased myself within her. She cried out and held onto me as I began to move, feeling her tightly wrapped around me.

Bella's tongue moves with mine, working in a heated frenzy against each other, until she breaks the kiss to moan loudly. Her eyes meet mine and I listen intently to every sound of pleasure she makes, my pace increasing as my own release looms over me, threatening to consume me. Her chest heaved and her nails raked down my back, the feel of it exquisite to me, as I reach down and hitch her leg, my thrusts going deeper. I kept my eyes on her, checking for any single flinch of discomfort, but I saw none.

"Jacob!" she cries out, the sound heavenly to me.

I kiss her once and placed my lips to her ear. "I love you so damn much."

My thrusts grow in pace and become more powerful, and I feel myself start to fight against the primal lust that tries to engulf me. The animal within trying to outstrip the humanity in me. I struggle against it and close my eyes, focusing on the sound of Bella's beating heart. Her lips seeking mine. I feel her hands come up to cradle my face and my eyes open to meet hers.

"Lose yourself in me, Jacob. I'm okay." She breaths raggedly to me in assurance.

I reach up and forcefully grasp her head board with both hands, as the heat rolls over my body. My eyes never leave her face, as I succumb to the urge within me. My every thrust harder and her every moan louder. I lose all sense of myself in her when I feel her start to fall apart beneath me. He eyes closing and her head thrown back as she arches her back up, crying out repeatedly, as her insides contract around me, coaxing me into my own release. I feel myself spill into her and release the head board, pulling her body flush to mine. I kiss her with all of me, and feel her body soon relax as I flip over, taking her with me.

"Wow..." She sighs breathlessly and glances up at me with a bashful expression, her hand coming up to touch my chin just as my cell phone rings from across the room.

I watched her as she scrambled away from me, despite my protest, to get it for me. She wrapped the sheet around herself and hurriedly handed it to me. I saw it was Clark and groaned, pulling myself out of bed.

"You have to leave?" I heard Bella sigh from behind me.

"I have a meeting at the garage." I replied, dressing and turning to her, hating to see the sad expression she now wore. I reached for her as she clutched the sheet to herself. "I can come back later?"

She nodded and quickly kissed me. I tried not to let the tormenting fact that she was still naked under that thin sheet deter me. I knew I had to get going, or I'd be late.

"I'll see you later then." She sighed and kissed my cheek. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too ..." I replied. "It's still really early, honey. Go back to bed?"

"I'll try but I don't sleep well without you..."

"I know what you mean, sweetheart..." I sighed, kissing her forehead and heading for the door. My heart feeling heavy with dread, not wanting to leave her.

I quickly left her house and sped through town, barely making it to the shop just moments before Clark showed up with the keys to open it.

"Hey there Jacob. You made it." He chuckled, as I approached him, seeing two of my coworkers and a tall man dressed in a business suit there waiting.

The meeting went longer than expected. I was thankful for the coffee or I surely would have fallen asleep by the third hour of it. Though I was tired, it was well worth it to be with Bells.

When the meeting finished, I headed to my house, took a quick shower and checked in on my father. He was engrossed in the sports channel and comfortable in his recliner, chowing down on a sandwich.

"You headed back over to see Bella?" He asked, when I grabbed my leather jacket.

"Yea, for a bit. Wanna come along and see Charlie for a while? Think he'll be home by dinner."

"No... I'm fine, but thanks Son."

I nodded and slipped on my coat just as a loud, persistent knock came to the front door. My father met my curious gaze and put down his sandwich, straightening himself in his recliner, as I answered the door.

Sam stood there in front of me. His look angry. I met his hostile stare and held my stance, waiting for him to say something.

"You've been taking Emily to her prenatal appointments?" He spat my way, in an accusatory tone.

I answered him with one simple word. "Yes."

"Since when?" He scoffed. "Why the fuck would you give a shit about what happens to me or my family for that matter?"

I bit back my hostile reply, swallowing hard, and choosing to shut my fucking mouth. He took a step toward me, crossing the door way, and pushing me back once. I stood my ground and just looked at him.

"I'm fucking talking to you, Black! What's the matter? Nothing to say? Huh!"

I bit my tongue again and felt the hot anger pour itself over me. His eyes dead set on mine and black with fierce anger. I heard my fathers cautionary tone come from behind me.

"Sam..."

"Oh don't defend him, Billy! It's time you faced the facts! Your son here is a real piece of sh-"

"HEY!" My father shouted. "THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU WILL NOT COME IN HERE AND DISRESPECT MY SON! NOT IN THIS HOUSE?"

Sam's look grew deadly as he turned to leave. I followed after him. "If me going bothers you so damn much, than you should go!" I yelled, my resolve slipping.

He whirled around, getting back in my face."What... taking Alpha from me wasn't enough for you? NOW you want Emily, too?"

I scoffed... "Holy shit... You really have lost your fucking mind!"

"Really!"

"Yea... Really!" I stepped up to him, bringing us nose to nose. "Emily needs you Sam!"

He didn't reply, instead he spun back around and angrily climbed into his truck and sped off. I stood there watching him leave, and clenching my hands into tight fists at my sides. There had to be a solution to this. There just had to be. But what the hell was it?

I started back for the house when the sound of an approaching engine stopped me where I was. I turned my head, glancing over my shoulder to see an unfamiliar black car pull in. The windows tinted and a set of Florida license plates on it. I slowly turned and saw a man step out. He was tall with sandy blonde hair. He casually shut his car door and took a few steps toward me, removing his dark shades when he spoke.

"You Jacob Black?"

"Yea... That's me. Can I help you?" I replied, watching him carefully as he took another few steps in my direction.

"Maybe... I'm Ryan Emerson." He sighed, reaching his hand out to shake mine.

"Emerson? Any relation to a Clark Emerson? He's my boss?" I replied, looking at his face and seeing the strong resemblance there even before he answered.

"Yes. Clark is my father. That's how I knew where to find you, Jacob."

"What can I do for you?" I asked, releasing his hand.

"Well, I'm really not sure there's anything you can do. You see... It seems you and I are in love with the same woman."

I met his gaze, unable to respond to him. His look grave when he spoke this to me. His words sending my insides fucking screaming, though my mouth didn't make a sound


	14. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

I spent the morning nestled under the covers, missing Jacob more with each passing hour. Come eleven, I decided to stop being lazy and busy myself. I was soon showered and dressed for the day, ready to head out to the grocery store for a few things we needed, when my cell suddenly rang in my jeans pocket. I answered it quickly, silently hoping it was Jacob. The voice that carried through from the other line, stopped me where I stood, my hand coming up to cup my now open mouth.

"Bella? Hello? Are you still there?"

"Ry... Ryan?" I breathed into the phone, my heart hammering.

"Yea. It's me."

I began nervously pacing in front of the door. Shit! OH SHIT!

"Wh... I... mean... how... I"

"I know, it's been a while since we last spoke."

A while! Yes... if you call more than six plus months a while, than that would be an accurate description.

Ryan Emerson was a guy I had met my Freshman year in Florida at JU. We hit it off right away and seemed to hang out with the same groups of people throughout that year. Things progressed in the few months that followed, and we briefly dated for less than half a year. The moment he dropped the... "I love you..." bomb, I called things off, because my heart wasn't in it like his was. I genuinely enjoyed his company and we did have a few drunken one night stands in his dorm room, but I was never in love with him. I felt horrible for breaking it off, but knew it was the right thing to do. He left the University a month later and changed his cell phone number as well. I had no idea what happened to him or where the hell he was residing after that. I hadn't heard a single word from him... until right now.

"Yea.. You... could say that I'm a bit... cau... caught off guard." I replied, scrambling for words.

"I'm in town." He sighed.

"Town? In town? Where? Florida?"

"No... your town... Forks."

I clutched the kitchen counter for support, my head whirling a bit.

"My town? Why are you in Washington? I mean... Ryan... we haven't even spoke since..."

"You dumped me?" He quickly replied.

"Yea..." I sighed heavily.

"I know. I just have to see you."

See me! He wants to see me? What! Why? After all these months... what in the hell... Jacob! OH SHIT... JACOB.

I practically tripped over the kitchen chair as I continued pacing in there. "Ry... I ... well we...-"

A knock on my front door silences me and I feel my heart lurch itself painfully into my throat. He wouldn't just... come over here... right!?

"Can you hold on...?" I ask him.

"Sure."

I half jog to answer the front door, holding my breath and praying that he wouldn't be standing there to greet me when I open it. I slowly crack it open a sliver and am beyond thankful to see Emily standing there. I frantically motion for her to please come in and she does so with a genuine smile.

"Um... Ryan. I have company. Can I talk to you... later?"

"Sure thing hun."

Did he just call me hun? I roll my eyes with my soft reply. "Okay. Bye."

Emily's smile soon fades when she see's my expression. "Who was that?"

"Um... Someone from College, back in Florida." I reply, swallowing hard.

"Just someone?"

I nodded, placing my phone back in my pocket and running my hands through my hair. "Someone... yea..."

Emily took off her coat, offering me a knowing smile. "Doesn't seem like just someone..."

I sat down on the couch with her and explained all about Ryan. She sighed a few times and told me not to worry too much about it. I, however, left out the part that he was in Forks as we spoke and wanted to meet with me. When I offered up this small detail, her look changed entirely.

"Wait... wait... He is here? In town?"

I nervously nodded.

"Does Jacob know?"

"No... I never told him anything about Ryan. We only dated for a while... A few brief months."

Emily glanced down to the floor, growing silent for a moment.

"If you don't mind me asking... Did you sleep with him?"

I bit my lip and she just nodded. "It didn't mean anything... I mean... we were both wasted from a college party thrown by his then roommate. And yes... It was... he was... my first... time." I went silent, feeling my cheeks flame red.

"You should call Jake." She said. "Like... now?"

I retrieved my cell and stared at the lit up screen, silently debating on how to explain this to Jake. Emily saw my struggle and continued.

"It would be better if he hears this from you now... right? Just get it out in the open?"

"Yea..." I sigh, nervously dialing him and counting the rings before it inevitably went to his voicemail.

Emily shrugged and looped her arm through mine. "Hey... He'll call you back and you can explain this all to him later. You'll feel better once it's off your chest. Come on, lets head to the store and take your mind off this till he calls back? No real point in pacing the floor here, right?"

I nodded and let her pull me out of the house. Emily drove us to the store and we each picked up a cart load of groceries we needed. All the while, I waited for Jacobs call, though it never came while we shopped. I nervously stole a glance at the clock on the wall by the checkout as we waited in line. It had been almost two hours since I'd called. A nervous, growing knot settled itself within my stomach, as I thought of him finding this out before I had the chance to reach him.

We were soon back to my house and parted ways, as I set out to put away the many bags of groceries. I thanked Emily before she left and she made me promise to call her if I needed anything, which I agreed to do.

I had just finished emptying the last bag, when I noticed it was now dark outside. I sighed and hated the fact that I hadn't heard from Jake yet. He had said he would be back later when he left this morning, but that was hours ago. A sinking feeling washed over me when I pondered this, thinking back to the time when I had foolishly spilled my guts to Ryan about Jacob on one drunken night, the same night we slept together. I had told him everything, my liquid courage proving to make me careless that night.

I felt my scalp prickle with anxiety from the thought. I had never told Ryan where Jacob lived, but I did show him a picture of him. Back when Jake still had his long hair. Even though it was an older photo now, Ryan would probably recognize him even now, if he ran into him in town. My sinking feeling grew worse and I decided then and there that I was done with waiting. I grabbed my truck keys and zipped up my coat, running out the front door in a rush.

I locked the house and spun around to head down the porch steps when I nearly collided with Jacob. His hands coming to grasp my arms in an effort to steady me. My breath caught in my throat when I met his gaze. His look was unreadable... angry... confused... hurt...

I felt him release my arms and step back away from me. I dropped my house keys and reached for him. He moved away from me further and shook his head once, averting his gaze. I lurched forward, placing myself directly in front of him. "You know... don't you?"

He reluctantly met my eyes and there was evident anger in them now. He quickly turned on his heel and ran down over the steps. His whole body shaking and blurring before me. I went after him.

"Jacob!"

I saw him pause and whirl back around. His eyes piercing right through me. "What!"

"It's not what you think. He means nothing to me... I-"

"Nothing? Nothing to you?" He seethed back at me. "That's not what he spent the morning telling me!"

"What?" I breathed, taking a few steps to him. "You saw him?"

"Yea... he came to the house looking for me."

"But how... did he... I mean I never..."

"He's the son of my boss, Bella! Emerson..."

I couldn't speak, or even think as he glared at me. "Your boss is Clark... Clark Emerson?"

Jacob was silent, but his look was seething. I began to feel myself get angry at his asinine reaction to all this. Here he was mad as hell with me, yet his past was far from perfect!

"You don't get to be a jackass about this!" I yelled back.

"Are you kidding me?" He seethed. Taking a few strides my way.

"No... You don't. I showed you nothing but understanding when you confessed everything you did to me! Remember?"

"You kept this from me for weeks!" He yelled back.

"I didn't think you needed to know! It's not like you were exactly tripping over yourself to tell me the many damn mistakes you made before! Stupid me! Here I was thinking that you loved me still, even when I was in Florida and yet here you were screwing Leah!"

Jacob shut his mouth, his look going from angry to anguished in a flash, and making me regret my harsh and biting reply. I reached for him, feeling awful immediately. "Oh... God... Jake... I..."

He flinched away from my touch and shook his head. "I did love you. Even when you were miles and fucking miles away from me. There were days I wanted to end it all just to escape the kind of soul ripping pain your absence left me with! The kind of torture you will never truly understand cause you weren't there. You don't fucking know!"

His words were harsh with me and made tears form in my eyes as I replied. "I know..."

Jacobs angry resolve slipped when he made eye contact with me again. I turned away from him and headed for my truck, angry tears streaming down my face. I reached the front steps and retrieved my keys, ready to jump in my truck and run from this fight. I stopped where I was when I felt his warm hand catch my arm. I pulled away from him and wouldn't turn to face him, feeling my emotion get the best of me. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't feel immense regret over how I'd left him like that, not knowing the kind of pain I'd really be putting him through.

I felt his hand reach for mine and lace our fingers together, turning me to face him. We just looked at each other, the moments passing by slowly before he spoke in a softer tone to me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that... You didn't know."

"I should have told you about Ryan... before now." I admitted, as he pulled me into a hug.

My anger faded the moment his arms had me. I melted into him and closed my eyes, treasuring the warmth and comfort of him.

"I wish you would have..."

"I'm sorry."

Jacob released me and met my gaze. His look laced with real fear when he spoke. "He wants you back, Bella."


	15. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**JPOV**

Growing up, my father had always told me to choose my battles wisely. In other words, not to worry about that which would eventually resolve itself. It was his life's motto, you could say. I had tried to live this way myself, but I could not apply that logic to the man standing in front of me now, proclaiming he and I loved the same woman. I tried to keep my wits about me, remembering that he was the son of my boss. I looked him over once more, uncertain if I'd even heard him right.

"I'm sure you weren't expecting me to say that..."

"No." I replied. "No I wasn't"

"I know it's crazy to have me pop in here and say it to you, but it's the truth."

My mind struggled to fully process what he was saying. Memories of all Bells and I had become lately, swarmed around me, making me lose focus briefly. What the fuck did this mean? Was she seeing this guy the whole time, trying to manage a long distance relationship while still having me here in person with her? Was she stringing me along? Or was she stringing him along? I thought back to all the times she had said I love you to me, and how very real and genuine her words sounded each time. No... She wasn't stringing me along. I knew this for certain. My heart told me so.

"You're probably wondering how I know about you?" Ryan asked.

"Not really... I'm sure Bella told you in Florida. That's why you're here now. Right?"

"In a matter of sorts..."

"Sorts?" I questioned.

"We dated for months. Back in Florida. I loved her... love her still."

My jaw clenched when I heard him say this. There was no fucking way what he felt for her would ever come close to the all consuming love I had for Bells. No way in hell.

"I gotta say..." He continued... "You're way bigger in person than in that picture she showed me one night."

"Picture?" I asked, feeling pleased to know he appeared to be intimidated by my size. Good. He should be.

Ryan nodded to me. "There was a picture she kept with her. One of the two of you. Your hair was longer. Maybe taken when you guys were younger? You two have history... I know... she told me."

"Well then Im sure you know what we mean to each other."

"I do..."

"So what are you doing here?" I asked, an obvious edge to my tone.

"Well... You see Jacob, I think we have a real opportunity here don't you?"

My eyes followed him as he reached in his back pocket and retrieved his checkbook, signing his name on the doted line of a blank one, and ripping it out to hand to me. I stared at this pompous ass in disbelief. "You can take this check and fill it in for whatever amount you desire. Use it for a house... to start over... Maybe even start your own auto body business. My father told me how well you work. Told me you're one his most valuable employees and a real asset to the shop. You could take this here check and really start fresh?"

I took the check from him, glancing down at it and shaking my head. "So this is how you work? Buy people off who are in your way huh? Well Ryan... Too bad for you, I'm nothing like that. Money means nothing to me. Bella is my world and no amount of money can buy that. Looks like you're shit outta luck."

I ripped the check in half and handed it back to him. My free hand clenching into a tight fist at the thought of him even trying to pull such bullshit.

"I've never had someone give me my money back."

"First for everything..." I replied, turning away from him to leave.

"Tell me Jacob... Exactly how do you plan on providing for her?"

His words stopped me where I stood, as I felt the familiar searing heat weave its way up my spine and spread out to my limbs. I slowly turned back to face him. "I don't see how that's any of your damn concern."

"Don't you think she deserves more."

"More? More than me you mean. More than this?" I replied, gesturing to my house.

He nodded once and shifted his weight nervously when I approached him.

"If you really knew Bella... I mean really knew who she was... the heart of who she is... you'd know that money doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot to her either. People like you don't know what it means to work hard for something. People like you...spoiled... entitled people like you, don't know what it is to get their hands dirty in a good, honest, hard days work. "

Ryan went silent as I spoke. His confident, cocky demeanor fading a bit before me.

"You're right. I don't know what that's like. I've had a lot just handed to me in life."

"That sucks for you."

"How do you figure."

"Cause you've never had the satisfaction of earning something on your own."

"Well you may have a good point there, Jacob. However, I want Bella back and I can offer her more. That's reality."

"You're right. You can offer her more money, but I know lots of rich people who are fucking miserable in life. Money doesn't seem to do them much good and you know what Ryan?" I replied, leaning in closer to him. "When it comes to Bella, money wont help you much either."

I moved back from him, seeing him struggle for a reply. "We had something."

"You think you did."

"I know we did. We slept together. Did she tell you that?"

I tried not to let my mind run away with me, but it did anyway. The thought of him with her physically, sent the heat from within me rising to new levels. This was my payback for sleeping with Leah. My karma... I was certain of it. I swallowed hard as I thought of how this must be the exact way Bells felt every time she pictured me with Leah like that.

"Doesn't matter." I angrily snapped in reply to him.

"Why doesn't it?"

"Because that was then and this is now."

"Well right now Jacob, I want Isabella back as my own and I am a very persistent man, one who gets what he wants, one way or the other. Now, I don't wanna have to involve my father any further but -"

"But you will." I cut him off. Taking another step toward him.

"That all depends on you. You're the one with the cards here. I strongly recommend you choose wisely."

With that he turned and retreated to his car. I watched him leave and felt my tremors start the moment he was out of sight. I ran straight for the woods and stripped down just in time before my tremors took hold of me and I phased.

I ran hard and fast for miles and miles, without direction or purpose. Just to run. Just to get my anger out. What was supposed to be a short sprint, turned into an all afternoon run. I had so much running through my head that I couldn't think straight.

My head was full of all he'd said. Of what his sudden being here meant for us. When dusk came, I quickly ran back home, showered, changed and headed for Bella. I noticed I had a missed call from her when I checked my cell at the stop light in town. I knew that she'd be worried for me by now and felt like shit for not noticing the call before.

By the time I reached her house, I was pretty pissed that she'd failed to mention the seemingly significant relationship she left back in Jacksonville. I was about to knock on the door when she came flying out of the house and nearly collided with me in the process. I instinctively reached out to steady her and met her gaze there on the porch.

The argument we had was one of the first we'd experienced since being together, and I was reminded why I hated fighting so much to begin with when I saw her eyes glisten with unshed tears from my harsh reply to something she'd yelled.

I couldn't help but feel angry at her for not telling me the damn truth to begin with, but then she reminded me of how understanding she'd been through my fucked up mess and my anger slowly faded. The truth was, I was being a bit of a jerk about it all. She clearly stated that while Ryan may have feelings for her, she didn't hold the same sentiment toward him.

It eased my worry some to know this, but didn't erase it entirely. After meeting Ryan today, it was clear to me that he was a persistent man and one with loads of money that he sure as hell had no problem shoveling out to get his way. I knew my job may be on the line at the garage from all this and as much as I loved that place, I loved Bella more.

"He wants you back, Bella." I confessed, seeing her eyes grow wide when they met mine.

"What? That's what he said to you?"

"Offered to pay me off... "

"WHAT!" She gasped, stepping back from me. "He offered you money to end us?"

"Yea. Needless to say, I'm pretty damn sure my job is not as secure as it was last week. Clark's his father... you know how that goes."

"No! I'll talk to him. Tell him how it is... I mean he cant just..."

"He showed no sign of taking the hint to back off this morning. He's been given whatever he wants most of his life. He's entitled."

"I don't care. You're not gonna lose your job because of some meaningless relationship I had in Florida."

As much as I hated to even ask the question lingering on my lips, I knew there was no way to avoid it. "Bells... are you sure there's nothing there... for him.-"

She silenced me with a sudden kiss. Her lips hungrily meeting mine and making me lose all train of prior thought.

"There's absolutely nothing there for him, or for anyone else... There's only you, Jacob."

I smiled and saw her return it before releasing her. She sighed heavily and pulled out her cell phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Ryan."

"Bells..."

"No Jake. I'm gonna fix this. Leave it to me." She said, kissing me on the cheek. "I'll be back soon. Trust me."

She turned to go and I took her hand back in mine, not sure if I wanted her alone with someone as snaky as Ryan appeared to be. She felt me hesitate and gave me a reassuring smile. I reluctantly released her hand and watched her as she backed out of her driveway. I waited just long enough until she was clearly out of sight and then ditched my clothes and phased, running through the forest that surrounded the main roads. I followed her as she drove through town, stopping at the diner we always ate at. I laid low in the cover of the trees and listened to the faint sound of her heartbeat, the pace of it quickening when she pulled in, giving away her nerves.

I soon saw Ryan's sleek black car pull in the empty slot beside her, a low growl reverberating through my chest at the sight of him with her as they walked into the diner together. I settled myself down on my belly there in the cover of the trees, and waited for her to exit.

The many minutes passed and they had yet to emerge. My mind began to lay cruel tricks on me, making me think that maybe she was confused about how she felt for him after all. Maybe the foundation we'd laid together wasn't as strong as I thought it was?

I huffed and rose, shaking off the feeling and pacing back and forth in front of the large oak tree there. I heard her laughter and snapped my head up to see them come out of the restaurant. They were both smiling and hugged once before Bella got in her truck and drove away. I waited for a moment and watched him as he unlocked his vehicle and made a call. To whom though, I wasn't sure. I quickly whirled around and began following her home. When we were three miles from her yard, I picked up the pace and beat her there by a few short minutes, giving me barely enough time to slip my clothes back on and run in through their house, throwing myself on the couch and flipping on the t.v.

Bella came in soon behind me and paused when she saw me sprawled on their sofa. She giggled when she approached me. "You know Jake... you're one of the best men I know, but you're a horrible liar!" She laughed, tossing off her coat.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I replied, feigning ignorance.

"You don't?" She smirked, placing her hands on her hips in a very motherly like fashion.

I got to my feet, knowing the jib was up an bowing my head in defeat. "You caught me. I followed you. What the hell did you think I would do?"

"Trust me." She chimed with a shake of her head.

"I do trust you. It's him I don't trust. And with good reason! How would you feel if Leah suddenly popped in?"

Bella grew immediately silent, her smile fading when she met my gaze. "Okay... you win... I get it."

The tone she spoke her response in caught my attention. I approached her, lifting her chin up to make eye contact. "Hey... I wasn't saying it to be cruel, just said it so you'd know where I was coming from?"

"I do."

"Really?"

She nodded and kissed me quickly before darting off into the kitchen. Something told me this conversation was far from over and when I followed in after her, it was plain to see how right I was about that.

She was already scrubbing away at the sink full of dirty dishes. I sighed, coming up from behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist. "You gonna tell me what's whirling around in that beautiful mind of yours, or are you gonna make me coax it out of you?"

"It's nothing."

"It's something." I countered.

"No"

"Yes."

She continued on with the dishes and I was okay to wait. I placed my chin on her shoulder, content at our closeness while waiting for her to spill the inevitable. Whatever the hell that may be.

When she rinsed the last dish, she finally broke her silence. "I think about it you know? Sometimes?"

"Think about what, honey?"

"You and ... her... Leah." She replied in a whisper, slowly turning to face me. "I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me."

"It didn't mean anything to me."

"I know and I have no right to feel that way. I left... I get that."

"You have a right to feel however you want to. I understand. You don't think I'm bothered to think about you and Ryan?"

"I guess... it's different."

"How do you figure?"

"I mean, Ryan doesn't even come close to... you..." She sighed, a blush forming on her face. It was then that I understood where she was headed with this. "Leah's... Well Leah. She's tall and beut-"

I didn't even let her finish the thought. My lips claimed hers, my tongue sweeping her bottom lip. She eagerly gave me access and I pressed her against the counter. She stopped for air and shook her head.

"What?" I breathed to her.

"Is this your way of distracting me Jacob Ephraim?"

"No... It's my way of reminding you that no other woman will ever come close to you... Not in any way. And if you forget again..." I leaned back into her, our lips an inch apart... "I'll be sure to remind you, sweetheart. I promise."


	16. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks SO MUCH for the reviews! Trying my best to post on a regular basis with this story! :)**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

I drove through town, my hands curled tightly around the steering wheel in anger, as I thought back to Ryan having the damn nerve to try to pay Jacob off. Who the hell did he think he was? I guess people like him with large amounts of money, never cease to understand the true concept of decent humanity. What's that saying... Good morals are taught not inbred?

I pulled into the desolate diner parking lot and waited for Ryan to show up. I had called him on the way over, wanting to set his ass straight. He was conniving and manipulative and had the money needed to fuel whatever selfish and destructive desire he wished. I, however, knew a good cop in town who wouldn't mind scaring the daylights out of him if needed. He just so happened to be my father and I would surely use this if he pushed me to it. I had cause Jacob enough trouble when I left. That mess was still raw and unhandled, and I wasn't gonna let Ryan come breezing through town and wreck more for him because of me.

I saw Ryan suddenly pull in beside me, slipping out of his car with his two hundred dollar shades on. I rolled my eyes, as I got out and met him at the diner entrance, his hand touched my cheek when he spoke. I flinched away from it and his smile soon faded when he saw the angry look on my face.

"You sounded cheerful on the phone to meet?"

"Well would you have come if I was a bitch to you?" I replied sharply.

"Well truth be told... I think you're really sexy when you're angry."

I scoffed and we soon took our seats in the corner booth.

"This won't take long..."

"Well now that's a damn shame..." He arrogantly replied.

"Ryan... look... We dated for a little while in Florida and yes, we had a good time, but -"

"But?"

"But that's it. I was never in love with you and you knew that from the start."

"Hmm... I don't recall you complaining or hearing you protest when we were in bed."

His snarky comment had me fuming already. "Look..." I said more sternly. "We. Had. Nothing."

"Nothing huh? Funny..."

"Why is that funny?"

"I just find it humorous that you're saying all this now and yet before-"

"Before doesn't matter." I harshly interjected.

"Mmm - hmm"

"Stop it!"

"Stop what." He replied, his hand coming to reach for mine on the table.

I moved my hands into my lap and shook my head in frustration. "You're really going to cause trouble for Jake like this? If you cared for me at all, you would leave and stop all this menacing bullshit you're creating by being here."

"I think me being here bothers you because it shakes you to know that you may have something better waiting for you than just small town Jacob Black."

"You arrogant son of a -"

"Now Now." He silenced me by bringing his finger to my lips. "We don't want that pretty mouth of yours to utter such foul language when I can think of a much better use for it."

I stared at him in disbelief at his ego. What the hell was I thinking even being close with him before? Oh that's right - I wasn't.

"You need to leave. Go back to Florida and date someone new."

"I don't want someone new. I want you."

"Well I'm taken."

"For now... For now."

My eyes narrowed at him as I searched his face, seeing the determination there. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means sweetheart, that you need a man that can take care of you in every way."

If the diner was not suddenly filling now with the usual crowded supper rush, I would have slapped that cocky smirk right off his arrogant face.

"Jacob takes care of me just fine. Thank you."

"Does he now? Does he really? You mean to tell me that it doesn't bother you in the least to know that if you stay with him, this is where you'll reside forever. In the small, Podunk town of Forks?"

"You shouldn't judge a place you don't even know." I replied angrily.

"I know you."

"No you don't"

"I beg to differ Isabella."

"It's just Bella."

"My mistake. Come on, what can he really offer you?"

I glared at him long and hard before forming my witty reply. "Something you surely cannot because you've never processed it. You wanna know what that is?"

"Enlighten me."

"That's the quality of a good man. One with courage, dignity and self respect. One whose love is unconditional and as real and true as anything I've ever seen. And certainly not one I would ever risk losing for the small and petty likes of you."

I got up from the table and felt him suddenly and firmly grab my wrist, halting me where I stood and making my skin crawl. "You should reconsider."

"And if you value your own life, you should let me go. Like now." I said, yanking my wrist from his grasp and trying to leave. He suddenly stood and placed himself in my path.

"I'm not afraid of Jacob. But you should be afraid for him."

I snapped my head up, fear clawing at my throat from his tone. "Leave him alone."

"Call off your little relationship and I will do just that. Oh and when you leave here with me, you should act like this meeting went well. You know, smile, hell even laugh a bit. We wouldn't want the people in town to already form a bad opinion of me? Would we? Being new in town and all."

"You're something else..."

"You know, there's a lot more than just Jakes job he stands to lose here. You're a smart girl, Bella. Be wise, be very wise."

"Are you threatening Jacob?"

"I'm simply stating the facts here..."

"Don't drag him in this. It clearly has nothing to do with him. If you're angry with me for breaking it off, than I'm sorry, but don't punish Jacob because of it Ryan."

"You really care for this man don't you? I find that odd when here I am, offering you the finer things in life and you're so carelessly tossing them to the side and for what? For some small town, high school left over love triangle gone wrong?"

My anger was beyond fuming when we paid the bill and walked to the front of the diner. I wanted nothing more than to slap him!

"You don't know anything about Jacob."

"I know way more than you think, Bella." He stated firmly, his tone catching my attention, as he opened the diner door for me to exit with him. "Enough chatter for now. I'll be in touch Bella. Trust me."

I faked the best smile and even a small laugh as we left, trying to follow whatever the hell he told me to save Jacobs job, or spare him from whatever the hell else Ryan had up his sleeve. When I was securely in my truck, I let out a long sigh of relief and hit the gas for home.

My head swirled with the things Ryan had said. How could I save Jacob from all this? What the hell did Ryan mean? He knows way more than I think? Like what? I was so distracted that I nearly ran the red stop light in front of me. I slammed on the brakes and tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I waited there. I was torn between pretending the evening went well or spilling my guts to Jacob. I wanted to tell him what he said, but I knew how much Jake had on his plate already and this would only add to that large burden. I didn't want that for him. I owed it to Jacob to try and fix this mess with Ryan myself. No matter what that meant.

I noticed Jake was sprawled out on the couch when I came in through the front door. He was far from relaxed looking, which led me to think he hadn't been on that couch very long, pair that with the guilty and apprehensive look he wore upon seeing me come back, made me know he had surely followed me in town. I was not surprised, not in the least. That was the way he was and I wouldn't change a thing about his protective nature. I loved him for it.

I bit my tongue and chose to address the fact that he followed me first. His brown eyes met mine and I didn't have the heart to even pretend to be cross with him for it. After all, you always protect the ones you love, right? And that's exactly what I intended to do now. Hell would have to freeze first before I allowed Ryan and his power trip to hurt Jacob. He had been through enough and I was not so weak as to cower down to Ryan's vague threats. On the contrary, if he thought he would cause enough trouble to separate me from Jacob, he was sadly mistaken. I had foolishly let him go before, and now that he was mine, I was never making that damn mistake again. Jacob had all of me, and I intended to keep it that way... Forever.


	17. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

Jacob left shortly after dinner to run patrol with Jared and Paul. Try as I may, I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned most of the night, my mind racing with thoughts of Ryan and weighed with guilt for not telling Jacob. While I wanted to keep the burden of this situation off him, deep down I knew I needed to tell him. I finally managed to doze off around one in the morning and awoke to the sound of Jacob slipping in through my window a few hours later. I sat up, a bit startled from the sound.

"Sorry honey, didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I haven't slept much anyway." I sighed, gesturing for him to come join me.

He climbed into bed with me and I nestled myself into him. My head coming to rest on his chest. I listened to the sound of his heart thrumming away. My own heart pushing me to tell him.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure..." He replied, as I raised my head to look at him.

"I know you're beat from patrol..."

"It's fine honey. What's on your mind?"

"Ryan..."

"Your meeting with him yesterday?"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip in nervous fashion. "I should have told you earlier."

He reached his hand up, tracing his thumb across my bottom lip with a knowing smirk. "I figured you were still mulling it over. You didn't really say too much about it."

"He's... determined. Says you stand to lose more than just your job."

Jacobs eyes narrowed and he sat up, bringing me along with him. "A threat?"

"Seems so. He didn't elaborate on it and he said if I ended things with you, he'd leave you alone. I told him there was no way in hell but he insisted. I didn't tell you at first because I figured with everything going on with Sam and Emily... the pack."

"Bells... All that's important to me but you're my first priority. No secrets okay?"

I nodded in agreement and brought my lips to his, kissing him quickly and making a mental note to tell him the truth from now on.

"Did he say anything else?"

"Not really. I don't know what the hell he's thinking. We weren't even together that long. He did say before we left the diner that he knew more about you than I thought. "

Jacobs eyes narrowed again. "Oh really. He thinks so huh?"

"Yes. I mean... there's no way he could know about the pack right?"

"I can't imagine how. Either way honey, we'll deal with him together. Come on." He replied, motioning for me to lay down with him. "Get some sleep."

I was able to rest easier now that he was here with me but my worry didn't cease. I feared that this was the just the beginning of shit to come from Ryan.

The sound of Charlie coming home made my eyes wander open and I soon felt Jacob stir beneath me. He was beat and I hated to wake him, but feared the consequences of Charlie finding us in here together. I gently shook Jake away. "Hey... Dad's home. You gotta go."

Jacob grumbled and got up, lightly kissing me on the cheek and escaping through the window while Charlie took a shower.

I laid there wide awake until the sun began to peer in through my window, alerting me a new day was here. I got dressed and poured myself a hot cup of coffee in the kitchen. My thoughts still consumed with Ryan. Was there a way he could know about Jacob? About what he really was? About the pack? I couldn't see how but then again, nothing should come as a surprise to me anymore.

I wandered to the front door to retrieve the morning paper from the porch when I stopped and noticed Sam's truck pulling into the yard. I paused there and waved to him as he got out, his look somber when he approached me.

"Where's Jacob?" He asked in a low tone.

"He should be home by now. He left here about an hour ago."

I could tell something was bothering him and took the open window of fleeting opportunity to chance asking him what that was.

"Why don't you come in for some coffee?" I offered, opening the door wider for him.

He nodded once and stepped through it, following me silently into the kitchen where I poured him a cup of coffee. I handed it to him and he even thanked me. My heart warmed at the familiar tone I heard him speak in. The kind of tone he used to have when he was the real Sam. We sat down at the table together and I waited patiently for him to tell me whatever was on his mind.

"I've made such a mess..." He sighed, glancing down into his mug. "I've pushed those who care about me most away. Even Emily."

I reached my hand over, and laid it on top of his, showing him some kind of support without words. He met my gaze and I was stunned to see his eyes glisten with unshed tears.

"Sam..."

"She want's a divorce." He said. His voice strained.

"What..." I gasped, unable to fully absorb what he just said.

"She says... That she'll always love me, but she doesn't know how to love the person I've become."

I watched in horror as a tear rolled down his cheek. His words left me immobile. Divorce?

"She told me late last night. I can't blame her. I've hurt her... over and over... Who would stay with someone like that? She has every right to leave."

I moved my chair closer to him and listened intently as he continued.

"I don't want her to go, Bella. I love her. I know I've been such an ass but I love her still. And now... I've ruined any future for our son. He's gonna grow up in a broken home because of my choices."

"Sam..."

"No it's true. Emily's taken the brunt of this from me. We don't even sleep in the same room anymore. I don't want her to leave me. But I think it's too late."

"It's not too late." I sighed, taking his hand securely in mine. "It's never too late."

"She's already said she wants the papers drawn up. I think I've pushed her too far."

He went silent then, taking his hand from mine and placing his head in his hands. A sob broke from him and I felt my own tears well up. My heart shattered for him and I moved without thinking, hugging him as he cried. It was a soul aching kind of cry and one I had never heard come from him.

"It's not too late." I whispered reassuringly to him.

"I cant lose her. I can't."

"You won't Sam. I know this feels impossible right now but I know how much Emily loves you."

"I'm so sorry. For everything. I wanna take it all back."

"I know. It's okay."

He pulled back from me, his eyes red and sincere. "I gotta go see Jacob."

I nodded to him and saw him get to his feet. I walked with him to the door where he stopped and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you Bella. For everything. I'm gonna try like hell to fix this. All of it."

"You're welcome Sam. I'm here if you need anything. Don't hesitate to ask."

"Will do." He sighed and turned to leave. I stood on the steps and watched him take off. A few tears slid down over my cheeks, as I felt the first ray of real hope that maybe... just maybe... This was the beginning of Sam's turn around. I could only pray that it truly wasn't the end for him and Emily.

I grabbed my jacket and keys by the door and headed over to her house. Thinking maybe I could talk to her. See where her head was at with all this.

When I arrived there, she was sitting on her porch with her coffee, a contemplative look on her face. She saw me pull in and kindly waved as I got out.

"Hey you." She chimed, acting as if things were fine, though I knew better.

"Hey..." I replied, hugging her and joining her there on the step.

She looked at me and I saw the wheels start to turn. "Sam's been to see you this morning hasn't he?"

I nodded and nervously tucked my hair behind my ear.

"So you know about the divorce?"

"He told me... Em..."

"I know... I wasn't expecting the words to leave my own mouth either last night, but they did. Maybe they needed to."

"Emily he loves you still. I cant even begin to imagine how hard all this has been on you, but Sam realizes his mistakes. He loves you... very much..."

"A lot has happened. You can only damage a relationship so much before there's nothing left to come back to."

"I think he's ready to change. I really do. He came over looking for Jacob and he's on his way there to see him now."

"To see Jake?" Emily asked with a wide eyed expression.

"Yea. He's... a wreck..."

Emily sighed heavily and nodded. "I know the feeling."

I threw my arm around her as she laid her head on my shoulder. "Don't give up on him yet Em. He just may come back... "

We sat there in silence, taking in the morning sunlight. I didn't feel there was need for anymore words than I had already spoken, I just wanted her to know that she had my support. That she wasn't alone in all this. Sam and Emily were like family to me and I could only hope they would find a way through this hurt and back to each other before their son was born.


	18. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN **

**(JPOV)**

I arrived back home just as the sun was rising. I dragged myself up over the steps and soon heard my father clear his throat from the kitchen. His tone laced with genuine worry when he spoke. "You're running on fumes son. You need a break from something... and since I damn well know that something won't be Bella anytime soon, you should consider taking a night or two off from patrol. Being this exhausted is when things slip through the gaps here... things get missed if you're not careful."

"I'll be okay dad..." I replied as my eyes closed.

"Mmm - hmm... Pride cometh before a fall my boy."

"Sure..." I mumbled, unable to resist the urgent pull of sleep any longer.

I awoke a few hours later to my father shaking me. "Jake... Jacob... Son wake up."

"What?" I groaned, trying to turn away from him, irritable from exhaustion.

"It's Sam."

My eyes flew widely open and I sat up. "Sam? What?"

"He's outside waiting for you. Has been for a while now. I told him you were sleeping and to come back but he insisted on waiting. He's been sitting in his truck waiting ever since.

I shook my head and got to my feet, wondering what kind of trouble he had stirred up this time and already grimacing when I reached the kitchen sink, splashing cold water on my face and grabbing a hot cup of coffee on my way out.

"Jake..."

I turned and glanced back at my father, taking heed to the warning in his tone.

"I know dad." I replied with a nod as I left the house.

Despite Sam's bad choices and hostility lately, my father still loved him like a son. He was still family... regardless.

I took a deep breath, feeling the crisp mid morning air fill my lungs, as I walked out to greet him. My eyes watching him closely when he stepped out of his truck.

"Jacob." He sighed with a nod when I reached him.

"Sam." I replied with a nod of my own, waiting for him to show me some kind of the usual hatred. The same way he always had since that night. I was caught off guard when his eyes met mine, seeing the sincerity and genuine humbleness in them, and for just one damn second I was brought back to a time when I held the utmost respect for this man... my friend... my brother. I swallowed hard at the growing lump in my throat and stared back at him, waiting for him to speak.

The moments passed and he remained silent, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and changing his stance every ten seconds or so. He looked weary, tired, uncertain and worse... afraid.

"Look... whatever it is... I-" I began but was silenced by his sudden blunt confession.

"I owe you an apology Jacob."

I lifted my head to meet his gaze, feeling disbelief settle over me.

"Wha-?"

"No I do Jacob. Just listen to me. Just for a minute?"

I nodded to him in reply and tightened my grip on the coffee mug in my hands, as memories of what I'd stripped from him months ago ran through my head.

"What happened... with us... it wasn't your fault Jake. I was angry and unreasonable about Leah. And I was... wrong to try and banish you from this land. Your land. You had every right to step up. To challenge me for it."

I shook my head in strong protest. The scars along his face staring angrily back at me now and reminding me of what a monster I was. "But Sam I-"

"No." He stated firmly, taking a step to me. I froze where I was, realizing that this was the closest we'd been in months. I looked away from him, my eyes trailing down to the scars on his arms. My memory flashing red with the blood that had once poured from them as he spoke. "Jacob... I'm sorry. For everything. I've only caused more damage since then... more pain... for Emily... for everyone."

I heard his voice crack and felt my throat nearly close when I saw him choke up. "She's leaving me. Emily... She... wants a divorce and I have no one to blame but myself. She's tried. I've put that woman through more hell than anyone deserves... She's had enough."

I swallowed hard, setting my coffee cup down on the hood of his truck and struggling to find my voice again. "Emily loves you. It's the most real love I've ever seen."

"She used to... I've left her all alone with this pregnancy. Shit Jake... you've been there for her more than I have and I'm her husband."

"You weren't yourself and Emily knows that."

"What am I supposed to tell my little boy? I've made such a fucking mess."

"You're gonna tell him how his father lost his footing in this world for a while, but found his way back just in time. That's what you'll tell him."

"I hope it's not too late."

"It won't be... it can't be." I replied.

He glanced up and met my gaze, his eyes glossy with emotion. "You're one hell of a leader you know that? You were born for this Jake. It's in your blood."

I watched him turn to go and spoke up before he reached for his truck door. "I learned from the best."

He stopped where he stood, his hand lingering there on the truck door handle as it opened. "I didn't teach you much..."

"You taught me everything Sam." I replied, taking a step toward him, feeling my emotions grab me by the throat as I spoke through them. "You taught me how to be this. How to be a leader. How to fight. You went first Sam. You took the brunt of all this before me and I owe you everything for that."

He nodded once and I saw his tears spill over. "Thanks... means a lot coming from you."

"It's the truth. I know you came here to apologize... But... Sam what I did... was..."

"I brought it on myself." He interjected.

"It was wrong. I can't even close my fucking eyes without seeing it in my head."

He shut his truck door again and approached me further. "Don't blame yourself. I provoked you and you rose to that challenge Jacob. You are a natural born leader and that's nothing to ever be sorry for."

I couldn't speak as he turned from me to go. How could he just forgive me? How the hell does one simply forgive something like that?

He started his truck and turned back for a brief moment, extending his hand to me. I glanced down at it and didn't hesitate to take it firmly in mine.

"You're my brother Jacob. Always..."

"Always." I replied, releasing his hand and removing my coffee from his hood as he climbed in his truck to leave.

"I'll see you around. Got a mess to clean up... hopefully while I still can." He sighed, waving once as he left.

I stood there in disbelief, watching him drive off and feeling at peace with him for the first time in months. I heard my fathers voice come from behind me and turned to see him there in the now open doorway.

"Son... Everything ok?"

I nodded and headed back inside with him, seeing his observant eyes on me as I replied. "Not yet... But I think they will be... soon..."

Billy smiled and patted me on the shoulder as we sat at the table and had coffee together. "See son, things always have a way of coming back around... working out. Sam has a lot of bridges to mend, but I have hope he'll get there."

"Me too... Emily wants a divorce." I admitted, seeing his look grow grim.

"She's been through a lot with him. But real love..." He paused and chuckled, steeling a glance over to the picture on the fridge of he and my mother taken years ago. "Real love only comes but once in a lifetime and those who get blessed enough to encounter it, need to hang onto it with ever fiber of their being... through the good and the awful... forever. Love like that... is something real special. Your mama... she loved me like no other. Her unconditional love saw me through some of my worst times and holds me together still. I think of us as still married, we're just on different schedules now."

He offered me half a smile and I returned it, seeing the adoration he wore to this day on his face whenever he spoke of her. I couldn't help but think of Bella as we sat there.

"You think real love like that can conquer anything?"

"I do." He sighed. "When I look at you and Bella... It reminds me of your mother and I when we were young. Fierce love like that tells you to bet against the odds, to defy them together. I see the way you look at her from across the room and I know where your heart is son. Take it from an old man who knows... love her with no limits and make no apologies for it."

"I worry sometimes..." I confessed.

"About?"

"Her safety in all this."

"Bella is as strong willed as they come. You don't think I didn't worry the same way over your mother back then? She would hear nothing of it. Always told me we would face whatever may come our way together."

"And you did." I replied.

"We sure did. She'd be so proud of you son. If she could see you today. You love just the way she used to. Your heart reminds me so much of hers."

"I hope she would be..."

"She would be... Trust me son."

We sat there in comfortable silence as he finished his morning paper. I took this time to reflect on all that Sam had said and felt grateful that we'd finally mended some of this. It may have been only a small step in the right direction, but it was a start and I would try to help him fix all this to the best of my ability.

Despite the many trials and tribulations they had faced recently, he and Emily still loved each other. That love remained. It was constant and ever present... of this I was certain.


	19. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

**(BPOV)**

As the morning passed, I found myself riddled with nervous energy over Sam and Emily. I took a long drive to clear my thoughts. The music loud but my thoughts proving to be even louder as the miles passed. I was soon driving down a familiar dirt road. One I had not seen in years and one I never expected to be parked at now. As I pulled up in front of the large and now abandoned former Cullen house, my mind began to wander through the past. The past I shared with Edward.

I stepped out of my truck, my feet moving without any real destination as I graced up over the familiar stairway that led to the large front door. The air was now damp around me as the threat of fresh rain loomed above. My hand reached for the door and I was astonished to find it unlocked. My breath caught in my throat when I pushed it opened and crossed the threshold. The door was somehow heavier than I remembered and the scent that I had loved back then was gone. Nothing but stale air left in its wake for me now. Why was I here? Truth be told... I didn't know.

I wandered aimlessly through the empty house, seeing the white vacant walls and remembering the oil paintings that used to hang there not so long ago. I couldn't help myself from wandering up the long staircase to Edwards old room. Memories of us swirled around me when I entered. To my shock, he had left everything in its place. I sucked in a sharp breath when I noticed his book shelves still full and his clothes still hung up in the closet. He had taken nothing with him when they left.

I jumped back when I suddenly heard the sound of the front door opening and firmly slamming shut down stairs. My heart lodged itself painfully in my throat and my skin pricked with anxiety, as the unsettling sound of approaching footsteps surrounded me. I quietly moved into Edwards old closet. Slowly closing the door and holding my breath, silently praying that whoever was in here with me was unaware of my presence.

I listened to music start to play and had to stifle a gasp when I recognized the familiar tune of Edwards lullaby he had composed for me years ago. My head began to spin as I waited there with baited breath. The music bringing back unwanted memories of our time shared together.

The closet door suddenly whipped open and I let out a scream, one that was soon silenced by a hand covering my mouth. I stared at Ryan in shock as his hand lowered. His eyes wide when he released me.

"What the hell are you doing here? Do you make it a habit of just breaking and entering Isabella? One would think that the daughter of the chief of police here in town would have enough common sense to avoid such reckless endeavors?"

I couldn't speak as he awaited my reply. What the hell was he doing here? In the Cullens house no less! My blood ran cold as he approached me, placing his face a mere breath from mine when he spoke again.

"Did you follow me here?"

I shook my head and voiced my fears. "You're not who you say you are... are you? How do you know about my father being chief? And why are you staying here in this house?"

His hand touched my cheek in what was meant to be a loving gesture, but it made my skin crawl and I flinched away from him.

"You have a lot of questions Isabella. Ones I think you already know the answers to. You would be wise not to play dumb here. After all, we are all alone. No one would be able to hear us..."

He backed us up against the far wall, his body nearly pinning mine there. "You wouldn't be so stupid..." I snapped back at him, our eyes locked on each others.

"Wouldn't I? And why not."

"Because you value your own pathetic life too much to lose it. And we both know that Jacob would hunt you down like the animal that you are, and beat you senseless if you ever laid one finger on me. Not even daddy's money could save your sorry ass then."

He backed away from me. His look angry and his eyes narrowing as he went. "You're mouthy."

"I'm right and you know it."

"Really now? Don't you think you place way too much confidence in that boy toy of yours. After all... that's what he is... a boy."

"He's twice the man you'll ever be." I spat back in reply and went to leave the room, desperate to get out of that house. My attempt proved to be futile when Ryan stepped in front of the door. His look menacing and evil.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving."

"Says who?

"Says me. Right now."

"You're hot when you're pissed off. Anyone ever tell you that."

I rolled my eyes and made another attempt to leave. Ryan further blocked the door way and slowly but surely my resolve began to slip and my fear took hold of me. I backed away from him and crossed my arms, pushing aside the overwhelming fear I felt.

"What are you trying to pull? You still haven't answered my damn question. Why are you here? In this house? Do you know who once-"

"The Cullens." Ryan interrupted.

I went silent, feeling like someone had slapped me when he laughed. "You know Bella, for a bright girl, you can be really daft sometimes. Don't look so shocked that I know their name. I told you I knew a lot more than you thought? Didn't I? Did you think I was simply bluffing?"

I remained silent and backed up further as he stalked toward me. One step at a time as he continued to explain himself.

"You see... I've been studying this town for a while now. I know all about the Cullens..."

I shook my head in disbelief. "No... How..."

"Let me clarify. You are right Isabella. Very right indeed. For I am not who I appear to be. Not in the least."

His face was once again too close to mine and my fear washed over me when he spoke. "What do you think your wolf would think if he knew you were here with me all alone like this? Wouldn't look very good would it? So I agree that you should leave... but fear not Isabella... we won't be apart for too long..."

He moved away from me and gestured toward the doorway. I made a mad run through it and down over the stairs, nearly tripping over myself as I left and stumbled my way back into my truck. My hands shaking so bad that I could hardly start it.

I sped off like a bat out of hell and headed straight for La' Push. This wasn't possible! Ryan knows about Jake! Knows about what he is... and the Cullen's! What else did he know and why did he know it?

I threw my truck in park once in Jake's yard and saw Billy greet me with a wide smile. One that sliped away almost immediately when he saw the terrified look on my face. He turned and yelled toward the house just as my head spun again. "Jacob."

I saw him emerge just as I reached the front of the house. His look already worried when he saw me. I went to him and threw my arms around him. I needed to feel his strong arms around me, to be close to him, needed to bask in that for a moment... just a moment.

"What is it honey?" He asked. His tone warm and concerned.

I pulled away from him and took him by the hand back inside. Billy fast behind us. I had nothing to hide from Billy and welcomed him in to our conversations like this.

"Bells ... What's going on."

I whirled around to face him once we were in the kitchen. "It's Ryan."

Jacobs look grew fierce when he replied. "What? What about him? Did he do something... Hurt you?"

I shook my head as he cradled my face. His brown eyes sweeping over me once more to be sure.

"No Jake... He knows... everything..." I breathed to him.

Jakes eyes met mine, his shock mirroring my own. "What... How?"

"I don't know. But he's not at all who he says he is. He knows of the Cullens. He's ... living in their old house. I... saw him there... Just now."

"What were you doing there?" He asked, and I could hear the apprehension in his voice at the mention of them. I moved myself closer to him and clarified my reasoning.

"I saw Sam this morning... and then I went to Emily's."

"So you know Emily wants a divorce?"

"Yes... Sam told me when he came by earlier. He apologized for everything and left to see you. I went over to their house... Hoping I could talk her out of it but she was so unsure of everything with them now. I let her be so she could think and I went for a drive to clear my own head. I ended up there. I don't know why..."

"And Ryan was there?"

"Yea. I didn't think anyone was at first. The door was open and I went in. He came back when I was in..." I paused when I met Jacobs gaze. Seeing he already knew what I was about to say.

"Edwards room?"

I nodded to him, feeling immense guilt now for even going there in the first place. I should've never gone.

"I didn't... I mean I..."

He silenced me with a kiss. It was tender and sweet and I felt equally undeserving of it, considering where I'd just come from.

"You don't need to explain. The important thing is you're alright. Did he say anything else?"

"Just that I was right about him not being who he claimed to be." I sighed, reaching for his hand and lacing our fingers together.

"Did Ryan tell you exactly what he knew?" Billy asked.

"He knows about Jake... maybe all of them I assume."

Billy's eyes narrowed and he shook his head. "Something is off about all this. Who gave him permission to reside in that house? Maybe he's a friend of theirs?"

Jake scoffed and tightened his hand in mine. "What? To keep him as a human blood bank? Supply on demand?"

"I don't know son."

"The strange thing was... All of Edwards things were still there. In his room. Untouched even..." I added, trying to put the pieces of this together and coming up short.

"You think Edward has something to do with this?" Billy asked.

"It wouldn't surprise me." Jake scoffed.

"I don't feel that's it though. I mean... what could Ryan possibly have to offer him?"

Jake went mute then, his eyes coming to meet mine. "You..."

The room went eerily silent as we all pondered this. Even Billy's normally calm look changed to an angry expression.

"She made a choice to leave him then. It was her choosing." Billy said, his tone low and edgy.

"That doesn't mean he's over her. You know how they work." Jake replied.

I released Jake's hand and sunk down into one of the kitchen chairs at the table. My head whirling and all the pieces starting to form together for me as their conversation continued.

"She's not his damn property. If he thinks he can toy with us on our land no less, he's got another think coming. I'll call the elders in if I have to." Billy huffed in frustration.

"That might be a good idea. I'll talk to the pack tonight on patrol and set something up on our end as well."

I felt the room start to close in around me, as I was forced to face the reality that I'd been running from and desperately trying to ignore since I'd left Edward that day. I may not be his property... but I was promised to become one of them... A promise we made to a much higher power. I tried to stop the fear, but it hit me anyway. Leaving my hands shaking and my heart pounding.

It all started to click together... Ryan being in my life in Florida... Showing back up here now... claiming to want me back. Living in the Cullen's old house. He was working for someone...

Someone with more power than the Cullen's ever dreamed of possessing. Someone evil and ruthless. Flashbacks of Edwards promise to change me that day in the clearing after the newborn battle, came rushing back to my mind. It was something I'd ignorantly tried to leave behind, but knew would inevitably catch up with me. That day was now here.

I had selfishly chosen to pretend that I could simply get the human life I'd so foolishly almost thrown away before. That maybe... just maybe the cards would stack in my favor this time. I wanted to be me... just me... just Bella. No supernatural powers to behold... The only other thing I wanted to be known as someday was Jacobs wife and mother of his children.

My time in Florida had taught me to value myself and to embrace what scares me. To challenge what limits me. To accept that which I cannot change and to love the person who'd always had my heart from the beginning.

Now that I'd tasted what divine happiness was with Jake... I never wanted to let it go. I wanted to keep it for as long as humanly possible. We had just begun our journey together. And I wanted a lifetime with him.

I was vaguely aware of Jake and Billy's bantering over this in the background as the hard truth hit me. Ryan surely wasn't who he professed to be. He was a puppet and Aro was the master. He was being used the same way Victoria had snatched that poor young man to use as her own toy... with the newborn army serving as her own puppets then. This was no different. If anything, it was worse. Aro made Victoria look weak in comparison to him.

My time of blissful ignorance had seemed to run out. I had a debt to pay and Aro never let a debt go uncollected.

I stood up from the table and tried to find my voice. Say something... Tell them. My mind coaxing me to speak up but my mouth forgetting how to.

I felt Jake's hand come to catch mine. "Bells..."

I turned and met his worried stare as I spoke my feared truth to him. "It's Aro. The Volturi."

My eyes remained on his own and I watched him process this. His look changing from my Jacob to Alpha in an instant. "They're coming for you..."

"I made a promise before. And then I ran to Jacksonville and never looked back till now. He's been following me all along. Through College and now back here. It explains how Ryan knows what he does. Aro's using him. The same way Victoria used the Newborn army to keep tabs on me... to find me."

"I'm calling the elders... now." Billy said sternly from behind us.

"I need to get the others. Hold an emergency meeting."

I nodded and went to release his hand so he could go. I felt him resist and lace our fingers back together. "Come with me honey."

I went willingly with him to the garage. My head so full with all this. My thoughts screaming at me that I wanted more time. I swallowed back my emotion and kept myself together, as Jake stripped off his shirt, leaving him in nothing but low slung jeans. The sight of him still making me blush and causing butterflies to invade my stomach.

My mother had once told me you know you've found love when you never lose the butterflies. I hoped this would be the case with us. That if I was lucky enough to share years with this man, that we would never lose the butterflies in spite of life's demanding nature.

"I have to phase, get everyone here. Paul and Brady are out on patrol run this afternoon. I have to go get them. They can help me alert the others." He paused mid thought and approached me, pulling me to him. His eyes dark, and fierce with determination as they met mine. "They're not gonna touch you."

I nodded to him and basked in his warmth. My fingertips skimming along the tops of his bare shoulders. His lips claimed mine with an urgency in them and I wanted to just forget all this. To just get lost in him. The same way we always did in each other. Losing sense of time and place and just being together. Maybe the world could be kind enough to leave us alone for a while. But then again, I knew this was wishful thinking.

I broke the kiss, our lips lingering a mere breath from each others. "I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll be back soon. Stay here with dad okay? Please don't go anywhere till I return?"

"I won't. I'll wait."

"I'm gonna head to Sam's before I come back. See if he's there."

I glanced up at him, not understanding where he was headed with this. He saw my confusion and a small grin formed on his mouth. "I was planning to tell you, but with all this..." He sighed.

"Tell me what?"

"Sam did come over when you were gone."

"He did?" I asked, a small returning smile touching my own mouth. Jacob's eyes glistened with emotion, as he spoke in a strained tone.

"He... forgives me, honey..."

I cradled his face in my hands, his forehead coming to rest against mine. I couldn't help tear up myself, knowing how very much this meant to Jacob.

"He said... We'd always be brothers." He breathed to me.

Relief flowed through me to hear him say this. "So you guys are...?"

"We're okay. For the first time in months, honey... I feel like I have my brother back. It's a small step... but it counts."

I threw my arms around him, unable to contain my joy. "Of course it does!"

Hearing this gave me more hope for him and Emily. That they would somehow work through all this and come out stronger in the end.

"I'm so happy for you."

I felt his grip tighten on me when he replied. "Thank you."

"Me?" I asked, pulling back to see his face. "You have nothing to thank me for. This is all you."

"Not true... You could've run like hell when I told you what happened. But you didn't. Bells... you stayed. You believed in me... Always reminding me of who I was and to hold out some kind of hope for Sam. That he would turn around... and he's starting to."

"You're the best man I know Jacob Ephraim and I'll always remind you of that."

"You make me whole... you know that?" He sighed, kissing me once before releasing me to leave.

"Be safe?"

"Always..." He replied as he walked out of the garage.

I followed him as he went, seeing him soon disappear into the dense cover of the trees. My heart going with him and knowing it forever would.

**A/N: Another chapter is coming tonight :) Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my story and review! I love seeing them and they always make me smile! **


	20. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY - ONE**

**(JPOV)**

I stripped down in the cover of the trees, leaving my jeans there and phasing mid run, letting out an ear piercing howl, and alerting any one of them within ears distance to meet me at the lumber yard. It was our signal and they knew it well.

I ran full tilt there, not stopping for anything along the way. Visions of what Bella had said played before them all the moment I cleared the trees and approached them. They all gathered around, Paul already pissed and sinking back in menacing fashion, looking ready to fight.

_"What the fuck is he trying to do? The volturi! They've left her alone this long, maybe you're off track here Jake?" _Paul suggested.

_"Yea... I mean... She was fine in Florida. If they wanted her, they would've made a move by now don't you think?" _Seth asked, circling in front of me with Colin_._

_"No I don't think. My gut tells me otherwise." _

_"Then we call the elders and get them here as soon as possible?" _Brady asked, taking his place next to his brother_._

_"I think that's best. Until further notice, we're on high alert. Everyone takes a double shift in groups of three. No dual pairings anymore. I'd rather be fucking safe than sorry."_

They all nodded in unison to me, clearly understanding what I had set in place.

_"How's Bella holding up with all this?" _Seth asked.

_"She's okay ... for now."_

Quil stepped up to me, his eyes meeting my own. _"Bella's family to us. We'll do whatever we need to. No ones taking her."_

_"Thank you." _I huffed in reply.

_"Does Billy know to call the Elders?" _Paul barked my way.

_"He's on it as we speak and whoever he can't reach, I will get ahold of myself. This requires our immediate attention. I don't know what Ryan's game is as of right now. I don't know what the hell he's capable of. We take no risks. Got it?"_

_"Absolutely..." _Seth piped up.

_"Yeah... you got our word bro." _Quil chimed in.

"Okay. Good... I have an errand to run. An important one. I'll be back at midnight to take shift. Quil and Embry, you're with me tonight. See you then."

"Got it." Embry replied as I turned and headed back into the wet forest. I ran fast to Sam's house, my legs pushing me harder and faster, taking on new strides. I made good time and was there in a few short minutes. I emerged from the woods and let out another howl, hoping he's be home and he'd hear me.

It didn't take long for the front door to open. Emily stood there and I moved out from the cover of the bordering trees so she could see me. She nodded and retreated back inside. I paced in front of the tree line and waited. My thoughts running wild. Sam soon emerged from the house, his look grave as he approached me.

"I can't communicate with you like this..." He sighed and I mentally cussed myself out for forgetting something so fucking important. I huffed once in understanding.

Sam glanced down and took notice that I wasn't able to change into anything, I had no cuts offs with me. "Wait here. I'll get you some sweats and you can phase back so we can talk?"

_I_ huffed again and watched him run back inside to retrieve them for me. He quickly returned and handed them to me. I turned and found myself a suitable place to phase back and slipped them on. The rain beginning to pour yet once again as I faced him in his yard.

"I'm sorry Sam I forgot-"

"Hey... don't worry about it... old habits die hard brother, right?"

"Yea, I guess they do." I admitted, shifting my weight and clenching my left hand into a tight fist, as I thought of how I'd taken that ability from him. I glanced up to see Emily gesture for us to come inside so we could get out of the rain.

"Come in?" Sam offered.

"You sure?"

"Come on." He sighed.

Emily was quick to fix some fresh coffee and offer me a black sweat shirt to wear. "Here Jake. Sam has plenty." She said, placing a soft kiss on Sam's cheek before she left us to talk. The gesture made me smile wide for them. Sam took notice of this and genuinely returned my smile.

"We're working things out. Talked a lot today."

"That's great Sam." I replied.

"It is... She's the most amazing and forgiving woman I know... I'm gonna fix what I broke."

"Good to hear."

"So what's going on? You wouldn't come here if it wasn't pretty serious. I know you Jacob."

I wanted to ask him for his advice and maybe even for his help with all this, but felt guilty in doing so. I struggled briefly with how to approach this with him.

Sam refilled his coffee and set another hot cup in front of me. His knowing and observant eyes meeting mine once. He nodded to me in understanding and I was stunned to see how in tune we still were despite all that had taken place in the past.

"I know things are different now, but the pack is always gonna be my family. So I'll listen to whatever has you troubled."

"The volturi are coming for Bella."

Sam paused from taking a drink of his coffee, slowly setting the mug back down on the wooden table there beneath him. "What?" He breathed in reply. His eyes darkening in the very same way they always used to whenever an imminent threat loomed near the pack or the land. "You're sure of this?"

"Yes... Bella made them a promise when she was with Edward. "

"That she would become one of them... I remember."

I nodded slowly in agreement with him and continued. "It was the only way they let her exist... But now..."

"She's happy with you and wants to remain human?"

I couldn't answer him as the fear of that not happening gripped me hard. Sam leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. Looking to be in deep thought.

"There's more to this... A guy named Ryan Emerson from Florida is now back in town."

Sam glanced up from the table. "Emerson? As in... your boss... Clark Emerson?"

"Ryan is Clarks son. Bella dated him briefly when she lived in Florida. They met through JU. It didn't last long though and it appeared at first he came back to forks in order to win her back or some Bullshit like that. But that's not the damn case at all. I haven't liked the prick from the start. He had the balls to show up at my house, claiming he was in love with Bella."

"Pretty sure of himself is he?"

"Yea so he thinks. But today, Bella took a drive after she left here from seeing Emily. She wanted to clear her head and ended up driving to the Cullen's old place. I guess her curiosity got the better of her and she went in. It was unlocked... open..."

Sam's eyes narrowed as I spoke of this. "Left open?"

"Yea, she said Ryan showed up when she was upstairs in... Edwards room. He's fucking living there Sam and he knows about us. About the pack."

Sam stood up from the table and I got to my feet with him, as he paced back and forth a few times. His jaw clenching before he replied. I waited for him to put this together, hoping he understood what I was saying.

"He's working for Aro." He stated angrily. The look of power coming over his features, reminding me so much of the Alpha he was before.

I nodded in affirmation to him.

"Fuck..." He sighed, shaking his head. "Has he made threats?"

"A few... mostly about me."

Sam snapped his head up. "You?"

"Me working under his father complicates this. Bella mentioned he told her once that I stood to lose more than just my job."

"Aro's words I'm sure." He scoffed.

"I don't give a flying fuck about his threats to me... but... Bella..." I went silent with that and Sam approached me.

"Where's this little shit now?"

"He was at the Cullen's house earlier..."

Sam nodded and went back to pacing. "Think I'll pay him a visit." He suddenly stated, grabbing his jacket by the door. I followed him out as he headed for his truck.

"Sam..."

He paused and turned back to face me. "Means a lot that you came to me Jake. I can't phase like I used to and join you... so please... let me at least handle what I can on two legs?"

His eyes were sincere and I could see the plea in them. The plea to help in some way... The only way he could...

I stepped forward just as he opened his truck door, and swiftly shut it before he could climb in. "It's still there. Sam... I can see it."

He sighed and shook his head, glancing down to the wet ground beneath us. "I can't-"

"Have you tried?" I asked him in timid fashion. Nervous to be crossing a line with him that might set this whole process back a mile. Like pouring salt into an open wound. I chose to be mindful and tread lightly.

"No. Not since-" He paused and met my gaze. I swallowed hard and took the risk.

"It's there Bro. I know it is. That fire isn't gone, Sam. Not by a long shot."

"I miss it..." He admitted, and the sincerity he wore in his expression told me this was his solid truth. "Guess I became a different kind of monster in the process, right?"

"No. Sam... Don't say that."

"Done some real shitty things."

"So have I..."

We both went silent as the rain started to pour again. I felt a stirring begin to build from within me as I looked at him. It was an overpowering feeling of duty that I couldn't explain. It was all wolf driven and I didn't fight it. I went with it and hoped like hell it was leading me in the right direction.

"Sam..."

He met my gaze and the look he now has was haunted. The sight of it making me grow determined to help him. The wolf within me would accept no less and neither would I. I took who he was from him. I owed it to him to try to the best of my ability to help him find his wolf again. I owed him that and so much more. Being a wolf was who Sam was and it was just as important he fix that part of himself as it was to repair the rest. They went hand in hand. I took a deep breath and steadied myself before speaking again to him. The rawness of what I'd done was still plain to see and I knew I'd be facing my own fucked up demons if I did what I wanted to do for him now. But that was something I was willing to do. For my brother... for my friend.

"I took that from you... Took who you were, and I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Sam shook his head and adverted my gaze. I went on anyway...

"Let me help you phase again?"

He whipped his head back in my direction, our eyes locking and I saw it plainly there. The hope... The longing to be who he was before. To be the wolf that still resides within him. It may be broken and buried but I knew it was still there.

The silence lingered on between us and was almost deafening before he finally spoke back.

"You'd do that? Even after everything I said and did?"

"You're my brother Sam. Blood not needed. You helped me phase... remember? Of course I would. If that's what you want."

He glanced back to the house before he met my gaze again. "I want to be the man I was. I want my son to be proud of his father and to be the man Emily fell in love with. That's what I want."

"Your son will be proud of you either way, Sam. Look at Billy... You really think I'm any less proud of the father he's been for me and my sisters because he was hurt so long ago?"

Sam shook his head in reply and stole another glance toward the house. "I want it back. I do."

"Than we'll get it back."

"What if I physically can't?" He asked.

"We're gonna try like hell first. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Together..."

"You don't owe me anything, Jacob."

"I owe you everything. Besides, I want you with us. And If it takes weeks to get you there...That's ok. We'll do it, Sam."

I extended my hand to him and he firmly shook it. A mutual understanding and respect between us now.

"I don't want the others knowing..."

"They don't have to. This can be between us. And if you choose to tell them later, I'll be behind you."

"When do we start?"

"Whenever you want to."

"It's a lot of work Jake... I remember how difficult that was with all of you the first time you phased. None of you had a physical ailment either."

"You're. Worth. The. Work. Every ounce of it. Take a day or two and think about it. You give me the word and we'll start."

"Okay... I'll take a few days and get back to you."

"Swear?"

"I will. Really."

Emily emerged from the house with a worried expression then. He waved to her reassuringly and the look of worry faded. "You have the love of a good woman. That love will see you through Sam. If you forget that... Call Billy and he'll remind you."

"Thanks."

"No ... thank you. I have to head back to the house. Bella's there waiting for me. I'll keep you posted about this. Just because you can't phase right now doesn't mean you're any less part of us. You're apart of this family just as much as you ever were."

He nodded and cleared his throat a few times. "I appreciate that and I'll talk to you soon."

"Sure thing." I replied with a wave to Emily and took off Sam's sweatshirt, handing it back to him.

"Keep the sweats, Jake. No big deal."

"Thanks."

I turned and headed back into the forest, leaving his sweatpants there and phasing. Heat flooded through my body as I ran back home. I came to a halt when I reached my back yard, phasing back and retrieving my jeans to wear. They were drenched from the heavy rain. I wrung them out and threw them on anyway, trudging back to the house. I came around front and noticed Bella's truck was now gone from the yard. I knew something must be wrong for her to just leave like that, especially knowing she'd promised to stay until I got back.

I ran inside to see my father sitting at the kitchen table, a somber look on his face. He raised his head when he heard me come in. "I tried to call you..." His tone had my insides crawling with dread.

"Why? Where is she?"

My father sighed heavily and handed me the phone. "It's Charlie. He had an accident on shift tonight. Took a bullet to the right shoulder."

"What!" I gasped.

"She's there at the hospital with him now. He's okay, Jake. But she was pretty shaken up when she left. She drove herself there. You should go son."

I dressed faster than I knew possible and grabbed my jacket and keys, heavy guilt weighing on me for not being here for her. I paused by the front door and turned back to my father.

"You want to come with me?"

"No... I know Charlie's okay. You know me and hospitals. Call me if anything changes?"

"I will. I'll be back soon."

I left and sped all the way to the hospital, breaking the damn speed limit by twenty over the whole way there and not caring if I got a ticket.

When I reached the parking lot, I called Bella and she answered for me on the second ring.

"Jake?"

"Bells I'm so sorry. I didn't know-"

"It's okay. I called Billy and told him not to worry you. He's sleeping right now and stable. Doctors say he got lucky."

"I just got here."

"Im in the cafeteria. Meet me there."

"Be right there, honey."

I ended the call and took the elevator to cafeteria floor. She spotted me and waved me over to her. I took her in my arms the moment I could reach her.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop... you can only be in so many places at once, Jake."

I sighed heavily upon releasing her. "Have you eaten anything?"

"No... Not really. Coffee is fine for me for now. You should eat though."

"I'm fine. What else did the Doctor say?" I asked, pulling a chair out and taking a seat next to her, my hand instinctively finding her own.

"They said he was very fortunate the Bullet went clean through. He's more sore than anything else right now. They plan to watch him over night and release him in the morning."

"I'm glad he's alright, honey." I replied, quickly glancing down at my watch, and noting the time was nearly eleven. I had patrol in less in an hour. Fuck...

Bella noticed my expression and met my gaze. "You can go... I understand. He'll be okay."

"But you're here... Through the night?"

"Yes..."

"Than no... it's not okay, Bells. I need to call Quil. I'll be right back."

I stood, releasing her hand and she suddenly stood with me. "Jacob don't worry about me. I'll be fine getting him home tomorrow. I'm not upset and I understand you have priorities to attend to right now."

I took a step toward her, kissing her on the forehead. "You are my priority, Bells... Always. I'll be right back."

I went outside to make the call, stepping out by the hospital entrance and dialing Quil. Luckily, he answered rather timely. I explained what had happened to Charlie and told him to get ahold of Colin or Paul to take my spot for the run with them. He understood and asked me to be sure to wish Charlie the best before we hung up.

I stood there for a moment, alone with myself and my thoughts. I felt like I was being torn with my responsibilities. Bella was my top concern and her well being meant the world to me, but the pack relied on me as they should and I couldn't help but feel as if I was constantly letting one or the other down. Not to mention never taking the time to sleep more than two or three hours a night. I knew my father had a valid point this morning, I was running on fumes and worried myself that something would slip through my fingers because of it. Right now I was in no damn place for that to happen.

I sighed heavily and headed back into the hospital for Bella. We sat together in the waiting room through the rest of the night. Bella stayed awake as long as she could before her eyes grew heavy, and her head came to rest on my shoulder. I laid my jacket over her and she was asleep in minutes. I nodded off with her shortly after, canceling out the sound of the busy nurses and bustling people around us. Thankfully, the waiting room was pretty desolate and that made sleep for both of us easier.

The sound of an intercom page woke me up hours later. A females booming voice echoing through the desolate hall, as I opened my eyes to see Bella still curled into me and nestled comfortably under my jacket. I watched as the sun began to peer in through the many windows there. It's rays hitting the walls around us and illuminating the room.

A young mother with a crying baby came in. She smiled apologetically at me when she noticed Bella was still sleeping next to me. I returned her smile graciously and couldn't help but look at the small baby girl she had wrapped up in a pink blanket. She was tiny, maybe a month old at best.

Bella stirred and peered up at me through sleepy eyes. "Morning."

"Morning." I whispered back to her. "Coffee? Breakfast?"

"Just coffee please."

"You really should eat something."

"I will later. I just wanna check on dad and get him home first."

"Okay. I'll be back with coffee."

I made my way back to the now crowded cafeteria. Everyone rushing about for this and that. I checked in with Quil and he reported that everything was fine through patrol run. I thanked him again and told him to keep me posted should anything change.

When I returned with Bella's coffee, I noticed there was an officer talking to her in the hallway. Assuming it was a friend of Charlie's, I took my seat back in the waiting room and let them finish their conversation. Several minutes passed and I began to think this wasn't simply a friend checking in at all. I stood and glanced toward her, seeing that there were now two officers with her. Both writing something, looking to be taking notes from her... or a statement.

I went to join them and overheard one of them speaking in a low whisper to her. "This is the first time anything like this has happened at the station. Your father hasn't mentioned anyone giving him trouble lately to you? No mention of anything?"

Bella shook her head, her gaze turning to me when she saw me approach them.

One of the officers stopped his questioning with her and averted his full attention towards me. "And you are Sir?"

"Oh..." Bella sighed... "This is Jacob. He's been with me all night in the waiting room. Besides he works there... He would never do that."

"Do what?" I asked, unaware of what they were referring to.

"Are you aware of the break in and attempted arson that took place late last night in Forks?"

"No." I replied, feeling Bells slip her hand in mine, as he continued his slew of questions.

"Isn't it true Mr... Black is it... Jacob black... that you're employed at the local garage in town. The very same one owned by a Clark Emerson?"

"The arson and robbery took place at the shop?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes Mr. Black. Can you account for your whereabouts from the time of 9pm last night through early this morning?"

"I was with a friend, Sam... Sam Uley... around that time and then I came back home and that's when my father told me about Charlie. I've been here with Bella ever since."

I watched him as he took my statement. His eyes moving from the clipboard to me several times over.

"This uh... Sam... Sam Uley? Can he attest to your whereabouts if need be?"

"Yes."

"Okay. That should be all for now. Stay close by and we'll be sure to come back shortly if there are any further questions. Bella... I've worked with your father for over 12 years now. He's a hell of a cop. We'll get to the bottom of this. You have my word."

"Thank you." Bella replied to him as they left. They were only a few feet away when the nurse came over to us. Her smile kind and sincere.

"Bella... your dad is awake and asking for you."

"Okay. We can see him now?"

The nurse sighed as she looked my way. "I'm sorry dear but Family only."

Bella glanced back at me, her eyes meeting mine and her hand tightening in my own. "He is Family."

The nurse hesitated but soon gave us the go ahead and briskly escorted us to his room.

Charlie was awake and looked a hell of a lot better than I expected considering he'd just taken a bullet last night.

Bella half ran to him, stopping herself abruptly when she reached the bed, looking unsure of if she should hug him or not.

"I'm okay kiddo. You know your old man. Gonna take more than a bullet to lay me out for good." He lightly chuckled and winced. Bella gave him the best faked smile I'd ever seen and lightly kissed him on the cheek.

"How do you feel? Can I get you anything before they send you home."

"No No... I'm okay for now." He reached out and took her hand with his good arm, as she sat timidly on the edge of his bed.

"You been here all night too, Jake?"

"Yes sir." I replied with a light grin for him.

"Well your dad must be losing his damn mind by now. He knows you're here and that I'm alive right?"

"I had Quil call him so he would know how you were and that I was staying."

Charlie nodded and let out a heavy sigh. "Been a cop for years and never had someone shoot me before now. Should of waited for back up to arrive. My own damn fault."

"Do you remember what happened?" Bella asked.

"I remember most of it. Got a call that there had been a break in down to Emersons. I was only about a mile away, so I went to the scene first. Half the siding was on fire and I called it in to the station. They advised me backup was on the way. I went around back to see if there was anyone lurking around. And then I..." Charlie paused. His face going white as a sheet.

"Dad? What? What is it? Should I get the nurse?" Bella asked him frantically.

"He shot me. Just as I rounded the back..." Charlie continued, a blank stare on his face. "I felt it hit my shoulder... the bullet... and dropped to the ground. His face though..."

I took a step forward. Heat beginning to lick up my spine from his words.

"His face?" Bella asked. "You said he... he shot me? You're sure it was a man?"

"I'm sure. He was young though... Looked to be about your age, Bella. Tall but not as tall as Jacob."

Bella glanced over her shoulder to me and I knew our thoughts were aligned on this. I took a deep breath and cooled it, remembering that I was in a hospital and getting Charlie home with Bella was what I needed to focus on right now. In this moment. I'd deal with Ryan soon enough. One thing at a time.

"There was something oddly familiar about his face though..." I heard Charlie say to Bella, as the nurse came in with his release instructions and discharge papers. The nurse kindly took the time to go over Charlie's care regimen with her while Charlie was helped into a wheel chair by another nurse.

"You just give us a call if you need anything else Mr. Swan." The nurse said with a smile, as I started pushing him down the hall.

"I will. Thank you." Charlie replied with a wave of his good arm.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Sure thing Jake. Just do me a favor and don't steer me into oncoming traffic in the parking lot alright?" He joked.

"I'll do my best, Charlie."

I helped him into Bella's truck and made sure he was comfortable before they took off. Bella had been silent the entire walk down and had yet to make eye contact with me. I knew she was trying to keep it together for Charlie's sake, so I went along with it. Knowing it was the best thing for now.

I kissed her quickly and mouthed, "I love you." She returned the sentiment and started the engine, slowly backing up and heading for home with Charlie. I watched them leave the parking lot just as my tremors struck me hard. I cussed aloud as I hit the gas for Forks. Not to follow Bella and Charlie. No... my destination was somewhere else.


	21. Chapter 22

** A/N: I'd like to say a very heart felt thank you to each and ****every one of you for taking the time to read and review.**

** It means the world to me. I thank those who review anonymously ****as well. Your feedback is important to me, too! A huge thank you to ****my best friend, who has given me her helpful feedback and encouragement!**

** So without further 'ado, here's the next chapter. HAPPY READING ALL!**

**CHAPTER TWENTY - TWO**

**(BPOV)**

Charlie took an extended leave of absence from the station due to his injury. He had a hard time with simple tasks the first week home from the hospital, his limited mobility proving to irritate him in such a way that he would often refuse my help out of pure stubbornness. This made the next two weeks almost intolerable. His short temper and frustration would come out in him complaining about anything and everything he deemed suitable to gripe at.

I tried my best to be understanding and patient with him, but my good nature was starting to slip about the time he snapped at me for trying to help him put his jacket on before we headed out to see Billy and Jake for dinner. Something we hadn't done in days because he wasn't up for it. I didn't want to push him so I waited for him to decide when he was feeling up to the outing himself.

"Bella I got it!" He snapped harshly at me.

I stepped back and threw my hands up in the air out of frustration. "What the hell do you want me to do!"

"Excuse me? Isabella Marie Swan... Who do you think you're talking to?"

I swallowed back my reply and shook my head, grabbing my keys and heading fro the truck. "See you out there."

He mumbled something incoherent as I left. Still fuming angry with him for using me as a punching bag these last few weeks. I understood his injury made things a challenge and that he wasn't one to sit around a lot. Charlie loved to be out and active, whether it was working, hunting, or fishing with Billy. He loved the outdoors and I'm sure he felt cooped up like this, but I didn't feel that gave him the right to jump down my throat every time I turned around.

I sat in the truck, turning on the heat to warm the cab and waiting for him to join me so we could go. I was anxious to see Jacob. We hadn't seen much of each other since the night at the Hospital with Charlie. With his schedule for patrols, we barely had the time for an hour phone call in the evenings. He was running himself ragged and it had me concerned, but whenever I voiced this opinion, he would assure me he was fine.

We weren't seeing eye to eye on certain things these days. Jacob was adamant on running second, and even third shift patrols himself in order to keep the upper hand on Ryan, and whatever he may have up his sleeve. I knew his intentions were good, and was grateful for his devotion to my safety, but there had been a few times he'd nearly fallen asleep at the wheel driving me home from his house, and I was terrified of getting a call stating he'd been in some kind of collision. We had a small argument about him pushing himself too hard, and it was obvious to me that despite my strong protest to him running himself on empty, he wasn't budging on the matter. So for saving arguments sake, I dropped it... for now.

Then came the surprise of Clark Emerson showing up at his house when we were having dinner last week together. Jacob had answered the front door and there he stood, pissed as anything I'd seen. Before Billy or I had time to react, Clark punched Jacob in the face and Jacob charged back at him, sending them both hurdling off the steps. I jumped to my feet and Billy yelled for him.

"JACOB! DON'T!"

I ran outside and saw Jake pin Clark on the ground, landing two more blows to him.

"Jake!"

Sam came pulling in the yard out of nowhere, jumping out of his truck and running to them. He ripped Jacob off Clark.

"Hey... Jacob... come on! Hey!" He yelled, grabbing him by the shirt and pushing him backwards. "He's not worth it!"

"You're gonna pay for attacking my boy!" Clark yelled, staggering to his feet.

"Your boys not who you think he is!" Jacob yelled back, trying to push past Sam to get back in Clarks face.

Sam turned to address Clark, his look dark and brooding when he spoke.

"You need to leave. This is Jake's house. Billy's property. Get off it or I'll escort your ass off myself."

Jacob came to my side, his body shaking with tremors and his anger still prominent.

"You had no right to do what you did!" Clark shouted to us.

I glanced up at Jake, unsure of what he was talking about.

"I had every fucking right and you'll know why soon enough. Tell your son if he knows what's good for him, he won't try the stunt he pulled** ever again**. Or next time, he'll need more than a few stitches."

"Is that a threat?"

"Absolutely." Jake replied, his eyes glued to Clark in menacing fashion.

"I take it this must be Bella?" Clark asked, taking a few steps in my direction. Jacob positioned himself in front of me, his hand finding mine as he approached. Sam grabbed Clark by the arm roughly.

"I said you should go."

"Why? I'd like to meet the girl who has such hold on my boy. After all, seems she's the real root to all this bullshit."

I heard a low growl come from Jacob as Clark tried to move past Sam, who was unmoving in his sturdy stance.

I moved myself so I was beside Jacob, our hands remaining together. "Your son and I have nothing Mr. Emerson. And he needs to respect the boundaries set in place."

I knew Mr. Emerson was at a huge disadvantage, only knowing half the truth, but I offered what I could for an explanation anyway.

"Oh yea? Well last time I checked, making a move on someone's woman didn't qualify for receiving the beating he got? Last time I checked that was brutality and breaking the damn law!"

Jacob glanced down to me, his eyes apologetic when they met mine. I squeezed his hand and spoke up again.

"He should no better and show some respect." I countered.

"Dully noted Miss Swan." Clark replied. "But my sons injuries warranted him a two night stay in the local hospital. I take it by the look of shock on your face that your man here didn't tell you that did he?"

"Doesn't excuse your sons actions sir." I replied, refusing to allow him to paint Jacob out to be some monster. Ryan had it coming and while I was disappointed Jake hadn't been honest with me about it, I backed up his choice to make him suffer a bit for what he'd done to my father nonetheless.

"Unreal... you're really something else Black. I hire you because I respect your father and you pay me back by kicking the shit out of my son?"

Billy's booming voice suddenly came from behind us. "Your son needed to be taught a lesson. I'm sorry it came to this Clark, but he pushed Jacob to this and I will not punish him for it. Not in the least."

"Fine... as far as I'm concerned, you all can go to hell. Expect a call from my lawyer soon." He yelled over his shoulder as he left. Sputtering a slew of profanities along the way. All of us watched him intently as he drove off.

"Thanks for helping, Sam." I said, giving him a hug of appreciation.

"Anytime." He replied, shaking Jake's hand with a pat to his shoulder. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Jake. Got Emily waiting for me at home with dinner on the table. I stopped by to tell you how well her appointment went. Doctor says he's healthy and Emily's in perfect health, too."

"That's great Sam." Jake replied with a smile for him.

I couldn't help but smile widely myself. Sam's eyes lit up when he said this and it made my heart warm to know they were making some progress. "Please tell Emily I'll stop in next week for a visit?"

"Sure will. See you guys later." He sighed with a wave as he left.

I started for the house and felt Jacobs hand leave mine, as he stopped where he was. "You're not angry with me for not telling you?"

"I won't lie... I wish you would have. No secrets remember?"

"I'm sorry." He sighed, his eyes averting mine from guilt. I went to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I know and I forgive you. Just don't keep me in the dark anymore?"

"I promise." He replied, his lips seeking mine.

"Thank you."

Since then he'd been sharing everything with me about the pack. Including any new leads they'd stumbled upon. He would tell me about how Paul was finally starting to turn around now that he and Sam had made a mends. It seemed it went hand in hand and I was glad to hear it, knowing it made things a bit easier on Jacob.

We had shared a few conversations this week, but they were short and to the point and usually late at night when I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to listen. He hadn't come through my window in days and I greatly missed that.

Charlie whipped open the truck door with his good arm and huffed as he climbed into the cab of my truck. I hit the gas and drove to Jake's house in silence, constantly biting my tongue and forcing down my irritation with his mood lately for his sake alone. I knew It did no good to say things in anger and regret them later.

When I pulled up to Jake's house, he was waiting for us on the steps and quickly got to his feet when he saw me. I was only half out of the truck when he hauled me into his arms and off my feet, spinning me around. I couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm, but my laughter was cut off by his urgent kiss. The feel of his lips on mine had me clinging to him in a way that I'm sure didn't impress the neighbors or my father for that matter.

Jacobs lips left mine and he set me down when we heard Charlie nonchalantly clear his throat. Throwing a raised eyebrow look of disapproval in our direction. Jake smiled at him anyway and went right along with small talk as if nothing had happened.

"How's the arm, Charlie?"

"Sore and useless right now." He grumbled and headed into the house. I stared after him, dreading to hear that same familiar sour attitude of his tonight.

"He's having a hard time?" Jake asked, kissing me on the cheek.

"You could say that." I replied, walking in with him.

"Give it some time, honey. He'll come around. You know your dad. He hates being stuck home all the time. Sure it's been hard for him not to work right now."

"Doesn't give him the right to be rude..." I mumbled.

Jake paused and turned towards me. "You can stay here for a night? Maybe the two of you need a night apart?"

"I don't know. You have patrol again and I have to pick up a few job applications tomorrow. Maybe another night?"

He offered me half a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes and I could see his disappointment. The look of it pulling at my heart strings.

"I love you." He said, as he held open the door me.

"I love you, too."

Charlie was unusually silent most of the evening. His normal and regular teasing banter with Billy had ceased and they quietly watched the Sports channel, neither of them saying a word to the other. I had hoped Charlie's mood would change when he saw Billy again, but he simply sat there, stone faced and silent.

"Is your dad okay?" I asked Jake, as we dished out pizza for dinner.

"He's been... kinda off the last week, too. Not sure why."

I shrugged and glanced over to see Billy wheeling himself over to us. He smiled at me and I returned it, seeing him return to Charlie with two full plates of pizza for them.

"It's nothing serious thought right?" I asked.

"I don't think so. I've asked him and he don't say much to me about it. Whatever it is. Says he's fine. But I know better... Something's bothering him."

I nodded and sat down with him at the table. "When do you leave for patrol?"

"Midnight."

I sighed heavily and began picking at my dinner, not really having much of an appetite. Jake scooted his chair over next to mine.

"I was thinking... Maybe we could take a small road trip?" He asked, with a glint in his eyes and a matching grin on his face.

"Really? Where?"

"Well your mom called me the other day..."

"She did?"

"She wanted to be sure you were alright. Said you hadn't replied to her emails yet and when she couldn't reach Charlie, she got worried and called here looking for you."

"Oh..." I sighed, remembering that in the craziness lately, I'd forgotten to reply to any of her emails. "I should have called her last week. I just forgot..."

"She misses you. We talked for a while. It was nice."

I took a small bite of my pizza and chuckled at the idea of Jake listening to the ramblings of Renee. I loved her but she sure had the divine gift of gab.

"It was?"

"Yea... She told me how happy she was for us."

Jacobs smile couldn't get any wider and I found it infectious. He set his pizza down and turned my chair to face him. "I'm sure she talked your ear off."

"I was thinking we could go see her? Together? Take a break from all this for a little while?"

"Really?" I smiled back at him as his hands found mine. "But what about the pack and Ryan and my dad... and ..." I paused, not wanting to even mention the volturi.

"I already talked to the pack last night. We had a meeting. I told Sam too, and he asked a few of the elders to fill in while I'm gone. They'd be okay for a week or two. I don't wanna be gone too long, but Sam swore he'd get ahold of me right away if anything should arise. He said he'd check in on Charlie, and Sue Clearwater said she would, too."

I knew this was his attempt at making me forget some of this... getting me out of town and miles away from Ryan in the process. I did have to admit, it sounded mighty appealing.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. If that's what you want?"

I nodded enthusiastically and hugged him. Almost laughing with joy. With everything going on, it would be nice for a break. If only just for a little while. Besides, I missed my mom a lot more these days and was feeling a bit home sick for Florida if I was being completely honest. I was also beginning to think Charlie needed a break from my constant hovering as well. This trip would be good all around.

"I take it that's a yes to going, honey?" Jake chuckled upon releasing me.

"Yes! I would love to go!" I gleamed, kissing him. My excitement showing itself in the kiss. Jacob paused and quickly stole a glance out toward the living room where Billy and Charlie were too involved in there sports and pizza to notice much of anything else. He brought his lips back to mine, swiftly hauling me into his lap. I straddled him there, a small laugh escaping me. "Jacob..." I whispered against his mouth. "They could walk in here any minute."

He silenced me with another kiss, his tongue invading my mouth and making me forget why I protested in the first place. My hands moved into his hair, a low moan coming from him in response and I soon found myself caught up in a frenzy from his kiss.

"I miss you, honey." He said, his tone low and husky with need.

"It's been a while..." I breathed in reply, feeling his warm mouth at my neck.

"Too long..."

"Mmm... Maybe we could..." I paused as his eyes met mine.

"Sneak out?" He chuckled.

"Maybe..." I sighed, lightly biting his bottom lip. His grip on me tightened and I stilled there. His nose brushing mine affectionately.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me right now?" He countered, pulling my hips forward. My eyes not leaving his as I moved, feeling his arousal beneath me.

"I have a pretty good idea..."

"Do you?"

I nodded to him, as his hand slid up under my shirt, his fingertips skimming up and down my back, leaving a trail of goose bumps along my bare skin while his lips sought the groove of my neck. I had to pry myself away from him now or I'd forget we weren't alone.

I tried to get up just when he brought his mouth back to mine. His kiss becoming possessive. I pressed myself further into him, as his tongue met mine.

I broke for air and cradled his face, licking my lips. The taste of him still there. "Garage?" I asked, desperate at this point.

"You'll freeze honey..." He whispered, still clutching me to him.

"It'd be worth it. Maybe we can make it to my house and back before they notice?"

"Maybe..."

"I'll meet you outside in my truck? Come up with an excuse to leave?"

"Deal..."

I rose to my feet, kissing him one more time and slipping out the back door with my jacket and keys. I couldn't help but grin like a kid who stood to get caught with their hand in the cookie jar, as I swiftly ran to my truck, slowly opening the door and slipping in. I held my breath as I quietly closed it and slid the keys into the ignition, waiting for Jacob.

He came out soon and jumped in with me, wearing a mile wide mischievous grin.

"What did you tell them?"

"I told them Sam and Emily needed our help with moving some furniture around."

"What if Billy calls Sam while we're gone?"

Jake reached in his jacket pocket, pulling out his cell phone with a small smirk. "Already covered. Threw Sam a text. He knows whats up."

I started the truck and made the way back to my house. All the while Jacob had slid over to the middle seat, his hands roaming over my stomach. I felt a tingle shoot up my spine when his lips brushed my cheek, trailing down to my ear lobe and my neck.

"Jake..." I whispered, hitting the brakes for a stop light in town. "We're never gonna make it to the house if you keep this up..." I warned.

"Just drive..." He whispered seductively in my ear, causing goose bumps to arise along my arms.

"I'm... trying..."

His warm hand slowly slid up my inner thigh and my breath caught in my throat. He was distracting and I felt my skin start to flush.

"You're very distracting."

"Am I?" he sighed, nuzzling my neck, as he inhaled my scent and let out a groan. The feel of his warm breath on my skin had my heart speeding up as we reached my street.

I parked the truck and didn't even take the time to pull the keys from the ignition, before kissing him desperately and thoroughly. My body aching for his touch as he guided me over onto his lap. The feel of his strong arms securing me to him, as we picked up right where we left off. I had missed his touch more than words could express these last few weeks. It seemed finding time for one another was proving to be harder than previously thought. I ground my hips into him, eager and desperate for friction, a low moan escaping him in response. He gripped my hips, moving me forward, his kiss growing more urgent.

I felt his warm hands quickly slide up under my shirt, our movements limited by the confines of my truck. "We should take this inside?" I whispered, as I broke away from him and hurriedly opened the door to get out. He followed suit as I ran for the house. He chased after me, catching me around the waist before I could reach the front door. I laughed and fumbled with the house keys as his warm hands roamed over the contours of my stomach.

"Having trouble honey?" He breathed in my ear, one hand traveling down to the apex of my thighs. I nearly dropped the house keys. Luckily, Jake caught them before they fully slipped from my clumsy fingers. He chuckled and moved his hand back up to my stomach as I unlocked the front door.

I spun around and reclaimed his mouth with mine. The kiss hungry and insistent as we clamored through the house, knocking into this and that along the way. It was dark and neither one of us took the time to turn on a damn light before we reached the stairs. I tripped and thankfully Jacob caught me before I face planted. His robust laughter echoing through the house as we crested the top of the stairs.

"This is dangerous!" I laughed, opening my bedroom door. Jacob abruptly pulled me back to him, as his soft full lips parted mine, sensuously drawing my bottom lip into his mouth. He pressed my body close to him and my hands moved to tangle in his hair. We were a mess of limbs and hands, and breathy moans, both desperate to rid the offending clothes that separated us. I gripped the hem of his shirt, standing on my tip toes in an attempt to strip him of it. He assisted me, swiftly pulling it over his head. He unbuttoned my shirt from the bottom up, revealing my stomach and deftly unhooking my bra, allowing him access to my breasts. My nipples were already pert and begging for his touch only. I felt his right hand move up and firmly grasp my breast, tugging and pinching my nipple between his fingers. I was powerless to silence the cry that left me. I moaned again as his other hand roughly undid my jeans. His lips and tongue were rough and unapologetic and I loved it. I returned his kiss with equal intensity and groaned aloud as his tongue tasted mine. The both of us trying to consume each other in this moment. His touch was fevered and desperate as he explored me everywhere, making my skin hum with his strong caresses.

He suddenly lifted me up by my ass and quickly placed me on the bed beneath him. I moaned into his mouth when he pressed his firm body against mine, making me ache for him. His hands groped at my body, leaving my skin set a blaze from his warm touch. Jacobs hands took mine, pinning my arms above my head, every part of my body burning for him now. He tore his mouth from mine, placing open - mouthed kisses clear down to my navel, his tongue fiercely exploring my exposed skin and stopping just below the top of my lace panties. He wasted no time in removing them, an audible groan coming from him as his mouth returned to my lower abdomen, slowly moving to my center. I soon felt his warm breath there. My hands gripped the sheets in anticipation, as his hands gripped my thighs. His pace was slow, tantalizing and deliberate. I melted into the sensation. The familiar low burn starting with me as I licked my lips, sucking in sharp breaths as his tongue worked mercilessly over me. The room was nearly pitch black, leaving me unable to see him, and only able to feel him. Somehow, this increased the sensations for me, leaving me panting, moaning aloud and tightening my death hold on the sheets. He was driving me to the brink and I was certain that I'd soon combust.

Jacobs grip on my thighs tightened, holding me firmly in place, as his tongue skillfully swirled around over and over again. The hungry burn within my lower abdomen flared, spreading its way through my body. I cried out his name and arched my back as the last swirl of his tongue pushed me over the edge of carnal bliss.

"Jacob..."

My body warmed with my release, a flush settling over me as it rocked through me. I was somewhat aware of him moving back up my body, his tongue coming to invade my mouth, silencing me with his passionate kiss. Jacobs fingers slid up my wet folds and I moaned, throwing my head back, as he whispered in my ear, his voice husky and strained. "I love the feel of you.. The taste of you..."

My hands frantically sought the top of his jeans, undoing the button and zipper. I tugged them down as far as I could and felt him leave me to finish discarding them. His breathing ragged when he brought his body back to mine, firmly pressing himself against my throbbing center. He reached down and hitched my leg around his hip, as I felt him take one of my nipples in his mouth, eagerly sucking and flicking his tongue and continuing to ground himself harder against me. His mouth left one breasts and went to the other. I reached for him, cupping his erection in my hand. He groaned and momentarily stilled from my touch. I pulled at his boxers, encouraging him to remove them. Jacob kissed me tenderly once and took off his last item of clothing, settling himself between my naked thighs. The tip of him pressed against my slick folds, causing my hips to involuntarily thrust upward for him. I was dying to feel him inside me again. He swiftly flipped us, hauling me on top him. His hands cupping my ass before roaming up my stomach and coming to knead my breasts. I leaned down, seeking his lips and finding the urgency in his kiss to be invigorating. I slid my way down his body, kissing down his firm chest and abs. My lips feeling the muscles there and my tongue coming to taste his bare skin as I went on. I reached my sought destination before long and took the length of him in my mouth, eagerly swirling my tongue around the tip.

"Bella..." He moaned, the sound of it encouraging me onward. I took him in my mouth again, while stroking the base of him. His labored breathing encouraging me to continue. I felt empowered to know I could make him feel this good. Empowered to know I could do this for him. It was liberating.

I raised my head and stroked the length of him repeatedly, hearing him groan again, as he suddenly sat up, taking me in his arms and flipping me so I was underneath him again. His hot tongue swirled around the swell of my breasts, drawing my aching nipples into his mouth.

"Ugh..." I moaned, my hips thrusting upward, feeling his arousal press against my center. "Jake please..." I breathed to him, not above begging. My body craving him.

Jacobs devouring kiss silenced me and he pushed his hard member into my throbbing center in one swift motion. I cried out loudly at the sensation... the fullness... The pleasure I felt at being joined so intimately with him. His arms held me tightly to him. "I love you Jacob... So much..." My own voice sounding strangled with my words.

"I love you, too Bells." He breathed in his own strained whisper while building a steady rhythm. I was unable to form any more words as he moved in and out of me. His thrusts soon grew punishing and I felt the familiar tightening within me from his relentless pace. I took full advantage of the fact that we were all alone and that I didn't have to be quiet. I could be loud... and I was.

Sweat dripped from Jacobs body, making my own skin slick. I felt his mouth reclaim mine, as my hips pushed up against his, being forced to the brink with every thrust he made. My body coming alive for him... only him. "Oh God ... Jacob."

He nipped and sucked my neck, his lips soon coming to stop at my ear. "Cum for me, honey..."

The husky, alluring and dominant demand from him, sent a new rush of pleasure through me.

My name soon fell from his lips, as he found his own release. His persistent and pounding rhythm pushing me on. I cried out and groaned, as my climax shattered through me, leaving me breathless and trembling.

Jacob collapsed, his head coming to rest on my bare breasts. My body still humming and tingling from my orgasm, as my arms wrapped around him. I reached over and switched on my lamp, wanting to see him as I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling it damp with sweat. He raised his head, our eyes meeting with a mischievous smile on his face. I returned it as he moved up to kiss me, his full lips tender at first, but swiftly changing in urgency. I pulled back astonished to feel him hard again. His member pressing up against me.

I couldn't help the small giggle that left me to see Jake's look turn bashful. "Sorry... it has been a while... in my defense."

I cradled his face, my thumb tracing his bottom lip. "Don't be sorry." I replied, kissing him. My tongue meeting his as he grabbed my hips and scooted me down closer to him, positioning himself at my entrance. He paused and locked eyes with me.

"I always want you." He sighed, thrusting into me quickly. His eyes carefully observing me, watching me as I threw my head back in ecstasy.

"Jacob..."

His kiss was fevered as we fought to get closer to one another. Never seeming to be close enough. Our mouths and tongues endlessly moving together, in an attempt to devour one another. I gently bit his bottom lip. A gluteral moan coming from the back of his throat in response. I felt his fingers circle my sensitive nub, nearly sending me into oblivion. I broke our kiss and met his heated gaze. His lustful look almost animalistic ... primal ... and hot as hell.

His thrusts grew in pace and my body once again, came alive for him. I couldn't contain my cries of pleasure, as his fingers deftly worked me. I clung to him as my orgasm took hold of me. He wrapped an arm under me, pulling me flush to him. Every muscle in his body going rigid and his thrusts becoming faster and harder, going deeper and deeper. My hips bucked up, his cheek coming to press against mine, intently listening to every cry I made.

"Oh Bells..."

His hand reached up and took mine, lacing our fingers together. Jacobs last few thrusts pushing him into another release. My head whirled and my limbs became shaky and weak when he finished. I was exhausted and felt Jacob slowly remove himself for me, his eyes meeting mine as he rolled over, taking me with him. I nestled into him, basking in his warmth, his love. My eyes began to grow impossibly heavy and I succumbed to my exhaustion, wrapped up and safe with him.


	22. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry it took me a bit longer to post another chapter this week. College finals have me pretty busy! But I made time tonight... well I should say this morning now! :) Enjoy! As always, thanks to everyone who reads and reviews! You bring a huge smile to my face. **

**CHAPTER TWENTY - THREE**

**(JPOV)**

I awoke to the feel of Bella's lips on my chest. Her kisses soft and light, as she slowly trailed her way up to my mouth. I groaned once when I felt her fingertips graze my bare stomach, slowly opening my eyes to see her staring at me, a look of wonder on her face.

"What?" I whispered, reaching my hand up to sweep her hair out of her face. She caught my hand and held it.

"I love you, Jacob Ephraim."

Her words sincere... true ... and heartfelt. I reached for her, gently pulling her on top of me and wrapping my arms around her as her lips found mine. The kiss was slow and sensual, full of meaning.

"We have to get back..." She soon sighed, in a dreaded tone.

"I know..."

"They'll be wondering where we've been if we don't get a move on." She admitted, trying to move herself away from me. I tightened my grip on her in protest.

"Just a few more minutes?"

"We can't..." She replied, a real look of disappointment on her face.

"My dad knows better than to think we're really at Sam's, honey."

Bella's eyes widened with horror and I watched as a rapid blush settled into her ivory cheeks. "What? You think he knows!"

I couldn't help but chuckle at her expression. "Of course he does. He might be old, but he remembers what it was like to be young and in love. He was with my mother, you know?"

She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, nervously gnawing on her bottom lip. "I guess..."

"It's no big deal, honey. Really... Besides, If I had it my way, I'd fall asleep with you every night and wake up to you every morning."

Her face lit up and it warmed my heart to see. "Well... I mean... Maybe someday?"

"Someday soon."

"You really want that?" She asked.

"Absolutely. Till were old..."

"I want that, too."

"Good." I chuckled as she grinned.

"Maybe sooner than later?"

The seriousness in her tone catching my attention. "Is that something you'd want... right off? Us... Living together."

She leaned her face closer to mine, as she spoke in a whisper. "I wanna make memories with you Jacob. Lots of them. Create firsts together... Share new experiences..."

I saw her eyes light up anew with this confession, and it made me want to build her a house with my own damn hands right now. Something we could share together. "I would give you the world if I could, Bells."

"You already have... I have you..." She sighed, placing her head on my chest. "That is the world."

I ran my fingers through her long mahogany hair, wishing I could give her everything she wanted. Spoil her the way I longed to.

"You're my everything, honey."

She nodded and went silent, as she lifted her head to meet my gaze, her expression weary all of a sudden.

"Something on your mind?" I asked, already knowing the answer but prying anyway.

"Nothing worth mentioning."

"Is it important to you?"

"Yes..."

"Than it's worth mentioning, honey."

"I don't wanna ruin this with an argument." She admitted.

"Bells... We're gonna disagree on things... now and then... or sometimes more often than usual... that doesn't mean we won't figure it out or that it's not worth mentioning."

She nodded in understanding and moved herself so she was beside me, propping herself up on one elbow. Her fingertips coming to trace patterns along my chest when she spoke.

"You're only one man Jacob. You can't be everywhere at once and you're utterly exhausted. I know you well enough to see that."

"Bells... " I sighed, catching her hand in mine. Her eyes meeting my own. "We've talked about this.."

"No... You've denied it and argued the importance of the situation to me. That's not having a discussion!"

"That's because I don't think it needs discussing."

"So that's it?" She asked, taking her hand from mine and rolling flat on her back with a heavy sigh.

"That's not what I meant. I mean that you have to understand where I'm coming from-"

I paused mid-sentence when I felt the bed shift as she got to her feet and began dressing.

"Forget it." She replied sharply.

I got up and retrieved my own clothes, dressing in a hurry and retreating to her side of the room before she went downstairs. "Bells..."

She glanced up at me when I approached. Her gaze angry now. "I said I don't wanna fight. I think it's complete bullshit that you're not giving me a say in this though. You should know that. Aren't you the one always reminding me that we're a team?"

"We are a team. But you're being irrational about this."

"Irrational?" She countered. "Really?"

She spun on her heel and headed down stairs with me fast behind her.

"Bella I have to be on high alert right now. Your safety is everything to me."

She paused by the front door, whirling herself around abruptly to face me. "Don't you get it? Don't you understand how worried that makes me for you? Or is that only your job, too? How stupid of me Jacob. Here I was thinking that the worry for the one you loved went both ways in a relationship."

"Nothing's going to happen. I'm fine." I replied, following her out of the house and into the truck. She slammed the door as she got in the passenger side. The keys still in the ignition from before. I started it and headed back for La' Push. The angry tension between us thick as I drove.

Bella glanced out her window into the dark. I reached for her hand and felt her take mine, despite the anger. I understood her concern but I sure in hell wasn't budging on this. If anything happened to her...

She glanced my way and scooted herself in the middle, kissing my cheek as we stopped for a red light. "I'm sorry... I know you're only doing what you think is best. I just don't want you getting hurt."

"I know, honey. But this is what I do. Believe me when I tell you, I'll be fine."

She laid her head on my shoulder, her fingertips coming to stroke my arm as we pulled into my yard. The lights in the house were all out and I knew that meant the two old men were probably snoring away by now.

"Guess they didn't miss us too bad?" Bella laughed, her look mischievous and alluring.

"Guess not." I replied, leaning in and capturing her lips, a breathy moan escaping her in response.

"Better not start... or..." She paused.

"...Or I'll end up taking you in this truck soon." I finished for her. My eyes set on her own. She nodded once in understanding and pried herself away from me.

"We can't have that."

"Someday..." I replied to her with a wink and a slap to her ass, as we got out.

"You're insatiable Jacob Black..." She teased, pressing herself to me with a small kiss when we reached the front door.

"Mmm... for you? Always." I breathed in reply against her mouth.

"Think it will always be like this? So...intense?" She asked, nervously biting her bottom lip while awaiting my answer. I pulled her flush against me, my mouth crashing to hers and my tongue meeting her own. She wrapped her arms around my neck, her hands tangling in my hair. My hands roamed of their own accord down her backside, cupping her perfect ass and holding her to me.

The bulge in my jeans proving she had the same immediate affect on me as she always did. Her breathy moan making me want to strip her naked again.

I reluctantly broke the kiss and nuzzled her cheek as I whispered to her.

"It'll always be this way..." I assured her, seeing her face light up when she met my gaze as I released her.

We opened the front door, tiptoeing through the silent house and headed for my room. I glanced at the clock, knowing I had to go, and quickly stripped down to just my jeans. The look of sincere dread on Bella's face hitting me hard before I left.

I went to her, taking her face in my hands and kissing her one more time. "Don't worry. I'll be back before dawn. You can sleep here. Make yourself at home, honey. When you wake up, I'll have you in my arms again... Promise."

"Okay... I'll miss you and I'll be waiting."

I smiled and saw her return it before heading out of the house and straight for the woods. I phased and dug my paws into the marshy ground, the darkness of the night surrounding me as I took off for the river where Seth, Quil and Paul were waiting for me to start patrol.

"_Bout damn time you showed up." _Quil huffed, pacing back and forth at the edge of the river_._

_"I'd say. We beat you here. Where the hell were you?-" _Paul asked, as he trudged out of the water_._

My mind went to Bella and the thoughts that unwillingly followed gave them all a birds eye view. I was too late to reign them in and based on Paul's loud thoughts that immediately followed, they'd seen everything_._

_"No need to explain bro. We get it. I mean who the hell would resist..." _Paul started in again. My patience growing thin from it_._

_"Knock it off." _I replied, harshly, nudging into him as I passed.

Seth knew enough to keep silent, a respectful quality about him I admired. He switched topics in an effort to shut Paul up.

_"So you're really taking that trip to see Renee with Bella?" _He asked, as we headed deeper into the woods_._

_"I want her away from town for a bit."_ I replied, picking up my stride_._

_"Smart." _Quil added_. "There's been no new scent yet. Nothing out of the ordinary. Billy did reach the elders. There's enough of us to spread out."_

_"Good. There has to be. I sure as hell wouldn't go if there wasn't. Can't afford to miss anything."_

_"Agreed." _Paul huffed, all sense of joking manor now gone from him_._

_"I made a run by the Cullen's old place earlier. There was no sign of Emerson. No car... nothing."_ Paul remarked_._

I huffed to him in understanding as we ran on, my mind beginning to race, as I thought of him scheming with the Volturi. Seeming to be Aro's bitch now and all_._

_"I'm telling you... he was no where to be fucking found earlier today. Not a trace of him." _Paul huffed, dragging me out of my thoughts_._

_"Maybe he took the hint from your ass kicking and left town?" _Seth suggested as we crossed the town border_._

_"No way. He wouldn't tuck tail and run that easy. Especially if he's linked with the Italian red eyes." _Paul barked harshly in reply_._

_"He's not gone. Mark my word." _I huffed, pushing ahead of the them.

We ran the border three times, only stopping for short drinks every now and then before taking off full speed again. When Dawn approached, we headed to the lumber yard and were met by a waiting Brady, Embry, and Jared who took the day patrol runs. I filled them in and instructed them each to keep a close eyes out for Ryan and to alert me immediately if any new trail was picked up. With that, we parted ways. Paul and Seth darting home in hope to catch a few hours of sleep. Quil ran with me back to my house, both of us exhausted.

When we reached my back yard and phased back, retrieving our clothes, he addressed me.

"You got a minute?"

"What's up?"

"I heard you made a mends with Sam?"

"Yea - We're talking... things are better. It'll take time..."

"That's great man." Quil replied with a nod my way. "Good to have things back to the way they were... well... somewhat."

I nodded in agreement and waited for him to finish the thought as he glanced toward my house. The sun barely peeking above the horizon.

"You think Emerson is really working for the Volturi?"

"I do." I replied.

"Alright... Look.. This may be a complete shot in the dark, but... What if we're all not looking at the obvious here?"

I stopped walking, the urgency in his tone catching my attention. "Like what?"

"Edward." He replied, his eyes meeting mine. "I think this could be more him than the Volturi. Think about it Jake... She was his whole existence at one time. She even agreed to marry the guy. No one's seen him... or any of them since then."

I paused and glanced toward the house, the sound of Bella's steady beating heart cutting through the silence for me.

Quil had a point, and a damn good one. None of them had blown through here since. Not one of them...

"I mean where the hell have they vanished to?" Quil asked, taking a step closer to me, his tone low and laced with concern. "What if this whole thing is just a ploy to get us focused on the wrong person... the wrong concern... So he can come back for her. Who the hell knows what he's been up to since the wedding? You know that Aro wanted him to join them at one time. Alice too... If they're both with the Volturi now..." He trailed off, his words now echoing loudly through my mind.

I felt my skin blaze as I pondered this. Everything Quil had brought to my attention made sense and while I'd pondered this before, I hadn't attributed for the fact that maybe... just fucking maybe... they were all working together and this mess with Emerson was a set up from the start. A set up to distract us from the bigger picture.

"I'm not crazy, right?"

"No Quil... not even close."

"If they're together with this, Jake... We'd be unprepared and vastly outnumbered. I wanted to tell you my thoughts on this before you left."

"If I leave... This changes things... I won't take that kind of risk. Thank you... for saying something."

"Sure thing." He replied, shaking my hand. "Think about it..."

"Trust me... I will."

I headed inside, trying not to wake up the entire household in the process. Charlie and Billy were still snoring loudly away in the living room. Completely oblivious to me sneaking down the hall and entering my room.

My eyes fell on Bella as I closed the door, seeing her fast asleep with a contented look on her beautiful face. I took a moment to study her features, Quil's words resonating within me. My gut now screaming at me that he wasn't crazy at all. That what he'd said wasn't as far fetched as he'd thought it to be. If anything, he was dead on.

I crawled in bed with her and felt her stir, turning herself over to face me. I moved her close to me and felt her nestle her face into my neck.

"You're back." She whispered with a yawn.

"Told you I would be."

"You kept your promise." She sighed.

"Always..."


	23. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any recognizable content/ characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N: Hi Everyone! :-) As usual I'd like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who is following this story. I love to hear your reviews and smile each time I see them! Your support means a lot to me! I appreciate everyone taking the time to read and review this story and am grateful for those who have favorited/followed. I have big plans for this fiction and am committed to seeing it through till the very last chapter. I will try to update again in the next few days, but this week I have College finals, so there may be a delay for the next chapter. I promise to do my best! Till then... HAPPY READING :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY - FOUR**

**BPOV**

It was still early when I awoke in Jake's arms. The smell of coffee and eggs wafting through the house as I opened my eyes and glanced around the room. Jacob was sound asleep, his breathing deep and his arms tightening around me when I stirred. One hand was pressed against my stomach while the other had come to cup my breast. I couldn't help but smile and nestle myself further into him under the covers. It was moments like these that made me forget the rest of the world and all the worries that went along with it. Times like this that made me think about the future, about what waking up to him every morning would be like. My mind would wander to places it often had with Jacob. Places like what our home would look like one day, what it would be like to hear the sound of small children's laughter in the early hours of Christmas morning.

I was abruptly brought back to the present when the sound of Charlie's voice carried down the hall. "Think I should wake her?"

"Let her sleep, Charlie." Billy's distant reply soon followed.

I knew the look of disapproval I would get once I joined them. A look from my father that said... "You're not fooling anyone. I know exactly what you did last night."

I felt my cheeks warm with a blush as I slowly slipped out of Jake's grasp. He hardly moved when I kissed his cheek and dressed for the day, running my fingers through my hair in an attempt to smooth the tangled mess it had become in the night.

I emerged from his room and timidly made my way to the kitchen. Charlie stood up from the table when he saw me, handing me a hot cup of coffee as he spoke. "Morning..."

"Good morning."

"You uh... Sleep okay?" Charlie asked, clearing his throat in nervous fashion.

"Yea. Slept fine." I replied, stealing a glance at Billy and seeing him chuckle as he flipped through the morning paper.

"You guys were gone for a while... Sam and Emily must have damn near moved the whole house around last night?"

I bit my bottom lip and felt my cheeks flame, Billy thankfully throwing me a life line the moment he saw the look I wore.

"Well Charlie... with Emily being so far along now, I'm sure they could've used the help with setting up the nursery."

I shot Billy a grin and he returned it with a wink as Charlie went to refill his coffee.

"Speaking of Sam, haven't had to haul his ass off to the drunk tank lately... Well... then again, I haven't cuffed anyone lately..." He sighed.

"Sam's doing much better these days." Billy replied.

"Think we should get headed back home, Bella? Got some paperwork to fill out for the station later today." Charlie asked, looking expectedly my way.

"Sure... I'll just finish my coffee and we can get going." I replied, hating to leave Jacob, but knowing how desperately he needed the rest today. With any hope, he could finally get the day worth of uninterrupted sleep he so deserved.

I hugged Billy and thanked him for letting us stay. He smiled wide in reply and told me he would let Jake know we'd gone home if he should resurface in the next ten hours. Charlie also said his thanks as we left, telling Billy he hoped for a win next week when the Mariners were scheduled to play again.

I was relieved to know Jake would be crashed for the day and was also happy to see that my father seemed to buy Billy's explanation for Jake and I being out so late last night. That was a conversation I never wanted to have with Charlie. I was almost certain he wouldn't survive if. I half laughed to myself as we pulled into the driveway and headed in from the rain.

I spent much of the afternoon busying myself around the house. Tending to the loads of neglected laundry, the dishes and my many unread emails. Renee had sent me four. I took the time to read each one and immediately wrote her a lengthy reply. I apologized for not being in touch lately and told her all about Jacob and I, and how much I missed her. I ended the email with a promise to call her soon and told her I loved her. I failed to touch on the fact that Jake had mentioned they had spoken recently, or the fact that he'd already asked me about heading her way for a brief visit soon. I decided it would be best to discuss the trip with Jake further before rushing into making a firm commitment to Renee. I knew my mother well and knew she wasn't one to handle let downs so great. So I avoided this if possible with her.

I had just sent the email to her when my cell phone rang on the desk beside me. The number flashing on the screen listed as unknown. I glanced down at it, and hit the ignore option, thinking that it was someone trying to sell me something or take some damn survey, neither of which I wanted to listen to.

As dusk approached, Charlie had fallen asleep in his recliner, his beer still clutched in his hand. I gingerly took it from him and placed it back in the fridge before getting started on dinner. I made meatloaf for Charlie, and was just finishing up the last load of laundry when there was a knock on the front door. I dropped the basket in my hands, excited to think it may be Jacob.

"Coming..." I yelled down the hall, swiftly making my way to the door and opening it without a second thought. "I was wondering when you wou-" I began, my breath catching in my throat, as my eyes met the familiar golden hue of Edward Cullen's.

I stared at him in disbelief as he stood in my doorway. His stature just as graceful and perfect as I remembered it to be. His velvet like voice surrounding me as he spoke.

"Bella..."

I tried to say something, but was failing miserably at remembering the simplest of damn words. Edward took note of this and his classic crooked grin soon appeared. His golden eyes capturing my own. "I know it's... been... a while."

I nodded and took a few steps back, gesturing for him to come in without even knowing why. Edward crossed the threshold with a genuine smile of recognition lighting up his features as he turned to address me again. "You look... stunning... as always."

I cleared my throat, nervously running my hands through my hair, and smoothing out my blouse. Why the hell was I attempting to fix my appearance? I met his gaze and thanked him. My words thankfully returning to me.

My head was foggy and my mind raced with thoughts of the last time I'd seen him... our wedding day. I swallowed hard, trying to push the images out of my mind. But they were stubborn and hard pressed to stay.

"Wh... What are you ... I mean... you're..." I stammered. The palms of my hands growing sweaty and my scalp now prickling with anxiety as I tried again. "What are you doing here?"

His look grew solemn when I asked this. His eyes leaving mine and taking in the house, seeming to purposefully advert my gaze. I couldn't help but stare at him in awe. Seeing his bronzed hair, still worn in the same disheveled way it always had been. His skin... translucent and timeless. His style well put together, much in the same way as before. I bit my bottom lip, nervously awaiting his reply.

"I came back to see you." He finally sighed with a shrug.

"Me?"

"Yes... you. After all, the last time we conversed, you were running out on our wedding. So, I figure this time is bound to go much better than the last... right?" He joked, taking a step closer to me. I sucked in a breath. My head whirling now from the oddly familiar scent of him that invaded my senses. A scent I hadn't encountered since I'd left him that day. No cologne could touch it and it was just as strong as it ever was.

I moved back from him, seeing the small hint of pain that touched his features in response. "Not even a friendly hug after all this time?" He asked, his look genuine and dare I say... hopeful even. Against my better judgment, I took a small step toward him, feeling him soon embrace me. The coldness of him invading me the same way it used to. Chilling me to the bone. I closed my eyes and hugged him back, feeling myself get lulled back into his familiar embrace.

The realization causing me to feel unsettled and pull away, seeing the same crooked grin return to his face when he released me. "I've missed you greatly..." He sighed.

I offered him to join me in the kitchen while I finished dinner. My head telling me to make him leave, that this wasn't fair to Jacob and would make him think the worst if he should show up right now. My heart began to race as I pondered this... knowing he very well could be popping in here anytime.

I stopped at the oven and pulled out the meatloaf. My hands shaking from nervous energy as I set it to cool on the stove top. I could feel Edward's eyes on me before I even turned. His look reflective and haunted at times.

"Are you here alone?" I asked.

"Yes... Just me. Carlisle sends his best though."

"He knows you're here?"

"They all do."

"They?" I questioned.

"Carlisle... Esme... Alice and Jasper... Rosalie and Emmett."

The mention of them all had me more nervous than before. "I'm sure you're here looking for some sort of apology?"

He shook his head in reply. "No... There's no need for one. Bella I-"

I felt the truth come bubbling up and offered it to him without thinking twice, before he could say another word.

"Edward... You should know, I'm... with Jacob now."

Edwards eyes flashed to mine. His look a mix of haunted and tortured. "You're happy."

His remark coming out as more of a statement than that of a question to me. "I am."

"That's what matters to me, Bella."

I nodded, silently counting down the seconds until Jacob would drop in and there would be an all out blood bath in my kitchen, one that would surely scar my unsuspecting father for decades to come. I wasn't sure any amount of therapy would be able to erase that for him.

"Thank you. But you should go."

He smiled and nodded, soon following me out from the kitchen.

"I understand your worry. It's no secret that Jacob doesn't particularly like me now is it?" He grinned, as I opened the door for him to leave.

"No... it isn't."

"Can we maybe ... talk another time. Say... this week? When you're free?"

"I don't think we shou-"

"Please? There are some things I need to speak with you more about and can see this isn't the time."

My hand clutched the door tightly, as my mind tried to pull up a suitable reply for him. "We'll see... It was nice to see you again Edward."

"You as well Bella." He replied, leaving without so much as another word. When his car was out of sight, I swiftly shut the door, a rush of adrenaline now invading my system as I went back to the kitchen and dialed Jacob. I only let it ring twice before hanging up, feeling guilt that the call may have woken him up.

"Shit..." I cursed under my breath, nervously wringing my hands together as I paced the kitchen floor.

I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't care that he stopped in. Why did I care? I had spent two years in Florida trying to discover who the hell I was without Edward... or any of the Cullen's for that matter. I was in a much better place now, and even though I had made a lot of progress in that time, that didn't mean I didn't miss the Cullen's. I'd be lying if I said they didn't cross my mind now and again, more often then not lately, now that I was back home in Forks. I still carried a lot of guilt with me over leaving Edward the way I did, and his unexpected visit tonight had brought that all to the surface.

I went back down the hall and gathered the clothes that had fallen out of the full laundry basket I had dropped in my rush before, taking them to my room and folding them. I wouldn't allow Edwards sudden reappearance in my life to stir up any more trouble for Jacob and I. We had enough going on right now. With Ryan and his father, not to mention Charlie being shot a few weeks ago, and the threat of the Volturi constantly looming over our heads, we were dealing with enough.

When I finished putting away the piles of laundry, I heard Charlie digging out plates for dinner in the kitchen.

"You've been busy today." Charlie said over dinner.

"Just trying to help out."

"Thanks... Did I hear someone at the door a while ago?"

I moved the food around on my plate, aimlessly picking at it, without really eating any. "Edward stopped by."

I glanced up when I heard Charlie cough loudly as he took a drink of water. "What... Edward? What the hell did he want?"

"Just to say hello."

"You believe that? Really?"

I simply shrugged and pushed my full plate away. All appetite lost from me now.

"I didn't even know they were back in Forks? When did that happen?"

"I'm not sure..."

"Hmm..." Charlie grumbled, as he got up from the table. "Perfect timing to show back up. Just when you and Jake finally get your shot. You know I don't like him still, right?"

"Uh... yeah dad... you've never been one to hide that fact."

"Well you should stay away from that guy, Bella. He's ... not for you..."

"In case you forgot, I was gonna marry him."

"No... I haven't forgot and please don't remind me."

"Im not the same person I was then, dad. I'm not... I see things differently now."

Charlie turned to face me. His look serious. "I know that kiddo. I can see that. I just don't trust him as far as I could throw him. He's... manipulative and sneaky. You know what they say, Bella... Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways."

"Very True..." I replied with a simple nod.

"Just be careful ... for your old mans sake?"

"I will..."

He offered me a smile and returned to the sports channel that played loudly in the living room, leaving me alone for a while with my thoughts.

As the night wore, my exhaustion kicked in. I glanced over to see the stove clock, seeing it was now nearly eleven. I wanted to stay awake long enough for Jacob in case he decided to come see me before his early morning patrol run, but fighting off sleep was proving to be harder by the minute.

I dressed for bed and checked my email again to see that Renee had already replied to me. She wrote about the weather and how nice it was there, something I had come to miss greatly. She also told me that Phil was having some problems with his left shoulder lately and that the doctor had informed him he would need to have rotator cuff surgery sometime in the near future, putting his baseball career on hold until further notice. I went to type up a reply to her when I heard a loud engine pull into the driveway. I went to my window and peered down to see Jacob step out of Billy's old truck. The thought of telling him about Edwards sudden drop in had me nervous as I ran down over the stairs to greet him, opening the door and happy to see him looking well rested for the first time in weeks.

He drew me into his arms and kissed me softly on the lips. "You're still up? Figured you'd be asleep by now."

"Almost... But I wanted to wait for you."

"I'm sorry to keep you up waiting. Slept way longer than I intended to."

"You needed it." I replied, lightly kissing him again, as I took him by the hand and pulled him inside with me, pressing myself against his hard body. He smiled back at me with an all too eager look in his eyes.

"I wish we were alone..." I softly moaned.

Jacobs arms tightened around me in response, his nose brushing mine. "Me too, honey."

All too soon, I felt him release me, his strong hands taking mine.

"You look rested. Better." I admitted

"I feel better. How was your day?"

I met his gaze and summoned up the courage to tell him about Edwards unexpected visit, figuring now was better than later.

"We should go upstairs. I wanna talk to you..."

I saw the worry in his eyes as they searched my own. "Something happen today?"

I tugged him towards the stairs and felt his hand tighten in mine as we entered my room, taking a steady breath and turning back to face him. I was sincerely worried about his reaction to Edwards return back to Forks and hoped it would go better than I feared it may.

"Honesty first, right?"

"Always." He replied. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I just need you to remember that I love you... and this changes nothing with us, Jake."

He nodded to me once and listened intently.

"Edward came by... tonight..."

I watched as Jacobs look grew fierce and angry. His jaw clenching. "I know." He replied, through gritted teeth, releasing my hand and shifting his weight.

"You... you know?" I stammered, seeing him gesture to my shirt.

"I can smell him... A stench like that lingers for hours. Caught it the moment you were in arms reach of me."

"Oh..." I replied in a shaky breath... "I guess that detail slipped my mind... He's back in town."

"Yea..." He scoffed sarcastically. "I bet he is."

"He said he was alone and that he wanted to see me. He asked me if we could get together and talk sometime."

Jake scoffed again and turned from me. I went to him, placing myself in front of him once more, wanting to see his face. "I told him about you... about us... He knows. So please don't worry about me changing my mind. That was the old me... the naïve me... I'm not that person anymore." I took his face in my hands, still seeing the concern there. "I love you. Nothing he says will change that, Jacob."

He was silent as he processed this. I kissed him, wanting to erase whatever doubt was running through his mind now from Edwards return. Trying to assure him that my words were nothing but the truth. I felt his hands roam down my backside and I willed myself to pull away, meeting his hungry gaze.

He sighed once and looked deeply into my eyes. He must have been convinced that I was telling him the truth because he soon smiled brightly. I eagerly returned it, relieved he had no doubt.

"I believe you, honey." He replied, releasing me and taking on a more serious tone. "But I don't trust him in the least. Quil brought him to my attention last run."

"He did?"

"Bella... I think he's part of all this. I think they all might be."

His words were hard for me to swallow as I sat down on the edge of my bed. "What... what do you mean?"

"The timing is too coincidental, Bells. The more I think about it, the more what Quil said before makes perfect damn sense. Edwards scheming something. He may even be working with the Volt-"

"No!" I replied sharply, cutting him off before he could finish.

Jacobs eyes narrowed, his stance changing to defensive in a flash. "He could be."

"He wouldn't."

"You don't know that." He insisted.

"And neither do you." I replied, raising my voice a few octaves and getting to my feet.

"Unbelievable." He scoffed.

"Jake... I know you hate them... But the Cullen's would never purposefully cause me harm. They saw me as one of their own not so long ago."

"Well that's not the case now is it?" He snapped back.

"They would NEVER do that!" I yelled.

"Are you hearing yourself right now, Bella?" He asked in a low tone, taking a few steps my way. "You're already jumping to his defense."

"No... I'm jumping to the Cullen's defense because they wouldn't do what you're accusing them of. Carlisle hasn't been associated with the Volturi for years now. He was just as adamant in keeping me safe from them when they threatened to end me for knowing their secret, as you and the pack were when you helped fight the newborns and Victoria. You came together then for me. To help me. Why would they seek revenge now?

"You left Edward... remember? Or has seeing him again suddenly erased that fact for you?" He spat my way. His tone cold and causing my temper to flare.

"No. In case it slipped your mind... I left him based on my own decision and I made the right one. But that doesn't mean the Cullen's are out for some kind of revenge for me leaving. They don't hold grudges like that."

"You haven't seen him since then. You don't know what the hell he's been doing. He could be Aro's right hand man for all you know and Alice too for that matter."

"That's not fair to say Jacob. You're wrong." I replied. My frustration peaking, as I walked out of the room and back downstairs.

He followed me, reaching for my arm as I headed for the kitchen. "Bells..."

I shook my head and whirled back to face him. "You don't understand."

"What don't I understand?" He countered.

"You really think they'd do something so vicious as joining the Volturi in order to get back at me. The idea itself is crazy! They're not-"

"Killers..." Jacob finished for me. His tone acidic and bitter.

I harshly pulled my arm from his grasp and met his angry gaze. "They saved my life at one time. And that counts for something. It means something to me, whether you're accepting of that or not. It's reality and I don't believe they'd ever do this to me. If they were asked, they'd still fight for me today. They would seek to protect me in the very same way you would-"

Jacobs eyes darkened as he stared back at me. The look on his face as if I'd just slapped him. I stopped any further thought and felt my eyes sting with tears, as I realized what I'd just said and how very awful I already felt for even allowing it to leave my mouth.

"Jake... I ... I didn't mean..." I replied, reaching for his arm. He moved himself away from my touch and kept his eyes on my own a moment longer, before turning and walking away from me. I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat and went after him, feeling horrible for what I'd said.

My father heard the argument and came out to see what exactly was going on. His look growing concerned when his gaze fell on Jacob by the front door. "Hey son... leaving already?" Charlie asked, trying to break the tension.

"Yea." Jacob replied. "I gotta go, Charlie. See you later."

"Hope to see you tomorrow then?"

"Sure... Maybe."

I felt my heart painfully throb as he opened the door and left without looking back. Charlie stood in the open doorway and watched him take off. The sound of Billy's tires squealing as he peeled out of the driveway.

Charlie shut the door behind him and approached me. "Wanna tell me what that was about?"

I slowly shook my head and felt my eyes sting with new tears. Charlie sighed, wrapping me up in a hug.

"I said something awful..." I muttered into his shirt.

"About Edward?" Charlie asked.

"Sort of..."

I pulled back from the hug and met his worried look. "Bella... honey... Relationships are hard sometimes. I was afraid of this when you told me about Edward popping in earlier. You know that's a sore spot for Jake. I'm not blaming you... just do me a favor and don't let Edward start trouble for the two of you? I'm sure he'd love nothing more."

"I wont, dad. Thanks." I replied, kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I'm just gonna head to bed. I'll give Jake some time to cool off and call him in the morning."

"Alright... but uh... Take some advice from your old man... Try not to go to bed angry baby girl, and pick your battles wisely. Okay?"

I nodded to him and headed to my room, my heart aching over the fight with Jake. I crawled into bed, pulling the covers securely around me and regretting what I'd said to him. What the hell was I thinking? How could I have compared the two of them like that?

I wanted to hit the rewind button. To go back and eat my words before they even had the chance to leave my stupid mouth. I tossed and turned half the night, unable to shut my mind off and fall asleep despite my exhaustion. By two in the morning, I was growing desperate for sleep.

The unexpected feel of a cool breeze suddenly came rushing in from behind me. I abruptly sat up, the hair on the back of my neck rising when I switched on my bedside lamp to see Edward now standing by the window.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, my tone bitter and nervous.

"I just thought maybe you'd like me to stay here with you till you feel asleep. Like we used to?"

I looked at him in disbelief at his suggestion. Like we used to? There was no we... No us anymore.

"No... No Edward. How did you even ... Have you been outside watching this whole time? Listening?" I asked him in a harsh whisper.

His crooked and mischievous grin giving me my answer before he even spoke his reply. His look turned bashful when he sat down on the bed next to me.

"I didn't mean to cause problems with you and Jacob. That truly wasn't my intention, Bella. He seemed angry when he left, so I wanted to check on you... see if you were okay."

I got to my feet, wrapping my arms around my midsection. "That's not your Job... anymore... Edward." I watched his look grow pained as I continued. "I appreciate your kindness, but..."

"You love Jacob now..."

"Yes... I do."

"Completely?"

I raised my head and locked eyes with him. "Whole heartedly."

Edward nodded and swiftly arose from the bed. "He's very lucky and it's clear that taking care of you isn't my job anymore. I'm sorry to have ... intruded. I'll be seeing you, Bella. Sweet dreams."

I watched him as he went out my window and closed it firmly behind him. My mind racing back to what Jake has said tonight... Maybe I didn't know Edward anymore. Maybe it was naïve of me to think he was the same soulful individual he had been when I was set to marry him? That his intentions were still good and pure?

I went back to bed and read a book until I could no longer keep my eyes open. Around four in the morning, I finally succumbed to my exhaustion, somehow managing to turn off the turmoil in my mind long enough to fall asleep. My heart missing Jacob and his warmth as I drifted off.


	24. Chapter 25

**CHAPTER TWENTY - FIVE**

**A/N: Okay so I decided to spoil you guys with another chapter already. I'm hoping to be able to write one more before the end of this week! A HUGE THANKS to the reviews that came flooding in since the last update! I was so happy to see them. Thankful for each one you guys leave for me. It means so much that you take the time to do so! Okay so enough of my ramblings ;) On with the story... HAPPY READING!**

**BPOV (continued...)**

I awoke in the late hours of the next morning to the sound of loud hammering coming from outside. I sat up and listened to it continue as I gathered some clean clothes and took a hot shower. By the time I made my way to the kitchen, it was nearly noon and I felt like I'd wasted half the damn day in bed. I hated sleeping that late. It always felt like such a waste to me. But considering the fact that I'd been restless most of the night and wasn't able to find sleep till nearly dawn, it was understandable.

I poured myself some coffee and noticed a note laying next to the coffee maker. I picked it up and saw that Charlie had scribbled something to me. I couldn't help but chuckle to see his chicken scratch had hardly improved over the last few years. He really should invest in some penmanship classes or something.

When I squinted to make it out, I read that Jacob had stopped by a few hours ago and he wanted Charlie to give me the message that he'd be by for dinner tonight at seven.

I sat the note down, and sipped my warm coffee, wishing last night had never happened. I was too naïve with Edward and that carelessness had caused me to lash out at Jacob. If I knew him, and I did, I knew he probably hadn't slept that great last night, either.

I thought back to what Charlie had said to me before bed last night... "Don't go to bed angry baby girl, and pick your battles..."

I was wrong for what I'd said to Jacob and for even allowing Edward to cross the threshold of this house so easily. Jacob was right to be upset with me. How could I defend Edward, not knowing what exact part he may play in all this? I was too trusting... too accepting at times... This was one of them and I owed Jacob a huge apology.

I set my half finished coffee on the counter and grabbed my Jacket and keys from the living room, practically tripping over Charlie, who was still hammering away in order to repair the third rickety step on the porch, as I hurried to leave.

"Hey you... Where's the fire?" Charlie joked, as I kissed him on the cheek and jogged to my truck. "I take it you got the message Jake wanted me to give you?"

"Yea... I love you dad. I'll be back soon. Don't work too hard on the porch steps. You know what the doctor said about your shoulder. Rest..."

"Yea... Yea..." He grumbled.

I grinned with a small shake of my head and backed out, waving to him as I sped off for Jakes. I was ashamed of myself for reacting the way I did last night. I was still so eager to defend him when nothing warranted me to do so. The more I thought about it, the more angrier I became at myself.

My mind wandered to Edward appearing in my room last night, as if we were still us. The memory of him standing so casually by my window, as if the clock had turned back to three years before and nothing had changed. What would make him think he had the right to just show up like that? The act now caused me to feel uneasy and weary. His haunted expression sticking in my mind, as I crossed into La' Push land and made my way down the Reservation. I'd been such a fool last night... an absolute fool.

My truck parked behind Billy's and relief washed over me to see Jake might be home. I made my way to the front door where Billy greeted me with a classic Billy Black smile.

"Well there you are. Been expecting you to show up around here sometime soon."

"You have?" I asked, giving him a small hug.

"Sure have. Jake mentioned when he returned home from patrol that you were still sleeping. That's unlike you? Feel alright?" He asked, genuine concern in his warm tone.

"I just... didn't sleep that well last night..." I paused, glancing away from him, unsure of how much he knew.

"You're not the only one..." Billy replied. I looked down to see his knowing gaze upon me, and realized he probably knew a lot more than I thought about what happened with Jake and I last night. I glanced toward the garage when I heard a few loud crashes coming from that direction, and from what sounded like tools being tossed around. "Been out there since dawn he has."

"He didn't sleep at all?" I asked.

"Not a wink..."

I gave Billy an apologetic look before heading for the garage. The noise only getting worse the closer I got. I peeked my head in to see Jake tossing a handful of wrenches to the garage floor. An angry expression on his face, one I knew I was responsible for putting there. He went back to working under the hood of his car, elbow deep in grease and wearing ripped jeans with a now grease covered white t-shirt. I walked around the other side of the car, my steps timid as I went and my heart heavy with regret.

Jake suddenly slammed the hood of his car down, nearly jumping me out of my skin and effectively stopping me where I was. His head snapped up when he heard me gasp from the noise, his dark eyes meeting mine. He looked worn out and utterly spent. I mentally kicked myself for the tenth time today for ever saying what I'd said to him last night. Me and my stupid damn mouth sometimes.

I took a few more steps toward him, aching to close the distance between us. To feel his arms around me again. His eyes watched me intently as I moved. When I was only a few feet from him, he held his hands up in caution.

"I'm filthy." He sighed, grabbing a rag near by and wiping some of the grease from his hands.

"You've been out here since dawn?"

He nodded to me, tossing the rag down beside him as his gaze returned to me. "Couldn't sleep."

"Me either..." I admitted.

"Charlie told me you were up late when I stopped by earlier."

"I got your message..."

"I would've come by for dinner. Like I said." He replied. "Unless you have other plans?"

"No... Plans? What plans?"

"Didn't know if you'd be seeing Edward for dinner tonight?" Jake countered bitterly.

"I wouldn't do that-"

"Really?" He snapped. "Seemed like you would of last night-"

"Jacob!"

"What!" He yelled, kicking his tools around a few more times.

"You really think I'd have dinner with him?"

"Why not?" He asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "The idea's really not that far fucking fetched. Hell.. why not call them all up and invite the whole damn parasitic clan? I'm sure if you bring enough AB positive, they'll show up faster than you can say Cullen!"

His words were harsh, but I held my tongue, because I knew I deserved this. His biting remarks were well justified.

"You're angry..."

"You don't miss a thing do you?"

"Jake I-"

"No Bells... Not this time. I know all too well how this will go! We've done this song and dance before, remember? He shows up and puts all this bullshit back in your head, reminding you of what you had with him, or what kind of luxurious lifestyle he can still offer you and you fall for it, hook line and sinker. Once again, I'll end up being the fucking shmuck who gave his heart out too soon. Just like before... just like always. So go ahead and tell me what you came here to say. Come on Bells... No sense in dragging this out. Get it over with. Like I said before, better to get all the re - breaking done at once!"

"Stop it!" I yelled, His last remark causing tears to cloud my vision.

Jacobs eyes met mine and despite the anger he showed, I could see something else in his gaze, something just beneath the surface ... fear... Fear of What Edward's return meant for us.

"I know you're still angry with me, and you have every right to be. And maybe I should've come to you last night.. not waited or given you time to cool off. I just thought you wanted some space for the night... But then I got your message and I wanted - ... I needed to see you before you came over for dinner. I didn't wanna wait that long before talking to you." I took another few steps and saw him take one as well.

"I'm still covered in grease, Bells." He sighed in warning, gesturing to his torn jeans and soiled t-shirt. "I'll get you dirty."

I went to him anyway, closing the small distance left between us and seeing the previously angry and guarded expression he had worn, slip away the moment I stepped closer to him. "I am so sorry for what I said to you last night. I had no reason or right to defend Edward like that. I was wrong Jacob and I wish I could take back what I said, because it should've never left my mouth to begin with. You were right... I don't know him like I used to, and it would be naïve for me to think he was just the same. The truth is, I don't know if he's involved."

I reached for his hands, taking them securely in mine. "I'm ashamed of what I said... comparing you the way I did ..." My eyes soon stung with the threat of tears, unable to hide my shame. "I was wrong to ever do that. It was hurtful to you and I'm truly sorry."

"What did Edward say in your room last night?" Jacob asked, in a tense tone. I glanced up at him, stunned to discover he already knew this. He saw my confusion and clarified. "I always watch out for you... remember that. Even if we're fighting, Bells. Nothing will ever change that. I made a run by your house last night on patrol and picked up on his trail. I saw him leave out your window and followed him..."

I felt my stomach drop from his words. His look fierce, angry, and yet concerned all at the same time.

"You followed him... where? Why?"

"To his old house." Jake replied in a clipped tone, releasing my hands and stepping out around me.

"Where Ryan was.?"

He stopped and turned back to face me. "You mean where Ryan is."

I felt my blood run cold as Jacob locked eyes with me, revealing in his own way that he now knew a lot more than he was saying.

"Edwards... really in on this?"

"He's working for them, Bella. I can't prove that to you right now, but I will soon enough. You're just gonna have to take my word for it."

My mind raced and my hands shook a bit when I thought of how Ryan had been in my life since Freshman year.

"Ryan's been ... around me since I first started College. " I whispered, mainly to myself, but with Jake's impeccable hearing, he heard it, too.

"I know. They've known your every move from the moment you met him... maybe even before. Edwards baiting him with the promise of turning him for payment of his services. I have not a fucking clue why Ryan wants to become what they are, but he does and Edward's using that desire to his full advantage right now."

"What..." I breathed, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"It's true. I heard them discussing this myself last night when I followed him. I know you don't wanna believe this, but it's true." He paused, and crossed the garage to meet me. His hands coming to cradle my face and his look pleading. "I need you to trust me... believe me when I tell you... Edward is not who he used to be. He's not the person you were with back then. I can't speak for the rest of them right now, but everything in me believes Edward is working for Aro. And I can't have you anywhere near him, Bella. He's not safe, honey. I love you with everything in me and I don't wanna fight with you, but I will if that's what it takes to get you to see how incredibly dangerous he is right now."

The earnest look in his brown eyes and the devotion in his tone, told me this was his absolute truth. I had given Edward the benefit of the doubt in the past, but this was different. I was no longer the senseless girl who followed him around and believed everything he said. No... I'd left that girl behind when I left him at the alter, and I wouldn't adopt that mentality again, or be so foolish as to ignorantly turn a blind eye to what was happening now.

"I do believe you." I told Jacob, throwing my arms around his neck and feeling his own arms wrap around me securely. I siphoned his warmth and took comfort in the sanctuary his embrace always provided me. The assurance of safety and the peaceful feeling being wrapped up in him left me with.

I felt him release me a bit, his eyes searching mine for truth. I willingly offered it to him,

"He came in my room and asked if I wanted him to stay with me. Said he saw you leave angry and thet he wanted to check on me, make sure I was okay." I saw Jake's eyes narrow when I said this and I quickly finished my explanation before he could draw the wrong conclusion. "I told him it wasn't his job to take care of me anymore... and that I loved you... whole heartedly. Jacob, I know I've ran in the past and foolishly taken him back when he left me before, but please believe me when I tell you that I'm not that person anymore. My heart is with you now... it always has been."

I felt his grip on me tighten as he pressed his forehead to mine, the rain starting to beat down on the garage. "I hate fighting with you."

"Me too." I replied, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Are we on the same page with this now?" He asked.

"Absolutely."

"Good." He breathed against my lips before capturing them eagerly with his own. The kiss sweet and sensual at first, but soon turning hungry and insistent, as his tongue met mine and a soft moan escaped me. "I love you Bells..."

"I love you, too." I replied, pressing myself further into him, and reaching my hands up under his t-shirt.

"Your hands are freezing, sweetheart. Come inside with me?" He asked, taking both my hands in his and warming them.

"You must be dead on your feet?" I sighed.

"I'll be okay."

"No way. You have patrol later again and you need your strength. How about I make you lunch and then head home so you can rest?"

He pulled me against him and kissed me passionately, his hands roaming and leaving me breathless.

"I don't like that idea."

"But-"

I was silenced by the look in his eyes as he spoke again. "To be honest, right now, I just wanna hold you... all afternoon... if you'll let me?"

"Only if you promise to try and get some sleep before you head out again?"

"Some rest? Define some?" He chuckled, his left hand trailing down to my backside.

"That's certainly not resting..."

"Depends on your definition of rest, honey."

"Jacob Ephraim..." I giggled when he gave my ass a light tap.

"What can I say, Bells. You're beautiful... intoxicating... I can't help it."

"Well you're gonna have to try!" I laughed as he released me and I playfully ran from him, only making it to the garage door before he caught me around the waist. His arms holding me there.

"Why do I have to try?" He whispered in my ear. The feel of his warm breath brushing my skin and causing me to lose my focus.

"Because..." I breathed in reply, coming up empty for an answer as he nestled his cheek to mine, his firm chest pressed against my back and making me melt into him. "You need your rest..."

"Not as much as I need you." He replied in a husky whisper, one that sent chills down my spine.

"Really?"

"Always..."

"Well that's good to know cause I'm not going anywhere."

I felt his grip tighten on me, his warmth enveloping me. "Please don't." He breathed. The genuine plea in his tone touching my heart and stirring my very soul.


	25. Chapter 26

**A/N: Yes, it's another update! :) I'm sorry for the wait guys! But here it is! Look for more this weekend and as always ,happy reading and a huge thank you to all those who have reviewed/favorite/followed this story.**

**CHAPTER TWENTY - SIX**

**(JPOV)**

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my front door. My father jumping a bit when he heard me as he wheeled himself in from the kitchen.

"What the hell's gotten into you?" I thought you were at Bella's?"

"Cullen." I managed through gritted teeth.

My father narrowed his eyes. "Cullen? What? Not ... Edward?"

"Of course. Who the hell else!"

"He's back in town?"

I was too angry to answer him, my head still full of how Bells had so adamantly defended the leech.

"That's why you're not with her? Is he over there!" My father half yelled.

"He was."

"And!"

"And she thinks its crazy for me to assume his involvement in all this. But I know he's working with Emerson and probably Aro, too! I told Bella that, just now, and she all but said I was fucking crazy!"

My father grabbed the house phone from the coffee table and tossed it to me. "Call her. Right now."

I caught the phone in one hand and looked at him as if he'd suddenly sprouted wings! "Call her!? She's the one who should be apologizing to me."

"Work through this. You have every right to be angry at her reaction, but trust me son, if you don't talk to her... Edward wins. In this instance... doesn't matter whose right or wrong, Jacob."

"The hell it doesn't!" I snapped.

"I'm not saying she was right for what she said, but Jacob... He could be with her right now for all you know! And what matters is she hears an apology from you. Don't let him use this against you. Swallow your pride and apologize."

"No." I said firmly to him, storming off into my room and changing my clothes before throwing myself down on my bed for some more sleep. I was still exhausted and after seeing Bella, angry as hell to boot.

Apologize... yeah... cause I'm the one who needed to... She'd done nothing fucking wrong tonight. No, of course not, she'd only let the parasite walk right in without so much as blinking twice. Then defended him to the point of fighting with me! Yea... sure dad... I'll rush right back over there and apologize. No fucking way...

I was startled awake a few short hours later by frantic pounding on my front door. I stumbled to my feet, already mentally cursing whoever the hell it was out for waking me the fuck up. "Who the hell..." I mumbled, as I harshly ripped open the door to see Embry there. His wide eyed look of panic snapping me out of my pissed off state.

"I know you're beat and need your sleep, but I just came from my shift and we picked up on a new trail near Bella's. Been Fresh on its heels. It's definitely Cullen."

His words sank in and I was now wide awake, any groggy feeling was long since forgotten at the mention of Cullen. I took off for the woods, on a dead run with Embry fast behind me. My tremors took hold of me and I phased mid - run, coming to land on all fours and taking off without a second look back.

_"How many?" _I asked.

_"One..."_

He didn't have to elaborate. I knew what one he was referring to and I picked up my speed, Embry struggling to keep up with me.

_"Paul and Colin are on watch at Bella's house."_ Embry huffed_._

It wasn't long before the over powering aroma hit me hard in the face. The stench revolting and nauseating as we ran. I bolted for the town line and was nearing her back yard mere minutes later. I watched him with hate as he emerged from her house_. _Out the damn window, no less. The sight of him causing a menacing growl to erupt from me.

_"What the fuck... He's back here?"_ Paul huffed, sauntering in front of me and glancing toward the house. _"I say we kill him... just for fucking sport."_

I watched him closely as he took off through the woods and went after him without thought or intent. The action driven on raw and primal instinct. I heard Paul and the others quickly come after me but I halted them in their tracks with an order_._

_"DON'T FOLLOW ME. STAY PUT!"_

They all fell back and I bolted through the dark forest. My paws digging into the marshy ground beneath me and my head full of profanity for him as I closed in. He stopped abruptly and whirled to face me as I skidded to a halt a few feet from him_._

_"_Jacob... I've been expecting this..."

"Have you? Expecting what exactly?" I snapped, feeling him invade my mind.

"I assure you, my visit here is warranted. You need to understand this. I have no intention to deviate from the treaty..."

"I see you're still full of just as much bullshit as you ever were."

He took a step closer to me and I instinctively snarled in warning.

"You seem threatened, Jacob. You really should have more confidence in your relationship with Bella. After all, she has already informed me of her commitment to you."

I lurched forward, snapping my teeth inches from him. "My relationship with Bella is none of your fucking business. You'd be smart to remember that if you value your miserable inhuman existence."

"I don't take kindly to threats-"

"It's not a threat leech, it's a promise." I cut in sharply. "You cross one dead limb into La'Push and I'll end you."

"It seems you've adjusted to your true calling well. Being Alpha suits you. But I ask you this... Why would I need to cross into your land? After all, I have eyes everywhere. All the time. It would be of no use to me to cause such an uproar."

A low growl left me as he whirled and took off, fleeting with the speed of sound into the night, my eyes trailing after his path.

I waited just long enough for his revolting scent to dissipate, before heading to the one place I knew he'd be. I stayed hidden within the cover of the forest and listened closely as I approached his old lair. Even the far off sight of it, made me want to burn the fucking place to the ground. I listened intently, and soon heard their low hisses filter through the many hushed sounds of the night.

"You don't understand, my father is getting suspicious and I have nothing to deter him." Ryan said.

"You need to find a way to deter him. This is not my job to do for you. I thought you understood your purpose when we originally made our deal."

"I don't work for you."

"Not directly, no, but you'd do well to mind your place." Edward hissed.

"And what exactly is my damn place?" Ryan snapped.

"You are well aware of it. Do I need to remind you to be patient. Your reward is eternal. Can't you find it within yourself to show a bit more restraint?"

"Not really... The way I see it... He has it coming." Ryan snapped.

"I think you need a lesson in patience. After all, being trigger happy doesn't always mean success. Aro warned you about this himself, did he not?"

"Yes... But he also failed to mention that Jacob might discover our plan and come after me."

"Irrelevant... nonetheless..." Edward sighed, despondently.

"Irrelevant! How the hell do you figure? I spent two nights in the hospital because of that jackass. He damn near killed me."

"You're being irrational. If Jacob Black really wanted you dead, you would be. Therefore, making this conversation a mute point."

"I need a convincing story of some kind, or my father will go snooping around. He called a legit lawyer last week and expects me to meet with him. What am I suppose to say?"

"You are to tell him the truth... Jacob came uninvited to your place of residence and attacked you. If we're lucky, they'll arrest him."

"Bella's father is Charlie Swan, He's the chief of police! highly doubt it!"

"Charlie is the least of your worries. He's not one you should concern yourself with. Trust me. All in good time, my friend. Besides, he's not in commission right now is he?"

"No, but that won't last long."

"Well... if you'd aimed properly the first time, we wouldn't need to have this conversation now would we?"

"So I have shitty aim. You could've ended him just as easily."

The conversation abruptly stopped when a cell phone cut them off. I sunk further back into the woods and waited in hopes he would elaborate a bit more. I couldn't hear Edwards conversation due to the insanely loud rock music that Ryan had turned on. I turned and ran full speed for the lumber yard, my alerting howl piercing through the night air and signaling the others to meet me there. I hadn't even made it a mile out before my thoughts were no longer my own.

Angry snarls ripped from them as the whole pack came to our meeting point. My mind running over what Edward had spoken to Ryan about.

_"He tried to kill Charlie. He could be after Billy next! Or any of our families for that matter. I vote we take his ass out now." _Paul growled, swiping his paws on the ground beneath him_._

_"You don't know how many others are involved. We can't go running in blind here for shits sake!" _Seth joined in_._

_"Well we sure as fuck can't just sit around and wait! Im with Paul here!" _Colin added. His brother stepping to his side with a nod of compliance to his suggestion_._

_"Who knows if the whole damn Cullen Clan is secretly in on this." _Jarod added with a huff_._

_"With Alice's visions, we can't take that risk, Jake! Not if Aro's involved." _Quil countered_._

Their many thoughts swarmed madly around me. All of them becoming loud, over bearing and run together_. _

_"SETTLE."_ I ordered. My mind becoming my own again as they silenced their thoughts and turned to me._ "What I heard tonight only confirms what we've suspected all along. Cullen is in on this. It's only a matter of time before he or Ryan try something else. It's not a matter of if anymore... it's a matter of when and when he does... We WILL BE READY. If he steps one foot on our land, I want him destroyed. THATS AN ORDER. I'll talk with Bella tomorrow about staying with me for now. With Edward in town, I want her within arms reach. Until I say otherwise, we continue to run double shifts. I know we're all beat, but we have to be ready."_

_"Got it bro!" _Paul replied with a nod.

_"Absolutely." _Seth piped up in agreement.

_"There's no way he'd be dumb enough to cross into La'push!" _Jarod scoffed.

_"If he does... You know the order." _I replied_._

_"This means no trip to Jacksonville for you and Bella I assume?" _Paul asked.

_"Not now. Not worth the risk. I'll fill her in when I see her. Paul, Quil, Seth, and Jarod, your patrol ends at dawn. Quil and Brady... Seth and Embry will take over from there. I'll check in. Alert me immediately if anything should arise... I mean anything."_

They all nodded and we broke apart as we dispersed through the woods.

I knew Bella would be disappointed to hear our trip was postponed - indefinitely - until otherwise, but her safety was my first concern and right now, I felt as though I could trust no one. I played out what Edward said in my mind as I ran. Once... Twice... Three times and again ... Eyes Everywhere? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Was he recruiting people now, besides Ryan? Like Victoria had with that Riley kid? No one that I knew of had come up missing lately, so I was fairly certain this wasn't the case. At least not from Forks or La'Push. The surrounding whereabouts however, I couldn't account for and that didn't settle well with me either. None of this did.

I ran to Sams, needing guidance and direction from someone I greatly respected. When I reached his back yard I was surprised to see him already outside, in an old pair of cut offs he used to wear all the time. I phased and pulled on my jeans, emerging from the trees.

_"_You're up late?" He said, as he turned toward me.

"Heard me?"

"Yep. I never lost that trait." He replied

"You haven't lost the others, either. They're just buried. Speaking of which... I haven't heard much from you since we last talked. Still thinking things over?"

"I think you're over estimating me..."

"I think you're underestimating yourself, Sam."

"Cullen's back isn't he?" Sam asked. His quick reply catching me off guard. "Quil beat you here. Can't say that I'm surprised, Jake. We all knew he'd show his sorry ass back in these parts eventually. He's got motive and intent. I'm sure of it."

"Well... Bella's not."

"She's being careless and that could cost her_."_

"I already told her as much. Now we're fighting_." _I said, shaking my head out of frustration_._

_"_He'll use that, too. You know that. She needs to see how very dangerous this is. He could be reporting back to the Italian clan every night for all we know. Quil told me you'd heard them talking?"

"I did. He's keeping Emerson as a mere pawn. He's really of no vital use to him."

"The very same way Victoria snatched up that innocent kid from town before the newborn battle."

"Exactly." I sighed.

Sam went silent, his look contemplative as he paced in front of me.

"They all could be involved..."

"I know." I replied.

"With Jane's power and Aro's authority, they could come here and wipe our land clean in order to get her. If Edwards plotting with them and with Alice possibly at his side, we'd need the help of the elders to stand a chance at beating them."

"I'm calling a meeting with them tomorrow night. I know we need them." I replied, my gaze meeting his as I finished... "All. Of. Them."

Sam's confident look faded as he turned from me.

"Sam-"

"I'm no where near ready for that. If anything, I'd be a hindrance to you. To the pack."

"No way. And you could be ready. I gave you my word I'd help you and I will."

He turned back to face me, his look weary and uncertain. "I've been coming out here the past few nights... trying to reconnect with that part of me. Feels like I haven't felt that in a lifetime."

"It's there. We just have to bring it out again. Have you talked it over with Emily?"

"She's supportive... nervous for me... but supportive nonetheless."

There was a long silence as I watched him struggle to come to a final decision. I wanted him with us, not just watching from the side lines for the rest of his life. There was no Sam the man, without finding Sam the wolf. They went hand in hand and one couldn't survive without the other. He had hardly been a shell of his former self these last few months. He didn't know where he belonged anymore.

"Okay." He sighed, his look still grave when his eyes met mine. "Gotta start somewhere, right?"

I nodded to him and was grateful that he trusted me enough to help him with this. "It'll take some time, but we'll get there."

"I believe you." He replied with half a smile.

"You should. I learned from the best."

"When do we start?"

_"_Tomorrow... bright and early."

"Okay... I'll let Emily know. I still want this between us. Pack doesn't need to know yet."

"That's fine. Besides when we're done, you won't have to tell them... you can just show them."

Sam chuckled as I turned and headed back for the woods.

"Jake... Don't let Edward come between the two of you."

"Don't worry. I have no intention of it. It's Bella I'm concerned about."

"She's not the same person she was. Even I can see that. Trust me... She'll see him for what he is, soon enough."

"Hope so." I replied, seeing him wave as he went back inside.

I phased and took off for home. The run back providing me some time to be alone with my thoughts. The last thing I wanted was for Edward to weasel his way between Bella and I. Not now... Not ever again. I'd lost her once and I'd be damned if I was gonna lose her again. Before, I'd only dreamed of what being with her was like... only hoped and imagined of it... Now that I'd tasted that luxury, had felt her in my arms, her body with mine and the completeness she provided when we were together... I was never letting her go.

I switched my path and headed for Forks, my need to be with her driving me to run with new speed as I crossed the town line. She had to know how fucking much I loved her and she had to hear what I'd learned about Edwards return. My sincere hope now was she would believe me.

I paced the border of her back yard, seeking out any new scent and finding none. He hadn't been here since the last time. I phased back and pulled on my jeans, seeing the lights were on in the house. It was early, barely dawn and still dark outside. I knocked anyway and Charlie answered. His look surprised when he saw me there.

"Jake?"

"Hey Charlie."

"Come in..." He sighed, ushering me through the door.

"I know it's early-"

"Got that right." He chuckled. "Want some coffee? Fresh pot over there."

"Sure. Sounds great."

"What the hell are you doing up before the sun and half dressed, I might add?"

I sighed as I glanced down, remembering I was still shirtless... shit.

"Well... I ugh... went for a jog..." I lied.

"A jog?" Charlie asked while handing me a cup of coffee_._

"Yea... you know... to clear my head."

I figured I was only half lying... After all, I had been out on a run... just not on two legs.

"You're here to see Bella." Charlie stated, his look growing concerned. "And normally she's up soon, but she may not be this morning. She was up pretty late after you left. I don't need to know what the two of you were arguing about, but Bella did mention it had to do with Edward showing up here."

I tightened my grip on the coffee cup as I thought of him in her house... Sneaky fuck that he was.

"She just let him in. Just like before." I sighed.

Charlie shook his head in disapproval. "She shouldn't have. She made a good choice when she left him there at the alter that day. She was to young... not ready and unsure of herself. She needed the space she took in Florida. It was good for her. She came back more clear in who she was and what she wanted.. who she wanted."

I glanced up to see Charlie crack half a smile. "I really hope so." I replied.

"To be honest with you Jake, I held out hope even on their wedding day that she'd come to her senses and call the whole damn thing off... I'm thankful she did.""

"Me too."

"Besides..." Charlie sighed... "Can't marry one when your heart belongs to another... You have it."

"I do love her... Very much."

"I know you do. Don't lose sleep over Edward showing back up and don't give him the satisfaction of putting a wedge between you two."

"I won't." I replied, getting up and shaking his hand. "Tell her I stopped by when she wakes up and that I'll be back later for dinner?"

"Will do, son. See you then."

I left for home and spent the remaining early hours of dawn in my garage. Taking out my many frustrations on my car and fixing whatever the hell I could get my greasy hands on. My thoughts were consumed with the Cullen's. How I longed to torch that house with Edward and Emerson in it, and give them the ending they so deserved... if only...

The longer I was out there... the more I thought about it. And the more I thought... the angrier I became.

I was unaware of Bella's sudden presence until I slammed the hood of my car down. She startled, her eyes wide as she took me in. In that moment, I wanted to forget what she'd said and take her in my arms. She slowly approached me, seeming to have the same thought.

I held my hands up and warned her how filthy I was, grabbing a spare rag to get clean... well try anyway.

"You've been out here since dawn?" She timidly asked, her eyes taking in the now wrecked condition of my garage.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Me either."

_"_Charlie told me you were up late when I stopped by earlier."

"I got your message."

"I would've come by for dinner. Like I said... Unless you have other plans?" I sneered. I was being a dick and I knew it.

"No..." She sighed. "Plans? What plans?"

"Didn't know if you'd be seeing Edward tonight for dinner?" I bitterly scoffed.

"I wouldn't do that-"

"Really?" I snapped harshly. " Seemed like you would of last night."

_"_Jacob!" She yelled.

"What!"

"You really think I'd have dinner with him?"

"Why not?" I asked in a sarcastic tone. "The idea's really not that far fucking fetched. Hell... why not call them all up and invite the whole damn parasitic clan? I'm sure if you bring enough AB positive, they'll show up faster than you can say Cullen!"

My words were loud and harsh with her as my anger started to get the better of me.

"You're angry..."

"You don't miss a thing do you?"

"Jake I-"

"No Bells... Not this time. I know all too well how this will go! We've done this song and dance before, remember? He shows up and puts all this bullshit back in your head, reminding you of what you had with him, or what kind of luxurious lifestyle he can still offer you and you fall for it, hook line and sinker. Once again, I'll end up being the fucking shmuck who gave his heart out too soon. Just like before... just like always. So go ahead and tell me what you came here to say. Come on Bells... No sense in dragging this out. Get it over with. Like I said before, better to get all the re - breaking done at once!"

"Stop it!" She yelled. The sound of her voice now strained with emotion. I raised my head and saw her eyes glisten with unshed tears. The sight of them like a punch to the gut for me.

"I know you're still angry with me, and you have every right to be. And maybe I should've come to you last night.. not waited or given you time to cool off. I just thought you wanted some space for the night... But then I got your message and I wanted - ... I needed to see you before you came over for dinner. I didn't wanna wait that long before talking to you." She took a few timid steps my way and I instinctively almost reached for her, before thinking better of it.

"I'm still covered in grease, Bells." I sighed in warning. "I'll get you dirty."

She apparently didn't care cause she was in my arms before I could say anything else. My angry resolve now fading.

"I am so sorry for what I said to you last night. I had no reason or right to defend Edward like that. I was wrong Jacob and I wish I could take back what I said, because it should've never left my mouth to begin with. You were right... I don't know him like I used to, and it would be naïve for me to think he was just the same. The truth is, I don't know if he's involved."

She took my hands in hers as she continued. "I'm ashamed of what I said... comparing you the way I did. I was wrong to ever do that. It was hurtful to you and I'm truly sorry."

"What did Edward say in your room last night?" I asked her in a low tone. Bella looked shocked and confused when she met my gaze. I leaned in even closer to her. "I always watch out for you... remember that. Even if we're fighting, Bells. Nothing will ever change that. I made a run by your house last night on patrol and picked up on his trail. I saw him leave out your window and followed him...".

"You followed him... where? Why?"

"To his old house." I replied, releasing her hands.

"Where Ryan was?"

I stopped and turned back to face her. "You mean where Ryan is."

Her expression when I said this told me she now understood.

"Edwards... really in on this?"

"He's working for them, Bella. I can't prove that to you right now, but I will soon enough. You're just gonna have to take my word for it."

"Ryan's been ... around me since I first started College. " She whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I know. They've known your every move from the moment you met him... maybe even before. Edwards baiting him with the promise of turning him for payment of his services. I have not a fucking clue why Ryan wants to become what they are, but he does and Edward's using that desire to his full advantage right now."

"What..." She breathed.

"It's true. I heard them discussing this myself last night when I followed him. I know you don't wanna believe this, but it's true." I paused and went to her, taking her face in my hands and looking into her eyes. "I need you to trust me... believe me when I tell you... Edward is not who he used to be. He's not the person you were with back then. I can't speak for the rest of them right now, but everything in me believes Edward is working for Aro. And I can't have you anywhere near him, Bella. He's not safe, honey. I love you with everything in me and I don't wanna fight with you, but I will if that's what it takes to get you to see how incredibly dangerous he is right now."

I needed her to believe me. More than anything she had to see what I was telling her now and stop giving them the benefit of the fucking doubt.

"I do believe you." She declared. Her arms wrapping around my neck. I sighed in relief and held her to me. My arms having already missed holding her just last night. One night and I already missed her. She soon released me and glanced up. Her look genuine when she spoke.

"He came in my room and asked if I wanted him to stay with me. Said he saw you leave angry and thet he wanted to check on me, make sure I was okay, but told him it wasn't his job to take care of me anymore... and that I loved you... whole heartedly. Jacob, I know I've ran in the past and foolishly taken him back when he left me before, but please believe me when I tell you that I'm not that person anymore. My heart is with you now... it always has been."

I tightened my hold on her as she leaned into me. I closed my eyes, resting my forehead with hers. "I hate fighting with you."

"Me too." She replied, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Are we on the same page with this now?"

"Absolutely."

"Good." I breathed. Her lips tantalizingly close to mine as I spoke. I couldn't resist the urge to kiss her... to feel her lips with mine. "I love you Bells..."

"I love you, too." She replied, pressing herself further into me. Her hands sliding up under my shirt and her touch frigid.

"Your hands are freezing, sweetheart. Come inside with me?" I asked, taking her hands in mine to warm them.

"You must be dead on your feet?"

"I'll be okay."

"No way. You have patrol later again and you need your strength. How about I make you lunch and then head home so you can rest?"

I pulled her against me. My mouth claiming her own.

"I don't like that idea."

"But-"

"To be honest, right now, I just wanna hold you... all afternoon... if you'll let me?" I sighed.

"Only if you promise to try and get some sleep before you head out again?"

"Some rest? Define some?" I chuckled, my hand roaming dangerously close to her ass. Sleep soon becoming the last thing on my mind.

"That's certainly not resting..."

"Depends on your definition of rest, honey."

"Jacob Ephraim..." She laughed, as I teasingly slapped her perfect ass.

"What can I say, Bells. You're beautiful... intoxicating... I can't help it."

"Well you're gonna have to try!" She laughed again, as I released her. She ran from me, only making it to the garage door before I caught her.

"Why do I have to try?" I breathed in her ear as I drew her body back against mine. I felt her still and listened to the sound of her erratic beating heart.

"Because... You need your rest..."

"Not as much as I need you." I admitted, her scent surrounding me.

"Really?"

"Always..."

"Well that's good to know cause I'm not going anywhere."

"Please don't." I breathed to her, thinking back to a time when she wasn't here with me. An empty time I never wanted to revisit.

My father was just leaving with his friend as we reached the house. "Headed out?" I yelled his way.

"Be back in time for dinner." Billy replied. "See you two later."

Bella waved to him as they drove out of sight. "So what are you hungry for." She asked once in the kitchen.

My eyes traveled down her perfect body once before I replied. "You."

"I meant to eat."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I said you, didn't I?"

Bella shut the fridge door and turned around. Her look stopping my laughter as her gaze met mine.

"Me?" She asked in an mocked innocent tone, her hands starting to undo the many buttons of her blouse. "Are you actually telling me you're choosing me over a meal?"

I couldn't take my eyes from her, as she let the blouse soon fall to the floor. She swiftly unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down over her perfect hips, and her gorgeous legs, stepping out of them and leaving her nearly bare to me. I drank her in and felt myself grow hard at just the sight of her. She was breathtaking. Her eyes stayed set on mine as she took off her bra, her beautiful breasts now free for me to behold. She stalked toward me, her look lustful as she licked her lips once. I was entranced and captivated by her every damn move. She stopped in front of me, her look alone enough to be my undoing.

"Take me... I'm yours." She whispered, her hands coming to the top of my jeans and quickly undoing them. She slid them down and I removed them for her, tossing them to the side before scooping her up without a second thought. She wrapped her legs securely around my waist and I headed to my room, placing her there on my bed. I kissed her once, my tongue tasting hers only briefly before eagerly seeking out the rest of her body. I worked my way down and slipped her black lace panties off, my tongue soon exploring her sweet flesh and making her moan for me. Hearing the sounds she made was like a drug ... Always craving more... to get wrapped up in her, feel her bare body with mine, to taste her skin... it was intoxicating, all consuming, and the best natural high I'd ever known. My tongue swirled and her back arched up. "Jacob..." I continued until she was panting, and heard her moans grow louder as I slid two fingers inside her. She wreathed against them as my tongue worked her sensitive flesh. I felt her soon contract around my fingers and she moaned my name, her hips thrusting upward as she came, my fingers caressing her insides with her release.

I kissed my way back up her body and felt her tug on my boxers as her mouth reclaimed mine. I pried myself away from her, standing up to take them off. Bella scooted herself to the end of the bed, her hand reaching, and stroking the length of me. I moaned aloud and closed my eyes at the feel of her hand wrapped around me.

"You're perfect." She whispered. My eyes opening to see her now on her knees in front of me, taking me in her mouth. I groaned at the sensation, as I felt her swirl her tongue around the tip.

"Fuck..." I breathed. She was relentless and driving me mad with that mouth. I was on the brink and slipping fast as she stopped and glanced up at me. I reached for her hands, taking them in mine and hauling her to her feet. She kissed me slowly on the lips and climbed back on the bed. Her eyes locked on mine when she spoke. "I love you."

"I love you too, honey." I replied, watching her get on all fours and crawl seductively to the head of the bed. I moved onto the bed behind her just as she peered over her shoulder.

I was drawn in by the sight of her. The alluring way she was positioned. Almost like she was offering herself up to me... presenting.

I reached around her, cupping her breasts and feeling her nipples harden at my touch. Letting my thumbs slide over them. She moaned and pressed herself into me, my hands moving down her abdomen and hips. I removed one hand, placing the tip of me at her entrance, rubbing against her in a teasing manor.

"Jacob... Please..." She groaned. The sound of her plea causing me to slide into her in one swift movement. I had never had the pleasure of taking her, or any woman for that matter, from behind before. The feeling was empowering and I got lost in it. She gasped as I thrusted into her again. My rhythm slow at first. I moved my hands to grip her hips and started to really move, feeling her so tightly wrapped around me and hearing her cry out my name. Over and Over. The very sound of it enough to get me off.

"Bella..." I whispered, keeping my pace. She brought her hands up to grip the head board for support.

"Harder... Please Jacob... Harder..." She moaned. Her hair spilling down around her shoulders. I picked up my pace and reached around, my fingers rubbing her sweet spot. She cried out again and I lost all sense of surrounding. Nothing else existed but her with me right now. I felt my own release inch ever closer as we moved together. Her sounds of ecstasy were something I could never get enough of.

"Oh Jake!"

I felt her insides constrict hard around me, and I gripped her hips, thrusting into her with new force. Her body calling to me and my own responding without conscious thought.

She held on to the headboard tightly as my release consumed me. My thrusts powerful and unrelenting. I was breathless. Sweat dripped off my chest onto her back as I slowed my movement and soon stilled. I wrapped an arm under her, slowly withdrawing myself from her. She released the head board and collapsed back into me. Her breathing still labored like my own. I drew her chin up, kissing her as she rested her head on my shoulder, my arms securely around her midsection.

"That was... Amazing." She sighed.

"You're amazing..." I replied, leaning us back against the support of the headboard. "And that was a first.."

She peered up at me with a small smirk and kissed me on the cheek. "I love the way we are together, Jacob."

I trailed my hand up and gently cupped her breast. "Me too, honey."

My eyes grew heavy as we sat there together. I scooted us both down into the sheets and felt Bella's legs tangle with mine, her face pressed into the groove of my neck and her heart beat the sound I fell asleep to.


	26. Chapter 27

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay in posting this next chapter! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me to this point! You guys are great! On with the story :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY - SEVEN  
**

**(BPOV)**

I awoke cocooned in the warmth of Jacobs arms. Our legs tangled together and his face mere inches from mine. The sight of him still took my breath away and it was the seemingly small moments like this when I silently thanked the heavens above that he was mine. I glanced around, seeing his lamp still emulate the dark enclosure of his room. I had no idea what time it was, but I could only hope that it wasn't too close to dawn. I wanted more time with him... always more...

My mind soon wandered to the passion we'd shared last night and I couldn't help but smile as I studied his handsome face, my eyes straying to his full lips and lingering there for a moment. What I wouldn't give to stay here in bed with him all day. To selfishly let the rest of the world worry about itself just for twenty - four uninterrupted hours, and keep him here with me. I felt him stir and I nestled in even closer to him, closing my eyes and wishing the day away already. I knew he had obligations and I knew how important they were, but that didn't stop me from wishing to steal him away.

I only drifted off for a brief time before I was awakened with a kiss. My eyes slowly drifted open to meet his, seeing his grin wide and equally infectious.

"What time is it?" I asked in a whisper, already dreading the answer.

"Almost dawn..."

"Will you be back later? Maybe in time for dinner?"

"I'll do my best." Jake replied with a wink.

"Be safe."

"Always." He whispered, his hand trailing down my outer thigh.

"Can I stay here today?" I asked.

"Of course you can. Billy loves your company and to be truthful I'd like you to stay here... on the res for now?"

His expression was sincere and hopeful and I would be lying If I didn't admit the idea had a wide grin forming on my face.

"You mean... here with you? For protection?"

He nodded, slowly hitching my leg over his hip, as he leaned in and brushed his lips to mine. My breath caught when I felt his hard member press against me. "... Among other reasons... but yes your safety being the most important. Besides... would living with me for a while really be so bad?" He breathed in question.

"No... In fact... I think it's a great idea. I like falling asleep with you... and waking up to you." I replied.

"I honestly expected some kind of protest from you?" He chuckled, his smile reaching his eyes.

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you... But you'll get no argument from me. I know you just want me safe."

"Always..." He replied, his lips claiming mine and his hand coming to knead my breast. I gasped at the feel of his thumb grazing my pert nipple. My tongue met his and I was quickly consumed in him. His kiss intoxicating and his touch leaving me nothing more than putty in his warm hands.

His lips left mine and trailed down my body. Stopping only to swirl his tongue around my nipple. I closed my eyes and my heart began to race as his fingertips caressed my sensitive flesh. His touch making me moan and ache for him.

The sudden slamming of the front door, brought my sounds of ecstasy to an immediate halt. I glanced down to meet Jake's gaze, seeing a playful grin still on his lips, despite my horrified stare.

"Your Father's home!" I harshly whispered.

Jacob brought his lips back to mine, silencing me with a quick kiss.

"We're just gonna have to be quiet... or try at least." He whispered, a small glint of amusement crossing his face.

I stifled a giggle and kissed him, accepting his challenge, knowing full well it would be more of a challenge for me than himself.

His kiss soon turned hungry and I had to remind myself to be quiet when I felt him slowly enter me. The fullness causing me to bite back a groan. His hold on me tightened and his slow rhythm continued. I tried to focus on keeping my sounds of pleasure hushed, but my effort began to slip when he increased his pace. His eyes meeting mine and locking there. Love and devotion filled them for me and I was captured in the moment with him. My self control of silence was beginning to crumble just as his lips sought mine. The gesture effectively silencing any cry from me. I felt my insides begin to quicken as his fingers circled my sensitive nub. I wanted nothing more than to call out his name as my climax neared, but I bit my tongue and nestled my face into his shoulder. Trying to muffle any sound that may leave me.

"I love you honey." I heard him whisper as my orgasm gripped me. My body humming with pleasure and his pace becoming faster. A single cry left me and I was powerless to stop it. I felt him pour himself within me with a final thrust as my back arched and my lips met his. My heart was hammering along with his own when his eyes met mine again.

"I love you too." I sighed, still breathless.

He lovingly kissed my forehead and we both stilled when we heard someone else enter the house. The sound of my fathers voice drifted down the hall and it was as if someone had just poured ice water on us both. Jacob gently withdrew himself from me and got to his feet, handing me my clothes and quickly searching his drawers for his own. I dressed as fast as I could and raked my fingers through my now tangled bed head... or should I say sex hair...

"Why is Charlie here so early?" I whispered as Jake finished dressing.

"I don't know."

"Should we go out there?" I asked.

"No... Your dad will think it's odd were both awake. Better to pretend to still be sleeping."

"But you have patrol..."

"I'll sneak out." He replied taking my face in his hands and kissing me so passionately I swore my feet left the ground. "I'll be back later."

I nodded and felt the chill of the morning air seep through my clothes when he released me. I watched him slip out through his window and quietly closed it behind him before climbing back into his warm bed. The smell of him prominently there as I wrapped myself up in his blankets. I figured if I couldn't have him physically here with me right now, this was the next best thing.

I tried to hear what the conversation was between my father and Billy but failed to make out the words. My stupid normal hearing not nearly as good as Jacobs. I must have dozed off because before I knew it, it was light out and the sun was shining brightly through Jake's window.

I peeked my head out to hear silence through the house, before venturing to the kitchen. Billy had left a note saying he had caught a ride into town with my father and they'd be back in time for dinner. My eyes wandered to the stove clock and was stunned to see that I'd literally slept half the day away. It was well past noon already.

By the time I showered and cleaned up Jake's room, it was nearly two in the afternoon. I had just finished making his bed when a knock on their door startled me. I was thrilled to see Emily there with a smile and a basket full of home made muffins.

"You're a sight for sore eyes!" I chuckled, gesturing for her to come in.

"Same to you stranger!" She laughed.

"What brings you by? Billy and Jake aren't home."

"I know. Jake mentioned you'd be here today... well not directly to me but I overheard him tell Sam this morning. So I figured a visit was a must!"

"I'm glad you're here. You look-"

"Like I'm carrying a small pack of wolves." She finished for me, her free hand coming to rest on her growing belly.

"No... I was gonna say great... healthy..." I smiled.

"Well thank you. You're very gracious, Bella."

"How do you feel?"

"If I'm being honest, pretty damn uncomfortable lately. Sleeping is a whole new challenge for me now."

I took the basket of muffins with an understanding nod. "I'm sorry... But I see baking is still easy for you?"

"Yes and that probably won't change anytime soon." She giggled. "Are you busy this afternoon? I wanted to steal you for a bit? Head to town to take a look at some cribs..."

"No I'm not busy. I'd love to go."

"Really? It wouldn't be a bother?"

"No way. It'll be fun."

"Thanks." She smiled to me as I grabbed my coat.

The drive back to town was filled with Emily's enthused chatter all about the color scheme she wanted to do for their nursery and how she had chosen baby blue paint for the walls. A job that still needed to be done. I could tell just by listening to her that she was excited but also overwhelmed.

"You know... I could help you paint the nursery tomorrow... if that's a good time for you?"

Emily glanced my way, a look of genuine thankfulness on her pretty face. "But Bella, I couldn't ask you to do that. It would take a whole day and-"

"You didn't ask me Em, I offered. Besides, I used to paint a little with my mom in Florida a few years back when they were working on their guest room renovation. It was fun and I didn't screw it up." I laughed.

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Positive. I'll start in the morning?"

"Okay. I really appreciate it. Maybe I can tackle putting the crib together... If we find one today? We'll see... Sam may be better at that."

We spent the entire afternoon at the small baby boutique in town. It was filled with anything and everything you could imagine for any childhood need. From blankets to strollers, cribs, clothes and more. I picked through dozens of baby boy outfits and animal themed bouncers. Emily was thrilled to be there. The evident joy lit up her whole face whenever she smiled and it warmed my heart to see.

"Bella! Look at these booties!" Emily crooned over the delicate hand knitted blue baby booties, as she handed them to me. They were adorable and so tiny. I held them in my hands and smiled, thinking of what great parents they were gonna be.

"You know..." Emily soon whispered over my shoulder. "You and Jake may end up coming here when you have your kids."

Her blunt statement had my mind momentarily shutting down. Kids? Right now?

"Someday..." I quietly replied, placing the booties in her well rounded cart of goodies.

"You do want kids though right?" She asked, seeing my blank and paled expression now.

"Yea... I mean... " I sighed, taking in all the items around us. "Just not right now..."

"But someday, yes?"

I nodded, suddenly feeling a lump in my throat as I pondered the main reason why children may never be in the cards for Jake and I ... The Volturi and the promise I'd broken to become one of them. The truth was, I would give anything to be able to secure a solid future like that with Jacob. With no threat of the Volturi... Aro... Any of them. But that wasn't something I could secure right now and the knowledge of that had me teary eyed.

I felt Emily's hand touch my arm and bring me back to the present. "Bella? Are you alright?"

I glanced up to see her worried expression and quickly pulled myself together. After all, this shopping trip was about her and I wanted her to enjoy every minute of it.

"I'm fine. Just allergies..." I lied.

Emily shook her head like she knew better and leaned in close so no one could hear us. "Jacob will protect you with everything he has. You know that. The Volturi may be powerful but so is an Alpha's divine strength and protection over his imprint... his children... There is nothing like it. The Volturi have met their match. Take some comfort in that?"

I saw the sincerity in her expression and couldn't help but hug her for her kind words. They were what I needed to hear most right now. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now lets look for some baby hats and mittens. He'll be needing them! Winter is just around the corner."

"When exactly is your due date?" I asked, strolling through the next aisle.

"December 18th." She beamed.

"A week before Christmas?" I gasped with a grin.

She nodded and began picking out half a dozen hats to choose from. "The best gift I've ever received on Christmas."

I smiled and we soon made our way to the check out at the front of the store. By the end of it all, she had spent over three- hundred dollars and that didn't include the crib. She spotted that on the way out and fell in love with it. The crib had a cherry wood stain finish and I had to admit it was beautiful.

"Maybe next time..." She sighed and headed for the car.

I lagged behind and grabbed a store clerk who assisted me with payment for the crib and offered to load it in Sam's truck for us, as I rushed out to help Emily unload the remainder of her many bags.

"Where did you go?" She asked.

"I bought you something." I grinned.

Emily paused and glanced my way. Her eyes growing wide with recognition when she saw the store clerk wheeling over a large box.

"Bella!" She gasped, her hand coming up to cup her mouth. "You... You didn't..."

"Consider it an early baby shower gift? From Jake and I..."

Her eyes grew misty and she hugged me tight while the man loaded the crib in the back of the truck for her.

"Thank you so much." She whispered, her tone shaky with emotion.

"You're like Family to me... You and Sam both are... It's the least I could do after all you've done for me before."

She released me and her tears spilled over. "I consider you family, too. This means more than you know."

We chatted about the nursery plans as we left the parking lot and it dawned on me then that I needed to stop by my house to pack a bag of clothes to have at Jake's since I was now staying with him.

"Can we swing by my house? I need to pack some clothes..."

"Oh that's right, you're staying with Jake on the Reservation for a while?"

"Yea... Just for safety."

"I'll bring you over and then we'll head back."

"Thanks."

As Emily made her way through town, my thoughts wandered back to the store. Thoughts of marrying Jacob invaded my mind and I soon felt a widening smile touch my lips. I could only imagine his beaming grin if I ever was fortunate enough to have his children... The look of joy on his face when I told him we were expecting. He would be the best father and husband. Of this I was completely certain.

"Okay... want me to come in and help?" Emily offered when we pulled up to my house.

"No no... I won't be too long."

I searched for the spare house key, fumbling a bit to see in the dark, but still managing to find it and unlock my door. I switched on the lights and headed for my room, retrieving my bag from the closet and packing quickly. I didn't want to keep Emily waiting too long. I grabbed extra jeans and my toothbrush, face wash, deodorant, all the essentials and threw them in amongst my clothes. I hurriedly gathered my bag and started for the stairs when suddenly firm hands gripped me from behind. My breath caught and I froze. The feel of these hands unpleasantly familiar. Their grip unyeilding and now terrifying.

I thought of Emily out in the truck and my fear increased for her tenfold. She was here with me alone...

I was suddenly spun around harshly. The jolt of movement making my head spin. The hand now abruptly leaving my mouth.

"Don't make a sound." Edward hissed. His look cold and unfixed as he leaned in and inhaled. "I can smell him on you. It's revolting."

I stared up at him, a sense of boldness coming over me I was unsure of but embraced anyway. "Good." I snapped. My tone acidic when I spoke.

"He's changed you..." Edward sighed, a look of real agitation on his face now.

"For the better." I countered, my strong act fading as I thought again of Emily.

"We have business to adhere to. Come..." He sighed, holding out his hand. I shied away from the gesture and moved back from him.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. Not a chance in hell."

"Who says I'm giving you a choice here?" He seethed, his cool breath brushing my face when he spoke. "I know you're not alone. We don't want dear Emily getting caught in the crossfires of our business now do we?"

"Sam would end you and you know that."

He threw his head back as robust and mocking laughter came from him. The eery sound sending chills up my spine. "Need I remind you that Sam is no longer Alpha or even a wolf for that matter."

"They'd all hunt you down. I know you can't be daft enough to deny that fact."

"Taking a trip?" He asked, suspiciously eyeing the bag I still tightly clutched in my hand.

"Why ask me when you already know?"

"Maybe I'm just curious if you'll tell me? I find it rather humorous to be honest with you, Bella... Seeing you with him now. Not to be coy, but it must be his lack or moral code that has you crawling back day after day... night after night? I'm sure he puts up no protest in fulfilling your every carnal desire? Unlike me who tried to spare you... tried to do the noble and decent thing. But still, you left me and for what really? Or should I say who? Someone who can never offer you the finer and exquisite things life has to offer. No... sadly you traded all that in for the small town boy next door. Tragic really."

"Noble! You? I find that almost laughable coming from someone whose now stooped so low he's working for the very clan he once hated. Walking side by side with the same clan whose seeking to end my life. All because of you."

His eyes grew angry. "You. Made. A.-"

"Mistake..." I cut in sharply. "And one I'll live to regret for the rest of my life. You see... You have some twisted and unhinged plan to seek revenge on me for leaving you at the wedding that day, but you're somehow forgetting who you betray most by doing this... yourself. So you can say whatever ignorant remark you want to about Jacob. I know who he is. What kind of man he is and I can no longer say that about you. I guess the joke really is on me and Jake was right all along about you... You really are a soulless monster. Or you've become one... whichever shoe you think best fits."

His look was fuming and detached still, but he offered no reply for many seconds as we stood there. My blood boiling and my adrenaline pumping, as I stared back at the man I once loved irrevocably... at the very same man I was willing to trade life and my very human existence for.

"Perhaps you're correct, Bella. Perhaps... Still doesn't change the facts. And the fact is we have business waiting and you simply won't be back in time for dinner tonight. Aro isn't a patient man."

My heart nearly stopped at his words. "It's really true then... you're working with him. How could you-"

"What? Betray you? How does it feel to believe in something that has all turned out to be a lie?"

"You're Malicious and cruel and not the person I fell in love with. Where the hell is that person?"

"Dead... You killed him when you left. I suppose I owe you a thank you for this. It really is easier to go with my natural killing instinct than to constantly fight it all the time. So... Thank you."

The front door opened down stairs and Emily's voice rang clear. "Bella? What's taking you so long? Do you need some help?"

I opened my mouth to answer but was silenced by Edwards look. His hiss in warning enough to stop me. "I'll kill her. I'll do it. And we both know what that means for Sam. For the baby. Get rid of her... now."

I swallowed hard and forced myself to move down the stairs, taking them one at a time and feeling his gaze upon me with each step I took.

"There you are. I should've helped-" Emily's grin faded when she saw the look I wore. She rushed over to me, taking my face in her hands in a motherly fashion. "Bella! You look Awful... are you sick? Do you feel alright? I should call Jacob if you're ill."

I shook my head and thought of something quick as she retrieved her cell phone from her back pocket. My heart was pounding painfully against my chest as she dialed. I grabbed the phone from her and closed it before she could finish. She glanced up at me with confusion and I fiercely hugged her, hoping beyond all hope that she would read my expression well enough to somehow put the pieces together.

"Bella..."

"I'll be okay. I think it was... something I ate earlier... I'm gonna lye down here for a while and I'll call you later. I promise." I replied when I released her.

Emily's eyes narrowed In suspicion. "But we haven't eaten anything all afternoon? Maybe that's why... I can make you something-"

"No No... I'll be okay, really. You head home and I'll check in with you later."

Her look was weary and unsettling when she left but I was so eager to get her far away from him, that I encouraged her out the door anyway.

I turned back inside and slowly closed the door behind me as Edwards voice cut through the short lived silence. "Very good."

I couldn't speak as he paced in front of me, seeming to be deep in thought. My mind ran wild with Jacob, desperately searching within myself for a way to buy more time.

"I must say you did rather well to get rid of her in such a timely manor. Well done. Now... onto more pressing matters. We need to leave your father a note. Something that you yourself would deem believable for him to find."

I didn't reply as he wandered around my kitchen in search for a pen and paper. My eyes strayed to the front door and I momentarily debated on making a run for it. I knew I wouldn't get far, but standing here and following his every demand like some damn puppet or pawn in his twisted game wasn't working for me, either. The young and naïve girl I was before when I almost married him would have simply done just that without question. She would have followed his every order and done exactly what she was told, but the woman I was today wasn't going down without a fight. I owed it to my father, to Jacob, and more importantly, to myself to at least try before he dragged me off to Italy. I took a steadying breath and began with my questions. Each one pointed and well thought out in order to give me the answers I needed.

"When does Aro expect you to arrive there with me?"

Edward whirled around, his look amused when he handed me the pad of paper and pen. "Write. They'll be plenty of time for chat later."

I snatched them from him with disgust. "You could at least tell me when we leave."

"Why? Eager to become what I am once again?"

I swallowed hard and decided to take the bait and play along, all the while hoping for a miracle that someone other than my unsuspecting Father would come through my front door soon. I glanced at the stove clock and counted the minutes since Emily had left. She would have reached the Reservation by now and if I knew her, she would be paying Jake a visit.

"Maybe..."

Edward slammed his hand down on the pad of paper, stopping me from writing. "Don't play games, Bella."

"Who says I'm playing games?"

"I do. Now write."

"What is it exactly that I'm supposed to say? He will see right through this!"

"Then make it believable."

"He'll know."

"You're not even trying." Edward snapped.

"And you're not accounting for when Jacob see's this. Whatever half assed somewhat believable truth I write for Charlie, won't work for Jacob. He'll smell the lie a mile away!"

"Yes... Because he knows you so well!" Edward scoffed sarcastically in reply.

"He does."

"You place a lot of weight on that fact don't you?"

"You'd be incredibly stupid not to." I countered, meeting his angry glare with one of my own.

"I could just skip all these unpleasant formalities and change you right here myself!" He hissed. The sound menacing.

"And kill me?" I snapped, getting to my feet and stepping toward him.

Edwards look went haunted and for a moment, and for that fleeting moment, I was reminded of the person he used to be.

He abruptly turned away from me and I took my open window of opportunity to push the limit with him.

"You would... you know that... That's why you won't change me yourself... Cause you wouldn't be able to stop and Aro needs me alive, right? My blood still appeals to you too much. Like your own personal brand of heroine..."

He didn't answer, but his silence told me all I needed to know.

"Or is it you who needs me alive. So you won't be in a world where I don't exist?"

"Stop it." He hissed over his shoulder, though I didn't heed his warning.

"Which is it!" I yelled.

"Enough!" He yelled back, placing himself inches from me.

"There was a time when you would have risked it all to save me from the very same person your handing me over to now! I don't even know who the hell you are anymore. Was all of what we shared a lie to you? Did it ever mean anything?"

"How can you ask me that, Bella?" He replied, his tone softer now than I expected. "You were my reason for existing and you left me, remember?"

"I made a choice that was right for me. I never meant to hurt you. Would you really have wanted me to go through the motions of marrying you even though my heart was telling me something else? What kind of forever existence would that have been for either of us?"

He didn't reply, he simply placed the note pad and pen in front of me again.

I shook my head in protest, knowing I was pushing the limit, but still choosing to be defiant anyway. I wouldn't go with him willingly.

"You're making this harder than it needs to be." He sighed, his look weary all of a sudden.

"I won't do this. You can't hate me so much that you'd cause me physical harm. Despite your anger over what I did, I don't believe that kind of evil resides in you, Edward."

"You underestimate me."

"Maybe so." I replied, glancing toward the front door again, Edward took note of this.

"I know he'll come for you. I've planned for it."

His tone had my insides crawling. "Planned?"

"Of course. How foolish do you take me for? Do you think I don't know his love for you?"

I tried to keep my voice from shaking at the thought of him trapping Jacob, harming him... or worse.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing... Yet. That all depends on you, Bella. Come with me now, and Jacob will be unharmed and none the worse for wear. However, if you continue to protest like this..."

"No... Leave him alone." I replied, my resolve slipping.

"Not to worry, my plan for him is indirect."

"What the hell does that mean?" I snapped in reply.

"It means there are other ways to bring him harm without the need for physical injury. If memory serves me correctly, Jacob and his father were very close?"

I thought of Billy and what it would do to Jacob if something happened to him, my mind flooded with the dozens of heartbreaking scenarios, making my head spin. I reached for the pen and began to write. I was only two lines into the note when I heard Edward snarl.

"You've got to be kidding me."

I stopped and glanced up to see his gaze fixed on the door. My heart began to race as it opened and my eyes fell on my last possible ray of hope. Though her stature was small, her strength was still deadly.

Alice Cullen stood in my doorway. Her look to Edward angry and dare I say lethal as she crossed the room in a flash to him. Her movements so swift, my eyes could hardly follow.

"Where have you been, dear brother? I see up to no good."

"This is none of your concern, Alice." Edward hissed.

"You know I've been trying to pinpoint your location for weeks. I must say, using the wolves to cloud my vision was clever, but not enough to keep me from trying. I knew you'd return here."

"Your timing is impeccable."

"Well, I can't take all the credit for that. You see, It was your dear friend Ryan who ushered me here. It only took a bit of persuasion for him to crack and tell me. Try not to be too angry with him, he is only a boy after all and I can be very persuasive."

"You came alone?" Edward asked.

"The others will arrive here shortly. Carlisle and Esme are less than thrilled with your plan."

She whirled to face me then. Her smile as inviting as I remembered it to be. "It's good to see you again, Bella. We've missed you." She sighed and embraced me. I returned the hug and was struck by just how much I'd missed her myself.

"I'm sorry for any trouble my brother has caused you." She offered upon releasing me.

My reply was cut off by the sound of Edwards hiss. "The trouble I've caused her. How soon we forget the trouble she caused me."

Alice spun and was in his face before I could blink. "She made her choice and you have to respect that. You've done enough. She no longer wants this life and that's her right to make such a decision ... not yours. Have you no respect at all now? Has Aro ripped that from you, too?"

"You dare question my respect? You're betraying your own family." Edward seethed.

"Bella is family to me, still and while you are my brother, this had to be stopped. She loves Jacob. You know this and you know what will surely ensue if you take her to Aro. There would be an all out war between us and the wolves. Something Carlisle fears you've already begun."

"So be it."

Your ignorance is astounding." Alice sighed, her look grave now. "You don't know the kind of chaos it will bring forth. Lives will be lost. We would not be able to take them on ourselves. We would need the help of others. Don't you see what you've started? Jacob will come for her. You naively underestimate him. He is not the young boy from years ago. He's their leader now. The consequences of your choices here will be grave and far worse than you anticipate. They will fight to the death for her. Who have you become Edward? To be so full of malice and ill will? Have you no decency left? Where is the brother I once knew?"

"Things change."

Alice looked as if she would have cried if she actually could.

"Clearly..." She whispered and turned away from him "I will not allow you to take her. You will have to end me first and I ask you ... Are you really so cruel to kill your own sister?"

Edwards face was unreadable as he stared at the two of us. His very expression seeming to switch from angry to contemplative several times before speaking.

"You're leaving me no choice Alice. It is you who has put me in this position."

"No... your hatred has brought you here. Choose differently... your choices are still your own."

"You're wrong!" He yelled, causing me to startle. Alice took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze as he continued on his tyraid.

"My choices stopped being my own when she left me at the alter like a fool! My mind hasn't been at rest since. So you'll have to forgive me if I don't idly sit back and watch her get the happy ever after she wants with her mutt."

"I know what you're really trying to do... You think by taking her to Aro she'll be forced to love you again when he changes her and the two of you join him."

Edwards silence gave me his answer and I inwardly cringed at the thought of being forced into that life... forced to be separated from Jacob forever. I blinked back the tears that now clouded my vision. My eyes fixed on Edward.

"She won't fall back in love with you... You'll be killing her... You'll have a corpse of who she is with you. The Bella you've known will no longer exist. The spirit about her that you love so dearly will be wiped away. Jacob is tied to that spirit now. He's part of her... part of her soul... part of who she is... Taking her away from him... you'll be killing them both. Can you live with knowing for all eternity that her very soul cries for another?"

"Shut up Alice!"

"You cant be so inhumane!" She yelled back, releasing my hand and going to him. "Let her go. Let her be with Jacob and have the human life we all wished for. Let her grow old with him. Please stop this and come back to Denali with us... your family misses you. Aro isn't family... He's not what's best for you... we are."

A long silence fell over the house and I counted the beats of my own heart while waiting for Edward to speak. My hope hanging on by a mere thread, as a silent plea played over and over in my mind.

Please let me live the human life with Jacob I once so thoughtlessly offered up in return for immortality. Please let me feel his arms around me one more time... hear his laughter once again... see his brown eyes meet my own... Please... don't take him away from me ... I want the honor of being his wife. To experience the divine privilege of carrying his children... The Blessing of growing old together.

Please...


	27. Chapter 28

**A/n: Hi Everyone! Another update :) With the Holiday weekend here, it is sure to be busy around my house but I will try to post another chapter before Monday! As always, happy reading and thank you so much to all who have supported and followed this story! On with the Chapter...**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

**BPOV(Continued)**

I've heard it said that happily ever after can truly exist, but only to those who believe. I've heard it said that soul mates are not just for fairy tales and make believe, but that in this world, each person was meant for someone else. My mother, Renee, being the hopeless romantic that she was, would always tell me that the true definition of a soul mate was a single soul dwelling in two bodies. That without the other, you yourself were not whole.

When I landed on her doorstep a few years ago to escape my own wedding, so confused and unsure about where my life was going, she asked me the simplest of questions... "Bella, can you see a future without Jacob? Is he what your heart really wants?"

I answered her truthfully and for the first time, chose to be honest with myself... "He is."

My mother simply smiled at me and said ... "That's what I thought..."

Many times she would tell me that the kind of connection Jacob and I shared should never be dismissed or underestimated. It was times like this that I would remember her words and they would give me strength.

"I can't believe you're choosing disloyalty to your own family to help her when she betrayed me!" Edward hissed.

"Her choosing was not one of betrayal. She followed her heart, Edward. Part of you always knew that she loved Jacob. You knew they shared something you couldn't understand."

"I'm taking her to Aro." He snapped, darting out around her in a flash and grabbing hold of me. I screamed in protest, fighting uselessly against his iron like grip.

Alice's movements were just as swift. She grabbed him by the throat and pushed him backwards. Their hisses loud and lethal as I made my only move for escape and bolted out the front door. My whole body surging with adrenaline as I ran for the woods. The dark of the night worked against me. I tripped twice and stumbled my way through the forest until the sound of a howl pierced its way through the air around me. I stopped where I was and huddled myself in behind the nearest tree. I listened to the many howls that soon followed and held my breath as they drew closer...

Jacob was coming for me... They all were... I just had to stay hidden the best I could ... just a bit longer.

I heard a sound from behind me and my blood ran cold as my eyes searched aimlessly through the pitch black of the night. Strong arms then wrapped themselves around me and I immediately struggled against them, determined not to go down without a fight. I opened my mouth to scream when a hand silenced the sound and a warm cheek soon pressed against mine.

"Shhh... Bells... it's me honey. I have you."

I stilled and felt the immense relief wash over me as his hand left my mouth. "Jacob..."

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" He asked.

"No... Alice is here."

"I know. I picked up on her scent when we got close. The pack is right behind me."

There was a loud crash that came from the direction of my house and I felt Jacobs hold on me tighten. My surging adrenaline was beginning to fade, leaving me shaken and rattled. I heard the pack approach, their eyes darting in every which direction when they stopped around us.

Loud hissing drew closer and several angry growls ripped their way from the pack in response. I felt Jacob turn me to him. His embrace comforting and temporarily erasing the fear that had my skin crawling. Fear of the unknown being the worst. Was Aro coming now? Were they all coming for me?

"I need to phase back. Don't worry... Paul and Embry are staying here with you."

I hugged him tighter and heard the shrill sound of Edwards voice cut through the forest.

"Come on Bella! Is this what it's come to? A little game of cat and mouse? Need I remind you how clumsy you are? Let alone in the dark... the odds really aren't in your favor."

I felt the rumble of a menacing growl rip through Jacob. His tremors beginning to consume him as he released me. My eyes were now adjusted enough to make out the shadows of them all in the dark. I felt something brush up against me and glanced over, still struggling to distinguish anything in the night.

"Paul?" I whispered, unsure of my guess.

A loud huff and another nudge from him seemed to be my answer. I could barely make out a second large shadowed figure right beside him and knew it must be Embry. I heard the rest of them slowly emerge from the woods and huddled myself in closer to Paul. Edwards taunting getting eerily close.

"Come out, Come out wherever you are... Can't stay out here in the cold dark of night for too long. Lets stop all the nonsense-"

"Edward Stop!" A voice I hadn't heard before echoed off the trees around us. Carlisle...

"What is this some kind of family intervention?" Edward mocked, his tone daunting.

"If that's how you choose to see it." A second voice replied. Esme...

"You're coming back to Denali with us. Leave Isabella be. She has made her choice." Carlisle added. His voice sounding as sincere as I remembered it to be.

"Please stop this Edward. Can't you see the harm you're causing?" Esme pointed out. Her plea heartfelt and true.

"This in an outrage. All of you are choosing to honor the one who betrayed me instead of your own family." Edward Hissed.

"You have given me no choice but to intervene Edward. I cannot allow you to do this." Carlisle insisted.

"That's unfortunate Carlisle... Very unfortunate because in return you've now left me with no choice but to fight you. I'm taking her with me. Aro trusts I can collect his debt and I intend to do just that."

"How little you must think of yourself now to be used as a mere pawn in Aro's game?" Alice chimed in. "What a fool he's taken you for."

"So this is how it's going to be? The three of you... my own family... against me? So be it... I'll take you all on."

I could hear their hisses, loud and menacing, fill the night air. I moved myself out around Paul, taking a few cautionary steps forward in order to make out the shadows of them. Paul moved with me and Embry lurked just behind him. I could barely make out their shadows as they fought. Each movement blurred and undefined. I saw the pack surround them and Carlisle stilled his movements.

"We mean no harm. I can only speak for Esme, myself and Alice. We have no ill will toward you." He cautioned.

Edward laughed sarcastically. "No... It's me their concerned with. Isn't that right pup?" He asked, taking a stand in front of Jacob, who roared in fury at his remark.

Paul huffed beside me, his eyes glued to the scene ahead. What I wouldn't give to have his keen sense of sight right about now. I tried to do some kind of a head count, silently making a mental note of who was there and who wasn't. I was able to distinguish Alice as she took her position next to Esme. But the person I was looking for had yet to be placed... Ryan.

Where the hell was Ryan? I searched them again and came up empty. The realization of him missing had ice water surging through my veins. Why wasn't he here?

I turned towards Paul and voiced this to him. Despite the fact he couldn't effectively communicate with me right now, I still needed it to be heard.

"Emerson's missing."

Paul huffed loudly, his head turning to glance at Embry. Their minds linking in some way I wasn't privy to.

Edwards yelling carried through the dark forest. His words hateful. "I know you'll fight me for her, Jacob. After all, isn't that what we do best? Fight over Bella? But you see... this time proves to be different because in a way... you've won. But only to a certain degree. You really can't count it a victory yet and if memory serves me right, you're not to fond of vamp smell. When Aro changes her-"

Edwards cruelty was cut off by a loud roar from Jacob. The sound powerful enough to silence him momentarily. Paul took a step forward, looking as if he wanted to intervene, but held his stance by my side.

"I have no doubt in your ability to end me, Jacob. Take a look around... I'm outnumbered and even my own family has chosen your side over mine. You have the upper hand. Don't you? Wouldn't you say?"

An eery silence fell around us all and my mind began to wander. It had to be past time for when Jake and I were supposed to meet at his place for dinner. Charlie and Billy would be waiting and they would have shown up here by now on account of us being so late. They would have made the drive back to Forks to check and see if we were here. Yet, no one had showed up... no one.

I tried to remind myself to keep my head about me, despite the immense fear running through me... The fear that there was a reason Ryan wasn't here. In the same way there was a reason that neither Charlie or Billy had shown up looking for us. I felt completely helpless as I mulled this over. My gut telling me I was right. That he'd done something to them. Edward's voice cut into my thoughts and nearly confirmed my fear.

"I'm not sure you should bank on me being outnumbered... I may just still have the upper hand after all."

"Edward... What have you done?" Carlisle asked, his tone fierce with him.

"What I had to." Edward replied.

I moved forward, still staying hidden but being pulled ahead by my fear for Charlie... For Billy.

Furious snarls ripped through the pack and my heart began to pound.

"Tell me Jacob... What would you give up for her? What would you risk to save Bella?" Edward asked and with that he ran. His speed like lightning.

"Edward!" Carlisle yelled as he took off with Esme and Alice after him.

I watched the wolves follow suit and felt a nudge from Paul. I turned to see him lower himself down to my level, in a gesture for me to climb on his back. I paused and glanced to Embry who was eagerly waiting just ahead of us.

I climbed on without further thought and dug my hands securely into his fur before he took off like a bat out of hell. His speed nearly taking my breath away as he ran. I held on for dear life as we followed them.

When Paul finally came to a stop. I realized we were close to Jake's back yard. I could see his house. All the lights were on. Including the porch light which now made things more visible to me.

I felt Paul lower himself and I carefully climbed off him. My fear almost becoming palpable as I watched the horrifying scene begin to unfold and discovering that my previous concerns were not unfounded.

Jacob charged at Edward. His teeth barred and ready to attack. We were on La'Push land... His land. The pack was as furious as I'd ever seen. Each one coming to circle Edward. Carlisle, Esme and Alice came to a halt. Their golden eyes wide with recognition and dare I say... Fear.

"I wouldn't kill me if I were you..." Edward warned.

The front door to Jake's house swung wide open and my heart stopped when my eyes landed on my father. Ryan pushed him forward and I moved without thought. My adrenaline taking over and canceling out all reason. I only made it to the edge of the bordering tree line when Paul stepped in front of me. He nudged me backwards and I froze, watching on with horror as Ryan emerged with my father as his hostage. A loaded gun held to him.

Carlisle's menacing hiss is what I heard next. "Release him. Now! You can't do this!"

My father looked as if he was about to lose his mind. The pack surrounded them and Jacob moved forward with caution.

I turned back to Paul and Embry, desperate to know where Jakes thoughts were now. My father had been kept sheltered from all this before. His living in the dark was something I felt guilty about all the time - But to find out like this...

"I need one of you to phase back and tell me where Jake's head is... Please..."

My plea was heartfelt and proved to be effective. Paul and Embry shared a brief glance before Paul took cover a few feet away and phased back to human form. He emerged in his cut offs and came back to my side. His look weary.

"Jake's told the rest of the pack to wait. Not to kill Edward till he gives the order. With Emerson having your father... this changes things. He doesn't wanna act on impulse at the risk of your dad, Bella. We wait for his order."

I nodded and turned back around to see them all at a stand still.

"Edward, if you do something so heinous as this... You truly have become that which you detested all along." Alice said. Her voice becoming smaller now.

"Maybe so dear sister... Maybe so."

My eyes were glued to my father. His gaze growing more wide by the minute as he took in his surroundings. I could only imagine that he felt like he was in some twisted nightmare. One he hoped he would soon wake up screaming from.

My eyes blurred with unshed tears as Ryan pointed the gun at him.

I longed to be with him. To tell him everything was gonna be alright. To have the chance to explain all this. I hadn't noticed that I'd taken another few steps forward till a warm arm caught me by the waist.

"Bella..." Paul cautioned.

"Don't do this, Edward. There has to be some shred of decency left in the young man I've raised for over a hundred years. Think of the heartache you'll cause here tonight. Does that knowledge not affect you at all? Have you really become so evil?" Carlisle asked, his tone pleading.

"Wake up Carlisle! Don't you see? We are all monsters within. Some of us just seem to hide our demons better than others." Edward replied, his voice sounding detached.

I felt the tears run down my face as I watched. The helpless feeling beginning to become more than I could stand. How can I stay here and hide when my fathers life is on the line? His entire fate hanging in the balance of a mad man such as Ryan.

Memories of my childhood with him flashed before my very eyes and I began to fight against Paul's hold. I was starting to lose my stance and my sanity was slipping right along with it. I didn't want my father to pay for the young and naïve choices I'd made in the past. It wasn't fair that he should be the one to take the punishment now.

"Bella... I can't let you go out there." Paul's stern whisper in my ear made my struggle cease momentarily.

"I have to do something!" I snapped at him in reply. My words coming out harsher than I had intended them to.

"You see... It's very simple really... Give me Bella and I'll release Charlie."

The wolves began to snarl and my whole body shook as they surrounded Jacob in what appeared to be an effort to shield him so he could phase back to human form and pull on his cut offs. His thoroughness for the sanity's sake of my father alone I was sure.

The pack parted and he emerged from them. His look angry as I'd ever seen when he approached Ryan. I felt as if I couldn't breath, but in my head, I silently pleaded for my fathers life... Please don't make him suffer for my choices of the past.

Charlie looked as if he'd seen a ghost when Jacob approached him. Ryan's harsh words causing him to pause briefly.

"Take one more step Jacob and I'll shoot you."

"You better hope the fuck you don't miss asshole." Jacob threatened. His tone dark and brooding. "And given your shitty aim last time... I wouldn't bet on it."

Ryan seemed to falter in his stance. The gun lowering a bit when Jacob further approached Charlie.

"Don't try to be a hero, Jacob." Edward hissed.

Jacob didn't reply. He stopped in front of my father and raised his hands in a surrendering gesture to him. "It's still me, Charlie. I'm still Jacob."

My father didn't reply. His look pale and disoriented. Fear gripped me at the sight of him now. He would never get over me lying to him like this... Would he ever trust me again?

"Alright! Enough with all this! Find Bella and bring her to me, or you stand to lose more than just her tonight." Edward yelled.

"You'll have to kill me first leech. " Jacob snapped.

"That can be arranged."

"Try it..." Jacob beckoned. "Cause if you think I'm gonna let you take her from me... you're more deranged than even I thought."

I knew his words were true and my heart pounded painfully at the sight of them so damn close to each other.

Jacob would fight him to the death first. My eyes fell back on my father. Seeing them there... The two men who meant the most in this world to me Both risking their life for me. I stood to lose both... I stood to lose all in the end.

A sudden memory came back to me then. The memory of a story Billy had told years ago. The story of the brave wife who gave her very life to save the man she loved from the cold one. I had once made a similar daring move when Victoria had found Edward and I on the mountain.

Anger arose within me as I thought back on how I'd risked myself before to save him and now here he was willing to throw me to the Volturi without a second thought. I knew deep down he wasn't himself and I knew the man I left at the altar seemingly no longer existed, but as I stood there in the dark forest staring at the loaded gun pointed at my father and Jacob willing to risk it all to save us both, I no longer felt sympathy for Edward. I no longer felt anything but hatred for the monster he'd become... Hatred for the monster that had brought this war to my father. A war that wasn't his and should never be.

"I have to do something." I said, my voice no more than that of a harsh whisper to Paul and Embry. "I can't just stay here and watch... I can't." I turned to see Paul's eyes meet mine, his hold on me still firm but his eyes showing an understanding. "Help me do something... anything."

I wasn't above begging him... begging for my fathers life... and possibly Billy's.

"It could cause more harm than good to go out there and further involve yourself-" Paul argued.

"It's my father... and maybe Billy, too. We have to try something!"

I heard Embry huff in protest. His head shaking in disapproval at our conversation.

"I know you're-"

"No you don't!" I cut in sharply. "Tell me what you would do if that was your family!"

Paul went silent, his eyes narrowing at me in thought. "I would be just as stubborn as you... maybe worse."

"Then help me." I stated, our eyes locking.

"Jacob will have my ass for this." Paul sighed, glancing toward them. "But if were gonna do something... you need to trust me and do exactly what I say."

"Done." I replied. "Tell me what to do."

I would follow his every word if it meant I could help save my father and find Billy. I had to try.


	28. Chapter 29

**A/N: Let me start this note by saying how sorry I am for the long delayed update! Things have been crazy busy and I just now have had the time for a new chapter. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and this story and been patiently waiting for the next chapter! Here's the good news... I will be posting part two of this chapter tomorrow evening as a special thank you for your patience gift :) Now on with the story...**

**CHAPTER TWENTY - NINE (Part 1**)

**(JPOV)**

My father once said the key to happiness in life is captured through genuine appreciation for what you have instead of longing daily for that which you didn't. I remember as a child, he instilled values like these within all of us. My sisters had heard many of his appreciation lectures before they turned eighteen and they were all the more better off for it. His famous saying was... "If you really want to feel rich, look at all you have that money cannot buy and you will feel truly wealthy."

This was a saying I had grown to live by. Money and riches didn't always mean happiness. For me, money was never really appealing. I looked at it as more of a necessity to get by than a luxury to have. Something needed for survival and not required for happiness.

I firmly believed that who you had in your life held more value then what you had in your life.

The clock ticked by in my kitchen while I waited for Bella to show up for dinner. I had been running late from patrol this afternoon and half expected her to be waiting for me when I ran through the front door, instead I was greeted by Charlie and Billy sitting in the living room, each with a cold beer in hand.

"Hey there, son. I was betting dimes to dollars that Bella would've beat you here." Billy chuckled along with Charlie.

"Yea... Me too..." I replied, glancing back outside and feeling the unease of her absence sink into my veins.

I kept my worry to myself while I quickly showered and changed, thinking she'd be sitting and waiting for me when I was done.

The minutes crept along and I felt my insides crawl with the sick sense that told me she should be here by now. I left without stopping to give a perplexed looking Charlie an explanation. I knew my father was already keened into my line of thinking and would think of some excuse for him later.

I wasted no time when my paws hit the forest floor. I took off for her house. My senses on high alert and my instincts telling me she was far from okay. My fears were confirmed when a revolting stench struck me in the face about a mile from Bella's back yard. I picked up my speed and paused only once to raise my head and let out a loud warning howl. My lungs burned with the stench and my exhaustion by the time I heard the others cut into my thoughts.

_"Shit Jake! How the fuck could we miss him_!" Seth yelled as he came up fast behind me.

"_We've been running double shifts... what loophole could they have slipped through_." Collin added.

"_I don't know but their here now and Bella's missing_." I huffed. My speed nearly leaving them in the dust. "Stay hidden and close till I say."

When I reached her back yard, the stench was damn near revolting and my stomach turned as I phased back and slipped on my jeans. I immediately recognized another scent... one I couldn't place right away but soon became clear the closer I got. Seemed that Edward wasn't with Ryan... But Alice.

I crouched down by the bordering trees and listened to the frantic hissing coming from inside Bella's house.

"I can't believe you're choosing disloyalty to your own family to help her when she betrayed me!" Edward hissed.

I balled my hands into fists and fought the urge to go forward and kick his ass back to wherever the fuck it was he came from. Alice's high pitched tone cut through the forest.

"Her choosing was not one of betrayal. She followed her heart, Edward. Part of you always knew that she loved Jacob. You knew they shared something you couldn't understand." Alice yelled.

"I'm taking her to Aro."

I moved out of the cover of the trees. Tremors rocking through me from his threat. I'd kill him first... I'd kill them all first.

The sound of Bella's sudden scream had my insides raging to get my hands on the leech.

The front door suddenly flew open and Bella came out on a dead run for the forest. I ran back the way I'd came, following her sounds and scent in hopes to intercept her path. I could hear her pounding heartbeat and the branches snap as she fumbled through the dark. When her movements stilled, I quietly approached her. The moment I reached for her, I felt her struggle and knew if I had any hope in hell of keeping her from screaming, I had to act fast.

I covered her mouth to silence her scream and pressed my cheek to hers. "Shh... Bells... It's me honey. I have you."

I felt her stop struggling and dropped my hand. "Jacob."

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No... Alice is here..."

"I know. I picked up on her scent when we got close. The pack is right behind me."

A loud crash that came from her house caused me to tighten my hold on her. The pack soon approached and I heard the hissing from Edward grow louder. The packs menacing snarls began to echo loudly off the trees and my tremors quickly took hold of me.

"I need to phase back. Don't worry... Paul and Embry are staying here with you." I told her in a whisper.

She hugged me tight just as the sound of Edwards voice loomed around us.

"Come on Bella! Is this what it's come to? A little game of cat and mouse? Need I remind you how clumsy you are? Let alone in the dark. The odds really aren't in your favor."

I released her, feeling my self control slip as the wolf within me clawed its way out from Edward's presence. His taunting continued as I phased and joined the pack. There thoughts becoming shouts of anger.

"_He's brought the whole damn clan with him_?" Seth snarled.

"_Sure appears that way_!" Colin huffed.

My eyes remained on Edwards every twitch as he fought with Alice, Esme and Carlisle. "_They're not working with him... this plays to our advantage_... "

_"For now..."_ Quil cautioned, his eyes meeting my own. "_He could have Aro on stand by..."_

_"He wouldn't come here alone... He's too much of a coward_." Seth added.

My eyes roamed the surrounding trees, taking a deep breath in and trying to pick up on any additional vamp stench. It was then that it hit me...

"_Where the fuck is Ryan_?" I huffed.

Quil raised his head and took a few steps forward. "_Nowhere..."_

My insides began to crawl with that sick sense of fucking dread I hated. The kind that made you want to grab everyone who meant anything to you and run. The kind that told me Edward had come prepared and we were in for a fight far worse than originally thought.

My thoughts were over taken with the possibility that Edward had already secured his own personal insurance policy for this game.

"So this is how it's going to be? The three of you... my own family... against me? So be it... I'll take you all on." Edward hissed loudly.

I moved forward and gave the order for the others to follow me. We stalked in unison toward them, making our presence known. I saw Carlisle's golden eyes grow wide as he took us all in. Esme drew herself into his side with a weary expression at our presence. Their fighting coming to a sudden end. They were out numbered and they knew it.

"We mean no harm. I can only speak for Esme, myself and Alice. We have no ill will toward you." Carlisle offered.

"No..." Edward laughed. The very sound of it evil. "It's me their concerned with. Isn't that right pup?" He asked, taking a step toward me. I matched his stance and roared furiously at his mocking tone.

The pack began to growl as he continued...

"I know you'll fight me for her, Jacob. After all, isn't that what we do best? Fight over Bella? But you see... this time proves to be different because in a way... you've already won. But only to a certain degree. You really cant count it a victory yet and if memory serves me right, you're not too fond of vamp smell... When Aro changes her-"

I lurched forward and roared again, silencing him. His eyes black as the night. The silence was unfortunately short lived.

"I have no doubt in your ability to end me, Jacob. Take a look around... I'm outnumbered and even my own family has chosen your side over mine. You have the upper hand. Don't you? Wouldn't you say? Then again... I'm not sure you should bank on me being outnumbered... I may just have the upper hand after all."

"Edward..." Carlisle snapped in a hiss. "What have you done?"

"What I had to."

The pack grew furious. Each snarl becoming louder than the last. My own anger beginning to wash over me for him.

"Tell me Jacob... what would you give up for her? What would you risk to save Bella?"

He then took off like a bat out of hell and I went after him. The pack was fast behind me as we ran, never letting him get out of sight.

"_He's headed for La'Push Jacob_!" Seth yelled, his strides matching mine.

"_We have the right to kill him for that alone. What the hell are we waiting for."_ Jarod huffed.

"_No one makes a move till I say... NO ONE._" I ordered, taking the lead again and crossing the river into my land. Heat surged through my body the moment my paws touched the forest floor of La'Push and with the stench of leech fresh in the air. It went against all that I was to not kill them for being on my territory. I kept my speed and remained hot on his heels till he stopped at the border of my back yard.

_"What kind of sick fucking game are you playing bloodsucker._" I yelled to him in my mind as I charged at him, knowing he could hear my every thought.

The pack began to circle Edward, as I stopped inches from him. My instincts telling me not to give in to the urge to end his miserable existence just yet. That this game of his was just getting started.

"I wouldn't kill me if I were you..." He hissed as the front door to my house opened. I snapped my head in the direction of my house to see Charlie in the doorway. His eyes wide with fear as Ryan shoved him forward, a gun held to his back.

"Release him! Now! You can't do this!" Carlisle angrily hissed.

My mind was invaded by the many loud thoughts and shouts from the pack as they saw Charlie now being Ryan's hostage.

_"We could take them!"_ Seth barked angrily.

"_Fucking right we could_." Quil huffed... "_We can't wait any longer_..._ He has Charlie for shits sake! What if Aro is already here? Jacob... What if he has your father somewhere?"_

His statement gripped me by the throat as I realized we were playing right into his hand. This is what he wanted. To catch us off guard and lure our attention away from the bigger threat. This was his deranged plan all along.

"_WE WAIT_." I stated firmly to them. "_No one moves out of line till I say. For Charlie's sake... WAIT."_

I moved forward without further thought. My concern for Charlie pushing me onward. I knew that Bella was watching somewhere near by and I knew that to see him with a gun pointed to his back would have her terrified and desperate. A combination that could cause her to be reckless.

The pack read my thoughts and covered me so I could phase back and approach Charlie so he would know he wasn't alone here. That he wasn't without his family... without us.

I approached him with caution, seeing his eyes wide with confusion and fear. Placing myself in his shoes, I would be just as horrified. I raised my hands and took a few more steps toward him until Ryan's threat halted me where I stood.

"Take one more step Jacob and I'll shoot you." He threatened, raising the gun to me.

"You better hope the fuck you don't miss asshole." I snapped. "And given your shitty aim last time, I wouldn't bet on it."

He went silent with that as he lowered the gun. My tone seeming to make him think twice.

I further approached Charlie. My goal to make him see that it was still me.

"Don't try to be a hero, Jacob..." Edward sneered.

"Edward... If you do something so heinous as this... You truly have become that which you detested all along." I heard Alice say.

"Maybe so dear sister... Maybe so."

They continued to plead and reason with him as I took my place in front of Charlie. His expression unreadable as I spoke. "It's still me Charlie. I'm still Jacob."

He looked me over once. His eyes coming to rest on my face. He wore a look of disbelief, like he was trying to convince himself that what I said was true.

"Don't do this Edward. There has to be some shred of decency left in the young man I've raised for over a hundred years. Think of the heartache you'll cause here tonight. Does that knowledge not affect you at all? Have you really become so evil?" Carlisle asked.

"Wake up Carlisle! Don't you see? We are all monsters within. Some of us just hide our demons better than others."

I kept my eyes on Charlie, seeing the gun in Ryan's hand shake a bit. This told me he was uncertain of himself and this would work to my advantage.

"Alright!" Edward yelled. "Enough with all this! Find Bella and bring her to me or you stand to lose more than just her tonight!"

"You'll have to kill me first leech!" I shouted back, my resolve all but fucking gone now.

"That can be arranged..."

"Try it!" I snapped back in reply. "Cause if you think I'm gonna let you take her from me... You're more deranged than even I thought."

He went silent for a moment. His look demonized and cold.

I began to turn myself over to the anger and hatred I had for him, allowing it to consume me. My tremors became more than I could control and I was soon back on all fours. Charlie looked at me in shock and disbelief as I stalked toward Edward.

He was on my land, threatening to take the most important thing in this world to me... my imprint. I had every fucking right to kill him. Every right to end his soul sucking existence.

The sound of a shotgun suddenly rang out and Ryan dropped his gun as he fell to his knees. Charlie whirled and watched him sink to the ground.

Sam stepped out of the woods then, his hand clutching the pistol and his gaze fixed on Cullen. "Got any other sidekicks I should know about? Or should we just bypass all this bullshit and get straight to it. You seem to forget just where the hell you are and exactly where your place is Edward. This is Quileute Land. Did you really think you could breeze on through as you please?"

"Sam?" Charlie choked out in question.

Edward glanced toward Ryan as he lay there. His body limp and unresponsive. Carlisle made a move to aid him but stopped when Quil intercepted him.

"See Carlisle..." Edward began... "As I said before... We are all monsters inside... some of us just hide our demons better than others. Isn't that right Samuel?"

I saw his intent before he had time to make his move. Edward darted out around Carlisle and fleeted toward Sam. I lunged forward, intercepting his path and landing in front of him. Angry snarls ripped through the pack as we circled each other.

"This is the way it was always meant to be... the two of us fighting to the death for Bella... So be it, Jacob. When I'm done with you and your pups, Bella will have no choice but to come with me."

I snarled at him, my teeth bared and my head full of profanity for him.

Carlisle ran toward us, placing himself as a barrier between us. "Edward your actions have already caused the loss of one life. Stop this!"

"Are you siding with the wolves Carlisle...?" Edward hissed.

Carlisle turned his head toward me, our eyes meeting only for a second but his answer already there in them before he spoke his reply. "Yes... I am. You leave me no choice but to fight you. This is a battle you can't win."

"You're betraying your own son!" Edward shouted.

"And you've betrayed yourself, Edward!" Carlisle hissed.

Esme interjected with Alice coming to her side. "Think of what you're about to do Edward. Please! I beg of you!"

Her plea was heartfelt and the sound of it was true. There was no denying she feared for the outcome of this as much as we all did.

"Can't you see it is you all who have betrayed me!" Edward raged.

"What have you become, Edward?" Alice asked, her voice low as she touched his face. The gesture seemingly genuine. "Come back to us. Come back to Denali with us and we can find a way to help you."

"Help me?" Edward mocked. "If you really wanted to help me my sister, you'd find Bella and you'd be by my side when I delivered her to Aro. It is a promise I've made and one I intend to keep. You can either join me now or become my enemy. We can be powerful together... A united front... A team. Need I remind you that Aro wants us both? He has offered you such destiny in the past. Think of all we can accomplish together. We are an impeccable team and Aro has great use for you. But the choice is ultimately yours. Carlisle has clearly made his. So, I ask you... where does your loyalty lye? With whom are you true?"

Alice was silent for a brief moment. Her golden gaze fixed on his.

"You're right. We would be truly impeccable together... unmatched even. I would be of far more use to Aro than Bella. So I now ask you if all this trouble is really worth some small town girl from Forks, Washington. You'd be foolish to spend any more of your time on her. You and I both know Aro has begged for us to join him for years now. Bring me with you and your reward will be far greater than you imagined... Surely you must see this?"


	29. Chapter 30

**A/N: Thank you again for your continued support and patience with this chapter. I've been doing my best to get them out in a timely manor. As always... Happy Reading! Now on with the story...**

**CHAPTER TWENTY - NINE (Part 2)**

**(JPOV)**

Alice's words hung in the air around us as a new shift in wind began to blow. With it came a different revolting and acidic scent. It was strong and doused my senses, bringing them to new heights, like Kerosene being poured on a raging fire. My eyes sought out it's source and intense heat surged its way through me, chasing away any sense of prior caution and leaving nothing but raw animalistic rage in its wake. The packs many loud thoughts came together all at once in my mind as I deeply inhaled another burning lungful of the acidic stench that washed over me from a new direction. I turned my head back to Edward and saw the evil glint that arose from his stare in my direction.

"We can be a team, Edward. It would be perfect... There is no use for any further dealings here. Let's cut our losses and move on, Dear brother... you have to see my point of reason..." Alice sighed. Her tone even, and her choice of words well thought out as she attempted to lure him in.

Edwards silence told me he knew what she was doing and that he wouldn't take the bait she desperately dangled in front of him. As power hungry as he was, he was equally as infatuated with Bella... My Bells. And I knew what that kind of desperation could drive one to do. I was almost fucking certain he'd throw any one of his family members as an offering to Aro if that meant he got her back for Eternity.

Over my dead fucking body...

Undiluted fury overtook me as the many pieces of his sick game fell into place. Like the many pawn pieces on a chess board, he had aligned us exactly where he wanted to make his final play, showing that his demented mind had reached new levels. I stalked toward him, seeing the golden eyes of the others grow wide as they slowly turned their heads in the direction of the familiar scent. Carlisle's stern voice crackled over the many snarls coming from the pack behind me.

"The Volturi..." His voice was deadly as he grabbed Edward by the collar, whipping him abruptly around to face his heated gaze. "You really have no shred of decency left. Do you know what you've done." He hissed in fury.

My orders to Quil and Jared were immediate. _"Get Charlie away from here. NOW! Don't stop running for anything. You hear me?"_

"Wait just one damn minute! Where is my daughter and who the hell is the Volturi!" Charlie yelled in protest, his gaze lethal as he looked toward Edward. "I swear, if you've done something to her, I'll kill you!" He lurched forward as I moved in front of him, urgently pushing him back toward the pack. He looked at me with genuine fear. My wolf form no doubt to be the cause of some of it. "Jake, I don't know what the hell is going on here but I'm not leaving without Bella!"

I huffed fiercely, lowering my head and nudging him back again. He stared at me in confusion as I nodded towards Quil, who sunk down on his haunches and waited patiently for Charlie. Jared let out a loud bark and shook his head violently as Charlie slowly but surely began to put the pieces together. "I'm supposed to leave her-"

I huffed even louder, squaring my shoulders and locking eyes with him. Recognition flashed in his own after a few fleeting seconds. "You bring her back to me, Jacob... Promise me?"

His eyes were wide as his voice cracked on the last word, making my chest ache for the man who had now been so cruely thrown into the middle of this shit. Something Bella had never wanted.

I lowered my head to him again and kept his gaze, nodding to him and pushing him back with a final nudge toward Quil. I watched closely as he climbed on his back. His stature appearing unsteady as Quil slowly rose with him.

_"GO NOW_!" I barked out to Quil and Jared. They abruptly turned and took off without a backwards glance, running wildly through the forest just as the gust of wind blew harshly around us and the Volturi's acidic stench closed itself in further.

I turned back around to see each and every pack member falling in line and awaiting my command.

"_WE PROTECT OUR LAND AT ANY COST_." I asserted, whipping my head around just in time to catch the sly smirk on the face of Edward Cullen.

"You shouldn't have underestimated me." He sadistically laughed, throwing his head back with his own self perceived victory.

"_I DIDN'T_." I declared, watching his laughter seize and his eyes snap back to mine. _"I anticipated your next twisted move long before tonight and I prepared for it. In fact... I bet on it."_

With that, I threw my head back and let out an ear splitting howl into the dead of night. The signal spanning out through the forest and echoing high up off the tree's as it reached the awaiting ears of the Elders.

A few heartbeats later and their thoughts linked to our own as they phased in and ran to meet us.

Edwards eyes were unfixed as they met mine. "You stupid mutt!" He hissed. "Bella is coming with me. Dead or alive!"

His words sparked a new rage to come roaring out from within me and I could feel the heat surge its way through my veins, like liquid molten lava coating my insides.

"She's MINE." I roared, feeling the deep rumble come to life in my chest

Edwards eyes quickly formed into black slits as he hissed while hitching his lips over the glint of white venom soaked fangs. "Do you not know the ruthlessness I possess? Have you not learned this?"

The war that raged within me was rising to new heights as he tried to reclaim something that was never truly his... Something that was now unequivocally mine and being the over pompous, ignorant fucking fool that he was, he knew nothing about the monster he threatened to unleash. My head snapped in the direction to that which my senses were overpowered with...

_Leech..._

_Potent... Acidic ... Too strong to belong to that of just one..._

I inhaled again, filling my lungs with the surrounding poison that floated in the air at their approaching presence.

I distinguished their individualized rotting stench the closer they got...

_Three... no... Five..._

Loud howls surrounded us when the Elders approached. Each of them oozing hatred through enraged snarls for Edward. They joined the others and each of them fell in line with loud roars of menacing rage.

I watched in satisfaction as Edwards gaze grew wider and his hiss receded into the back of his throat. With my ears laid back and my head low to the ground as a snarl left me, I listened closely... desperately searching for the sound that mattered most... the only sound that held me to this world...

It was frantic and beating with fear and adrenaline but it was there... She was here still... She was close... _too fucking close_...

My eyes snapped up to lock on the face of the leech who dare think he could ever take her from me.

"_I'm going to rip your fucking throat out_." I roared to him.

Edwards sadistic smile turned to the far bordering tree line and my gaze followed, already knowing what he sought out.

They emerged in a perfect formed line from the woods. Their steps swift and seemingly weightless. Carlisle rushed to my side in a flash, his golden eyes frantically searching my own before gazing out ahead. Alice and Esme abruptly followed suit. Their words nearly inaudible when spoken.

"We stand with you Jacob. If you'll have us?"

I gave him one silent nod as the Volturi crept in. Their movements eerily gracious for something so demonic and evil. Aro's red irises sought mine as they stopped in front of us. The pack became restless and I hushed them all with one command.

"SILENCE."

Their smell was revolting and my stomach nearly heaved from the potency of it. My lungs feeling as if they were being drowned in the acidic stench.

From my peripheral vision, I caught the sight of Paul lingering by the East tree line just as Aro spoke his first words to Carlisle.

"Dear Carlisle... Oh how long it's been my friend?"

"Yes it has Aro. What brings you to us this evening?"

"Lets not insult my intelligence by pretending you don't know the reason for our little visit. Your son should have enlightened you? Has he not?"

"Edward is not in his right mind these days. I assume you're already aware of this? There was no enlightening of any sort."

"Yes... Seems that his lovers sudden departure has caused him much grief and discomfort. He came to me seeking once again to end his existence but we were able to find compromise. A deal was made that would satisfy both parties. Isn't that right, Edward?"

I took a step forward, feeling the dominant spirit within me rise at the sound of his words. An audible growl resonated low within my chest as Carlisle stepped closer to Aro. His eyes unmoving and fixed upon his. Crimson red and liquid gold clashing together with fierce opposing differences.

My eyes glanced instinctively to the East side again to see Paul emerge there in human form... alone...

Bells...

I bit back a snarl and forced myself to pay attention to the exchange taking place in front of me. My insides began to crawl as Bella's heartbeat shifted into a sudden sprint. The sound of it screaming fear to me.

"Surely you can't take Edward at his word now... not in the state of mind he's in. You can't possibly understand what torment he's been living in. His word is no longer his bond. You'd be a fool if you took him at it."

Aro's blood red gaze fell upon Edward who had grown mute now. "Is that right dear Edward? Can I not trust you to deliver what you've promised?"

"Aro..." Carlisle harshly interrupted... "What is it that you expect to be delivered here this evening? You seem to have forgotten the most critical piece of this entire equation... Edward doesn't care if he exists or not... if he doesn't deliver what you've asked him to... you'll end him? Correct?"

Aro nodded once. The gesture unsettlingly calm and his gaze unfixed as he did so.

"Then who loses out here? It would be you... would it not?"

Aro drew out a long un - needed breath and turned to face Edward. "Have you been so foolish as to trick me? Surely, you wouldn't!"

Edward shook his head quickly, his eyes coming to meet mine once before he answered. "I am not the one who can deliver her to you the way I'd hoped. We've hit an obstacle."

"I see..." Aro replied.

Edward suddenly dropped to his knees, screaming out and gripping his head in his hands. The look of his agony appearing as if someone had lit his fucking insides on fire and watched him burn from the inside out.

Carlisle lurched forward and stopped abruptly when Alice yanked him back. "No..."

The look of pain was now etched in Carlisle's face as he watched Edward continue to agonize on the ground beneath him.

"You promised me a new addition to our coven..."Aro hissed. "Yet you fail to bring her to me..."

Carlisle whirled back to Aro in a sudden rush of movement. "Release him, Jane! Now!" He hissed.

My eyes fell on the petite little girl who looked no more than the age of 14, yet had the gaze of a monster. Her face was almost angelic which made the look of unfixed crimson eyes all the more sickening to behold.

"Why?" Jane asked, a smile forming on her face as she watched Edward writhe and convulse in agony beneath her. The sick and twisted gesture of her smile enough to make me snarl. Her head suddenly whipped in my direction and Edward gasped for air. I stared back at her, bracing myself for whatever torment she chose to leash out on me.

A frantic whine from behind me caused me to break her gaze as Collin fell to the ground, frantically trying to get back up, only for his legs to give out from under him. His struggling efforts proving to be futile. A deafening scream from his agony ripped through my mind. I lurched forward, and felt Carlisle suddenly shift his weight, as he turned abruptly to face me, placing his hands up in warning. "Don't..."

I moved forward anyway as Collin's agony filtered through all of us. He was just a kid... a young boy who had just started to adjust to the way of pack life. I bared my razor sharp teeth as Carlisle turned back.

"Call Jane off, Aro. You don't understand the danger to yourself if you don't. Take it from one who knows... Don't underestimate the wolves. You'd truly be a fool to do so."

Aro threw his head back in mocking laughter as he waved a hand to Jane, effectively haulting her assault on Collin. He whined profusely as he regained his bearings and took his place back in line next to Seth. Several menacing snarls ripped through the pack as Aro's eyes wandered over us.

"I am tired of your games Edward. I have no need for any more of them this evening... as a matter of fact... I have no need for you at all now..."

With his final words, Aro waved his left hand and Demetri suddenly had Edward by the throat. Carlisle charged after him, grabbing him from behind and trying to pry him off. Alice's shrill scream poured over us as they fought.

"No! Carlisle!"

I watched each movement as Edward's head was snapped back in Demetri's death grip. The sound of it mimicking smashing concrete.

Alice made a mad run for them but was stopped in her tracks by Jane's painful gaze. I watched her tiny frame fall to the forest floor, clutching her head and screaming out in despair. Esme's audible gasp came from beside me. "Please help them..." She pleaded, looking to us for a fighting chance. "I know we've had our-" She was cut off mid thought as Demetri grabbed Edward from behind, now forcing him to the ground and landing a powerful blow to Carlisle which sent him flying into the base of a large tree where he struggled before he congealed to his feet again.

Alice tried to get up and help but Jane left her paralyzed again under her watchful eye.

"_We have to help them_..." Seth huffed, stepping out of formation.

"_Wait."_ I ordered, watching every damn move they made as they continued to try and tear each other apart.

"_Let them destroy themselves_._ Who gives a fuck_!" Brady scoffed. His tone dark and angry for what Jane had done to Collin moments ago.

"_Jacob... This could give us a huge advantage."_ One of the elders suggested.

"..._ or be the move their betting on_..." Collin argued.

"..._ WAIT_..." I ordered. Feeling the warriors direction within now pulling me to be still.

The warriors spirit was a sense of all knowing that I had learned in the past not to go against. I had come to learn how to be led by it. How to push the man side of me down and rely solely on the wolf within. For it always knew best.

Demetri and Carlisle were fighting to the death - whose death I couldn't be certain, but he wasn't giving in. Edward stumbled to his feet and ran toward Carlisle just as Demetri had taken hold of him by the throat.

My eyes snapped to the smug and sickening crooked smile that had now formed on Aro's face. "Such childish games we play?" He mocked as the fighting continued. Esme swiftly approached him, dropping on her knees in front of him with her plea.

"Stop this... I beg of you. You know he'll fight for Edward till the end!" She cried.

The sound of her earnest plea gripped me with her genuine desperation. I had always held a level of tolerance and even respect for Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle hadn't thought twice about saving my life in the Newborn battle. I would be dead without his aid back then and for that I owed him greatly. Esme's gentle voice and earnest character had always reminded me of my mothers, causing me to hold her separate from that of her deranged son.

Aro shook his head with a silent dismissal of her plea before speaking. "I was promised-"

"She is not yours, Aro. Leave her be. She wishes to no longer be part of us. That is her wish. Please let it be. You don't need her or my son."

"Wrong!" He yelled at her, slapping her across the face. "They are of vital use to me. Isabella will make for a fine addition to our coven and I will use whatever means necessary to get her!"

The sound of the slap was loud and I stalked forward, seeing his eyes glint as he scanned the surrounding forest for any sign of her... My Bells.

Esme's terrified scream echoed off the trees then, stopping me in my tracks as the pack roared to life behind me. My eyes fell on the scene being played out before me...

Edward had fallen to the ground from Jane's gaze. Anguish pouring from every ragged scream he made. Alice had been released from her spell of torture and had struck Demetri with a powerful blow. One I didn't think she processed within her tiny silhouette. He flew backwards, dragging his hands in the forest floor beneath him for traction as he tore up the ground in his grasp. His head snapped up, eyes red as the blood in my veins when they met mine. In that moment, the entire scene shifted.

_"**Kill him**..._ " I ordered in a roar as he charged for me.

The pack sprang into a dead run for him, their teeth connecting with his granite limbs and severing them from several different angles. They ripped him apart, piece by piece.

"NO!" Aro raged. His head whipping around to mine with new recognition. "You..."

His lips peeled up over his venom soaked fangs as he came at me. I was ready... I was more than fucking ready.

Carlisle suddenly rammed into his side, throwing him into a nearby tree with a loud crash. The tree splintered at the base and swayed from the force as he got back to his feet.

"How dare you side with the likes of a wolf over your own kind!" He screamed in rage as they collided mid air.

Esme's small frame was now fighting with that of a smaller boy... a young man whose face was stone fixed and child like... Alec.

I saw Jane turn her gaze in Esme's direction and I bolted for her. My jaws coming to connect with her granite left shoulder and ripping it clean off. She screamed out in fury, her brother quickly coming to her defense and dropping Esme to the forest floor as he released her from his grasp. He pounced on me from behind, the force of it cracking two lower left ribs. I felt him being ripped off me as I tossed Jane's arm into the woods, seeing it twitch as it landed. Carlisle had pulled him off and Alice had pounced on his back, ripping his head backwards with great force. I watched with satisfaction as his granite skin began to crack and separate from his head. Alice gave one more final pull and it fell to the ground. Red eyes staring blankly at my feet. I ran and picked it up with my powerful jaws, carrying it as Jane's gaze wandered over to Seth who had lit her lost appendage on fire, the fire soon beginning to blaze with a billowing purple smoke.

I ran toward him, seeing her fix her eyes on him. His ear shattering scream of agony washed over me, bringing my run to a new speed to get to him. I threw the head of her brother into the raging fire and took a protective stance over his cowering body. The pain was so severe that he phased back to human form. His naked form thrashed and jolted, his screaming cut off by choking gasps. His cries suddenly stopped as I charged for her.

I felt the pain from her gaze hit my nervous system first just before I reached her. The brutality of it dropped me mid - run. Every nerve in me felt as if it had been lit on fire. My entire body being plunged into the pain ... like someone had injected my veins with acid and then chased it with kerosene and lit match. I fought against it... hard... pushing myself back up off the forest floor and locking eyes with her. A faint and familiar voice spoke to me somewhere in the back of my mind. The sound of it phasing in and out...

_"I got your back, Jake."_

I tried to focus on it and pinpoint who it belonged to, but the pain had me locked in my own personal hell, leaving me unable to think.

Jane took a step toward me just as a black wolf plowed into her. I watched her fall to her knees, now missing another arm as she screamed out in fury. The wolf turned back to me, his eyes jet black and his muscular stance sturdy... balanced and herculean.

Sam...

The appendage was still clutched in his powerful muzzle as he approached me with a nod of assurance. I took the arm from him and tossed it into the fire that was billowing high with the choking aftermath of rotting leech.

I turned and met Sam's gaze before he soon whipped his powerful head around and approached a shrieking Jane. Pride arose within me at the sight of him ripping her apart. The ear piercing screams from her grating my nerves like fucking nails on a chalkboard. It was silenced when he savagely ripped her head from her body. I ran to his aid, helping him collect the many pieces in my muzzle and tossing them in the blazing fire as we ran to Seth, who had not moved from his fetal position of agony.

Sam nudged him and he gasped. His entire body shaking like a leaf and his skin covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Sam..." Seth breathe, his eyes widening as he peered up at us.

Sam phased back into human form and scooped him up in strong arms. "Hold on... I got you. I'll take him back to Emily."

I huffed once and sought out Jared who was guarding the fire. "_Go with them_." I commanded.

With a submissive nod of his head, Jared phased back and helped carry Seth back to Emily's. I watched them head into the woods and swiftly turned back to the chaos that had now been fully unleashed. My eyes met Edward's just before he dashed into the woods. Running like the wind to where Paul had been before. I took off after him, my speed exceeding his as he ran. Brady suddenly intercepted his path. His deafening roar stopping Edward in his tracks. I came up from behind him and caught the smell of another leech as I closed in. The scent was mixed with Bella's and it was fresh. I stepped in front of Edward, placing myself as a barrier between him and Brady and listening closely to the sound of her heart, hearing it beat like wildfire within her chest.

"**Where is she**!" I roared in fury.

Edward's eyes flashed toward my house and then a crooked smile crested his face. "Isn't it your job to know?"

I lunged for him, grabbing him by the shoulder and throwing him to the ground beneath me. My paws slamming down on either side of his head as I snarled inches from his face. His arrogant look fading into one of masked fear.

"Tell him!" Carlisle hissed from behind me, appearing by my side in the blink of an eye.

"Shut up Carlisle. You know nothing!" Edward screamed back.

"Tell him how you've manipulated Bella's affection from the start... TELL HIM THE TRUTH... You knew she was always his. You knew long before you lured her in as your own. Now look at the madness your blatant ignorance has erupted. She was never yours, Edward. You couldn't accept the fact that she chose what was meant to be all along. She's become your obsession. You feel you can't exist without her but she is no longer your Bella. You need to let her go. This insanity has gone on long enough. Lives are at stake here. Bella is not the cause of your perdition."

A shrilling scream surrounded us then, settling into my bones as it echoed off the trees.

Bells...

"Indeed... Lives are at stake here..." Edward crooned in reply to Carlisle, though his gaze was fixed on me.

Raw and untamed rage crawled its way out from within me as another scream pierced the night air and a new scorching heat crept its way up my spine, flooding through me from the sound. Like a leash that had been snapped... I let the monster within come raging out as I tore into his granite shoulder. The sound of Alice's high pitched scream only making me bite harder. I was done with his fucking games.

The rules had just changed.


	30. Chapter 31

**A/N: Okay everyone... thank you again for waiting! As always a HUGE thanks to each and every one of you who have followed/liked/favorited/reviewed this story. Your support means more to me than words can express. Okay... enough of my rambling. Happy reading... Now on with the story! :)**

**CHAPTER THIRTY - ONE  
**

That moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart. For love is not just a feeling, it's a commitment and above all else a sacrifice...

What would you risk for the ones you love? What price would you pay for their safety?

**(BPOV)**

My hands dug harshly into Paul's fur as he bolted through the dense forest. His movements swift and remarkably graceful despite his monstrous size and speed. Everything around me became a blur while he ran. The cold wind whipped harshly around my face and I held on for dear life while adrenaline pumped through my veins... I had to do something... They were here because of me...

Paul suddenly skidded to an abrupt stop as every muscle in his body tensed, coiling within like a spring that was ready to snap forward at any moment. I dug my hands deeper into the coarse fur at the nape of his neck. His head lifted and turned from left to right... once... twice...

He was searching for something...

My blood ran cold and the unease settled in around me as my scalp began to tingle with fear and my breathing hitched. Paul huffed loudly, the action sending shudders through him beneath me. He shook his head violently back and forth and suddenly whirled, switching his course of direction entirely. He ran faster than before and I ducked my head closer to him, trying to cut the chill of the harsh wind and clinging to him with white knuckles. A fierce growl rumbled through his chest as he ran, making the unsettling feeling I had, only intensify.

He was running with a new speed ...

He was running from something ...

He came to another skidded stop and immediately sank down on his haunches so I could climb off. I jumped to my feet, my eyes trying to make out even the smallest shadow of something unfamiliar in the pitch black of the night.

"Paul..." I whispered, feeling him brush up against my side once before placing considerable distance between us. I focused on his shuddering wolf frame until he phased right there in front of me. His nakedness causing a rush of heated embarrassment to flush my face.

"The Volturi are here."

The four words he spoke made my knees buckle and my head spin from the rush of fear. My mind went blank and my heart raced as I felt warm hands steady me.

"I have to get you far-"

"No..." I breathed in protest. "They'll kill Charlie!"

"Bella..."

"No." I repeated, shrugging harshly out of his grasp. "I brought this to him. I'm not leaving him there. You can either take me back, or we try and finish the plan we started. There is no third option, Paul. I'm not going-"

He grabbed me by the shoulders again, his grip tight and his voice a deeper baritone now. "I have a duty to keep you safe. You're my Alpha's imprint, Bella. You're Family. No different than Emily to us. Each and every one of us has a divine responsibility to keep you safe, too."

I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off by the sound of a gunshot blaring out somewhere in the distance.

"Dad..." I gasped, frantically trying to get free of Paul's tight hold. "No! Let me go!"

"Bella." He yelled, jolting me once to stop my struggle. "You can't go running into the middle of this fight. For shit's sake, Jacob would lose his fucking mind! You're the center of his whole universe... always have been... imprint or not."

His words brought me up short with my struggle. My heart constricting painfully now, as I realized that I was in what felt like an impossible situation...

Paul released me slowly and stepped back, his hand remaining on my arm when he spoke. "You weren't here before, Bella. You don't know what kind of shit he went through. We all went through that time with him. There was nothing... no one... that could fill the void of you for him. Being in his mind used to be hell on all of us. So you can fight me on this... kicking and fucking screaming for all I care... but with the Volturi here now, there's no way in hell I'm finishing our plan. It's too fucking risky. Jacob would never forgive me or himself if something happened to you."

His words weighed heavily on me and I desperately tried to pull my own shit together as I thought of the truth behind them.

Paul saw my struggle and took a comforting step forward. "You have to trust Jacob. You have to place all this with him and have faith."

I swallowed hard with a nod of understanding. "I do have faith in Jacob."

There was no one I placed more trust or faith in.

A loud howl echoed over the forest as Paul's eyes met mine. "He's alerting the elders. They're coming... You're dad's okay. Ryan's ..." Paul paused, his eyes slipping down. "...dead. Sam... Sam shot him."

I stared blankly at him, relieved to hear that Charlie was okay and that Ryan was no longer a threat. Paul's head snapped up, his look now blank and vacant as he moved away from me.

"What... What? What's happening!"

He didn't answer as his body shook with violent tremors, blurring his human form before my very eyes. I watched in fascination as he erupted into his wolf and landed on all fours. His teeth bared and his ears laid fully back. He quickly lowered himself and I climbed back on without hesitation. He took off in a dead run. My hands gripping fists full of his fur as he flew with lightning speed through the forest. I couldn't tell where we were headed or what his sudden shift meant now.

Several howls broke out in the far off distance and I was suddenly jolted forward when Paul stopped dead in his tracks where he was. His muscles returning to the form of a tightly coiled spring.

"Paul..." I whispered, feeling him back up a few strides and turn around. His head searched high and low and in every other which direction, huffing profusely. He lowered himself down with caution and I slowly placed my feet back on solid ground. My heart beating like a jack hammer in my chest and my skin tingling with hair raising anxiety as the unsettling silence crept in around us. There was no sound of wind or that of even the small creatures that often moved in the night.

Dead silence...

I turned to Paul and felt him nudge his muzzle into my chest, pushing me backwards. He turned then, placing himself protectively in front of me.

Ice water trickled down through my veins as recognition sunk in.

A shadowed blur of rapid movement whipped past me, the speed of it causing my hair to blow in a wind that didn't come from mother nature. Paul's roar was viscous as he leapt toward it. I bit back a scream as the two shadows swallowed each other mid air. A fierce hissing sound rose up from the forest when they landed as Paul got back to his feet from it's violent blow.

Red eyes glowed like firelight in the dark while they sought mine. The crimson red irises truly horrifying to behold as Paul charged the figure. I watched in terror as Paul fought it, the red irises glinting in the moon light. The figure leapt up into the trees and Paul ran for me. I hurdled myself onto his back, barely stopping long enough to get a good grip before he ran like the wind.

I shook as my system coursed with fear... adrenaline... and more than that... a hunger to stay alive... to stay human... To be given back the chance to live a full and ordinary human life. Something I was once stupid enough to forsake but desperately wanted now.

Paul shifted his direction as I lifted my head in an attempt to see something... anything... from above me. My eyes searched frantically for the shadow, the night working in it's favor and my terror washing over me.

My body was suddenly jerked forward violently as Paul plowed into something as solid as concrete. The collision sent me hurdling off him and into a nearby tree base. The hit was hard and jolted every bone in my body from the force. I struggled to get to my feet as the sound of a wolf whine filled the dead silence around me. It was cut off abruptly and I pulled myself up to see a shadowing figure with eyes of blood red now hovering over him.

I couldn't breathe or move as it stood and approached me. I knew running was a mute point, but I was willing to try it anyway. I forced my legs to move and began to run just as a hand grabbed me by the hair and yanked me backwards. I screamed at the feel of being helplessly pulled toward it.

"NO!"

The sound of high pitched laughter at my ear made my scream stop and my entire being begin to shake at _her_ words.

"Isabella... how I've waited to finally see you... To taste your blood on my tongue..."

I was yanked harshly around to face her, finally putting a face to the shadow with crimson eyes that had chased us. Her long chestnut colored hair draped thickly around her shoulders, nearly touching her waist. Her face looking like it was made of delicate porcelin and aged to its unique perfection. She reminded me of Alice, her stature taller and her lips fuller in difference. She possessed the timeless beauty that mirrored Rosalie's... only with the eyes of a killer such as Aro.

She leaned in close to me and I instinctively moved away, holding my breath as her nose grazed my collar bone. "Mmm... Divine..." She whispered. "You truly are delectable... How I wish I could greedily take your blood for my own... But it would be against Dear Edwards wishes and we can't have that."

"Who are you." I asked in a breath.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yes..."

"So curious we are." She replied, licking her lips. "But if you must know, I'm Violette. The newest member of Aro's family."

I scoffed at her use of words and felt her hand pull my hair tighter in response. "Something funny?" She bit out.

"Yes. You're use of the word, "Family". A bit careless, wouldn't you say?"

"We are a family in Italy. We watch out for one another. Much like the wolves..."

I felt her release my hair and gasped as I moved back from her. "You're nothing like the wolves."

"Different hungers and appetites maybe... faster..."

I scoffed again and met her crimson blood red stare.

"Edward has told me all about you. I have to say that I'm surprised he is willing to go through all this trouble to claim you."

My reply was harsh as my fear began to be replaced with hatred. "I'm already claimed."

"Yes... I can smell him on you... Funny to me that you favour the wolf."

I pressed my back up against the large tree behind me and watched her as she glanced toward Paul, who hadn't moved from the ground.

My eyes began to sting with the threat of tears, but I quickly held them in. I knew they could sense the pain and what a thrill it was for them to inflict it. I was gonna try like hell not to give her the satisfaction.

"Tell me... what is it about your kind? You humans can be so fickle? Straying from this one to that one and then changing your mind. I've had the pleasure of getting to know your old flame and while he may be a bit intense at times, I simply find him insatiable. It's no secret that he wouldn't give you the carnal desires you wished for while you were still human... what a shame... you missed out."

"Lucky you..." I bit back, my tone sarcastic and unapologetic.

"Do you not know the insatiable appetite of a vampire? It is truly something to experience."

"Nothing compared to that of a wolf..."

"You have wit about you. Have to say I like that. Who knows, once you're returned to Italy with Aro and inevitably changed, we just may be friends, you and I."

"You're real sure of that... aren't you?"

"Why yes... Yes I am."

"Fool." I snapped at her, earning myself a good slap across the face. The force of her blow enough to make me dizzy.

"Now Now... We can't be mouthy." She scorned. "Where are your manors?"

I sucked in a sharp breath as I raised my head to look her square in the eye. "I have none for a killer like yourself."

"Is that so?" She replied, her translucent hand coming up to touch my face. "Shall we teach you some?"

I saw the blood on her fingertips as she pulled her hand away and her eyes became fixed on the droplets that ran down her hand. Like a heroine addict who delicately held his last fix with shaking hands. Her eyes were clouded with blood lust when they met mine again.

"Maybe Edward would be willing to share?" She asked. Her small tone reminding me of that of a pleading child.

"He won't. He'll use you in this game tonight and then destroy you later when you no longer serve a purpose to him."

"I don't recall Edward telling me you were so mouthy. He painted you to be more of the submissive type." She replied, her gaze still locked on the blood that had now run down to her wrist.

"Things change."

"Indeed they can. Now tell me... is your wolf boy going to be joining us anytime soon?"

I steadied myself before I offered my reply, not willing to let her see that she had found my weakness... Jacob.

"When he's done ripping apart your 'Family'... He'll come for me and finish you off, too."

She gingerly licked the drop of blood that had now run down to nearly her elbow. The look on her face like someone had just injected her with her high of choice. "Mmm... delicious... Now who's sure of themselves? Tell me... do you think your wolf will take you if I change you here and now? Do you really think he'll come for you then?"

"... Even Then..."

I began to wonder where she came from as I watched her circle me. Her eyes never straying far away from mine. I began to wonder how she had been lured into this madness. Who she was as a human...

"Who are you really?" I asked in a breathy tone.

"I told you ..."

"No... you told me your name and who you were to Aro. Who are you... who were you...?"

She stared at me long and hard, almost as if she didn't know how to answer the question herself.

"It irrelevant." She soon snapped.

"How so."

"It does not matter who I was then."

"Did you work for Aro?"

"No... if you must know... I was just your ordinary every day college girl... out on the town one night..." She sighed, her tone switching to that of resigned reflection instead of bitter hatred now.

I grew quiet as I tried to imagine her then, seeing in my mind what she would have been like with warmth and blood running through her veins. The picture my imagination painted was beautiful to see and I became even more curious.

"And then..."

"Enough." She demanded, stepping closer to me in the blink of an eye.

I chose a different distraction and went with the screaming voice in my head that told me to keep pushing her to talk.

"Have you ever met Edwards family?" I asked.

"He doesn't associate with them and besides, Aro has provided us with real family now."

Her utter devotion to such a sadistic and vile creature made my stomach churn and left me physically sick. Despite that, I continued...

"What about his father... Carlisle? Or his mother... Esme?"

"What about them." She hissed angrily. "They do not wish to be part of us... that is their choice."

"Is it? Or is it Aro's?"

"What nonsense are you spewing now?" She hissed.

"You're Aro's puppet. He controls the strings... every move you make is already known... all part of his plan to get what he wants. Have you ever wondered where that leaves you in all this?"

"I will be by Edwards side and he has assured me I will get that which I seek." She hissed, her eyes narrowing into slits of anger.

I saw the protectiveness she held over Edward and my mind began to put the pieces together... one at a time...

I studied her face a bit longer before speaking my realization.

"Violete... Violete... Violete Sanders?" I gasped, seeing the familiar beauty there that had once been envied by the majority of my Physiology class at J.U.

She had taken the course with Ryan and I back then and while I had never officially met her, I certainly knew of her. Her look became haunted the moment I said her full name, already giving me my answer.

"Correct." She replied.

"You... I mean... how..." I stuttered in disbelief as I stared at the now translucent face that once held color and life.

"You really want to know?" She hedged.

I managed a nod as she approached me.

"I was Ryan's high school sweetheart. We were together for... almost three years. We both got accepted into J.U. We made plans for the future, what our lives would become once we finished our nursing programs and then the first month of College, something about him drastically changed. He was angry all the time and we fought constantly... until one night, after a particularly daunting argument, I stormed off raging mad from his dorm and took a long walk to cool off in town. It was late... Too late for me to be alone..."

Her eyes met mine when she finished and my breath suddenly felt stolen from my body, as I put the rest of her story together in my mind long before she told it.

_No... No... He wouldn't... would he? _

"My mother had always warned me not to walk the streets at night... She would always fuss that it was too dangerous... Turns out she was right. I had no time to fight or react really... before I knew it... his teeth were in my neck and fire was pouring through my veins... something you'll soon share..."

I grimaced away from her, the story making me want to heave. Edward had turned her. He had taken her human life away and now she was here trying to take mine.

"That's why you didn't return for second semester. Everyone on campus thought you moved." I breathed.

"I did move ... to Italy."

I was sickened to think that Edward would be so masochistic as to turn her ... all in an effort to get me.

"You've been watching me, too?" I asked.

"Of course..."

"What's in it for you?"

"Eternal life... with the one I love..."

My throat constricted and I nearly choked as I tried to push forward the name. "Ryan...?"

Her eyes flashed to mine and the expression I wore must have been pitiful because she was in my face before I could blink again.

"You know something." She hissed furiously in accusation.

I kept my eyes on hers as I coldly told her the truth. Throwing it out at her like the physical blow I couldn't to wound her.

"Ryan's dead." I spat.

Her face crumpled in sheer agony then, as her hand came up to my throat. "No... SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!" She shrieked.

I shook my head once and her stone grip tightened, effectively seizing any and all breathing. "YOU'RE LYING!" She screamed and I soon felt her release me. Choking and gasping, I sucked in the air that my lungs desperately craved.

Her taloned hand clawed its way back into my hair as she harshly yanked me to my feet. I felt her nails dig into the exposed flesh of my shoulder. "You're lying!" She raged, dragging her nails down. The feeling like that of knives being raked through my skin. I screamed as the pain hit me and blood poured down over my arm.

"Tell me you're lying!" She hissed, her bloody palm now at my neck. "I will tear your flesh from your bones if you don't tell me everything you know."

I closed my eyes and clung to the only shred of hope I had to make it through this... The vision of Jacob... Of what I desperately wanted with him... it was enough ... more than enough to keep me going. I may only be human, but I would fight to the end.

"I'm not telling you anything!" I yelled back at her, seeing her face become a mask of pure evil.

Her nails tore into the side of my neck and I screamed out in agony as she raked them down. Blood now pouring like a rivers flow from the deep gashes she'd made.

"Okay then... I'll tell you something I bet you didn't know... Edward knew that you were meant for Jacob long before you came back to Forks for your dear old daddy, yet he still took you for himself... and you... like the fool you are ... took the bait and became unhinged without him. Yes... I know all about that time too... Diving into a bottomless black hole of depression and self destruction for months ... madly rushing to Italy to save him from himself ... little did you know you'd be better off now if you'd let him finish his conquest that day. Now look at you ... at my mercy ... And your wolf is nowhere to be found."

Tears spilled down my face as I listened to her hiss this truth out into the open. He had known all along... He had asked me to marry him anyway... Knowingly put Jacob through hell on earth without me, forcing him to nearly self destruct and nearly kill his Alpha... his brother... his friend.

I had been wrong all along ... For Edward Cullen had no soul.

I felt her nails leave my flesh as she circled around me, her eyes greedily drinking in the blood that poured from me with a lust that was almost tangible.

"Nothing to say?" She taunted.

"You bought into Edward's whispered promises and tall tale dreams of eternal love with Ryan... who is now probably nothing more than ashes... a purple vapor... He has used you for his own game all along, like a meaningless and insignificant pawn. He's taken your very humanity from you... your future and livelihood... and left you with nothing and your ignorant enough to think you still have the upper hand here. Stupid enough to think that Jacob won't find me... Delusional enough to believe that he won't rip you apart when he does and pile your remains with the cindering ashes of your love... So who's the real fool?"


	31. Chapter 32

**A/N: There will be another chapter posted Sunday evening. :) As always... happy reading and thank you for all your support!**

**CHAPTER THIRTY - TWO**

I will love you till the breath within me ceases...

Till the pain becomes too much for me to withstand...

Till my weak and feeble human body surrenders to the looming darkness that pulls me under...

I will love you even then...

When submission becomes my only option...

When pain is my only reality...

Till then... Even then... Your name will be the last to touch my lips...

Your warm arms will be that which I crave...

Your warm and bright smile will be what my minds eye will see...

I will forever favor the fire of thee...

**(BPOV)**

I knew the furious blow of her wrath was coming. I had awoken the demon that dwelled within her with my words. Her hit was enough to knock me to the forest floor, my head reeling from the force of her blow and my body shaking with the fear of what I knew she held in store for me. If only this was the worst of it... If only this wasn't just the beginning.

"You should have kept your mouth shut!" She menacingly hissed, hauling me to my feet, only to knock me back down with another hard slap, making consciousness hard to hold onto.

A small voice within me spoke as I struggled to get away from her.

_Don't you quit... Don't you dare give in... You fight to hold on..._

I felt her taloned hands shred my jeans as she pulled me back to her by the leg. Her grip enough to shatter bone. I screamed and struggled fiercely as she pulled me. My efforts futile, like swimming against a rip tide you couldn't find your way out of, or battling the waves of a raging sea, knowing it would only be a matter of time until your breath ran out and the water would claim you.

The voice within me came back and I clung the words it spoke.

_He's coming for you... He's coming for you... He never quit on you... Don't you quit on him ..._

"Not so mouthy now are we?" Violete taunted.

I kept quiet and focused on just breathing... In and out...

Just keep breathing ... just hold on long enough...

"Lets play a game... shall we? If you run fast enough... who knows... maybe you'll escape... or better yet, run straight into the arms of your sweet and precious wolf? Willing to try it? Feeling lucky?" She hatefully taunted.

I sucked in a long breath and glanced up to see her red eyes glint with peeked interest in her own twisted challenge.

"Why?" I snapped. "So you can catch me faster than I can blink? You forget, I know more about your kind than most ordinary humans. Your get off on torture. It's a sick thrill for you."

She smacked me again and I felt my lip split from the extraordinary force of her hand.

"If that's the case..." She hissed. "Why don't you indulge in the perks our kind posses. Do you not wish to live forever? Do you not wish to be one of us. Or is it that your wolf would no longer desire you then that holds you back?"

My mind suddenly ran with the memory of the words Jacob had spoken to me after the newborn battle with Victoria. His simple reply after my rejection...

... ... ... "Maybe even then..."

The memory caused my tears to spill down my face and I rose slowly to my feet to answer her.

"I used to want to be you. Used to yearn for that every day when I was with Edward... to be like him... forever frozen in time... never changing so I would live young with him for Eternity... Now I know what I was giving up... "

"Very unfortunate that you now feel that way. At least if you still desired the change, you would embrace it rather than fight it so vehemently."

The sound of a low whine from Paul as he staggered to arise made my head snap up. Violete lurched to her feet and darted toward him.

"No!" I screamed after her. "Don't... Please."

She stopped and turned back to me, her look unreadable. "Do you have some sort of attachment to him as well?"

I walked toward her, my steps slow and weary. "I do... to all of them... They're ... my family..."

Her gaze shifted to Paul Briefly before settling back upon me. "Family?" She questioned. "I was told you had betrayed Edward for your wolf. Left him for the enemy he loathed?..."

I shook my head slowly and watched her gaze grow angry, as I took a cautionary step back, fearing she would strike me again and that I wouldn't be so fortunate as to resurface from it this time.

Her next question was asked through a loud hiss. "Who are you to the Alpha that Edward has told me so much about?"

My eyes met hers as she further approached me. Her face twitching now with rage.

The still small voice within me edged me forward... _Tell her... Tell her ..._

"I'm. His. Imprint." I stated.

I watched her face become suddenly still and the rage slip away from it. Her eyes unfixed as she stared past me, a glowing red hue to them in the moonlight.

"No..." She hissed. "He promised me you were of no real significance to the Alpha!"

"He lied..." I whispered.

"This can't be... You're... You're the Alpha's chosen one... NO!" She shrieked.

I scrambled back away from her, falling down next to Paul as she shook with fury. I felt Paul shift his weight, so his head was laying on my lap. I inched myself ever further into him and let his warmth seep into my cold body. His breathing was shallow and I feared he wouldn't make it if this carried on much longer. I couldn't hold back the tears that came with endless supply as they streamed down my cheeks. One stupid young decision had changed my fate forever.

I watched Violete pace back and forth. Her hissing growing louder as her red irises searched the night.

I soon felt a warm muzzle brush the gashes along my neck and I winced. Paul curled himself around me and I didn't fight his warm wolf embrace as I laid there with him. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

He huffed and I felt my eyes grow heavy, the cold and beating had ravaged my body and I was beginning to lose this fight.

_Hold on... Hold on..._

My eyes were only closed for a brief moment when I heard another whine leave Paul. I fought the heaviness until I couldn't, my eyes becoming too heavy to keep open. I was too tired to hold on...

Another nudge from Paul had my eyes struggling against the weight of heavy lids. I knew what he was doing and it killed me all the more that he was trying, even in his injured state, to help me.

I soon saw Violete approach us and I clung to Paul, foolishly thinking if I could just hold onto him tight enough, she wouldn't take me away again. She would let me be. Call it childish naivety... I called it hope... my only shred of it now remaining.

Paul snarled when she reached for me. His wolf form vibrating with rage the closer she got to us.

Violete stopped where she was and let her hand fall. "I have been deceived." She lashed out. "Edward will pay dearly for that and unfortunately, so will you. Killing you will teach him not to use those who hold the object of his obsession."

I felt Paul fiercely struggle to get up and the effort made my heart break for him.

"I wouldn't pup..." Violete warned, her hand raising in defense.

I moved without thought and threw myself over him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his fur. "Don't..." I pleaded with him. "Please..."

I wasn't above begging if that's what it took.

Paul huffed and struggled anyway to gain solid ground. I began to sob aloud and tried to keep him from pushing onward. But Despite my efforts, he was determined.

I greatly feared she would kill him without a second thought. Violete raised her stone hand and I screamed just as a blur of grey fur flew past us and an ear piercing shriek came from her.

I heard the violent roar rumble through the forest and my eyes settled on the granite hand that was now clutched in the muzzle of a grey and familiar wolf. The remaining moonlight casting shadows around it as it stalked forward. I held onto Paul as tightly as I could as Violet ran with lightning speed toward it. The wolf roared and leapt, meeting her mid air. The collision loud and like thunder as they fought.

Paul pushed himself up, struggling all the way until he was securely back on four legs. He took a stance in front of me as I heard another ear shattering cry come from Violette, seeing her now pinned beneath the grey wolf, who had ripped her other granite limb off, leaving her at it's mercy.

"You can't destroy me!" Violette hissed.

The wolf roared in fury and sunk its teeth into the side of her stone neck, effectively silencing her shrieks. I looked away as Violete was savagely ripped apart, feeling my stomach churn for the tenth time tonight. I fell to my knees there as I heaved, my stomach emptying itself of any and all contents it held.

She was gone... and I was still here... still alive... with a beating heart...

The relief that washed over me made me dizzy as I slowly stood and turned to see the one responsible for saving my life.

Leah Clearwater now stood naked before me. Her eyes piercing through mine. I took a tentative step toward her and saw her eyes asses me once before she spoke.

"You okay Swan?"

"Leah...?"

"In the flesh." She half smiled, gesturing down to her naked form.

"You saved... my life... "

Her response was simple and heart felt. Something I hadn't been expecting. "You're family. It's what we do."

The forest suddenly erupted with loud howls and Leah's form began to Blur, erasing her fleshly body for that of silver fur. She moved quickly, nudging me back toward Paul and then turning toward the West, snarls pouring from her as she went.

Paul's bellowing howl that followed sent chills down my spine. I could hear the sound of frantic hissing as the approaching dawn began to shed light on the forest. I held my breath while my eyes searched high and low...

The hissing suddenly stopped and a furious roar took its place. I whirled around just in time to see Alice running towards us, her speed causing her figure to blur. In a flash, she was falling to her knees in front of me.

"Bella... I'm so sorry. Please don't let him kill my brother." Her golden eyes were burning bright as she stared into mine.

Paul barked harshly at her, baring teeth and a low growl creeping out from him. The sound of Carlisle's hiss cut through the forest.

"He is still my son." He snapped.

I moved away from Alice, walking ahead of her to see a large black wolf soon appear. His stature strong and familiar. My eyes met his and my breath caught in my throat, tears now blurring my vision of him as realization struck me.

Sam...

He stalked angrily toward Carlisle. His look as dark, vile and brooding. Carlisle took his defensive position and they began to circle one another in menacing fashion. Either one of them ready to spring at a moments notice. Alice ran toward Sam in a blur of movement. She flew through the air in a powerful leap and landed on Sam's back mere seconds before he lunged for Carlisle. Sam thrashed furiously, and Alice's hands dug into his back as he tried to rid her.

Paul bolted from beside me to Sam's aid. The force of his paws nearly shaking the ground beneath me as he went for him, like the after shock of an earthquake.

Paul tore Alice off with snapping jaws and rolled with her twice before she wrapped her vice like arms around him. I screamed in terror as I watched her try and crush him. Sam lunged and caught one of her arms in his powerful jaw. His head shaking back and forth profusely as he ripped it off. She shrieked and fell to the forest floor. Sam tossed the appendage far off into the trees and there were soon three more wolves joining them... then four... and five.

None of them I recognized and I could only assume they were the elders, their coats of fur thicker and appearing to be longer than the others. They all stood behind Sam in familiar formation. The look of it, reminding me of when the pack used to be his... He had found Sam the wolf and healed Sam the man in the process. A tear ran down my cheek for him. For all he'd been through and all he had conquered.

Where was Jacob and the others?

Esme was suddenly at Alice's side, her eyes wild as she looked to Sam. "Please... Show mercy on her." She begged him. Sam didn't move, he kept his stance right where he was. He was unmovable it seemed and it spoke volumes to me for his tolerance for them. He had none now... After all he'd been through... I couldn't blame him. My heart went out to Alice, knowing that she had never done me harm, or caused intentional ruins for me. But my loyalty was no longer with the Cullen's and it would remain that way.

Carlisle's words were pleading when he addressed Sam. "She is only protecting what has always been family to her..."

Sam huffed loudly, though he did not move. His sturdy stance remaining and seemingly untouched by their plea's. I felt my body shake and my heart begin to pound as I searched the dense trees for any sign of new movement, anything that could be Jacob.

Paul came back to my side, his eyes scanning the tree's and then settling back on mine.

Alice grew silent as she looked my way, her golden eyes appearing to be filled with regret. I lowered my head and turned into Paul, unwilling to hold her stare. I leaned on him for support, my body beginning to weaken from the beating earlier. A low rumble vibrated through him, causing me to glance up and follow his gaze deeper into the forest. The Sun was beginning to shine through as daybreak was now fully upon us. My eyes squinted to see the rest of the pack now running for us. My eyes took them all in, picking out Seth first, who was now running in unison with Leah. The sun hitting their fur as they all closed in around us, taking a predatory position ahead, like a wall of protection.

I kept my eyes fixed in the direction where they had emerged from, waiting for my russet wolf to appear. I watched as hissing broke out from Carlisle.

"Where is my son!" He raged to Sam.

Sam roared in reply. The sound deadly and powerful. I pushed off Paul and moved forward, my steps slow and shaky as I desperately continued to search for him.

Jacob...

I tried to keep my composure but was unable to stop the fear that struck me as Carlisle screamed at Sam. "Tell me where he is. What has he done to him!"

I took another few steps forward and felt my legs give out. I began to let the fear take hold of me and my tears spilled freely while I waited for my wolf to return to me. The voice within me speaking in a hushed tone as my body slowly succumbed to the weakness that had been looming for hours on end. Sam's voice broke through the darkness and I felt myself being lifted, desperately I tried to fight the pull of the heavy darkness that tried to drown me. It was suffocating and frightening to feel as if you were drowning on dry land. I was aware of only Sam's voice and clung to it like a life line for as long as I could. Anything to keep the darkness away. Anything to keep my head above water in this thrashing sea.

_Hold on... Just hold on..._


	32. Chapter 33

**A/N: Hello again everyone. This is a shorter chapter but fear not because I will be posting two new chapters throughout this coming week! Happy reading :-)**

**CHAPTER THIRTY - THREE  
**

**(BPOV)**

My body fought hard against me as I tried to resurface from the suffocating darkness. It was heavy and unrelenting and though I struggled against it, I was unable to keep the veil of night away.

"Emily!" I heard Sam yell , barely clinging to consciousness. "She's lost a lot of blood."

Strong arms released me, laying me down on a cushioned surface somewhere. The smell of metallic copper strong in the air around me. I could feel hands on me as the veil of night crept in, seeping through every corner of my mind, and stealing away any conscious thought or memory.

"Bella... Bella..." Emily's hushed voice next to me.

I wanted to respond to her, but couldn't... My voice seizing as my body forced me into unconsciousness.

**(Day 1) ...**

**(Day 2) ...**

**(Day 3) ...**

My head began to pound and my body became sweltering hot, as I tried to claw my way back to the surface from my body's forced submission. My head began to throb all the more when light flooded in around me. The rays harsh and blinding as I slowly opened my eyes.

I slowly squinted against the harsh daylight and sucked in a sharp breath, feeling dizzy and disoriented. I could feel the heat wrapped around me like fine silk as I slowly moved, trying to take in my surroundings.

Where the hell was I?

My question was seemingly answered with a whisper from beside me.

"Bells..." The husky voice called out.

I felt warm arms unwrap themselves from my midsection as I sat up, glancing down to see the many bruises that lined the ivory skin of my arms. Their hand printed shadows angry looking as they stared back at me. I reached up to feel the bandage that graced my neck and shoulder, turning and wincing from the aches in my body, and feeling like I'd been dropped from a cliff. I placed my feet shakily on the cool floor beneath me just as the whisper came again.

"Bells..."

I lifted my gaze to see Jacob knelt in front of me. The backs of his fingers caressing my cheek as my eyes met his. The fog in my head lifted at his simple touch. His eyes were glossy and red rimmed as he drank me in. His look intense like he was memorizing every delicate feature on my face. Looking at me as if he was just seeing me for the first time with eyes anew..

I tried to rush to my feet, to wrap my arms around him and hold the tangible proof that he was real. For the days of the endless darkness made me believe he could vanish and that this would turn out to be just a damn illusion my mind had played out for me. I stumbled in my hurry to stand and reach him. My feet getting tangled along the way.

Jacob caught me and pulled me to him. His embrace strong and shaky as he held me.

"Jacob." I gasped, tears welling up and spilling over as I inhaled his scent and basked in his embrace. "You came back to me..."

I felt him pull back and cradle my face, his warm hands on my cheeks and his eyes still checking every feature on my face, as if he were studying me.

His thumb gently brushed the cut on my bottom lip. His touch as delicate as I'd ever known it to be.

"How long have I been-?"

"Three days honey..." He replied, his voice strained when he spoke.

"Charlie? Where is he?"

"He's home, Bells. Safe..."

I breathed a sigh of relief, burying my face in Jacobs chest and feeling grateful to know that my father had been spared in all this.

"He's been by to see you every day... How much do you remember?"

My mind ran wild with the memory of Ryan shoving a gun into my fathers back... The Cullens... Violete.

"Everything..." I breathed to him, a shutter making its way up my spine from the memory of it all. "Charlie... he knows everything now? Right? I mean... with me out for three days... how... how did you explain it all... he must have a million questions. I should go to him... talk about it with him."

I moved away from Jacob and glanced down to see I was dressed in one of his T- shirts. The length making it more like a night gown for me.

"Bells... You really should take it easy..."

"But... Charlie must be beside himself with all this. I should be there to explain everything." I sighed, my voice becoming thick with emotion as I thought of all the times I'd lied to him about everything. Would he ever trust me again?

Jake's words were kind and understanding. "We'll talk to him together. When you're up for it? Don't push yourself ...Please..."

His strained tone had me back pedaling and turning to face him. "I just don't want him to feel like I abandoned him."

"He doesn't. He knows there's a lot to discuss and I assured him we would when you were better."

I sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling my head still pound with the worse kind of migraine imaginable.

"My head is killing me." I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"I'll get you something to take. You should try to eat something... Toast?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

He offered me a smile and I returned it, but it wasn't my Jacob's smile and never came close to touching his eyes. I sucked in another sharp breath as I thought of how hard this must have been on him. Three days probably felt more like an eternity is his mind.

A soft knock soon came to the door and Emily peeked her head in.

"I heard you were awake. How do you feel?" She asked, sitting down with me and touching my forehead in a motherly way.

"Tired and a headache from hell, but okay."

Emily's face lit up with a heart felt smile as she took my hand in hers. "You had us really worried there for a few days. We stayed with you here at Billy's, all of us would sit with you and hope you'd come around... and Jacob-" She paused and quickly adverted my gaze, her eyes misty when they met mine again. "He uh... never left your side... not for a minute. He would always be right outside the door here whenever your dad came over to sit with you. He was... scared for you, Bella."

I felt my heart beat painfully at her words, knowing they were accurate and how terrified I would have been if the tables were turned and Jacob had been hurt.

"I know... But I'm okay. Thank you Emily... For everything." I sighed, placing a hand on her round Belly. "You doing alright?"

"I am. Sam will be by later to check on you, too. I finally have my Sam back..." She whispered, a tear running down her left cheek. "And it's a wonderful feeling."

I hugged her and felt her gingerly return the embrace. "That makes me so happy for you... both of you."

She released me with a kiss on the cheek and a smile. "If you need anything... don't you hesitate to call me, you hear?"

"Promise." I obliged with a nod and waved as she slipped out of the room.

I couldn't help the small smile that graced my lips from Emily's words. Sam was back to being Sam and I was elated to hear that.

I ran my hands through my hair, feeling how sore my scalp was from Violete's harsh hand. I got to my feet and ventured down the hall to Jake's bathroom in order to get a good look at myself. My steps slow and cautious as I went.

I gasped aloud at the reflection staring back at me now. I was sickly pale, which made the bruises along my arms even more prominent. The gash on my lower lip looked worse then it felt and the bandages along my neck were constant reminders of Violete's nails shredding my flesh like butter.

I splashed some cool water on my face and cleaned up... brushing my teeth, trying to get some sense of normalcy back... even the smallest bit would help.

I paused by the mirror again, seeing the raggedness of my appearance. My body felt stiff and sore, every move hurt as I finished washing up. I noticed a clean T-shirt laid out for me when I went to dress and slowly pulled it on over my head. My senses were now bathed in Jacob's scent and my heart warmed from it.

It took all the energy I had left to brush out my tangled tresses and make my way back to Jake's room, feeling a bit more refreshed than before.

One step at a time...

I took a deep breath and felt a hand at the small of my back just as I reached his door, my eyes glancing up to catch his worried expression.

I took his hand and offered him the best half a smile I could muster. "I'm okay." I tried to assure him.

He didn't reply, he just stared at me, his eyes soon wandering to the bruises that lined my arms. I moved myself into him and whispered the words one more time.

"Jacob... I'm okay..."

He remained silent and leaned down, placing a kiss on my cheek and taking my hand back in his when we entered his room. He handed me the two tablets of Aspirin and a tall glass of water, which I drank down in seconds flat. I was parched.

"There's toast if you want it?" He offered, gesturing to the plate on his bed.

"Thank you. I am hungry."

I ate both pieces and couldn't help but notice Jacob watching me closely, like he was afraid not to keep a close eye on my every move.

I set the empty plate down and motioned for him to come sit with me. He didn't hesitate to join me and I took shelter in his warm embrace, my eyes growing heavy already. Jacob laid back and took me with him, my head coming to rest on his chest and being lulled by the sweet sound of his beating heart. I laid there in the silence with him, my mind racing with a hundred questions I wanted... needed to ask... to know... but was too afraid to get all the answers to just yet.

Where were the Cullen's now? Were they gone for good? What happened to Edward and Alice? Did Ryan's Father know what had happened to his son?

"Bells?"

"Yea..."

"I love you."

I nestled in further to him, my reply coming in that of a whisper. "I love you, too Jacob. Thank you... for coming back to me."

His hold on me tightened with his sincere hushed reply. "Always honey..."


	33. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER THIRTY - FOUR**

**Eight hours and sixteen minutes felt like fucking eternity...**

**... 39,680 heartbeats ...**

_Please open your eyes for me._

**Twelve hours... Twenty - Six minutes... **

**Antiseptic and bleach now strong in the air... Mixed with hushed tones and worried words from the other room.**

**... 59, 675 heartbeats ...**

_Please say something... Even a whisper... Something..._

**Twenty - Two hours...**

_Bells..._

**Twenty - Nine hours... Twelve minutes.**

_Honey... Please..._

**Thirty - six hours...**

_I need you..._

**Thirty - Nine hours... Ten minutes. **

_On my knees... "Don't take her from me."_

**Thirty - Nine hours... Forty - eight minutes...**

**(JPOV)**

My gaze never left her for three days. I watched her every breath and heard her every moan of discomfort while I waited for her to open those big doe eyes and smile my favorite smile. I waited... and watched ... and prayed... and listened to every beat of her heart... Until she finally opened them... until she finally stirred in my arms.

I had pleaded with whoever was listening up there to give her back to me, making a deal with the up above to trade places with her if only allowed.

My mind would replay the moment I burst through my door to see her laying on my bed, bloody and bruised and perfectly still, Ruby red stained against pearl ivory white skin. Sam's eyes met mine as I took in his bloodied appearance. Her blood on his arms and chest. Sam saw the desperate look on my face as he explained. "She lost a lot of blood Jake. Emily did all she could. Bella's strong... She'll make it through. I'll handle things for a while?"

I nodded once, feeling my throat nearly close.

"Some of the elders are tending to Paul as we speak." Sam added.

I nodded once more and went to her side, Emily picking up bloody towels and beginning to sob with them in her hands. Sam rushed to her, taking the towels, and hushing her cries in the other room.

I had been too late... Not fast enough... Not protective enough... I'd failed her.

I was afraid to even touch her at first, she looked so damn fragile, delicate and shattered laying there. The bruises that marked her arms were a shade of deep purple and I cursed under my breath, wishing I could somehow resurrect that demon, only to have the pleasure of slaughtering her myself all over again. I wanted her to pay for what she'd done to Bella. Seeing her like this made me want to set each and every one of them on fire. Tradition and treaty be damned, not that it mattered, they'd broken it when they crossed over here for Edward anyway.

By the second night, I was teetering on the brink of madness. Bella remained perfectly still. Her rising and falling chest being the only sign that she was still with me. Emily and Billy and Charlie had all been in with me, watching her and offering words of comfort, though they were of no solace for me.

I hadn't slept or eaten in 48 hours and my mind began to play tricks on me, the heavy layer of guilt beginning to over rule sane thought and push me into thinking that she'd never believe me to be her protector again... That her faith in me would dissipate from this.

By hour thirty-one, I had lost my grip on numb and started to feel the raw turmoil seep in through me. I missed her voice so fucking much that my insides hurt. Sam wandered in just then, to see me on the verge of losing my shit. His words were kind and true but the guilt I felt wouldn't allow me to receive them.

"Don't do that." He sighed.

"Do what." I replied, despondently.

"Blame yourself. You did all you-"

"Don't say it!" I snapped, my stomach churning violently from the unwanted images that played fresh in my memory of all the different ways that fucking leech had tormented her. If it weren't for Paul...

"I'm sorry." Sam replied, his thoughtful gaze staying on Bella.

"Stay with her." I choked out, before bolting out the front door and to my garage, my stomach still tossing as my hands gripped the warn wood of my work bench.

That leech had thrown her around like a rag doll...

Left her broken and bleeding on the forest floor...

Left her to die...

I felt the tremors start and I screamed in rage, the anger ripping me up from the inside out as the wolf within tried to swallow me fucking whole. Immense pain shot through every muscle that tried to stretch as I fought it off with everything in me. As angry as I was, as much as I wanted to kill them all... Bella needed me more...

I grabbed anything I could get my hands on and began tearing apart the garage. Heaving tool boxes and tossing spare parts like they were mere sticks in weight.

The wolf clawed wildly at me and I felt the familiar pull to phase take hold of my being, making the effort to fight it off exhausting, tedious and painful. Heat chased with kerosene surged through my veins, nearly claiming me. I continued to fight it off, the wolf trying to dominate and angry to be reigned in.

"Jacob..." My fathers voice cut through the pain and torture of my thoughts, giving me something else to hold onto in the moment.

The tremors started to subside and I gasped, feeling choked and exhausted as I stumbled outside and fell on my knees next to my father's chair, my stomach giving into the violent churning as I heaved. Every muscle felt like it had been stretched beyond it's limit. My whole body sore from it.

I took a deep breath and felt my fathers strong hand suddenly on my shoulder. His grip tight and grounding and his eyes watchful of me.

I slowly got to my feet and met his gaze, his whisper strained when he spoke to me. "I would take this on for you if I could, my boy... If I could."

"I know dad... I know you would." I whispered, my voice hollow and empty sounding.

"Bella is a lot tougher than she looks... She will be okay... She will pull through this and come out stronger. The both of you will."

I helped him back inside and spent the remainder of the night on my knees by her bed side, bending heavens ear to hear me and bring her back to me.

When the sky lit the next morning and her tiny frame moved in my arms, I didn't dare believe it was possible, afraid to think it was a dream. When she moved again, I felt the tears sting my eyes and my throat tighten as I released her.

She had come back to me. My Bells had fought and come through.

I could now say that I knew what true torture was, for I would have gladly taken a violent beating three times over again, then watch the one I breathe and exist for fight for her very life, knowing there's nothing I could do but observe and hope like hell... beg... borrow... promise... steal ... whatever it took to help her through.

Every simple word she'd spoken and every heartbeat since, had now become precious commodities. Each one valued. Each one cherished to hear.

I had watched her ever so closely since this afternoon when she'd uttered my name in a gasp for the first time in three days. I never wanted to go that long without hearing her sweet voice again.

Some people have different versions of hell... The last three days had been mine. The kind of hell and torment that have your insides screaming for the simplicity or ordinary you once shared again. The kind of hell that made you remember to always value the important things in life, not to ever be so ignorant as to take them for granted or so blind and busy not to see the value in the simplicity of things.

I often found myself just staring at her, like she were a vapor that would fade away from me in a seconds notice if I took my eyes off her, or moved the wrong way.

The slightest of wince from her would have me jumping to my feet to help her or get whatever she needed. I could see her observing me and I knew she noticed the change. I was terrified to close my fucking eyes and wake up to her gone. So sleep was a delicacy.

I eagerly absorbed her every word, or her every small smile... The things that I had grown accustomed to, now I treasured.

I had yet to tell her anything that took place that night and she had yet to ask. I had now tasted the bitterness of undiluted hate and rage... had been pushed past the point of no return and I would wait until she was ready to hear all that I'd done and the monster that had been unleashed in the wake of it.

I would wait ...

Till then...


	34. Chapter 35

**CHAPTER THIRTY - FIVE**

**(BPOV)**

Three weeks had passed since that horrifying night with Ryan and Edward in the woods. Only twenty - one days since Violete had tried to take my life.

Each night since then had been sleepless and my insomnia was starting to make me unravel. I tried to read, tried to knit even... anything to keep my mind off that night... anything to keep the images from replaying over and over again... Like a horror movie on an endless rerun.

Jacob had been there for every restless evening, talking to me throughout the night and trying to keep my mind away from it the best he could. But there were times he would suddenly get a far and distant look in his eyes and I would take notice of his swift demeanor change. This had happened on more than a few occasions. It was the kind of distant look I had never seen him wear and the kind that told me he was struggling with the aftermath of all this himself. That buried somewhere just beneath the mostly calm and held together surface, was something much different.

I had yet to ask the inevitable questions that haunted my mind daily and Jacob had yet to tell. I knew him well enough to know that they lingered on the very tip of his tongue whenever yet another restless night fell upon us. Both of us seemed to want to open our mouths and spill the confessions or questions that hung in the air with such weight, it was nearly tangible.

I took notice that he was more silent than usual during the day and that his patrol shifts had been nearly cut in half now since Sam was back in the pack. He had kindly offered to help assist Jake for a few weeks, giving us time together, and while Jacob was grateful, I could see he was growing antsy. It was in his blood to run amongst the forest... To lead.

The wolf within wasn't fond of being housebound... Not in the least.

I had awoken early this morning, before dawns daylight, and cooked a huge breakfast feast for Jake and Billy. It was a way for me to keep my mind and hands busy for the time being. I was practically a full time live in resident with them now, and felt responsible to pitch in. I had done more than my fair share of cleaning lately, another mindless and time consuming distraction... scrubbing the kitchen floor on my hands and knees, organizing their food pantry, their cupboards, dusting and doing any and all laundry that needed washing. It was monotonous and a never ending task with the pack constantly in and out, dragging their muddy feet all across the clean floor, but it proved to keep me busy and busy was certainly better than the mind torturous alternative.

I was just setting the table for breakfast when Billy emerged from his room, showing off the same sunny smile he usually did every morning.

"You're up before the sun today?"

"Yep... you know what they say... the early bird gets the worm." I chuckled, serving him his eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast with his warm cup of coffee.

He paused, looking at me with a sincere grin and a nod.

"What?" I asked, a blush appearing on my snow white cheeks.

"Good to see you smile like that again. We sure have missed that around here."

I softly kissed him on the cheek and went on my way to retrieve the morning paper. My steps were halted when I reached the porch. Paul had just graced the bottom step, his smile wide when he saw me. He had been laid up since that night, and it was the first time I'd seen him since. Tears unexpectedly stung my eyes as I stared up at him... He had thrown his very life on the line for me, and I would be forever grateful to him for it.

I sucked in a sharp breath and blinked rapidly to rid the emotion that dare come spilling over soon.

"You look better." He sighed, his hand touching my cheek.

"You do, too."

"Hell of a lot better than the last time you saw me, huh?" He grinned, his cocky humor returning to him. I was thankful to see it.

"Yes... a hundred times better..."

He chuckled and leapt up over the last three steps to wrap me up in a huge hug. I eagerly embraced him, feeling the emotion return from his tight and welcoming embrace.

"Thank you." I choked out, feeling his arms tighten in his hold.

"Anytime... We're family... it's what we do..." He replied, setting me back on my feet with a wink and a matching mischievous grin. "I smell eggs?"

"Come in and join us?" I asked, gesturing inside to Billy sitting at the table.

"You sure?"

"Of course!" I smiled, yanking his arm till he moved in over the thresh hold.

"Morning Paul! Long time no see there boy!" Billy chuckled.

"I know! But you know me... never could stay away from a pretty lady and food when it's near by!" He joked, offering another wink my way. I rolled my eyes and went along to get his plate, a smile cresting my lips from his ego boosted humor. Another one of his character traits that was now firmly back in place.

"Jacob still sleeping?" Paul asked, shoveling in a huge mouthful of eggs and guzzling his orange juice like he hadn't seen food in weeks.

"Yea, he should be up soon." I replied.

"Well, in case I miss him, let him know I'll be out for patrol at dusk with Leah."

I took a sip from my coffee and nodded, feeling ashamed that I had yet to pay her a visit. According to pack rumor, she was sticking around through early Fall and leaving sometime after the Thanksgiving Holiday.

"I'll tell him. Is she gonna be home today?"

"Leah?" Paul asked, nearly choking on the whole piece of toast he had shoved in his mouth.

"Yeah."

"Seth said she had some errands to help Sue with... Why?"

"I should stop in and thank her for what she did."

"I did last night. She knows your thankful. No worries."

"It would still mean more if it came from me, you know?"

Paul thoughtfully nodded, wiping his chin with a napkin and pushing his empty plate away.

"I can take you over if you want?" He offered.

I momentarily froze... Truth was... I hadn't really left Jake's house in the time I'd stayed. I was afraid to step back out into the wide open of the outside world. I suddenly felt my heart leap into a sprint and my head swam with the unwanted memories of Violete's iron hand on my throat... her razor knife like nails shredding my flesh... her red blood thirsty eyes upon me...

"Bella?" Paul asked from across the table, his gaze watchful of my now ghostly expression at his simple offer.

"Uh... maybe... yeah... um... I'm not sure... I really should get started on a plate for Jake... He'll be up soon."

With that, I hurriedly made myself busy again in the kitchen. Though my back was turned, I could feel Paul's eyes burning a whole through me. I rounded a plate of food for Jake and set it aside for him. My head beginning to pound with an oncoming migraine... something else I'd developed since that night. Jacob was convinced it was stress and had pushed me to go to a doctor and get checked, but I refused. Being the stubborn woman I was and all at times. I would only drag my ass into the clinic if it was unavoidable and life threatening.

A warm hand on my shoulder had me startled as I whipped around with wide eyes to see a concerned look on Paul's face.

"You're not ok." His words were low and his eyes watchful of me when he spoke. I realized it wasn't a question he was asking, it was more of an observation.

"I just have a headache coming on." I lied.

He raised an eyebrow, giving me a look that said he surely knew better.

"I'm ... getting by..." I offered up.

"Getting by and okay are two different things, Bella." He sighed. "When was the last time you stepped outside this house?"

I ducked my head in shame, and shrugged my reply. Paul's hand tucked my chin back up, eyes meeting my own. I couldn't lie and I knew that nothing was secret in pack life. They were all privy to just about everything.

"Not since ..." I admitted, moving out around him to refill my coffee, silently wishing he would just drop it.

"Not since that night?"

I shook my head and glanced back over my shoulder to see his expression of genuine concern. The look of it coming from him catching me off guard. I, like everyone else, was used to the funny, egotistical, taunting, and at times, ass like demeanor he always put out there. This side of him was different. I had come to know now that there was a lot more to him than just what he projected sometimes. He was sincerely true and genuine at heart.

"You can't hide away."

"I'm not." I bit back in defense.

"Yes you are." He retorted, taking a stride toward me. His closeness appearing as almost a challenge.

"I'm not hiding!"

"Then come to Leah's with me... right now?"

I glanced toward the front door and back his way, feeling the knot in my throat and the hot tears come back. I wanted to leave but felt that I couldn't.

"Hiding won't make the memories or the fear go away, Bella. It'll just get worse. You're stronger than that."

"I try..." I sighed, sucking in a sharp breath and reigning in my emotions.

"You are." He affirmed with a small smile. "Talk to Jacob and take a few more days for you... But don't let this swallow you."

"I won't." I replied.

"I'll see you later." He said with a wave as he turned and said good bye to Billy.

I watched him leave and began picking up the table and refilling Billy's coffee, when his hand caught mine at the base of his cup.

"He's right, dear. Don't let that night take any more from you. Jacob and I... The pack... and your father... we're all here for you."

I gave him a small smile and sunk down into the chair beside him, clutching my own mug in my hands. "Jacobs... different..." I sighed, glancing over to see Billy set his morning paper down to listen.

He sighed heavily with his reply. "I know he is. I've noticed it, too. Never seen him so ripped up as he was that night."

"I feel like he's held back with pack responsibility because I'm here."

"It wouldn't matter where you were, dear. He'd be right there. Imprint or not. Seeing you like that shook him down to his core. I know the look he's wearing... I know because I've been there, and shared that very same detached look myself years ago... once upon a time when these still worked." He sighed, gesturing to his legs and chair.

"What should I do?" I asked.

"What you've been doing. Staying here and trying to better yourself a day at a time is a good start. The rest will fall in place when the time is right and together you two will sort through all this."

"Thanks Billy." I replied, seeing his grin and feeling thankful for his words of wisdom. It was times like this I needed them most.

"Speaking of your dad, Bella... He called here late last night... mentioned stopping over this evening for dinner. You ready to see him again?"

I felt my stomach grow knotted as I thought of how in the hell I was gonna explain this to him. He knew everything now, and I harbored immense guilt for lying to him the way I had.

His few visits since that night were brief and he and Jacob were pretty distant from one another whenever they came face to face. Charlie would simply give him an acknowledging nod and Jake would always give a respectful one in return, but there were hardly ever any verbal exchanges now. It tore me up to see my father look at Jacob with the eyes of a stranger.

"I'm as ready as I can be..."

"Your dad may be stubborn and set in his old ways, but his love for you is as real and true as it comes. He'll come around. Don't you worry. May take him some time after you tell him everything, but rest assured, he'll be alright... You two will be okay."

"Has he called you since last week?" I asked.

"No... Think he's a bit pissed with me... Best friends for decades and never told my own truth... that can be hard on a friendship."

"I'm sorry Billy..." I sighed, touching his arm.

"Your dad and I will always be friends. We'll find our own way to work through it."

The sudden creaking sound of Jake's bedroom door opening down the hall had us halting our breakfast conversation. He soon joined us, his look still tired.

"Morning son." Billy greeted him, while I fixed him some coffee.

"Morning." Jake yawned. "You cooked all this already, Bells?"

"Yeah... Couldn't sleep." I replied, setting his rounded plate and coffee down. I placed a kiss on his cheek and saw the small start of a warm grin on his face, but it soon slipped away when his eyes wandered to the marks on my neck.

Though they had begun to heal, they were still very prominent and the lines of them were now an angry pink against my ivory skin. I subconsciously pulled my hair to the side to cover some of them and got busy doing the many dishes piled in the sink, Paul's words from before still fresh on my mind.

I listened to Billy and Jake's chatter about the pack and how long Leah was staying. A small pang of insecurity washed over me, as I thought of Jake's earlier confession when I first came back home. They had slept together... they had meant something to one another at one time, despite Jake's dismissal of it being a physical need with no emotional entanglement. I knew he claimed to feel that way, but what if Leah didn't see it that way?

I shook off the thought and reminded myself to be grateful for what she'd done. She had played a huge part in saving Paul and I from Violete's deadly wrath and I wouldn't let petty bouts of jealousy or insecurity cloud the act of selflessness she had put forth. I was eternally grateful to her, despite whatever past she shared with Jacob.

Jacob soon set his plate in the sink and grabbed a towel, offering his helping hand. "You wash and I'll dry?"

"Okay... if you insist." I grinned and he returned it.

"I do."

"Paul stopped in earlier."

"He did? How's he lookin'?"

"Better." I replied, rinsing the last few dishes and handing them his way. "He told me to let you know he would be out on Patrol at dusk with Leah."

"Leah's switching shifts with Collin. She had to take Sue to an appointment. She'll be running noon shift with me today." He replied, putting away the last plate and glancing toward the stove clock.

I pushed down the ugly head of jealousy that threatened to now rule my thoughts and simply went on cleaning the sideboards and stove. Jacobs strong arm wrapped around my waist and his warm hand soothingly covered mine, stilling my movements and getting enveloped in his closeness. His lips brushed my ear when he spoke in a husky whisper. "Thanks for breakfast, honey."

I nodded and felt his hand leave mine to sweep the locks of long hair away from the vivid scars on my neck, leaving them open and bare to him. I froze again as he slowly brushed the backs of his fingertips against the marks. His lips coming to caress a soft kiss to them and sweeping delicately to the scars trailing down to my shoulder.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" He asked in that same husky whisper and I felt my insides nearly melt from the sound.

"A little..."

He stilled then, his arms coming back to wrap securely around my waist as he pressed his warm cheek to mine. "Your dad's coming over for dinner?"

"Yeah..." I replied, unable to hide the nervousness in my tone.

"What my dad said is true... He'll come around with time, honey."

"What if he never trust's me again?"

"He will. I promise..."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Cause a father's love is unconditional." He confidently stated.

I sighed and turned in his arms, seeing those deep brown eyes I adored stare back into mine. "Need me to do anything for you today while you're running patrol?"

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, the kiss genuine but restrained at the same time. He had been this way with me ever since that night. Always placing a certain amount of caution, like I was a glass figurine that would shatter if he clutched it too tightly. I sighed when he broke the kiss. His gaze growing serious suddenly.

"I do need you to do something for me."

"What?" I asked.

"When I get back from Patrol, come for a drive with me?"

I forced back the anxiety and nodded, despite the fear that rose up from within me.

He kissed me quickly on the lips once more and headed to shower, leaving my mind scrambling over what I knew would be the inevitable discussion we had both been cautiously avoiding. My insides shook as I thought of what he would tell me. I had prepared myself for the extreme, yet hoped for the opposite, but my gut instinct told me to brace myself. I knew deep down that it was time to spill everything and we couldn't keep it bottled up forever. Part of burying any painful memory meant trudging through the raw truth to lay it to rest.

Could this be part of the reason he was different... detached and somewhat guarded? I braced myself up against the counter as I pondered what I already knew could be the possible truth ... That he'd killed every last one of them. That no Cullen remained from the fight.

I felt numb as I thought of it. No gut wrenching emotion wracked me... nothing... emptiness... denial and delusion maybe... but utterly empty.


	35. Chapter 36

Disclaimer : I do NOT OWN any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content and or characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: Hello Everyone... Thank you again for all of your awesome reviews. You guys make my day! :-) Here's another chapter... HAPPY READING! Now on with the story!**

**CHAPTER THIRTY - SIX**

**(BPOV)**

I couldn't ease the numbness that remained with me as I waited for Jake to return from his patrol run with Leah. My mind wandering down the cob webbed corners of my life before with the Cullen's as my other family. How close I had come to marrying Edward... Spending eternity with him. I shuddered as I reminisced about all the moments we'd shared and the way I had mindlessly morphed my very identity around them for so long before.

Billy had gone to town with a close friend for the afternoon, giving me entirely too much alone time to think upon this. I decided that taking a drive may help me clear my jumbled thoughts and I was starting to genuinely miss my home in Forks. I knew Charlie would be working until later in the evening and thought maybe some down time in a good book would help pass the time.

I tried to embrace some sense of feeling on the trip there, but my insides remained cold. I had loved the Cullen's dearly at one time, and Alice had become like a sister to me, but seeing her attack Paul the way she had that night, had changed my perception of her entirely. I understood her stance in the chaos... she was protecting her family and ultimately threatening to end one of mine.

I knew things would never be the same with us again and now wondered if Alice was still out there somewhere with the others back in Denali, or if there were any others left to speak of at all.

I was startled out of my thoughts by a small knock on the front door. The delicate nature of it had me smiling to think it was Emily dropping in to say hello. Just as I started to head for the door, my cell phone lit up with an incoming call from Emily herself. I paused my steps and heard the knock come again.

I wasn't aware that my hands were shaking until I nearly dropped the phone as the ringing silenced and the knock came a third time. I swallowed hard and took the last few steps, my hand lingering timidly on the door knob. I cracked the door open just enough to peek out and see Sue Clearwater standing there. Her smile genuine and sincere when she offered it. I opened the door further and greeted her with a welcoming hug, feeling my relief to know it was just her and not who I had feared it may be.

"So nice to see you again, Bella!" She sighed with her embrace.

"You too." I replied, offering her to come in and sit with me.

"Seth and Leah are both out of the house for the afternoon and that left me with some spare time, so I figured a visit to you was due!" She smiled, touching my cheek. "You look good, dear."

"Well... thank you."

"How's your father been? Haven't run into him lately."

"He's been ... good... he's happy to be back at the station"

Sue smiled but it didn't appear as genuine as the first few and I knew where her thoughts were before she spoke them.

"Is he... really doing okay with... well... everything?"

I adverted her gaze and felt my immense guilt return for keeping my father in the dark for so long.

"I ... uh..."

Sue saw my struggle and patted my shoulder. "Your father is an understanding man... stubborn as the day is long... but still understanding."

"I hope so. He's been avoiding Jacob... Really hard to see him act so different around him lately."

"Give it some time, hun."

"Jake and I are gonna try to talk to him tonight... when he gets back from patrol with Leah."

Sue nodded with a knowing sigh and I felt my nerves settle into my stomach when she spoke again.

"Bella... I know Leah being back in town for a bit isn't exactly... comfortable for you? But please know she's genuinely happy for you and Jacob and has been in a rather serious relationship herself now for months."

I smiled at her tone of affection when she spoke of this. "I have been meaning to stop by and talk to Leah. I really wanted to thank her for what she did for Paul and I that night. If it wasn't for her... I think we all know things may have turned out very differently. I am forever grateful and would still like the chance to tell her this myself sometime soon."

"Of course, dear. You're part of the pack family and we're glad to have you. I know I've never seen Jacob as happy as he appears now. You coming back home has made a world of difference for him."

"For me too..." I replied.

She smiled and got to her feet, gesturing to her wrist watch. "It was really nice to chat for a bit but I'm afraid I have to run to the market before they close! We're out of just about everything at the house and you well know the demanding appetite of the wolves."

I couldn't help but laugh in response. "Yes... I do."

"Please Bella, don't be a stranger and you let me know if you need anything dear... anything at all."

I hugged her before she left and nodded in compliance. "I will and thank you."

It had really been nice to see Sue's bright and sunny smile, and her motherly affection made me miss that of my own mothers today. She had only been gone a half hour before Charlie came bursting through the front door, slamming it shut and startling me in the process. I jumped to my feet from the couch and met him at the door, thinking something was seriously wrong. I was greeted with his angry expression and found myself floundering for what to ask him.

"Dad? You're home early... What's wrong? Are you sick?"

"No..." He sighed, shaking his head and throwing off his jacket. "They sent me home because I can't focus on half of what I'm doing!"

I took a step back and wrapped my arms around myself, feeling my nerves get the better of me. I wasn't ready for this conversation and I had been ducking it now for three weeks, but like anything else, one can only avoid the inevitable for so long. I was out of that time.

"Why-?"

"WHY!?" He yelled, stalking out around me and throwing his hands in the air out of frustration. "I don't know Bella! I can't imagine why I would be distracted, or have anything that was troublesome on my mind!"

I followed him into the kitchen, feeling my stomach knot itself in eight different directions. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders, knowing that his anger was justified and I needed to hold my wits about me to endure it.

"Dad... I-"

Charlie grabbed a beer from the kitchen and chugged over half of it before slamming it down on the table. The rattling sound loud enough to momentarily silence me.

"I know you're upset-" I timidly tried speaking again.

"I'm way past upset. That was miles ago. I'm far more than just upset. You lied to me for years. Never told me who Edward really was... or should I say, what the hell he really was. For SHITS SAKE BELLA... YOU WERE GONNA MARRY HIM!"

I felt the tears sting my eyes but listened to him anyway. He spoke nothing but the truth.

"HOW COULD YOU LIE AND THEN TO THINK HERE YOU ARE DOING IT AGAIN WITH JACOB!"

"I'm sorry I-"

"What were you planning to do once you had married that demon?"

I went silent and watched his face grow from red to pale in record time as his eyes bulged.

"Bella Marie Sawn... Were you thinking of ... you... you were ... please tell me you weren't contemplating becoming what he is... one of them?"

My tears ran freely down my face as I watched his mouth drop open. My silence giving him his answer.

"I would of never... seen you... again..." He sighed, his look anguished as he met my gaze. "You would have left me... and your mother... thinking that something had happened to you and all the while you would of been with Edward..."

A sob left me when I tried to answer him. "I know what I did was-"

"SELFISH!" Charlie yelled.

I could only nod, my tears turning into full sobs as he continued to spill the harsh truth of my prior poor and misguided choices.

"DID YOU REALLY THINK SO LITTLE OF ME AND YOUR MOTHER? DID YOU NOT CONSIDER US AT ALL?"

He then finished his beer and immediately grabbed another, tossing the cap into the sink and guzzling it down. He shook his head when he placed the soon empty bottle on the counter, pacing back and forth and beyond fuming angry.

"You know... I'm far from perfect... I mean... hell... I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Letting you and your mother go without a fight being the main one, but I can't for the life of me understand how someone as bright as you are could make such a stupid decision as to throw your life away into the hands of a masochistic demon. I just... I... I don't even have the words."

He walked out around me and stormed off to the living room while I stayed in the kitchen and tried to gather myself before further approaching him. My emotions working against me and my chest tight with anxiety.

It wasn't long before he came back to further delve into his anger over what I'd done.

"I want you to tell me what you were thinking. Tell me why you would throw away your life... your family... your entire future for him?"

I drew in a shaky breath and met his heated gaze. "I know you're disappointed in me... You have every right to be angry. I did lie ... I made a horrible mistake and I wish there was a way I could go back and fix it or make it right, but I can't. I'm sorry..."

He stared at me long and hard. His look still fuming and his third beer already opened. He took a swig and pushed the rest of it away from him. A heavy sigh coming from him as he spoke to me.

"I haven't always been easy to get along with... or been one to express feeling that well... I screwed up with you mother that way years ago and I know I've done the same damn thing with you... So in case I don't say it enough... I do love you. Bella... You can't possibly imagine what losing you like that would've done to your mother and I. I never would've been the same. Not ever. One day, when you have children of your own, you will truly know what that kind of unconditional love feels like and maybe then you'll see just what you would've taken from me and your mother... Maybe... "

His words had my heart shredding and wishing I could turn back time. Charlie stood and glanced out the kitchen window, seeing the sun start to set.

"Is Jacob coming for dinner tonight?" He asked.

I frantically wiped my tears and nodded my reply.

"You two enjoy yourself. I'm turning in early for the night. I've lost my appetite."

He went to leave and I reached for him, catching his arm. He half turned back, his look of disappointment making my eyes blur with unshed tears again.

"Please don't shut me out... or Jacob... or Billy..."

Charlie huffed and shook his head. "Yea... Best friends for as long as I can remember and he fails to tell me what he was and that his son is not who he claims to be."

I shuddered at the tone he used when he spoke of them now. "Billy is still Billy... Still your oldest friend and Jacob is-"

"Dangerous!" Charlie huffed, his look cold. "And not someone I want you with... not anymore."

His words nearly knocked the wind out of me. "You can't mean that!" I cried.

"I absolutely do. He's NOT SAFE for you. I DON'T want you mixed up in any of this insane and dangerous bullshit, Bella. End of story. I can't make your choices for you. You're a grown woman now, Bella, but I don't condone it."

"Dad-" I sobbed.

"No... nothing you tell me is gonna make me see him as GOOD for you. All this time, I thought he was what was best for you and now... I feel like that was just an act. Who the hell is the real Jacob anyway?"

His bitterness had me desperate. I moved closer to him, my emotion making my words hard to get out. "I know this is all hard for you, but Dad... Jacob would never hurt me... He is still Jacob."

"NO!" Charlie yelled, "He's an animal, Bella. Why don't you ask Emily how well that turned out for her. Blamed that attack on an animal for years! The animal was her husband all along! I refuse to partake in the risk of that happening to you someday."

I shook my head, reeling to know that he had learned the truth about that, too. Charlie saw my shocked expression and headed for the stairs. "Good night." He yelled, slamming his bedroom door. The sound like a shock wave had hit me.

I slowly sunk down to the stairs and felt my heart shatter as my sobs shook my body. He no longer trusted me, and who could blame him for that? He was disappointed in me and worse, he was down right disapproving of my relationship with Jacob and becoming a stranger to Billy.

I sobbed harder as I realized he no longer thought of Jacob as family. His bitterness and anger from this had masked that affection.

I pulled myself up from the stairs when another knock at the door came. I wiped my tears and opened it to see Paul on the other side. His smile fading the minute he saw my face.

"Hey... what's going on?" He asked, taking a tentative step forward.

I shook my head and tried to bottle up any remaining emotion. Paul placed a hand on my shoulder and asked again.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Charlie." I cried, my tears getting the better of me. "He's not the same since that night. I don't know if he ever will be."

Paul wrapped an arm around my shoulder, his small embrace comforting. I sat on the porch steps with him and told him what Charlie had said. To my surprise, Paul listened and even offered words of advice and encouragement here and there. He informed me that Jacob had instructed him to let me know he'd be late for dinner because patrol had run long. I was thankful he came by. After all the fighting with Charlie, I needed a shoulder and he had been one for me to lean on.

"Your dads been through hell with this. He's bound to be pissed. But as much as he cares for Jake and Billy... I can't see him letting this destroy that bond."

"I don't know Paul... I fear it may..." I sighed, feeling his arm tighten around my shoulder..

"It'll be okay, Swan... Maybe if Jacob talks-"

"No..." I shook my head. "He doesn't even want to see him tonight. He's been avoiding him since and he said..." I paused, my words catching on the tip of my tongue, as I remembered that nothing was sacred in pack life and things slipped out all the time. If I told Paul what my father had said about no longer supporting my relationship with Jacob, Paul could phase and leek it out unintentionally. I couldn't take that risk. I wanted to talk to him first, not for him to hear it through pack gossip before he reached me. That would hit Jacob hard. He had nothing but care and profound respect for Charlie.

"I know what you're thinking and you're right. You shouldn't share it with me... wait for Jake. He should be coming here soon. You guys will figure this out. Try not to worry."

His words were comforting and I knew he was just trying to be kind for my sake, but my heart told me that worrying was exactly what I should do. That all this with my father was only gonna get a lot worse before it got better... If it got better.


	36. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER THIRTY - SEVEN**

**(JPOV)**

The harsh breeze was brisk and the feel of Fall's changing season was strong in the air as I ran to meet Leah for Patrol. Having her back with us over the last three weeks had proven to be a challenge at first. Her thoughts slipping to places they shouldn't and her apologies sincere and heart felt for it. Being privy to each other's thoughts wasn't always a bonus when it came to pack life. Some things should be kept to just yourself and not spread around to your fellow brothers.

Leah and I couldn't avoid each other, it was impossible. I was her Alpha... She was one of my own and had saved Bella and Paul from Violete that night. Her arrival had been un - expected and key to their safety. I owed her greatly for it. I cared for her well being just as much as any of the others. Awkward at first or not... it was my duty.

I arrived at the lumber yard to see her already in wolf form and patiently waiting.

_"Ready_?" I asked.

She huffed and arose from her waiting stance. _"Yea. Thanks for letting me swap shifts_."

"_No big deal."_

We took off for the East side river's edge. The sun shining brightly through the clouds as we ran.

_"How's Bella?"_ She asked.

_"She's ok..."_ I replied, my thoughts flooding with the memory of her and how timid she'd become at just leaving the house.

Leah read this from my mind and pitched in her two cents._ "Maybe she should get some help. A counselor or something."_

I huffed and glanced in her direction when we stopped by the river for a drink._ "And tell them what_?"

"_True... Hadn't thought of that."_ She laughed. "_Well she needs to talk to someone. I mean girls gotta get out of the rut she's in_."

Talk to someone... Yea...

We hadn't even talked yet...

This weighed heavily on my shoulders as we ran the border. Leah trying to gain ground and race me. Her light hearted spirit refreshing. I pretended to lag behind a bit and then passed her with a rush of wind.

_"You ass!"_ She laughed.

_"Hey now..."_ I chuckled in reply, whirling around to face her. "You should know better than to take me on."

"_Oh please... Ego much_?" She teased, stopping herself next to me.

_"I've always been faster than you. No ego here... just fact_."

"_So full of yourself. That hasn't changed_."

"_You have though_." I replied, glancing her way.

_"Me?"_

"_You seem happy, Lee."_

"_I am... it's nice to be back for a little while_."

_"So tell me about this guy that Seth talks about so damn much_?"

"_His name is Joshua and he's pretty awesome_."

The genuine tone she said this with made me know it was true.

"_Good_." I replied and took off for the West side. Leah running on my heels and a comfortable silence settling over us.

The hours passed and soon night was lingering just around the corner. We ran to the lumber yard where we were set to meet Brady, Jared and Colin for the trade of shifts.

"_They better not be late."_ I huffed Leah's way, glancing around the cluttered yard and waiting.

"_Meeting Bella_?" She asked.

_"For dinner... an important one_." I sighed.

Leah stopped pacing, turning her wolf form my way._ "Important_?"

I nodded once and explained. "_Charlie's having a hell of a hard time with all this. He's not himself... Hardly speaks to me or dad now. It's rough on Bells. She wants to get it all out in the open tonight. Have a real heart to heart."_

Leah's look grew weary. _"Have you thought about what this means for the two of you_?" She asked.

"_Charlie's stubborn, but I think he'll come around in time. I've known him all my life_."

_"Having to keep this hidden sucks. Trust me, I get it."_

"_You haven't told Josh? I thought you were serious with this guy?"_

"_That's exactly why I don't rush to tell him. He's never gonna see me the same. I mean..._ " She went silent for a moment, her thoughts growing eerily quiet and her gaze suddenly adverting mine.

I hedged her forward, wanting to know what the hell she was trying to say. _"What?"_

"_It's... really no secret that because of what I am, I can't have children. I can't give him that treasure in life. Why the hell would he stay? What man would want a woman with all this bullshit?"_

"_The right guy, Leah_." I huffed her way.

"_You mean the imprint wolf voodoo crap? I'll pass."_

"_Careful..."_ I cautioned, my eyes meeting hers.

She huffed loudly in response. "_That's different. You and Bella had something before Jake. You have loads of history. You've loved her since you guys were little. That's entirely different."_

"_True... But remember that if you tell this guy and he runs... than he's not meant for you_."

_"That's easy for you to say. You have Bella. Losing her doesn't plague your thoughts anymore_."

"_You couldn't be more wrong_." I bit back, my tone growing harsh.

Leah recanted and corrected herself. _"Okay, I shouldn't of said that, but you can protect her from that threat, Jacob. From the threat of the Volturi... what's left of them anyway. Does Bella know tha-"_

_"No_." I cut her off. _"And I wish I could keep it that way_."

She nodded once and sunk down on her haunches waiting with me for them to arrive.

"_I won't say anything but you need to tell her, Jacob."_

_"I will."_

"_You did what you had to. What you were born to. It's who you are_."

I turned and faced her, feeling like an ass for not telling her this before now. "_You saved them, you know. If you hadn't gotten there when you did-"_

The thought choked me as the vivid images of her blood on Sam came back to me.

Leah huffed and nudged into me. _"She's family. I know we've had our differences in the past... But you love her and she finally came to her senses. Saving her was no different than saving any one of you. And for what it's worth... I'm glad to see you happy now. I hope Bella knows that she has nothing to worry about. What we shared was... insignificant and driven by hurt... You're still one of the best people I know. It means a lot to me to know that you're leading Seth. I worry less when I'm gone."_

"_Thanks_." I replied, seeing her meaningful gaze meet mine._ "Seth has really grown this last year. He's more diligent ... make one hell of a leader himself one day_..."

"_What_? _What do you mean? One day? You're Alpha... are you thinking of passing it down?"_

_"Maybe someday. If and when Bella and I have kids of our own. One day..."_

Colin, Jared, and Brady were later than they were supposed to be and my temper flared a bit when Seth phased in to tell me they were lagging behind a bit. I told Seth to get ahold of Paul and give Bella a heads up about patrol running late for me. He agreed and phased back out as I mentally cussed them out for being tardy. OF all fucking nights...

They all soon emerged from the tree line and met us. I instructed them to stick to the East side and headed back with Leah. Her teasing nature returning before we broke apart at the town line of La' Push.

"_Come on Alpha! Bet I beat your ass their?"_

_"You don't know when to quit do you_?" I snickered back and took off like a bat out of hell after her. I had to admit she had become faster since the last time we ran and it stunned me a bit to find her keeping up with me easily and not lagging behind like most of the others would when I ran full tilt.

As it turned out, I did beat her there, but only by a fraction of time. I turned to her when she skidded to a stop, cussing that she had lost again.

_"You' been running more?"_ I asked, perplexed to understand where the hell this new found speed came from.

"_Not really. Just natural I guess."_

"_You're faster... a lot faster..."_

She huffed in pride and playfully nudged into me before taking off for her house. _"Better watch out Black, I'll be running laps around you soon enough."_

_"Yea... Yea... Don't bet on it, Clearwater."_ I replied as she ran off, kicking dust behind her.

I bolted for home myself and changed for dinner with Bella, which I was already an hour late for.

My father came home just as I was getting ready to leave, his look stopping my steps by the door.

"Bella here?" He asked in a low tone.

"No, she went home for a while today. Think she wants to talk over dinner with Charlie at their house."

Billy shook his head. "I'm not sure it will do you any good, son." He dreadfully sighed.

"Why?"

He sighed again and wheeled himself away from me.

"What are you not telling me?" I asked, following him to the kitchen.

"I got an unexpected visit from him at Sue's a while ago."

"I thought he was working?"

"He was... they sent him home, Jake. He's angry... real angry. As long as I've known that man, I've never seen him this mad, and I've seen him go through a lot."

I set my keys down on the table, intuition already telling me where this conversation was headed. It was something I'd feared and half anticipated, should Charlie ever learn the truth about me.

I met my fathers gaze and saw it there. The concern for me. He gave me a look I recognized well. It was the very same damn look he gave when Bella had agreed to marry that leech and when she'd run off to Jacksonville for two years.

"Son... I-"

His response was cut short when Paul came in through the half opened front door. His look mirroring that of my father's.

"You were with Bella?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I went over to tell her you'd be late... she's a mess, Jake. Her and Charlie really got into it."

"Fuck." I sighed, grabbing my keys and heading out.

"Jacob!" My fathers yell catching me before I shut the door. "Keep your head about you, my boy."

I sped over to her house, hating that she had dealt with Charlie alone. I hadn't been there. I had failed her again.

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my hand down on the steering wheel as I pulled in to her driveway, seeing her bedroom light still on upstairs. I cut the engine and heard Bella's yelling first. The sound of it strained and pleading.

"You can't say that! You don't know-"

"I know plenty!" Charlie yelled back. "I know he's not who he professes to be and he isn't safe for you!"

"Jacob would never-" Bella countered.

When I reached the porch, I heard Charlie's yelling escalate further. My insides reacting to the sound of him yelling at her. I took a calming breath and remembered what my father had said just before I left... keep my head about me...

I was about to knock when the front door opened and Bella's red rimmed eyes met mine. She ran down over the steps and into my arms, her petite frame shaking from her tears. I pressed her tightly to me.

"I'm sorry... I should've been here sooner." I told her.

Charlie's storming foot steps approached the open door and his face twisted in disgust when he saw her with me.

He rushed out over the steps and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her away from me and causing a low growl to spill from me. It was instinctual and I reigned it in the best I could.

"Get away from her!" He yelled, looking at me like I was now his enemy.

Bella pulled out of his grasp and begged him to see reason.

"Dad! It's still Jacob. Don't you see that!"

"You wanna know what I see?" He scoffed, taking a step toward me. "I see a young man I used to know who lied to me for years! As far as I'm concerned, I don't know who you are anymore, Jacob. But I can tell you this much, I don't give a shit how old she is, I don't want you with her. Not in my house!" He yelled.

I could feel it... the pull between man and wolf... The wolf beginning to mask the man...

"You claim you love her?" Charlie hedged.

"I do love her." I bit back.

"Then walk away. You really want her to end up like Sam's wife? Huh? Look what happened to her! You really love my daughter Jake? Then let her find someone who's ordinary! Not someone who could kill her if he lost his temper too close! As far as I'm concerned, that makes you no better than Edward Cullen was for her!"

His words struck me like a brick to the chest and my anger began to get the better of me.

Bella stepped in between us, seeing Charlie inch closer to me. I pulled her around and placed her protectively behind me as I addressed him. My words fueled by his ignorance.

"You know nothing about what I am. Nothing!" I spat. " I would lay my life out for her. She is everything to me. What happened to Emily was unfortunate Charlie, and Sam pays for that every fucking time he looks at his wife, but Emily loves him anyway, because she knows the heart of who he is. The same way Bella knows me."

"Do you hear yourself right now? Holy shit... so you're willing to place my daughter in harms way?"

"I would never hurt her. Not for anything in this world. You don't kn-"

"I do know!" He yelled, getting in my face. I took a step back and felt Bella's shaking fingers lace with my own. "I was there Jacob. I remember it all and I want her nowhere near this! Any of it! The Cullen's are-"

"NEVER COMING BACK!" I yelled, feeling the rage pour over me like liquid fire. I pulled my hand from Bella's and watched Charlie back himself up as I stalked forward. "I killed them... all but Carlisle and Esme. I tore Edward apart... piece by fucking piece and I watched him burn with the sick bitch who nearly killed Bella that night. I watched him cower and crawl for escape, trying to save his pathetic life and I took thrill in hearing him scream when I ripped him apart. I drew it out, wanting him to suffer and turning his own demented game on himself. "

I continued to stalk forward and spew the ugly truth...

"I tortured him and made him beg for his very twisted existence, but I tore his throat out anyway and then I moved on to Alice and finished her off. I watched them burn and piled the pieces of their remains in that heap of leech... Right there beside Jane and her brother Alec... Aro got away with his one good arm but I'll find him soon enough and rip him to shreds, too. Carlisle and Esme are banned from Forks. They can never step foot back on this land or my own without permission and it's a permission they won't be granted. They are the only ones who left that battle. THE REST ARE ALL FUCKING DESTROYED."

My hands were shaking as my tremors began with my confession. Charlie reached his front step and gripped the railing for support, looking like he might heave but I went on anyway.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bella. I'd kill them all again tomorrow and with great pleasure. He deserved to burn and burn he did. Maybe that makes me a monster... I don't give a fuck. I will always protect what is unequivocally mine. You know nothing of that commitment. You think I'm no different than Edward? If she had chosen that leech... if she had married him... He would have changed her into one of them. She would have hungered for human blood. Thirsted for it... She would have no longer been the Bella you raised. He had every intention of turning her into a cold and soulless demon. So don't you dare compare me with the likes of him! Not Ever!"

The tremors became over powering as I succumbed to the raging wolf that threatened to claw me up from the inside out. I moved away from them both and phased right there. A ferocious roar leaving me, as my paws hit the ground. The sound of the roar dying out when my gaze fell on Bella. Her wide eyed and fearful expression making me force some of that anger back down. I huffed and watched as Charlie stared at me in horror.

I saw Bella approach me, her steps slow and timid as she went. I could see her fear and it killed me to think that she may be afraid of me now. She soon reached me and Charlie yelled. "Don't! Bella!"

She ignored him and ran her small hands through my fur as I stepped forward and brushed her cheek with my muzzle.

"I love you..." She breathed to me. The sound of it strained with emotion.

Charlie looked as white as a sheet when Bella turned and spoke to him.

"I love him. No matter what he is, or what form he takes. He's still Jacob... My Jacob."

Charlie was silent as he went back inside, his eyes still wide. Bella turned and kissed the side of my head. "Phase back and take me home with you?" She asked, her eyes desperate. I huffed and retreated into the woods while she went inside and packed a bag. She emerged and gave me a pair of jeans I'd kept as back up at her place, for times like now when I'd shredded the ones I'd worn.

I tossed her bag in the back and headed for home with her. The ride was silent and though her hand took mine, I worried what she was really thinking. She now knew that I'd killed Edward and Alice.

When we arrived back at my place, it was dark and my father was no longer home. A note stuck to the door told me he had gone to the Clearwater's for dinner. I unlocked the door and felt Bella's hand retake mine when I turned on the light in the living room. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying and she looked lost. I took her bag from her and set it on the floor. Her stare fixed there.

She sighed once before reluctantly meeting my gaze. "I feel... numb..." She whispered.

I drew her into my arms, placing a kiss on her forehead and then her cheek. She leaned further into me and her lips brushed mine. The small gesture enough for my hold on her to tighten. I captured her lips, kissing her slowly and drawing a breathy and needy moan from her. The feel of her fingertips trailing my bare back and her tongue meeting mine had me removing her jacket and pressing her back to me. I ached to drink her in... to get lost in just her.

My hands roamed up her shirt, caressing the bare skin of her back and feeling her grind against me. She kissed me with abandon, her tongue caressing mine as her hands went to the buttons on her blouse. She released me and got flustered from trying to undo them all. I placed my hands over hers as she reached for the top of my jeans. Buttons went scattering to the floor as I ripped the offending shirt off her, seeing her eyes light with a lust and an audible gasp leave her when I drew her up in my arms. Her legs around my waist and her mouth hungrily seeking mine. I inhaled and could smell her sweet arousal as I laid her on the bed beneath me. The smell of her intoxicating... Alluring... all consuming.

I kissed her thoroughly before working my way down her perfect form. I reached in behind her and unclasped her black bra, eager to swirl my tongue around her pert nipples. I wanted to taste every inch of her, to feel her creamy smooth skin beneath my tongue. I could never get enough of her.

I ran my tongue down to the hem of her panties and eagerly stripped her of them. Leaving her completely naked before me. I trailed open mouthed kisses from her ankle to her inner most thigh, hearing her breathy cry when my tongue ran over her sweet wet folds. Her taste like a drug for me. She writhed and squirmed and moaned while I worked my tongue over her. Her erratic heartbeat and moans becoming like a bedroom hymn for me.

My name fell from her lips again and again as he back arched and her face flushed with beautiful rose color. The very sound of her was enough to have me rock hard and aching to be sheathed deep in her. To feel her tightly wrapped around me.

I pried myself away from her just long enough to strip off my boxers. She propped herself up on her elbows and watched me take them off. Her eyes roaming over me and her breathing ragged. I felt my dick twitch at the sight of her eye fucking me. My hands roamed up her body, caressing her hips and kneading her breasts as I settled myself between her naked thighs.

I hovered above her, seeing her eyes meet mine when I rubbed the tip along her slick folds. She brought her lips to mine in an urgent kiss, as I slid within her, feeling her wrap around me. I watched her intently, seeing her face flush with heated color as our bodies moved together.

I took my time with her, wanting to stay skin on skin close with her for as long as I could. Her breasts pressed against my chest and her legs wrapped around me. I was drowning in her and wanted to stay that way.

Her every sound, her every cry making me pick up my pace a little more. Her plea washing over me when she cried it. "Harder... please Jacob."

I inched her down further away from the headboard and trailed my fingers down to her sex, seeking and finding her sweet spot while creating a new rhythm with her.

"Ugh.. Jacob..."

Her body one with mine, sweating our confessions and getting entirely consumed in each other. Her climax soon rolled through her, leaving her breathless and her thighs trembling against me. She clung to me as I continued my relentless rhythm. Her cries of pleasure echoing through the house.

My pace became punishing and I watched her closely, seeing her eyes hold mine as my release hit me. I pulled her body flush to mine and felt her legs shake all the more when I stilled. Her fingertips ran through my hair and my head came to rest between her breast. Hearing the loud pounding of her heart against my ear.

I felt her kiss the top of my head just as my eyes closed. She was and would forever be mine.


	37. Chapter 38

**CHAPTER THIRTY - EIGHT**

**(JPOV)**

I slept through most of the night, only stirring once when I heard my father return home sometime later. The sound of the door shutting waking me only for a brief time before I dozed back off.

Around four in the morning, I woke up again and couldn't get back to sleep. My thoughts consumed with the angry words Charlie and I had exchanged earlier. It wasn't suppose to be this way... I didn't want Bella to ever feel like she had to choose between us. Taking my side was noble but it stood to only damage the relationship between them further and that was the last thing I wanted. I knew how damn much Charlie loved Bella and I would be a selfish ass if I tried to get in the way of that.

I slowly moved out from under Bella, and quickly dressed, soon making my way into the kitchen for some coffee, and pacing there, nearly wearing a hole in the old floor and pondering what the hell I could possibly do to sort things out with Charlie.

I understood his anger and his worry. Placing myself in his shoes, if I had a daughter, would I want her with someone like myself?

I shook my head and sighed because I knew the damn answer, as I grabbed my keys and threw on my jacket, quietly leaving the house and heading for Charlie's. I tried to think of a way to approach him with all this as I drove over, but every scenario I played out in my head would end with the two of us fighting.

When I reached Bella's street, I was surprised to see that Charlie's cruiser was gone. The house appearing to be empty. I pulled in and got out, waiting there for nearly an hour on his front step before he returned home. He wasn't in uniform and he looked to be pissed already when he got out of his cruiser, slamming the driver side door shut.

"Look Jake... if you're back here to fight some more, I really don't have it in me, just go home, alright."

I stood and moved out of his way so he could unlock the house, my heart heavy with how awful things had suddenly become with us.

I stayed silent for a minute as my mind went back to a time when this same man had been behind the anchored friendship that held my father and us kids together after mom died. Charlie had done anything and everything he could to help during that difficult time. He had taken me and my sisters to school, made sure we had food in the house and even paid a few bills when he could. Just to keep us a float when my fathers grief had nearly consumed him.

I swallowed hard, feeling my throat constrict at the memory.

Charlie turned back when he unlocked the house, seeing that I was still there. His look still cold and I had to admit, it cut me open like a knife. Truth be told, I'd much rather he had just punched me than carry on like this.

"Jake... I said go home. There's nothing left to say, alright?" He sighed heavily, proceeding to enter the house.

"Charlie..." I spoke up, swallowing down the lump in my throat and seeing him pause there. "When mom died... You were the only person who held dad together. Who took care of us like his own for the longest time. Remember?"

He slowly turned and met my gaze, his look slipping from angry to just plain worn out and exhausted.

"Yea Jake, course I remember."

"Dad would've never made it through that time without you, Charlie. You know that and you know what you mean to him... " I swallowed harder... "To all of us."

He kept my stare for a long moment before silently gesturing for me to come in. I took my open window and crossed the threshhold. He shut the door and placed his hands on his hips, his look confused and bordering on angry again.

"You don't think this isn't tearing me the hell up? That us being like this isn't enough to make me sick with stress. I love your father like my own brother, would take a damn bullet for that man twice on any given day without question... and your sisters... and you... Hell Jacob -" He sighed, shaking his head and running his hands over his face in frustration. "You've always been like a son to me. I watched you grow up. Watched you face the loss of your mom and I was proud of who you were... who I thought you were - You have to know that. But this... all this... I can't just turn a blind eye here and play dumb. I mean... Jake you pulled Bella out of that dark place before... when Edward had left her in the woods. I was terrified I was gonna lose my daughter. I watched her slip away for weeks and weeks and then... you came along. And for the first time, a genuine smile lit up my baby girl's face and it was always there when she was with you. I knew she felt something for you even when she was with Edward. It was plainly there even if Bella herself had a hard time seeing it, or acknowledging it. And on her wedding day, I remember wishing right before the ceremony that I was giving her away to you and not him."

His words had my throat nearly closing, like someone had me in a choke hold.

I met his gaze and saw the genuine concern there in his eyes for Bella and he was justified in that fear, because in a perfect world, there would be no magic and no monsters. There would just be Bella and I. He had a right to be scared for her. Any good father would be.

"And now?" I asked, my voice strained.

"Now? I don't even know what the hell is real and what the hell is true. But I do know this..." He paused, with another heavy sigh. "I know you love my daughter."

"With all of me."

He nodded thoughtfully and headed for the kitchen. "It's damn early. I'll put a pot of coffee on. You want a cup?"

"Sure... thanks."

He fixed us each a cup and sat down at the kitchen table, gesturing for me to join him. "Bella know you're here?"

"No... She was asleep when I left..."

"Your old man?"

"Snoring away too... But I'm sure he's up by now. You know dad... always up before damn dawn."

"Yep... sounds about right." He replied, taking a sip of his coffee. I glanced over toward the fridge to see the many pictures scattered there. My eyes settling on the one taken when I graduated High school. Charlie had been right there rooting with the rest of the Reservation. He and dad smiling so wide I was sure their faces would crack from it.

I gripped the mug in my hand a bit tighter and saw him taking notice of the picture himself.

"What am I supposed to do Jake?"

I looked him straight in the eye when I spoke my answer. "Trust me... Trust me enough to take care of her. Believe in me enough to know that I would and will do anything needed to keep her happy and safe."

"Trust is earned Jacob-"

"Then give me the chance to earn it back."

"At the expense of my daughters well being? I want what's best for her."

"So do I." I replied.

"I believed, not so long ago, that you were what was best for her."

"... And that's all shot to hell now?" I quietly asked, seeing the disappointment clear in his eyes.

He stood up and shook his head. "You have to understand the risk you're asking me to take here. Jacob - she's my daughter and like I told Bella, one day when you have a child of your own, you'll know what that kind of love feels like and you'll fiercely protect it. Even if it means at the sacrifice of yourself. I know you can't understand that right now-"

"You're wrong." I sighed. "I do understand that kind of love."

Charlie went silent, his eyes meeting mine with question as I stood up. "You wanna know how I can understand that kind of limitless love, Charlie? Because I love Bella like that. And if you'll just listen to me... I'll tell you everything... every single detail of what I am I'll lay out for you to know, so you're no longer in the dark. So you know exactly what I stand for and that I'm still the Jacob you watched grow up... still the very same guy in this picture." I said, taking it off the fridge and laying it on the counter next to his coffee mug. "All I need is for you to hear me out... Please?"

He glanced at the photo, taking it in his hands and placing it back on the fridge. His look uncertain when he spoke. "How much time do you need?"

"A lot." I admitted.

He sat back down and gestured for me to do the same. "Sit... I'm listening."

I obliged and spent the next six hours pawing through every detail I could for him. Telling him all about the legends and the cold ones and how the Volturi had strict commands not to ever betray their secret. I told him how Bella kept him in the dark for his safety and that while her choices were thoughtless and misguided back then, her intent for him and his safety was always firmly in tact. I told him the truth about the Newborn Battle and how Victoria had come for Bella with that crazed blood thirsty army. I explained in great detail who exactly the Volturi were... how powerful they were, and that while I had destroyed a few of their key members recently, their leader was still out there and I swore to him I wouldn't rest until he was found and no longer a danger to Bella. I admitted that the Italian clan still posed as a threat to her, explaining to him what she had promised Aro in return for her life at that time.

I closely watched him absorb all this, seeing his face pale on more than one occasion from the truth I told.

"So they ... the Volturi... could still come after her, now that she's chosen a human life with you?" He asked and I nodded my reply, further answering any and all questions he had, even broaching the subject of imprinting and what it meant, explaining to him all that had really transpired between Sam and Leah and how Emily had come to be his world with one look.

I paused when he suddenly stood from his chair, his look unreadable for moments on end, as he processed this. I was just about to tell him that Bella was my imprint when he gave me a look that told me he already knew.

"She's... Bella's... your imprint?"

I stood with him and nodded, watching him carefully to see which way the pendulum was about to swing on this. Good or bad... great or indifferent. At least now he knew.

"So... before you became a wolf... all that had transpired between the two of you ... That connection before..." Charlie struggled, and I quickly corrected where his thoughts were misleading him to.

"Still matters... Charlie... I've loved Bella since before I really even knew what love was. Imprint or no imprint. I want to be nowhere else... with no one else. To be honest... I hated the idea of imprinting at first. It seemed cruel and unfair to rip someone away from another simply based on the imprint, but now... I wouldn't trade that connection with her for anything. I know what we have runs so much deeper than just that."

I sat back in my chair and waited for him to say something. His stance switching from one foot to the other several times. "This is... I can't even... holy shit..."

"I know this is a whole hell of a lot to digest, Charlie. I get it... trust me."

I glanced at my watch and noted it was nearly noon and Bella would be getting worried if I didn't show back up soon.

As if he read my mind, Charlie voiced this. "You should get going... She'll worry if you're too much longer."

I nodded and thanked him for listening as I headed out. I hadn't made it to the door when Charlie yelled my way.

"Jake... Hold on."

I turned back to face the man who I had nothing but respect for and saw his eyes become glossy when he extended a hand to me.

I felt the lump in my throat return when I firmly shook his.

"Thank you ... for coming here and... trying... to explain all this. I just need some time... or something... alright?"

"Sure. I understand that. I'm only a phone call away if you have anymore questions."

"I'll remember that... uh.. please tell Bella that I love her and miss her?"

"I will, Charlie... Stop in and see dad sometime soon... don't let this ruin the two of you. My father considers you family... As do I."

He nodded ... "We'll see... once I've had some time to process all this stuff... " He trailed off.

"Till then?" I asked, hopeful that this had been a good step in the right direction for everyone.

"Yea Jake... Till then..."


	38. Chapter 39

**CHAPTER THIRTY - NINE**

**(BPOV)**

I was awakened by the sound of laughter coming from Billy's kitchen. Paul's booming voice carrying down the hall as I stirred under the cool sheets, a small shiver from the crisp air of the morning striking me. I nestled myself further down into the comforters and realized then that I was cold for a reason... Jacob wasn't wrapped around me the way he usually was this morning. I sat up and glanced over to his empty side of the bed, my eyes searching for a note of some kind, telling me where he'd taken off to, but there was none to be found. I glanced over to my phone to see it was almost eleven in the morning! I never slept that late, but then again, I had been worn out from last night.

I got to my feet and dressed, hearing the laughter grow again from the kitchen and wondering what all the noise was about. I was surprised to see Sue there and catering over a large buffet style breakfast she had prepared for everyone. And when I say everyone... I mean just about everyone.

Paul was there with Leah and Seth... Colin and his brother Brady, along with Quil and Embry. Billy sat at his usual spot at the kitchen table with his coffee and paper in hand. They all greeted me with warm smiles and a "Good morning." I offered them a smile in return and heard Seth pipe up.

"Want some Java, Bella?" He asked, holding up an empty mug.

"Uh... Yes... please."

Paul's arm suddenly came around my shoulders with a grin. "Morning... well... should I say nearly afternoon. Thought you were a rather early riser?"

"I usually am..." I confessed, taking the warm cup of coffee Seth held out to me. "Thanks."

"Plenty of food here Bella. You must be hungry? Grab a plate?" Sue offered.

I had to admit it sure smelled amazing. Sue had made everything but the kitchen sink for breakfast. Eggs... bacon... toast... chocolate chip pancakes... blueberry muffins and sausage. I was hungry but with everything that had happened with Charlie last night, my stomach was still in knots and I wasn't sure if eating right now was the best option for me.

"I will... maybe later?" I replied to her with half a smile. She nodded in understanding and handed a well rounded plate to Billy. His eyes watchful of me when he took it from her.

"Jake have an unexpected meeting with the council or something this morning?" I whispered to Paul.

"No... Not that he made us aware of. I thought he was with you? Still sleeping?"

"No..."

"He probably just went for a run or something. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"I hope so." I replied, taking another sip of my coffee.

Sam and Emily came in with their arms full of more breakfast goodies and Jared with his girlfriend Kim trailed right behind them. Emily smiled and gave me a huge hug, her tender hand coming to touch my cheek. "You're looking so much better." She sighed, as Sam offered me a genuine grin.

"Thank you."

If they only knew...

I may be looking better, but my insides felt like they had just been shredded from Charlie's words last night. I sighed and felt Paul's arm tighten around my shoulders.

"Hang in there, Swan. Things will get better."

"I hope so."

Paul grabbed a plate and began piling it high with every kind of breakfast food their was. He offered me a muffin but I kindly turned it down. I stuck to just my coffee and joined some of the chatter here and there, but found my mind was too preoccupied with my father and wondering where Jacob was this morning to concentrate.

When breakfast was finishing up, I offered to help Sue with the many dishes in the sink. They were piled high and I began scrubbing away as the rush of the breakfast crowd cleared out. I was just drying the last dish when I felt two arms wrap around my waist and heard a husky whisper at my ear. "Hey Beautiful..."

I turned in his arms to see his classic warm smile in place. The look of it as genuine as I'd seen it now for weeks.

"Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up." Jacob sighed, his nose brushing mine affectionately.

"Where were you?"

"I went to see Charlie. That's where I've been this whole time."

I saw the undeniable hope in those warm brown eyes and it made me smile.

"What ... What did he s - say?" I stammered.

"I told him everything honey, every detail I could think of... all of it."

I struggled for the words to say to him when he told me this. My head swarming with all the ways it could have gone horribly wrong.

"Everything?" I breathed.

He nodded, leaning in and pressing his lips to my forehead. "Everything."

"And...?"

"He said he needs some time to think, honey. But he let me in and he listened, Bells. I mean, he really listened to what I had to say. Its a start in the right direction for us."

I hugged him fiercely then. Being reminded of just how lucky I was to have a man like Jacob as my own.

"So... He knows that I'm your imprint?" I asked, pulling back to meet his gaze.

"He does... but more than that... He knows just how much I love you."

I kissed him softly on the lips and felt him press me against the counter, igniting desire to course through me as my body warmed to his.

A voice soon cut through the lust filled haze that had clouded my thoughts.

"Hey you two... Don't make me get the hose out!" Sam laughed, shooting us a knowing wink. Jacob's hearty chuckle made me smile all the more as he released me. "Saved you a plate over there if you want it, bro?"

"Thanks Sam." Jake replied.

"We have to get going. Have an appointment." Sam sighed, affection laced in his tone when he touched Emily's round belly. She grinned at him and the sight of it had me nearly combusting with happiness for them.

"See you later and let us know how it goes?" I asked.

"Sure thing." Emily laughed on their way out.

A kiss to my neck had me abruptly brought back to Jacob. His arms turning me to face him. "Did you eat something?"

"Haven't had much of an appetite this morning. Just coffee..."

"Feel alright?" He asked, the backs of his fingers coming to caress my cheek.

"Just stress. Nothing to worry about."

"Worrying about you is my job." He chuckled.

"I'll be fine." I assured him. "Are you running patrol later?"

"At two... but I'll be back not too long after dark. Are you staying here today?"

"I planned on it."

He grinned and placed a kiss on my cheek. "Good."

"Aren't you tired of me yet?" I teased, heating up his plate of food for him in the microwave.

"Not possible."

"You say that now..." I teased.

"I'll say it always. That won't change."

I sat with him while he ate and finished my cup of coffee. The temporary silence in the house nice for a change. I was elated to know that Charlie had given Jacob the chance to at least talk to him. That he had heard him out on some level. The mere thought of them not having a relationship anymore was heart breaking for me to even think about. I knew that we still had a long road of trust earning ahead of us, and I would do whatever he needed me to in order to earn it back. I was the one who had betrayed it and I needed him to somehow believe that I would never do that again.

A warm hand on my arm caught my attention as I glanced up to see Jake observing me. His look thoughtful. "You haven't ... said much of anything about..." He paused and I knew where his thoughts were.

I saw his eyes grow worried from my silence. I moved from my seat, and took his strong hands in mine as he stood from the table.

"I haven't said much because there's not a lot to say. I know why you destroyed them. Im glad you spared Esme and Carlisle, but you did what you had to do. I don't hold it against you, Jacob."

"We're being watchful for Aro... or any others that decide to show up. Paul and Embry are assigned for watch, here at the house, till we catch him." His eyes wandered down to the scars on my neck, his look regretful when he touched them.

"Hey..." I sighed, catching his hand in mine. "That wasn't your fault."

"Don't say that. I didn't get to you in time. She could've killed you and if it weren't for Paul and Leah-"

"That's what part of being in a pack is about, right? You can't be in three different places at once, Jacob. Please don't blame yourself... I don't... I never would."

"I wanna make sure you're never in harms way like that again."

"You know..." I sighed, changing the topic in a vague attempt to lighten the mood for him. "With me staying here so much... we're practically living together..."

He grinned, pulling me to him and brushing his lips against mine. "Mmm - Hmm... Only when we get a place of our own... I can strip you naked and make love to you in every room, and on every surface... over and over again... without the fear of being interrupted."

Just his words had my insides nearly melting. Pair that with his salacious, 'devil may care' white smile, and everything South of my waist was clenching, sending delicious tingles right down to my toes.

"That sounds... really nice ... someday."

I felt his arms tighten around me with his reply. "What if I said I wanted that sooner than later?"

I couldn't help the huge smile that touched my face from his confession. "Really?

"Mmm- Hmm really."

"What do you have up your sleeve, Jacob Ephraim?"

He chuckled and quickly kissed me. "Don't you worry about it? You just leave it to me."

"Oh really!?"

"Don't you trust me?" He chuckled.

I met his gaze with a matching grin. "With my life."

Billy came rolling in from the front porch, a cuss coming from him. "Shit Jake... that ramp is never gonna last through the Winter. The wood is rotten. I gotta order some more from the lumber yard and get it fixed."

"Call today and if they have the wood... I'll fix it."

Billy made the call and I quickly showered and dressed before going with Jake to pick up the order of wood.

I offered to help but he insisted my company for the ride was more than enough. The wood looked heavy and I watched in amazement as he tossed the large bundles of it in the back of Billy's pick up like it weighed next to nothing.

Embry and Quil were waiting for him when we returned, hammer and nails near by and ready to get to work. The sense of family was touching at times like this and I watched as they all got busy. They worked until nearly two and then came in for a quick lunch I made for them. I was stunned how fast they'd repaired the wheel chair ramp. Jake thanked them for the help, telling them to start patrol and that he'd be there soon. They waved and left without needing to be told twice.

I waited until Billy had gone into the next room before approaching Jacob and kissing him thoroughly. He moaned once and drew me into him with a chuckle. "What was that for?"

"For just being you..."

"I'll take a kiss like that from you anytime."

"Be careful okay?" I sighed, feeling the unease surround me with the knowledge that Aro was still out there somewhere.

"I will be."

"I actually think I might go see Emily for a while. Just to get out of the house?"

"I think that's a great idea. I'll swing by after Patrol. Sam's running with us tonight, so I'll meet you over there."

"Okay." I sighed, releasing him as he headed out.

I began cleaning up after lunch when I heard his voice call my name by the door.

"Bells..."

"Yea?" I replied, glancing up and seeing his eyes meet mine. "I love you."

I couldn't help but smile with my reply. "I love you, too."

He gave me a matching wide grin, along with a wink and left. I finished the clean up duty and checked on Billy, who was taking a nap, before I left for Emily's.

The wind had picked up and cold rain started to mist down over the streets as I pulled up to their house. I was excited to hear how Emily's appointment had gone. She was getting close to her due date and it was wonderful to see Sam so involved now.

I knocked and zipped up my jacket, the rain now becoming steady as I waited for her to answer the door. I checked my phone to see the time was almost three - thirty. She should of been back from her appointment by now. Sam was with Jacob running patrol...

I knocked louder and peeked in through the window, seeing the lights were on but Emily was no where to be seen. The rain began to pour and I was soaked in a matter of minutes. I jogged back to my truck and dialed Sue Clearwater, thinking maybe she had gone over there to visit Leah, but Sue informed me that Leah was sleeping and Emily hadn't been by whatsoever.

I felt my heart begin to pound as I got back out and ran back up over the steps. I tried the knob and noticed it was unlocked, as I pushed the door open and went in, hollering for her and hearing nothing in reply.

"Em... Emily? You home?"

Silence.

Hair raising anxiety mixed with a heavy dose of fear took hold of me as I ventured through their seemingly empty house. I smelled something burning and ran back into the kitchen to see a pan of cookies burnt to a crisp in the oven. Emily never let anything burn...

The fire alarms began to blare loudly as I threw open the oven door and put on her oven mit to remove them. A cloud of black smoke wafting out and fogging the kitchen. I threw open a few windows to vent the house and felt my heart nearly stop when I rounded the corner that led into their guest room.

I saw her there on the floor and ran to her, dropping to my knees at her side.

"Emily!"

I looked around and saw no sign of struggle as I grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911. My words coming out in a mad rush when I got an operator on the other line. I told her I had found Emily passed out and immediately gave her the address. Thankfully it was one of the few, besides my own, that I knew by heart. The female operator instructed me that the ambulance was on it's way and cautioned me not to move her. Something I already knew from my years in medical school. I checked her pulse, and took it twice... 102 bpm... High... way too high...

My mind flooded with the dozens of possibilities that would cause, an otherwise healthy young woman like herself, to suddenly lose consciousness...

I took her pulse again and waited as the sound of a blaring siren soon echoed through the house. My mind racing with some of the medical knowledge I could still remember from medical school.

Her pulse was now 106 and I was certain that mine was close to matching her own. The EMT's came rushing through the house, medical bags and equipment surrounding us. It was then that it hit me... High Blood Pressure... Pre-eclampsia, also known as toxemia.

I told the EMT's her full name and what her heart rate was as I rushed out of the way for them to work. They began taking more vitals and calling her name, trying to get her to come to. "Emily... Emily... can you hear me? Does your friend have any known medical condition with this pregnancy or prior to the pregnancy?"

"No..." I shook my head. "Not that I'm aware of... but She just went to the Doctors this morning. I was coming over to see how it went when I found her like this. Could it be pre-eclampsia?" I asked.

"Very well could be." One male EMT replied, as they loaded her onto the stretcher and began moving her to the ambulance.

I followed them out, seeing her disappear into the back. "Can I come with her?" I asked, before they closed the doors.

"Are you family?" The male EMT asked me.

"Yes. She's... she's my family."

"Go ahead." He gestured, allowing me in.

I frantically called Sue back and was relieved when Seth answered, knowing he could get to Sam faster than anyone else could. "Hello?"

"Seth... I need you to go get Sam from Patrol... NOW... It's Emily... I found her passed out. The ambulance is here now."

"Wh... what... Okay... Okay... I'm going to go get him. Right now."

"Hurry Seth! Please!"

The phone went dead and the siren blared down the streets and soon through the town of Forks. I watched them work on her, hooking her up to this machine and that. When we reached the hospital parking lot, her eyes fluttered open and tears sprung to mine.

"Emily." I sighed in relief, reaching out and taking her hand.

She looked around with confusion as the EMT's explained where she was and what had happened.

"Try and stay Calm okay Emily? You're in good hands. We'll take good care of you. Do you remember what happened Are you in any pain right now?"

"No..." She whispered.

I felt her hand squeeze mine and her eyes grow wide when they opened the door to the ambulance, cautiously wheeling her into the emergency room where she was immediately surrounded by half a dozen doctors and nurses. Her hand left mine when they wheeled her into an exam room.

Emily protested, grabbing the arm of the young Male EMT before he left and requesting I go with her. The nosy nurse beside him, shook her head. "Family only."

"She is family!" Emily snapped harshly at her. The nurse changed her tune then and motioned for me to come along. I retook Emily's hand as they continued to ask her a dozen different questions and further asses her.

A tall Male doctor soon addressed her. "Hello Emily... I'm Dr. O'Brien. Can you tell me your full name and what year it is?" He asked, shining a light in her eyes.

Emily answered him correctly and he moved on to the next question. "Do you remember if you were experiencing any odd symptoms before the incident? Headaches? Bouts of dizziness... any trouble with your vision?"

"I've been having headaches since the day before yesterday... only on and off... but strong enough to make me lay down. And I was dizzy early this morning when I first got up, but it wore off as the day went on. My blood pressure was a bit high at my appointment this morning. They sent me home on bed rest order and made a follow up appointment for next week. Please tell me the baby's okay?"

"We're hooking you up to the fetal heart monitor now. Your blood pressure is very high." The doctor replied, thumbing through the chart in his hands. "167/106 is dangerously high. I'm gonna order a urine dip to make sure you're not spilling protein into your urine and a few other tests. I'd like to keep you here for the night to be monitored. Would you like me to call your husband for you?" He asked, spotting her wedding ring.

Emily shot a nervous glance my way and I spoke up for her. "I already notified her husband. His name is Sam Uley. He should be here very soon."

The Doctor nodded as the sound of a rapid heartbeat pounded in a wave like rhythm through the monitor. The sound silencing the room. I watched Emily's whole face light up with relief as she intently glared at the monitor. The doctor offered her a smile of assurance.

"Baby sounds good, Emily. We'll monitor you both closely. Please try and relax and I'll be back in with some more tests in a short while."

With that, he left and Emily glanced my way. Her look scared. The nurse soon left as well to get Emily some water, leaving us alone for a few fleeting minutes.

"How did you get ahold of Sam?" Emily breathed, her shaky tone telling me how truly scared she was.

"I called Seth and he went straight out to get him. He should be here real soon, Em. He's coming... you know he's coming."

She nodded as her eyes filled with tears. "Thank you, Bella."

I leaned over the bed and cautiously hugged her.

"You're gonna be fine. Sam will be here before you know it." I assured her.

"Thank you again for staying with me." She sighed when I released her.

"Of course... We're family... its what we do." I half smiled at her and saw her return it.

"We are Family."

My heart warmed to hear her say this. I had never had an older sister, but Emily had certainly become about as close to it as possible for me.

"I hope Sam doesn't wreck trying to get here." She fretted.

"No way. I bet he runs here... wolf form and comes in shirtless." I teased, gaining a small laugh from her and seeing some of the worry fade from her features.

"Yeah... you're probably right about that... so... I hope he doesn't cause a collision while trying to get here." She chuckled.

I smiled and kept her talking, trying to keep her light hearted and her mind off the worry until Sam arrived.

"Have you thought of a name for him yet?" I asked.

"Well... Technically yes, but I haven't told Sam yet. I want it to be a surprise. I'll tell you, just don't tell Jacob. I don't want it slipped out to Sam." I nodded and heard her whisper it to me. " I'm going to name him Levi... Levi James Uley."

Her eyes grew glossy when she spoke his name, saying the name of her son like a sacred prayer. The sound so beautiful it should only be whispered in reverence.

"That's beautiful. " I breathed to her.

"Levi was Sam's great grandfather... I want to name our son after him. I've been pretending to not know what name to choose for him yet, but I chose a while ago. It just feels right."

"It will be." I replied, taking her hand in mine just as the nurse came in to check on her.

"Mrs. Uley... I believe your husband just arrived, he's signing some insurance paperwork at the front desk and will be with you soon, dear."

"Oh, thank you." Emily sighed in relief.

I waited with her until Sam came rushing in. His look of worry and fear evident when he approached her. I moved so he could be close with her and saw him cradle her face like she was made of delicate porcelain, kissing her forehead. His tone that of a whispered strain when he spoke to her. "I came as soon as I heard. What happened? Are you alright? Is the baby?-"

Emily silenced his worry with a soft kiss. "We're fine, Sam. We're both fine."

He pressed his forehead to hers with a heavy sigh and placed his hands protectively on her round belly. The look of it so intimate that I didn't feel right making myself so privy to their moment, so I slowly headed for the door, only to stop when I heard Sam's baritone voice say my name.

"Bella... wait."

I turned back around just in time for him to hug me. His embrace meaningful and touching. "Thank you."

I nodded when he released me and offered Emily one more smile before ducking out and leaving them be, breathing a sigh of relief myself when I turned and saw Jacob pacing at the end of the hall just outside the waiting room. The look of it familiar, seeing we had just been here for a night not too many weeks ago when Charlie had been shot. I had personally had enough hospitals for one year already, but I was more than thankful that Emily and her unborn son were okay and in great hands.

I swiftly went to Jacob and hugged him when he had me in arms reach. His embrace tight and comforting.

"How is she?" He asked in a low worried tone.

I took him by the hand as we sat down in the waiting room with the many others who were there waiting on news about their loved ones.

"She's okay. She has high blood pressure... pre-eclampsia. The baby is okay. too ... strong heartbeat and they need to run a few more tests on Emily, but she's stable right now. They want to keep her over night for observation. She'll most definitely be on strict bed rest till she has him if they decide to release her tomorrow."

Jacob's look grew more worried. "That sounds really serious."

"It can be... she could have a stroke if they don't get her blood pressure down. It's serious enough to warrant being here until she delivers. They may induce her once she reaches 37 weeks... just to be safe."

"Why 37 weeks?"

"That's when it would be safe enough for her to deliver. His lungs would be fully developed. They'd probably monitor him in the NICU for a while to be cautious if they chose to induce her. It all depends on what's best for her and the baby... ultimately..."

Jake leaned back in his chair, looking like I had just read him some book in Spanish. His hand absentmindedly reaching for mine. He was silent for many minutes, staring blankly at the people who passed in and out through the waiting room. I rested my head on his shoulder and felt the Deja Vu of it all sink in.

I soon felt his hand release mine as his arm wrapped around my shoulders, drawing me closer into his side. "Sam must be going nuts. I know I would be scared out of my mind for you."

"It can be scary... I get scared of it not happening." I admitted, not realizing the words had actually left my mouth, until I heard Jacob's reply.

"What do you mean... scared of what not happening, honey."

I cussed under my breath, silently wishing I could retract what I'd said and hating the fact I couldn't.

"Bells?" Jake hedged.

"I just meant... for... us..."

I felt him shift, leaning upright in his chair. My head lifting as I moved back to see his eyes meet mine.

I could only hold his gaze for so long without feeling the weight of it all come crashing. I wanted to take it back. Why couldn't I turn back the clock to just five minutes ago.

As if coming as an answer to my silent prayer, Jake's cell rang in his jacket pocket and he hurriedly took the call outside, but not before reaching for me and taking my hand along the way. I walked with him to the main entrance as he answered it.

"Hey Quil... Yeah we're here now... No... She's stable and Sam's in with her... Yea... Yea please check in on dad for me. I don't know how long we'll be here and tell Brady thank you for taking the run with Colin when we got word of what happened to Emily... thanks... okay... appreciate it man... sure thing... bye."

He ended the call and slid his phone back in his jacket pocket, his gaze intense when it held my own.

"Please don't look at me like that..." I sighed, releasing his hand.

"I just don't understand why-"

"You know why..." I whispered to him, glancing around at the few chain smoking men lingering by the main entrance. Jacobs hand took mine and pulled me further down the walk way.

"Bella-"

"You know the promise I made and you know what will happen if Aro isn't destroyed." I interjected, seeing his eyes narrow. "I'm not doubting your strength or your abilities, nor am I questioning the packs abilities, but I'm choosing not to underestimate his, either. We don't know where he is right now, or how many newborns he could be creating as we speak. I know the way he works well enough to know that he'll wait ... he'll wait and plan... and plot ... picking the perfect time and taking sick thrill over us building a life together just so he can tear it apart. He would use our innocent children as bait to get to me..." I shuddered at just the thought and looked away from his gaze. "No... I can't do that... I won't do that. I foolishly threw all those dreams away when I promised him my change... promised to become one of them. I'd take it all back right now if I could, but I can't. You can't tell me that you haven't thought about this... That it hasn't crossed your mind before now?"

"Of course it has, Bells. Long before now..." He replied, cradling my face.

"It's a risk Im not willing to take with our children, Jacob. As much as I love you and as much as I want that dream for us-"

"We can still have that, honey."

I shook my head and saw the fierceness in his eyes.

"Our future children shouldn't have to pay for my poor choices with Edward."

"Bella... I want nothing more than to someday have a little girl who looks just like you. With your laugh and your smile and those doe eyes of yours that I can never say no to."

I went silent at his words. The way he said them had my heart warming. I longed to share that with him. But with the Volturi and Aro... the cost was too high a price to pay.

Sam suddenly emerged from the main entrance and approached us.

"Is Emily okay?" I asked.

"Yea... she's sleeping. I just wanted to let you guys know that they are gonna keep her over night and maybe longer depending on what tomorrow brings. But she's doing okay right now, You two should head home and get some rest yourself. It's getting late. I'll call you if anything should change."

"Please do." I replied, giving him a small hug. "And tell her we send our love okay?"

"I will. You can come back and see her in the morning. I'm sure she'd love that."

"Okay." I smiled.

"Don't hesitate to call if you need anything, Sam." Jacob offered, extending his hand to him.

Sam shook it with a genuine nod of appreciation. "I won't. Thanks again... to both of you... for everything."

We left the hospital and headed for home. The ride there uncomfortably silent. Images of dark haired, brown eyed children running to Jacob in our front yard, danced through my head like someone had hit the play button on a movie. I felt the tears sting my eyes as we pulled into his yard.

Billy was eagerly waiting at the table when we came through the front door. Jake filled him in, as I quickly said good night to him before retreating to Jakes room and getting changed for bed. I pulled on one of Jake's flannel shirts and crawled in bed, my eyes falling to the crescent shaped scar on my inner wrist.

One stupid young decision had cost me way more than I ever thought it would.

I said a prayer for Emily and Sam and closed my eyes and hearing the bedroom door open shortly after. I hoped Jake would let this go for now, not because I wanted to ignore how he felt about it, but simply because I didn't want to fight with him.

I felt the bed dip under his weight and his strong arms soon encircled my waist, his warmth soothing and his lips coming to touch my neck, placing a soft kiss there.

"I know you're scared for the future, Bells."

His tone was genuinely understanding and I slowly turned myself in his arms to face him.

"I am." I sighed, truthfully.

He drew me further into him and I felt his warm hands slide up under the flannel shirt, caressing my bare back.

"We'll take it one day at a time..." He offered.

"Okay... one day at a time." I agreed.


	39. Chapter 40

**CHAPTER FORTY**

"All things share the same breath - the beast, the trees, the man. The air shares its spirit with all the life it supports." -Chief Seattle-

**(JPOV)**

Sleep hadn't come all that easy for me lately. My mind was constantly running and I couldn't find the damn shut off switch. The words that Bella had spoken earlier to me at the hospital, made closing my eyes for rest impossible. It had set something off within me.

My mind began to roam down the dark gallows of desperation... Going so far down as to even entertain the idea of forming an alliance with the only two vampires I'd spared that night... an alliance that would get me into the Volturi's lair and give me the pleasure of destroying the very castle Aro called home.

The truth was ... Bella was right to fear for our future children and every time I dare close my eyes now, I could vividly see the picture she painted with her words outside the hospital. That sick bastard would wait... and wait... Till we'd laid roots somewhere... built a family ... had a life.

I could feel the heat surge through me at the mere thought of him taking his wrath out on our innocent children or Bella. The desire to burn that lair down began to consume my every thought. It was the last vision I saw before I closed my eyes at night and the first thing I would think about when I opened them in the morning. I began to crave it, like chasing a high you desperately needed.

In the weeks that followed, I submerged myself in turning the thoughts into plans and the plans into actions. I was done with waiting and hoping to come across Aro's trail on a patrol run. The waiting game was one I had grown tired of playing.

I had become so consumed with it, that everything else had taken a back seat.

Emily was still in the hospital on bed rest. They had picked a date to induce her and were monitoring her and the baby closely. Bella had been in to see her daily and Sam was by her side through it all. I had popped in myself a few times to see how she was holding up. Sam had noticed my distracted state and asked if something was up, but I denied there was anything important on my mind and would swiftly change the topic.

Sam had enough going on right now. I'd talk to him later, when things weren't so crazed.

While Sam may have bought into my half - assed lie, Bella however didn't. She had asked me numerous times in the last few weeks what was going on. I deflected her questions the best I could and tried to distract her in one way or another.

She was persistent and would pry all the more anyway. I knew damn well what she'd say if she found out where my thoughts were always headed. It was a fight I didn't want to have with her. She would worry incessantly even though she shouldn't.

I tried like hell to keep my thoughts about it to myself when running patrols, or having meetings with the pack. I wanted to wait until Emily was out of the hospital and home safe with their son before dumping all this on Sam. He would want to be part of it, and with the new baby arriving in a matter of days, the thought didn't settle so well with me.

Emily had been through enough and the added stress of this wouldn't help matters any. I had to be careful about letting it slip too soon, but when the night came and Bella was fast asleep, I would lay awake and think about ripping each and every one of Aro's remaining disciples apart and setting them ablaze.

I had done well over the last few years to keep the inner wolf at bay. Sam had taught me well on how to control him when the man needed to over rule, but since Bella had nearly died at their cold hands, I was beginning to lose the solid grip I had held. The sense of balance between wolf and man had become blurred and I knew how dangerous that was... I knew what a fine line I was teetering on. The Volturi had been fools enough to trifle with me and what fools they were for it.

I'd seen the fevered eyes of their ravenous clan. I knew the evil kind which we were called to destroy without mercy... As the saying goes, the sea may change color but the sea does not change.

I wanted every last one of them destroyed. Something I couldn't do alone. If it took me having to form an alliance with the enemy themselves so I could destroy them all... then I would.

My gaze fell on Bella as she laid there fast asleep in my bed, her face peaceful and her heart beating a steady rhythm.

I could see it ... The future I wanted with this woman... It was so real to me... so true... so desired... that I could almost reach my hand out and touch it, making it damn near tangible to me.. The picture in my mind was crystal clear... the scene beautiful to behold...

Bella walking down the aisle to me in her wedding gown... Building a house for her... for us... The beaming grin on her beautiful face when she told me we were having a baby... ... ...

I wanted it all... With no one else. I wanted our children to grow up without the fear of Aro's revenge hanging over their innocent heads.

What kind of life was that to share? When you were constantly looking over your shoulder and waiting for the inevitable to take place?

I didn't want our future to look like that. It wasn't a life I wanted forced upon us.

While I knew the danger of embracing the beast within... it was a huge risk, but a risk I was willing to take.


	40. Chapter 41

**A/N: Hello again everyone :-) It's been a week full of updates and I have loved reading each and every review you leave for me! A huge thank you to all who have taken the time to read and follow this story. I appreciate your support! As always, happy reading and feel free to review. Now, without further or due, on with the story!**

**CHAPTER FORTY - ONE**

_"Strength - A river cuts through a rock, not because of it's power but it's persistence."_

**(BPOV)**

The stove clock read midnight and my pacing continued. The house was silent other than the persistent ticking of the wall clock in the living room. I made myself a cup of tea in hopes that the warm beverage would somehow help soothe me. I wrapped my hands around the base of the warm mug and closed my eyes as I sat down at the kitchen table. The warmth of the mug flooding it's way up my arms and making me crave the kind of warmth I'd been missing now for days.

Jacob had been running every patrol shift possible. He barely slept anymore and his sudden shift in mood was enough to make me sea sick from the constant back and forth he threw at me. One moment he was reaching for me, drawing me into him and the next it was as if someone had flipped a switch and my Jacob would disappear. Sometimes it was for only a few fleeting hours... Other times it would be for days on end and I began to think I was losing my mind or worse... that the suspicions running through my head might be true.

Try as hard as I may to push the insecurity that came roaring with it's ugly head to the surface every time I saw Leah, it still remained. I had thanked her for what she'd done and even tried to chat with her briefly when we would cross paths to see Emily at the hospital, but the truth was, I was becoming more and more aware of the smallest of sentiments the two of them shared. I would take notice of how she seemed to always be around Jacob more often than not, whether it was for pack meetings at Billy's or when they dropped by with Sue and some of her home made goodies for the guys.

I would see the way she watched him and I noticed how he seemed to be all the more aware of her now, too.

The last few weeks had really thrown me for a loop with him. I constantly felt like I was walking on egg shells, trying to guess what his mood would be for the day and silently bracing myself for when he would shut me out again, or worse, we would fight over the stupidest things. I swore there were times he was just trying to pick a fight with me.

I had tried to talk to him... tried to ask him what was going on, but he would deny anything and sometimes duck out of the conversation altogether, leaving me all the more confused.

We hadn't had a night or even a day alone together in weeks. I had shed a good many tears to Emily about all this, asking her advice and even bending Sam's ear a bit to see if he knew what had Jacob shifting so suddenly. Sam was as clueless as I was, and after days and days of worrying and guessing what was wrong, or what I had done wrong, I was reaching my breaking point.

It wasn't like Jacob to shut me out. He never used to. We were always like an open book to each other and now it seemed like he didn't want to share anything with me. It was nerve wracking and torturous to see him fade away from me like this and not have a clue in hell why.

Was there someone else? Was it possible that he dismissed what he and Leah had too soon, and now that she was back, he'd discovered there was much more with her? Could he be lying to me about all the extra patrols shifts he'd been taking lately... was he seeing her and not telling me?

My heart shattered at just the thought, but I had to be realistic... Something was going on... something had changed him.

Even his smile had faded to something that was forced and less genuine. He had to know I saw the difference? Didn't he see what this was doing to me ... to us?

On the one hand, he had made an amicable mends with Charlie and they had grown to repair some of the damage. My father and I were also working to fix what I had broken in the first place, which I was exceedingly grateful for.

We started out small with having dinner, just the two of us at our favorite diner and we had just recently worked our way back into talking on a more regular basis again. Charlie had assured me that his love for me would never change, but repairing the trust that had been broken would take some work and time.

After all... As they say... Rome wasn't built in a day and anything worth having is certainly something worth fighting for.

I would be patient with him and try my best to fix what I had ruined.

With Jacob running extra patrols on a regular basis, I was often left alone at night. His bed being the only tangible thing of his I could surround myself with. I was restless and had been unable to get a full nights rest in weeks.

The situation with him had become maddening and tonight, I found myself running out of reasons to stay living with him and Billy. Maybe we needed a break from each other. Maybe I had over stayed my welcome? Either way, I needed a night back in my own bed. One damn night to just sleep and not dwell on the possibilities that surrounded this character shift in Jacob.

I finished my tea and began packing a small bag to take back home with me. I knew every relationship faced certain challenges and obstacles like this, I just wasn't sure what the answer was yet on how to fix it. How can I help him, or help us when I didn't have the slightest clue what he was thinking or where his heart had gone to suddenly?

Everything about him would change in the blink of an eye... from one day to the next.

Billy had even taken notice and had asked him over breakfast one morning what the hell was going on with him. Jacob got angry and threw his plate of untouched food in the trash before storming out and taking off into the woods, his trail of stripped clothing the only thing left on the back lawn.

Billy told me to hang in there and wait this out with him, but I was convinced at this point that me staying here was only making matters worse for him.

On top of everything else... Thanksgiving was next week and my mother had been begging me to skip town and fly back to Jacksonville to spend the holiday with her and Phil. I was more than tempted to take her up on the offer, but I knew if I left what that would look like to Jacob, and I couldn't take the risk with things being so out of balance with us lately.

I finished packing my bag and headed out into the cold rain. My heart heavy as I tossed my things into my truck and felt the engine roar to life. I had left a note on the table for Billy when he returned home from town to find. Something explaining my gratitude and telling him I'd call him later.

Maybe a few days back in Forks would be just what Jake and I needed... some separation... some distance. I sure hoped it would help in some way because I was slowly but surely running out of answers. I could say this for certain... nothing sent your insides screaming like watching the one you love with all of who you are begin to slip away from you... like the tiny granules of sand on the beach would slip through your fingers no matter how tightly you tried to hang on to them.

I had wracked my brain so much lately, trying to understand what Jacob needed from me. I had offered to be the listening hear for him, but he turned me down time and time again, and if I pushed the issue too much, we'd end up arguing. The last fight two nights ago had been the worst and a side of him I'd never seen had emerged from it. He was cold and distant and angry. My eyes stung with tears as I remembered the fight...

Jacob had just come through the front door from patrol. It was late at night and Billy was about ready to head to bed when Jake came storming in. The sound of the slamming front door behind him causing us both to startle.

"Mind telling me what has you so angry these days?" Billy asked.

"Nothing." Jake spat coldly over one shoulder before grabbing a beer from the fridge. Something else he'd been doing more of lately... drinking. His occasional beer with dinner or the pack after patrol, had become half a dozen now.

"Sure in hell don't seem like nothin'..." Billy replied, his tone growing angry.

"It is."

Billy's eyes gazed over in my direction and he pushed the issue.

"Bullshit... You can lie to everyone else if you want to... whatever makes you feel better... but you aint' fooling me, boy. I've seen that look... I used to wear it."

Jacob whirled and shook his head. "I said it's nothing... Drop it."

"And I said you're full of shit... who the hell are you trying to fool here, Jacob? Cause it sure in hell isn't working." Billy glanced my way and Jacobs heated gaze followed. "Take it from me... you keep this up... you'll lose something you can't replace."

"Drop it." Jake yelled. His tone dark and making me reel to see him speak to Billy that way.

"You best remember who you're talking to, boy. I'm watching you do the exact same thing I did years ago. It almost cost me your mother."

Jake remained silent and took another long haul off his beer, his look cold and brooding.

Billy abruptly slammed his fist down on the table. "Damn it Jacob! Look at her!" He yelled, gesturing my way. "What the hell are you trying to do! She's got the same damn look your mother wore before she left me years ago. I got lucky enough to get her back. I'm begging you to stop this... whatever the hell it is... and talk to her... before it's too late."

Jake glanced my way, our eyes meeting and his cold façade slipping for the smallest second before it was erased and the cold shield of armor he'd been wearing for weeks now, fell back in place. He threw his empty bottle across the kitchen, the glass bottle smashing into the far wall and shattering into tiny fragments that flew through the kitchen like shrapnel in a war zone.

"JACOB!" Billy yelled, but Jake was already out the front door and I heard the echo of a loud howl surround us, as Billy and I stared at each other in shock. I was quick to clean up the glass, my eyes blurring with tears that ran down my face.

"I'm sorry Billy."

"You have nothing to apologize for, dear." He sighed.

My hands shook as I swept up the glass and tossed it into the trash. I turned back to put the broom away and saw Paul appear in the open door way.

"You guys alright?" He asked.

I nodded and felt my tears start to get the better of me.

"I'll be right back... Billy... I uh... Just need some air." I choked out, grabbing my truck keys from the table and running past Paul. My hands were still shaking as I tried to make it into the cab before falling apart. I dropped my keys twice and cursed under my breath as a warm hand caught my arm.

"You shouldn't drive like this, Bella." Paul cautioned, his tone genuine.

I turned and shook my head. "Wh... What... how am I supposed to... He won't even-" I sobbed, leaning against my truck and feeling the dam break. I began to sink down, and felt Paul catch me before I hit the ground. His embrace tight and comforting the way Jacob's used to be.

"Hang in there, Bella..."

I cried all the harder because the notion of hanging in there meant you actually had something to hang on to... What the hell was I supposed to cling to when my Jacob was no where to be found these days? Did he even want me to hang on?

"How?" I cried, pulling back from his embrace.

"You find it within yourself, Bella."

The memory of Paul's words had my head filling with doubt now, as I laid my head on the steering wheel, trying to find the strength to hit the gas and head for Forks. I had to be making the right decision? What else was I supposed to do?

I slowly put my truck in gear and hit the highway. My tears falling as the miles passed away from the Reservation and led me into the town of Forks. My heart feeling like someone had reached their hand in and ripped it out... Leaving me hollow... empty... and yearning for a man that I looked at every day but couldn't get through to.

I felt the realization hit me in the chest like a freight train when I pulled into my driveway...

This feeling must have been exactly how Jacob had felt when I'd run off to Jacksonville... when I'd almost married Edward... After the newborn Battle... When I went to Italy to save Edward...

I would give anything to go back in time, because I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone... Not anyone.

My insides were screaming to go back to the Reservation when I opened the door and let my bag hit the floor. Charlie rounded the corner when he heard me come in, his eyes meeting mine with question as he approached me.

"Bella? Honey... what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Can I ... stay here for a while?"

"Of course you can... this is still your home, Bella... That won't ever change."

Charlie took my bag and brought it into the living room as I sat down on the couch.

"Does Jake know you're staying here?" Charlie asked.

I shook my head and saw Charlie's look grow worried. "Something happen?" He hedged further.

"I'm... not sure..." I whispered.

Charlie nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "You wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head, not trusting my voice at this point.

"Okay honey... Well I'm glad you're home for a while. Missed you around here."

I laid my head on my fathers shoulder and basked in the comfort of his embrace. My whole body felt cold... numb ... and my heart screamed for Jacob... My Jacob.


	41. Chapter 42

**A/N: Hey guys :-) Time for another update! I thank you all once again for your continued support. I appreciate each and every one of you who have taken the time to read my story. Your reviews are priceless to me :-)**** There will be another chapter posted mid- week and I'm hoping to post one more again by the weekend. As always, happy reading!**

**CHAPTER FORTY - TWO**

"We humans fear the beast within the wolf because we do not understand the beast within ourselves... For every man has a wild beast within him."

**(JPOV)**

I raised the cold bottle of beer to my lips and heard my father's booming voice come from behind me.

"Mind telling me what has you so angry these days?"

"Nothing." I coldly replied, feeling his heated gaze upon my back.

"Sure in hell don't seem like nothin'..."

"It is." I spat, my patience on a thin wavering line.

"Bullshit... you can lie to everyone else if you want to... whatever makes you feel better... but you aint' fooling me, boy. I've seen that look... I used to wear it." He yelled.

I clutched the glass bottle tightly in my hand, feeling it begin to give way under the weight of my grip.

"I said it's nothing... drop it!" I yelled back.

My fathers eyes went dark as he narrowed them with his reply. "And I said you're full of shit... who the hell are you trying to fool here, Jacob? Cause it sure in hell isn't working. Take it from me... you keep this up... you'll lose something you can't replace..."

"DROP IT!"

"You best remember who you're talking to, boy. I'm watching you do the exact same thing I did years ago. It almost cost me your mother."

I shook my head and felt the anger pour down into me, trying to claw it's heated way up my throat. I took a swig from my beer and heard my father's solid fist connect harshly with the wooden table. "Damn it, Jacob! Look at her!" He yelled, waving his hand in Bella's direction.

My eyes followed his gesture to see her looking at me with the same look she'd worn in my presence for weeks... the look of a stranger. At first, it would cut me deep and I'd hate myself for doing this to her. But after weeks of seeing her wear it, I'd grown utterly numb.

She would look at me and I would see it plainly there... the confusion... the uncertainty... the longing...

Her eyes met mine and for a fleeting moment, I felt my hands twitch to touch her and the man resurface just long enough the entertain the idea of crossing the room and taking her back in my arms.

My father's angry yelling soon continued... "What the hell are you trying to do?! She's got the same damn look your mother wore before she left me years ago. I got lucky enough to get her back. I'm begging you to stop this... whatever the hell it is... and talk to her... before it's too late."

The fury within me was too hot to contain and I let the bottle in my hand fly, sending it slicing through the air and smashing against the kitchen wall. The glass shattered and I barely heard the many fragments hit the floor, before I was out the front door and running for the woods, craving it like air to my lungs.. like heroine to an addicts veins... like a kill for the murderous leech.

Russet fur soon replaced the skin I wore as my paws dug harshly into the earth beneath me. I ran with no true destination... just to fucking run.

I had lost the fight between wolf and man and with each day that passed, I would feel myself slip further and further away.

I fought it at first, struggling against the constant push and pull of man and beast, before I willingly let the wolf instinct within take me over.

The surrender came with consequences... ones I feared may be too high a price to pay, but in the end, embracing the beast that roared with fury and frothed for vengeance, would give me the power I needed to bring Voltera to it's knees and destroy every last demon that dwelled there. It would be the very power I would use when the time came.

Some of the consequences were painful. The further down into the beast I sank, and the more power I gave it, only made it all the more painful to phase back to human form.

I was running every patrol shift possible and holding meetings each week, sometimes with the elders involved. I wanted us to be a united front and ready for whatever came our way.

Sleep was basically no more for me and there were days I would feel my body start to give in to the heavy weight of it all. The weakness of it betraying me and making it hard to push forward. I was running on fucking empty these days and far more agitated than usual. I was caught in the undertow and unable to find my way back out.

I had become something unrecognizable to myself... to my father... to my pack... and to Bella.

I knew of her disappointment in me. I could see it in her eyes and tried to stand firm, trying hard to remember the reason I'd given into the beast for in the first place. My silent answer came a few days later, when I was halted mid run one afternoon by the stomach churning stench of a vamp.

The aroma revolting and strong... and close...

I stopped cold where I was and drew in a lungful of leech, feeling the build of a furious snarl grow within my chest as my eyes scanned the above tree's, and the sound of a menacing hiss filtered through the Autumn air.

I heard the rush of wind behind me and whirled abruptly back around to meet the golden haunted gaze of Jasper Hale. His hissing loud and menacing.

Thundering paws began to beat the earth beneath us as Embry and Quil came up on my flanks. Their roars deafening.

Jasper straightened his crouched position and sucked in an un - needed lungful of air. His eyes remaining on mine when he spoke.

"You took her from me." He hissed. "MY ALICE! DESTROYED HER WITHOUT MERCY!" He raged, leaping through the air and landing directly in front of me. His irises filled with hate. "I'm gonna make you wish your kind never existed."

I felt the anger boil over and spill down within my veins like molten lava. Embry lurched forward and Jasper landed a blow to him, sending him flying into a tree. I roared in fury and saw him turn and run toward the river's edge. I took off after him and ordered Quil to stay behind with Embry.

I chased him through the dense forest, seeing him fly over the river and land securely on the other side. He turned back with mocking laughter, thinking I wouldn't cross into Forks. Clearly Carlisle had filled him in on nothing and he was about to be sorely mistaken. I didn't give a fuck which side of the river he was on.

I hurled myself over the flowing current and watched as his eyes grew wide and his movements became blurred with rapid speed. I let out a loud howl and heard it echo off the trees to alert the others as we neared the town line of forks. I knew exactly where he was headed and I kept on his heels till I heard the responding howls of the pack as they phased in. Paul's thoughts linking with mine first.

"_He's headed straight for fucking Charlie's_." He huffed, coming up fast behind me.

Leah phased in next.

"_Only one_?"

"_Just Jasper_." I huffed.

Seth's panicked voice cut through my thoughts next. _"Jacob! He's going for Bella_."

"_Well he'll be disappointed to discover she's not there, won't he?"_ I roared.

"_SHE IS THERE_!" Seth bellowed, his words wrapping themselves around me like barbed wire.

"_WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S THERE? SHE'S WITH BILLY ON THE RES!_" I huffed, feeling the wire begin to slice it's way through me with every mile that closed in on her house.

"_No, Jake. She left... this morning... Billy came home to find a note on the table. She's... back home_."

My pace faltered as the truth struck me like a solid blow of iron to the chest... She was at her house with Charlie. Seth knew this and I didn't and worse... Jasper had banked on it.

Fury washed over me, leaving me seething fucking pissed when we came to her back yard. I lunged for Jasper, my jaws connecting with his left shoulder as we fought. I felt his solid blow to my hind leg and my jaws tore into his granite stone flesh, as Leah hurled herself over the top of us and landed with a roar by Bella's front door.

I saw the door open and Jaspers gaze grow fixed on Bella as she stumbled out of the house, Charlie fast behind her. The sight of her causing me to shred his shoulder clean off. His arm now missing as he jumped to his feet and flew toward Leah.

Leah saw him coming and met him mid - air. Their collision like the sound of concrete being smashed by a wrecking ball. Snapping jaws and frantic hissing echoed loudly off the surrounding tree's. I saw Charlie pull Bella back toward the house, her eyes wide as they sought mine.

I suddenly heard the loud roar that came from Seth as he ran for Jasper who had wrapped his vice like arms around Leah. I ran after him and saw Paul make it to her first, plowing into Jasper and sending him soaring. His cat like reflexes making him land swiftly on his feet and the loss of his one arm not phasing him in the least.

His eyes darted from mine up to Bella's open bedroom window and I felt the wire that was wrapped around my insides, begin to shred them like butter with the knowledge of his intent. He darted up into the tree nearest to her room, his speed like lightning and his agility only further aiding him.

I phased back into human form and ran inside to hear her scream as Charlie grabbed his gun from the gun cabinet and pointed it directly at Jasper.

"Don't touch her." He yelled to him.

Jasper threw his head back in mocking laughter.

"Bullets don't work on the dead, you fool!" He hissed.

My tremors rocked through me like a tidal wave and I threw myself at Jasper, phasing when we collided and landing back on all fours in Charlie's living room. I sank my razor sharp teeth into his leg and drug him out through their open door, smashing my way through it and hauling him out onto the lawn. He hissed as I tore his right lower leg in half. His ankle clutched in my muzzle as he screamed out in rage.

"YOU STUPID MUTT! EDWARD SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE!"

I tossed his lower leg into the woods and phased back into human form, stalking toward him. "Well, he didn't get the fucking chance, did he?" I seethed, catching a box of matches that Seth had retrieved from his pocket and thrown my way. His human form standing off to the side next to Leah, who remained in wolf stature. I struck the match and watched Jasper's eyes grow wide. "Whose the stupid fucking one, now?"

I gave Paul one nod and he came running, his jaws clamping down around Jasper's throat and separating his head from his body. I tossed the lit match onto his remains and watched the purple smoke billow up into the air. My eyes fixed on the fire that raged high.

Leah retrieved his other appendages from the woods and added them to the burn pile. Her wolf eyes watchful of me as I phased back into wolf form and ordered them to keep watch of Bella's house for the evening. I wasn't willing to take the chance that there may be more of them coming.

I paced back and forth by the woods, watching and waiting till sun set came and the day turned into night.

"_You're losing yourself, Black."_ Leah huffed. _"Don't go too far down this road... may not be so easy to get yourself back."_

_"I know what I'm doing_." I snapped her way.

_"You think you do_."

I narrowed my eyes at her and she quickly back pedaled. "_This can swallow you whole. You damn well know that and I know why you're doing it. You're going to Voltera. To kill them all so there is no more threat hanging over Bella's head, or looming over the future you want with her._"

I turned to her, seeing her huff profusely in protest.

_"You're not to say a word, Leah. I will talk to Sam and have a meeting when Emily has the baby next week_."

_"Is that an order?"_

_"Yes. It. Is_." I replied firmly to her.

Leah huffed again. "_Jake... be careful._.." She cautioned and turned to head for home. Her strides becoming matched with Seth's.

I glanced toward the house and Saw Bella step outside, her eyes scanning the trees and mine drinking her in. Her long mahogany hair blowing in the cold autumn wind, and her cheeks flush with the chill from it.

I took a few steps toward her and saw her lean against Charlie's cruiser. Her sorrowful look enough to make me phase back and slip on some shorts I'd sent Paul for earlier.

She looked lost and I felt fucking lost myself...

The stir of desire for her rose up and I cursed it, feeling trapped in my own damn body. The mere sight of her evoking me to step forward.

My arms craved to hold her delicate frame and my lips missed the taste of hers. It had been weeks since we'd been alone... weeks since I'd wrapped my arms around her at night. It wasn't that I didn't want to... it was that I'd grown fucking numb to any sense of real feeling since surrendering over to the instinct of the Alpha. I'd learned that it didn't have time for anything but duty and all else fell to the wayside.

I emerged from the cover of the tree line and saw her begin to walk my way. Her steps cautious and her eyes adverting mine most of the way. Her timid stance small and uncertain when she stopped in front of me, barely out of arms reach.

"You're on watch tonight?" She asked.

I nodded and glanced toward the house to see Charlie pacing by her truck. His look of concern grabbing my attention. I was almost certain she'd shared with him how messed up I'd been lately.

"I left your dad a note..."

"I know..."

She sighed heavily and slowly raised her head to meet my gaze. "I... I figured... some distance... right now would be... good for you? For us?"

I opened my mouth to say something, my mind flooding with the harsh words of my father from earlier... "Talk to her before it's too late..."

The wave of her hand stopped me as her eyes met mine again.

She looked utterly exhausted, whether it was from the events that transpired with Jasper, or what a mess I had made us lately... I wasn't sure which, but her eyes told me how tired she truly was without her mouth having to utter a word.

"Nevermind..." She whispered... "Good night, Jacob..."

She turned on her heel and walked away from me, her simple dismissal striking me hard.

My eyes remained fixed on her until she reached Charlie and they retreated back inside. I could see it there in her gaze... the light that was missing... the light that I'd ripped out... The losing battle within herself to hang on to us... to me... in this maniacal form.

I'd left her with a ghost of the man she fell in love with.

"Fuck!" I cursed, shaking my head and growing angry... at myself... at the beast I'd embraced... all of it.

Why the hell would she hold onto this version of me? Who the hell could blame her for throwing in the towel if she chose to. I'd given her nothing these last few weeks... nothing to cling to... nothing to fight for.

The tremors began to spread rapidly through me and I threw my fist into a nearby tree. The force of the hit, splitting my knuckles open and the blood pouring from them as I cursed again.

"Shit!" I yelled, watching the steady stream of red glide down over my hand and trickling its way down my forearm.

She was tired... who the fuck wouldn't be... she was starting to give up.

I glanced back toward the house to see her bedroom light still on. The small window calling me like a lighthouse in a raging storm at sea.

The wolf within began to rear it's raging head as my tremors continued and I fought them off for the first time in weeks. My gaze staying locked on her bedroom window as the pain from the war within me, crept it's way over my body. My hands dug into the tree in front of me as the beast tried to claw it's way out against the mans will. My sudden protest making it angry.

The pain became unbearable and knocked me to the forest floor. Every muscle in my body feeling like it had been stretched beyond it's limit. My bones protesting the change and my head throbbing like I'd been hit with a hammer.

I held my ground as a slew of profanity fell from my lips and my body began to shake with the force of the tremors that had yet to cease.

My hands tore into the marshy ground beneath me as my eyes fell on Bella's lit bedroom window, my focus becoming grounded there until I felt the rocking tremors begin to subside and the scorching heat recede, finally releasing it's choke hold on me.

I gasped and felt my body cave fully to the ground. My days and days of running on empty and warring with myself, doing me in now from exhaustion. I had no more fight left in me tonight... or maybe I had just enough to get to her...

I forced myself to get back up, every move painful and everything in me wanting to collapse there in the forest and succumb to the heavy weight of exhaustion.

I sucked in a few breaths and trudged forward, making it to her front lawn and sinking down to my knees there from the throbbing that still thundered it's way through my head. I cursed again, knowing that my body was fighting every step I took.

I leaned back and placed my throbbing head in my hands, my stomach churning from the constant pounding.

The feel of delicate hands wrapping around mine had my head lifting and my eyes soon searching Bella's. She had sunk down there in front of me, taking my face in her hands.

"Jake!" She breathed, her eyes roaming over me and seeing the dried blood on my forearm. "Wh... what happened?... what's wrong?"

I shook my head and reached for her, wrapping my arms around her petite frame and drawing her as close to me as I could get her. Her returning embrace like a safe harbor for me... like home for my tattered and tired soul.

"Tell me what to do." She cried, her voice full of tears.

I tightened my grip on her and hoped that was answer enough for right now.

I took shelter in her being this close, feeling the man I was yearn for her like the very next breath I took.

She moved back slowly from my embrace and I felt her fingers lace with mine as her lips came to press against my forehead.

"Jacob..." She breathed... "I love you... in any form... remember?"

I felt her fingers slip away from mine as she tried to help me to my feet. I struggled and kept as much of my weight off her as I could, while we stumbled for the house.

"Almost there." She whispered when we made it in through the door. I stumbled to their couch and sank down, my head still screaming.

Stop... Please fucking stop...

Bella grabbed a blanket and draped it over my shoulders. She abruptly turned and I reached for her, catching her hand in mine and seeing her spin back around toward me.

"I'm just gonna get you some water... I'll be right back." She whispered, her eyes glistening with remaining tears.

I reluctantly released her hand and laid back on the couch. My eyes heavy and my body craving rest. I had pushed myself as far as I could go.

"Here..." Bella whispered, handing me the glass of water and taking it from me when I had guzzled it down empty.

She turned back and headed for the kitchen and I forced my voice to work.

For shit's sake... Say something... Say something...

"Bells..." I breathed, seeing her stop where she was and slowly turn back with the empty glass in her trembling hands. "Stay... I. Need. You ... ... please."

I gestured for her to lay with me and watched her nearly drop the glass and scramble into my awaiting arms. She tucked herself into my side and I drew her near. My eyes too fucking heavy to keep open any longer and the sound of her erratic heart beat lulling me further and further into the sleep I had fought off for weeks now...

The soft feel of Bella's lips brushing my cheek as my eyes fully closed causing my hold on her to tighten.

... 432 irreplaceable beats of her heart being the last sound I heard...


	42. Chapter 43

**A/N: Hi everyone! Let me start by saying how sorry I am for not being able to post a new chapter mid - week. Things have been extremely busy around here lately! But I made this chapter a long one in hopes to make it up to you! As always, thank you for all the support you offer and I look forward to your reviews :) HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER FORTY - THREE**

"The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper." -Aristotle-

**(JPOV)**

My entire body felt wrecked from the moment my eyes opened and I tried to move. The under tow I had been caught in for weeks had spit me out and left me feeling like I'd been hit by a mac truck. I was thoroughly exhausted.

The mere feel of Bella curled into me, her head on my chest and her leg tangled with mine, had pulled me away from the pain and into her. Her simple embrace enough to keep me here... to keep me grounded... at least for a little while.

I had to get moving... I had patrol to run... But my body protested at the smallest damn movement.

I felt the delicate touch of her caress and my movements stilled. Her lips coming to press against the groove of my neck as she pressed herself closer in to me.

"Stay... please ... just stay..."

Her whisper was barely audible and her tone was near pleading when she spoke. I tightened my grip on her and closed my eyes, not having the fight within me to deny her simple request.

The sound of Charlie's raised tone awoke me some time later... "This is insane! Shit's sake, Bella! Is this the kind of chaos we're all going to be living in from here on out?!"

I slowly sat up, feeling my body still sore but more tolerable to move now.

"Shhh! Dad... keep it down!"

"Keep it down?" He whispered harshly. "What happened yesterday was dangerous! There has to be more that I can do besides just watch these demons come after you one by one!"

"Dad... Jacob and the pack will take care of it. You don't need to worry!-"

"On the contrary!" Charlie interjected. "I think I do! And I think I'll go talk to Billy this afternoon... try to... mend... some fences over there and ask him how I can help. Gotta make some calls about getting the front door fixed, too."

I got to my feet just as Charlie was headed out. He stopped and glanced my way, his look weary when he addressed me.

"Good to see you're up... How ya' feeling after last night?"

"Sore..." I rasped in reply. "I'm sorry about the damage to the door, Charlie. I can help you fix it."

Charlie nodded and grabbed his jacket from the coat rack. "That was... something else... " He sighed. "Don't worry about the door, bout' time for a new one anyway. Stay and rest as long as you need. I'll be back later after my shift at the station."

"Thanks Charlie." I sighed.

"Sure thing... son."

I raised my head to meet his sincere gaze upon hearing the last word. He called me son... The way he used to... before he learned what I was.

Charlie nodded my way once more as he headed out into the cold. The rush of Fall wind causing Bella to shiver when she approached me.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Almost noon. Do you feel any better?"

"Somewhat..."

I could sense her worry as her eyes swept over me. Her look growing uneasy when she noticed me glance over to the clock on the wall. I had to leave and I knew where her concern was coming from. I had been a fucking mess lately.

"Running patrol later?" She questioned.

"Yea... with Paul."

She nodded and abruptly turned on her heel, heading for the kitchen. Guilt barreled into me as I followed close behind her. I'd put her through hell these last few weeks... made her unsure of us... or what the fuck was wrong with me... it wasn't fair.

"I can make you ... something to eat if you want? We had some lunch ... lasagna... There's plenty left? You must be hungry?"

"Famished." I chuckled. Seeing her smile as she busied herself with fixing me a plate.

I sat down at the kitchen table and watched her intently. The distant feeling between the two of us enough to make me cuss under my breath. She was right in front of me, but she felt a thousand miles away. I hated that the beast within had placed us here... leaving everything so raw and exposed. My eyes trailed down over her form, drinking every last damn ounce of her in... the way she moved ... the way she would nervously bite that bottom lip ... the way she'd tuck those long locks of mahogany hair behind her ear. Every small and seemingly simple gesture, I observed... Even picking up now on her change in heart's pace... the beat louder and faster... nervous.

She set a well rounded plate in front of me and offered me a glass of water with half a smile. I returned it before she began doing the many dishes in the sink... a way to keep her hands busy and her racing mind preoccupied, I was sure.

I'd made her this uncertain of us and the knowledge of that cut me deeper than ever before. She seemed as though she didn't know how to act around me anymore... what to say or what to do. Who the hell could blame her really? I didn't even fucking know how to be around myself as of lately. She'd been forced to tip toe around me the last month, never knowing from one damn day to the next what would take place with me. My mind flooded with the memory of the last time we were in a kitchen together. The sound of shattering glass echoing through my head and the scared look on her face before I'd taken off into the woods.

Damn it...

I pushed the empty plate away and felt my anger from all this shit start to grow. The heat beginning to lick it's way around my body and the sleeping beast beginning to rise from it's slumber. I drew in a sharp breath and focused my gaze on Bella, just as I had the night before. I clung to the sight of her, my hands balling into fists on the table and feeling like I was gonna be torn apart from the inside out. I shot a glance at the stove clock that read 12:31 p.m.

I had to go... had to surrender to it. Selfishly I wanted more time with her. More time to just be with her, but Alpha duty called and it would not be ignored.

I arose from the table and approached her from behind, placing the plate in the sink and lingering for a moment. She stilled there beside me and her eyes met mine. The look in them sorrowful.

"Are you staying here? Tonight?" I sighed, my heart heavy to think of her not at my house, waiting for me when I returned..

"I'm not sure..." She whispered, her hands going back to scrub each remaining dirty dish.

I reached my hand in the warm suds, and took the dish rag from her, effectively stopping her from rubbing the pattern of the plate clean off. She glanced back up with a heavy sigh. "Yea... I guess that one's clean enough..."

"I don't think you could get it any cleaner, Bells." I chuckled, feeling her hands come out of the water as she reached for a dry towel.

Her eyes sought mine with emotion swimming in them. "That's... the... second time you've ... called me Bells... in a while..."

She was right. I had been so impersonal lately that I hadn't even used her nickname... in days... weeks even. I reached for her, drawing her body close to mine and feeling the timidness in her returning embrace.

"Bells... I'm sorry. I wish I could promise that it won't happen again, but it would be an empty promise, honey."

"Tell me what's going on with you... where have you been these past few weeks?"

I saw the desperation in her gaze and couldn't deny her the truth of the raging war within me. Her hands came to cradle my face with care, her concerned touch enough to make me surrender some of the truth.

"I feel like I'm losing myself, Bells... I don't... know where I begin and the animal ends."

"What can I do?" She sighed. "I wanna help you... I hate seeing you struggle like this."

"You do... You help me more than you know. I understand why you left... I don't blame you..."

She kissed me tenderly on the lips and her genuine reply gripped me hard.

"Jacob... I promised you a long time ago, in my old beat up truck, outside this very house, that I wouldn't ever let you lose yourself... Remember?" She whispered, leaning up on her tip toes to kiss my forehead. "I will love you in whatever form you take... today... tomorrow... years from now. That's a promise from me to you and it's far from empty. Me leaving your house wasn't me throwing in the fight... or giving up... that was just my way of trying to get my head straight for a few nights... maybe give you some space... whatever you need."

"I don't want space." I interjected, tightening my hold on her. "I know these last weeks have been hell on you, too. I know I've scared you... confused you... and I'm sorry. But, I love you... No matter what the animal may portray right now... I. Love. You-"

Her lips were on mine before the last word had fully left my mouth. Her kiss insistent and full of need. Like she was drowning and wanted me to save her. Little did she know... she was saving me and had been all along.

I felt her body mold to mine, every inch of her pressed tight against me as I deepened the kiss and heard her breathy moan. My hands slid up under her shirt, feeling the creamy skin of her back under my palms. Her hands were soon in my hair and her heart began to race.

Like someone had liquored me up all night, I became drunk on her kiss... the taste of her lips... the feel of her tongue sweeping mine like velvet. My body began to light with the kind of heated fire that only she could ignite. Hot need swam in her eyes when she broke our kiss and though her mouth told me otherwise, that look screamed something else to me.

"S-Sorry..." She sighed, slowly backing away from me. "I know you have to go...-"

I forced myself to look away from her, forced myself to leave. My silent nod being my only reply as I headed for the door, cursing like a sailor under my breath the whole way there. I knew I had a duty... a responsibility... but right now I craved her body to be with mine in a way I could not describe. The feeling of need almost palpable for me.

I managed to make it down over her steps before I paused and the images of her smooth and delicately divine naked form came rushing like a rivers rapid through my mind. I took another step and stopped where I was when the memory of her moaning my name echoed around the confines of my mind. My eyes were fixed on the trees ahead of me, but my ears were in tuned to the pounding heart that came from inside her house.

"Fuck it." I cursed, whirling back around and taking her steps in two long strides before entering the house again. I saw her jump back from the door way. Her eyes glossy when they met mine.

She had been just on the other side of the door... waiting... hoping...

It had been weeks... fucking weeks since I'd laid her down and poured all of who I was into her. Weeks since I'd worshiped her body the way it should be. Weeks since I'd tasted her sweet flesh under my tongue... weeks since my name had come tumbling from that mouth.

Long enough... too damn long.

I reached for her, swiftly pressing her body firmly back to mine, an audible gasp leaving her mouth before I claimed it with my own.

My hands were everywhere... In her hair... under her shirt... cupping her breasts ... roaming her sweet ass...

She removed her shirt and I drank in the sight of her like a tall glass of water to a man who'd been walking the desert for days with no sign of water in sight. Her cheeks were already flush when she met my heated gaze and unclasped her bra, leaving her bare breasts on display for me, as her hands reached for the top of my shorts, her fingers daftly undoing the button and zipper. I stepped out of them and watched her remove her jeans, sliding them slowly down over her hips and legs, as she nervously drew her bottom lip into her mouth.

I scooped her up in my arms, feeling her wrap her legs tightly around me. The aroma of her arousal causing my dick to twitch and strain against the confines of my boxers, as her lips sought mine with a moan.

I started to head for the stairs with her and changed my course of direction when I felt her teeth gently bite down on my bottom lip. A low growl left me as I headed into the kitchen, securely holding her to me with one arm, and clearing any dishes on the table with the other. The crashing sound of the few plates and glasses that remained, echoed around the kitchen as I placed her there. My whole being craving to be consumed in her.

I felt the raw animalistic desire rock through me when my mouth began to wander over her pert nipples, my tongue swirling around each one and feeling her back arch off the table with her audible groan. My mouth began to wonder down the soft flesh of her abdomen and further down to the apex of her thighs. I ripped her lace panties off her, letting them fall to the floor.

The intoxicating aroma of her arousal making me eager to rid her of any offending barriers between us.

The kitchen filled with the whimper of my name when my tongue tasted the sweet flesh of her slick folds. The feel of her under my tongue like that of fine silk. I circled her sweet spot and felt her squirm with a gasp. Her arousal tasting like a fine liquor to me that could never be bought or sold.

"I love the way you taste, honey. Lie back and let me make you cum."

She listened to my request and willingly submitted to it.

The euphoric high that surged through me at the feel of her under my tongue along with the sound of her ragged panting, and her moans of pleasure, had me rock hard and aching to be sheathed deep in her. I continued to work my tongue over her sensitive flesh until she was begging. Her words strained with need and near pleading with me for more.

"Jake... Please..."

I kept my eyes on her as I stepped out of my boxers, seeing her gaze take me in with hunger behind it. I pulled her body down, perching her on the edge of the wooden table, as she abruptly sat up, her delicate hand becoming a guide, and her legs wrapping around me. My eyes locked with hers and I entered her without reprieve. Her head coming to fall back and her eyes soon closing with fulfillment. My hands held her securely in place as I entered her... again and again. Each thrust of mine followed by a cry from her. I watched her intently, seeing her lose herself like this made my rhythm pick up and my grip on her tighten all the more.

The look of flush warm color settling into her ivory cheeks from our contact, was beautiful. Her groans of ecstasy and the feel of her tightly wrapped around me, had the force of my thrusts quickly changing to a punishing rhythm. My gaze roaming over her face, intently observing her every expression.

Her cries became louder and her thighs began to shake when I felt her insides contract hard around me. Her back arching and her breasts thrusting upward with her climax.

The beast within began to thrash wildly and I felt the heat thread it's way around my spine and seep into my every limb. My body fighting it off as my gaze stayed on Bella.

"Jacob..."

The way she said my name... The sound of it leaving her mouth... gripping my soul with her own heart.

The beast within roared at me in fury. A single word entering my mind over and over again with every thrust... "MINE."

I felt the Alpha spirit wash over me, dousing me in it's raw unfettered desire and causing my hold on it's power to slip. Bella's trembling thighs and breathy moan of bliss was my undoing. I threaded my arms under her, lifting her upright to kiss her thoroughly before hauling her to her feet and abruptly spinning her around to face the table. Her long dark tresses spilling down her back as she gripped the table for support. Her whole body now trembling as I entered her from behind, my hands gripping her hips to steady her. The cry that left her filled the empty house and set off the caged beast within who shook it with fury. The single and heavy word weighing on my mind, and growing louder along with Bella's cries of pleasure.

Mine... Mine... Mine...

"Fuck..." I cussed aloud, feeling it overpower me and leaving me a forced submissive. My thrusts harsh... powerful and unrelenting. I tried to fight against the heavy weight of the beasts power, my body tensing as I neared my own release and feeling Bella's orgasm start to consume her, as her grip on the table started to weaken. I wrapped my arm around her waist to support her weight and felt my release rock through me, pulsing and spilling myself within her. The sound of her last few cries and her sprinting heart, filling my mind and overwhelming my senses.

I soon stilled, sensing the beast's rage slowly recede back into it's confining cage as I withdrew myself from her. She turned herself into me, her lips meeting mine with a soft kiss and a breathy giggle. The sound of it easing my silent fears that I'd been too rough with her. I kissed her back, drawing her body closer to mine and feeling the length of me swell again.

"You're sooo late now." She sighed, her lips brushing mine.

"Some things are worth being late for, honey. You're definitely one of them."

Her eyes met mine with sincerity when she replied. "I love the way you make me feel, Jacob. I've missed you... so much."

"I've missed you..."

The sound of her cell ringing stopped my hands from roaming any further and harshly brought me back down to reality. Bella quietly gathered her clothes, quickly throwing on her shirt as I slipped on my shorts.

"That was Paul. They're probably looking for you." She sighed, holding up her cell.

I took her face in my hands and kissed her, my desire for her still remaining when I released her to leave.

"I love you, honey. I should be back before dark." I sighed, my heart heavy to remember she would be here and not on the Reservation tonight. "I'll stop in later?"

"I love you, too and I'll be here waiting. I'm gonna stop by the hospital and visit Emily for a while."

"She'll love that I'm sure. Give her my best?"

She nodded to me with a smile as I headed out, feeling the Fall wind whip around me when I stepped outside. I took off for the forest, my running strides fast to meet Quil and Embry and relieve them from patrol duty for the afternoon.

My thoughts were soon shared... "_Bout time you showed up_." Quil chuckled.

"_Where ya been Jake_?" Embry asked.

Like an open book that's pages blew in the wind, my head filled with the images of Bella's naked form.

"_No further explanation needed_." Quil laughed, a knowing sarcasm behind his tone.

"_Yea Bro... who could blame you there_!"

"_EASY!"_ I warned with a snarl to them when I reached their meeting point. Seeing Seth approach with a huff. He was running patrol with me this afternoon and I was glad he didn't add in his two cents upon the matter of Bella. He was often more reserved and respectful than some of the others, another one of his qualities I admired.

"_Alright... go get some rest... see you two for the council meeting tomorrow night."_ I huffed, excusing them from us and hearing Seths thoughts cut in as they took off for home.

"_Leah's scheduled for patrol in the morning, right?"_ He asked.

"_She and Paul both are... why_?"

_"She's been real sick since last night. Spent the morning tossing her cookies. Mom's home taking care of her but I don't think she'll be up for running. Just a heads up."_

"_Flu_?" I asked.

_"I'm not sure. She's been sick off and on since last weekend. Just hasn't said much to us about it till now. Mom's making her go to the doc's if she don't turn around for the better here soon."_

_"Tell her she doesn't need to do patrol tomorrow. I'll have Embry run the border with Paul. She can pick up his shift a different day when she's better. No problem_."

"_She'll try to do it anyway... you know Leah... stubborn as the day is long_." Seth chuckled as we took off. Running with the speed of wind through the changing forest. The leaves now all prominent colors of the Fall season.

"_We'll see. I don't want her out here unless she's fully recovered. She needs to be ready... for anything_."

"_Emily's having the baby in a few days, huh?"_

"_Yea... Sam's a nervous wreck."_

"_He's really made one hell of a turn around!"_

_"He has." I huffed with pride, thinking back on how far he'd come from months ago._

_"He'll be a great father... just like you will be when you and Bella have kids of your own_."

My pace faltered at his remark. My mind slipping into the dark gallows of my plan for Voltera. Seth skidded to an immediate stop. His paws dragging into the earth beneath us with great force. I followed suit, turning back and meeting his wolf gaze.

"_You're going to Voltera_!?"

I mentally cursed the wolf telepathy we shared and tried to cover my tracks a bit.

"_Seth... I..."_

"_No way, Jake! You can't sell me some story now ... You're really going. Who knows about this?"_

**"NO ONE... AND IT'S TO STAY THAT WAY TILL ORDERED OTHERWISE**!" I barked harshly with Alpha command laced in my tone.

Seth took a cautionary step back, his head bowing at the order. _"Understood_."

We continued on with silence as patrol lingered on into the early hours of the evening. My harshness with him seeming to have made the point to keep silent upon the matter.

When we reached the river, Seth finally shared his thoughts.

"_You're not thinking of going alone are you_?" He huffed.

"_No... I have a plan. When the time is right, all of you will know. Everything will be revealed in good time, Seth_."

"_That's why you're different lately_." He stated in recognition.

I glanced over to see him sink down on his haunches by the rivers edge. His look of worry catching my attention.

"_I'm alright, Seth_." I assured, lying a bit to him and to myself.

"_I know how this can go. I've read the legends and heard the stories. You can lose who you are, man_."

_"I know the risk... it's worth taking..."_

_"For Bella..."_

_"For her... and more_..."

Seth huffed and took a few steps my way._ "More?"_

His eyes met mine and the look in them told me he understood before his thoughts did.

"_Your future with her." He_ stated.

_"I want it all... and I won't let the demons in Voltera rob her or myself of it. They've toyed with her long enough... now it's my turn to set the rules of the game_."

"_You know I'm with you, right? I'd fight with you._" He huffed.

"_I know you would. That's the kind of noble person you are, Seth. It doesn't go un - noticed."_

_"Thanks bro_."

We headed back to the lumber yard to trade off shifts, picking up on no new scent or cause of concern along the way. I headed for home and stopped when I reached my back yard. My body feeling the change coming and the beast angry to be caged once again. Like a rip tide crashing over me, pain shot through my every muscle, nearly drowning me in the torment. I felt the heat roll down my spine in protest as I tried to phase back to human form. Profanity coming from my lips as I pushed onward, despite the pain and aching in my bones. The vision of Bella's face came to me, and I focused on it as the pain took hold of me in another wave of agony. My body felt like it was being pulled apart as skin soon replaced the russet fur and I gasped aloud, falling on my knees in the back yard. I sucked in a breath and tried to move, my head pounding just as the night before and each movement excruciating as I got to my feet.

I pulled on my shorts and felt my nose sting as blood began to drip down. "Fucking Hell!" I cussed, staggering into my garage, and wiping away at the nose bleed, as I searched for a rag on my work bench. My stomach churned at the rustic taste of the blood running into the back of my throat as I tilted my head back to stop it's steady flow.

After a few short minutes, the bleeding seized and my stomach heaved it's contents into the near by trash can I kept in the garage. The heaving motion itself painful. I wiped my mouth and headed for the house, my steps slow as I went in.

My father took one look at me and wheeled himself over in a hurry. "Jacob... You look..."

"Like hell." I rasped, heading into the bathroom for a shower and brushing the horrid taste of vomit from my mouth. I turned the water on scolding hot and felt it ease some of the throbbing pain that had settled into my muscles from the phase back.

When I emerged a few minutes later, I saw my father's worried gaze meet mine. His look of concern evident.

"Jacob-"

"I'll be alright..." I breathed, sitting in the living room with him. My head's pounding ache enough to make me want to heave again.

"You're pushing this too far. Son... you have to listen to me. I've seen this go too far the other way."

"Dad... You have to trust me." I whispered, placing my throbbing head in my hands and hearing a sudden knock on the front door.

"I'll get it." Billy sighed.

My father had a valid point and I knew my limits were being pushed beyond their breaking points, but it would be well worth it when I destroyed Voltera... when I turned that fucking palace into ash.

I lifted my head at the sound of my fathers voice. "You came back... With a bag too, I see."

My father came wheeling back into the living room with a wide smile as Bella followed him in. Both arms carrying a bag.

"Look who wandered back into our part of the woods." Billy laughed.

"Bells..."

She offered me a small smile as she set her bags on the floor. "This is where I wanna be... Where I belong... if that's okay, of course?"

"Of course it's okay!" Billy piped up, his smile wide. "We'd be glad to have you here again. Isn't that right, son?"

I met her gaze and saw her eyes glisten with emotion as I got to my feet and wrapped my arms around her.

"Always..."

My father disappeared into the kitchen, giving us a moment alone. I saw her look of concern when her hands came to cradle my face. "I should've called first, but-"

I silenced her with a passionate kiss and felt her wrap her arms around my neck as I held onto her like a life line from the raging sea of the beast within.

"I want you with me... always..." I confessed to her.

"I'm sorry I left in the first place. I love you, Jacob Ephraim." She sighed, kissing me once more before placing her bags in my room. The sight of it making my heart warm.

She helped Billy finish heating up the dinner Sue Clearwater had left earlier, and was soon serving huge plates of spaghetti to each of us. She offered it to me and I forced myself to eat something, mainly for her benefit, despite the protest of my stomach.

After half a plate, I was done and tossed the rest of it into the trash when she had turned away from me to make Billy a cup of coffee. I set the empty plate next to dads on the sideboard and felt my fathers watchful gaze upon me when I sank back down on the couch.

I laid back and closed my eyes, just long enough for the incessant pain in my head to stop and my body to relax. Bella's chattering with Billy came to a sudden stop and I heard her approaching footsteps.

I opened my eyes to see her face full of worry, a look I hated to cause her.

"You weren't hungry? Since when do you stop at half a plate?" She whispered to me.

"Just exhausted..."

Her thoughtful gaze roamed over me when I reached for her hand.

"Can I get you anything else." She offered.

I nodded and pulled her toward me, my lips mere inches from hers when I spoke. "You..."

She said a polite good night to Billy and helped him get settled in for the evening, before returning to me and shutting off all the lights in the house.

Her hand took mine when I rose from the couch. Her words soft and genuine when we entered my room. "Let me take care of you tonight..."

I watched her strip down to nothing but her T-shirt and her caring eyes meet mine when I joined her on the bed, laying back and taking her with me. It had been too long since I'd held her all night like this and I was eager to draw her body into mine. My arms holding her close to me and her whispered words lingering in the small confines of my room.

"You're where I belong, Jacob. You're my home."

"... and you're mine..."

My eyes were heavy when I felt her nestle her face into the groove of my neck. Her mere closeness a comfort to me beyond words. I took shelter in her and slipped into a deep sleep.

Hours passed until I was awakened by a sudden unquiet feeling that overwhelmed me. My arms instinctively tightening around Bella as my ears listened to the sound of an approaching vehicle. The tumultuous sound of tires crushing fine gravel as it approached my house. I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand, seeing it read only 2:45 in the morning. The creeping sound of the tires edging closer when I slowly left Bella's embrace and threw on my jeans, my insides crawling and the beast within screaming at me that something wasn't right.

I headed out into the living room, peering out the window to see Charlie's cruiser pulling up next to Bella's truck at a snail's pace. I opened the door for him when he approached the house, his hand shakily clutching a single piece of scrolled paper, and his look fierce when his gaze met mine.

"Charlie..." I began, as he held the paper out to me. My eyes examining the fancy italic lettering and the prominent letter "A" written in the middle of it ... in a shade of rustic red ... The shade of dried blood.

I snatched it from him, my own hands beginning to shake with fury as I stared at the tangible evidence that Aro had returned to Voltera and was keeping a watchful eye on Bella... My Bells.

My tremors began to hit me with unstoppable force, rocking throughout my frame in waves.

"I knew you needed to see this... Now... I didn't think waiting till morning would be wise. Found it in my damn mailbox after my night shift at the station. Nothing in my house was missing... but Bella's room was trashed... riffled through... like whoever was in there was looking for something particular."

"No... it wouldn't have been wise to wait. You bringing me this was the right thing to do. They left nothing else?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"No... Not that I could see-"

A soft voice cut into our conversation and I forced myself to reign in the hot anger that had my tremors igniting like wildfire.

"Dad?" Bella asked, her voice still heavy with sleep. "What... what are you... doing here? Is everything ok?"

I raised my head and met Charlie's gaze, seeing his anger melt into immense worry when he laid eyes on her. The kind of worry that told me he now fully understood how real this was.

Tender fingertips grazed my arm as she approached us, her confused look growing horrified when she saw the scrolled letter I had clutched in my hand.

She took it from me, looking it over with wide eyes of fear. "Aro..." She breathed. "Wh... Where... where did you find this?"

I took it back from her trembling hands and drew her into my side, hearing the panic in her voice and her heart leap into the beat of a dead run when she spoke.

"At home. Found it in our mailbox a few minutes ago. Brought it over to Jake as soon as I could."

"He... he was at the house... tonight? ... He could've... oh god... he could've killed you if you'd been there!" She gasped, throwing her arms around Charlie.

"But I'm okay, Bella... It's not me I'm worried about." Charlie replied, his voice strained on the last few words.

My father emerged then from his room, wheeling himself out to join us. His gaze going directly to me and lingering on the paper I held. He approached me slowly, taking in the lettering and his face soon contorting with anger.

"The sure work of a cold demon..." He said in a low tone. His eyes falling on Charlie and Bella hugging by the door.

"Charlie... stay here tonight... it's for your own safety. Please old friend...?"

Charlie released Bella and let out a heavy sigh as he shut the door behind him with Bella close at his side. "Yea... Sure... Thanks Billy. I figure you're right. After all, Bullets don't work on the dead."

"As I told you earlier this afternoon my friend, the best thing you can do to help Bella now is to stay safe and be on high alert." Billy explained.

He nodded his head in understanding, though his expression clearly showed his agitation and frustration.

"I'll get you some blankets dad." Bella soon offered, kissing him on the cheek and heading off to retrieve them from the small hall closet.

Charlie approached me, his whisper low. "I don't want her back home till you catch this sick son of a bitch and any of his damn disciples, too."

"Agreed." I replied, feeling the heat lick angrily up my spine and spread with rapid speed through my body.

I crumpled the paper in my closed fist and headed outside, straight for the dark woods. I was half way to the bordering trees when the sound of Bella calling my name halted me where I was. The panic in her tone stopping me, as I turned back just in time to see her come running. Her body colliding with mine when I caught her in my arms, and her lips capturing my own in a desperate kiss that revealed her fear for me.

"I'll come back as soon as I can, honey. Stay here... "

She nodded frantically when I released her, seeing her run back inside, and closing the door behind her. I took off running full sprint into the woods, stripping naked and feeling the raging beast within come out with claws digging and fury roaring, as I erupted into the animal that I was. My howl loudly covering the entirety of the surrounding forest.

I would burn them all before letting them touch her. Aro was fool enough to think he could rattle an Alpha's cage without paying the ultimate price for it... He would soon learn otherwise.


	43. Chapter 44

**CHAPTER FORTY - FOUR**

"All sacrifice and suffering is redemptive. It is used to either teach the individual or to help others. Nothing is by chance. -Arthur J. Russell-

**(BPOV)**

One small letter written in crimson red had my hands shaking and my heart pounding nearly out of my chest. The fleeting blissful state of warmth I had just been wrapped up in with Jacob, regretfully faded away from me, leaving the feel of ice water trickling through my veins and hair raising anxiety now charging through my system.

Aro had made it back to Voltera, his initialed letter reminding me that my days were numbered and my every move watched. My skin crawled to think that every damn future choice I made would be carefully observed. I slammed Jacob's front door behind me, the cold from the air seeping itself through my jeans and t-shirt and causing a violent shiver to run up my spine. The sound of a shattering howl slicing raggedly through the clam night air. I stayed there, gazing out the window and waiting as the hour passed, time seeming to crawl by.

I heard the tone of my father's voice soon ring clear through the room. "He runs like the wind that boy?"

I nodded, my eyes staying glued to the window, aimlessly searching through the pitch black of the night for any sign of my russet wolf.

"That's my son." Billy replied, his voice cracking on the last word and causing my attention to be adverted to him. I turned and met his stare, seeing the immense worry in his eyes when they came to settle on my own.

My father took notice and broached the subject with him.

"What's the look for, Billy? Something else going on with Jacob?"

Billy shook his head and remained silent, his dark eyes wandering over to the small framed picture of Jacob as a boy. A wide and classic Jacob grin on his young and innocent face, standing there on the beach. He couldn't have been more than ten when the photo was taken.

Billy took it in his hands, tracing the edge of the frame with his thumb, the look on his face solemn enough to have my father hedging forward.

"Billy... ?"

He cleared his throat and set the picture back in it's place, as he spoke. "You always want to protect your children... No matter how grown they are. That maternal instinct never fades. You will forever yearn to protect them, even when you can't. Seeing them in danger or in any kind of pain will always be agonizing. But how can you save them from that which their called for? How? How can you protect them from what resides within their own being... what they were born into?"

His words and the tone he spoke them in, had me moving forward, past my father and dropping down to his eye level.

"Within them?" I asked in a whisper.

He didn't speak or nod a reply, but none was needed for me to know, as my mind ran over the past few weeks... Jacob's sudden switch in mood. His anger rising to new levels... His distant and at times, cold demeanor to those he had always shown affection for... even me... even Billy... as if it wasn't Jacob at all... as if he'd been missing from his own being.

I heard my father speak next. "What does that mean? Within them? What's-"

Charlie was cut off by the sound of a loud howl coming from the front yard. I ran to the door, throwing it open to see Seth there in wolf form. His head shaking back and forth violently and his insistent barking drawing me to him, the pull almost magnetic.

"Seth... what... what is it?" I asked, trying to understand what he needed or what he was trying to communicate to me.

He whipped his head toward the forest and then abruptly back to me. His gaze fixed on mine with vivid intensity. I approached his wolf form, seeing him sink down with a loud huff, the realization of what he wanted soon sinking in. I went to climb on his back when a firm hand caught me by the arm and roughly pulled me away from him. Seth rose to his feet immediately with a menacing growl creeping out of his muzzle.

"No way in hell!" Charlie yelled to him, taking a few steps back with me in tow. I fought against his grip, pulling my arm free with a gasp.

"Let go of me! I have to go with him. Something's wrong. He's trying to show me... dad... please." I begged, hearing Billy's baritone surround us.

"You have to let her go, Charlie. Trust me... she could be no safer than with Jacob's pack. It's their duty to protect her. She's family to them. They'd all die for her without hesitation."

My father gripped me by the shoulders, his hold a bit jostling with his strained reply.. "You be careful, Bella."

I nodded frantically to him and turned on my heel to Seth, who was already back in his sunken down position, appearing to be ready to bolt at any minute. I climbed on, gripping his thick fur upon feeling him rise up and speed off into the night. The wind bitterly cold and harsh as it whipped around my body with the speed and force of a hurricane. I tucked myself in as close to him as I could get, cutting down some of the bitter chill and feeling him navigate the forest in great powerful strides.

Something horrible had to have taken place for Seth to come and get me. Jacob would never order him to do so unless absolutely necessary. The realization of this had my fear for Jacob increasing by the second... for something had to be very wrong.

We ran for miles and miles and I desperately clung to him until I felt his running strides diminish and soon halt. My body shook from the frigid air as Seth lowered himself back down and I climbed off his massive stature. The early rays of day light, barely seeping in through the clouds as dawn approached and the night began to fade. My eyes searched and saw nothing, the feel of a muzzle nudging me forward, my only sense of real direction.

"Where are we?" I questioned, looking around for anything familiar and seeing nothing.

Another howl suddenly echoed off the trees around us and my skin crawled to realize it hadn't come from Seth. I turned back to him, feeling the sick sense of dread invade my body.

"It's Jacob, isn't it? That's why you brought me here..." I whispered, seeing him huff and nod his head forward toward the direction ahead of us. My gaze followed and I soon saw Paul's wolf form emerge there, his barking just as insistent and Seth's had been before.

I ran for him, tripping over this branch and that rock and continuing on anyway. My adrenaline surging on high when I finally closed the distance between us.

That's when I saw him ... my russet wolf laying there on the forest floor, his head raising to meet my gaze when I stepped forward.

I heard the sound of Paul's baritone come from behind me when he spoke, alerting me he'd phased back to human form. "He can't phase back, Bella. He's tried countless times. Each time worse than the last..."

His words hit me like a harsh slap to the face. Shock overwhelming any thought.

"Wh... Wh... what do you mean he ... can't ... phase back?" I asked, approaching Jake's wolf form a cautionary step at a time and hearing a low whine escape him when I dropped to my knees there beside him. "...Worse than before?"

I felt dazed when I touched his fur, feeling the thickness of it slide through my fingers and my heart now beating painfully against my chest.

"I mean, he's given the animal too much control, allowed it to dominate him as the man. We've tried everything... He sent Seth for you."

I felt the hot tears run down my face when a warm muzzle brushed my neck and a soft huff came from Jacob.

"What can I do?" I asked, my tone pleading and desperate with Paul. "Tell me what to do to bring him back."

Paul shook his head in frustration and shot a glance over to Seth who had stayed in wolf form. "I don't know, Bella... Once you've given the animal more control than the man, it's a fucking struggle like no other to claw your way back out... To reclaim who you are. It's something I've never witnessed... only read about the legends of it. None of us have seen anything like it."

I glanced down to see Jacob curl himself around me when another shiver left me from the cold air. I siphoned his warmth and wracked my brain for a way to fix this as my silent tears continued.

How the hell did he get to this point? Was it too late to bring my Jacob back?

The sound of another whine had me laying there with him, surrounded by his warmth and running my hands through his beautiful russet fur over and over again.

The words left my mouth with sincerity and no regret when I spoke them in a whisper to him. "I love you, Jacob. In any form... You're my home... where I belong."

His only reply to me was when he nuzzled my hair, a low rumbling sound in his chest.

I laid there with him, seeing Paul phase back to his wolf and remain with Seth. Their continued pacing, the only sound besides that of the wind that blew. It was now morning and the sun had begun to shine brightly. The glow of it hitting Jacobs fur and highlighting it's richness in color. He was beautiful...

My emotions were raw when a sudden thought came crashing into me, causing me to sit up abruptly with a gasp.

"Paul!" I yelled, seeing him turn around to face me. "Sam... He. needs. Sam ... He can help him. I know he can! Got get him and tell him what happened to Jacob! He'll know what to do!"

Paul approached me with a huff, his form lowering down in a gesture for me to ride back with him. I inched myself in closer to Jacob, shaking my head strongly in protest. "No... You go... I'm not leaving him. I'm staying right here till you return with Sam... Hurry!"

He rose up and bolted off through the forest with the speed of sound as I nestled myself back into Jacob. The simple feel of him breathing and his radiant warmth, soothing to me.

Seth continued pacing as the time passed while we waited. My eyes grew impossibly heavy and I tried to keep them open for as long as I could, but the small nudge from Jacob had me curling into him and my eyes closing in minutes.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I heard a loud howl startle me awake. The noise jumping me and causing a growl of agitation to leave Jacob, who remained protectively wrapped around me.

The sight of Sam standing in his cut offs next to Paul and Seth, had me scrambling to my feet and hugging him. "Please help him... I don't know what to do... but I knew if anyone could help him... it was you."

Sams gaze turned to Jacob, his look genuinely worried and grave. "Bella... You have to understand what bringing him back entails. It's not just as simple as getting him to phase back to human form again, that alone will be a challenge enough... It's getting the man to take back the power from the wolf that can be fatal."

"Fatal?" I breathed, feeling the emotion swim in my eyes.

Sam nodded, his gaze fixed on Jacob. "Can be... yes. Taking that power back is torturous for the man. The beast within will fight him... the result... excruciating ... unendurable for him."

I was numb from his words. My head filling with the unwelcomed images of what Sam had just described. As if on cue, I saw Jacob rise from his resting position and square his shoulders with a loud huff when he looked to Sam.

"No... no.. wait..." I breathed, my emotion spilling down over my cheeks as I approached him, seeing his wolf gaze locked with mine and reading the vast determination there. He lowered his head for me and I hugged him fiercely, my heart screaming with fear when I reluctantly released him and felt a warm hand pull me back far away from him. I turned to see Paul there next to me, back on two legs. His look unreadable as he stared ahead and watched Sam phase, his human form erupting into a powerful mass of black fur before our very eyes. Seth approached us and kept his wolf eyes locked on them, intently watching along with us.

I wanted this all to be like a bad dream, one that I could wake up from, but when the sound of Sam's ear splitting howl carried through the forest, I knew this was a form of hell I couldn't wake up from.


	44. Chapter 45

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the week delay in posting. Been trying to find the time for more writing. Later tonight I will be posting part two of this chapter. As always... Thank you SO MUCH for the continued support. HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER FORTY - FIVE (PART ONE)**

"The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" -Edgar Allen Poe-

**(JPOV)**

My body was no longer my own. I had lost all grip on the feral beast within. Roaring with untamed fury when it broke through it's steel cage. His deafeningly loud snarl and the pain of his approaching dominance, submerged me in a world of torment. The tight leash from around his thick neck had snapped, breaking the iron chain and releasing any remaining hold I had on him. The cage was now wide open and no limits were known to his demanding spirit. He had been set free from his tight confines and now roamed throughout me... A hunter stalking their prey.

Like a levy had broke ... I could feel him enter my bloodstream with haste ... wrapping himself around every inch of my being like a vice, and unrelenting with his firm hold. The man struggled to fight him off but was soon dominated from the beasts power, leaving the man wracked with agony.

My pace suddenly faltered while running next to Paul. His thoughts blurring with my own when a feral growl invaded my mind. He halted his run as I began to shake my head, huffing profusely, trying to reign the beast back in and ultimately coming up on the losing side of this never ending raging war. For the man I was had dwelled too long with the beast within. Both of them residing in the one confining corridor of the human body, had taken it's heady toll.

I hit the forest floor with an angry and anguished scream.

In a moments notice, Paul was by my side, his head raising to let out a loud howl that invaded the forest.

"Jacob! Hey!" I heard him yell, our minds still linked.

The sound of Seth phasing in was abruptly cut off when my body surged with inflamed heat from the beast. His strength outweighing my own and forcing me into the black fucking hole of submission. I instantly phased to human form, naked on the ground, as I was invaded with bone crushing pain. The feeling, as if someone had shattered every fucking bone in both arms and legs at the same time.

I rolled to my side, and heard Paul now in human form, yell to me again.

"Jacob!"

I couldn't respond, all thought now null and void. My mind clinging desperately to the anchor that held me here ... Bella's beautiful face... the sound of her voice... the feel of her gentle touch. I quickly learned that these thoughts only further enraged the beast. His fury dousing me in anguish.

My bones began to rapidly shift as another scream left me. The pain drowning out her face from my minds eye and leaving me unable to focus on anything.

The sound of Seth's shaky yell surrounded us then.

"We have to do_ something_ for him!"

I didn't hear Paul's human voice respond, instead, I heard the sound of my own bones snapping. My screaming covering their words.

I had asked for this ... I had provoked it... craved it ... set it in fucking motion even, but as my body suddenly bowed and my human flesh was replaced with thick russet fur, covering me in more torment, I began to wonder if the man I was could survive this. How much fucking pain could one's own body withstand?

... 45 Dels of it? 57 Dels ... Maybe? ... The similarity of twenty bones being fractured at the same damn time.

... 206 bones in the human adult body... most, if not all of mine, felt entirely broken right now... And I'm barely fucking breathing... but I am**_ still here._**

My mind raced back to a time after the newborn battle with that sadistic red headed bitch, Victoria. The pain of Carlisle resetting my bones so they could heal right.

I thought that was torture ... I thought that was about as close to enduring unimaginable physical pain as I would ever come ... I was dead wrong.

This pain ... this kind of mind numbing pain, body bowing pain ... could surely kill someone ... I had no doubt.

I felt the beast invade my senses as I tried to get back up. My paws seeking any kind of fucking traction for me to use to regain my bearings. An angry roar left me at the liquid fire that threaded it's way around my spine, seeping painfully out to every limb and covering me entirely. I continued to struggle and tried to gain ground, every effort excruciating and proving to be futile.

I was trapped in my own personal hell as the beast within overtook me. I felt power anew rush through my veins like wildfire. My bones and muscles protesting the change and forcefully shifting to make adequate room for the conquering beast. The vessel of man I was, being pushed to the breaking point as I tried to use any dwindling human strength I had left, to take back my own body... I fought and I pushed back past the point of exhaustion, my remaining grip on him releasing with an angry roar from me.

Somewhere off in the close distance, I could hear Paul's voice calling out to me.

"Jacob!"

A hand reached out to touch the thick fur along my back, the beast instantly snapped at it. Pauls wide eyed expression seeming to appear both dazed and confused as he soon erupted into wolf form in an effort to communicate better with me.

"_Bro... For shit's sake say something! What the hell was that?"_

I couldn't respond, my mind now submerged with the loud and hostile thoughts of the beast. Paul huffed in agitation and stalked forward, my head snapping up in his direction and feeling the now threatening vibe his mere closeness brought. Challenge arose within me as I got to my feet, roaring mad and ready to fight him.

Seth's holler abruptly stopped us both. "This isn't YOU ANYMORE IS IT? ... you're now a guest in your own body... Jacob? What have you done?"

I reeled from his words as I sank to the ground, my head lowering with a huff.

I had known the risk's and I had taken them anyway. Bella's face soon invaded my thoughts... her disappointment when she learned this. I could survive like this If I had to. Set myself apart from human nature and human emotion... live on pure instinct and animal need, but it would leave her utterly empty. She needed the man more than just the wolf. How the fuck can I undo this?

I struggled to phase back... longing to just touch her... see her... anything human.

Fuck...

The more I tried, the more enraged the beast became. His protest to be tamed sent unendurable pain through me.

I was stuck here... a prisoner within myself without the needed key to be set free. I had toyed with the delicate balance of human and beast... man and wolf... and the wolf had won and trying to change the rip tide now was proving to be impossible. Once the stir of the beast had been ignited... nothing known could douse his fire.

I had awakened the true monster that laid just beneath the surface, erasing the traces of man along the way and leaving only the_ Alpha_ to remain.

The sound of Bella's approaching heartbeat had my head lifting and my ears raising to the rapid beating that drew near. Her scent carried with the wind and filled my senses, drawing the man in me to the surface. Her voice surrounded me as they approached, my eyes meeting hers to see her there with Paul and Seth. Their worried chatter filling my head.

"He can't phase back, Bella. He's tried countless times. Each time worse than the last."

"Wh... Wh... What do you mean he ... can't... phase back?" She asked, her tone strained with emotion as she stepped toward me, her look weary and seeming unsure of herself with each step she took. "Worse than before?"

The feel of her tiny hand running through my fur had the raging rip tide within fading away to a swell of current.

Paul's reply was quick and his tone concerned when he spoke.

"I mean, he's given the animal too much control, allowed it to dominate him as the man. We've tried everything... He sent Seth for you."

Bella's emotional pleading had me curling around her, wanting to shelter her from this and all the while knowing I couldn't.

"What can I do?" She asked brokenly, the sound of her heart ache hard for me to hear. "Tell me what to do to bring him back."

"I don't know, Bella. Once you've given the animal more control than the man, it's a fucking struggle like no other to claw your way back out ... To reclaim who you are. It's something I've never witnessed... only read about the legends of it. None of us have seen anything like it."

A whine left me at his words. They were absolutely true. I had created this trap and now she was here with me, stuck in the same damn mess. If I couldn't find a way out of this, she would suffer right along with me. I had to find a way to tame the beast... somehow.

Bella's sincere and soft whisper brought me back to the present. "I love you, Jacob. In any form... You're my home... Where I belong."

I drew closer to her, nuzzling her long locks, her presence causing a peace to wash over me despite the situation I'd found myself in.

The time passed, the remaining hours of the night rapidly fading into the rays of mornings light.

Guilt lashed at me as I thought of her longing for a man she could no longer see, his human form now replaced with the beast. I had given all power to the animal and left the man weak and worn out from the fight.

Bella needed me... and I needed to find a way back.

I felt her exhaustion begin to wear on her as the early morning continued. Her petite frame draped over me and her eyes growing heavy. The forest was bitterly cold and it's wind harsh as she curled herself into me.

I've heard it said that everyone's version of hell is different. That individual perception is one's own realty. For me ... this was it. I had ignited something within that I now feared couldn't be tamed or corrected. I had chosen to ignore any warning and had pushed myself down this road despite the risks. While I had the best of intentions, I was now faced with the possible reality of being unable to take my own power back.

"Paul!" I suddenly heard Bella yell. "Sam... He. Needs. Sam... He can help him. I know he can! Go get him and tell him what happened to Jacob! He'll know what to do!"

Paul swiftly approached her, abruptly lowering his wolf form. She refused and inched herself closer to me. "No... You go... I'm not leaving him. I'm staying right here till you return with Sam... Hurry!"

Paul gave a loud huff and took off through the sunny forest as Bella's head came to rest close to mine.

Sam was my last hope but I knew what taking my power back would require and what it could cost me in the end. It was something I had to do, pain be damned. I had to tame the beast and take back the man I was... The man Bella needs... The man I **_STILL_** am.


	45. Chapter 46

**A/N: Very sorry for the longer day wait than expected. Your continued patience is appreciated! :) HAPPY READING.**

**CHAPTER FORTY - FIVE (PART TWO)**

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." -Charles Darwin-

**(BPOV)**

Where does the fine line of man end and the hard line of animal begin? How can you differentiate the two?

The majestic form of the russet wolf before me was all powerful. His rugged and masculine being now appearing to have increased in size as he arose.

I was awe struck and utterly lost in the moment as the sun shined down on his radiant being. The word beautiful not even close to descriptive enough ... wondrous was more fitting. I had never beheld anything so beautiful... so exquisite... so majestic.

My heart swelled with pride as I drank in his statuesque form.

Sam's voice was instructive and laced with a former power I immediately recognized and respected when he addressed Jacob. His wolf form phasing back to human so I could understand his words. His nakedness now not lost on me, but rather disregarded... irrelevant. There was a time I would have blushed and bowed my head from the uncomfortableness of it all, but this was no longer the case. I had accepted it as just part of pack life. Part of the normal, so to speak.

"I need you to do exactly as I say, Jacob. You have to trust me." Sam sighed, his look intense and steady.

I could see the determination and readiness in Jacob's returning gaze, and while I was proud of his bravery, I was equally terrified for him. The feel of Paul's hold on me tightened and had me well aware of what was soon to be in store.

I drew in a shaky breath. I had tried to brace myself for this... Tried to keep my composure... For Jacob, I had to. He needed me to ... But nothing... absolutely nothing, could prepare me for the approaching brutality of his phasing back to human form.

"The Alpha spirit will fight back against the man you are, Jacob. You have to fight against him just as hard and remain in control. You can't quit the fight or relent on the struggle with the Alpha spirit, No matter the fury he may choose the unleash on you... HOLD STEADFAST. DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO DIVIDE THE MAN YOU ARE."

A loud huff from Jacob was his only reply before Sam's guidance continued..

"You need to _enrage_ him by challenging him for _dominance_, Jacob... Dominance over your own being. It will surely infuriate the beast, but it is the only way to provoke the challenge needed in order to win back your own body. The two of you have to learn to co - exist without one over taking the other. It's difficult, but it can be done. Once that definition is established and you, as the man, take your own power back, you will be able to cohabitate better without the constant painful struggle. The relief won't be immediate, it will take time, but trust me ... it will happen. The turning of this tide is solely up to you, my brother."

My eyes met Jacob's once more before Sam began to circle around him, his eyes a fixed point. "YOU determine the outcome of this. YOU choose which path to take. YOU CHOOSE to push onward, broken or not, YOU HAVE THE CHOICE. JACOB EPHRAIM BLACK... FOR YOU ARE THE BORN LEADER OF THIS PACK AND YOU CAN TURN THIS TIDE BACK. THE ALPHA DOES NOT DEFINE YOU, INSTEAD IT IS PART OF YOU. SEE THE DIFFERENCE AND ACKNOWLEDGE IT."

Jacob's snarl echoed around us, his teeth barred to Sam as the beast began to resurface. My heart leapt into my throat as Sam approached me, his voice a whisper now. "Bella... You should go. The ugliness of this-"

"No." I interjected. "I'm not leaving him. Wolf or beast... or man... he's mine and I won't abandon him, Sam. You can't ask me to turn my back on him."

He went silent, his eyes leaving mine and meeting Paul's, who backed me up. "She has a point. Her here... in sight... will only push him to try all the harder. Jacob needs her. She's tough enough, Sam. I know when you went through this before, it scared the hell out of Emily... but I think Bella can take it. You have my word that if things get out of hand, Seth and I will rush her away from here. Jacob wouldn't want it any other way. I'll honor that."

Sam nodded and pulled me into a hug, the gesture stunning me momentarily as his words surrounded me. "I need you to remember that Jake is still in there... the man... not just the beast. Though it may not seem like that when he challenges me... and he will... I want him to. That's what needs to happen. Provoking the beast is part of my plan. Remember that."

I felt him release me and my words came rushing out with fear. "Sam... what if-?" I choked, gripping his arm.

"I know what I'm doing, Bella. Trust me. He's caught beneath the Alpha's reign of power and he's weary from fighting this battle. He can't do this alone and he doesn't have to." He assured me with a nod as he pulled his arm slowly out of my grasp. My eyes now stinging with tears from his heartfelt words. "Jacob fought for me when I was lost... He didn't quit. I can help him. He's my brother. I've got to find a way to pull him out of this."

I nodded and felt the tears run as he turned and walked toward Jacob. His russet wolf form now pacing back and forth in agitation. His eyes darkening to a menacing shade of coal. The sight of it enough to send a shiver up my spine. For those eyes were not my Jacob's... they were the tangible coal gazed proof of the war within himself he faced. Like grey clouds chasing away the light ... The sun... My sun.

Sam began to shake with tremors and soon erupted into his massive and powerful black wolf. The thick fur on the back of his neck raising as he lowered his head with a snarl that matched Jacob's. The sound of it likening to a battle cry... a signal of readiness for the riot to begin.

My hands gripped Paul's arm that had come to snake around my waist in his secure hold. His refraining grip solid, yet comforting to me. I shook like a leaf as I watched Jacob rise up to Sam, his teeth fully barred and his loud roar striking fear within me... fear for him... fear for Sam. I blinked and hoped for the hundredth time that this was a nightmare.

Wake up... Wake up... Just Wake up...

I didn't want to watch ... but forced myself to, constantly reminding myself of the man I longed for beneath the beautiful russet fur. The firm but loving hands I desperately wanted to feel touch me... to take my own again in theirs... The strong arms I longed to have wrapped around me... the warmth of his skin against mine... his husky and comforting voice... The sound of his hearty laughter.

I wanted it all back... everything.

The sound of Jacob's loud howl cut through me like the bitter cold wind that whipped around us. It shook the forest and invaded my very being as he roared in seething fury at Sam who charged at him with no haste.

I dug my nails into Paul's arm, hard enough to warrant the worry of bloodshed. My head filled with Emily as Sam leapt and landed directly in front of Jacob. Their snapping jaws and snarls deafeningly loud now as I watched on with horror, seeing a blood lust cloud Jacob's furious gaze. I instinctively struggled against Paul's hold. The fear for the both of them getting the best of me now.

All I could think of was this going wrong in fifty damn different ways. I knew enough about the Alpha spirit to understand it's mighty power and how unrelenting it could be when challenged, especially for authority. One of them... if not both of them, could easily come out on the losing end of this. Paul's sudden harsh whisper stopped my futile struggle to get away from him.

"Don't Bella... you have to trust Sam. Jacob has to face the fight within. Sam's walked this path before. He knows."

I sank against him, the weight of all this enough to make me want to scream.

Here I stood, helplessly watching the man I loved battle his own calling for authority over himself. I loathed the feeling of being so damn helpless. If I could trade places with him... take this on for him... I would... I'd throw myself into it head first without hesitation or second thought.

I was utterly terrified as Sam advanced on Jacob. His wolf Stature appearing to grow... to rise up to Jacobs own returning challenge. I felt my throat nearly close at the shrilling sound of the roar that left the Alpha in response to Sam.

With ears laid back and eyes the shade of midnight, the Alpha seethed with a rage I'd never witnessed. An anger that was now nearly tangible in the morning air around us. His teeth fully barred with fury as he charged at Sam, plowing into him with great force. The sound of their powerful collision matching that of smashing concrete.

Tree's were plowed into in their fighting wake, leaving them shredded and splintered like kindle wood. I couldn't breathe when Seth suddenly phased to wolf form next to us. His own raged roar matching Sam's.

"Seth!" I gasped, lurching forward with fear of what his sudden phase meant.

Paul quickly hauled me back to him and clarified. "He needs to be connected to them. It's a cautionary measure."

Seth's continued roars sure in hell didn't sound just cautionary. They sounded lethal... pissed. A side of him I'd rarely seen. He took a protective stance in front of us.

"He knows Jacob would never want you caught in the crossfire of this, Bella. No matter what war he's got going on within... you're his first priority."

It was a fact I didn't need to be told to know. Jacob had always put me selflessly first. Even to the detriment of himself. Even now...

Sam's massive frame came barreling into Jacob before I could even blink. The move unexpected and making my head spin. To see them fight like this was almost too much.

Paul suddenly cussed aloud. "Fuck... The alpha's not going to give Jacob control without unleashing his fury first. Sam knows this. That's why he's fighting the Alpha for Jacob. Watch closely, Bella... You'll recognize the submission. All part of Sam's strategy." Paul whispered, his dark eyes fixed on the fight.

"I will?"

"Yes... Watch..."

I forced myself to keep my eyes on the nauseating scene of their battle. Sam snapped his powerful Jaws at the Alpha. It's furious returning roar causing Sam to lower his head briefly. His sturdy stance fading to lower himself to the ground as the Alpha towered dominantly over him. The sight of it making me reel.

"Paul..." I breathed, feeling him release me and step forward.

"No... fuck... No!" He yelled.

Seth took off like a rocket for them, running with the speed of sound, and soon plowing himself into Jacob's wolf, effectively breaking the submissive hold that had begun to reign over Sam. I shook and stumbled forward toward Paul who was vibrating with tremors. His human form blurring before my eyes.

A colorful slew of profanity came from Paul as he shook with rocking tremors. His words coming out strained as he tried to fight them off. "Stay. Back. Bella."

I took heed to his warning and quickly scrambled away from him. His body a blur as he exploded into the powerful wolf he was. I backed myself against a large tree just as the sound of a whine filtered through the many roars and angry snarls of the forest. Jet black and Russet clashed together in front of me. Sam's teeth sinking into the Alpha's hind leg. My mind frantically tried to cling to the fact that this was not my Jacob right now. For the Alpha had claimed him and I had to remember that Sam knew what the hell he was doing.

Another whine cut through the forest as Seth sank down beneath the powerful roar of the Alpha. His forced submission further enraging Sam. Paul swiftly cut into the path of the Alpha's gaze and further pissed him off, as he stood over Seth and barred his teeth in warning, foam now seeping from his muzzle in heated anger.

Sam took the open window of opportunity and snatched a hind leg in his iron muzzle, a lethal roar leaving the Alpha as he whirled and attacked Sam. Seth got to his feet with Paul's nudge and wearily wandered over to me, blood now staining his sandy colored fur. I saw him fall down to the ground next to Paul who nudged him repeatedly.

"No..." I breathed, seeing Seth limp and unmoving despite Paul's effort to get him up on his feet.

Tears trailed down my cheeks when I saw Sam come running to Paul. His wolf gaze upon Seth. A loud roar echoing through the surrounding forest told me this fight was far from over.

I shook as Sam and Paul placed themselves over Seth. An angry snarl seeping from his muzzle as the Alpha closed in for the kill.

I felt my chest tighten and my heart nearly stop when I saw the blood that now tainted the muzzle of my russet wolf. The sight of the crimson shade staining his fur had me running to Seth. I let the adrenaline pour through my system as I sprinted through the forest for them. My intention clear when I threw myself over Seth's limp wolf form.

"No!" I screamed, my words pleading with the Alpha. "Stop!"

Sam shook with fury at the Alpha's answering roar of rage at me for interfering. Paul's ears came to lay fully back as a warning snarl left his foaming muzzle.

The soft whines of Seth had me pleading all the more. For I knew somewhere in the beast was my Jacob. He would fight the Alpha to the end before ever killing one of his own. While the Alpha's spirit was untamed and had no mercy for interference... Jacob did. My mind raced as I began to plead with the Alpha to give me back the man I loved.

I shook as I rose to my feet and approached the roaring beast, causing Paul phase immediately back to human form. His hand catching my arm in a firm grip. "No! You can't-"

I whirled to face him head on. My determination over ruling any fear. "Let me go! Now!" I yelled, locking eyes with him and seeing his own gaze grow angry.

"No!" He sharply bit back.

"I'm not asking you for permission here!" I yelled in reply. "This is my choice and I'm doing whatever it takes to get Jacob Back. Countless times he's risked it all for me... I can do this for him. NOW LET ME GO!"

Sam huffed loudly and gently nudged me forward in agreement. I felt Paul release my arm and I looked up into the angry black eyes of the Alpha. His seething snarls continuing as I approached him. My steps cautious and articulate.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't screaming terrified inside, but a still small voice rang clear through my mind with every small step I took. This may be the beast... the Alpha's dominance I was facing, but Jacob was anything but submissive. I knew without question that he would fight the battle against the beast until he couldn't and I had to help him.

I knew the risk of me trying this, but I continued on anyway. After all, I was just a human girl. No magic ran through my veins. I was your typical DNA. Nothing out of the ordinary. But I was Jacob's imprint and I believed that bond was more than enough to help pull him through. I knew the man he was would always answer my hearts cry.

I was merely a few feet away from the Alpha and could feel the heat radiating off him. Though my body shook, I walked closer, until he was in reach. I slowly raised my shaking hand to him and heard his snarls fade. The look in his eyes still angry as a low growl left him.

I didn't move for moments on end. My body trembling and my heart racing as my gaze fell upon the blood around his muzzle. It's crimson red stain now faded to that of brown.

Seth's whines from behind me had the Alpha's muzzle peeling over razor sharp teeth. I took another step and saw his demeanor suddenly shift, like someone had flipped a switch. He backed away from me, his dark gaze still glued to Paul, Seth and Sam behind me. Like they were calling to him. I was baffled to see him pace back and forth in agitated fashion. His head began to shake back and forth as a roar left him. I moved closer and saw him move back in return. I stared at him, looking closely to see any signs of Jacob. I found none in his dark gaze and my heart sank to think I was too late.

My whisper was soft but genuinely heart felt to him. "Jacob..."

In an instant, the invisible switch flipped itself again and I was backing away from the Alpha who was now stalking angrily toward me. His look menacing and cold. Not the eyes I was used to in the least. I pushed past the fear that tried to choke me and dared my voice to say his name again.

"Jacob..."

I stumbled backwards into the nearby tree as he approached with a raging roar, briefly silencing me. He stopped mere inches from me, his head lowering to mine. I held my breath and winced away from him as his muzzle drew near to my throat. His sudden inhale of my long hair had my voice trying again.

"Jacob... " I breathed, my voice shaking with my words. "I'm here..."

I didn't dare move as his nose trailed down my neck. My heart hammering painfully against my chest.

"I... need... you, Jacob. The man you are."

Another loud huff had my mouth closing and my eyes gazing into the midnight hue of the Alpha's. I watched as the darkness of them began to slowly fade back to the familiar warmth of brown hue that filled them before. I remained perfectly still and waited till no more midnight hue remained before I spoke again.

"Jacob..." I whispered, ever so slowly reaching my hand up to touch his head. I was treading unfamiliar water and chose to be cautious, for I knew what the wrong move could mean for him.

I clung to the warm glow of those familiar eyes and moved myself closer to him, one delicate inch at a time. His low growl finally receding into his chest as a soft whine left him when he nuzzled my neck.

"You're here..." I sighed in relief and saw him ease back away from me. The look in his eyes far off and distant... Lost almost.

I tried to approach him again but he continued to back himself further away from me. He huffed profusely and glanced over to where Seth had regained his bearings. His stance a bit weary but better than before with Sam and Paul at his side.

Without warning, he turned with an anguished howl and sprinted off into the forest. My eyes barely able to follow after him.

"Jacob!" I yelled, but saw him fade deeper into the dense tree's.

Paul approached me quickly, lowering himself down as Sam shouted our way. "Go with him, Bella. I'm taking Seth back to Sue. Jacob will come looking for you when he's ready and he'll need you. The best thing you can do for him right now is wait."

I followed his instructions without even blinking and was soon on Paul's back as he ran full tilt toward Billy's. When we neared his back yard and his running pace slowed, my eyes began to search already for any fleeting sign of my russet wolf. Though I looked, none was found.

I hurriedly jumped off Paul's back and ran inside, my legs feeling as if they couldn't carry me fast enough through the front door. I stumbled frantically in, throwing it open and yelling for him.

"Jacob... Jake?"

Billy's answering yell was the only response I got as he wheeled himself out of the kitchen. "Bella?-"

"Was he here? At all?" I asked, a sob leaving me.

Billy solemnly shook his head just as Paul came inside. His look grave and now matching Billy's. I headed back outside, grabbing an extra coat along the way.

"I'm going to look for him."

"Bella wait!" Paul yelled after me. I continued towards the woods anyway, ignoring the bitter cold and feeling my tears run freely down my face as a warm hand caught mine. "Bella."

"He's out there... alone. You didn't see the look of shame he wore before he took off. He doesn't know what to do with himself, Paul. I have to go look for him."

"Sam told you he would come looking for you when he's ready."

I shook my head in protest. "So what... I'm just supposed to wait here and hope he shows back up. What if he can't get back to me? He's not himself... I can't just sit here and-"

"Wait..." Paul finished for me, his hands coming to grasp the tops of my shoulders to steady me.

I was beginning to unravel. There had to be more that I could do.

"I can't-"

"Yes you can. It's what he needs you to do. You know he'll return to you. Give him the space he needs and he'll be back when he's ready."

I reluctantly took Paul's offered hand and walked back inside. My whole being feeling numb from the cold and from all I'd seen unfold.

I was relieved to know he was no longer ruled by the Alpha, but I couldn't rid the feeling that he was now suffering in a whole new way. He would blame himself for what took place with Seth and I hated to think of him alone out there with that.

Billy offered me a blanket as I sat on the couch, my heart heavy.

"Here dear... you're freezing."

I wrapped myself up in it and remained there on the couch till the day had turned into night. Paul had stayed there with us, and Sam had dropped in to let us know that Seth was okay. I acknowledges him but my mind was so full of worry for Jacob that I could hardly concentrate on what they were saying. Their chatter was much upon filling Billy in and explaining where Jacob's head was at now.

When Night time came and the darkness fell upon us, I had reached my wits end with waiting. I couldn't wait one more damn minute. I shrugged out of my heavy blanket and began to pace by the front door. Sam took notice and joined me. His own worry reflecting my own.

"He's gonna come back, right? I mean... he will come home ... eventually... right?"

"You're here, Bella. He'll be back, but the question now is when." He sighed, glancing at his watch. "Emily is waiting for me at the hospital. I need to get back to her. If you need anything... anything at all... don't hesitate to call."

"I will." I replied, hugging him fiercely. "Thank you Sam, for everything you did."

"Don't thank me... You brought him back, Bella. Wouldn't have worked without you."

I watched him leave and brought my blanket out onto the cold porch, sinking down there on the step and waiting as more time passed. The minutes dragged on and on until Paul said his goodbye's and Billy asked me to come inside, his argument to me being that I could catch my death in the cold like this and he would in return catch hell from my father. I reluctantly obliged and we sat together at the kitchen table. Neither one of us saying very much to the other.

The many hours passed until Billy noted the time. "Almost one in the morning, Dear. Why don't you lay down in Jacob's room. Get some rest?"

"I couldn't even if I tried, Billy." I admitted, glancing at the clock on the stove and placing my head in my hands on the table. "I'll wait... for him..."

Billy sighed and poured us each another cup of hot coffee. "Well then ... we wait..."

When the clock struck 3 a.m., my emotions began to get the better of me. I had tried to help him, but how could I help him now when I didn't even know where the hell he was?

"Times likes these are hard." Billy sighed, setting his empty mug on the wooden table. "Sarah has sat right where you are today, Bella. Worrying over me... years and years ago. Trust me, dear... Jacob will come home... you'll guide him back... the very same way Sarah used to be my compass whenever I'd lost my way. Hold on to hope, dear. Just hold on to hope."

His words were encouraging and I took refuge in his offered support through this. "Thank you for waiting up with me, Billy."

He gave me half a smile and a wink. "Don't even mention it."

I felt my eyes become impossibly heavy as the dawn approached. My body achy from exhaustion as I laid my head on the table. I had meant to only rest my eyes for a moment but inevitably succumbed to the days events that had left me worn out.

I awoke to the sound of the front door closing. My eyes fluttering open as I raised my head to see Jacob standing there before me, completely naked. His skin covered in dirt and dried blood. His eyes hollow looking. Seeming to be void of any and all things.

I met his empty stare and got to my feet. The longing to be held by those arms... To touch him again in the human flesh, had me moving before I could debate any further action. I took his face in my hands, seeing his gaze meet mine. He looked so damn lost that my heart nearly shattered at the sight of his hollow gaze. I wrapped my arms around his neck and just held onto him.

"Jacob..."

Like he hadn't realized where he was until that very moment, I felt him gasp, like someone had breathed new life into him. His arms were pressing me securely to him the moment the breath had filled his lungs. His voice was hoarse and strained when he spoke to me.

"Bells... You're here."

"I'm here..." I whispered back in reply, feeling his arms tighten around me like he was afraid I was gonna run.

I pulled back just enough to cradle his face, seeing the pain still etched there and wanting nothing more than to erase it from him.

"I'm not going anywhere." I assured him, my lips seeking his and feeling my entire body flood with radiant warmth when he desperately returned my kiss. His strong hand going into my hair and deepening the kiss. Time and place began to be forgotten as he held me. I soon forcefully pried myself away from him and glanced down the hall to where Billy lay asleep.

"Your dad-" I breathed, my lips an inch from his.

He nodded in understanding and took my hands in his own, growing silent as, his gaze became void and distant again.

"Hey..." I sighed, kissing him softly on the lips. "Come to bed with me?"

He walked us down the hall to his room. His look of lost returning once inside as he searched his drawers for clean shorts. "I should shower." He sighed, the sound of his voice still hoarse, like he'd been screaming for hours.

I grabbed his hand and led him over to the bed, pulling back the blankets before stripping down to nothing but my shirt and underwear. "Lay with me... Just the way you are."

He only nodded in reply as I retook his warm hand in mine and pulling him into bed with me, my head coming to rest on his chest and listening to thrumming sound of his heartbeat. Cherishing it in a whole new way. Every damn beat meaningful and perfect. I was secretly afraid to close my eyes, in fear that he would be gone when I awoke.

I tried to keep my eyes open for a bit longer but the feel of his fingertips running through my hair had my eyes even heavier than before. I felt him shift under me and raised my head to meet his warm brown eyes.

"Bells... I'm not going anywhere, either... I promise ... Got to sleep, honey."

His lips met mine once more before I laid my head back down and let the weight of the day wash over me. The heaviness of it wearing me down and forcing my eyes to close. His warmth surrounding me like a safe haven.

The peaceful state was short lived when I was awakened by the sound of Billy's yelling a few short hours later. The cool air around me alerting me to Jacob's absence. I listened to Billy's words that now pierced through the thin walls of Jacob's room.

"So it's true?" Billy asked in a grave tone as I got out of bed and wandered quietly out of his room.

"Yes."

"You're going?"

"It's the only way."

"No it's not!" Billy yelled.

I stepped out into the living room, seeing them silence their fighting in an instant.

"I'm... I'm sorry Bella. You hardy slept all night and here I am yelling." Billy sighed, wheeling himself back to his room and closing the door without any further explanation.

I stood there dumfounded as Jacob approached me. "Sorry honey."

"What's going on?" I asked.

He was silent for the longest time. His eyes adverting mine and making the quiet of the house grow to be deafeningly loud all of a sudden.

"Where... exactly... are you going?" I breathed, seeing him turn back to face me. His look fierce when he replied.

"To Voltera. To kill them all. Every last one of them."

His angry words hung in the air like the remnants of a bomb exploding. Thick like smoke and deadly like that of a fiery explosion. The after math settling in around us with a heavy and palpable weight.


	46. Chapter 47

**CHAPTER FORTY - SIX**

**(BPOV )**

The silence settled through the house with Jake's confession. Billy's heated gaze met mine as the truth wrapped itself around me like barbed wire.

"You can't-" Billy began.

"I am." Jacob bit back. His tone angry, harsh and bitter with his father.

"You're not thinking clearly.

"My thoughts are crystal clear. I know what I'm doing."

"And what exactly is that... A massacre? You'd be sending your own to the slaughter house! Does Sam know what your plan is?"

"Sam's mind is elsewhere right now. As it should be. Emily's being induced in a few hours."

Billy shook his head and grabbed his cell phone from the coffee table, quickly beginning to dial. Jacob reached for it, snatching it out of his fathers hand. "You're not calling him."

"You're making a huge mistake, Jacob."

"And you... as my father... should have a little more faith in me."

"I don't doubt your abilities! But I don't underestimate the wrath the Volturi will surely pour out over our own land if this goes wrong."

"It won't."

"You're being rash!" Billy yelled.

Jacob turned away from his father, seeming to dismiss anything further he had to say on the matter without so much as a backwards glance.

I saw him approach me, his eyes meeting mine and the anger in them fading to a fester when he spoke. "I know we have a lot to talk about. But Emily's being induced soon and Sam needs our support. I'm sure Emily would love to know you're there. We should get a move on?"

I nodded, feeling almost numb as his lips touched my cheek with a soft kiss. "I'll wait for you in the garage. Take your time, honey. I poured you some coffee, if you want it."

"Thank you." I replied. The detached sound in my voice not lost on either of us.

He left the house without any further discussion, leaving me utterly lost and speechless.

"He doesn't know what this will entail. If he turns himself over to that kind of power... the kind of power he will need in Voltera... He could lose himself forever. I know. I've_ seen i_t."

"What?" I breathed, seeing his face crumple with dread.

"He will know of nothing but power and divine authority will rule him. If he brings this to Voltera before he's ready and leaves their city in ruins... He will have won... But so will the Alpha. Tell me Bella how that's a winning situation for anyone?"

"It wouldn't be..." I heavily sighed.

"You have to talk to him, Bella. He'll listen to you. You may be the only one he'll see reason for."

"You seem to put a lot of faith in that?"

"I have to..." He sighed, wheeling away. His worried tone resonating with me.

Jacob may be Alpha, but to Billy, he would always be his little boy and I respected the great care he showed for him.

My mind pawed over the worries of my own I had for him as I quickly showered and dressed. would he even listen to what I had to say on the matter? Did I get a say?

Of course I did...

Of course I had the right to know his plan, but would he share it all with me?

I was pacing in his room, mulling it over when the sound of knuckles rapping on the wooden door, stopped me.

"Bells? Ready to go?"

I tried to force a genuine smile when I opened the door. "Yea... Let's get going."

The ride to the hospital was filled with my incisive thoughts and heavy traffic. The highway seeming to be more busy than normal. We were approaching forks when a black Jetta carelessly cut directly in front of us. Jacob hit the brakes and laid heavily on the horn while gesturing out the window.

The gesture was enough to warrant a return hand movement from the driver in front of us.

"Fuck you... learn how to drive asshole." Jake huffed as he hit the gas and neared the hospital entrance. His temper justified but certainly more easily provoked than before. He threw my truck in park and ripped the keys from the ignition with agitation and haste. "Fucking idiots. No one knows how the hell to drive anymore."

I simply shrugged and saw his gaze meet mine. His look suddenly reflective. "What? Don't you think he was being an ass?"

"I guess. Just not worth getting so riled up over?"

"Riled up?" He mocked in laughter. "I'm not riled up, just annoyed with ignorant jackasses like him on the road."

I dismissed the conversation with a nod, not wanting to argue over something so trivial when compared to the discussion that would surely take place later.

I got out and felt the unwelcome and bitter cold invade my clothes, making me shiver.

"Winter's coming, honey." I heard Jacob sigh when his warm hand took mine.

"Good thing I have you..." I smiled, seeing his returning white grin.

"I promise to keep you warm... Through all the seasons."

We made our way through the many halls of the hospital. The smell of antiseptic strong in the air. Sam greeted us with a nervous smile when we rounded the last corner that led to Emily's room.

His look perfectly matching that of a soon to be new dad. He looked excited... thrilled.. and scared out of his mind all at the same time. I smiled at him with joy as I thought of all he'd overcome. I wanted nothing more than for him to have the happy family with Emily they both so deserved. Among all the madness and the heartache they'd both endured along the way, they certainly were overdue for some genuine happiness.

"I'm glad the two of you came." Sam addressed Jake. His words genuine when he soon embraced me.

"Of course. We wouldn't be anywhere else." Jake replied.

"Emily has been looking forward to seeing you. She's been asking about you a lot the last few days. I filled her in some, but the Doctor advised us to keep her stress level down as much as we can. She's pretty nervous about being induced soon."

"I'll remember that. How are you holding up?"

Sam shrugged and let out a heavy sigh. "Truth is... I'm just as nervous as she is this morning."

I reached for his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You'll both be fine and we're here if you need anything."

"We appreciate that. How you doin' this morning, Jake?"

Jacob appeared to be preoccupied by the many distractions playing out around us. The many nurses buzzing around and the front desk phone ringing every minute or so. All of it had his divine attention.

"Jake?" I asked, nudging into him.

"What?"

"Sam asked you a question..."

"Oh.. yea... sorry... uh... I feel okay. Not bad considering" Jake replied.

"Good." Sam sighed, his eyes seeming to asses Jacob when he looked back to the front desk. The phone ringing for the tenth time. "Well, I need to get back in there with Emily. Nurse is coming soon. Paul and Seth are stopping in later. They'll be here to keep you company in the waiting room, eventually."

I hugged him before he disappeared down the hall. "Please let us know as soon as you can how she is and send her my love okay?"

"I surely will." Sam replied, his smile almost contagious when he left us.

Jake remained overwhelmingly distracted throughout our many hours of waiting. The waiting room was relatively crowded and that only proved to make Jacob all the more distracted. His hand had found mine the moment we'd sat down, but his eyes were on every other movement in the room. As if he were waiting for the infamous other shoe to fall.

By the third hour of his silence, I began to grow antsy myself.

"Think she's okay? It's been almost three hours?" I asked him, my other hand coming to trace patterns along his arm.

"Yea... I'm sure She's okay. Emily's strong and if she should run out of that strength, she has Sam. She'll be fine, honey."

"You seem... distracted...?"

"I do?" He asked, turning his head to meet my questioning gaze.

"Yes... you have all morning."

His hand left mine as his arm draped over my should, drawing me in closer to him. "Sorry. A lot on my mind, honey."

"Mine too..." I whispered in reply, thinking back upon the argument I stumbled into this morning. The sound of his angry tone with Billy echoing through my mind.

"I promise we'll talk later... about everything."

I simply nodded, glancing around the waiting room to see a woman sitting across from us with her husband. Each of them holding a sleeping baby boy. Their tiny features revealing that they may have been six months old at most. The mother looking as if she hadn't had a full nights sleep in months. I smiled warmly at her and saw her return it with a yawn.

I felt Jacob's warm hand squeeze mine as I glanced up to discover his attention had already been drawn to them. His eyes glued to the sleeping tiny boys. I carefully observed him and was in awe to see the hardness of his face soften the longer he looked at them. A small grin gracing his handsome features when his eyes came back to mine.

"They're so tiny..." He sighed.

"For now..." I chuckled in reply.

"Sam must be anxious but he'll be a great dad."

I nodded in agreement and returned my gaze to the twins. My mind invaded with the vision from the mountain years ago and my heart beginning to fill with the familiar longing for what it held. I could close my eyes even now and see it all before me.

The hours passed into the late afternoon and my worry for Emily only got worse as they passed along.

"Something isn't right..." I told Jacob, getting up and pacing the now desolate waiting room. "Delivery can take a while but... it's been almost eight hours."

Jacob glanced down to his watch and noted the time, his own features showing some worry. "Maybe there was a complication?"

"I don't know... Where as we're not family... officially... I'm not sure if they'd tell us anything. Where is Seth and Paul?" And where the hell is Leah and Sue?"

"They'll be here..."

Another half hour passed before they all arrived. All of them coming in together with arms full of coffee and snack food from the hospital cafeteria.

Sue offered us a smile and Paul and Seth joined Leah in the empty seats ahead of us.

"No word yet?" Leah asked me, her eyes wide with concern.

"No. Nothing since this morning when Sam spoke with us."

"Emily's strong. She'll be okay." Sue assured everyone, falling into her normal motherly role.

"But things can happen..." Paul fretted.

"Stop... think positively. Emily needs the good vibes." Sue scorned.

Three hours later Sam finally came jogging into the waiting room. His beaming smile instantly washing away our needless fretting and worry.

We all jumped to our feet and rushed to meet him.

"She's okay and so is he. All healthy eight pounds and six ounces of him." Sam choked, his eyes swimming with the heartfelt emotion.

Sue threw her arms around him with her own tears streaming. My own eyes stinging with tears of joy for them.

"But Emily really is okay?" Sue asked.

"Really?" Leah soon followed.

"Yes. She's exhausted and resting right now. It was a hard labor for her. But she did it and they are both okay. I told her you were all here and she sends her love to you. She needs some sleep."

A warm arm wrapping around my waist had my smile even wider as Jacob placed a kiss on my cheek.

Sam stayed for a few minutes and shared how amazing Emily had done. His smile so warm and radiant it made the rest of us feel good just to be near him.

Jake shook his hand before he left us. "I'm happy for you both."

"Well... I wouldn't be here ... where I am today without the help you both have offered. So... Emily and I have been talking and we would be honored if you would be the godparents of our son? It would mean the world to Emily and I."

Jacob glanced down at me, his look stunned for a moment and no doubt matching my own, as he released my hand and hauled Sam into a brotherly hug.

"Of course. Sam... We'd be honored... truly..."

There were moments in life that seemed to make every struggle you'd encountered all worth it and to see this... to witness this moment... Was one of the many for me.


	47. Chapter 48

**A/N: Hello again everyone. Thank you for your continued support and patience. As always... HAPPY READING ALL! :-)**

**CHAPTER FORTY - SEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

The ride back home from the Hospital was full of near deafening silence. The many miles passing felt never ending and my thoughts only grew louder with each mile marker to home. I was truly elated that Emily and her new baby boy were in great health and she was out of the woods but despite the joy from the days events, my mind was full of the dreaded fight I knew was now residing just beneath the surface.

He couldn't go to Voltera. He would surely get himself killed... The mere thought tossed my stomach into a hurdling nosedive and sent a shrill of dread through me as we pulled back into Jake's driveway. The lights on in the house revealing that Billy was awake. I got out and headed for his garage without looking back, I knew he would be intently watching me but my anger was damn near boiling over when he swiftly joined me. His hand coming to find the switch for the flood lamp, and it's faint light erasing the darkness.

My words were angry and harsh with him. "You can't go to Voltera! When the hell were you planning on telling me this, Jake!"

"Soon...

"Soon?" I bit back. "Soon when? The night before? Well holy shit... thanks for the damn warning!"

"You don't understand, Bells..."

His simple remark had proven to push me into an angry rant. "Don't understand?! Don't tell me what I do and _don't understand_, Jacob! We're supposed to be a team damn it! Equals! _Remember_? Or is that no longer the case? You swore to me we would always be honest from now on! Where the hell did that_ promise go_?"

I was shaking with anger when he reached for me. I harshly pulled away from him, my fury temporarily over ruling the longing for his touch. I was refusing to let him distract me.

"Don't." I warned, turning away from him and feeling his gaze still on me.

"Bells... I. Have. To. Go."

I whirled back around to see his set and unmoving determination.

"No. You. Don't." I yelled.

"I Do!" He yelled back, his tone angry.

"No! Tell me why! What the hell are you thinking! If this is for revenge on Aro, it's not worth it!"

"It's so much more than that!"

"What?!"

He turned away from me and I saw his jaw clench a few times in frustration as he stared ahead. "Bells..."

"No! You owe me some kind of explanation! Why would you go? Risk Everything? Tell me-"

He suddenly turned toward me, taking two long strides and closing the distance between us. His words hitting me like a freight train.

"For you!... for us... for our future."

I went silent, seeing his dark gaze settle upon my own as he continued to spill all. The truth washing over me in a rapid current.

"...I'm going for us, Bella. I want that whole fucking city to be nothing more than ash. No more Voltera... No more Volturi... no more threats hanging over your head... over the heads of our unborn children. I'm done with waiting and watching. I'm making the first move in Aro's own fucking game."

Utter silence settled over us as his heavy confession resonated with me. I wanted to scream, my head filling with the dreadful images of him being killed was proving to be way more than I could take. I turned from him, feeling the hot tears well up and spill over as I ran from the garage.

I had to get away from here. Take a drive or something... anything to clear the madness coursing through the confines of my mind. I only made it to my truck door before a strong arm caught me by the waist, hauling me back into him and slamming my door closed with his free hand.

"Let go!" I yelled, feeling him release me the moment the words left my mouth. I whipped open the door again, trying to get in, my tears making my efforts all the more difficult as I fumbled with my keys. I dropped them twice, a volatile curse leaving me. "Fuck..."

Jacob caught them the second time, holding them away from me. "You can't drive like this... you're angry..."

"Oh really!" I yelled. "So it's okay for you to be concerned and stop me from taking a simple drive to cool off, but I'm not allowed to protest you risking your life for me in Voltera! What a double standard! It's BULLSHIT!"

"I'm always gonna protect you-"

"Just let me go."

"No Bells. I'm not letting you peel out of here until you settle down."

"Don't tell me to settle down! Do you hear yourself right now?"

"You're not listening to what I'm saying..." He bit back.

"Oh no... I hear you perfectly well... it's all crystal damn clear, right? You're running off to the volturi and saying to hell to what I think about it. I should matter-"

He reached for me then, swiftly pulling me to him, his lips crashing on mine in a mix of anger and desperation. The move, silencing me, and making me eat some of my own words. His lips molded to mine and as much as I wanted to keep yelling my point across, the feel of his mouth on mine made that increasingly difficult.

I surrendered to him, unable to fight off the warmth that hastily flooded through me from his kiss. His strong arms securing my whole body to his.

"You do matter... You're my whole damn world, Bella." He breathed. His tone strained and hoarse as he pulled back just enough to lock eyes with me. "You absolutely matter..."

"Don't go..." I whispered against his lingering lips. "Don't... We can fight this together. When we need to. It could be years... decades even before they come for me."

I felt him suddenly release me, his look growing more irritated. "Their not coming for you at all. No..."

He turned to walk inside the house and I yelled after him, feeling myself nearly choked with desperation to change his set mind.

"It's because I don't want to bring our future children into this... isn't it? That's why you're going... because of what I said at the hospital weeks ago?"

My words had him stopping and turning back to face me. My eyes still swimming with unshed tears as I approached him further.

"If that's it... then... I want a re-do. I change my mind. Right here. Right now. I'll have your children... as many of them as you want... whenever you want... Now even..."

I was desperate and I knew it was a reach, but a reach I was more than willing to offer if he would only stay. My hands took his and my plea was heartfelt. "Please..."

I was throwing myself at his mercy and I didn't care.

"I want nothing more than to have a family with you, Bella. And when I destroy them all and leave that city in ruins... We'll have it, honey. All of it. I promise."

"Not if you don't come back..." I cried, my fear of losing him all consuming when his lips recaptured mine. His strong hands trailed up my back and into my hair as he deepened the kiss. My body welcomingly invaded with his radiant warmth and desire. Like a fuse had been lit, I was suddenly drowning in him. My body reacting to his heated kiss and my heart racing with fear from his confession.

"I'm coming back to you." He breathed, his lips brushing mine as a sob left me.

"You can't promise me that."

"Yes I can... I promise you, Bells. I'm coming back to you."

I kissed him again and begged. Feeling my desperation reach new heights. I couldn't lose him.

"Take me with you... I wanna be with you."

"I won't put you in the crossfires of this. Not a chance in hell, honey. I don't want you anywhere near Voltera."

"... And I don't want you to go..."

"I'm gonna keep my promise, honey. I will come back and we'll start our life together. I don't want you living in fear anymore... Always checking over your shoulder. I want you happy and safe... with me. You gotta' trust me, Bells. Trust in what I am and trust that I know what I'm doing."

His words were earnest and I couldn't help the guilt that hit me next. I had gotten involved with Edward... They had stayed here for me... Provoked the change in Jacob to begin with by their mere unwelcomed presence.

"It's my fault... all of it..."

"No ... you made a choice... a wrong choice... a misguided decision. That doesn't give them the right to make you pay for it for the rest of your life. No more, Bella. He's done toying with you."

I could feel it... lingering just beneath the surface... a full blown panic attack waiting to surely ensue. I had taken Jacob for granted back then, tossed his offered affections aside for my own obsession and insecurities with Edward, and now that I had him, I never wanted to be in anyone else's arms, or kiss the lips of any other. He was it for me.

My whole world began to cave in around me, and despite my efforts to reign in the overwhelming sense of panic and fear... I was slowly succumbing to it. The weight settling itself in my chest. He was leaving to fight Aro... In an attempt to slaughter them all...

The feel of warm hands cradling my face, ripped me out of my tortured thoughts and drew me into the warmth he always gave.

"Bells..."

"I ... can't... lose you..."

"You're. Not. Going. To." He fiercely declared, just as the sound of Billy's yell carried out to us.

"Jacob... Paul's on the phone for you."

I was a shaking mess when Jake led me by the hand inside. Billy's gaze watchful of me as I sat down at the table and stared blankly ahead. This wasn't really happening. I was dreaming... or having a nightmare... wake up... wake up!

The feel of Jake's lips placing a soft kiss to my cheek before he took the offered phone from Billy, had me knowing I was awake.

I wasn't able to focus on anything said or anything moving. My head so full of the possibility of losing the man I loved. The many thoughts far outweighing anything else. Nothing else mattered... nothing.

"Bella...?" Billy addressed me, his hand now resting on top of mine. "Bella?"

My reply was simple and detached, the tone of it in barely a whispered breath to him. "He's going."

I sat there for minutes on end, feeling entirely numb as Jake ended the call with Paul and reached for me, his warm fingers lacing with my own.

Billy was silent, though his look reminded me of a man who had been set on fire, one who couldn't verbalize his anguish. Tortured from the inside out.

Jake said good night to Billy and I became present enough to offer him a small kiss on the cheek as we passed by him to Jake's room. I felt as if I was having an out of body experience. Like I was floating above and watching this unfold before me as an outsider to ones own self. It was surreal and maddening.

Jake led us over to his bed, sitting down there with me, his hand still in mine.

"Nothing could ever keep me from you, Bells."

I slowly shook my head in strong protest. "They could... forever..."

"I'd fight to come back to you."

I kept my gaze fixed on the photos he had of us on his wooden dresser. The young smile he wore then, his hair long and his gaze carefree. The Cullen's had robbed him of that and I hated them for it. I wanted this all to go away.

Was it too much to ask for the happily ever after I so longed for with him? Why did that seem so out of reach and unobtainable right now? The vision I had on the mountain with him years ago, seemed so tangible, almost as if I could reach out and take it.

"Bells..." He whispered at my ear. "I love you."

The sound of the front door slamming shut had Jacob jumping to his feet before I could say a word. I followed him out to see him run outside after his father who was already leaving with a friend. The familiar white truck I'd seen pick him up often.

"Fuck..." Jake cussed, whipping the door closed behind him.

"What... where did he go?"

"He's angry with me."

I approached him, shaking my head. "No... He loves you... you mean everything to him. You and your sisters both. This must terrify him."

"He left to take his mind off things for the night. He's done it before. He'll be back in the morning." Jake sighed. "Been a long day, honey. You look exhausted."

Sleep? Yea... I knew that wasn't happening tonight... there was no way I could even close my eyes after what he'd just revealed to me.

I remained silent and met his concerned gaze. "I know you're scared for me... but You're not gonna lose me, honey. Believe me when I tell you that."

"How can you make me such a promise when you yourself don't know what will happen in Voltera." I whispered, my voice shaky with emotion.

"Trust me, honey... please..."

His warm breath caressed my lips with his words as his forehead pressed to mine. The tension between us growing to a new level as the silence settled throughout the house. I closed my eyes and felt his warm hands slide up my back, under my shirt, now caressing my bare skin. My very breath changing as soon as he touched me. His lips soon brushed mine and I eagerly claimed them. The need to be as close to him as I could humanly be, pushing past the argument and my suffocating worry. I wanted to just feel him and forget the rest.

I kissed him with need and felt his tongue meet mine, igniting desire to course through me. The sensation of a pleasurable throbbing ache settled itself between my thighs as his hand came to firmly cup my ass. An audible moan left me as I hurriedly undid the several buttons of his shirt, feeling the heat radiate off him in waves when he drew me near. His hands swiftly went to the hem of my shirt and I raised my arms for him, willingly ready to rid any offending barriers between us.

I ached for every inch of him to be pressed against me. My need stemming from fear and from the heartache of learning his plan. I was eager and soon entirely naked before him, his only remaining clothing that of his boxers. My kiss was urgent as he hauled me up in his arms. The feel of his prominent arousal pressing against my bare center, making me ache all the more for him as he headed for his room with me, swiftly laying me beneath him with a husky moan of his own.

I was frantic as my hands tugged at his boxers. My need for him growing unrestrained. He removed them and settled himself between my naked thighs, suddenly stilling when his eyes met mine. All rushed movements and frantic caresses fading to sensual touches as I guided him, feeling him enter me slowly. His eyes never leaving mine as his hand took my own, lacing our fingers together. His thrusts were tantalizingly deep and deliciously slow. Each one causing his name to come tumbling from my mouth. A warm tingle seemed to linger where I felt his finger tips trace the bare skin of my outer thigh, his firm hand settling there and drawing my leg up. Our hearts coming to beat as one.

He is my soul mate... Two bodies... One Soul.

Time seemed to stop when his whispered words wrapped themselves around my heart. "You're my missing piece, honey. I will always come back for you."


	48. Chapter 49

**CHAPTER FORTY - EIGHT**

**(JPOV)**

My father didn't return until the very early hours of the morning. The sound of his house keys jingling to unlock the front door, woke me up from a deep sleep. I carefully moved out of bed, trying not to wake Bella, who had fallen asleep with her head on my chest after crying most of the night. I felt awful for causing her that kind of worry, but my intent in Voltera remained the same. That city deserved to be nothing more than ash. I was determined to see that place fall... determined for it to no longer be a threat to us.

I quietly met my father in the kitchen, seeing his look still angry when his gaze met mine.

"You're still up?" He questioned.

"I heard you come in."

"Bella here?"

"She's fast asleep... was pretty exhausted."

"Yea, and emotionally drained to boot. That kind of stress wears on a person eventually. It's any wonder all this hasn't taken such a heavy toll on her before now." He added.

I knew exactly where he was going with this.

"Stop... You shouldn't pull the guilt card. I have to go."

"I'll pull out any damn card I well please here. Especially when my son is placing his own life on the line!"

"How can you sit there and judge my actions when you yourself know what this calling comes with." I snapped back, feeling my anger grow upon his remarks.

"I don't judge... I just don't understand. There's a difference."

"We don't have to argue about this-"

"We sure in hell do! I've spent most of the evening trying to understand your side of things and the truth is... I don't."

"How can you not?"

"You've got your whole damn life ahead of you, Jacob. You seem to forget I was here when you fell apart over Bella choosing that leech over you. Her ill thought out decision sent you reeling in anguish for months. You lost yourself when you lost her. I would've given anything back then to make that girl come to her senses and by some miracle... That's exactly what happened. Now she's here... with you... She left Florida behind and came back to Forks for you. Something you've wished for... longed for... and now your willing to throw it all away."

His words had my reply coming out harshly. "I'm not throwing it away... I'm** protecting** it."

"At the risk of yourself! What good is all this fury you plan to unleash on that demonic city, if it takes you down in flames with it? TELL ME WHERE THE JUSTICE IS IN THAT! Do you not see what you'll do to her if that happens?"

"It won't-"

"Don't give me that empty promise. I know better. You can profess that to Bella till the sun rises... Anything to comfort her right now... Anything to make her agony over this a little more bearable, but I know you can't really promise such a thing. You yourself don't know what will happen, so don't bother trying to placate your old man. Either way Jacob... We will lose you... either to the beast... or to the demons that call Voltera home."

He wheeled himself away from me, and I noticed his movements were slower than before. His arms appearing stiff and his face wincing when he passed me.

I followed him to his room, carefully observing him and seeing his face still angry when he turned to glance back my way.

"What?" He snapped. His tone stern with me.

"You're stiff." I stated, lifting him out of his chair and placing him on the bed.

"I'll be fine. You shouldn't worry about me. You should worry about yourself."

I shook my head and helped him settle in for the night.

"So damn stubborn... just like your mother." He huffed.

"You're well known for stubbornness yourself dad... Goodnight." I sighed in reply.

His hand firmly caught my arm when I turned to head for the door. "Jacob..."

The sound of his strained tone had me turning back to face him. The look of genuine fear etched in his gaze made my angry resolve slip.

"... When your mama died... I didn't know if my heart could ever truly love again. But then I had you and your sisters. You all were my reason for living each day... my reason for not giving up when I wanted to. When you have children of your own one day, you'll understand what I mean. "

I sat down on the edge of his bed, feeling the heaviness of his words hit me. "I know dad. We're not gonna agree on this and that's okay. But I need you to trust me and understand my reasoning behind it. I need you to do something for me?"

"Name it..."

"I need you to watch over Bella for me when I'm gone. Some of the pack will be staying behind to keep a watchful eye over the house in my absence. But she's gonna need you and Charlie more than ever... please take care of her for me..."

"You know I will."

"Thank you."

"You won't think about this any longer? Reconsider?" He sighed heavily, his sorrowful gaze meeting mine.

"No... " I replied, turning off his lamp and heading out of his room.

"Of course not... you're truly your mothers son..."

"... And my father's, too.. Goodnight dad... I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, son."

I stayed awake the rest of the night, spending the early hours of approaching dawn in my garage with a map and pencil, taking adequate time to outline the main entry points into Voltera and waiting for the sun to come up before calling Paul. He answered on the third ring and agreed to meet me in the garage.

I told him to alert the rest of the pack and bring them along, with the exception of Sam. I wanted to address him face to face alone to discuss this, giving him more time to adjust to his new role as dad. The truth was, I planned on asking him to stay behind here at home and to be part of the watch group I would be assigning later. I didn't want him anywhere near the war in Voltera. His place now was here, close to home. I knew he would argue with me, but I needed him out of the action. His position here would be just as vital as it would be there.

When the sun peered in through the garage and the heavy frost began to lift, I rolled up the many maps and hid them, waiting for Paul to arrive with the others. It was time they all knew my plan. It was time they knew the war we would be marching into. The days of Aro's reign in Voltera were now numbered and I could feel the beast within, begin to slowly claw it's way back out. The steel caged bars that restrained him, beginning to bend now as he sought out his new destination.


	49. Chapter 50

**A/N: Hey everyone! :) Thanks for hanging in there with me! I have definitely noticed some indifference about Jake's decision. ;) Here's another chapter for your reading pleasure. Thank you to all once again and HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER FIFTY**

"A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love." -Marianne Williamson-

**(BPOV)**

Spending the afternoon with Sam and Emily had been a nice distraction for a little while, though I knew it couldn't last forever. When the evening drew near, Emily had given little Levi a bottle and tried to get him to sleep, but he was having a hard time settling down. His continued crying was beginning to wear on her after a few hours, so I offered to take him just so she could have a break and sit down. She had paced the house with him ten times over with no success yet. I tried rocking him and walking with him myself for over thirty minutes to no avail. Levi remained fussy and unsettled.

Jacob and Sam had gone to the store after the football game had wrapped up, leaving Emily and I on our own.

"I don't know what's gotten into him tonight... He's done so well at night with sleeping. Hardly ever fusses after his bottle before bed."

"He's still adjusting... I'm sure that's all this is, Em."

Emily looked concerned despite my best effort to ease her worry. I had learned through Renee that all mothers worry. It was their given right to do so.

"Maybe I should call Sam-" She sighed, reaching for the phone just as Sam himself came walking in, arms full of grocerie bags and with Jacob trailing behind him. "You're timing is awesome tonight!" Emily beamed.

"Why?" Sam chuckled.

"I can't get Levi to settle for the night. He's been really fussy since you left."

"Here... " I sighed, offering Levi back to Sam. "Maybe daddy will do the trick?"

Sam scooped him up in strong arms and sat down with his wailing son in the living room. The defeated look on Emily's face tugging at my own heart strings. She was a new mom and looked a bit unsure of herself in the moment.

"Hey..." I sighed, placing a supportive hand on her forearm. "Don't beat yourself up. You're a wonderful mother, Emily."

Her smile to me was genuine, but her look not entirely convincing when she returned to scrubbing the pots and pans from our dinner. I got busy with helping her and found myself soon lost in my own thoughts.

Jake and I had barely spoken all afternoon. Our one sided conversation from this morning, proving to place a large wedge between us. He had offered me a side smile every few hours, but it lacked the genuine warm hue I ached to see again.

Whether or not this put us at odds was not my main concern. My main worry was that he wouldn't hear me and that his set mind remained made up.

The risk of him leaving was too great of one for me not to speak my damn mind. Things left unsaid never did anyone a damn bit of good. All it did was leave things messy and unresolved. I for one, wasn't willing to do that with Jacob and myself. I wanted him to hear me. Really hear me and know where my hearts cry was with all this.

Going to Voltera was bordering on the line of suicidal in my opinion. It wasn't that I doubted Jake's strength or abilities as the strong leader he was, it was rather instead that I was well too aware of his desperation to keep me safe... his deep longing for a family together and his strongly desired secured safety over our future children. I knew that's where his push to embark on this mission came from and while I loved his big beating heart, I loathed the stubbornness and unyielding nature he sometimes put forth.

Relationships were a give and take. I had learned that the hard way a long time ago. Back when I gave everything to Edward and he in turn gave nothing but miserable heartache to me. I never wanted to be placed in a position like that again, where I would lose my own self over someone, but with Jacob, everything was different... Better.

We had always been equals and for the first time in forever... I felt as if he was somehow trying to pull Alpha rank over me. Little did he know the fight I was willing to put forth to keep him here and safe with me. Land knows I came well by the strong headed and determined gene. Both my father and Renee carried it themselves. Jacob had no idea what he was in for.

There was a small part of me that was scared to push the limit too far with him on this, but at the end of the day... there was a much larger part of me that was beyond terrified of him not coming back.

He was acting on instinct and choosing to embrace the Alpha spirit. That decision alone had almost cost him too much. He was pushing this all too far and not thinking about the many consequences of his choices.

Emily's small whisper next to me brought my attention back to the dish I had nearly scrubbed the pattern clean off from. "Hun... that dish is clean enough for Royalty to dine on."

"Sorry..." I sighed, my hands reaching for another dish to scrub.

"You're not alone in this, Bella. Remember that okay? I know you're worried and I completely understand why. If the roles were reversed and this was Sam... I'd be screaming mad by now."

"I am. " I confessed.

"You don't seem that angry?"

"Trust me... My insides are screaming. They have been since he told me the truth."

"Maybe you should tell him exactly how angry you are? Have you spoken up?"

"I did just that this morning! It didn't exactly go well either... I expected him to yell back at me, but instead he just shut his mouth and listened to me scream in his garage until you guys showed up."

"He said nothing?"

"Nothing... It's like he was numb..."

"Maybe the Alpha spirit has dominated him enough so he no longer feels the pleading side of humanity?"

Her words had my head spinning... "You mean ... like he's become numb to what my needs are?"

"I wouldn't go that far. I was thinking more along the lines that he's no longer succumbing to the input or warnings of others... maybe even you. You see, when the Alpha spirit rules the man long enough, Bella... he loses that sense of self... be it temporary or be it permanent. That all depends on Jacob. How far he lets this go. Take it from one who knows... I've had the displeasure of staring into the empty black gaze of the man you love and seeing him nowhere to be found in there. It's scary as hell to behold and something I hope to never have to see again."

"Do you think he's at that point?"

"I think he's on the brink of it."

Sam's sudden presence behind us made the conversation go mute.

"Hey..." He sighed, pulling Emily around to face him. "Look at that..."

"What?"

Sam gestured toward the living room and my gaze followed Emily's, both of us walking away from the cold dishwater to see Jacob with a sleeping Levi on his chest. A new football game had started, but Jacob paid no attention to the loud sports announcers. Levi had captured his full attention.

The sight of him sitting there with Levi, sent the images of him with our own children playing on a steady stream through my mind. I longed for that simplistic future with him, so much so, that my eyes soon filled with tears. This was becoming more than I could stand. How was I supposed to kiss our future goodbye without a second thought? How the hell could I leave that fate in the hands of a sadistic monster like Aro?

I quickly gathered myself and dried the few remaining dishes next to the sink when Sam approached me.

"Bella? You seem upset?"

I shook my head and hung up the towel, my eyes blurred with the tears that wouldn't cease as my gaze fell back on Jacob. Sam followed my stare and his look went from concerned to intuitive.

"Something's wrong." He stated, glancing at Emily who kindly handed me a tissue.

"Nothing... it's nothing... just weepy from the moment I guess... You're family is beautiful, Sam. You're blessed to have it.-" The last word became strangled from my overwhelming emotion, making me pause and offer an apologetic look to Emily before turning away.

Sam's warm hand caught my arm, and I tried to shut my mouth. I tried to keep it bottled the best I could, but in the end I lost that struggle.

There was no way I could. It was simply too much to ask.

"Bella?"

I turned back to face him, seeing Emily's own eyes grow misty.

"One of you needs to tell me exactly what's going on here... please." Sam whispered to us.

Emily shot a glance toward Jacob who was still entirely captivated with baby Levi... too captivated to notice Emily half shoving Sam out the front door and taking me along by the hand with her.

"Outside Sam." She breathed.

Sam's look grew wide when she hurriedly and quietly shut the screen door, her eyes assessing me before she spoke. I gave her a nod of encouragement and she spilled it all to him.

"Jacob's going to Voltera. He plans to end the whole damn city and he's taking some of the pack with him."

Sam looked my way and I felt the hair raising fear return with Emily's blunt truth to him as she continued.

"He's leaving soon. No specific date set... yet anyway. He's going though, Sam. This is why he's been battling the inner beast so hard lately. It's almost destroyed him, but he's hell bent and determined to go and kill them all. We have to do something! We have to find a way to stop him. You know what this means!" She frantically whispered, gripping his arm.

Sam was silent for moments on end, glancing back toward the house a few times and his jaw clenching in stress.

"How long have you known about this?" He asked me, his tone direct.

"A few days."

"But he's been planning this for weeks?"

I nodded, seeing his resolve slip when a cuss left him. "Fucking hell... what is he thinking?"

Sam paced back and forth on the porch with us, his frustration evident.

"Anyone else know about this?" He soon asked.

"I'm not sure, Sam. What should I do... He can't go-... I can't-... I can't lose him-" My words were shaky and my throat tight.

"Telling me was the right thing to do, Bella. You're not gonna lose him cause I'm not letting him do this."

"He could pull rank on you, Sam." Emily cautioned.

"Than so be it. Taking himself and the others into that city would be like sending a lamb to the slaughter. We're not ready for that and neither is he. Making a move like this requires the vast numbers to back it up. We don't have that... Even with the elders... It would be a blood bath... Unless..."

Sam stopped his pacing and his gaze became fixed on the tree line ahead.

"Unless? Unless what, Sam?" I hedged forward.

"Unless his plan is to surrender all of himself to the beast... embrace the Alpha entirely... the rage would be enough to slaughter any threat in it's presence. That has to be his plan. Unleashing that would give him the needed strength to make up what he lacked in numbers. He would be a powerful destroyer and the Jacob you love today would be no more."

I shook my head and felt my stomach drop at his words.

"There is no coming back from that, Bella. You are the one person who can get through to him. We are all here to support you, but he won't respond to our warning the way he would yours. You have to try to get through to him. Do whatever it takes to make him see the severity of this. He thinks he can come back from it but he can't. If he ultimately surrenders to that kind of power, the beast will erase the man entirely... forever. There will be no coming back like before. His fate will be sealed to the Alpha's."

I was shaking when Sam reached for me, his embrace strong and secure. "Don't. Give. Up. Don't..."

"What if I can't make him see reason?"

"You can and we're here for you and with you if you need us. You're the best chance he has at turning this around, Bella. It won't be easy, but it's possible."

"Remember... " Emily sighed..."We're just a phone call away... we can be there in no time..."

I nodded and put on a brave face to go back inside. I was nearly through the door when Jake met us there. His arms now free.

"I put him in his basinet by the couch, Em. He's still out like a light."

"Thank you." Emily smiled. "Are you guys hungry at all for dessert? Got some fresh baked brownies over there from last night and there's vanilla ice cream in the freezer?"

"I'm still stuffed from dinner, Em. But thank you anyway. Another night?" Jake replied, his hand finding mine. It was one of the few times he'd touched me all afternoon and I welcomed it.

"I think we're all pretty beat, babe. I could turn in early myself now that Levi is sleeping sound." Sam chuckled.

"Okay." Emily sighed with a grin. "Next time then?"

"Definitely." I replied, feeling Jake draw me in closer to him, his lips pressing to my temple.

I tried to keep my composure as we said our good night's and made the trip back home to Jake's.

Small flecks of white began to fall down around us as we approached Jake's front door. The lights inside all off and a note from Billy telling us he would be gone for the evening. He usually said where, only this time he didn't and it made me worry for him.

"It's snowing..." I sighed, shivering a bit.

"Tis' the season, sweetheart. You should learn to see the beauty in Winter..."

"Yea... Well... Ice and snow certainly don't help the already uncoordinated such as myself. So I have good reason to not be fond of it. But I do like Christmas!"

"I know." He smiled to me as he unlocked the door and took my coat.

The light hearted conversation swiftly changed when Jake closed the front door. His gaze adverting mine when he spoke.

"We... never finished our talk... from this morning."

"I know..."

Sam's words came back to me with haste as I turned to walk away from him. My whole body feeling tense with anxiety.

I had to be strong... I had to stick to what Sam told me.

"I know you have more to say..." Jake sighed.

I slowly turned back to see his warm brown eyes meet mine. The look he wore uncertain.

"You should have something to say..." I replied.

"I do... I'm just not sure if you're ready to hear it, Bella. All we seem to do is fight lately."

"Well ready or not... say it... just say it. No point in waiting."

"I hate fighting with you, Bells and it's the last thing I want to do... But the truth still stands for me. I can't ask you to understand or to even support my choice. But I need you to know that I'm not trying to be a selfish ass. I know you think I am... I can't blame you, but that's not my intent here."

My reply to him was bordering on angry. "It is **selfish.** You're not **_thinking about us_**... or what our future could be-"

"That's all I think about, Bella...**_ All I think about_**... every fucking minute of every day it's on my mind. Going to Voltera is for us-"

"No!" I yelled, taking a step toward him. "It's not just about us or for us. You're not ready for this, Jacob and neither is the pack. You're letting the fear of what might happen in the future rule your right now and look what it's doing to us!?"

"What might happen in the future? You make it sound like the Volturi may or may not decide to drop by. It's not a matter of if, but **when**. I am ready-"

"NO you're not! You think you can turn yourself over to the beast within and then take your own power back in time, but you're wrong. You can't undo that once it's done, Jacob. I will lose you... forever and there is absolutely nothing you could possibly say to me right now that would make me see this act of yours as anything but selfish."

He was silent. His heated gaze going right through me.

"Have faith-."

"Don't talk to me about having faith, Jacob. Not when you're choosing this. I've asked you to put your faith in us and you're choosing now not to."

"That's** not** true!" He yelled, taking a long stride toward me. His eyes narrowing in anger.

"It is exactly true." I bit back. "Tell me... is this some kind of sick revenge on me for all I put you through when I was stupidly involved with Edward? Cause for the life of me, I can't understand why else you would torture me like this. I can't sleep... or hardly eat... Sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe. Every damn time I close my eyes, I can see them killing you, Jacob..."

I turned and walked swiftly away from him to the kitchen, in need of a drink of water.

"Bella..." He called after me, following me in. "This is part of what I am."

My hands were shaking when I gripped the glass full of water in them. My mouth dry and my throat tight.

"No..."

"You knew what I was called to be..."

"No ..."

"Yes..."

In that moment, I had lost all sense of restraint when I whipped around to face him, tossing the glass in the sink and shattering it. "Stop it!" I screamed. "STOP making excuses here. Of course I know what you're called for... what you were born to do... to lead... I understand that and I understood it when I fell helplessly in love with you, too. Even when my head warned me not to fall so deeply in love with someone that I lose myself, ever again. But you know what, Jacob? You can't help who you love or how much you love them, and I love you, yet it doesn't seem to be enough."

I was raging angry when his only reply was silence.

"For shit's sake... maybe Emily was right after all..." I breathed, walking out around him, his hand catching my arm when I tried to pass by.

"Right about_ what_?" He sighed.

"You..."

"What about me?"

"I told her everything. Sam knows too, now." I snapped, pulling my arm out of his grasp.

"You told them?"

"Yes I told them, Jacob!"

"**Why?"** He yelled, his eyes darkening with fury.

"Because I am tired of carrying this weight alone and I need some help to get through to you! I can't do this alone! And that's exactly where you plan to leave me... alone."

I couldn't help but yell and his tone told me he was growing to be just as angry.

"You shouldn't have told them!" He barked.

"**And you shouldn't be going!**"

He opened his mouth to reply but soon shut it and turned away from me. His sudden silence taking me by surprise. I expected more argument from him.

"I_ can't_ keep doing this..." I heard him mutter under his breath. "It's exhausting and _I'm spent_."

"What...?"

"I'm tired of arguing with you about this. It's getting us fucking nowhere."

"You're the one who won't see damn reason, Jacob."

He abruptly turned back around to face me. The sudden move, temporarily silencing any other biting remark I may have thrown his way.

"**Reason**?" He snapped. **"Reason, Bella?** You want me to see reason? ... Do you know what went through my head the entire time I held Levi today?"

I silently shook my head in reply, seeing his gaze morph from anger to anguish.

"Every minute I held him, I kept thinking to myself... 'I can't give the woman I love a family like Sam has until the threat hanging over her is gone.' You make me sound like my intent isn't for you to be safe. You make it sound like I am too ignorant to see what demise may be in front of me... in front of **MY** pack. Don't you think I've thought about all that until my head was pounding and my stomach churning? You think I wanted it this way?"

His question was sharp and his tone low when he spoke. I kept silent as he went on.

"No... It's not where I planned to be right now... not at all. If I had it my way... We would've been together without all this... all the danger that surrounds you. If I had a choice, I would've chosen the path the led me to you and erased Edward Cullen. The two of you would have never been. But I don't get a choice. This is the choice the Volturi left me. This is the hand I've been dealt and I'm not gonna leave it up to them to come for you. Have you even stopped to think about what's been going on in my head these past weeks? Huh?"

"I know you're-"

"No... you don't know. You have no idea the kind of agony this comes with, Bella. And now to top it all off were at odds. What the hell do you want from me?" He yelled.

My anger rose within my chest and I yelled my reply right back. "You know what I want from you... what I NEED from you. I've told you-"

"IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"WHY? Why is it so impossible to stay here and face this with me. You're taking away my choice and that's not fucking fair! I get a say! As someone who wants to spend the rest of my life with you... I GET A SAY! THERE'S TWO of us in this relationship, Jacob! Or have you forgotten that?"

He went utterly mute then, his look angry as he stormed off outside. I thought about waiting... pondered on the idea of letting him cool it for a bit, but my anger and fear pushed me outside with him. We were soon yelling in his garage. The bitter cold wrapping itself around me and making me shake.

"Go back inside! You'll freeze out here with no jacket!" He snapped, tossing his tools on the workbench.

"I'm fine!"

"Bella, it's fucking frigid out here."

"I don't care, I'm not letting you run away from this. If we fight all night, that's fine with me."

"Good to know." His sneered over his shoulder.

I stood my ground and was determined to get him to really hear me... Sam's prior words reminding me that I needed to do whatever it took to get to him. Anything to make him see.

"I don't matter enough for you to stay..." I muttered, knowing I was reaching a new low but desperately trudging onward anyway.

He turned before the last word had fully left my mouth. His gaze immediately looking like I'd slapped him.

"You know what, Jacob... You're right... arguing like this is getting us nowhere. I'm going back to Charlie's. Staying here with you is pointless right now."

I was ready to push as far as I had to... No matter how much it may hurt me in the process.

I turned on my heel and headed for the house. My teeth chattering from the harsh cold as I packed my bag. I quickly gathered my many clothes and tossed them into the duffel bag, zipping it closed and ready to leave for Charlie's. I couldn't believe we were here again. The last time I'd left for a few days was to give him some space, and this time it was for me and me alone. The last time I had gone, I didn't know what was going on with him, now I was unfortunately fully aware.

I turned to leave his room and stopped where I stood to see him now leaning against his door frame.

"Don't do this." He sighed, his eyes meeting mine.

"I don't want to. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you... trust me."

I walked out around him, feeling my emotion hit me hard when I reached the front door, lingering there and trying to hold firm. The feel of his warm hand slipping around mine, and taking my bag from me, had my firm stance fading some.

"I just can't do this with you anymore. I need to show you something..." He sighed. "Come with me?"

His tone was softer and I reluctantly followed him back out to the garage, watching him as he retrieved some rolled up paper, and laying it out before me on his work bench. My eyes read the map and trailed up the path he had clearly outlined into the city of Voltera.

"I drew this up the other night."

My eyes bulged when I saw the detail of his route. The notes he'd added and the alternate destinations well defined in case something went wrong.

He soon rolled them back up and handed them to me. "Here..."

I glanced at him in confusion, unsure what the hell he wanted me to do with them.

He saw my confusion and set them down next to me, his hands coming to reach for mine. I backed up for a moment, feeling like this was his way of making me cave, knowing his warmth would invade me the way it always did and I would soon struggle to remember what we were fighting for. I couldn't afford to do that right now... not this time. This was worth the fight.

It was evident that my sudden draw back from him had taken him by surprise. His eyes meeting mine and his hands outstretched to me anyway.

"Bells... " He heavily sighed. "I won't risk losing you... for anything... even this... and if you think my actions have been selfish... I'm sorry. I thought a lot today at Emily and Sam's... thought a lot about what you said this morning..."

He paused and slowly drew me in closer, his lips pressing softly to my forehead with a tender kiss before he continued.

"... You're right..."

I glanced up to see his eyes meet mine with sincerity. "... about everything... as much as I want to slaughter that whole damn city ... Leaving you here and taking away you choice in the matter is wrong. Not hearing your fear and going anyway is ignorant, even though I didn't intend it to be. I realized today that you need to know you're heard."

His warm hands came to cradle my face. "I do hear you... and I can't ignore what you said. You need me here... So here is where I'll be. I gave the maps to you to hold onto for me, cause the day will come when we need them. Whether its sooner or later... it will happen. But we'll face it... together."

I was almost certain my mind was playing some sort of cruel trick on me... or did he finally see my hearts need?

"You're... You're n-not going?"

I was answered with his kiss, soft and full of meaning. His whispered words finally placing my heart at peace.

"No... You need me here. But make no mistake, honey. When they come here for you, and they will, I'm going to destroy every last one of them."


	50. Chapter 51

**CHAPTER FIFTY - ONE**

**(JPOV)**

Everything I thought I knew had been wrong. We lacked the numbers needed in order to demolish that city. Despite the knowledge of this, I still longed to destroy it all and anything that lay in it, but I would be negligent to Bella's needs if I chose to trudge forward without her approval. If the tables were turned, I would expect her to consider me in the very same way.

When Sam showed up at my front door the next morning, it had been expected.

"Glad you're up." He sighed, handing me a mug full of coffee. "We need to talk."

"I already know why you're hear. Bella beat you to the punch. I hear her... what she needs. I'm not going through with it... not right off at least."

"Good... I'm glad you saw reason. You needed to."

"What I _need is numbers _and it's something we don't have_."_

"Look Jake... I get it... Okay? I get why you want to end that miserable and demonic city, but it could've turned into a blood bath."

"Why do you think I'm not going?" I replied, setting my coffee on the table.

"I know... Listen... There's another reason I stopped in. Your dad... He got a little wasted last night. His friend from the Res dropped him off at Sue's early this morning. She's trying to sober him up with some coffee before bringing him back home."

"He got drunk?" I sighed, knowing why and feeling all the more like an absolute selfish ass because of it.

"Yea... he was pretty damn wasted according to her."

"Dad hasn't even touched a hard liquor bottle since... mom... passed..."

"I know. Can't blame him though for worrying over you."

"No... No I can't." I sighed, shaking my head at the mess this had caused.

"Give him some time. He'll cool off and come home later."

I nodded, seeing Sam's exhaustion he wore. His eyes reflecting little to no sleep.

"Levi have a rough night?" I asked.

"He slept pretty well till two this morning and then fussed until dawn." He yawned, taking another long haul from his coffee mug.

"You know Sam, you and Emily could always take a night off. Bella and I would keep Levi for the night. Anytime..."

"I might just take you up on that sooner than later, Jake." He chuckled. "Besides... it gives you practice!"

My smile faded as I pondered the threat of Aro still lurking over our heads at the mere mention of kids with Bella. Sam took notice of my swift mood change and chose a new topic.

"So ... council meeting tomorrow?"

"Yea... at noon... be there?"

"I will... if I can stay awake through it." He laughed.

"I'll bring you some extra coffee."

"Sounds good." He yawned, glancing down at his wrist watch. "Well, I better be going. Emily will need a break here soon. I'll see you later Jake."

"Sure thing." I replied, watching him head out into the cold morning air.

I immediately dialed Sue when his truck was out of sight. My guilt over dad weighing heavily on me. Sue answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sue... Sam just dropped in..."

"Oh... So you know about last night?"

"Yea... is he still there with you?" I asked.

"He's sitting right here... On his third cup of coffee. I can bring him home in a bit."

"No... I uh... I'd like to come get him. I'll be over soon?"

"Sure... I'll let him know, Jake."

"Thanks..." I replied, ending the call and seeing Bella wander down the hall from my room. Her eyes still heavy with sleep when they met mine.

"Morning, honey."

"You're up pretty early?" She asked.

"Sam stopped in..."

"This early?"

"He wanted to talk... but I told him you beat him to it."

I saw her bite down on her bottom lip, nervously tucking her hands into the long sleeves of my flannel shirt with apprehension clear on her face.

"You're... not mad still ... are you? About me telling him?"

I stood and drew her to me, feeling her shiver from the cold. "No... I'm not mad. If anything... I'm guilty."

"Of what?" She asked, her eyes coming to seek mine.

"Sam let me know that dad got wasted last night. He's over to Sue's... sobering up."

"What?" She sighed, "Billy hasn't been drunk in years... since-"

"I know..." I sighed, releasing her. "I'm gonna go get him. We gotta talk. I feel awful."

"Want me to come with you?"

"No, honey... It's freezing out. I'll be back before you know it. Besides... I really like you in my shirt. Keep it on? It looks way better on you than it does on me.'

"I strongly disagree." She laughed, pouring herself a cup of coffee and returning to me for a kiss. "Don't take too long?"

"I won't... promise."

She handed me her keys and my jacket with a grin. "I'll be here... waiting."

I smiled to her in return and headed out to Sue's. My mind wandering back to the time right after mom had died. How dark a place that was for dad. I didn't want him to ever return to that... especially because of me.

He was waiting for me on Sue's porch with her when I pulled in, all bundled up and ready to go. Sue hugged me and I thanked her for watching out for him. She simply waved me off with a smile as I loaded dad into Bella's truck. The silence between us loud and angry.

Neither one of us said a word till I was driving down the dirt road that led to the old grave yard where mom was laid to rest years ago. I hadn't been to see her stone all Summer and I missed her.

Dad's words were sharp when he finally broke his silence. "Where are you going?"

"To see mom."

"Take me home, Jake." He huffed, looking out the passenger side window.

"I will ... After we see mom."

"JAKE!" He yelled when I parked the truck and got out to place him in his chair. "I DON'T wanna be here-"

I crouched down in front of him, making us eye level and seeing his angry gaze meet mine.

"I'm sorry."

He went silent, his heated gaze looking away from me and toward mom's head stone a few rows ahead. "I know you're angry... and you got every damn right to be. I didn't think enough about you... I should've. You had to bury her too soon dad, and I was selfish to put you back in that dark place."

He didn't say anything as I stood and pushed him along the dirt road that led to moms stone. She had many visitors throughout the Res. Always stopping by to place flowers and wreaths over her stone. Sue always took the time to watch over her stone as well. Placing small pumpkins around it for the Fall season. The sight of it had a lump in my throat. It killed me to know she would never see me marry Bella... never have the chance to grow old with Dad... to watch her family grow... to have the blessing of holding her own grandchildren.

I sat down in front of her stone, feeling the familiar ache hit my chest at seeing her name there and hearing the sound of her infectious and beautiful laughter echo around my memory. I missed her so damn much.

"You're. Just. Like. Her." Dad sighed.

"... She wouldn't have been as thoughtless."

"You're wrong, my boy. She would've been just as head strong and determined. You come well by it."

I nodded and heard dad clear his throat. His words strained when he continued to speak.

"I know why you're going. Why you want to go. I understand your determination, Jacob. I'm just not ready to bury my son."

"You won't ... I'm not going."

He met my gaze and I saw his look of shock.

"Bella... She needs me here. The timing isn't right. But I know they'll come for her and when they do... we'll be ready... all of us."

"You're making the right choice, Jacob." He sighed in relief.

"No more drinking, dad... alright?"

"Deal..." He chuckled, his gaze sincere to me. "Bella must be relieved?"

"She is but she knows they'll come for her and she knows where I stand on it when they do."

"Of course... Hard to believe Thanksgiving is three days away."

"I know... already."

"I was thinking it might be nice to have Thanksgiving dinner over to Charlie's with everyone? He's not working this Holiday."

"Bella would love that, I'm sure. I'll talk to her about it later. We have a lot to discuss still." I replied, seeing a mischievous grin form on my father's face.

"When _do you_ plan to tell her about the _house_?"

"On Thanksgiving..." I smiled back.

"You've done damn well to keep it hidden from her all this time. I was sure someone would have spilled the beans on it by now, considering everyone knows... but Bella. Charlie was asking when you planned to tell her a few nights ago when he called."

"Things have been a little crazy lately..." I sighed.

"Yes... but the two of you are more than entitled to some well deserved happiness and this will surely make her happy!' He chuckled, patting me on the back.

"I hope so. I still have to move our things out without her noticing... that's a day project alone..."

"You could always have Emily kidnap her for the day? Take her shopping or something in Port Angeles? That would buy you some time."

"That might actually work. I'll call her on the way home, see if she could help me get her out of the house and away from town tomorrow."

"Sounds like a hell of an idea."

I had waited for weeks to tell Bella about the house... Our house.

It was Sue Clearwater's old home that she had sold to dad when Harry passed away. Dad had done some small renovations on it himself and informed me I was welcome to it about a year ago... Said he wanted me to take it for my own and fix it up, so I could move out and have my own place on the Res, yet still be close by. All this was before Bella came back.

I had spent any free time prior to her return, fixing it up and doing what little renovation I could afford. When she came, my drive to make it a real home, changed drastically and I had made several calls to help speed up the process since then.

The truth was, If I had the means and money, I would have built her a house with my own two hands, but the house Sue had sold to dad was certainly welcoming enough to be our starter home. After all... Every couple had to start somewhere.

I couldn't wait to see her beautiful face light up with a smile when I showed her. I couldn't wait to make memories there with her. Christen every room with her...

I wanted it all... Every damn dream.

This would be our start... together.


	51. Chapter 52

**A/N: Hello once again! Thank you to all the loyal followers of this story! Here's an updated chapter for your reading pleasure. Feel free to review as always... HAPPY READING :)**

**CHAPTER FIFTY - TWO**

**(BPOV)**

The morning passed by with ease and for the first time in a long time, I felt at peace. My heart and mind no longer plagued with the worry of Jacob's feared impending trip to Voltera. I wasn't so naïve to think that this meant all was seemingly well, or that Aro wasn't watching me close, but I took immense comfort in knowing Jake would be here and not choosing to bring the battle to them.

I was on my second cup of coffee and reading the morning paper when my cell rang, the caller I.D. telling me it was Emily. I eagerly answered it with a smile.

"Morning."

"Good morning. Sam just got home a while ago and told me the good news. I'm so happy to hear the two of you talked everything out."

"We did and he's agreed not to go... for now."

"I'm more than relieved for you." She replied, her returning smile evident even over the phone. "Listen... I was wondering what your plans were for the day tomorrow?"

"Well... I planned on making a much needed run to the grocery store... Thanksgiving is fast approaching and I have yet to connect with Charlie and see what his plans are..."

"... Maybe we could go together and then head to Port Angeles after for some shopping for us? I need some new jeans. My old ones are too tight now ... with the extra 15 pounds I've packed on from baby weight."

"Em, you look great. Radiant even. So... Clothes shopping?" I asked.

"Yes... please come with? It would give us time together to catch up and get Little Levi out for the afternoon?"

Her always warm and welcoming tone had me already eager to go.

"Okay... lets meet here at around... noon?"

"Works for us!" Emily beamed.

"Great. It's a date. So how did little Levi do last night after we left?" I asked.

"Not great. He slept until the wee hours of the morning and then decided he was done sleeping." She sighed heavily.

"You sound tired, Em?"

"I am tired... and a little discouraged if I'm being completely honest." She admitted.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just overwhelmed I think. Been hard breastfeeding him these last few days. I can't seem to keep him full enough."

"Well... have you gone back to the doctor? They should be able to help you... give you some tips?"

"I have a follow up appointment next week. I'll bring it up to her then and see what she says."

Her tone sounded defeated and I got the feeling that her exhaustion played a big role in that.

"Try to take a nap today? Maybe some rest will make you feel better? Anything I can do?" I offered.

"That's really sweet of you, but I think our day out tomorrow will help me a lot. Just to have a change in scenery for the afternoon." She replied.

"Well, please don't hesitate to call us if you ever need anything else. You know I'd come right over."

"I know and I love you both for that. Please tell Jacob that we said thank you for the offer to keep Levi over night sometime soon. That was really sweet of him to offer for us to get a break."

"... absolutely..." I replied, unaware he had even offered our babysitting services. The knowledge of his kind gesture bringing a wide smile to my face.

"I'll see you at noon tomorrow?"

"I'll be waiting!" I replied. "Love you..."

"Love you too, Bye..."

I hung up with the same wide grin in place. Jacob had offered to keep Levi for them. It was beyond kind and made me only love him all the more.

It was hard to believe that the Thanksgiving Holiday was soon upon us and I was no more prepared than I was a few weeks ago for it. I had to get ahold of Charlie and find out what his plans were. I hadn't seen much of him as of lately and found myself missing him a lot more today than usual. I called him a few times but it went directly to his voicemail.

I assumed he was probably working another double shift down at the station.

By the time Jake came back home with a sobered Billy in tow, I was showered and dressed for the day and eagerly awaiting the chance to take my truck into Forks so I could see Charlie.

I met them both at the door, holding my hand out with a smile in search for my keys.

"Hey... where are you headed off to?" Jake asked, pulling me in for a kiss.

"To Forks for a bit. You have patrol this afternoon anyway, right?"

"I do... till the evening."

"I wanted to see Charlie for a while... I miss him." I sighed, meeting Billy's gaze.

"Mind asking your old man if we could gather for Thanksgiving at his house this year? Would be real nice to have everyone there?"

A wide smile formed on my face at the thought of everyone together under his roof. It would be wonderful.

"Sure! I don't see why he would mind! I'll ask him when I see him today."

Billy smiled and wheeled himself in toward the kitchen, leaving Jake and I lingering there by the front door.

"Will you be back when I get home from patrol?" He asked, his warm and soft lips brushing mine as his hand wandered down to my backside.

"Yes... I definitely... will." I breathed, trying to remember that we were certainly not alone.

"Good..." He whispered, playfully swatting my backside with a wink as I turned to leave. "I'll be waiting, Bells."

His words had my insides damn near liquefying and my heart set off racing like wildfire. The affect he had on me was breath taking and at times, utterly paralyzing. I drove to town and my mind was plagued with the memory of how good his bare skin felt against mine... how amazing we were together...

I forced myself to get a grip when I neared the Police station in search for Charlie. The rose colored blush on my cheeks, visual proof of my not so innocent line of thinking on the drive over. I tried to keep my thoughts clean as I walked into the Station, my eyes searching for Charlie at his desk. To my surprise, it was empty and looked untouched.

I asked some of his coworkers where he was and they informed me he had called in this morning, claiming to be sick. Dad hadn't taken a personal day since the shooting and his record prior to that was hardly ever marked with sick time. Charlie always worked, even if he should have stayed home. I could recall many times he would go in, despite the fact he had a horrible cough or even a slight fever. He would work his scheduled shift anyway.

I got back in my truck and sped toward the house, calling him a few more times on the way over and still getting nothing but his voicemail. When I neared the driveway, I saw his cruiser was home and pulled in behind him.

There were two untouched newspapers laying on the welcome matt by the door. I scooped them up and knocked. It took me three tries before he finally answered. His disheveled appearance revealing to me that he was indeed home sick from work.

"Hey kiddo..." He coughed, taking the papers from me.

"You really are sick." I stated, following him into the house, which was an absolute mess. "Do you have the flu?"

"Think so... Missed my yearly flu shot this season. Really paying for it now." He sighed, sinking down into his easy chair.

"Dad... why didn't you call me earlier? I would've come over and helped you."

"Your old man can take care of himself, Bella. No need to fuss over me."

"I beg to differ." I sighed, gesturing to the many dishes piled up on the coffee table.

"Okay... so maybe the place is a bit... messy."

I shook my head and began piling the dishes in the sink. "You really should have called me... or Jacob..."

"Jacob's got enough on his plate at the moment and so do you. I'm alright." He stubbornly huffed.

"Well... you're stuck with me now." I chuckled, draping a large afghan over him. "I'm gonna stay and take care of you."

"You don't have-" He began to protest, but soon hushed when he saw my raised eyebrow expression.

"You need some soup and tea... and cough medicine. Do you have a fever?"

"Nah... cold as all hell, tho."

"I'll make you some hot soup." I offered, while cleaning up the mess around me.

I spent much of the remaining day with him. Taking the time to straighten out the house and do some much needed laundry for him. Come dinner time, his coughing seemed to get worse and I debated on staying the night. Just to be sure he was alright.

I dialed Billy and left a message with him for Jacob, telling him I would be here for the evening. I knew he'd end up showing up eventually anyway.

As the hours passed into the night, the conversation with Charlie took a new turn, one I hadn't been expecting.

"Say Bella... I really appreciate you doing all this."

"You always took care of me when I was sick. It's the least I can do to return the favor, dad."

"Jake know you're staying here?"

"I left him a message with Billy."

"I'm not interrupting any plans for you am I?"

"No... I have plans with Emily tomorrow, but I'll call her and tell her to come meet me here instead. No big deal." I replied.

"Sam must have his hands full with the new baby?"

"They both do." I chuckled. "He's the sweetest thing I've ever seen... so tiny..."

My father suddenly muted the television and straightened himself in his recliner. His look more serious now.

"I'm glad they're happy... and I'm really glad you're happy." He sighed.

"I am... Jacob... makes me... whole."

Charlie's smile was genuine and sincere when his earnest gaze met mine. "You know... you're mama used to say that about me... about us... when we were young and just starting out. She was real happy here herself at first, but then it seemed almost like she outgrew this small little town. Wanted to spread her wings and fly elsewhere, you know?"

"Mom was young, dad-"

"So are you..."

His words had my full attention as an uneasy feeling crept its way over me at the new turn of this conversation.

"I am... but-"

"Bella... Listen honey." He interjected, his hand reaching for mine. "I love you. You know that right? Even if, over the years, we grew apart, and things that happened between me and your mother played a huge part in that, But we found a way back to each other when you came to live here and I wouldn't change that for anything. I just... want you to promise me something?"

I nodded, seeing how serious his eyes were and all the while, trying to understand where this had come from.

"... I know you love Jacob. Hell... I love him too. Like a son. But you're my little girl, Bella. No matter how grown you are now. That won't ever change, honey. I need you to promise me that you'll always be true to yourself... your dreams ... and what you want, too... okay?"

I was silent for a moment, our gaze on each other's while he awaited my reply.

"Dad I... I am being true to myself. For the first time in a long time, I know what I want with my life. I know who I want to spend it with and my dreams are coming true just by following my heart ... Where is all this coming from?"

"I just don't wanna see you and Jacob crumble the way your mama and I did. The two of you are still real young, Bella and jumping into something... too fast... or too soon... could be the wrong move... Just... Just... be sure you know where your dreams are with Jacob and outside of him, too. All I want as your father is for you to be truly happy. Now... I'm not saying I don't want you with Jacob. That's not it at all. Please understand where I'm coming from."

"I'm trying..." I sighed, still trying to fully grasp where he was headed with all this. "I just... don't understand why you're bringing this up all of a sudden?"

Charlie shook his head, trying to brush it off as nothing as he stood and went into the kitchen. Despite his sudden and untimely dismissal of our conversation, I knew the talk wasn't over and there was more to it and I planned to find out exactly what that was.

"Dad..." I hedged forward as he grabbed the papers from this morning and began to read them, seemingly ignoring me. "Care to enlighten me a bit on where exactly this is coming from. I mean, you seemed to adjust over time about Jacob... what he was? Has that changed?" I asked, my tone evident with nerves.

"No... No... that's not what I mean... I... what I'm trying to say is-" He huffed in frustration, now tripping over his own words.

"What's bothering you. We've come a long way since... Edward... all the lies... I want you to tell me what's on your mind?"

He pondered my simple request as he paced the kitchen floor. His eyes everywhere but on my own.

"I ... Wanna be sure you live your life to the fullest, Bella. Without anymore regret over the past... I'm just being a typical worried dad. That's all this is, alright?"

He gave me a slight nod as he passed by me. His attention now on the sports section in the paper. This didn't make any damn sense to me and left me wondering what the hell had brought it on in the first place.

I finished tidying up the kitchen and soon sat down next to him on the couch, my voice small but loud enough for him to hear me when I spoke.

"Do you think... I'm making some kind of mistake with Jacob?"

He tossed his paper down, looking suddenly agitated.

"Alright look... I didn't wanna lay this all out, but you know me well..."

"I do..."

"Bella, when your mother and I were married and had you, we were young... too young to settle down and try to figure the world out. When you're that age, you don't think about anything but the present. Your mind gets hung up there... makes you see things differently. Now that I'm older... I can see the hundred damn different ways I went wrong... a lot of what happened between your mother and I was my fault. Looking back now... I can see that."

"Dad... She-"

"No kiddo. It's the truth. You see ... you're mother wanted to discover new things, take new adventures, and me... I wanted to just settle right here. Lay roots and stay here for the rest of our lives. I didn't have the sense of adventure she did and it only tore us apart over time. At first, we worked through it well enough, but that didn't fix it... kinda like slapping a band aid on a bullet wound... you know?"

I nodded to him, listening intently to what he was saying.

"I know how much you love Jacob and I know how much he loves you, but what he is... what he's called for, Bella... Ties him here... forever. I'm a bit nervous for the two of you. I don't want to see what happened to me and your mother, play out with you and Jacob down the road, honey. You have dreams still... nursing right? We haven't even talked about that in weeks. Where are your dreams in all this? Are you still gonna pursue that?"

His endless questions had my mind running in over drive. Of course I wanted my own dreams... for myself... But Jacob was a solid and fixed part of them for me now.

"I have dreams still... of my own, dad... but Jacob is a huge part of them."

He nodded in understanding. "Okay kiddo... Enough with the heavy. Just something I wanted you to think about, alright? A little parental advice, if you will."

A knock came to the front door and Charlie stood to answer it. My head was still swimming with our conversation.

Did he think me staying here ... in this small town ... was somehow abandoning my own dreams? That me choosing to stay here with Jacob was me giving up my own goals? I was really beginning to feel like he was trying tell me something without actually saying it?

I remained confused to say the least.

The sound of Jacob's warm voice filtered through the house and interrupted my thoughts. Their conversation at the door effectively steeling my attention.

"Hey Charlie. You look... kinda rough?"

"Yea, been sick all day. Called out at the station. I'm sure you're here for Bella? I told her not to fuss over me but you know how she can be once she gets something in that stubborn head of hers."

"Yes sir... I do." He laughed in reply as I approached them.

"You can go on back to Jake's now, kiddo. I'll be fine."

"I'd really like to stay and be sure you're okay, dad." I insisted, feeling Jake's strong hand catch mine.

"Bella-" Charlie protested.

"Now dad... you yourself just stated how very stubborn I can be. So... do you really think arguing with me will get you anywhere?" I chuckled, my free hand now closing the front door to erase the chill that began to invade the warm house.

Charlie shook his head, grumbling to himself as he retreated into the living room.

"Dad gave me your message." Jake sighed, his lips seeking mine for a quick kiss. "How is he?"

"He thinks he may have the flu. No big deal, really. But I'd like to stay here with him tonight ... be sure he takes care of himself."

"You probably should. I have to run Seth's patrol now anyway. Turn's out... he has the flu, too. Must be going around."

"So you'll be close by?"

"His assigned run was with Paul along the border of Forks. I'll be right around here... not too far... if you need anything."

"Are you running all night?"

"Till dawn, honey."

I couldn't hide my disappointment and he was quick to notice it.

"I'll miss you... a lot. Stop in when you're done? I'll leave my window open... just enough." I sighed.

His response came in his lips capturing mine. My body being drawn to him and my lips instantly hungry for more.

"I'll be thinking of you." He breathed, his warm breath caressing my lips in a whisper of desire.

"I'll... try to wait up for you..."

"No... get some rest... My arms will be around you soon enough... till then... dream of me?"

"Always." I replied with a smile.

"So Sam tells me you're going out for the day with Emily tomorrow? He said she's really looking forward to it."

"Yes... that's the plan. I'm looking forward to it myself. It'll be nice." I replied. "Unless... you had other plans for me...?"

My hands began to wander up under his shirt. My fingertips grazing his warm skin and feeling the slight tremble beneath them from my touch.

I felt his hold on me tighten and his low husky whisper made my blood hum with desire for him.

"Other ... Plans?"

I nodded to him in reply, placing a soft kiss on his neck.

"You're making it damn near impossible for me to leave you, honey." He sighed.

"Sorry... Can't help myself." I admitted with a shy grin.

"You're not the only one... Trust me."

"Be safe and hurry back to me?"

"Always..." He sighed, soon releasing me.

I stood on the porch and watched him run off into the darkened woods of the night, my heart going with him. The very same way it always did... Every time.

I filled my hours of the evening with a hobby I had neglected to start up lately... Crocheting. Call me old fashioned, but there was something rather therapeutic about it for me. Renee had taught me when I was all of twelve and I'd only managed to make a few small scarves since then, but it was something I wanted to continue working at. It certainly proved useful in passing the time on a night like this. Charlie had fallen asleep on the couch shortly after dinner and with the aid of a healthy dose of Nyquil. He was surely down for the count.

As the 3 a.m. hour approached, my restlessness and lack of sleep began to take it's toll on me. My eyes were heavy when I poured myself a cup of tea, glancing out the window to see movement by the bordering trees. The back porch light now catching the glimmer of russet fur as it emerged from the forest. It's eyes glowing in the moonlight.

I quickly threw on my jacket and went outside to meet him, seeing his strong and majestic wolf stature approach me in return. I could see the shadowy figure of Paul's wolf form lurking close behind.

The cold air was brutal as I zipped up my jacket and drew near to Jake. His head lowering to meet my gaze as my hand reached out to touch the thick fur along his back. I watched in fascination as he moved himself several strides away from me, his wolf form blurring before me and erasing all traces of russet fur, leaving only the naked man behind for me to behold.

I couldn't take my eyes off him, seeing him approach me. My eyes drinking in his perfect naked body and my heart beginning to pound when he reached for me.

"Why are you still up, honey?" He asked, his tone whispered and caring.

"I was waiting for you..."

"You haven't slept at all?"

I shook my head and saw the concern in his gaze. "You're gonna be exhausted..."

"Well worth it." I replied with a grin. "I'll be waiting ... I love you."

His responding kiss was thorough and the feel of his naked body pressed to mine had a hungry moan leaving me before I could think better enough to stop it.

"You know..." I whispered against his soft lips... "If it wasn't nearly Winter out here... I'd have you take me... right here... in the woods."

"... And if Paul wasn't so close by... I would take you ... in these woods."

"I suppose I should get going then?"

He nodded, before stealing another chaste kiss and watching me walk away. I couldn't help but turn back around before retreating inside the house, just to catch one more glimpse of him. His perfectly sculpted naked body, enough to cause a small breathy moan to leave me.

I was startled nearly out of my skin when I quietly closed the front door and heard my father's baritone cut through the dawns silence.

"What the hell are you doing out there?" He grumbled.

"Jeez Dad!" I jumped back, nearly knocking over the coat rack with my clumsiness. "I didn't see you there..."

"I can see that. Why were you out there with him? Isn't he running... patrol... or whatever it is...?"

"Yea... with Paul. I just ... wanted to see him."

"Couldn't wait till he came creeping in through your window?" Charlie sighed, settling himself on the couch with a blanket.

"Well... I guess so... maybe..." I stammered, a crimson blush now rapidly forming on my snow white cheeks. "What are you doing up anyway? Need anything?"

"Nope... just more comfortable out here is all. Night kiddo."

I headed for the stairs and couldn't help the small laugh that left me, thinking he knew about the many times Jake had clambered in through my bedroom window. Charlie often knew more than he ever let on. I had to keep reminding myself of this.

I ended up drifting off before Jake came in, my eyes too damn heavy to remain open.

I awoke several hours later to the sun surrounding me and a warm voice pulling me out of the restful sleep I'd been in. I turned and pulled the heavy comforter over my head in defiance.

"Five more minutes ... please..." I yawned, feeling Jake pull the comforter down.

"You gotta get up, Bells. It's almost eleven now and Emily is on her way over soon. Don't wanna keep her waiting."

I threw the covers off me and nearly jumped to my feet when I realized the time.

"Eleven?! You let me sleep that late?" I sighed, quickly rummaging through my drawers for something to wear. "I haven't even had coffee yet... or showered-"

"... Or kissed me good morning?" Jake teased, wrapping his arms around my waist and placing a kiss at the base of my neck.

"Sorry... I'm rushed!" I replied, stealing a kiss and nearly running for the empty bathroom.

"When you're ready, come down. I made you breakfast. Charlie already ate something... but there's plenty for us."

His grin was infectious and I eagerly returned it, seeing the bright smile he wore when his gaze met mine.

"Okay... I'll hurry and be right down."

I showered in record time and emerged fully dressed soon after. The inviting smell of hot coffee with bacon and eggs, wafted its way through the house, making my stomach growl. I smiled wide to see Jake pull out a chair for me when I entered the kitchen. His happy mood making me kinda wish we were spending the day together. Don't get me wrong, I loved Emily and little Levi, but I missed Jacob. Our alone time together always seemed to get cut short, or conflict with his schedule somehow.

"You cooked all this?" I asked in awe, gesturing to the buffet displayed on the kitchen table. There was something of everything it seemed. Hash browns... orange juice... toast... bagels... coffee... eggs... even donuts.

"What?" He smirked, placing an empty plate and some silverware in front of me. "A guy can't just fix his girl breakfast?"

"Sure you can... but a girl can be suspicious, too!" I teased back, filling my plate with a little of this and that.

"Suspicious? Are you trying to say I did this out of guilt?" He chuckled, sitting across from me with his own well rounded plate.

"Maybe... tell me... Is there something you should feel guilty about that I'm unaware of?" I laughed.

Jake shook his head with a returning smart ass smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know?..."

"Jacob Ephraim..."

"Oh... you're serious now... middle naming me and all, honey."

I found our banter refreshing as we ate. It was nice to be light hearted once in a while.

"Thank you." I sighed, meeting his warm brown eyes and seeing a grin from on his handsome face.

"You're welcome, honey."

We talked a lot about pack business over breakfast. He explained to me how he had worked out a few new patrolling schedules in an effort to give Seth more responsibility.

"He's ready for it." Jake grinned.

"He seems to be a lot more mature and responsible. I think it's a great idea. He really looks up to you, you know?"

"I know he does... crazy kid."

"Did dad go back to sleep upstairs?" I asked.

"No... He headed in to work after he ate. Said he was feeling better and he'd give you a call later."

I shuffled the remaining food around on my plate, thinking back to our serious and unexpected conversation yesterday.

"But... He seemed okay? To you? When he left I mean?" I asked.

Jake nodded, his eyes assessing my worried look. "Why do you ask, honey? Something wrong? He seemed to think he only had the twenty-four hour flu bug that's been going around."

"I know... I'm sure he's... fine." I sighed, taking another bite of egg.

"You're concerned about something with him... I can see it. Tell me what's up?"

His question was interrupted by a knock on the door. I glanced at the stove clock to see it was time for Emily to be here.

11:57 a.m... ... Always on time and never late was her policy.

"Right on time." Jake chuckled.

"As always." I grinned to him in reply.

"You two have fun. And don't worry about the clean up in here. I got it." He offered, holding out my Jacket for me.

"Yea... but ... you cooked... I should at least stay a bit and help you clean up-"

He silenced me with a kiss. His hand going into my hair and making me forget my own damn name briefly.

"Bells... Go. Have a good time. You deserve it. Stay with her and shop all day. Seriously... I'm sure Emily needs this day out as much as you do, honey." He zipped up my coat with a smile and opened the front door where Emily was waiting with a grin on herself.

Everyone looked to be in an abundantly good mood this morning...

"Ready?" Emily chimed, handing me a coffee she had bought from the store.

"She's ready!" Jake answered for me. "Have a great day you two!"

"... Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help you clean up-?"

Emily's hand caught mine and she tugged me out onto the steps.

"I got this, Bells. No big deal. Here..." He sighed, reaching in his back pocket and pulling out his leather wallet with a salacious smirk. "Take this..."

I glanced down to see him hand me a hundred dollar bill and I quickly pulled my hand from Emily's in protest.

"No way... I'm not taking this... I don't-"

He silenced me again with another kiss and moved me closer to Emily.

"Go... have a great day, honey. Please..." He sighed. His sincere gaze making me shut my mouth with any more refusal and follow Emily to her car.

Jake waved to us from the porch and I waved back until he was out of sight. My hand clutched the crisp money and I laughed.

"What the hell is with him anyway?"

Emily grinned with a shrug. "Who knows... if you ask me... I'd take the money and run." She giggled, pulling out onto the highway. "Come on...Everyone needs a day to themselves. I'm sure he just wants you to have a good time. Where's the harm in that, Bella?"

I smiled back at her and couldn't help but feel like his good mood may have been influenced by something else... Something I was equally unaware of.


	52. Chapter 53

**CHAPTER FIFTY - THREE**

**(JPOV)**

I could tell Bella was already growing suspicious when I tried to rush her off with Emily. The truth was, we were already behind schedule this morning and I had to get my own ass in gear. The countdown was on... two days and counting before the big reveal. I was out the door within minutes of her leaving with Emily with a thousand different to do lists on my mind as I drove through town.

Sam, Paul, Seth, Quil, Jared, Leah and Embry were waiting on the front porch of the house with eager grins plastered on their faces at my arrival.

"Holy shit, Bro! We're burnin' daylight!" Paul scoffed, grabbing a new brush and a fresh bucket of paint to start working on the deck, which was in desperate need of a new coat.

"Does she know you bought all new furniture?" Leah asked, as she helped Seth and Jared unload one of the love seats from the rented uhaul.

"Nope... She knows nothing." I chuckled in reply.

"I gotta hand it to you, Jake. Keeping this secret from her this long... pretty damn clever!" Seth laughed.

"Well... we're not completely out of the woods yet. Two days left and counting!" I sighed, retrieving the hammer and nails from Sam to finish off the railing.

"It's damn genius if you ask me. She'll love it!" Leah added. "Where do you want this in the living room? Or do you trust my woman decorative skills enough to be the judge of that set up?"

"I trust your skills enough. Besides, she'll probably switch things around to her liking when we settle in anyway."

"True enough. Okay boys, bring it all in." Leah yelled to the rest of them, who began swiftly unloading the many pieces of furniture.

"How long do we have till we have to wrap this up today?" Sam asked, hammering away with me.

"That all depends on how busy and preoccupied Emily can keep Bella for the day. My hope is well into the evening. Got a lot to finish up before the big reveal."

"It'll be ready. No worries, bro. If I know Em, she'll have her shopping all day. She knows we need the time to finish up here."

"Good to know."

"How's your dad?"

"... Better... We have an understanding... I think." I sighed.

"Hope so... hate to think of him wandering down that dark road again. Been there, done that... shitty way to be."

"Agreed."

We worked well into the early hours of the evening, until our growing appetite's took over. Sam and I made a run to the pizza joint in town and we all took a much needed break before the sun set.

"Place looks awesome, Jake." Paul grinned my way.

"Thanks... Still needs some work... but..."

"... It's yours... and hers... says a lot right there." He quickly added.

I nodded in agreement, reflecting back on when I used to dream of her having a home with me someday. Back then, it felt like just that... a dream... and a pipe dream at that. But now... We'd given life that that dream and the wide grin on my face felt permanent from the knowledge of it.

I'm sure to some... it wouldn't be considered much, but to me this house was everything. I wanted our future here and I planned on making whatever dreams she wanted to come true_ here_.

Sure... the house was smaller than I'd like it to be, but it was in way better condition now than it had been before. I was damn proud of the progress made.

As dad always taught me... Anything worth having is certainly worth working for.

It was a lesson I was glad to have learned early on.

Dad had always worked hard and earned every damn thing he had and if I was lucky... I'd turn out to be half the man he was.

"Hey Jake... We brought your clothes from home? Where ya want them?" Embry yelled from the driveway.

"Just set them in the master bedroom. I'll sort through them later, bro."

He nodded and carried in the two huge boxes.

"Well that's one of ya packed... only one to go..." Sam chuckled, finishing his pizza in one big bite.

How the hell I was gonna get all her belongings from her father's place to here, without her noticing no less, still remained an unsolved mystery to me.

I stole a glance down at my wrist watch, seeing the time was almost five, and noting I had a two hour window right now, before she would be due back with Emily. I shot Em a quick text, asking her to please keep Bella occupied till seven and she agreed. With that confirmation, I took my window of opportunity and ran with it, grabbing Sam's truck keys and heading out.

"Can I borrow your truck?" I yelled his way, seeing him nod and offer me a thumbs up in reply.

I sped off to Forks, and met Charlie in the driveway when I arrived there. His patrol cruiser pulling in only a few moments ahead of me.

"Hey there Jake... Where's your ride?" He asked, noticing Sam's wheels instead of my own.

"Hey Charlie... I borrowed Sam's to come over and get some of Bella's things while I had the chance. Emily has her occupied with a shopping trip for another few hours. Figured I'd work fast while I still had the chance, right?"

His nodded reply was barely noticeable when he held open the front door for me. "Come in... I uh... put the boxes you asked for in her room earlier today. There's a few more empty ones down at the station if you need them ... case everything doesn't fit in those ..."

"I should be alright with just these. Thanks Charlie." I replied, quickly shaking his hand before heading up over the stairs.

I worked quickly and placed as many of her clothes in the boxes as I could, taking the many boxes out two at a time and seeing Charlie grab a few himself along the way. His help more than appreciated.

"I'll uh... make up some kind of excuse or something... so she doesn't come popping in and see her things missing... wouldn't wanna blow the surprise now... made it all this way..." He sighed, placing the last load of boxes in the back of Sam's truck with me.

"Absolutely... To be honest... I'm a bit nervous it'll get leaked out somehow between now and then. It's a damn miracle it hasn't yet with everyone knowing and all." I chuckled in reply.

I noticed the serious look he wore when his gaze met mine and it made me momentarily pause. The heavy silence now weighing on the both of us as we lingered there.

"You did real well here... with all this, Jake. Really made this happen. That was a big project and you did it." Charlie soon sighed.

"... With a lot of help..."

"Listen Jake... I know you're real busy and on a time crunch, but uh... There's something I wanna say..._ to you_."

I closed Sam's tailgate and took a few steps his way, intuition and plain old common sense, telling me where this conversation was headed. I was moving _his_ daughter out of _his_ house today. Even though she'd been staying with me on the Res for a while now, taking out her things was an entirely different move... A permanent one... And one that any good father, like Charlie, would have a hard time with. Bella was a grown woman, but to Charlie, she would always be_ his little girl_.

"...I'm not in too much of a rush... I got time..." I replied, meeting his gaze and seeing his eyes wander to the many boxes now stacked in Sam's truck.

"... Well... I know you got a lot to do... and uh... Things are crazy busy for you with all this... but uh..." He sighed, shaking his head a few times and clearing his throat.

Seeing him struggle with this the way he was, made me think. I could only place myself in his shoes... Someday... If and when Bella and I had a daughter... This would be hard as hell for me to swallow, too.

"... Charlie..." I replied, placing my hand on his shoulder and meeting his reflective gaze. "I_ promise you_... With all of me... I **will** take _good care of her_... always."

"I know..." He replied, clearing his throat once more. His gaze becoming misty when he took my offered hand, and firmly shook it in his. "I know you will. Let me know if you need anymore help?"

"I sure will." I smiled to him. "You and dad will be more than welcome there ... anytime Charlie. Our home is always open to you both ... Day or night."

"Thank you. That means a lot, son."

I released his hand and climbed back into Sam's truck, looking in the rear view mirror to see Charlie on his front steps waving as I drove away with Bella's things.

I had every damn intention of keeping my promise to him.

I would take good care of her..._ forever._


	53. Chapter 54

**A/N: Hello again everyone :) Here's another chapter update for you! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and thanks again to everyone for their continued support and feedback! Happy Reading!**

**CHAPTER FIFTY - FOUR**

**(BPOV)**

After nearly seven long hours of shopping with Emily, I was more than ready to sit down for dinner. Emily chose a small grill in town and we hurriedly piled the many bags from our shopping spree into the back of her now fully loaded trunk.

Little Levi had done surprisingly well. He'd slept the majority of the afternoon and I had to say, he had been a real trooper with us.

I checked my cell phone for the first time all afternoon, secretly hoping Jacob had left me a message of some kind, but to my disappointment, there was no awaiting text message or unheard voicemail to be received. It had been hours since I'd even talked to him...

"This was SO much fun, Bella!" Emily beamed over her large opened menu.

"It really was. I am so glad Levi slept as well as he did." I replied. " I honestly haven't had this much fun shopping since... well... I don't know when."

"I'm glad we did this. I hope you're as hungry as I am!?"

"After all the walking we did today... Absolutely. I could eat a horse!" I admitted, my eyes skimming over the many mouthwatering dishes to select from. What to choose...

I heard Emily's phone buzz on the table and watched a beautiful smile appear when she glanced at the lit up screen.

"That would be Sam."

"Checking in on you?" I asked.

"Of course. You know how that goes..." Emily grinned.

"Uh... actually... not today... I checked and Jake hasn't tried to reach me all afternoon." I sighed, the disappointment now clear as a bells ring in my voice.

"Oh ... really? I'm sure he's... busy with the pack meeting and trying to... prepare for the councils meeting, too. That's soon..." She replied, reassuringly.

"Probably."

The waitress took our order and Emily asked her if she would be kind enough to warm up a small bottle for Levi, who had stirred from his long afternoon nap and was now beginning to fuss. The waitress offered a smile and kindly obliged to Emily's request, commenting as she walked away on just how cute little Levi was.

"I can't believe what time it is!" I yawned, seeing the clock on my phone read 5:47 pm.

"I know what you mean. The day just flew right by us. But it was a blast!"

"It really was. We'll have to do this again soon, Emily."

"Agreed! So what are your plans for Thanksgiving. Hard to believe that's the day after tomorrow. I have to go home and bake like crazy for the next forty - eight hours!"

"I was actually gonna ask you earlier about that. Billy had mentioned the other day that he thought it might be nice if we all gathered for the Holiday at Charlie's this year? I have to talk to him about it tonight, but I really don't think he'll mind. As long as he's out of the kitchen... it's all good." I laughed, seeing Emily's face light up at my offer.

"That would be great! Sam and I would love that! Charlie hasn't met Levi yet. That would give them a chance to get acquainted!"

I nodded to her in enthusiasm as the waitress returned with a warm bottle and our drinks. Emily was quick to feed Levi, who was beyond fussy by the time the waitress had returned.

I couldn't help but smile, seeing her hold him close and watching her eyes fill with the kind of motherly adoration that was truly a sight to behold by anyone.

"I really needed this day out, Bella." Emily soon sighed, her eyes genuine with her words.

"Me too. I think it did us both some good."

When Levi had finished his bottle, he fell back to sleep and Emily placed him back in his carrier, all swaddled in blue blankets as we ate our dinner and discussed the many food items still needed for Thanksgiving dinner.

"I should be more prepared..." I admitted.

"Hey... we've all had a lot on our plates lately. Why don't we make a quick run to the grocery store after we leave here and get what we need? I can start the cooking tonight."

"That sounds like a good idea... You know..." I paused, glancing over to Levi and remembering Jacob's offer to Sam. "We could watch him... over night tonight... so you could get the cooking done you wanted? We'll make a list and I can bake tomorrow night?"

"... Really? Tonight? I mean... would Jake be okay with that this soon... so last minute notice and all?"

I couldn't help but stifle a laugh at her needless worry. "Em... He'd be thrilled... like a kid at Christmas... Besides, he's the one who offered our babysitting services to Sam in the first place... Remember?"

Emily giggled herself at my reply, seeming to understand my valid point.

"True... well... I could certainly use the time tonight to get the baking done. Would be a heck of a lot easier, too." She sighed, glancing over to her sleeping baby boy. "Okay... If you're sure?"

"I'm positive." I replied, seeing her returning smile.

We soon paid for dinner and headed to the grocery store. The list in our heads, only seeming to get longer with each passing mile. One of us would laugh and suddenly remember some traditional dish of some sort we'd forgotten. It was pretty comical really.

By the time we began loading up our grocery cart, our mental lists had been abandoned for grabbing whatever we saw at the time. The cart was rounded before too long with every kind of Holiday feast meal fixing you could think of.

Emily and I paused on Aisle nine to do a quick head count of who would be attending. She dialed Sue and they all agreed to join us. I also called Charlie and he was reluctant at first about opening his house up for the Holiday, but once I told him who was attending and that Emily and I would be making a feast, he agreed to the gathering without any further hesitation.

I had just ended the call with him when a familiar voice rang clear from behind me. "Bella?"

I nearly dropped the four cans of cranberry sauce I had gathered in my arms. Emily paused herself when she heard the voice. Her light hearted smile vanishing and her face losing some of its color when her wide eyed gaze met mine.

I had to blink to believe what I was seeing when I slowly turned around. I forced myself to say something in return, nearly choking on the words before they left me.

"Hi... C-Carlisle..."

His golden hue gaze was reflective when it met mine, and his hand reached to place a cold touch on my shoulder. The feel of it, sending my mind down the unwanted road of memory lane. Visions of how painful Violete's cold iron grip had been in the woods that night, came rushing back to me, causing me to shrug away from his frozen touch.

I saw the hurt that immediately crossed Carlisle's face from my rejection and it made me regret my harshness.

"I'm sorry, Bella... I should have known-"

"W-What are you doing here?" I asked, in a hushed whisper, inching myself closer to Emily.

"I came back to speak with Jacob. Esme and I have something of grave importance he needs to know. I was on my way there... but I know what our presence does to them all... I know we are no longer welcome here."

"... But you came anyway..." I sighed, glancing over to a worried Emily.

"Yes... Yes we did."

"We? Just you and Esme?"

"... Yes. I only need a few moments of his time."

My head spun as I thought of how angry Jacob was with them all. "... Carlisle... things are different... I'm not sure he would even see you. But I can't speak for him."

Emily cleared her throat and took a step his way. "You can't just cross over into La'Push and not expect the consequences of that to be fatal for you." She boldly declared.

"I understand this... but what knowledge I have brought with me... He is going to want to hear... trust me." Carlisle replied, his golden eyes glancing my way on the last few words.

I felt the fear hit my system like a floods invasion of land. Covering me in a drowning current and leaving me riddled with anxiety.

Emily took notice of this and her hand found mine. Her words to him harsh now as she spoke with an anger I had never heard from her.

"Okay, so you're here now. Despite the warning that Jacob..._ the Alpha_... gave you all. Bella and I will not be responsible for the consequences you may face. You didn't heed his warning and that makes your arrogant. I sincerely hope the reason for your disrespectful and** ill thought out** intrusion here now... is well worth it to Jacob. If _not_ Carlisle... your demise will be no one's fault but_ your own_."

With that, she turned and pulled me gently along with her further down the aisle and away from him. I glanced back to see he was already gone and despite Emily's hand in mine, I began to shake. For I knew what his not so subtle words meant. Something had happened... Or something was surely_ about to_.

"Bella?" Emily whispered next to me. Her tone of concern evident in her voice. "Bella?"

"W-why are they here?" I breathed, still feeling numb. "I mean... they know their not even allowed on Quileute Land... or even in_ Forks_ for that matter... Jake is gonna-"

I paused mid sentence when my phone rang in my pocket. The sound now shrilling as I read the screen. Jacob was calling me. I nervously held up the phone to show Emily, who's eyes grew wide upon the realization.

"We need to hurry this up here and get home. Come on, lets finish up and check out."

We rushed down the aisles, going from one to the next and grabbing any remaining items we may have forgotten. We checked out as fast as we could and loaded everything into Emily's car. Little Levi was just beginning to fuss again when we neared La' Push.

"How am I gonna tell him-?" I asked in a whisper, as we pulled into her driveway.

"I don't know, Bella... He... Might...-"

"I know..." I sighed, seeing the front door to Sam's house fly open and Jacob emerge with a radiant grin on his face for me. I had barely got out of the car when he ran over and scooped me up in the kind of strong embrace that made my very soul warm from the feel of it. His lips capturing mine in a hungry kiss. I dropped the bag in my hands and heard Sam and Emily's laughter as I kissed him back.

"Okay, okay you two! Don't make me get the damn hose! I guarantee your ass the water's some cold now!" Sam jokingly threatened as he hugged Emily and helped her in the house with Baby Levi.

Jake placed me on my feet, his eyes meeting mine with sincerity.

"I missed you..." He breathed, his lips agonizingly close to mine.

"I miss you..." I replied, trying to erase the fear from our run in with Carlisle.

"Did you have a good time?" He asked, opening the trunk to retrieve some of the many shopping bags in there.

"Yea... Yes... we had a great time."

I tried to help carry some things in, but Sam and Jake insisted they could get it.

Once inside the warm house with Emily, I gathered myself the best I could. I needed to be able to talk to Jake without him blowing a head gasket. Which I had a damn good feeling would happen the moment I mentioned the name Cullen.

"Bella, you don't need to take Levi tonight. Don't worry about." Emily offered.

"No... I really would still like to. If that's okay? Have you asked Sam?"

"I was just about to..." She smiled, placing a reassuring and supportive hand on mine at the table. "Maybe you should tell him in the morning?"

"Maybe..." I sighed. "I don't want him to think I'm keeping anything from him..."

"I understand that. I just worry about the struggle he's been facing lately... with the inner beast. I wouldn't want him to make any rash choices out of the hatred he has for them. Like I told Carlisle at the store. This. Is. Not. On. You." she stated clearly. "He has made his choice and with that will come a consequence. What matters is you and Jacob... you two deserve some happiness."

I nodded and felt the hot tears sting my eyes as Jake and Sam came in with the last load of bags from the car.

"Holy shit you two..." Sam laughed. "Did you leave anything at the store?"

Emily laughed and I grinned along with her, my eyes meeting Jakes and his look swiftly changing. I sucked in a sharp breath and rapidly blinked away the emotion arising in my throat.

Emily noticed the change in Jacob right away and came to the rescue with a temporary distraction. "So... Bella kindly offered to watch Levi tonight with Jacob? At Billy's? I have a lot of baking to do for the Thanksgiving holiday. Would that be alright, Sam? I really haven't had the chance till now to check with you? I told Bella we'd have to ask you two first, of course. It is kinda last minute and all-"

"We'd love to." Jake interjected with a heart stopping smile.

"See..." I chuckled to Emily.

"No objections here from me!" Sam chuckled. "I trust no one more... and could truthfully use a full night's sleep... Been a while."

"Great... I'll go pack him a bag." Emily smiled to us as she headed to the nursery.

I got busy with putting away the many groceries and writing down a list of 'who cooks what', for us to follow later.

My mind kept lingering over the memory of Carlisle's face today and his words. I made sure I kept my wits about me though and was aware of Jacob's watchful gaze upon me when I finished putting away the last bag of food for Emily.

I could feel his penetrating stare still on me when I took Levi's baby bag from Emily. She gave me an abundant supply of bottles she had pre pumped and plenty of outfits for him if need be.

"Remember... if anything comes up, don't hesitate to call. I'll be right over."

"We won't. I promise... We'll have a great time. Won't we, Levi?" I asked, seeing her hand him off to Jacob, who's whole face lit up like that of a little boys would on Christmas morning. It was truly heart warming for me to see.

Sam placed little Levi's car seat in my truck and we were soon on the road to home. Jake drove about ten miles under the speed limit the entire way back to Billy's and I couldn't help but chuckle, seeing him be so articulate and cautious with his driving.

"What?" He chuckled, reaching for my hand.

"You're allowed to go the speed limit, you know?" I teased.

"Not tonight... We're carrying precious cargo!" He laughed.

"Agreed..." I sighed, seeing him check the rear view mirror for the tenth time. "What did you do today? Emily mentioned you had a pack meeting... or a council meeting soon?"

"We do... I uh... spent most of the day ... prepping for it." He sighed, his hand tightening in mine.

"Important?" I asked.

"They usually all are."

"Anything I can do to help?" I offered as we turned onto his road.

"No honey. But thanks for the offer. We're all set... pretty much."

"I didn't mean to spring this on you... watching Levi tonight... I just know how much Emily has to bake and figured we could watch him for the evening? He did so well today with us."

"I think it's great... gives us practice."

His seemingly simple reply had my head filling with Carlisle's words from the store. I gingerly pulled my hand out of his when we parked the truck. My heart feeling as if it weighed a tone with this. My selfish wish was for Carlisle to go back to wherever it was he came from and leave us be. Just leave us be...

We unloaded Little Levi and got him settled in before Jake retrieved the few bags of clothes Emily had talked me into purchasing with her today from my truck. His wandering eyes finding the red lingerie piece in the Victoria Secret bag and his suggestive eyebrow raise making me laugh out loud. He picked up the revealing piece of red silk and the lust that clouded his gaze was enough to make my laughter seize.

"...Later..." He sighed..."Definitely later..."

By the time we got settled in back at Jake's, it was almost eight in the evening and Billy had yet to return home from town.

I watched in adoration as Jake scooped up Little Levi in his strong hands. His heart warming smile, making a grin form on my own face.

His whole demeanor shifted when he held him. Picking him up and cradling him like he were made of blown glass. To watch it... to see him hold Levi... it was a sight that made me want to give him a son of his own all the more. It was a dream I wanted so bad that my eyes were beginning to now show my true feelings.

I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't even heard Billy when he came in and saw Jake with Levi.

"Well... what do we have here..." Billy crooned.

"We're watching him for the night..." Jake replied. The warmth in his voice, wrapping itself around me like a sweater on a bitter cold Winter's day.

"Really now... Well you're in good hands there, little one." Billy replied, reaching out and touching the hem of Levi's blanket. "Don't get much more precious than that, do they?"

"No... They don't." Jake replied in a whisper, placing a soft kiss on Levi's forehead.

I felt my heart nearly melt from the sight of it.

"How was your day, Bella? Get a chance to talk to your old man about Thanksgiving yet?" Billy asked, wheeling himself up next to me at the table.

"Yes... actually I did... He's okay with us gathering there. Emily and I have the food covered. We'll meet at Charlie's Thanksgiving morning to finish what cooking we don't get done before, and we figured we could all eat around one?"

"Sounds good to me, dear." Billy smiled. "Whose coming?"

"Well... as of right now... Sue, Seth, and Leah agreed to join us... And anyone else that wants to come is more than welcome." I replied.

"It's gonna be great. Having everyone under your dad's roof for Thanksgiving dinner this year." Jake added.

"Well where else would we all gather?" Billy chuckled. "Sue's place and our own is way too small."

"True..." Jake replied with a nod.

"Pretty great of you ladies to do all the cooking. I'll be sure to thank Emily when I see her on Thanksgiving."

"It's no big deal... I'm not a chef like Emily, but I like to think I can hold my own in the kitchen. Never really helped cook Thanksgiving dinner before. Never had a house to do it in, so... " I replied with a shy grin.

"You're a great cook, honey. You'll do fine." Jake replied, his warm gaze meeting mine from across the table.

"Well... one day when the two of you have your own house, Bella... you can host Thanksgiving there. Something certainly to look forward to." Billy sighed, patting me on the shoulder as he wheeled away from us.

I noticed him pause briefly and wince, before he got too far. Jake was on his feet and handing me Levi before I could even react.

"Dad... I'm making you an appointment with your Doctor after the Holiday."

"No, no..." Billy sighed. "No need to-"

"Dad..." Jake insisted, as he lifted him out of his chair and carried him to his room. "I'm making the appointment."

"Good night, Billy." I said.

"Night Dear. See you all in the morning. May not be getting too much sleep with Levi." He replied before Jake closed his bedroom door.

I glanced down to see Levi's tiny hand curl around my finger. The small gesture making me still completely and look into those innocent and ever curious eyes of his. He had a pretty good mix of the two of them... Sam's facial features winning out for the most part and his delicate and long fingers reminding me of Emily's, along with her breath taking smile. He was perfection... simply perfect.

The more I looked down into his sweet little face, the louder my thoughts became. Thoughts of the future I hoped to have with Jacob. Thoughts of the children I longed to one day give him.

I slowly moved us out into the living room, sitting down in the small rocking chair they had and rocking him for minutes on end. I was utterly captivated in the moment with him. Seeing his eyes grow heavy and feeling his small hand still firmly curled around my index finger.

I wasn't aware of how much time had passed until Jacobs voice came to fill the quiet living room.

"Bells..."

I glanced up to see him leaning against the far wall, just staring at us there. The look he wore was prominent and I instantly recognized it as longing. The kind that was so evident it was almost tangible.

"He's... perfect..." I sighed, feeling the dreaded emotion return to me and swallowing it down. "Just... perfect..."

He slowly walked over to us, crouching down next to the rocking chair as I stilled it's motion.

He was silent, but his eyes said a thousand things to me with just one look.

"What are you thinking?" I soon whispered to him.

"So many things..." He whispered back, his gaze transfixed on little Levi when he spoke.

"... Name one of them?" I softly asked.

He was silent with me for a while longer, before reaching up and tucking a stray lock of my hair behind my ear. His sincere reply securing itself around my heart when he spoke it to me.

"I'm thinking... that I've never seen something so... beautiful... So... perfect... as seeing you with him like this. Nothing compares to it... nothing."

I couldn't stop my mind from going there, as the vision of a baby boy who looked just like Jacob, came fresh to mind. My reply was honest and true to him.

"You're gonna be an amazing dad. You know that?"

"I'll try..."

"You will be. You don't have to_ try."_

_"Someday..." _ He sighed, affectionately running his warm fingertips across my forearm.

"Someday... soon..." I honestly replied, seeing his intense gaze come to meet mine the moment the words left my mouth.

I gingerly got to my feet, careful not to jostle Levi as I laid him in his basinet and turned back to face Jacob. His look almost unreadable as he watched me approach him.

"Soon?" He questioned.

"Jake... I know... we're still young and... I mean... you and I are just starting out really... but-"

We were interrupted by the sound of Jake's cell phone ringing in his pocket. He hit the silence button without even glancing down at it. His attention remaining solely on me as I nervously continued.

"... I know you have a lot of responsibilities with the pack and-"

His cell phone rang again and he cussed before taking it out of his pocket and glancing down again to silence it's offending ring.

He paused and his look changed from irritation to business like when he quickly answered it instead of hitting the ignore button. "I'm sorry honey, but I have to take this. I'll be right back okay?" He sighed, leaning in to kiss me once before taking the insistent call outside to address.

I paced nervously in the kitchen, thinking back to Carlisle's unexpected run in this afternoon with Emily, and peeking in the living room every few minutes to check on Levi. I was nearly wearing a hole in Billy's kitchen floor when Jake suddenly came in, tossing his phone on the table with a look of pure agitation on his face.

"Sorry ... that was... never mind." He sighed, taking me in his arms. "What were you saying... before..."

I swallowed hard and opened my mouth to reply when his damn phone rang again. This was obviously proving to be not the right time to talk about this.

"Damn it..." Jake spat. Grabbing his phone and shooting me an apologetic look when he answered it. "Paul... this better be worth the call, bro. Do you know what time it-"

Silence...

I felt his whole body tense like a tightly coiled spring as he slowly released me and stepped back. His tone dark when he spoke again.

"When..." He asked through clenched teeth, holding his cell phone in a death grip now. "How many..."

I could feel the nerves rush through me when he soon spoke again. His tone damn near lethal.

"_**Are you sure?"**_ He asked, stepping outside and swiftly closing the door behind him.

I had a sinking feeling wash over me... an inclination of just what Paul's untimely phone call was about. The sound of Jacob's angry and loud tone all but confirmed it for me.

"He must have a death wish..." Jake seethed over the phone, pacing back and forth in the front yard. "He damn well knows their forbidden here... Tell Collin and Brady I want them on the night patrol with Leah and Quil till dawn... (Long Pause)... Yea... Keep me posted."

I watched him end the call and continue to pace angrily. His eyes searching the tree line every few seconds and his hands coming to ball into tight fists at his sides. I retreated into the kitchen and nervously waited for him to come back inside.

Carlisle's words did seem genuine this afternoon and though they were all far from welcome here, apart of me wandered if he really was trying to warn us about something. Carlisle had always been pretty damn true to his word. He and Esme both had to know the immense and dangerous risk they posed to themselves by even crossing into these parts. Whatever he had for information to share with Jacob must be worth something to take such a damn risk in the first place.

Jake's voice was low and harshly whispered when he addressed me. His sudden appearance in he kitchen entry way, startling me some.

"... That was Paul calling to let me know they picked up on the trail of fresh leech just now. Says it strong and certainly familiar. You'll never guess who the hell it belongs to..."

I turned and met his heated gaze, seeing his hard demeanor now.

"It's Carlisle... and Esme..." I sighed.

"So you knew?"

"Emily and I were at the grocery store... He was there... He talked to me..."

"What did he say?" He asked me in a clipped tone.

"He says he needs to speak with you, Jacob. He was adamant that their sole intentions for coming at all were to talk with you... he made it well known that it would be of importance to you."

He shook his head, looking all the more irritated.

"His arrogance is astounding."

"For what it's worth... I really think he is telling the truth. I... Believe ... Him."

"You have no reason to."

"... Carlisle wouldn't risk his very existence... or Esme's... for nothing... for revenge. This is more than that, Jake. I can feel it. We need to hear him out."

A sudden soft cry from Levi had our conversation ceasing as Jake went to him, scooping him up and handing him to me.

"... He needs a bottle." I sighed, gesturing to the fridge.

After two long hours of rocking and trying just about anything, from singing and even countless games of peek -a-boo, little Levi was finally tired out enough to sleep through the remainder of the night. Jake and I however were wide awake and watchful over him.

Jake grabbed a blanket from off the back of the couch and draped it over us, his arm around me and my head resting against his chest.

"I'm sorry if you think I'm wrong for even considering listening to whatever it is Carlisle may have to say-" I whispered, listening to the steady sound of his beating heart.

"Don't be sorry... we disagree on this. He knew the best way to get to me was through you. Don't underestimate him, honey."

I nodded and nestled myself in closer to him, feeling the truth behind his warning settle over me.

"I won't."

"We can discuss it more tomorrow. Get some rest, honey. Got a busy couple of days ahead of us."

"Our first Thanksgiving together..." I smiled.

"One of many, Bells... One of many..." He whispered in reply.

The feel of Jake's fingers running through my hair, had my eyes growing heavy before too long. I was cocooned in his warmth and it made fighting off sleep next to impossible.

"I should stay awake in case Levi stirs again..." I yawned, feeling him place a kiss on the top of my head.

"I'll take care of him, honey. Go to sleep."

I was too exhausted to argue, and was fast asleep before another full minute passed, safe and wrapped up in the warm arms of the man I wanted to fall asleep with and wake up to for the rest of my life.


	54. Chapter 55

**CHAPTER FIFTY - FIVE**

**(BPOV)**

The suns bright rays streamed in through the living room window. Its light near blinding as it flooded the room. I slowly opened my eyes, feeling the chill of the morning seep in through the afghan placed over me. It was now morning and I was already missing the feel of Jake's strong arms around me. Waking up alone wasn't the way I wanted to start my day.

A soft cry from the kitchen had me rising from the couch in a panic... Levi! Holy shit... What time was it?

I stumbled through the living room in a mad rush to the kitchen as another cry from Levi filtered through the quiet house.

I rounded the corner, stopping in my tracks with what my eyes beheld. Turns out... Jacob wasn't out on patrol this morning. He was walking the floor with little Levi cradled to his chest. His whole expression lighting up with a genuine, heart melting grin on his handsome face. I leaned up against the wall, admiring the sight of him like this. My mind flooding with the desires of my heart. I want his children... only his children. I wanted to hear the sound of their laughter on Christmas mornings to come and see them go running into his awaiting arms after a hard days work.

Funny how the vision I had on the mountain with him years ago... The one that had shaken me and only seemed to confuse the hell out of me further back then... was now the very same vision that I longed to embrace... longed to experience with him.

"Hey you." Jake chuckled, his voice forcing me back to the present. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good... great actually... what time is it?" I asked, approaching them and offering him a good morning kiss.

"It's almost ten." He replied, placing Levi in my arms and pouring me a cup of coffee.

"That late already?" I sighed. "You should've woken me up sooner!"

"You need your sleep, honey."

"... But that left you on your own with Levi all this time..."

"We did fine. Nothing to worry about. Right little man?" He replied, setting my coffee down and pulling up the soft blanket that Levi was wrapped in.

"Has Emily called? I should pack his bag for her. She mentioned picking him up sometime this morning."

"She called thirty minutes ago, said she'd be on her way shortly. I gave him a bottle an hour ago and already packed his bag, honey."

I couldn't help but stare at him in amazement. "You ... did it all?"

He simply shrugged with a grin and checked his watch. "I do have to get jettin'. Council meeting is soon, honey. Got a lot to discuss."

"When will you be back? Before dinner?"

"Should be. I'll call you on the way home later." He replied, kissing me goodbye and glancing down to little Levi. "Was great having him for the night."

"It was... it's... certainly good practice."

Jacob paused and met my gaze. "Practice makes perfect, honey."

I smiled at him and saw him eagerly return the sentiment as he headed out for the meeting.

Emily showed up for Levi a few short minutes later and she thanked me a million times over for keeping him for the night. I informed her that it was never any trouble and that Jacob had done his fair share of the watching since early dawn this morning. Emily could only smile when she heard this.

"Well... I think this may have given someone baby fever?" She hedged with a smirk by the door.

"... maybe..." I admitted.

Emily's whole face lit up then. "Really?! For you... or him? Or both?" She gushed. Her enthusiasm making me laugh.

"I don't know... maybe a little of both... I think Jake has a lot on his plate right now though... would be kind of selfish for me to add this to it, don't you think?"

She shook her head in strong protest. "No... No way. He would be thrilled, Bella. I mean... you're what he's wanted for years... a life with you. And if you ask me, I'm a firm believer in there being no time like the present."

"I don't know, Em." I sighed, feeling the unease of Aro's threat loom over me as I pondered it all.

Emily placed a hand on my arm, seeing my uncertain gaze. "Bella... I know you're worried and you should be... you'd be foolish not to take this seriously, but Jacob would never want that fear to stop you from having what you want in life... with him... your dreams for yourself and for the two of you matter. They always will. You and Jacob have the kind of love that could handle whatever was thrown your way."

"I can't help but want that future with him... Seeing him with Levi ... It makes me desire that with him all the more."

"The two of you will be wonderful parents. Whenever you decide to start your family. Only you two know when the time is right, but you know I'm here if you need to talk?"

"I do... and I'm more than grateful." I replied, hugging her before she stepped out into the cold mid - morning air.

"We're still on for Thanksgiving tomorrow, right? Meet you at Charlie's bright and early with my apron on?" She laughed.

"Absolutely. I will be there." I replied.

She was soon pulling out of the yard and heading back home with baby Levi. The cold air wrapping around me and making me shiver when I hurriedly closed the front door. What she'd said now weighed heavily on my mind and as the day wore on, I found it impossible to stop thinking about it. Even cleaning wasn't enough of a distraction for me... nothing seemed to be.

Billy had left for town shortly after we had shared a small lunch together. He told me he would be back home later and asked me if I needed anything while he was out and about. I couldn't think of anything else I would need for tomorrow's feast and thanked him anyway before he left.

The empty house was proving to be maddening for me. I had done every chore there was to do to occupy my mind, but by the time dinner rolled around, I was out of things to clean and organize, leaving me forced to face the loudness of my incessant inner monologue.

I found myself stuck in deciding whether or not to seriously ask Jacob how he felt about kids right now. Maybe he wouldn't want to start a family just yet... for obvious reasons I was well aware of. I knew the correct line of order for things to traditionally happen, and this would surely be doing it all ass backwards. Kids before a house... before marriage...

I shook my head and decided that maybe taking a drive would help me clear my mind. I had my jacket in hand and my keys nearly in grasp on the table when Jacob himself came barging in. His angry slamming of the front door rattling the house and startling me. I jumped and heard the profuse swearing that came from him as he headed toward me.

"Fuck! Who the fuck do they think they are?! ... So fucking stupid... stubborn... won't listen to a damn thing I say ... " He muttered. Stopping when he reached me. His anger making his body tense and shake with the remaining tremors that rocked through it.

"What happened?" I asked, feeling him wrap me up in a needed embrace. His hold on me tight, almost desperate.

"Council thinks they know best... as always... It's the same old Bullshit they tried to pull before with Sam when he was Alpha. They have been set in their ways for years and years. Never listen to anyone who may know better."

I felt his tremors slowly subside in my embrace, his breathing less labored now.

"You need to be heard. They have to respect you, don't they?" I asked.

"They should... but seniority rules here, Bells. Even at their own growing ignorance, they never see fucking reason."

I pulled back from our embrace, seeing his frustration plainly shown with this. "Are you discussing Aro?"

"Yes... All of them." He sighed. "I want the elders involved. We need them. Every one of them. The council disagree they are needed at all. Sam and I tried for hours to explain why... to get them to see some sort of reason. Nothing worked. They dismissed it and settled for discussing it again at a later date. It's BULLSHIT!"

He turned from me, releasing me as his body came alive with the quaking tremors his heated anger provoked.

"How am I supposed to keep order around here... have a plan in place... **if the fucking council won't even listen**!?" He yelled, pacing back and forth. "Don't they fucking understand** how serious this is**? Even Sam warned them. Yelling his point across and almost getting thrown out of the meeting altogether for it."

I saw him grow all the more angry as he continued to vent. "If they come here and we're not ready... They'll slaughter half this Reservation! You'd think that sobering fact alone would be more than enough for them to see my point... We **NEED** the help of the Elders. We need their knowledge and their experience for this kind of fight. Without it... **WE'RE FUCKING HALF BLIND AND OUTNUMBERED**." He yelled, his tremors growing all the more powerful as his fist flew into the wall. The force of the hit easily smashing clean through the old sheetrock. An audible gasp left me as he ripped his hand back, the blood running down his arm in a rapid rush of red from his split open knuckles.

"Fuck." He sighed, seeing the large hole he had just made.

I dropped my jacket and grabbed a clean kitchen towel from the stove, quickly taking his hand in mine and seeing the blood soak the towel in a matter of seconds.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's okay. We'll fix the wall for your dad. But it's a damn good thing you heal as fast as you do, or we'd be headed to the E.R. right about now."

His reply was low and his tone defeated when he spoke it. "I'm_ failing_ at this..."

I stopped tending to his hand and met his gaze. Seeing that he truly believed this. "Jacob... that's_ not_ true. You're an amazing leader and your pack... they_ respect_ you and in time... The council will, too."

"That's the problem, we don't_ have time_. We need to be ready now."

"Don't doubt yourself as Alpha. Cause in case you forgot... you're a born leader. It's in your blood... part of who you are, Jacob. You're meant for this and no one could ever lead the pack the way you can. You deserve the council's respect."

I removed the towel, seeing the angry pink lined scars starting to form over the previous gashes on his hand, as I brushed my fingertips gently over his knuckles.

"We're not ready... if they came here..." His words were low and full of dread.

"We will be, Jacob... We will be." I moved myself closer to him, taking his face in my hands and seeing him reluctantly meet my gaze. "You have made me_ so happy_ and so proud... Don't ever think you're failing, Jacob. That couldn't be further from the truth. We'll keep trying... maybe if we approach them together? I mean... I wanna help you in any way I can."

"You do already, honey. In more ways than you know." He replied, his arms drawing me closer to him. His body still tight from the anger as his tremors began to leave him.

I let the silence sooth us both as his fingertips softly grazed down my bare arms, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. My skin reacting to his touch and my heart skipping a beat when his lips brushed my ear. Lingering there while his hands roamed up my back, placing one of them in my hair. The tension remaining strong in his body from the anger and his husky whisper sending desire rushing through my blood for him. "I've missed you..."

I stilled in his arms, feeling his hand gently pull my hair back, tilting my head to the side as his lips touched my neck. "It's been a while... too long..." He breathed. His warm breath caressing my skin, and making my desire for him pool in between my thighs with heady weight, leaving a heavy ache to settle there. The feel of his warm lips spreading moist open kisses down my neck had my breath hitching.

"Too long..." I soon replied in a breathy tone of my own. His lips met mine in a hungry kiss. His hands roaming over my body and cupping my ass, feeling his growing desire now prominent in the confines of his jeans. I wasted no time in stripping down naked, his help to rid me of any clothing, only fueling the hot desire now thrumming through my veins.

I was eager to remove his jeans... Eager to free him from any restraint that separated us. My hands worked fast to undo them and my eyes greedily drank in the sight of him... Naked and sculpted to perfection, seeing his dark eyes full of a tangible lust when they met mine once. I couldn't stop my heated gaze from wandering to his prominent arousal. I dropped to my knees and took the length of him in my mouth, tasting the salty serum that oozed from the tip. The texture smooth on my tongue like honey as I heard his throaty groan in response.

"Bells..."

I continued to worship him with my mouth, swirling the tip of my tongue over and over, eager to pull more groans from him. My hand stroked the length of him as I peaked up to see his head tilt back and his eyes closed. The sight of it making the heavy ache between my legs now throb with a vengeance. I watched him closely, seeing the look of carnal ecstasy he wore when his eyes opened. The dark lust now prominently showing behind hooded lids.

He took my hands in his and swiftly hauled me to my feet, my lips becoming claimed. His hungry kiss full of need as he picked me up and moved us to his bedroom. My body now being laid beneath his own and his hot mouth coming to explore my bare skin. Warm fingertips soon found my wet folds and his husky whisper lingered close to my ear. "Let me hear you, honey."

I was unable to stop the moans that left me as his fingers slid within me and his mouth worked down over my stomach and inner thighs. I spread my legs a little wider as an invitation for him to explore me further. His tongue began to caress my center, sending shivers racing wildly up my spine. My back arching as the erotic high of blissful pleasure flowed through, leaving me begging him for more and at his mercy.

Each flick of his tongue pushing me ever closer to the brink, and drawing moan after moan from my lips. I gripped the sheets, feeling the raging burn within me peak. My body soon surrendered to him as spasms of pleasure enveloped me, leaving me breathless.

He worked his way back up my body. His tongue circling my sensitive pert nipples. "You're so beautiful." He breathed against my parted lips. His tongue passionately exploring mine in a fevered kiss as his erection pressed firmly against me, making the ache within me rise to a new pounding throb.

I _needed_ him... All of him.

Strong hands bracketed my hips and I felt him position himself at my entrance, gently rubbing his erection along the wet length of me.

"Jacob... Please... " I begged him, the sound being pulled from my throat, high pitched and raw with need. In one long stroke, he entered me. The fullness making my whole body flood with pleasure. His prominent erection stretching me, deliciously filling me. His name left my mouth as he began to move, his thrusts slow and his eyes locking with mine.

"I love you, honey."

His tone was strained as his warm hand caressed my outer thigh, soon hitching my leg up, causing his thrusts to go deeper and hitting the spot that made me cry out his name. The feeling of his warm skin pressed to mine, and the fullness within me ...exquisite. A high no other drug could_ ever fulfill_.

His eyes were watchful of me as I threw my head back, my body responding to his every thrust. His pace picking up and my nails raking harshly down his back. I felt my climax soon hit me like a tidal wave, being fully submerged in it. His name falling from my lips over and over again... in groans of pleasure.

"Bella..." He moaned, slowing his pace, his strokes becoming slower and deliberate and soon stilling altogether as he switched his position. His body coming to rest now beside mine on the bed.

"Come here, honey." He breathed, his tone hoarse and his breathing labored as I turned on my side and felt him draw me closer. His chest now pressed firmly against my back and his hand lifting my leg slightly as he entered me from behind, moving slowly, easing himself further and further with each gentle thrust. My head fell back in divine carnal bliss, as he wrapped a warm arm around my torso and held me close. His hand spanning my stomach as he built a new rhythm within me.

I turned my head, and captured his lips, our kiss passionate and fevered as his pace pushed my body closer and closer to another powerful orgasm. His hand trailed down to my sex, his fingertips coming to circle the spot that had me breaking our kiss and crying out, unable to be silent as his pace grew feral and my body heated to his. The circular motion of his fingertips now growing to match the rhythm of his long, measured strokes.

Jake's groaned plea was the final push I needed. "Cum for me, Bells..."

I felt my release invade me just as Jake's whole body tensed with his own climax. My legs shook as all of me was consumed in him. Both of us marveling in the possession of each other.

With a powerful final thrust, he spilled himself within me. His hold on me tight and his lips seeking mine again. Our bodies were covered in a fine sheen of sweat as he stilled his movements and pressed his cheek to mine. My limbs felt heavy and uncoordinated... like jello.

My heart was beating like a jackhammer in my chest, feeling him gently remove himself from me. His breathing still ragged as I turned to face him. His arms gathering me to him in an instant and the pounding of his heart now matching my own.

I opened my mouth to say what had been on my mind now for days, but lost the nerve before the truth could escape me any further. I saw his gaze meet mine and I knew by the look he wore, that he could sense there was something I wanted to say. His warm hand hitched my leg over his hip, pulling me even closer to him with a contented sigh.

"What is it... " He whispered in question. "Tell me?"

I remembered my short conversation with Emily earlier and reflected back on her words... I knew they were true. I had to tell him where my heart was and the time was now or never. I mustered up the courage and pushed aside the nerves that tried to overwhelm me, blurting it out all in one breath.

"I want children with you, Jacob."

I felt his hand on my thigh still its caress as the words left me. His eyes searching mine intensely and his look growing to be one of disbelief.

I hurriedly explained myself.

"I know what I said before and I know the timing is probably all wrong... I'm sure you think it's crazy, right? To even ponder that right now...? Seeing you with Levi... made me really think, Jacob. Seeing you like you were with him..."

His eyes were still desperately searching mine as I continued to ramble on nervously.

"I couldn't help but think... how wonderful it would be for us to have a child of our own. I know there's still a threat... a huge one... with Aro... I know how real that is and it still scares the hell out of me..."

"I will always protect you..." He replied, his hand tracing patterns across my hip. "... Are you... saying you've changed your mind? I mean... You said it before but that was different? You want to have kids... to try?"

I felt the nerves settle in my stomach from his question. Were we ready for that at this point in our lives? Really ready?

Jake saw the hesitation from me and kissed me softly on the lips. His gaze understanding when it met mine.

"Bells... there's no rush, honey. If you're unsure... it's okay. We'll talk about it... take things a day at a time?"

I nodded and placed my hand over his heart, feeling the rapid beating now calmer within his firm chest.

"I'm not unsure... I love you... I just wanted you to know where my heart was with this."

"I always want you to tell me where your heart is with something... with anything. When the time is right and were in a better place financially... we can go there... Discuss it more... and try... if that's what you still want."

"Okay... so... till then?" I smiled, seeing his own returning grin.

"Till then, honey... Till then."

His reply was simple and earnest and it was enough ... for now.

We would take it one day at a time.


	55. Chapter 56

**A/N: So, I decided to spoil you guys with another chapter update! Happy reading and thank you to everyone for your continued support and following of this story! :-)**

**CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX**

**(JPOV)**

Today was the day I would take Bella to our new home. It was Thanksgiving and by the time mid - morning had rolled around, everyone was busy cooking or setting up something. Bella had been up since damn dawn and was on her fourth cup of coffee.

Emily and Sam had met us with baby Levi here at Charlie's around seven this morning. Emily had shown up carrying all her arms could hold... goodies of every kind she had already prepped and Bella had baked whatever Emily hadn't covered last night. She was up until almost one in the morning and despite my protest to her being up so late, nearly dead on her feet, she cooked everything on the list she and Emily had put together days ago. I had snuck a few cookies without her noticing when they were pulled fresh from the oven and though I got away with it the first time, when I tried again to snatch a few more, she slapped my hand away with a shake of her wooden spoon at me in disapproval.

"Jacob Ephraim!" She laughed, giving me a stern look. I could only laugh and kiss her, seeing the sight of her covered in cookie dough and her hair piled high up on her head in a messy ponytail. Truth was... she was the prettiest damn thing I'd ever seen.

Paul had called a few times to check in with me from patrol and to ask where the spare key was to the house so he could unload the last few pieces of furniture with the pack. It was after eleven when he called and it hadn't gone un- noticed by Bella. Her peaked interest in the call had me nervous that she may be onto this whole thing after all.

"Why is he calling so late? Everything okay?" She asked, scooping heaping spoonfuls of cookie dough onto the greased cookie sheet.

"Yea... everything's fine. He was just checking in." I lied, turning away from her in fear that she would look at me and know I was lying. I could never keep anything from her observant gaze.

"Really... That... doesn't sound like Paul. Isn't he usually dead on his feet after patrol? I thought he'd be in bed? He's a crank ass without his sleep." She chuckled, loading another batch of cookies to bake in the hot oven.

"Guess he was... being thorough." I stammered, running a hand through my hair with pent up energy. She was becoming too curious.

"You know... I meant to ask you this the other day but with everything going on, I completely forgot... Is Paul ... dating someone?"

I shook my head and turned to meet her ever curious eyes. "No... Not that I'm aware of... why?"

"Well... I ran into his mom the other day at the gas station and she was mentioning that Paul was so exhausted lately... something about all the extra shifts you had him running... at all hours of the night. I just thought maybe he was out with someone and didn't want his mom to know?"

The pack had been sneaking loads of this and that into the new house at all hours of the night over the last few days in order to keep it completely hidden from Bella. Her many questions were beginning to put me on edge. Fuck...

"I don't know..." I shrugged. "Maybe he's gettin' some from one of the locals...?"

Bella erupted into a fit of laughter at my reply. Her hand nearly dropping the wooden spoon.

"Gettin' some?" She mused. "Is that what you say when all you guys are comparing sex notes!"

I couldn't help but laugh myself at her insane remark.

"What... I don't-"

"Oh please, Jake." She laughed, mixing up another batch of cookie dough. "Don't play dumb, baby. I know how you all talk it up... compare ..."

I shrugged off her remark and met her accusatory glance. "I do no such thing!" I sighed sarcastically. "You're mistaken, honey."

Her responding laughter was beautiful to hear. Her blush even prettier to behold when I wrapped my arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her neck.

"You're lying..." She sighed with a knowing grin.

"Nope... you're wrong..."

"I know better..."

"Do you?" I countered, my hands beginning to wander over her body.

"I believe I do." She stated confidently.

"What do you think I share with them?"

"Everything."

"Well... there are times my mind has slipped into thoughts of your naked body beneath mine... How good you feel... and taste... "

I felt her still in my arms. Her constant stirring coming to a stop when she glanced over her shoulder.

"Really..." She blushed.

"Yes. I try not to... can't help it sometimes."

"So... do I measure up to the wolf pack standards you all have for your women?" She joked.

"... no comparison, honey... You take the cake... hands down." I whispered in her ear as my hand slipped under her sweater, caressing her creamy smooth skin.

"Jacob... I'm trying to cook here?"

I chuckled and soon released her so she could finish her baking.

"Are you coming to bed with me?"

"When I'm done." She sighed. "If you're tired, you can head in. You don't have to wait."

"I'll wait... can't sleep without you anyway, honey." I admitted, throwing myself down on the sofa and flipping through the endless channels in search for something half decent to watch.

When 12:20 am approached, I heard my father stir in his bedroom and I muted the TV, listening closely to the rattling sounds of his movements in there. The last few weeks, I'd noticed a difference in him and it had me concerned. I had called and made him a doctors appointment for next week without his knowledge. I planned to tell him in the morning but when I heard a loud crash come from his room, I jumped to my feet and was in his bedroom faster than Bella could even round the corner. He had tried to get out of bed himself and had upset the entire tray on his night stand in the process. Sending his medication scattering to the floor and the glass of water spilling everywhere. Shards of glass were now strewn across the floor and I caught Bella by the waist as she tried to pass me in the doorway to help him.

"Bells... wait..." I cautioned. "There's glass everywhere. Don't step."

She rushed to get a broom as I met my father's embarrassed gaze. His look frustrated when he spoke. "Would you just look at this mess! All to reach the damn TV remote." He huffed.

"Are you alright?" I asked, walking out around the glass and helping him back into bed.

"I'm fine. Stupid thing!" He yelled.

"Why didn't you ask me to-"

"I shouldn't have to ask you for everything! You've taken care of me long enough! Damn it!"

His tone was harsh and his look even angrier when it met mine.

"Dad-" I countered.

"No!" He yelled. "It shouldn't be your job anymore, Jake."

Bella soon began sweeping up the broken glass and replaced the water with another fresh cup for him. Her look of concern meeting mine upon hearing his harsh words.

When the glass was cleaned up, Bella left us alone to speak. Her soft spoken words to me a comfort before she left the room.

"I'll be right out here... if he needs anything else. Anything I can do?"

I shook my head and felt her kiss me on the cheek as she turned to leave, closing his bedroom door as I met his look of shame.

"Dad, it's no big deal. You hated that glass anyway." I sighed, trying to lighten his mood.

"Not the point."

"What is the point then? What's going on with you?" I asked.

He was silent for many seconds before replying. His adversion of my gaze, telling me he was struggling with whatever he wanted to say.

"Dad..." I hedged forward, seeing him shake his head in frustration when he soon replied.

"You're moving out and I hate that you're burdened with taking care of me still."

His words had my throat tight because I hated to hear that he felt that way.

I sat down with him on the edge of his bed, switching off the Television noise in the background. "Taking care of you isn't a burden for me. You gave up everything... sacrificed your whole life for us, dad."

"Doesn't mean I want you having to be troubled with my care, Jacob. You'll have your own family to look after soon."

"Dad... you're my family."

He reached over and pulled out the top drawer to his night stand, retrieving some papers that were folded. He opened them and soon handed them off to me. My eyes scanned the top of the page, seeing the lettering and I immediately wanted to shred them.

"It's a real nice facility, Jacob. I'm getting older now and I would rather be in there, knowing you don't need to be burdened with my care."

_"No way._ I'm not putting_ you in a home_, dad." I fiercely protested, giving him back the papers.

"Jacob... it would be covered financially by some money I have set aside and my insurance would pay the rest."

"I'm not worried about the damn payment. I don't want you in there, dad. No way."

"Would you just listen-"

"NO... "

He went silent and handed the papers back to me. I snatched them from him, cussing under my breath as I read the heading... "Let Us Make You Part Of Our Family."

He already had a family...

"You know it's better-" He began.

"It's not better." I sighed. "I _don't_ want you to do this."

"It's something we need to think about."

"Dad..."

"Please don't fight me on this, son."

His tone had me swallowing my own reply and my throat growing tighter. I said goodnight to him, making sure he was comfortable before sitting down in the living room with the papers still clutched in my shaking hands. I stared at them, feeling my chest tighten while reading it over further. He couldn't really want this... could he? I flipped through them, seeing that he'd filled out some of the insurance information and basic medical needs info already.

He was really considering this...

I couldn't stand to read any more of it and tossed them on the coffee table just as Bella sat down next to me. Her hand reaching for mine and her mere touch a great comfort to me.

"Jake..."

"He ... wants me to put him... in a home, Bella..."

She went silent then, reaching out and taking the papers left on the coffee table. Her own eyes growing wide upon reading them.

"What... No..." She breathed.

"He's already filled some of them out." I sighed.

"Is this what he really wants?" She asked, her tone shaky with emotion.

"He says it is..."

"But..."

"I know..."

I got to my feet when I heard the oven timer go off and helped her pull the last batch of cookies from the oven. Bella looked over the forms as she waited for them to cool. Her head shaking every now and then when she encountered another page. She soon set them down and approached me.

"Jacob... Can't we talk him out of this?"

"I don't know, honey."

"... I want him here... with us..." She sighed.

"Me too, honey."

"Can I talk to him. Try and change his mind?"

"I don't know that it will work." I admitted, turning and glancing out into the night from the kitchen window

"It's worth a try."

I shook my head and felt the lump in my throat return at the mere sobering thought of him being in there... alone. It wasn't what I wanted for him. Not at all.

"Jacob..." Bells whispered from behind me. Her arms now around me and her lips on my shoulder. "We'll talk to him."

"I know taking care of him is a lot... And I don't want you thinking it's your job just because we're together-"

She moved herself in front of me suddenly. Her sincere look of loving concern, silencing me.

"He's your father, Jacob. Taking care of him is my responsibility too and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't ever want you to think that it's a burden to me. I love Billy and we'll talk to him... have him think things over more... try to convince him not to go. Maybe talking to your sisters will help too?"

"I don't know..."

She kissed me softly on the lips and pressed her forehead to mine. I swallowed hard, trying to remove the lump still settled in my throat.

"I'll talk with him tomorrow... after Thanksgiving dinner."

Her embrace and soft spoken caring words had been what I'd needed most and only reminded me of how damn much I loved her.

When I brought Billy over to Charlie's this morning, his spirits seemed to be high and his mood good. He chatted along with Sue and Charlie and complimented Bella and Emily on their cooking. I was watchful of him, trying to think of a way to make him not go through with this.

He had given me and my sisters all he had for years and years. The one thing I wanted was for him to always have the security in knowing he was welcomed into our own house should there come a day when he could no longer reside at his own home on the res. I didn't want him spending the last years of his life, however many that may be, cooped up in some small elderly facility. I wanted him to know he would always be taken care of and that it was never a burden for me. I knew it would surely break my mothers heart if she knew he had chosen that, instead of being surrounded by his friends and family. Those who cared for him most.

I saw Bella offer him some warm cider and kiss him on the cheek before she met my watchful gaze and mouthed the words... "I love you." To me from across the room.

Despite all that was going on with the council and my father... one thing was for sure... I was a blessed man on this Thanksgiving Holiday and I was more than eager to see Bella's face light up when I would soon show her our new home.


	56. Chapter 57

**A/N: Hi Everyone! Time (yet again) for another chapter update. I know all of you are anxiously awaiting for the big reveal for Bella. Fear not... it is coming _very soon_! Thank you to all those who have stuck with me and this story! You all are truly amazing! Happy Reading! :-)**

**CHAPTER FIFTY - SEVEN**

"Happiness is a journey ... Not a destination."

-Ben Sweetland-

**(BPOV)**

By the time I had downed my fourth cup of coffee, everything was being placed on the Thanksgiving table. Everyone had come piling in around noon time with their own offerings in hand for the feast. Emily had cooked a ton that she had brought with her and I'd made additional dishes on top of that. To say there was more than enough food was a vast understatement at best. I'm sure we could have fed half the town if we needed to. I was just happy that no fire had been set and no recipe tragedy had yet occurred with all of us busying ourselves in Charlie's small kitchen. When Sue Clearwater showed up, we were honestly relieved to have her skilled help. Leah and Seth came trailing in right behind her, their arms just as full as their mothers with all sorts of baked goods Sue had made herself.

Despite the business of the day, my mind remained preoccupied with the conversation that had transpired last night between Billy and Jacob. My heart was breaking to think he wanted to live the rest of his days in a retirement home and I could see just how very much it truly bothered Jacob. I had already pondered the idea of calling his sisters and inquiring for their help with this. I was almost convinced that if_ we all_ talked to him, he would stop and rethink it before making his final decision.

Billy was one of the most_ giving_ and_ selfless_ people I knew and the mere thought of him alone in an_ isolated place_ like that, had me desperate to change his mind. There had to be a way to make him_ want to stay_ right where he was... there just had to be.

"Let me help you with that, dear." Sue offered when I opened the oven to check on the turkey and baste it once more.

"Thanks." I replied.

"Looks amazing!" Sue chimed.

"Everything is just about ready. How much longer before the turkey is done?" Emily asked, dishing out more cranberry sauce to serve.

"Maybe twenty minutes at the most." I sighed, checking the stove clock and seeing it was nearly one already. The day had truly flown by.

"Where's Jake?" Seth asked from behind us, my gaze glancing around the crowded living room and now noticing his sudden absence.

"I'm... not sure, Seth... He was just right here a few minutes ago."

"Sam's missing too. He handed Levi off the Leah and I haven't seen either of them since." Emily observed.

I helped Emily finish setting the table and noticed Billy's eyes watchful. His gaze full of an emotion I couldn't place as Charlie chatted with Seth about the recent losing streak of the Mariners.

I approached him, checking to see if he was alright.

"Do you need anything, Billy?" I asked, taking his empty cider cup from him with a smile.

"No dear. Just observing the tradition unfold and feeling thankful for all whose around us this year. Couldn't help but think of just how much Jake's mother would've loved to see something like this."

I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and saw his eyes grow misty with unshed emotion.

"I'm sure she would be proud of Jacob... of the man he is."

"Oh... She sure would be. No worries though... I carry enough pride in my heart for the_ both of us_." He smiled.

I nodded and glanced around to see the beautiful sight before me. Everyone talking and laughing and genuinely enjoying themselves. The laughter filling up the house was a beautiful sound and I couldn't help but feel myself soon overcome with emotion at the sight. How long had it been since there had been such a gathering at my dad's? Too long...

"Where did Jake and Sam run off to?" Billy asked.

"I was just gonna ask you the same thing..."

Billy shrugged and glanced around the room. "Odd ..."

"I know... If they don't get back soon, dinner will be getting cold." I sighed as I headed back into the kitchen to offer Emily and Sue more help.

When the turkey was done, Charlie helped place it on the table and dug out his trusted carving knife with a grin. "This looks great. You all have done a hell of a job on dinner."

"Thanks!" Emily grinned. "It was a _team effort_ and I for one, think we did great! We really pulled it off!"

Her hand took mine and she soon pulled me into a hug. I returned her embrace and saw the front door swing open. Jake and Sam came trudging through with matching wide mischievous grins plastered on their faces.

I released Emily and Saw Jake's grin only grow wider when he approached me, seeing all the goodies now on the table for display.

"Wow... This is some feast for Thanksgiving!" He chuckled, drawing me closer to him. "How you holdin' up there chef Swan?"

I couldn't help but laugh as he kissed me on the cheek and thanked Both Emily and Sue for their help.

Everyone began to take their places at the table just as a knock came to the front door. Charlie shot me and Jake a questioning gaze and I simply shrugged in reply.

"Someone's running late?" I asked.

"... Maybe..."

The knowing grin on Jake's face told me he knew who was on the other side of the door. "Why don't you answer it and find out?"

"... what... are you up to?" I asked.

He took my hand and led me toward the door. His whispered words making my heart warm. "I just want today... this holiday... to be perfect for you..."

"Perfect? It_ already_ is..." I replied, kissing him softly on the lips.

"Well..._ more perfect_." He chuckled, his hand lingering on the door handle.

He soon released me and my eyes immediately welled with tears of joy when he opened the front door and my mother's sweet voice surrounded us.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetheart!" Renee beamed with Phil right behind her. Their grins wide and equally welcoming.

She let her luggage fall and hugged me as Jake offered to help Phil inside with their many bags.

"Wh... Wh- What are you doing here? I mean, how did you-?" I stammered, eagerly returning her embrace and seeing Jake's warm grin.

"... Jacob called Phil and I a week ago. Told us all about the big dinner here at your father's and we all thought it would be a great surprise to fly here for the holiday! I've missed you!"

I looked over at Jacob in utter disbelief as Phil wrapped me up in a welcoming embrace. "We sure have. The house isn't the same without you, Bella."

"You... You put this in motion?" I asked, seeing Jake nod and hug Renee.

"He's a _real_ keeper, Bella... A real keeper." Renee sighed with a contented smile.

"Well would you look at what the cold air brought in!" Charlie laughed, soon joining us by the front door. "I was beginning to wonder if you'd make it in time to see me carve up the bird. How was the trip?"

"It wasn't too bad." Renee replied, hugging Charlie as he shook Phil's offered hand.

I stared at them all in disbelief. "All... All of you knew about this?"

"Yep... " Charlie admitted.

"Unbelievable." I sighed in shock.

"Well... it sure as hell wasn't easy keeping it from you." I heard Billy chime in. My mothers entire face lit up when she saw him and she hurriedly leaned down to embrace him.

"Oh Billy! It's so good to see you!" Renee gushed.

"You too, Dear. You look good!" Billy replied.

I felt Jake's arms wrap around my waist as I stood there still completely shocked by their truly unexpected arrival.

"Happy Thanksgiving, honey." He sighed, his lips close to my ear.

I turned in his arms to meet his warm and genuine gaze. "I can't believe you did this... I couldn't be happier."

"Good..." He replied. "I want you happy. Seeing you smile like that... means the world to me."

I kissed him and heard my mother's squeal of joy, making me pull away and blush from embarrassment.

"Awe! I'm so happy for the two of you... together... it's about time!" Renee sighed.

"I'd say!" Billy added with a nod.

"Okay, okay. Let's get to the table and settle in for the meal. The turkey's calling my name over there." Charlie laughed, his hand now patting his stomach.

We all gathered around the table as Jake helped Sam set up the extra one Emily had offered for use. When everyone was comfortably settled and content next to their loved ones, my father cleared his throat and raised his freshly opened beer.

"I uh... have to say that when Bella had mentioned this whole gathering here idea to me... I wasn't completely sold on it, but seeing everyone here and hearing the laughter... I uh... couldn't be happier to have all of you under my roof on this Thanksgiving holiday. Been way too long since we've had such a large gathering here and after today, I think it's a new tradition we should start. So... Thank you to everyone who came and who offered their cooking skills... their extra tables and most of all... their time to making all this happen. I'm truly thankful for that and for all of you."

Everyone raised their drink of choice and offered up a "Cheers to that." Sentiment before Charlie began carving up the hot turkey and serving our many hungry guests.

I felt Jake's hand soon take mine under the table, his eyes revealing to me just how thankful he was in one look. I had shared many Thanksgiving holidays with those I loved and cared for, but this one ... this one would surely be memorable for me. For I had the man I wanted to grow old with by my side and for the first Holiday in a long time, I felt truly whole. Like the piece of me that had been missing, was put back where it belonged.

The chatter at the table during dinner was both meaningful and funny. Paul had brought the comedic side of him as he always did to functions and gatherings like these and my mother couldn't stop gushing over how cute baby Levi was. Emily had even been so kind as to let her hold him during the meal. I saw my moms gaze meet mine and I momentarily paused with my forkful of food.

"You look happy, sweetheart." She sighed, reaching her free hand up to caress my cheek. "Real Happy."

"I am..." I replied. Her eyes beginning to well up from my words.

"You deserve that. I couldn't be happier for you." She happily sighed, reaching passed my lap and touching Jake's arm. "Thank you... for inviting us here. Means a lot to share the Holiday with all of you."

"You're more than welcome. I knew how much it would mean to Bella to have you guys join us. The more the merrier!" Jake replied with a genuine smile to her.

Charlie and Phil were talking sports with Billy and the rest of us chatted about everything from the approaching Winter to my plans about furthering nursing school. Each of us were fully engrossed in the conversations when a sudden wail from Levi effectively halted the majority of the conversation around the table. Emily had yet to finish her meal and Sam had just rounded another plate.

"Uh oh..." Renee sighed. "I think someone here is hungry."

"Could very well be." Emily replied, getting up to heat him a bottle. Jake kissed me on the cheek and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before taking Levi from Renee and heading with him into the kitchen.

"I'll feed him, Em. You haven't really touched much of your plate yet." He kindly offered.

My mothers eyes seemed glued to him as he held little Levi and I knew what would come next. My mother had always been a hopeless romantic. Some considered it her down fall, but I found it_ refreshing_.

"Bella..." Renee soon crooned. "He is... just... wonderful."

I laughed at first, pretending to be unsure of who she was referring to.

"You mean Jacob or little Levi?" I joked.

"Very funny." Renee scoffed. "You know_ who_ I'm talking about."

"Yes... I do..." I replied, watching him carry Levi with bottle in hand toward the living room where he sat to feed him.

"I don't think I've ever seen you_ this_ happy, sweetheart. You have the look of love all over your face."

"Is there such a thing?" I asked, seeing my mothers frantic nod in reply.

"Oh yes. There certainly is and you wear it well!"

"I am truly happy, mom. Jake is... the best thing that's ever happened to me."

The remainder of the meal was full of jokes from the pack and my father and mother reminiscing about things that took place years ago. I watched it all unfold while finishing my plate and couldn't help but smile at some of their crazier younger days and the many stories they shared. Billy had never laughed so hard and I truly loved to see them all so damn happy. It was a wonderful time and the overall good mood had become infectious.

The clean up process was a hell of a lot more tedious than the cooking had been. That was one thing I never liked about slaving over the stove all damn day. All the hours you would dedicate to cooking such a meal, only for it to be gone in under twenty minutes and for there to be nothing left but a heaping mound of dishes staring at you in the sink. Cooking meals like these made me have a whole new admiration for those who had more than a family of two or three to cook for each day and night. For it was truly no easy task.

To my surprise, Renee and Charlie both offered to help with the dishes and clean up and we were done in under an hour. The good banter and joking still prominently displayed throughout the rest of the day. Paul had my mother in stitches by the end of the afternoon. Some of his wild stories had proven to be the comedic event of the hour. Even Charlie cracked a laugh at some of them.

"Paul... it's no wonder you have trouble dating!" My mother laughed.

"Hey now..." Paul scoffed. "I just haven't found the right gal yet, but she's out there."

"I'm sure she is." My mother replied, placing a soothing hand on his arm.

I soon plopped myself down in between Paul and Jacob, looping an arm through Paul's with a grin. "He just needs someone as adventurous as he is." I offered in Paul's defense.

"You could say that!" Jake chuckled with a shake of his head and another swig of his half empty beer.

"So where are you and Phil staying?" Billy soon asked.

"... Here with me." Charlie piped up, raising his glass in acknowledgment to Phil.

"Oh... no, Charlie. We couldn't put you out like that-" Renee protested.

"Nonsense!" Charlie replied. "No trouble at all. My house is always open to you. Bella... you wouldn't mind if they bunked in your room, right?"

"No... Not at all." I replied, seeing my mothers wide grin at his kind offer.

"Great... it's settled." Charlie sighed in relief.

I noticed Jake glance down to his watch for the tenth time in under an hour and found it odd he would be keeping such a close eye on the time.

"Hey..." I whispered to him. "Are you running patrol later... or?"

"No... why?" He asked, eyes searching my own.

"Well... that's like the tenth time you've checked your watch? Something you're late for? Somewhere you need to be?"

He shook his head, reaching his hand up to touch my chin. His tone sincere with his reply. "No honey ... I'm_ exactly_ where I_ need_ to be."

As I sat there among everyone else, sipping on a warm cup of apple cider and feeling the love surround me... I realized just how truly thankful I was for each and every one of those around me. For each of them meant something to me. Some of them had risked their very own life for me.

Each of them were my family, blood or not... Family is what they were. Family is what they would forever be to me. I couldn't imagine being any happier than what I was at this very moment with them. My smile and laughter was genuine and my heart truly full on this Thanksgiving. I could want for nothing more.


	57. Chapter 58

** CHAPTER FIFTY - EIGHT**

**(BPOV)**

I could feel my energy draining as the night wore on. The coversations in the house still in full swing and my heart now warm from the sound. Emily and Sam had been the first to make a move to head out since Levi had began fussing. It was way past his bedtime and I could see that Emily was just as dead on her feet as I was.

Sam thanked both Charlie and I for having everyone over and I told him how much we had genuinely enjoyed ourselves. We soon hugged and were saying goodbye when Jacobs whole body suddenly went rigid next to mine. His hand swiftly releasing my own and his gaze abruptly meeting Sam's.

The look they shared sent ice hastily trickling down through my veins. The entire mood now rapidly changing.

"Fuck... not _fucking _now." Sam cussed, as Seth and Leah came to our side.

"It's..." Leah began.

"Cullen-" Jacob snapped.

The conversation in the other room began to slowly fade out and my heart raced as I glanced back to see my mother and Phil now staring at us in confusion.

I scrambled to think of something to say or do to explain this to my mother. What the hell could I say?

"Stay inside, Bells."

I felt Jake soon move me back toward Emily and little Levi as he and Sam went barging out the front door with Leah, Seth and a truly pissed off Paul, now hot on their heels.

This was not the time for this... Damn it, Carlisle...

Emily handed me a crying Levi and gave me a nod of assurance before she created a diversion. "Whose up for some poker? Maybe a little more pumpkin pie? Charlie... what do you say? Feeling lucky?" She asked with a grin to him.

"Haha! Are you kidding me!" Charlie scoffed like an old pro. "I don't think Sam will be too keen on me kicking his wife's ass? I've played this game for years, isn't that right, Billy?"

"Sure is old friend. Careful Emily!" Billy chuckled, his eyes meeting mine when Charlie left the room in search for some cards. While Emily's diversion was proving to be a significant enough distraction, it sure in hell didn't fool Billy. Not one damn little bit.

I paced the floor with Levi, waiting with bated Breath for them to come back, while Emily gathered everyone around the table for extra dessert, coffee, and a highly rowdy game of poker. I had to hand it to her, she sure could play with the best of them. She seemed to hold her own and did it all with a wide and convincing grin in place, no less.

"I'm starting to think you suckered me into this... hustled me a bit?" Charlie hinted when her mound of poker chips grew higher with each passing round.

"What?" Emily sighed, feigning ignorance. "Me? You really think little old me would fool you, Charlie? I'm offended."

The table erupted into fits of laughter and I couldn't help but grin at her brilliant plan and wonderful acting skills.

"Alright, Alright." Charlie sighed. "I want the chance to win some of my money back there, Darlin'... Another game?" Charlie offered.

"Sure... I hope your pockets aren't empty though by the time this one's over." Emily laughed, her mood helping to calm my own nerves.

Levi fell asleep in my arms and I saw Emily gesture for me to lay him down in his carrier. I made sure he was settled and placed him close by her.

"Hey... why don't you pull up a seat and play this round with us?" Charlie offered to me. "I'm sure your mother could use the help!"

"Hey now!" Renee laughed in reply. "I think I'm holding my own pretty damn well if I do say so myself!"

Phil chuckled and offered me a seat next to mom, my eyes going to the door and my worry_ not going_ unnoticed by the observant watch of my father.

"Where's Jake and Sam? Hell, their all great poker players I've heard. Billy taught Jake when he was just a boy..."

"I sure did!" Billy sighed with a grin to us.

"Oh, I sent Sam back home to get another batch of cookies I'd left... just in case anyone has a real bad sweet tooth later..." Emily offered up in explanation.

"Well you won't hear me protesting that! I might be getting older, but I know good cookin' when I taste it!" Charlie sighed, tossing back his beer and placing the empty can down firmly on the table.

"Thanks Charlie." Emily replied..."But I'm afraid my cooking can't help you now... Straight Flush."

Charlie shook his head and cursed. "Unbelievable!"

"Oh come on, Charlie. Be a good sport now!" Renee jokingly scolded.

"I am... But holy hell... she's beating the pants off us!"

A full two hours went by and by that time, I had all I could not to pace the floors with worry. Where the hell were they? What was taking so long?

Emily had won the poker game hands down and was gracious enough not to keep the money she'd won. She returned it all with a smile and offered up more pie while I noticed her own gaze straying to the door every few minutes.

When everyone was too busy chowing down on any remaining pumpkin pie, she met me in the living room with a look of real concern.

"Bella... They've been gone too long. Sam warned me about something like this. He and Jacob have been fighting like hell lately to get the council to see reason about needing the elders aid. I have to go alert them all... _now_. Something's not right."

"I'll stay with Levi." I offered, feeling myself begin to fall apart at the seams.

Emily pulled me into a secure hug and her whispered words offered me the only comfort I clung to.

"Keep it together. You have others watching... I will call you the moment I know anything, okay? Keep your phone nearby and remember that Jacob and the pack have prepared for something like this. It will be okay."

I nodded and met her sincere gaze when she released me from the embrace. "Tell the others I went back home to get some more treats... anything to keep the mood light okay?"

I nodded again and watched her go. My head whirling with the unthinkable.

Carlisle had seemed so damn_ genuine_ when we'd run into him. Could this_ have all been a trap_?

My hands shook as I turned back to head into the kitchen and nearly collided with my father. I glanced up to see his look of concern, as he took hold of my arm and moved us further away from the others.

"... Are you gonna tell me what's_ really going on_? Cause ... you know... While I love having my ass kicked in poker just as much as the next guy... something tells me that was all a ruse... a distraction? Where is Jacob?"

"With the others... The pack ... And... Carlisle."

_"He's_ _here?"_ Charlie asked through gritted teeth. "Why... what the hell does he want. I thought Jacob told them all they were no longer welcome here?"

"He did... But Emily and I ran into him at the store a few days ago. He said his only reason for being back in these parts was because he had something important to discuss with Jacob. He made it sound vital..."

"... I _don't_ trust him..."

"I know... And right now... I'm not so sure I do either. But Emily left to alert the elders. Something's not right here. She said she'd call me as soon as she knows anything."

"Your mother and Phil-..."

"I know, dad." I sighed in reply.

"This couldn't have been worse timing!" Charlie huffed. "Your mother has seen a lot of crazy in her day, but this would push her right over the edge, Bella. She's not ready to hear all of this... maybe she will be someday, but not today. Hell... I_ was barely able_ to process it all and keep my own damn sanity."

"We'll figure something out.-"

"Like what? Sue and Billy are already suspecting something. They know better than to fall for this. It's only a matter of time before Renee and Phil pick up on that mood, too."

"Maybe between all of us we can distract them? We'll have to take it an hour at a time for now."

"Yea... I'm real comfortable with that..." Charlie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"There's not a whole lot of other suggestions..."

"Okay... I guess we don't really have another choice here, Bella, but you've got to wipe that worried sick look off your face though, honey. Your mother will see that and know."

I sucked in a few steadying breaths and soon walked out with him to join the others for pie. I was far from hungry, but ate a bit more just to keep everything calm and moving amicably along.

I could tell my mother was beginning to wonder where Jacob was and why he'd had to leave so suddenly. I did the best I could at distracting her by talking with her about anything and everything that entered my mind. Charlie was a big help in the reminiscing department. It got her laughing and kept everyone's mood light and their attention distracted.

By the time dark came, I had to remind myself with every passing minute to keep my face from showing the panic now flowing through my veins. There had been no word from Emily. No word from Sam or Jacob, and the more time that passed, the harder it became for me to pretend everything was okay. I saw my father smile at me from across the table, and I returned it, now noticing my mothers eyes watchful of me.

"Bella?" She asked, taking my hand. "You look pale, honey? Feeling alright?"

"Yea... I'm just exhausted. Been a long day." I sighed, kissing her on the cheek as I headed upstairs to my room. I needed to take a minute to myself, or I was gonna lose it. When I crested the bottom step, I felt a hand catch my arm, stopping me there.

"Don't go up there." Charlie stated. His tone sounding almost desperate.

"Why?" I asked... "I just need a minute to-"

"I know... you need to take a breath... away from everyone. But uh... you see... I uh... Painted your room the other day and the fumes are still real bad in there, Bella." He huffed in explanation.

I shook my head, perplexed by his sudden urge for home improvement all of a sudden.

"Why would you paint my room?"

"Well... The paint was old and faded... Not to mention cracked in some places. I just figured a fresh coat would do the room some good. You know? Spruce it up a bit in there? Nothing wrong with that. I just ... uh... wanted it to be a surprise."

I hugged him and felt his embrace tight in return. "Thank you. You should have told me and I would've come over to help you."

"Don't be silly. Wasn't too hard." He replied. "You can use my room if you want. Just don't take too long or your mom will start drilling me about Jacob."

"I won't." I replied, heading up the stairs and checking my phone for the tenth time.

I called Emily and felt my stomach drop when it went straight to her voicemail. I could only hope that she had reached the reservation with no trouble and was able to alert the elders.

I felt utterly helpless and blind. The unknown of everything making me go damn near crazy.

Could the loss of Edward and Alice been Carlisle's unraveling? Had he come back for revenge and lured us into a trap of some kind? Was he working with Aro?

My blood ran cold as I pondered all the horrific possibilities. Jacob and the others could be in a fight to the death right now for all I knew and here I was sitting down stairs eating damn pie!

I truly had no idea what kind of threat we were facing now, or if there was a threat at all. If Aro had somehow gotten to Carlisle and convinced him to seek revenge for Edward, then his sudden reappearance here would prove to be nothing more than a lure into whatever trap he had baited them to.

The sudden sound of my mother's scream had me running down over the stairs. My breath stopping when I saw my father now holding a collapsed Billy.

"Call 911!" Charlie shouted to Sue, who already had the phone in her shaking hands. I rushed over to them, moving past my crying mother and Phil.

"Lay him down." I told Charlie, as I checked him for a pulse. "What happened?"

"He was laughing with us and then he just stopped... He had this terrified look on his face... and he fell out of his chair..." Charlie explained, his voice strained as he laid him flat on the floor.

I frantically felt for a pulse and couldn't find one. "He's not breathing!" I yelled, my eyes beginning to blur with tears.

This couldn't be happening... no... no...

I placed my hands on his chest and began CPR. My tears spilling down as I tried to get his heart beating again. "Billy... Don't you leave us." I begged, repeating the numbers in my head... over and over again.

1 -2 -3 -4... breathe... 1 -2 -3 -4... breathe.

"The ambulance is on it's way!" Sue yelled, falling down next to Charlie who remained on the floor.

I felt for a pulse again and began sobbing aloud when I couldn't find none.

"Billy!" I cried, before breathing a lungful of air into him. "Don't you go! Don't quit... come back... Please."

I heard my mothers cry and Sue's wailing Sob when I continued to pump his heart for him. My whole body shaking with my own sobs as I repeated the motions in my head again.

1 -2 -3 -4 breathe...

"Come on, Billy." Charlie begged.

The sirens soon blared as the ambulance came barreling into the yard. Charlie jumped to his feet and opened the door for them, as they came rushing in with a stretcher and equipment. The male paramedic soon asking me how long he'd been down as I blew another breath into him.

"... Um... Six minutes... maybe seven..." I replied.

1 -2 -3 -4 breathe...

I felt him move me aside as they surrounded him. I slowly stood on shaky legs with Charlie and Sue, watching them shock him twice, and seeing his whole body jolted from it.

The words from the paramedic making my own heart ache. "I can't get a pulse..."

I fell down next to him as they tried to shock him again.

"Billy!" I sobbed. "Don't go... Don't quit! Please!"

I felt Charlie try to pull me back and I fought against him. Seeing the paramedics share glances that told me they weren't hopeful. I watched with bated breath as they shocked him for the third time. The paramedic swiftly moving the stretcher over to him.

"He's got a rhythm!" He yelled. "His pulse is thready but it's there. We gotta go... NOW!"

We all let out a cry of relief as we moved out of their way. They hurriedly loaded him onto the stretcher and into the awaiting ambulance.

"I wanna go with him." Charlie insisted.

"We have to_ go now_." The paramedic yelled in reply to him.

Charlie followed them out and we all went with them. My tears still running as I watched them load him into the back.

"Follow us down to the hospital, Bella." Charlie said. "Sue will stay here in case Jacob comes back... she'll watch Levi."

"Levi..." I sighed, glancing back toward the house and seeing Sue wave us on.

"She'll take good care of him. We have to go."

"We'll go with you, Bella." My mother offered, running outside to me with my jacket in her hands. I slipped it on and frantically searched my pockets for my keys. My hands still shaking so bad, I could hardly grip them.

I stayed close behind the ambulance as it screeched through town. Seeing the many cars pull over as it sped to Forks Hospital. My mother cried the entire way and Phil tried to comfort her, but her sobbing continued nonetheless.

I whipped the truck into the closest parking space available and jumped out, handing the keys to Phil who offered to park it in the Hospital parking garage for me. I thanked him as mom and I nearly ran in through the doors and straight to Charlie.

"He's breathing, Bella... He's breathing... They think he had a massive heart attack... Said he's real lucky to be alive-"

I saw Charlie's eyes water as he choked on the last word.

I threw my arms around him and felt my mother join our embrace as we waited there. All of us praying for Billy to be alright and my heart shattering as I thought of Jacob. I had no idea where he was... No idea what was going on...

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Sue called me a few short minutes later to tell me Jacob and Sam had finally returned with the pack and they were headed straight here. I tried to contain my many questions for now, knowing my mother's listening ears were close by. She was beginning to be too observant and I was almost certain that she would be asking me some questions the minute we had some time to ourselves.

I got some coffee and bought Charlie a cup as well while we waited for any news on Billy. My head still full of the horrifying image of him laying on the kitchen floor completely lifeless before us.

I waited and watched as the many people came and went before my eyes caught a glimpse of Sam, Paul, Leah, Seth and Jacob as they came running in.

Jake looked truly haunted as he pulled me into a tight embrace. "What happened, honey?"

"They think he had a heart attack." I shakily replied.

"Is he stable now?"

"No one has come out to give us an update yet."

Jake released me and went to the front desk. His tone angry and demanding when he addressed them. "I need to know what's going on with my father and when I can see him. He was brought in by ambulance not long ago."

The nurse at the front desk shook her head with sympathy as she scanned the computer. "I'm sorry, what is your fathers name sir?"

"Billy... Billy Black."

"I'm sorry, sir. But you have to wait for the Doctor on call this evening to speak with you-."

Jake shook his head in anger, slamming his closed fist down on the desk. "So you can't tell me a **damn thing**? What the hell do you work here for then?"

"Do I need to call security?" The nurse challenged him. Her eyes growing wide in alarm at his temper.

"Yea... go right the hell ahead! Call them! No one around here seems to know how to do their damn Job!" He yelled.

Sam soon intervened and pulled him back from the desk. "Jake... Bro... We just gotta wait this out. We're all here with you. Come sit down."

"Sam's right, son... Don't get heated..." Charlie added, patting Jake on the shoulder.

He pulled his arm free of Sam's grasp and paced the floor, waiting as the many minutes passed. I offered him the only support I could by taking his hand in mine, pacing there with him and praying a hundred prayers. I could only hope that Billy would be able to recover from this.


	58. Chapter 59

**A/N: Hello everyone :) Decided to spoil you guys with two new chapters tonight! Enjoy and as always, HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER FIFTY -NINE**

**(BPOV)**

This couldn't be real. This all had to be a nightmare... one I wanted to wake up from screaming in the comforts of a warm bed and an even warmer embrace. But the sound of my mothers hushed crying and the look of constant worry that plagued Jacobs features, told me this was all_ very real_. I couldn't even blink without seeing the unwanted image of Billy laying lifeless on Charlie's kitchen floor.

"What the hell is taking so long? It's been-" Jake began.

"Mr. Black? Are you Jacob Black?" An older doctor interrupted, his eyes assessing the two of us as Jacob jumped to his feet in the waiting room, his hand leaving mine as the rest of us followed suit.

"Yes... Yes I'm Jacob."

The Doctors gaze grew grim when he took a final look at all of us. My heart dropping nearly out of my body when I recognized the look of pity he now wore.

"Your father had a massive heart attack... a silent myocardial infarction. We were able to keep a steady heartbeat, once we got him back but he's been touch and go ever since. We're running several tests on him now and it appears he has coronary artery disease. You see, when one develops this condition, it causes those arteries to become narrow and blood cannot flow as well as it should."

"... What does that mean exactly?" Jake hedged in reply. His response laced with confusion.

"Well... What it essentially means sir, is that your father's heart attack was caused by this. When someone develops coronary artery disease, there is a build up of inflammatory cells, calcium, or proteins. These build up within the arteries and they are what cause the insignificant blood flow to occur and ultimately they are what starve the heart from the much needed rich oxygen to keep it healthy and functioning properly. Your father will need a double bypass to remove the blockages. It is major surgery for a patient to endure and with your father's weakened state right now, I am not comfortable performing the bypass until he shows some significant signs of improvement. I am afraid his heart won't withstand it. The ECG we performed on him a short while ago, showed significant damage. We'll be drawing some more blood soon to properly measure the levels of cardiac enzymes. This will help us further determine just how much damage was done to the heart muscle and what the best course of treatment for him will be from this point forward."

Jacob cleared his throat, his gaze remaining on the Doctor and his silence upon the matter making me hurt for him.

Charlie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder as he addressed the Doctor himself.

"So... what your saying is... He could... die... if you don't do the surgery?"

"There is a chance that your father's condition will only worsen before we can perform the bypass. As I said before, we need to draw more blood and take action from there. His vitals have been more stable over the last few minutes and we are monitoring him closely. As soon as we have any more results, I will come back and speak to you."

"... Can I see him?" Jake asked, his eyes looking past the doctor and growing vacant with his nearly inaudible request.

"Of course. But with him being in ICU, there can only be one visitor at a time and_ Family only_."

Jake nodded and glanced around to us all, his reply sincere when he spoke it. "Everyone here_ is family_ to him."

The doctor nodded and gestured for Jake to go along with him to see Billy. I felt my fathers arm wrap around my shoulder as a tear ran down my cheek. Billy was such a part of all of us. He had touched the lives of each and every one of us in one way or the other.

"Billy's strong, Bella. Don't count him out yet, honey." Charlie sighed, meeting my tearful gaze.

"I won't..."

My cell phone began to buzz in my pocket and I numbly answered it, my whole attention still captured by the sight of Jacob walking down the hall with the doctor.

Sue's alarmed voice on the other end quickly snapped me out of my trance. Her words urgent and fearful.

"Bella? Is Emily with you?"

"No... Sam said she left him a message on his phone a little while ago. Told him she would be leaving from the house to get Levi and meet us all here."

"When exactly was that?" Sue frantically asked.

I turned and motioned for Sam to come closer to me. He got to his feet and I handed him the phone, my heart beginning to fiercely pound when he addressed Sue.

"What... wait... what do you mean she hasn't picked him up yet? She left over an hour ago."

Paul and Seth were next to us before I could even fully blink. Sam's tone alerting them all to his exchange with Sue.

"When?" Sam asked, his dark eyes wide when they met mine. "Okay... Sue... listen to me. Don't. Go. Anywhere. Stay put. I'm coming to you."

He handed me the phone after abruptly ending the call and ran out the exit without so much as a backwards glance. I watched him go and couldn't resist the urge to follow him as I ran out into the cold after him.

"Sam!" I yelled, seeing him stop on the sidewalk and turn back to me as I approached. "Tell me what's going on?"

"Emily should have been here with Levi by now. Sue says she hasn't even picked him up yet. I can't reach her on her cell."

I could see his intense worry and it mirrored my own.

"I should get Jacob... -" I replied, turning back for the Hospital and stopping when his firm hand caught my arm.

"No... Jake is with Billy. It's where he needs to be-"

"If something's going on-"

"I need to go check on her myself first. I'll call you as soon as I know anything."

With that, he ran to his truck in the parking garage and peeled out onto the main road. I stood there, feeling myself grow more sick with worry over her. She should've been here by now...

I turned back for the hospital, seeing Paul emerge from the exit with a worried expression of his own.

"He shouldn't be going alone!" Paul sighed. "It's dangerous."

"I know... I don't have a good feeling about this."

Paul, Seth, Leah and I all waited in the waiting room for Sam's call. Each passing minute dragging by and only causing our worry to grow.

When Sam's call came in, his words had me sick.

"Sam?" I answered.

"They've taken her!" He yelled.

"Wh- what... WHO?"

"She's gone, Bella."

I saw Paul's tremors begin when he overheard Sam's anguished voice cut through on the other end. Leah was already out through the Hospital exit before Sam could say anything else.

Paul took the phone from my shaking hands. His tone fierce with Sam. "We're coming to you, Sam. Hold tight, bro."

I saw my mother fast approach us then, her eyes still red from her tears. "Bella, what is going on?" She asked, seeing Paul and Seth take off running, dodging people as they went out.

Charlie saw the madness and soon joined the conversation.

"Renee, why don't you come with me and Phil to get some coffee. It's been a long day for all of us." He said, trying to redirect her his way.

"No!" She snapped. "I can clearly see that_ something_ is really wrong here and all day I've had the feeling that all of you are keeping something from me and I think it's about time I find out just exactly what that is!"

I glanced up at Charlie, my eyes pleading with him for help.

He shook his head and tried convincing Renee that she was simply over thinking things.

"Renee, don't be foolish. Okay? Everyone is on edge right now and I think we all could use some sleep. Come on, I'll take you and Phil back to the house and we'll get some rest. If anything develops with Billy, Bella here will surely give us a call."

"Absolutely." I replied, hugging mom and seeing Jacob turn the corner down the long hospital hall. His look vacant and his entire body rigid.

"Maybe you're right, Charlie. I'm... oh I feel silly... I'm tired and I do need some sleep. All this worry over Billy is beginning to take a toll on me. I just have never seen him like this... I feel helpless. I wish there was more I could do."

"You being here means a lot to him and Jacob. Go home with Charlie and Phil, Get some sleep and I'll be home in the morning to update all of you."

"Okay... " She sighed, her gaze falling upon Jake as he approached us. "Jacob... if you need anything... I mean anything at all, don't you hesitate to call me, okay?"

Jacob simply nodded and my I felt my eyes sting with new tears as she hugged him and told him she would be praying for Billy tonight.

He soon released her with a genuine thank you as Charlie stepped over to him. "Son... We're all just a phone call away, alright? Your old man is one of the strongest people I know. If anyone can fight this and make it through, he can."

"Thank you Charlie... for coming... for everything."

Charlie nodded to him and helped Renee put on her coat before escorting her and Phil out the exit and into the bitter cold.

I turned to face Jacob the moment they were out of sight. My hands shaking when he took them.

"Emily's-"

"I know." He declared, the warm hue of his gaze swiftly changing right before me. "Paul told me. He sent me a message. Sam's house is completely trashed. Emily put up a hell of a fight... They left some clues for Sam to find..."

"They..." I replied, my entire body rigid with fear for her.

"It's Carlisle, Bella..._ He has her_. I'm certain of it."

I tried to keep my composure as I processed his words.

"What did they say before?... I mean... with Billy and everything..."

"I know... I never meant to leave you in the dark all this time. When Carlisle showed up outside your house with Esme earlier, he claimed to be there to warn me about Aro... About his strategy... Professing he knew exactly what Aro's plan was. Down to the detail. He and Esme told us that they were here to offer their help with the Volturi. Tried to tell me that Aro had built himself a new coven... That we'd be idiots not to take his offered aid. I refused and he grew angry at my rejection. He tried to convince me that without his help, we would never beat Aro at his own game. We fought and things got increasingly volatile."

"That's ... why you were gone so long before?"

He nodded. His look angry when he continued.

"Paul has already alerted the others. The whole pack is waiting for me at Sam's. I have to go, honey. The longer we wait-"

"Where the hell would he take her? And why her? Why Emily?" I asked aloud to him, putting a voice behind my thoughts.

Jacob's intense look effectively silenced me from asking any further questions. His heated gaze already telling me where.

"No... No..." I breathed, feeling the very room spin with my realization.

"We took something from him, Bella. Now he's taking something from us... someone. He knows Emily is Sam's imprint."

"What can I do?" I offered, feeling his hands on my shoulders as his eyes met mine.

"I need you to stay here with dad for me..._ please_. I_ hate_ leaving him like this... but I have to go. I already called Rebecca and Rachel. They know about dad, honey. Their catching the first plane out to Washington in the morning... Rebecca said she was able to book the 5am flight. They will be here as soon as they can. I want Charlie to come back here with you. That way you're not alone. I'm gonna call him and see if he can come back without raising too much suspicion for your mom and Phil. Alright?"

I nodded to him in understanding because it was all I could manage as I tried desperately to process all this.

"You're... going to Italy-" I soon stated in a shaky tone, seeing his eyes meet mine.

"I don't know, honey. I'll know more when I get to Sam's. I have to meet with the pack before I determine anything."

"Bring her back to Sam..."

He pulled me into a tight embrace and I felt the terror seep its way through me. They had taken Emily and I knew the lengths Jacob and the entire pack would go through to get her back. No stone would go unturned and no measure would be dismissed. Sam would give his_ all_ to get her back and Jacob would be right by his side.


	59. Chapter 60

**CHAPTER SIXTY**

**(JPOV)**

My whole world had been_ turned fucking upside down_ in a matter of moments. All prior plan for revealing the house to Bella tonight, was now long forgotten as I ran with lightening speed through the forest. My mind filling with the memory of dad in his hospital room.

He was eerily still as I approached his bed side. His color pale and the sound of the constant beeping from his heart monitor, the only persistent sound now in the room. I didn't dare to touch him or even move the wrong way as I sat next to his bed, pulling up the chair left there for visitors. My throat grew tight as I glanced at the many machines he was hooked up to. My eyes seeing the IV line that lead to his arm.

With my sadness for him came a solid lashing of guilt. It's weight heavy upon me.

I hadn't been there when he'd needed me most...

I hadn't caught him when he'd fallen...

I fought back the urge to _scream_, feeling utterly fucking helpless now and_ hating_ it.

The doctors words replayed over and over again in my mind as I sat with him. Seeing his chest rise and fall.

His heart was damaged but I knew how damn strong he was and I could see him shaking his head at my needless worry right now. Telling me to go home and not fret like I was.

"Dad..." I whispered, leaning in closer to him. "I'm not ready to lose you..."

I felt my eyes sting and my throat grow tighter as I thought of mom.

"I know how much you loved her... love her still... and I know she's waiting for you over there... But please... don't go. Fight it... fight to be here with us. With the people who love you. With me... and Bella... Charlie and Sue... Rachel and Rebecca. Dad... we all love you and we're here waiting for you to come back to us."

I placed my head in my hands and felt the tears roll down my face as I continued to plead with him.

"I want you here to see your grandchildren... To have more laughs... More memories... More time..."

Memories of my childhood began to surround me as I stayed there with him. Vivid memories, of the first time he taught me how to ride a bike... how to change the oil in a car... how to fix just about anything when it came to the ins and outs of an automobile. I would know nothing like that if it weren't for him. If he hadn't taken the time to show me. I could remember the first time he taught me how to carve wood... how the simplest of things became such artwork for him. I was in awe of him then and I still was. I could remember looking up at him when I was just a little boy and thinking he was superman back then. Everything he did to me was like magic. He had certainly been dealt more than his fair share of bullshit in this life and he always took it all in stride and rose above it. My father was the furthest thing from a burden to me. I wanted him with me... with us. He did the best he could by me and my sisters and I would never turn my back on him.

"Just because I'm grown doesn't mean you're done teaching me things... Doesn't mean I'm done learning from you. I'm sure I'll screw up a lot more along the way. I need your advice to straighten me out. There's plenty left for you to show me."

I was almost damn certain he could still hear me so I kept talking.

"... Sue told me Bella kept your heart going till the paramedics showed up ... She's worried sick for you... she loves you so much, dad. She thinks the world of you, too. We all do."

I huffed at the memory as I neared the bordering tree line at Sams. The harsh and sickening aroma of leech soon invading my senses and making my anger rise ten fold as I broke free from the trees.

Leah and Paul were the only two in wolf form, standing guard outside Sam's house. There eyes full of seething rage as I phased back to human form, pulling on my torn jeans and running up over the deck. I stopped the moment I entered, seeing the house completely trashed and blood on the floor... Emily's blood.

Tremors rocked through me as I met Sam's anguished gaze.

"She fought like hell..." He stated, his tone despondent and his eyes black with tangible fury. "But they took her, anyway Jake! They took her from me!"

I could hear it there in his seething tone... The delicate balance between humanity and the raw animalistic rage he felt to kill them all for taking her.

"The Elders are on their way, Jacob." Embry informed me.

I nodded and glanced around, seeing Emily's bloody handprints on the glass door. She had fought hard. She hadn't gone willingly. Emily wouldn't.

I touched the blood, seeing Sam's eyes follow. "I'll kill them all!" He yelled.

"This is too fresh..." I replied.

"What do you mean?" Embry hedged, looking at the blood himself.

"I don't think he's headed to Aro with her..."

"What are you thinking?" Sam asked, his tone dark.

"I think that's what Carlisle wants us to believe. He's toying with us. Seeing if we'll take the bait... just like his deranged son tried to pull. We destroyed half his coven... he's out for revenge... Hungry for it... He's not heading for Italy... He has her close by..."

"His old house..." Seth asked, joining us by the door.

"We go there first..." Sam replied, his tremors beginning to swallow him whole.

Sam matched me stride for stride as we all ran toward the Cullen's old lair, seeing the house now lit as we closed in around it. The sickeningly sweet and overpowering leech stench, striking us all in the face when we surrounded the property. They were here... They were all here.

I watched as Carlisle paced back and forth by the window on the second floor, his golden gaze glaring out into the night every few seconds. He was waiting for us. He knew we'd come.

I listened closely, soon picking up on their conversation.

"You_ really_ believe this is the route we must take?" Esme asked, her tone uncertain.

"We've been over this! Time and time again!" Carlisle snapped. "There is no other way."

"Carlisle-" She protested.

"Am I the only one who wants them to pay for what they've done?"

"You saved his life once-"

"If I had known then what I know now... I would have_ killed him myself_ that day." Carlisle yelled.

Snarls soon erupted from the pack behind me, as Sam stepped forward next to me, his growl menacing.

"What have we become Carlisle?"

"... That which we truly are, my dear... That which we truly are. You know the deal Aro set in place. If we give him what he needs, he will spare us."

"So he says." Esme bit back.

"We have no choice but to honor our agreement. We'd be foolish not to. Rosalie and Emmett will be here shortly and when they arrive, we are to fulfill the promise we made Aro. We shall not terry in doing so."

A scream suddenly shook through the forest... Emily's scream.


	60. Chapter 62

**A/N: Hello everyone :) This chapter will be different as it will be done in ****Emily's point of view****. I really wanted to give her a true voice through this. I hope you all enjoy it and thank you again for the continued reviews and support. HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER SIXTY - ONE**

**(EPOV)**

I hadn't been ready... or even close to prepared for what was waiting for me when I sped back to La'Push, eager to find out what the hell was going on. I hadn't seen it coming... hadn't thought twice about entering my own house. I should have...

I had been naïve enough to think that the _true threat_ wasn't on our own land yet.

When I opened my front door and headed for the kitchen, I felt my skin begin to crawl at the sound of the house door suddenly closing behind me. I knew it wasn't the wind... knew I had left it open... and I now knew that I was no longer alone in my own home.

I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the moonlight cast a shadow on the angry face of Carlisle Cullen. His golden gaze haunted when he hissed my name.

"Emily."

Despite my fear, I boldly turned myself around to face him.

"Get out..." I yelled. "You're forbidden here!"

He was in my face before I could even blink, his hissed reply sounding lethal.

"Two of my sons... and one of my dear daughters... are gone because of the wolves-"

"Their gone because of their own _selfish actions_!" I replied, backing away from him.

"You'll have to forgive my intrusion-"

"**I don't!** Get out of my house!" I yelled.

He laughed in mockery before stalking forward and grabbing ahold of me. I fought his iron clad grip to the best of my ability, feeling him soon toss me across the table like a rag doll as I struggled.

"Don't make me hurt you!" He raged, hauling me back to my feet.

"Let go!" I screamed, my eyes falling upon the picture held up by a magnet on the fridge of Sam and I. The mere sight of him in the photo now giving me the courage I needed to keep fighting back. Carlisle slapped me hard across the face and I landed on the kitchen floor with blood running from a split lip.

"You're making this difficult!" He roared.

I stumbled to my feet and met his angry gaze. My words bitter and as vile as the taste of blood now in my mouth. "You're a true demon... all of you... and when Sam finds out what you've done... He will show you_ no mercy._ You're a fool to even cross over into our land."

"I did what I had to! They've left me no choice." He seethed.

I wiped the blood from my mouth and continued to back away from him. "Tell me, Dr. Cullen... aren't you supposed to help treat the wounded? Not inflict the pain?"

My ignorant mockery had proven to be what pushed him over the edge and I was soon shoved against the wall with great force. The crashing sound loud enough to rattle the house.

"I'll make you a deal..." He hissed in my ear, now holding me by the throat. "Bella trusts you... Does she not? Trusts you enough to lure her to her own grim fate? You help me capture Bella and bring her to Italy... to Aro... and I'll let you go... let you be to live your human life with Sam and your baby boy."

I shook my head in protest to his arrogant and evil request and soon spit in his face. "Not a chance in hell!"

I had been taught to never back down... Taught to never quit... It was in my nature to put up a fight. I didn't care what the odds were or that they weren't currently in my favor, I fought him_ anyway_.

"Stupid girl!" Carlisle seethed, releasing me to fall to the ground, choking and gasping for air as I crawled away from him, the blood from my badly split lip now dripping onto the kitchen floor.

He knelt down next to me, grabbing my ponytail and roughly yanking my head up to see his angry face.

"Get away from me!" I screamed.

"You really are loyal..._ too loyal_. While, I understand the human connection-"

"Like hell you do! You have to be _human_ and not a_ soulless monster_ to grasp such an emotion. You no longer have that!" I bit back.

He hauled me up, swiftly placing me in front of him. His golden gaze of anger beginning to fade some now. "There was a time I knew that human emotion well. A time I can no longer go back to. Don't you see? Losing Edward... Jasper ... and Alice... took whatever small part of that I had left... _away_."

"... Edward tried to take something back that was never his, Carlisle. Something that always belonged to Jacob. Bella made a choice and was meant for Jacob and he selfishly and crudely tried to claim her for himself by means of fear and manipulation. He did not love her... he was obsessed with her."

"... Be that as it may. I do not believe the punishment fit the crime!"

I shook my head at his ignorance.

"Do you truly not understand the spirit of a wolf?"

"I've done my fair share of research. I know well enough of their kind." He coldly replied.

"Obviously not enough research ... if you did ... You'd surely know what lengths they go through to keep and protect that which is theirs."

My eyes never left his as I spoke this. For if he knew nothing else, I wanted him to know what his actions would surely cause. I wanted him to know what fury he had just unleashed. If I accomplished nothing else here ... I wanted to accomplish this.

I watched as his golden gaze narrowed showing his anger at my words. "Are you threatening me, Emily? One would think you would be smarter than to do such a thing. Especially one in your vulnerable position."

"You can do whatever you want to me... I know Sam is coming... I know he will find you and rip you, along with the rest of your sorry ass coven, apart and I'm gonna smile while watching him do it!"

"What makes you think you'll be alive long enough to witness what you claim?" He hissed.

"If you had any real intention of killing me... or changing me... you would have done it by now. Why wait? What's the point?"

"Maybe I have bigger plans for you..."

I felt the fear work its way over me as I looked away from him, knowing what he meant.

"If you change me-" I began.

"If? I say ... more like when."

I tried to keep my fearless and strong composure, but with every passing moment, that began to slip.

"You're going to break the treaty and bite a human... against my will..." I stated, seeing his eyes flash with an unreadable emotion. Regret? Guilt? Anger? I couldn't place it.

"It is what needs to be done." He sighed. "I never used to be one who sought vengeance, but now I know what it feels like to hunger for it and I'm afraid nothing but the blood of Jacob Black will fulfill that desire for me. It is a divine thirst, unquenchable by that of any other."

I snapped my head up at his words, seeing his eyes meet mine.

"Jacob... you want to kill Jacob?..."

"He took half of my family away from me. It is only fair for me to return the gesture before killing him. I want him to know what it feels like to watch those you love destroyed."

"... you sick and twisted-"

"CAREFUL!" He yelled to me, stopping my verbal lashing mid sentence.

"That's why you want Bella? Why you're taking her to Aro?"

"What better way to get my revenge? Forcing Jacob to watch her changed into that which he hates would surely be his undoing... Seeing Bella become that which he detests."

My reply was quick but I knew it was true before it had even left my mouth.

"He'd love her anyway."

"**Nonsense**!" He angrily shouted.

"It's true and you're _too much_ of a pompous ass to see that."

Carlisle's gaze grew feral. His hissing loud and angry. "You're so certain of that. Certain of the uncertain! Jacob wouldn't-"

"Don't you_ dare_ proclaim to know what he_ would and would not do_ for Bella! You know nothing of the power the imprint holds... What it truly possesses... The unconditional bond... The strength it gives them and that makes you an even bigger fool to overlook it. Jacob would cross hell for her twice if needed... Just the same way Sam would for me. The very same way he's coming for me now and when he gets his hands on your sorry ass-"

He laughed aloud, pacing back and forth in front of me.

"I expected as much. You see... it's all part of my plan dear Emily."

"What the hell are you luring them into Carlisle!" I yelled, as he grabbed ahold of me, now forcing me to go with him. Dragging me through the house and out the front door. I put up a fight, grabbing a hold of anything to grip along the way and leaving a sure trail for Sam to find.

"Emily!" He snapped, once outside. "Fighting me will only prove to hurt you worse!"

"Do you expect me to go with you willingly?"

"No... but I didn't expect you to put up such a fight!"

He hauled me down over the steps, where I continued to scream until another hard slap made everything go black.

I wasn't sure how much time had gone by when I came to later, hearing the sound of Carlisle's shouting. My head was foggy as I tried to move, feeling the tight restraints on my hands and realizing that he had tied me to the bed. I was uncertain of exactly where I was, until I heard a door close and glanced over to see a large figure now in the room with me. His face lifting as the moonlight touched it. I instinctively tried to move away from him when he approached. His look to be irritated when he reached out to touch me.

"Don't!" I snapped, seeing his gaze roam over me before I felt his cold hands touch my wrists as he untied my hands, freeing them. I sat up and eagerly moved away from him, placing myself in the far corner of the room and staring at him in confusion.

"I'm Emmet." He sighed. "I don't think we've ever officially met before. Hell of a way to meet wouldn't you say?"

His chuckle was light and his gaze almost remorseful when I rubbed my wrist, seeing the red line on my skin from the harsh rope.

I swallowed down my fear and took a small step closer to him, seeing his gaze to be genuine and trying to use this to my advantage.

"I don't think we have." I replied.

A throbbing ache on my left cheek, had my hand gingerly lifting to touch the dried blood there on my face from Carlisle's second hit. I winced, feeling it sting from my touch.

Emmet approached me then, his sudden movement making me back myself up into the far wall and suck in a sharp breath. He stopped short and held up his hands in mock surrender.

"I'm no gonna hurt you, Emily."

"How do I know that?" I whispered in question.

"I guess you don't." He replied, dropping his hands.

There was something in his eyes that seemed different to me... Set apart from the Cold gaze I saw in Carlisle earlier. He appeared to be uneasy and even a bit nervous.

"Can I... have some water please?" I asked, testing to see if he would show me some kind of compassion.

"Sure." He replied, leaving the room and locking the door behind him so fast that my eyes couldn't follow his rapid movements.

Once he was gone, I frantically searched the room for anything I could use as some sort of weapon later, but ultimately came up empty. The room had been picked clean of anything useful. Only a king sized bed remained in it now.

Emmet soon returned with a full glass of water and handed it to me. I cautiously stepped forward and took the offered glass from him, seeing his golden gaze watchful of me as I drank it down.

"Thank you."

He nodded and took the empty glass from me, his eyes going to my wrists.

"Sorry about that..."

His offered apology left me stunned momentarily.

"For ... which part?" I hedged forward. "Taking me against my will or tying me up here and keeping me captive?"

"All of it." Emmet replied with a disgusted shake of his head. "It's_ not_ right!"

I felt my hands start to shake as tears clouded my vision. "I have a son now... a little baby boy... Levi... who needs me."

"I know." Emmet sighed. "Carlisle's wrong. All of this is wrong."

I ran over to him, seeing his eyes grow wide at my sudden approach. "Then let me go. Please... I know you don't know me very well. But... please... please let me go."

"If it were up to me... I would. Carlisle thinks this is the answer... but he's wrong. All this won't bring any of them back. Not Alice... Edward... or Jasper. Aro wants his own revenge and he knows just what buttons to push to draw Carlisle in. He's conniving that way."

"...But you... you don't buy into what he offers you all?"

"No. Not one damn bit. Carlisle started this coven a century ago so we would be set apart from the others like us. The red eyes... I don't want that life. I don't thirst for human blood and I never want to again. Aro will turn us into his puppets, always under his damn thumb. It's no way to exist."

I could see it there in his expression that he hated what was taking place.

My tears ran freely when I whispered my reply to him. "If you free me... let me go... I can talk to Sam... convince him somehow not to come after all of you." I was desperately reaching for anything at this point and I knew it..

"No... If I betray Carlisle, he'll kill me himself, if Aro doesn't get to me first. There is_ no mercy_ for us now. I wouldn't blame Sam if he destroyed Carlisle for this. I would... if someone took Rosalie from me. Edward's the one whose really to blame for this fucking mess and now we're left to clean up after him."

"What..." I asked, uncertain what he meant at first.

"He knew what Bella was destined for... years before we came back to Forks. Alice had visions of it, some of them_ unclear_ she said. Telling us all that the wolves played with her visions, made them fuzzy for her. But they were _clear enough for her_ to know exactly who Bella belonged with. Edward was well aware of this and he came here for her anyway. Came back to Forks to take her for himself. Carlisle tried to convince him not to back then, but there was no changing Edwards mind once he had his sights on her. She became what he existed for."

I stared at him, feeling the heated anger rise within me from his confession. None of hem had a damn clue what Jacob had gone through when Bella had nearly married Edward, or what torture he endured when she left for Jacksonville to be with her mother. It had been his unraveling. That time was like hell on earth for everyone. It had caused Jake to _damn near_ lose himself entirely, almost killing Sam for Alpha because of it.

Emmet saw my face and he continued on.

"You don't know the measures Edward took to get her... to keep her for himself."

"Like what?" I asked in a breath to him.

"He staged that whole trip to Italy when he went to reveal himself to the public at the festival. He hated himself for letting Bella go the way he did before and couldn't find a way to exist without her. Alice knew that Bella truly didn't kill herself, that she hadn't drowned and she told Edward so. But Edward saw that as the perfect opportunity to get her back and away from the one she was truly supposed to be with ..._ Jacob_."

I felt the room close in around me as I sat down on the edge of the bed, listening to his every word.

"He was hell bent on getting her away from him. Hell bent on keeping her for himself for eternity. His hope was that Jacob would hate her once she was changed into what we are. ... Once she became a newborn. He banked on that, thinking Jake would never be able to truly love her after she had become his sworn enemy. That's why he went to Voltera. To Aro back then. Alice had a clear vision of Bella with Jacob... _Married to him_... having his kids... all of it and when Edward saw it, he went running back to Forks and saw how close they'd become."

I was left utterly speechless. All he had said now invading my mind and making me want to run into Sam's arms and spill everything Emmet had just told me. Bella had been toyed with all along. Her confusion back then about Edward and why she could never seem to fully let go of Jacob, even on her own wedding day, now made perfect sense to me. She had run from it, leaving Forks behind for two years because of how uncertain she was. As it turned out she had run for a damn good reason.

"She's Jake's... Belongs with him... Always has..." I whispered, voicing my thoughts out loud to Emmet.

He nodded and paced in front of the large bay window, seeing the moon high in the night sky. "He had no right to do what he did. To manipulate her and confuse her like that. That's why there was always something between Jake and Bella, even though she couldn't understand it herself at the time. Why she always felt like a piece of her was missing without him nearby. It used to drive Edward crazy. He absolutely hated that Bella wouldn't just leave Jacob behind. Hated that it was so difficult for her to let him go. But her soul knew what was true and I'm glad she didn't marry him. Edward deserved what he got and you'll never hear me say otherwise." He sighed, soon pausing as he raised his hand to my face, lightly running his finger down my cheek. "This should've never gone this far."

"Emmet... you have to help me get out of here. We can do this together... out smart him... something... please." I begged him, feeling myself grow way past desperate now.

I knew it was a hell of a long shot but I was willing to try. Willing to take whatever risk needed to get the hell out of here and back with Sam.

"I can't." He replied, turning from me. "It's not that simple. You don't know _what's coming_..."

I felt my breath hitch as he placed his hand on the door to leave. I ran after him grabbing his stone cold arm and pleading with him. "You told me yourself just now that this is all wrong. You know what he's planned. Emmet... please help me... tell me what's coming."

"I've already told you too damn much."

"Please!" I begged, seeing him turn back to face me. His look truly filled with dread when he spoke.

"Aro's new army."

"When?" I gasped, feeling my skin crawl with immense fear as he met my gaze.

"Soon... Very soon, Emily. We don't have much of a choice upon the matter. Carlisle has offered our aid to him in ending the wolves. All of them. We either join his army and fight with him, or he destroys us. Esme hates this as well."

"No... No!"

I couldn't feel anything anymore. My entire being now going numb at his blunt words.

"How many ... tell me how many are coming in his army?" I gasped.

His look alone answered my question as I fell down on my knees by the bed, my mind filling with Sam... and Levi... Bella and Jacob... all of them.

"Their planning to wipe out the reservation aren't they?" I cried to him.

He nodded and looked toward the door. His keen hearing picking up on something mine hadn't.

"Carlisle is coming. You can't let on that you know, Emily. He will kill you if he _suspects you know anything_."

I nodded and got to my feet, quickly placing myself back on the bed as Carlisle entered.

"I see you're no longer restrained?" He asked Emmet.

"I didn't see the_ need_ for it." Emmet replied.

"Did I ask for your opinion in what you saw the need for?" Carlisle snapped back at him.

He grabbed the ropes and quickly tied my hands back to the bed. His knots tight and painful.

"Keep a close eye on her. That is _your only_ job." Carlisle hissed. "Aro and the others will be here in the morning."

I bit my tongue and felt my tears run as Carlisle glanced my way. "Don't pull anything stupid!" He hissed to me before slamming the door behind him as he left us.

Emmet was quick to loosen the knots, making their restraint less painful. His jaw flexing in anger when he glanced back out the window.

"That's why I'm here?" I asked him in a shaky whisper. "He used me as a distraction. A way to lure the pack away from the Reservation..."

"Yes." He sighed.

"You can't go along with this... You can't really play a part in this!" I soon yelled.

"I told you I don't have a damn choice!" He bit back.

"Everyone has a choice, Emmet! Everyone. Has. A. Choice!"

He shook his head, pacing his way back and forth with agitation.

"If I free you... Carlisle will catch us both and he'll kill you for sure Emily."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take. You don't understand! I have a son! He's just a _baby_ and if I can't save him and my entire family from this... If I can't at least try- ... If Aro and Carlisle succeed- ... I'll be dead inside anyway."

I knew that the Elders were on the Reservation and that Jacob had tried to prepare them for something like this. They would be expecting it... but vastly outnumbered. My only hope now was that Emmet would cave to my plea's. For it was the only way.


	61. Chapter 63

**CHAPTER SIXTY - TWO**

**(BPOV)**

Charlie and I spent the night in the waiting room of the hospital, seeing the many people come and go as the hours passed. The both of us had taken turns checking in on Billy, seeing his vitals remain the same and praying for him to wake up and give us one of his classic grins we loved to see so much.

"You must be exhausted, Bella." Charlie sighed, handing me another cup of coffee.

"I'm okay..." I replied, my mind wandering to Jacob and the pack and Emily. I feared greatly for her, knowing the kind of danger she was in now and feeling truly helpless. I wanted to take action... some kind of action... To do something to help her, but I felt as if my hands were tied. I had promised Jacob I would stay here at the hospital and look out for Billy and I intended to keep that promise. I knew that it tore him up to leave Billy the way he did, but he had a job to do.

"You have to tell me what's going on here, Bella." Charlie asked, leaning forward in his chair.

I hadn't told Charlie what had happened with Emily yet. I had been waiting to hear something from Sam or Jacob... any of them. But I had heard nothing from them. and leaving Charlie in the dark wasn't fair anymore.

"Emily's... missing..." I whispered to him, seeing his eyes grow wide in alarm.

"_Missing!"_ He sharply replied, leaning himself in closer to me. "Since when? Why didn't you tell me! I need to call the station and get someone on this."

He began to get to his feet and I grabbed his arm, stopping his movements. "Wait! No... it's not_ like that_... I mean _she's missing_... Jake and the pack are trying to find her right now."

Charlie sat back down and kept his eyes on mine as I continued.

"It may be Aro... or Carlisle... I don't know... But I know one of them has her and she's in real danger."

"What are we looking at here, Bella? Your mother and Phil are sleeping at the house. Are they safe there?"

"I won't know a damn thing until someone gets in touch with me. And right now, I have to stay here... for Billy. I promised Jacob..."

Charlie's face soon lost its color as the wheels began to turn. I could see his panic surface whenever his gaze met mine.

"What if he's watching the house right now?" He asked urgently. "I should go get them. Bring them here with us. At least then I'd have eyes on them. It sure in hell beats sitting here and waiting for something to happen."

I knew he had a valid point and I myself didn't want mom and Phil to be in danger while they were here.

"How the hell are we gonna keep mom from finding out what's really going on?" I nervously asked him.

Charlie shrugged, his look grave when he replied. "Well... If things get much worse around here, we'll have no choice but to tell them both, Bella. For there own safety and well being. But ...I uh ... don't think there's enough therapy worldwide to help your mom when we do tell her... if we tell her."

"Don't say that..." I sighed.

"Bella... you know your mother. This will be too much for her-"

"You handled it better than I thought you would. I mean, maybe not at first but you're doing alright."

"This is different. I love your mom, always will, but she's not the most grounded person as it is. I just hope this isn't what pushes her over the damn edge. Either way, we may have to tell him. There's no other way for them to be safe."

Our chatter ceased when I saw Billy's doctor round the hall corner, heading our way. His look weary when he greeted us.

I held my breath as I gripped Charlie's arm, alerting him to the doctors approach.

"Miss Swan?" He addressed me. "Mr. Black is awake... and he's asking for you. He's stable now but his visitors need to be limited. We're monitoring him... very closely."

I practically ran to his room, darting around the doctor and nearly colliding with a few nurses along the way. I hurriedly apologized and ducked into his room, seeing his eyes wide with recognition when I came in. His breathing tube now removed and his voice raspy at best.

"Billy..." I breathed to him, genuine relief now flooding me at seeing him awake. "You're...You're..."

He motioned for me to come closer and I went to him, feeling his hand take mine when I was in arms reach. "Bella... Where is my son? Where's Jacob?"

His tone was desperate and his eyes wide as they searched mine. I had never seen such a fearful look in him and to behold it now was truly horrifying.

The sound of his heart monitor beeping erratically had the nurse soon running into the room.

"Where is my son, Bella?" He asked me again in a frantic tone.

I tried to choose my response wisely, not wanting to further upset him in his current vulnerable state.

"He's...-"

"I had a dream, Bella." Billy interjected sharply. His eyes dark and plagued with a torment I had never seen in them. His hand tightening in mine as he pulled me in closer to him when the nurse drew near.

"Mr. Black... You need to calm down. I'm afraid your visitor needs to leave for now and come back later. Your health is our main concern here and having you upset like this is dangerous." She cautioned, withdrawing a loaded syringe and attempting to give Billy some kind of sedative to help cam him calm down.

"It was so damn real, Bella." Billy gasped, looking like he'd seen a ghost.

The nurse was stern with her warning to him then. "Mr. Black... I need to take it easy ... This isn't good for you. Your visitor needs to leave you be now. She can come back later-"

"No... I want her to stay in here with me." He strongly protested as she tried to move me aside. Billy held onto my hand tighter, drawing me in even closer to him.

"Billy..." I replied, speaking softly to him in my own vague attempt to calm him down. Whatever he'd seen in his dream had really rattled him and the look he wore now was more than enough to rattle me all the more. "Take a few deep breaths for me... okay?"

He nodded once and did so without protest as the nurse tried to inject him with the sedative.

"No drugs!" He suddenly yelled at her, startling us both. "I don't want be half out of it. I need to be awake and alert. So please... just leave us be... Please"

The nurse gave me a cautionary glare before hesitantly leaving the room. Her look less than pleased with us as she went on her way.

"The dream, Bella. Everything was so vivid and so real. I could see them all. The entire pack and Jacob... And the Volturi. There were so many of them, Bella. They outnumbered our spirit warriors. There was so much blood..."

I clutched his hand in mine and met his horrified gaze as my mind drew up the picture he had just painted for me.

"You have to go to Jacob... find him and tell him this. Tell him what I've seen in my dream, Bella. It is a warning from the spirits. One we can't ignore!"

"They have Emily..." I confessed in a breath to him, seeing his face go even more pale as he tried to sit up and remove his I.V.

"When? Who has taken her?"

"Carlisle... I believe he has her."

"It's a trap!" Billy seethed, as he tried to get out of the hospital bed.

"Billy... you can't leave here. You're not well enough."

A soft voice from behind me had Billy ceasing his attempt to leave as it filtered through the room.

"Daddy?"

I turned to see Rachel standing in the doorway. Her eyes red from her tears as she ran over to him, hugging him like it was the first time they'd seen each other in years.

"Rachel..." Billy sighed with joy, embracing her. "What are you dong here, honey."

"Jacob called me... told me what happened. Rebecca should be arriving in town shortly. She's on her way." She replied, cradling her fathers face with adoration. The sight of it truly touching.

I had backed away from Billy's side so she could greet him and felt now as if I was intruding on their moment. I headed for the door, wanting to give them there space for a few minutes when Rachel called after me.

"Bella, wait."

I paused, turning to see her tear filled eyes meet mine as she swiftly approached me. Her hands taking my own when she spoke.

"I want to thank you for being here with my father when we couldn't. I'm very grateful for you being with him. Please tell Charlie how appreciative I am to him as well?"

"I will, Rachel." I replied, feeling her pull me into a welcome embrace.

"Its great to see you again." She sighed. "... though I wish it was on better terms."

"Me too."

I could feel Billy's eyes upon us. His gaze nearly tortured when it held my own.

"I'll let you two be. I'm sure you have a lot to catch up on." I sighed. "I think I'll go keep Charlie some more company in the waiting room."

Billy spoke up then. His tone steady for Rachel's sake, but his gaze screaming something else to me.

"You and Charlie should go home, Bella. I appreciate all you've done, but I'm sure the two of you need some rest."

I nodded, picking up on his hint to leave and offering an assured smile to Rachel before my departure.

"Yea... that's probably a wise idea." I replied, seeing Billy gesture for me to come near for a hug good bye.

His grip was tight when we embraced and his whispered words strained when he spoke them in my ear. "Go find my boy, Bella... Please warn him... all of them."

I nodded to him as he released me. His words heavy and making my heart pound wildly as I exited his room.

Charlie had been just outside in the hall, waiting for me when I left Billy and his eyes went wide when he saw my expression.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked urgently.

"We have to leave... _now_." I replied, grabbing him by the hand and leading him with me out of the hospital.

"Where are we going? Bella... Bella?" He asked as I ran with him to the parking garage in a mad search for his car.

"Where the hell did you park, dad?" I yelled, looking all around for any sign of his police cruiser.

"I think we're on the wrong level. It's up one more."

I grabbed him by the arm and began to run up the many stairs with him when he pulled back.

"Where the hell are we going!?" He demanded to know.

"Just... Trust me, okay?" I huffed in frustration, feeling the clock tick by.

"Trust you? For what?"

"DAD!" I yelled, pulling him with me up the long flight of stairs toward the next level.

We searched row after row, whirling around in this direction and searching that corner, still unable to find it.

"You cant remember where you parked?" I yelled, feeling Billy's plea surround me as I searched frantically.

"Got it!" Charlie soon yelled from two rows over. I sighed in relief and ran to him, jumping in as he placed the keys in the ignition.

"Are you going to tell me where the hell we're going in such a hurry?"

"I need you to drive me to La'push as fast as you can get me there."

Charlie met my gaze, seeing my desperation and he quickly turned on the blues and raced us out of town. His speed hitting upwards of ninety - five once on the highway.

"Are they here?" He asked me, gripping the wheel with white knuckles. "The Volturi?"

"I don't know... but... Billy... he had a dream. Said he could see them all... said Jacob and the pack would be outnumbered and that taking Emily was a trap. I have to get to him..."

Charlie nodded once in understanding and his face paled as we neared the reservation.

"Bella, I know you're going to do whatever you have to, and I know there's not a damn thing I can say to stop you but please... be as careful as you can be and remember I love you."

I touched his arm and nodded as he whipped the cruiser onto the reservation and soon slammed the brakes on in front of Jakes. I got out, not stopping to look back or even close the door as I ran inside.

The house was empty and had been ransacked. Pictures smashed and end tables turned over in the living room. I held my breath and rounded the corner into the kitchen, seeing the table now splintered to wooden bits. Each drawer in there small kitchen, ripped out and dumped all over the floor. Silverware now strewn everywhere and paperwork laying like litter in each direction I turned.

I stepped around the many items of clutter, my eyes catching the now shattered framed photo of Emily and Sam that Billy had kept. I leaned down and picked it up in my shaking hands just as Charlie cautiously stepped into the kitchen with me. His gun holstered and his hand lingering near it,

"Who did this?" Charlie seethed, glancing around at the many piles of wreckage.

I never got the chance to answer him. The sound of my phone ringing interrupted us. The loud tone startling me as I reached in my pocket and saw the screen light up with an incoming call from an_ unknown number_. I placed the picture in dads hands and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"_Isabella..._ How nice of you to take my call."

The voice was clear and sadistic. It's tone recognizable almost instantly. My blood ran cold as I steadied myself by gripping the counter.

"Aro..."

"Very good." He sighed. "You remember the sound of my voice."

"Of course..." I breathed shakily to him in reply.

"Tell me Isabella... What are you _willing to sacrifice_ to save the ones you love?"

It was then that I heard the sound of a woman screaming, followed by a baby's soft cry as my whole body went rigid with hatred for him, for all of them.

He had Sue... He had Levi...

"Don't touch them!" I yelled, hearing his sadistic and twisted laughter come through on the other end.

"You are not one to demand anything of me. Remember your place, Isabella." He snapped in reply.

"What have you done with them! He's just a baby!"

"All the more better... To have the unique privilege of raising him up into one of my own... Wouldn't you agree?"

His words and tone were truly chilling and I had all I could do to keep from screaming aloud.

"_Let them go."_

"That all depends on you. Now you... my dear... get to choose the way this little chess game of ours plays out. But keep in mind... I would be cautious if I were you and be sure to make your next move wisely... Very, very wisely."

I shook with fear and fury at his warning. This was a game_ I had_ to beat him at.


	62. Chapter 64

**CHAPTER SIXTY - THREE**

**(BPOV)**

Charlie stepped closer to me. His eyes on my own as I listened to another soft wale come from baby Levi. A fury rising up within me I never even knew I could posses. He had taken Emily's son... Taken Sue Clearwater as one of his little pawns in the sick game he always played with his unsuspecting prey, only I wasn't nearly as unsuspecting as_ he liked_ to think I was. I knew a lot more about their kind and how_ they worked_ ... knew far more about **_what made them tick than most were privy to_**.

I took a steadying breath and stood up straight as I spoke to him.

"You don't need Levi... or Sue... they serve you no true purpose, Aro, and I can assure you, if you harm a _single hair_ on that baby's head, Sam will make it his life's mission to find you and rip you apart and Jacob will burn Voltera to ash... nothing of it will remain."

There was an eery silence that crept through the line and I tried to keep calm as I waited for his sadistic reply.

"Do you think I don't know what will surely ensue if I were to delve into my darkest blood thirsty desires and simply kill this child... and the woman? You see Isabella, I have been around for hundreds of years. Seen many of my own clan come and go. But you... you my dear, are a unique find. One that I_ must have with me_. You will be of great use to me in Voltera. Your future belongs with me. It is a fate already sealed."

My hands shook as Charlie tried to touch my arm, his look alarming.

"If I... If I go with you... You'll release them? You'll leave them be ... unharmed... and let Sue take Levi far away from you?"

"If that is what you wish. After all dear, you are the one who said it... for they are of no true use to me. But you_ are._"

I felt the shattering of my own heart as a clear picture of Jacobs face came rushing into my mind... This would kill him...

... But Aro could kill Sue and Levi ... Or worse ...

"Isabella?" Aro hissed over the phone to me, growing impatient. "You were _promised to me._ Long before you ever met Edward."

The blood in my veins suddenly ran cold from his words. His hissed confession making me ill from the realization of what his words_ truly _meant.

"Edward_ promised you to me_ and despite his untimely and misfortunate demise... I will always get that which is promised to me. That which is mine."

Upon Aro's last few words, there was a thunderous, forest shattering roar the nearly rattled the house from it's powerful force. Charlie instinctively drew out his gun and placed me behind him as the roaring continued.

"ISABELLA!" Aro seethed over the phone as I clutched it in my shaking hands.

"Stay behind me, Bella." Charlie huffed.

A calming feeling suddenly washed itself over me as another fierce roar thundered through the forest. I knew without the need for visual confirmation, exactly who that powerful roar belonged to.

My words to Aro were sharp and laced with a bitter acid when I spoke them.

"I will_ never_ be yours... I belong to the Alpha. Your reign of power is about to be_ over_."

"**ARE YOU DENYING ME**!" He seethed in rage. **"HOW DARE YOU DENY ME**!"

The front door was suddenly ripped from it's hinges with great force and I dropped the phone as _my alpha_ tore his way in through the house. Charlie's eyes wide as I pushed myself forward, forcing my legs to move and waiting for the warm and soul searching eyes I knew so well, to meet my own. Wolf or man... beast or human... he was there and those eyes always remained.

I was overcome with relief as he stood boldly in front of us. His gaze sweeping over me... possessively... instinctually.

My father, who hadn't seemed to take a single breath since Jacob had appeared to us in wolf form, looked like he didn't know whether to be relieved or more terrified.

Jacob stalked toward us and phased back to human form, approaching me with haste and now completely naked. Charlie moved himself away from us. His eyes looking in every direction but towards Jacob.

His hands were quick to cradle my face, his eyes flowing with a fierceness when he spoke. "They're coming..."

"... I know ... " I replied... "Aro has-"

"Sue and Levi." Jacob seethed in reply. "Sam and the others are coming fast behind me. The elders are still keeping a watch at Carlisle's. Waiting to make a move... Timing is everything here."

"They still have Emily?"

"Yes... I-"

His words were abruptly stopped as he inhaled sharply and moved away from me. His tremors immediately starting back up and soon engulfing him fully before I even had time to formulate a response to his rapid change.

My eyes watched closely as he shifted inside the house. Far enough away from Charlie and myself to leave us unharmed but the mere force of it, wrecking the living room further. Their home truly looked now as if a damn bomb had gone off inside it.

I was soon being nudged by his powerful muzzle backwards, closer to Charlie and away from the front of the house. His wolf gaze met my own feared stare briefly, as he turned to run outside. His roar rattling the very floor beneath our feet as he charged his way out. Though he didn't get the chance to speak to me more ... to further explain... I needed no more detail. I knew by just the look in those eyes of his where his head was and where this left me now. I was officially on Aro's list of interests... One of his future servants to be collected... The missing piece of his chess game... He wanted me and clearly would do anything... go to any extreme... to get me.

I was numb as I thought of mom and Phil back at Charlie's. Were they safe still? Were they okay for now? Would they be for long? Jake probably had sent some of the pack over there already? Jake was thorough like that... quick on his feet... and always thinking ahead of the enemy. I took comfort in this reminder as Charlie spoke to me in a hushed whisper.

"This is it... isn't it? Those evil bastards are gonna try and take you from me... From us... right?"

I glanced up at my father, seeing his eyes full of immense worry and dread. The color and hue of them mirroring my own in so many ways.

"Yes... Their here... and coming for me."

"I feel completely helpless!" He soon yelled, grabbing his gun from it's holster again and taking the safety off. "What the hell good am I if I can't protect you from all this! You're my daughter and I may as well be a sitting duck!"

"You're here with me, dad and that means more than you know. But... If they get close enough..."

"No!" He sharply interjected. "Don't you even think about telling me to leave you here! No way... I risk my life everyday on the force... Doing the job I love and If I'm gonna die, Bella. I'd gladly die doing what I treasure most... _Protecting you_."

His words had my tears running. Not out of fear... but out of knowing how true they were.

"Promise me something?" I pleaded with him when I heard the sound of the roars from outside grow louder signaling to me that my alpha was no longer alone. The others were here... and the Volturi were undoubtedly closing in around us.

"... anything..." Charlie replied, gripping the tops of my shoulders to steady me.

"If... If Aro... gets what he wants..." I choked... "If he takes me... today... to Italy with him... You have to promise me you'll always know that I'll come back to you ... that I'll fight until I can't. Okay?"

Charlie nodded, and my heart shattered all the more to see his own eyes glossy and a tear run down his cheek.

"I promise, Bella."

"And... There's one more thing... something you have to swear to always do... please... please... watch over Jacob... don't let this destroy him... I know what will happen to him if they take me... change me... the separation alone... so please... be there for him... the best you can."

Charlie swallowed hard as another feral roar settled over us. Our eyes locked on each others with emotions falling from them.

"You have my word, Bella... I promise you."

I wasn't ready to face this... but ready or not... here it came.


	63. Chapter 65

**A/N: Hello everyone! My sincere apologies for the wait with this chapter. Thank you for your patience and continued support of this story. This short chapter is another Emily point of view. Fear not, more is to come! ;) For now ... Enjoy and happy reading!**

**CHAPTER SIXTY - FOUR**

**(EPOV)**

I had been left alone in this dreaded white walled room for hours and hours. The sound of footsteps just outside the hall every now and again was the only sound that stood as a constant reminder to me that this was real and not just a dream. I had really been taken into the house of the enemy and was now being held prisoner by the cold ones themselves. My only kindness shown through Emmett every few hours when he would drop in to check on me with a glass of water or half a smile. He had told me he would think about our previous conversation, but he had yet to say two words upon the matter in the many hours that had passed since then. The longer his silence lingered on, the more I would assume the worst and think that maybe he had chosen not to show me any mercy or help me after all. I knew he was my only damn hope of getting out of here in one piece.

Carlisle had felt the need to bind my hands with zip ties this time around, seeming to ditch the ropes for something with more hold. Emmet had tried to persuade Carlisle that the restraints weren't needed but it was useless. He seemed to get a raised thrill out of seeing me in a bound state and the sadistic look in his eyes had me inwardly wishing I could burn him to ashes soon. His overwhelming sense of empowerment was enough to make me sick. He was always barking out orders to everyone throughout the house. His yelling being loud and wall shattering at times, like he was a wired bomb ready to explode at any moment.

Esme was heard yelling back a few times, though it was rare and made me wonder why she didn't challenge his authority more on the matter. She clearly felt his actions were wrong. Her yelling always stating so. A small part of me wondered if she was really just afraid for her own existence. He was truly acting like a homicidal maniac and every once in a while, I would hear the blonde... Rosalie... put in her two cents on the matter.

"You know it's only a matter of time before this all turns into a blood bath! And for what, Carlisle? Revenge?"

"Rose! Your brother is gone-"

"He was fixated on Bella. He was deranged, Carlisle. She had become his obsession. There was no reasoning with him.-"

"You're either_ with us_ or you're _against us!_** Decide**!" He hissed angrily her way.

"You're making a decision that will** undoubtedly** affect us all Carlisle!"

**"Enough! I have stated my feelings upon the matter."**

"So... that's it?! Esme... can't you talk some sense into him?" Rosalie yelled.

"Esme stands with me... She is my mate... we are a team here and she is trying to respect_ my decision_ with this. It is for the good of our coven ... or what's left of it, anyway. I'm sorry if you can't find it within yourself to understand that."

The fighting of this nature continued on and off through the night. I waited and listened to it all, my wrists raw from incessantly trying to get free. Come dawn, my overall exhaustion began to get the better of me.

A light knock on the door had me sitting up straight and bracing myself against the headboard as golden eyes peered in at me. Rosalie looked remorseful when she approached me with a tray of food.

"Here... Carlisle says you need to eat."

"Not hungry." I bit back. My tone cold and unforgiving.

"I know." She sighed, glancing down at my wrists with pity. "I told him you wouldn't be but he insisted I try anyway."

She reached her hand up to my face then, making me flinch away from her with fear.

"I... I'm very sorry..."

Her tone was genuine and I dared to think she was being sincere.

She stole a glance toward the door and quickly closed it behind her before rushing over to me and freeing my hands. The move so fast, I could hardly follow with my ordinary human gaze. My hands were suddenly freed and for that I was grateful.

"You're not an animal... you shouldn't be treated that way..." She sighed as she pushed the tray of food my way.

"Thank you..." I breathed in relief, rubbing my wrists.

"I can't be part of this..." She whispered to me. "I never even wanted this life... it was nothing I considered one time the way Bella almost did. She made the right choice in the end... Now she gets to have the human life that I would kill for. The human life that doesn't leave you forever frozen in time like this... never moving forward. I know Jacob and Sam will come for you and I know they won't come alone. This will be a fight to the end."

Her words had my stomach churning as I thought of my husband going up against such an army as the Volturi.

"I'm sorry you never got to finish your ordinary human life, Rosalie. I know we don't know very much about each other, but Bella has shared with me in the past how you tried to get her to change her mind."

"She was my brothers fixation. Not his love. The two are vastly different."

"... But she's Jacob's everything... his love..." I countered.

"Truth be told... I envy her more now than I ever have before. Despite the madness surrounding us all... Carlisle I'm afraid, has become that which he loathed all along. He wasn't always this way. The grief over Alice and Edwards demise has turned him into the monster he so desperately tried to keep at bay all these years... Not only for himself, but for all of us... For Edward, too. I fear this is it... that there is no going back. He has placed us in a contract with the enemy."

Her gaze revealed to me her true sadness upon the matter as she spoke of it.

"I have a son..." I breathed.

"I know..." She sighed, shaking her head and glancing toward her hands now neatly folded in her lap. "He's making a grave mistake."

"You know this, too ..."

"I do. Emmet has addressed me with his concerns and I feel the same. Carlisle has allowed his rage and grief to severely cloud his judgment."

She then arose from her seat upon the bed next to me, walking closer to the window in silence as she glanced out into the gloomy morning.

"You plan to allow him to continue on with this? Even though you know it would be a massacre."

"What other choice do I have?-"

"You're not his submissive for shits sake. You can come up with something... anything... stop him!"

"He would have my head for it... literally." She ghostly replied.

"What's the point of existing anymore... if Carlisle has already promised your servitude to Aro? You will all be his slaves... his puppets. What kind of existence is that!?"

"Not very much of one."

She slowly turned back to address me further. Her eyes a clear shade of incandescent liquid gold.

"... I no longer want to exist in this life... as I said... it is a form of torture to never move forward, and if Carlisle has his will, I will be a servant to the most vile creature of our kind there is. I had my choices taken away from me so many years ago when this life was forced upon me, but now... in this moment, I get to choose how my destiny will end. It is a right I still have and one I won't allow to be so coldly taken from me. I have been thinking... plotting ... secretly. Trying to find a way to stop him and free you. Emmet and I spent much of the evening delving into the different ways we could get you away from here and back to your land in time... before Aro and the army he has prepared arrive here. It will surely be too late if he arrives here before hand. We have to act quickly, Emily. It is the only way."

"What have you planned?" I asked her, getting to my feet with haste.

"To kill Carlisle."

I stared at her in a state of shock. Her words coming out in a very calm and even toned manor when she spoke of this.

"You're willing to-"

"Yes." She cut in sharply with a hiss. "It must be done. A sacrifice for the good of all involved. Emmet and I have earned Carlisle's trust over the many years we have remained with him and Esme. He won't see it coming. It will have to be fast, a last second choice. He doesn't have the gift of reading minds, but he is smart enough to anticipate an attack by mere body language moments before it happens. With any luck, Emmet and I will be able to take him on."

"What about Esme... She will fight you over his safety."

"I am aware of this and I've prepared myself for having to handle her. I don't wish to harm her. She has been nothing but good to us all this time, but in the end, the choice I make will be based on her own reaction. She knows what Carlisle is partaking in is wrong and while she hasn't acted yet herself to stop him, I thin she will see our reasoning when the time comes."

"That's your hope..."

"Yes, this is my hope."

"Hope is a fleeting bet, Rosalie."

"Indeed it is..."

"She could easily turn on you to defend him. That would leave you fighting against her and Emmet on his own with Carlisle?"

"Emmett is strong. He can match Carlisle in strength, but it is strategy I worry about. Carlisle has been around longer and he knows more."

"What part do I play in all this?"

"You need to be aware of the fight when it happens and be ready to run when it does."

"And if this plan of your goes horribly wrong?"

She approached me with one long stride, placing her hands on my shoulders with her reply.

"Then ... you run anyway, Emily. Run as fast as you can... run for yourself... for your son... for Sam."

I saw it there in her incandescent golden gaze... the truth to her words and the plea from her mouth... She meant what she said.

"When... when do you plan-?" I began.

"It will be soon... and quick... I cannot give you the exact time... because as I explained before... Carlisle is experienced and our best chance is to attack him when he least expects it. What you have to do is by vigilant and ready... ready to run at a moments notice. Can you do that? Will you be able to find your way into the woods?"

"I know the woods like the back of my hand... even in Forks... One of the perks of growing up here."

"That's good... because there is no guarantee that I can get to you... to help you. I will do my best, but if this goes wrong... or if this goes right... you run like hell, either way."

She released my shoulders and went to turn away from me as my hand reached out to touch her. My fear bringing me up short.

"Wait..." I breathed, swallowing hard at the rising lump of fear growing in my throat.

She paused at my touch and glanced over her shoulder to meet my worried stare.

"The reservation... the people there... They are all my family, Rosalie. Jacob... and Billy... Bella... Sue... Seth and Leah... and Sam... and my beautiful son... Levi. They are_ my own family_. If you know something about what the plan is for them... please... I'm begging you to tell me."

She shook her head, her face becoming a winced expression as she hesitantly met my eyes with her own. The dreaded look in them enough to make me want to run screaming for home and straight for the arms of the man I loved with every breath I took... Sam.

"I can't say with certainty what Carlisle and Aro have planned, but I will tell you this... Aro is ruthless and a vile being. I can only hope that this isn't the end for your family... for your land, Emily. For I would wish that on no one. Albeit our differences aside now... may the spirits be with your family... All of them."

I watched her as she left the room and felt the cold of her words wrap around me, drenching my heart and soul like the remnants from a cold Fall rain. Heavy dread began to seep its way into my mind, leaving me kneeling by the bed with my head in my hands. For all that I held near and dear to me was now threatened and I began to feel the reality of the situation wash over me.

Even if I broke free from here ... ran like hell for home... would I make it there in time... and would there be anything left to go back home to?

I began to weep aloud, seeing the image of Sam and my son clearly in my mind and feeling the abundant ache overwhelm my heart.

A loud crash soon shook the downstairs and I jumped to my feet, quickly wiping my tears and running to the door just as Carlisle shouted.

"Have you gone mad!"

There was no reply but the sound of a scream echoing through the house from Esme.

"Emmett!" She shrieked

The sound of it like a battle cry as the determination to get home unfurled within me. It had begun and my time was now or never to make a move.


	64. Chapter 66

**A/N: I wanted to give all of you a little Holiday treat this morning and while I understand it may be a short chapter... fear not... for more is coming tomorrow! I would also like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for following this story as it continues on. Last but certainly not least this morning, I would like to wish you and yours a _very_ HAPPY THANKSGIVING. ENJOY THE DAY WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AROUND THE FESTIVE KITCHEN TABLE AND BE BLESSED! :-) As I always say... HAPPY READING! **

"When the enemy is closing in and the bitter cold sweeps around you... When the only feeling you absorb is terror... it is then you will truly know what you're made of..."

**CHAPTER SIXTY - FIVE**

**(JPOV)**

I stood amongst my fellow wolves, seeing them encircle around me with snarls of rage seething out from each one. Their many thoughts unruly, loud and almost deafening to hear all at once. I kept my gaze on the forest, feeling the fur on the back of my neck stand up as an unmistakable stench swarmed around me. Quil and Paul came running toward me, their position on my flanks as the others all fell in line to face the very threat that stood to end our whole damn land. I did a mental head count just as the revolting stench drenched our senses like a heavy acidic rain. I had called upon each elder I could find and though our numbers were better now, it didn't erase the worry I had that one of my own, or more, would be killed in this battle by the end of it.

As the sight of them all came into view, my wolf gaze swept over the mass of them, seeing the many...

The dozens...

No...

The sets of dozens...

They all walked in a synchronized march as they approached us. Their long black robs touching the barely snow covered ground as they went. The pack became infuriated and I ceased all attempts at keeping their fury reigned in. For this was_ their own land_ that stood to be destroyed as well. They had _every right_ to rise up to the enemy that dared to challenge all we stood for.

I saw some of their red irises bulge in alarm as they came closer and closer. The look upon some of their stone faces telling me they were uncertain of this approach and it placed a confidence within me to behold it.

I stepped forward when my eyes fell upon the small bundle in Aro's deadly arms. The tiny waling cry making my insides rage with undiluted fury. Sam's deafening roar came next. The power of it moving the forest floor under my paws as he ran toward Aro. I moved without thought, placing myself in front of him and ordering him to stay put. I knew his movements were on instinct alone and I sure in hell didn't blame him for it. If it were my son... I knew my reaction would be just as lethal.

"WAIT!" I commanded as Aro's voice cut through the forest.

"No worries pup... your son has been unharmed and treated with hospitality."

I moved closer with each hiss from him, my eyes watchful of Levi and hearing his cries become louder.

"I can see you have come prepared?" Aro hissed in accusation. "As you now see... so have we."

He inhaled sharply and I watched his eyes roll in the back of his head as he picked up on Bella's presence. His red eyes meeting mine in a lustful peeked curiosity. I roared in rage and placed myself directly in his path.

"She is here... within the small and delicate confines of that house... Do not deny that fact. You'd be wise not to. I... Can. Smell. Her. The smell of her blood... delectable... a true and divine richness does it surely posses."

He quickly held out Levi to me. Just long enough for me to get a good look at him, seeing with my own wolf eyes that he was unharmed and in good color before he snatched him back from my gaze, hurriedly cradling him back to his chest. The mere sight of it was enough to make me want to vomit. Seeing him hold something so innocent, cherished, and irreplaceable as Sam and Emily's son. His vile antics surely didn't go unnoticed.

"You see... It is all _very simple_ when you think about it... when you take the time to look at the situation here. All this..." He sighed, pausing to gesture with a wave of his arm toward the many of his dutiful followers... "All of it is just a precautionary measure. I do have to be sure you don't get the upper hand on me again... You have something I want... Something I am promised to have and I will not leave here without her. For she is no longer yours. Whatever small and insignificant wolf claim you have on her is now over ruled dear Alpha."

My head shook back and forth with the violent roar that left my muzzle. His words dousing me in a rage that was growing uncontained the more he spoke.

I knew what I stood to lose here...

I knew what the risks were...

I knew the only choice I had...

"Did you hear me mutt?" Aro snarled, revealing his venom soaked fangs to me.

"We don't need their permission!" Caius snapped, growing impatient. "Go get her!"

Aro shot a glance toward the house and hissed as he clutched onto Levi tighter.

Sam was about to lose his shit. His head low and foam now running from his muzzle as he fought the killing urge within him that grew to new heights.

There was a new stench that suddenly struck me hard in the face from the West, one that I immediately recognized as Cullen.

Sam's snarling ceased when the sound of a frantic shouting echo surrounded us.

"SAM!"

I snapped my head up to see her now running to us in the far off distance... Emily.

A blur of movement suddenly passed her and I heard the volatile cuss leave Aro as Emmett collided with Caius head on. The sound jolting me back to face a lethal Aro. His eyes wide with the recognition of betrayal.

I anticipated his move before he had made it and gave the order to Sam without further thought.

"Go!"

He took off running for Emily as Aro's enraged demand filled the air around us.

"KILL THAT BITCH!"

Like a gun had been fired... like a bomb had gone off... like the long burning fuse within me had run the fuck out... I snapped.


	65. Chapter 67

**A/N: I am so sorry for the extra two day delay with posting this chapter! The Holiday weekend went a bit longer with my family than I expected :) I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you'll enjoy this next chapter. As always, thank you for your continued support of this story and HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER SIXTY - SIX**

**(EPOV)**

The loud crashing from downstairs was my only cue to be ready as Rosalie had said. It was the signal I had needed to hear and it was soon followed by the sound of Esme's shrilling high pitched scream.

It had me running for the door and down over the stairs in a desperate attempt to escape, but a stone cold hand wrapping itself around my throat just as I reached for the front door, made me freeze as I was harshly spun around to behold the fuming golden gaze of Esme Cullen. Her iron clad grip on me was nearly suffocating as I tried to plead with her ... for myself... more importantly ... for Sam... my son... and the whole damn Reservation I called my family.

"Esme..." I gasped, frantically trying to claw her stone hand away from my throat. "Please... you... have... to let... me go."

She hissed as another loud crash echoed through the house. Her hand loosened on my throat as she whipped her head back around toward the noise, seeing Emmett and Rosalie now in a battle to the death against Carlisle, the smashing sound coming from the now shattered glass kitchen table as Emmett stumbled to his feet from the mess.

"Emmett!" Rosalie shrieked as Carlisle tried to pin her beneath him.

"Let me go... Esme..." I choked as she met my scared gaze. The look on her face a mix mask of fury, confusion and overwhelming sadness all rolled into one and for that brief moment in time, I felt true sympathy for her. For she had lost some of her only known children. Part of her family was now destroyed, and because of Carlisle's choices in this, she only stood to lose more of them. I would have no heart if I didn't at least acknowledge this.

She released me suddenly and backed away as she motioned for me to leave. Her wide eyes glancing toward the front door. I couldn't risk taking any more crucial time to asses whether or not it was a trap. I ran like hell anyway. For this was my only chance to be back with the ones I love. I tried to push down the fear and the small voice within that whispered there may not be anyone left to go back to.

I bolted down over there stairs and hit the snow covered ground, running like my life depended on it - cause it surely did.

I stumbled over the many stumps and blown down branches as I pushed myself to run faster and faster for home. I ran as hard as I could... as fast as could... for as long as I could.

I couldn't be too late... I just couldn't... There had to be something left to go home to... please... please...

My eyes began to fill with tears and my lungs soon burned from pure exhaustion as my legs began to cramp up, their heavy weight becoming almost too heavy to lift for me now.

I soon tripped over a branch and landed hard on the frozen forest floor beneath me. The bitter wind now whipping itself around my shaking frame. My clothes torn and ripped now as I huddled myself into a ball there, taking only a moment to catch my breath.

I could hardly feel my fingers as a hand suddenly reached down for me, causing me to jump back in fear and alarm. When my eyes fell upon Emmett's face, my smile was wide and my heart truly grateful.

"You made it this far... all on your own... come on... I'll help you the rest of the way, Emily." He offered, as he helped me to my feet and wrapped his jacket around my shoulders.

"Wh... wh... where's Rosalie?" I asked through chattering teeth.

"She's not far behind us."

"... and... Carlisle?"

Emmett shook his head with a grave look upon his face. " He's... gone. I did what I had to do... I had no choice."

I hugged him with genuine gratitude, feeling his stone chest press to mine when he returned the embrace.

"I'm sorry ... but... I can't thank you enough. I couldn't have made it this far without your help."

"Come on... we better get a move on." He replied, looking me once over and seeing my exhaustion plainly there. "You know, it would be a hell of a lot easier if you just let me carry you the rest of the way. I guarantee we'd make better time and you wouldn't have to be dead on your feet for the rest of the journey."

I glanced up at him to see the mischievous grin now firmly in place from his offer. The sight of it making me simply shrug my compliance. It did make more sense and time was of the essence now.

"Okay... but if you drop me...-"

"I know, I know..." He chuckled. "Sam would have my ass."

"Correct." I sighed, jumping up on his back.

"Hold on tight..." He warned, just before taking off through the dense forest with the speed of sound.

Trees now blew by us in a rapid blur. My body feeling as if I was flying through the forest with a speed I had never encountered. A speed I had never known. To see it was one thing, but to experience it now for myself, was another.

I wasn't sure how much exact time had passed as we flew, but before I knew it, Emmett's pace slowed and the rushing wind around me began to fade out. He placed me back on solid ground with a heavy sigh as he glanced toward a destination I could not see with my ordinary human sight.

"We're close enough now for you to run to him... to Sam. He's here. They all are."

My heart leapt into my throat, making it hard to breathe as I processed his words.

His golden gaze became unfixed for a moment, making me wonder what he was seeing or hearing that I wasn't privy to. His next few words were enough to send me into a sheer panic mode.

"Emily..." He cautioned, turning back toward me with a look of real concern. "The Volturi is here... they've already approached the pack with demands. We didn't reach them in time."

I began to run then, my legs now rested from the temporary relief Emmett had provided me and my weary strength now renewed by the raw adrenaline pumping hard through my veins to get to them.

I was only partially aware that I was now running alone... all on my own as I came closer and closer to the sounds of what I thought to be was my son crying ... somewhere off in the distance. I stopped where I was and ran my shaking hands through my long and now tangled hair, looking in every which direction in search of the sound.

What the hell was this?

Which exact direction was it coming from?

Was it real? Could it be real?

Had I lost my damn mind with all this shit? Had it just been too much for me to handle? Was my mind playing tricks on me from my exhaustion?

The many questions swarmed my mind as I heard the distinctive crying again and this time it was followed by the sound of an unmistakable roar... A thunderous and seething roar that I knew well... One that I had heard before..._ Sam's roar._

I took off running again. Going as fast as my legs would carry me, further and further into the forest and being lead on by that whaling cry... My Levi was crying out for me and I would surely cross Voltera twice to get to him.

When I thought my legs could carry me no further... when I thought my lungs would burst from the burning exhaustion..._ I saw them_. My body coming to rest against a tree as I caught the glimmer of Black Fur amidst the sea of others. I moved slowly at first, taking it one step at a time as I heard Aro's voice echo out over me.

"Did you hear me mutt?" Aro hissed aloud.

"We don't need their permission!" I heard another add.

I suddenly felt my blood run ice cold as I got closer and my eyes landed on the small bundle clutched in that monsters arms.

... He had my son in his deadly grasp...

I ran toward them as Sam let out a menacing snarl. My eyes glued to the sight of my sweet baby boy now being held by that sick and vile creature.

"SAM!" I desperately screamed as I broke into the clearing, seeing the many red irises now upon me. All rational thought was now vacant from me. I had for one thought and one thought only... one purpose... To get my baby away from Aro.

My whole body shook with adrenaline as I sprinted for them. My heart hammering away in the confines of my chest.

A sudden blur of movement blew past me, causing my run to falter some as I realized Emmett hadn't left me after all. He had planned it this way... waiting for the right time to make his move on the enemy. I saw him plow into one of the many members of the Volturi. My mind racing as I saw Sam coming toward me in wolf form. His long strides powerful and determined as he ran.

Aro's shouting order rang out loud and clear then, his deadly words sending a sense of overwhelming dread down my spine.

"KILL THAT BITCH!"

I ran even faster for Sam, seeing him get closer and closer to me just as my exhaustion peaked and I stumbled to the cold and unforgiving ground. My body unable to be pushed any further as I laid there.

I soon felt Sam's warm muzzle against my cold cheek as he nudged into me, several whines escaping him while I tried to get back up. Before I had a chance to rise fully to my feet... before I could even wrap my arms around his strong neck... He whipped himself around, his wolf form coming to stand protectively over me as they came toward us. I forced myself to my feet and heard Sam's powerful roar to them in warning.

We were far from alone... but we were vastly outnumbered. The elders were here and they were powerful, but the army Aro had made for this had proved to be as lethal as I feared it may all along.

Breath was stolen from me as I watched them charge ahead in our direction. My eyes scanned the many, seeing their deadly gaze fixed upon me as Aro shouted again.

"I SAID KILL HER! KILL THEM ALL!"

I huddled myself further into Sam's massive frame, my eyes glued to my son still held by Aro. It was a torment I'd never experienced... To see my child held in the arms of such a monster and feeling completely helpless to rescue him.

Sam backed us up closer to the tree line as they drew in closer, his whole wolf frame beginning to vibrate with fury.

"I love you, Sam... Please... Save Levi... If you have to choose... if it comes to a choice... Save our son." I whispered to him in a plea, knowing that if the unthinkable happened, and they did succeed ... It would be the last thing I wanted him to hear.

My tears ran as I heard Levi begin to fuss again. The sound alone tortuous for me as I buried my face in Sam's thick black fur. My heart screaming one question... Why did it have to end this way?

Sam suddenly stopped shaking, his snarling ceasing now in a moments notice. I cautiously raised my head to see the many members of Aro's army now mere feet away from us.

"Sam..." I breathed, trying to understand what had brought on the sudden calming change in him.

My answer soon came by the sound of Jacob's ear splitting howl. The power behind it, causing every wolf to stand at attention to him. All snarling stopped and every head bowed, including Sam's.

I watched as the many members of Aro's army ceased their descend upon us. Their red irises growing wide as the forest around us took on new life.

My heart nearly stopped when I heard the several deadly snarls come from behind me. I turned to see six new wolves emerge slowly from the tree line. Their strides slow and precisely accurate... like a hunter stalking it's unsuspecting prey.

Jacob let out another howl, just as loud as the first, his head soon shaking profusely back and forth with violent roars of rage. In an instant, I saw his entire russet wolf form begin to grow right before our very eyes. His massive frame becoming impossibly larger as he roared in untamed fury to Aro.

A glimmer of hope spread through me when I saw Aro's crimson eyes grow wide as he looked around at the many more approaching wolves. He shook his head in bitter disapproval as he clutched onto Levi. Sam roared aloud as we watched on in terror.

"You've made the wrong move you stupid mutt!" Aro yelled at Jacob. "Now the blood of this child will be on your hands... it will surely teach you not to cross me-"

"No!" I screamed as Sam took of running for them. The several new wolves following fast behind him.

A blur suddenly blew past Sam and I, causing a gust of wind to surround us as I saw Rosalie's golden locks fly by us with lightening speed. She hissed loudly as Emmett emerged from the opposing tree line with a granite head clutched in one hand. He tossed it toward Aro's feet with a smirk of smug satisfaction as he rushed to the aid of Rosalie, who was now fighting against two more of Aro's army.

"You have been nothing more than a fool to think you stand a chance against me!" Aro raged as Sam closed in around him.

Jacob's loud roar now shook the forest and was the sure signal to any remaining wolf to attack. They all charged toward Aro's clan with teeth barred and ready to kill. I held my breath as I watched Sam take on Aro. The sight of it shaking me to my very core.

I saw Aro hold my son up high in the air as he voiced his new demands.

"Kill me and the baby dies with me... I'll make sure of it."

Jacob shook with seething fury, his roar now matching Sam's as he tried to advance on Aro. I fell down on my knees as I watched on in terror, seeing it all unfold and realizing that my son... my precious Levi... was being used as nothing more than a shield for that vile monster. He knew Sam wouldn't make a move that would potentially harm our son and he knew Jacob wouldn't risk it either. This was exactly what he had hoped for.

The feel of two hands coming to rest on my shoulders had me back on my feet and turning around in a hurry, ready to attack anyone and anything. I soon learned my defensive stance wasn't needed.

Bella's eyes were wide with relief when they met mine.

"You're okay!" She breathed, pulling me into a tight hug. I returned her embrace and was more than thankful to see she was alright as well.

"Yes... Thanks to Emmett and Rosalie..."

Bella released me with a look of confusion on her face and I quickly explained.

"He helped me... they both did... Without it... I don't think I would've made it this far, Bella."

She nodded in understanding and pulled me into the woods, taking us further away from the fight. Her words to me quick and her tone determined when she spoke.

"Let's get your son back. We can do it, Emily ... We can get Levi away from that sick son of a bitch..._ together_."

Her eyes locked with mine, seeing the fierceness in them. I knew by her intense gaze... She already had a plan and I was more than willing to follow whatever that plan may be... Whatever got my son out of Aro's arms and back in the safety of mine ... where he belonged.


	66. Chapter 68

**A/N: Hello again everyone! :-) I hope all of you are well and that you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Again, I want to give a special and HUGE shout out of thanks to all those who have taken the time to read and review this story! I love reading them all and seeing your thoughts upon this story as it continues to develop. I genuinely appreciate the feedback and support :) You all are truly wonderful. So ... enough of my ramblings tonight and lets get on with our story... shall we? HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER SIXTY - SEVEN**

"True love is full of endless sacrifice. Some small... others larger in nature... but in the end... limitless sacrifice is what true love requires from you."

**(BPOV)**

I had begged Charlie to leave Jacobs house. Tried countless times to get him to go, but he still chose to be by my side instead as the battle began to unfold. I was wracked with fear over how this all would end, dreading greatly which way the_ pendulum would swing_.

Aro was vial and purely evil with his intent. He stood to lose nothing and seemingly gain all in this war. I wanted him destroyed and with everything in me ... I wanted that monster to be torn apart.

As I listened to the packs many snarls and alarming roars, I knew my time was up.

He wouldn't stop until he had me...

He would never leave this land alone...

He would haunt my every move...

He had the means and powers needed to ultimately destroy all that which defy him...

Could I stay inside this house and allow for this to continue? Knowing that he held such a precious child in his filthy grasp?

"Bella?" Charlie spoke from beside me, seeing my eyes glued now to the front door.

"I'm out of time." I stated in a vacant whisper as I took a step forward.

"No you're not. We wait here! We wait for Jacob and the pack to handle this monster... To handle all of them!"

"He will never quit. This is a game to him... in his demented mind... Killing those who mean the most to me, only adds more pleasure to my capture. I can't let him do that. He has Levi... He's just a baby, dad. He's... Emily and Sam's whole world... If he-"

"You don't know how this is gonna play out-" Charlie hastily interrupted.

I glanced up at him through my tear filled eyes, seeing he knew where my heart was already.

"Dad..."

"No... No Bella... No way... you listen to me-"

"I have to go. I love you and Jacob... and... mom and Phil... the pack ... all of you... too much to sit here and watch Aro take his vengeance out. If I go... If I offer myself up in a trade for Levi... He will leave them be and-"

"NO!" Charlie yelled, clutching my arm tightly.

"He will stop at nothing... He'll seek out mom and Phil next when he's done here ... kill them just for sport. They don't even know the truth! I can't let that happen!" I cried.

"Isabella Marie... I will not let you go out that front door-"

His words were cut short by the door itself swinging wide open. The both of us whipping our heads around to see a bloody and bruised Sue Clearwater in it's frame. She collapsed once inside, her body caving to the floor.

"Sue!" I gasped, feeling Charlie release me as we ran to her. Charlie hurriedly scooped her up in his arms and carried her into the kitchen. Her words coming out in short gasps to us.

"I tried... I tried..." She choked, blood spewing from her mouth as Charlie laid her on the floor and covered her with his Jacket.

"Sue... Sue... can you hear me?" I cried, looking over her body to see the several open wounds along her neck. I ran for Jake's bathroom, my hands shaking and now covered in her blood as I frantically searched for clean towels. I grabbed as many as I could and ran back to her, falling down next to her and trying to stop the bleeding by placing firm pressure over some of the wounds.

"There's so many... she's losing so much blood!" Charlie choked, trying to help me.

"Keep applying pressure!" I told him, as Sue's wide eyed gaze met mine.

"They... t-t-took ... h-him... from ... me." She whimpered. "I... I... c-couldn't... stop ... them..."

I shook my head and reassured her the best I could. "Shhh... it's not your fault, Sue. You did everything you could. You protected Levi in any way you knew how."

Her color was quickly fading now. I looked her over for any more wounds as she continued to gasp her words to me.

"Bella ... Tell my children ...t-that I love them and I'll always ... be w-with them."

"No ... No... Sue... you hang on, okay? You keep your eyes on mine and you fight to hold on... please..." I begged her, feeling the warmth of her blood touch my hands as it soaked through the several cloths.

"Promise m-me... you'll... tell them."

I reached for another cloth and stopped when her hand suddenly grasped mine.

"Please..." She pleaded with me.

"... I promise, Sue ... I promise." I cried to her, holding tightly to her hand as her eyes closed.

"Sue...?" Charlie huffed. "Sue... come on... don't go... don't leave... come back."

I felt her hand slip from mine as her breathing soon stopped and Charlie scooped her up in his arms. His words strained with raw emotion as he pled with her.

"Don't... don't leave... please don't go... No... Stay here with us."

I placed my head in my blood covered hands and began to sob as I thought of Leah and Seth. Leah had saved my life and I had just watched her only remaining parent... her loving mother... die before my very eyes.

Charlie began to full out sob as he held onto her. The sound of it gut wrenching for me to hear.

He held her lifeless body in his arms for minutes on end, his pleading with her seemed to be never ending as the time passed. I watched in despair as he soon laid her down on the floor again. Her blood now covering his shirt and hands.

"She was one of the best women I ever knew... always helping others... always there to care for you when you needed it most." He said, as he stood and crossed the room to embrace me. His hug tight and urgent. "You can't go out there, Bella. I can't lose you."

"If I stay here... with you... They will come for me and kill you!" I sobbed.

"Then so be it." He replied firmly to me.

I pulled back from his embrace, meeting his sincere gaze and knowing the truth behind it. I knew there was no convincing him otherwise.

I soon grabbed a blanket from Billy's room and draped it over Sue's body, covering her and placing a kiss on her forehead as I said my goodbyes to her.

Glass suddenly shattered and Charlie immediately hauled me to my feet, drawing out his gun and placing me behind him. "Stay behind me, Bella."

My hands clutched his arm as we stood frozen next to Sue's body in the kitchen. My heart pounding away and the thudded sound now echoing in my ears.

"Bella..." A familiar voice called out.

The tone of it possessing a soothing and nurturing quality as it came closer and closer.

I cautiously moved out around Charlie as Esme appeared to us. Her golden gaze going straight to Sue before meeting my own again.

"What the hell do you want? Huh?" Charlie barked out... "Cause if it's taking my daughter away from me-"

"No Charlie." Esme sighed, lifting her hands up in surrender to us. "I came here to_ help you_ ..."

"Why would you choose to help us now? Where's Carlisle?" I asked, my guard up and my instincts telling me to be careful. I was _not ready_ to trust her.

Esme's face clouded with immense sadness as she offered her reply. "Carlisle is gone, Bella. He's dead. I came here to help you because I want to make this right. What took place before... with my son... with Edward... it was wrong. All of it was wrong. He should have told you the truth from the beginning. It wasn't right to keep you from Jacob the way he did. It was dishonest and he should've never forced things. He manipulated the entire situation. It was very wrong for him to mislead you the way he did for so long and I am truly sorry. I understand that you may hate me for not trying to stop all of this madness sooner, but... hate me or not... I am your best shot at winning this war against Aro now. You_ need_ my aid ... My knowledge."

I took another small step toward her. "You're sorry?"

My hands shaking with anger as I glanced down towards Sue.

"You could have stopped this yourself, Esme." I coldly bit back. "Or at least tried to. Why would I trust you? Give me one good reason?"

"Because unlike Jacob and the pack... I have absolutely nothing left to lose. My only remaining son and daughter are out there as we speak, fighting against the enemy. One that is more than powerful enough to destroy them entirely. They look at my loyalty to Carlisle as a sure abandonment to them. They hold no more respect for me now. I have essentially lost my entire family... So tell me, Bella... what is it that I have left to lose here?"

"You could still be working for Aro...-"

"I have no desire to live such a limited, monstrous and enslaved existence. I'd rather not exist at all than to serve such a master as himself. He seeks to only kill and destroy. That is not what we stood for in the beginning, Bella. Please try to think back for just a moment and remember how things were with our family. Despite your deserving and warranted hatred for my son... For all he has caused and all his selfishness has put you through ... There was a time when you looked at us all as your own family... Do you think that we truly stood for such monstrous living back then?"

I pondered her words as Charlie took a step closer to me, his eyes fixed upon Esme. Though my guard remained up, I knew she_ did have_ a point with her statement. The Cullen's had stood for just and meaningful living at one time, and while I loathed Edward for what his actions had set in motion, I did know that Esme was true in nature.

"No... I don't. But if what you're saying is true... You came here with a divine purpose then ... a plan?"

"Yes." She admitted.

"Then tell me..."

She stepped closer to me then, her eyes narrowing when she glanced toward Charlie, who's hand lingered on my arm in a protective manor.

"I no longer want to exist without my family. There is nothing left worth existing for. When Carlisle first began our coven... he always said that living with the ones you care for does good for the soul he believed we had lost. I had grown to share this sentiment and now... it is no more."

"Your intent is to be destroyed?" I questioned.

"Yes."

"Tell me your plan, Esme." I demanded.

"If you insist..." she sighed... " It is certainly knowledge that you need, Bella. Before Alice was destroyed... She shared with me a distinct vision she had. One that shocked her both in_ clarity and in description_... A vision that she said would_ change everything_ if it were to continue on it's course of direction."

I took another few steps toward her, intently listening to her every carefully spoken word.

"... Change everything?... Change it how?"

"You would be a valuable asset to Aro and his coven in Italy. For you posses gifts that he has sought after for years and years. These gifts would be of great use to him."

I glanced back toward Charlie, seeing his eyes grow nearly as wide as my own upon hearing her words now.

"Gifts... What-" I began.

"You surely_ do not know_ your own worth in this, Bella. Edward knew of your exquisite talent and he craved to have you all the more because of it. But in the end, he also knew you were never his to claim. Never to truly be his own. He tried to do so through means of creative manipulation and look at all the harm it caused. I am sorry for the loss of your safe and commonplace life. I should have tried to prevent this sooner, but nonetheless, here we are now and you have more control than you know."

Without warning, Esme suddenly moved herself closer to me, her hands of snow coming to touch my face in a cradling gesture. The move had stunned me and I found myself jumping back in defense.

"Bella..." She cooed. "You are like a daughter to me. That has not changed and I know that the feelings of endearment may no longer be reciprocated, but it is how I still feel for you."

Her soft smile was just as bright as it had ever been and she appeared genuine with her gesture.

"I'm listening..."

Her striking golden gaze was earnest as she replied to me. "You love Jacob? Do you not?"

"Yes..." I breathed... "Very much."

She smiled warmly to me again and nodded her understanding as her hands reached out for me.

"You hold the_ key_, Bella... You posses the_ fervent hope_ needed." She sighed. Her words wrapped in velvet when she spoke them and her small hands now coming to rest on my_ stomach_. "For you carry_ within you new life_ ..._ You carry the Alpha's child, Bella."_

I stared at her in disbelief as she glanced down to where her hands lay at rest. The look of concentration on her face being prominently there for me to witness. I couldn't speak... I had lost the ability to do so in this moment. There were no words I could formulate to her.

Charlie was the one who voiced his thoughts aloud now.

"What... She's... She's p-preg... pregnant..." He stammered, moving himself out around me so he could see my face. "But... I... I mean... how-... what-... I don't-... are you saying_ you think_ she is... or _you know_ she is?"

I didn't take my eyes from Esme's face as she replied to him. Her words ringing clear to me.

"I am _certain_ she is carrying _the Alpha's child_."

"How?" Charlie choked out to her in question.

"Our kind come with many special powers, Charlie ... greater abilities, if you will. I can hear the heartbeat of the child she carries. Even at such an early stage in the pregnancy. It is a divine gift, really."

Charlie went as white as a sheet and leaned against the wall as his shocked gaze met my own. "Bella...?"

I slowly raised my hands and placed them where Esme's had just been. The realization sinking into me with heavy weight now as I tried like hell to make sense of this.

I was pregnant with Jacob's baby. I had life inside me... a life that we had created together...

"You're clearly surprised by this?" Esme asked.

I could only nod to her, all words still escaping me.

"You didn't know?" Charlie soon asked himself in a nervous tone.

I thought back to the last cycle I had, trying to do a mental count in my head. As I did this, it became clear to me that in all the chaos lately, I not only had forgotten to take my Birth control, but I had indeed missed a whole period last month.

"Alice... She saw you carrying the Alpha's child in her vision and she shared this with Carlisle and I."

I gasped aloud then. My reply but a whisper to her. "When?"

"Months ago, Bella."

I shook my head in disbelief, my hands still remaining on my stomach as I glanced toward my father, who looked just as pale as before.

"I'm gonna be... a ... grandpa." He breathed in disbelief.

"That you are, Charlie." Esme replied with a smile.

I suddenly found my voice as I thought of Aro again. The momentary shock now fading back into terror.

"Tell me what this changes, Esme!" I said to her in urgency.

"Everything, Bella. It changes everything."

I took a deep, steadying breath as I thought of Jacob. For in an instant .. Everything had changed ... My whole world held a divine new purpose ... My life had taken on new meaning.


	67. Chapter 69

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/ character belongs to the wonderful Stephanie Meyers. She owns all. I sadly, do not.

**A/N: Hey guys! :) I hope you enjoy this chapter. I will be working hard to write the next chapter tomorrow and if all goes well, I will post it in the evening. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and as always, HAPPY READING EVERYONE.  
**

**CHAPTER SIXTY - EIGHT**

**(BPOV)**

My mother had often told me about how excited she was when she learned she was pregnant with me. It was a story she shared with me over a warm cup of tea on the sleepless nights that my mind would be over active and take yet another dreaded trip down memory lane. I was grateful for my moms night owl habits during that time in Jacksonville. She had always been there to talk to me. I missed those talks, now more than ever.

Charlie had been silent since Esme had spoke last. His face still a mask of numb shock as he stared aimlessly ahead of him.

"Dad...?" I asked.

No reply from him was given at first, his gaze still vacant and making me think he hadn't even heard me.

"Dad?" I asked again, raising my voice a little.

He turned and glanced my way in acknowledgment with a nod.

"Are you... alright?"

He sucked in a long breath and placed his gun back in its holster with a shrug.

"Just uh... a bit... surprised I guess. I mean, I knew you wanted a family of your own one day, I just didn't think today would be the day where I'd find out you had already started one..."

Esme turned herself suddenly and her stature changed to rigid form.

"We're running out of time... Rapidly." She soon hissed.

"What!" Charlie yelled.

"We need to move... and now..." She replied, quickly taking me by the arm and heading for the front door. Charlie's loud yelling quickly stopped her efforts.

"You're NOT taking her out there into this war!"

"We have no choice!" Esme yelled back to him. "If we don't get her to the pack soon-"

"It's too dangerous!"

"She will surely die if we stay here! More of them are coming, Charlie! Way more..."

I froze where I stood, feeling the fears choke hold on me. "More?... How many..."

"Dozens of them, Bella."

"Would that outnumber Jacob and the pack?" Charlie asked.

"Outnumber ... yes... Aro told his entire plan to Carlisle. I have heard it all... I know what he has set out to do."

Charlie's eyes grew wide with realization. The look of horror in them evident.

"That demon plans to slaughter all of them, doesn't he? He plans to kill everyone in La'push and take Bella?"

Esme nodded to him. "He has no intention of leaving any wolf or human alive when he leaves here. The Land will run red with his revenge."

I bolted to the front door then, leaving my father scrambling in a mad rush behind me as Esme followed suit. She kept her speed at a human pace for our sake as we cut through the darkened woods. Her eyes glowing as they searched in every which direction for anything that twitched.

"Stay close to me... the both of you." She commanded.

We did what she said without question and heard the several howls coming from the pack, each one loud and alarming. Our journey to them was more difficult for me than I had anticipated. The bitter cold and the newly fallen snow, slowing us down and chilling me to the bone.

By the time we made it within seeing distance of the battle, I was nearly frozen. Charlie wrapped an arm around me in an attempt to ward off the harsh cold. The wind began to blow furiously as we got closer and it was then that I saw Esme suddenly stop ahead of us. Her statuesque form coming to a stand still as she turned to address us.

"Emmet has been here... recently... His scent is still strong in the air around us. It is mixed with human.. Emily... They can't be f-"

She stopped and whipped her head up toward the trees now swaying hastily in the wind, her golden gaze wide as she shrieked to us.

"RUN!"

A shadowed figure suddenly swooped down from the tree tops then, attacking Esme and pining her to the snow covered ground. Charlie and I began to run away from them and toward the sound of the battle. I was beyond terrified, but more than that, I was beyond determined to get to the pack before Aro and his lethal army got to me.

I stumbled as we tried to continue on and felt a pair of stone arms catch me with cat like reflexes, before I could hit the frozen ground below.

Esme's words were quick and instructive when she spoke them to me. "I can only fight the others off for so long. I've already destroyed two, but many more are coming. Run Bella... Run as fast as you can and don't look back. If I become outnumbered and they kill me, they will come for you and they will do what Aro has instructed them to. They never terry from an order given by their master. GO NOW!"

I felt Charlie take my hand and help place me back on my feet. "Come on, Bella... we can make it... We have to."

I ran ... and ran ... and ran. The sound of the battle echoing out around us and the dark forest seeming to be never ending. I was frozen and my body tired as we rounded another bend. The snow causing me to soon slip again. I landed and felt the wind get knocked out of me temporarily. Time standing still now, as I struggled to get my bearings. I was running on fumes as I gasped for air, feeling Charlie now frantically trying to help me up.

"... Bella... we have to keep going... Come on... I've got you."

I could hardly focus on his voice as I staggered back up. It wasn't without great effort and help from Charlie for me to begin to run again.

We had gotten no more than a few more strides forward when a shadow of movement caught my attention off to the left. I knew what was coming before it happened and shoved Charlie out of the way mere moments before a firm hand caught me by the throat.

"Bella!" I heard Charlie yell as the eyes of crimson red peered through mine. I struggled against the vampires grasp as he slammed me against a near by tree. His hiss loud and menacing.

"Well, what do we have here... Bella, is it?"

Before he could hiss anything further to me, Charlie did the unthinkable... he offered himself in my place to my absolute horror.

"Take me!" He yelled, causing the Vampire to look his way.

"I'll go in her place. Kill me... not her... not my daughter."

I was suddenly released and hit the ground as the air filled my body again. My head whipping up to see him stalk toward my father.

"NO!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet.

"Stay there, Bella." Charlie said. His eyes on mine with a sense of clam in them.

"Dad..." I cried, feeling my heart begin to shatter as the vampire further approached him.

"A ... sacrifice?" He hissed.

No answer was given from either of us as Esme slammed directly into him. Her hit powerful and her violent attack on him, lethal enough to be his demise as she severed his head from his marble and stone like body. She tossed it into the woods and hurriedly lit the remains on fire with a lighter she retrieved from her pocket. Her movements being faster than my human eyes could follow.

I ran into Charlie's awaiting arms as she ushered us hurriedly along.

"Emily is very close by. I can smell her... You need to get to her."

I steadily continued on with the help of Charlie's aid and Esme's keen senses close behind. When I was close enough to see Emily, I began to find the new hope I needed to get to her.

"Bella..." Esme sighed, gripping my shoulders as she spoke and the moon lights glow now shining down upon us. "Alice's vision... she warned me of what she had seen... told Carlisle and I of the clarity it revealed to her. She saw the much blood shed here in this battle with Aro and she saw Jacob become that which is within him. She expressed heartache ... the heartache felt over the loss of those who could not be saved or spared from this battle... and the heartache of what it may bring forth in the Alpha... But she was instructive to me to be sure that you knew to fear not... for in the end... she saw you overcome it. Despite everything that has led us here... I want you to know I am truly happy that you have found your way back to the one you always belonged to. You're braver than you think and wiser than you know. You can make it to Emily. I will do everything I can to keep the others at bay until you reach her. Time is everything, Bella. You have to get to her as fast as you can. I can hear Emmet and Rosalie in their own battles with Aro's army and their beginning to weaken. Charlie needs to stay here with me. It is the only way to keep him as safe as we can. Please don't worry... I promise to look after him."

I felt my eyes sting with tears as her words sunk in. For I knew what Alice's vision meant... This battle would bring out that which Jacob fought to contain. It would evoke a power that may consume him entirely and swallow the man whole.

Charlie suddenly took hold of me and wrapped me up in a tight hug.

"I have faith in you, Bella. You're strong... just like your mom."

I fought back the tears as I hugged him tightly back. "I think I get that from you..."

He placed a kiss on my forehead and I saw his tears spill over with his reply. "Maybe... Just maybe, kiddo."

"You must go now, Bella." Esme urgently whispered.

I was quick then to sprint and heard the hissing from behind me as Esme fought with more of Aro's army. Thought I was fast, the frozen ground and darkness worked against me still, and as I was nearly in yelling distance to Emily, I began to stumble, feeling my legs go nearly numb from the cold. as I tried to get back up, I heard the sound of thundering paws coming towards me. I glanced up to see the familiar wolf form of Seth now fast approaching, his muzzle coming to nudge against me once he reached me. I took hold of him for support and heard his low growl as another enemy approached. His stance changed entirely as he placed me behind him and took on the challenge. The vampire was fast to try and strike him, but Seth roared furiously and caught his granite stone arm in his powerful jaws. He ripped it clean off and went in for the kill. Within moments, the vampire's body lay headless and Seth was quick to finishing ripping him to pieces. He stepped toward me and I knew in that moment it was my chance to get to Jacob. Their linked minds being my only means of direct communication at this time.

Seth whined a few times as he sniffed me over and I quickly took hold of him by the fur of his neck. Making sure he heard me when I spoke.

"Seth... I'm okay ... Listen to me ... I need you to get to Jacob ... To tell him something for me?"

Seth huffed loudly and nudged into me for his reply.

"... I... I'm Pregnant..."

Seth stepped back from me immediately then. His ears perking up as his wolf gaze drank me in. Almost as if he was taking a mental photograph for Jacob to see in that moment. I watched his gaze wander down to my stomach as he huffed and then crouched down in a gesture for me to climb on his back. While I was still half frozen from the bitter cold, I shakily climbed on anyway, knowing he knew what was best right now and that it would get me to Emily that much faster.

"I have to get to Emily, Seth... please." I shivered, feeling him soon take off like a rocket, weaving his way in and around the many trees with perfect agility and speed.

When he stopped a short ways from Emily. I felt his form go rigid as he searched high and low for any approaching threat, before lowering himself down so I could climb off. I quickly hugged his massive wolf form and thanked him as I discretely approached Emily.

Seth lingered for only a moment before I waved him on and saw him dart hastily out of sight.

Within mere moments of his departure, I heard the sound of a mighty howl that bellowed up into the sky and spread out over every inch of the surrounding forest. I stopped where I was for the briefest of moments as the authority of it washed over me.

Jacob...


	68. Chapter 70

**A/N: Okay guys, so this chapter took some time for me and without the helpful music from Florence &amp; The Machine, I don't know I would of made it through it, lol. The new song from them... "How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful...", was the push behind this chapter I needed. Well, maybe that and a little Three Days Grace, too, but hey... Whatever it takes, right? :-)  
**

**CHAPTER SIXTY - NINE**

**(JPOV)**

I could sense the Alpha's reign of power starting to take firm hold of me. It's raw and undiluted fury beginning to spread out. I welcomed it's wrath with open arms.

That red eyed, blood thirsty demon, held onto the very thing my former leader and his wife lived and breathed for and I would be damned if a single hair on Levi's head was touched in harm by him.

When Aro turned his head to give another deadly order to his many disciples, I went in for the kill. My command filtering out loudly to the others.

_"Kill them all! Destroy EVERY last one of them."  
_

Paul saw me move fast toward Aro and followed suit without the need for command. He lunged for his shoulder and Aro back handed him with great force. It sent him flying high through the air, only to land and immediately get back up with a viscous roar. I made contact with Aro's granite leg. My powerful teeth effectively tearing it off from the shin below. He fell to the ground and Paul rushed in to snatch Levi from his grasp. His move was quick enough to be successful in the recapture of him.

_"I've got him, Jake. I'm taking him straight to Emily."_ Paul huffed as he bolted toward the woods.

I heard him just as Aro landed a blow to my side. Ribs snapping like fucking twigs from the force of it within me.

I felt no pain... none. The fury for them all had caused me to become utterly numb to it... at least for the time being. What I would feel from it later would be an altogether different story.

For now, I chose to let the fury sink into my veins and mask whatever pain may come, it's numbing affects, ten times stronger than any syringe of lidocaine could ever offer.

"I'm going to kill you and when I'm done, I will take Bella from this Land and make her mine... entirely mine." Aro hissed. "You can't win against me you stupid dog!"

I roared as something suddenly jumped on my back and vice like arms tried to encircle me. I shook furiously to rid the leech, sending him flying over the top of us. He never got the chance to land in one piece. I separated his head from his body before any granite part of him touched the ground below.

Aro was suddenly back on his feet, the detached half of his left leg having been woven back together in a moments notice.

Fuck...

He came at me and I ran full tilt for him, soon colliding mid air and wrestling to the ground in a fight. His hissing frantic as I firmly pinned him under me with my paws.

"Haven't you learned by now..." He shouted with hatred to me. "I will always get that which is mine. Even if you destroy me, I have created this army for one purpose and one purpose alone... To take beloved Bella away to Italy!"

I seethed in enraged fucking fury from his words. Each one he hissed, dousing me in a fire that threatened to consume me. The beast roared wildly from within. It's aggression now rapidly becoming more than the mere man I was could contain. For though I knew the risk of unleashing him in this war, if it came down to it, I would deal with whatever consequence came to me from the choice. I'd pay the heavy toll later. Aro had no idea the kind of fury that would claim me if I gave in to its authority.

I roared with power and felt him try to kick me backwards, the blow cracking bones and only pissing me the fuck off all the more. He struggled to get free from under me and I coiled, as raw rage settled itself over me. My muzzle soon tore into his stone flesh, ripping him apart in feral fashion. His crimson eyes grew wide when he screamed out.

"Killing me won't save h-!"

I tore into more of him, hearing his words cut off as my powerful jaws clamped down around the entirety of his neck. I shook my head furiously back and forth, until I felt the stone flesh give way and crack as I tore his head from his body.

I dropped the offending appendage to the ground beneath my paws and pulled every ounce of strength I had forth, so I could phase back to human form and light that sick and twisted fuck on fire. No more would he reign Voltera, or anything else for that matter.

I was soon back on two legs and pulled the lighter from the pocket of my shorts, kneeling down to lift his long haired head in my hands. I lit every inch of him, every damn separated piece of him, on fire and watched with thrill and amusement as his remains began to billow up in the choking purple smoke that filled the air.

My final words to him coming moments before I phased back to rush to the aid of my pack, who was now in a fight with his many followers to the death.

**"You fucked with the wrong Alpha. This is my land and Bella will never belong to you."** I spat his way, seeing the thick smoke grow higher and higher as I phased back to wolf form and ran full speed into the battle.

I came to my first red eyed leech within seconds as he charged at me with screaming rage and venom soaked fangs fully exposed. I was quick to disable him by catching his stone arm in my muzzle and ripping it off before tearing the rest of him to shreds.

Emmett Cullen suddenly appeared by my side then as another red eyed leech headed our way. Emmet caught the menace by the throat and forced him to the ground, tearing both of his arms off in one quick and powerful snap of his wrists. He met my gaze and his words were few but sincere nonetheless.

"Team mates?... End this together?" He offered.

I huffed and nodded to him in reply as we both took off running further into the battle that raged on. I would've normally denied such a request, especially one that came from a Cullen, but in this instance, there was _absolutely no place_ for my pride. As the true saying that my father often repeated always went... 'Pride comes before a fall.'

I couldn't afford any slip ups or a fall right now, so an alliance we would make ... for the time being, anyway.

I sprinted toward Jared, Paul, Quil and Leah, who were being surrounded by at least ten additional vamps. Their thoughts unsettling as I tuned into them.

_"There's more of these fuckers coming from the West. We're not winning in numbers here... not by a long shot." Leah yelled._

_"We're still gonna kick ass..." Paul replied to her confidently._

_"We don't quit till none of them remains!" Quil added... "Whatever the cost... we end this shit... here and now."_

_"They heavily outnumber us!" Jared shouted. "We'll end up being lambs for the slaughter if we're not careful."_

I took in my surroundings and did a mental check on who in the pack was where. I accounted for everyone ... but one wolf ... Seth.

My wolf gaze searched thoroughly again but came up with the same end result. I was missing a wolf. Where the hell was Seth? Even the elders were all accounted for and holding their own.

My thoughts were interrupted as I caught sight of Sam fighting two of the red eyed leeches on his own. I ran for him and knocked into the one who had tried to crush him from behind. The powerful force of my hit, breaking his hold on Sam as I hastily locked my jaws around his neck. Before a single hiss from the demon could be made, I had his head clutched in my muzzle.

Sam phased to human form and lit the two we had destroyed on fire, only further adding to the choking purple smoke in the air around us. Sam phased back, linking his thoughts with my own and asking me the one question I had no damn answer for.

_"Where the hell is Seth?"_ He shouted to me, turning his head in every which direction as we searched for him together.

_"I don't know... he's the only one unaccounted for."_

_"He wouldn't just go off solo here ... not at a time like this ... he knows better than that. Something drew him away ... had to of been damn important for him to stray."_

I huffed aloud in agreement and felt the unease of his missing presence weigh heavily upon me, for I knew Sam's point was valid. Seth was smarter than that, and more thorough these days. The older he got, the more dedicated to the pack he became. He was one of my solids. This move wasn't like him.

Sam and I ran back to help Paul finish off three more of Aro's army, the numbers on their end now dwindling down in a hurry as we ripped apart whatever red eyed leech we came across.

We were gaining the upper hand in this battle and the enemy's leader was now nothing more than cindering fucking ash. Aro was finally exactly where he belonged.

Sam and Leah had now joined forces to take on a particularly large leech. His size reminding me of Emmet's and his skills seeming to be more developed than that of the others. He struck Leah hard as she lunged for him. The hit causing a whine to slip from her as she landed in front of Sam, who was quick to react. His roar deafening and lethal as he stood protectively in front of Leah. She struggled to get back up and the leech took a swing for Sam, connecting with his muzzle before Leah found her bearings and went in for the kill, but he saw her move coming before she had made it and quickly switched his defending position, so he was now behind Leah. He wrapped his arms around her and I heard her agonizing scream through my mind as he crushed the left side of her body before Sam ripped him off her with his teeth. He drug the parasite backwards as Leah phased instantly back to human form, her naked body curling up in the fetal position on the snow covered ground as she screamed in agony. I bolted for her, taking out another leech along the way and Seeing Emmet cover my back as I went for her. By the time I reached her, Sam had shredded the leeches flesh with his razor sharp teeth, like a knife going through butter. He tore him apart with a tangible fury and was back on two legs, lighting the rest of the leech on fire in no time.

It was then that I heard Emmet's frantic yelling. "Jacob! On your left!"

I turned to see them come from seemingly out of nowhere. A group of newborns with eyes a shade of bright crimson. I saw them attack Emmet first, surrounding him in a frenzy. Rosalie's scream was full of hatred as she flew to his aid, ripping two of them apart with her bare hands.

I stood over Leah as Sam phased back and quickly took my place.

_"Stay with her. She's in no condition to defend herself. When the coast is clear, take her to your place._"

"_Where the fuck did they come from?_" Sam yelled, looking ahead.

I was fast to get to Emmet and Rosalie as they tried to fight them off. I lunged for them, catching one mid air and ripping his throat clean out before I landed back on solid ground with a roar of hatred for them.

My order to Jared and Quil, who soon came to our aid, was quick and laced with authority.

"_Go straight to Sam. Be sure he's guarded enough to get Leah out of here. Kill anything that comes near them_!"

"_Got it_." Quil shouted in reply as they took off in Sam's direction.

Rosalie was now struggling to keep the upper hand on one of the smaller female leeches who had jumped on her back while she was finishing off another. Emmet, being consumed in killing the one currently in his mighty grasp, could be of no help to her. I lunged and sunk my teeth into the leeches shoulder, ripping her off Rosalie, who spun rapidly around and quickly beheaded the screaming newborn vamp I had forced to the ground.

Rosalie lit her remains on fire and watched the flame grow high with pride as her golden gaze met mine.

"Thank you, Jacob... Really."

I heard that her words of usual snark and sarcasm were now sincere, and I huffed my acknowledgment to her as Emmet flew to her side.

"That was close... too close." He said, as he looked to me.

"I owe ya."

I looked around to see Sam now carrying Leah towards the woods. Her naked form pressed tightly to him.

Jared and Quil did as I asked, their eyes watchful upon the few vampires remaining. Paul was in a furious fight with one and Collin was struggling with another.

I took off to help Collin first, knowing Paul could handle himself better and not wanting the leech to get the upper hand on one of our youngsters. I attacked the blood sucking demon from behind, catching him entirely off guard and hauling him backwards as Collin lunged in for the deadly strike. He tore his throat out and tossed the head my way. I caught in my my muzzle and ran to throw it into one of the many smoke billowing piles that blazed high all around us.

Suddenly, Seth's voice cut in through my thoughts. His abrupt phase in, unexpected as I saw the elders head our way. Each one of them carrying a different appendage in their muzzle. They tossed them into the closest fire they came to and ran to help Jared and Quil stand Guard.

_"Where the hell have you been?"_ I snarled at Seth._ "You took off without warning. I never gave you an order to go on your own. The plan was to stick together! You best have a damn good reason for-"_

_"I do."_ He interjected.

I knew my tone was harsher with him than usual, but I had been concerned for his well being when his whereabouts had suddenly become unknown. He knew better than to take off without alerting me to his whereabouts. It was a known rule among the pack that went without saying.

Seth soon came into view and was running fast to me when a new movement caught my attention. I ran toward Seth and let out a snarl as I recognized the figure that had rapidly emerged from the trees.

Rosalie and Emmet were suddenly next to me, their eyes wide as they spoke.

"Esme..." Rosalie hissed in anger.

"Why are you here?" Emmet asked, placing Rosalie protectively behind him.

Seth soon came to stand next to Esme, each of them sharing a wide eyed look that had me instantly reeling.

"Esme?" Rosalie hissed again in frustration.

Esme took a few cautionary steps toward me, her wide eyes revealing her fear to me as she spoke.

"This battle is not over... You may have killed Aro... and destroyed the many he created... but I fear this is only the beginning."

I snarled at her words, huffing as she met my gaze.

"What are you saying Esme!" Emmet yelled.

She whipped her head back toward from the forest ... from where she had just emerged ... looking to be almost frightened.

"More are coming, Jacob... So much more ... he has created close to a hundred more of them ... all of them newborns. Aro set out with the intention for your land to run red with his vengeance. I fought off some of them on my journey here... with Bella and Charlie."

Her words now hit my system like poison.

"Hundreds of them... that can't be..." Rosalie replied in a vacant tone. "We're not enough... there's not enough of us... "

"_Bella and Charlie are out there?!_ _She can't be telling the truth, Jake... She can't be! We're without Sam and Leah right now..."_ Quil huffed.

_"The leech is lying!_" Paul barked._ "She has to be. This has to be part of some other demented scheme she's fulfilling for Carlisle."_

"I'm telling you nothing but the truth. You have to believe me. They are coming, Jake... Now." Esme yelled.

Emmet glanced my way as I felt the poison from her words begin to spread through me.

What purpose would she have for telling such a lie? It would serve her nothing to fabricate something like this. I stepped toward her, not taking my eyes from hers as Seth's thoughts cut in through the much chatter going on inside the packs linked mind.

"_She's telling the truth. I helped her destroy some of them... just like she said. That's why I wasn't here for the rest of the battle."_

_"Where is Bella and Charlie?"_ I asked Seth, my tone lethal.

_"They are safe. I made sure of it, Jacob. She and Charlie are with Emily and Levi, back at Sam's house. I would have been here sooner, but I came across the newborns when I was headed back. I knew they needed my help. Bella and Charlie were with Esme and she couldn't defend them by herself. There were too many. I'm sorry I didn't-"_

_"You don't owe me anything, Seth."_ I interjected._ "I'm the one who owes you. Without you... Bella and Charlie wouldn't have made it back to Sam's with Emily and the baby. I'm sorry I took the tone with you I did, before. Thank you for doing what you did, for going back and protecting them."_

He huffed and Esme turned to me with alarm.

"I will stay and help you fight them. I understand our differences, but as I explained to Bella earlier, all I want now is to make this right. We don't have much time, Jacob. They are coming... fast."

My mind began to swarm with the thought of Sam now being the only lone wolf to protect his wife and son... and Bella and Charlie... no... if any of the newborns should stray from their intended course and head for Bella... I wanted more than just Sam there.

My commands were well thought out but quick as I yelled them through the pack.

"_Jared, Paul, and Quil..._" I huffed, seeing them all stand in attention, their ears perked up and ready to receive my command. _"Go to Sam's. He's there by himself to stand guard. With Leah being injured, she cannot help him if they should fall under attack. I want that house covered. Every surrounding acre of it. If anything shows up... rip it apart... and burn the pieces. Understood?"_

_"Absolutely."_ Quil huffed in reply.

_"Won't that leave you shorter handed here?"_ Paul barked in concern to me.

_"I need you at Sam's right now... more than I need you here. I have no fucking way of knowing what Aro's instructions were to the newborns before I destroyed him. I'm not willing to take the chance. If even a handful of them were bred specifically to seek out Bella... her scent... I want us to be ready for it. That why I'm sending you. I know there can't be absolutes here..."_

_"Understood, Jake."_ Paul huffed.

_"Go... Now."_ I commanded, seeing them turn and take off for the forest.

I took a few steadying breaths and calmed the anger still raging within me, just long enough to be able to phase back to human form. I needed to be able to effectively communicate with Esme, Emmett and Rosalie. They were now essential at conquering the next battle.

I soon stood on two legs, being entirely naked in front of them, and not giving a fuck who it may offend or make uncomfortable. My sudden and indecent exposure, was the last thing on my mind right now. We had much larger problems ahead.

"Tell me everything you know about these newborns. Every damn detail, Esme." I snapped.

"All I know is what I was told by Carlisle, before he died. He had informed me of Aro's plan. How his vengeance would be sought in any form necessary. He explained that Aro often boasted about the sweet richness his revenge would bring him. Jacob... He had every intention of slaughtering this land and taking Bella for his own."

A low growl slipped from my lips, even in human form, I couldn't control it.

Esme lowered her head in shame and continued... "He had plans for her and was certain you and the pack, would be of no match for him and his army. He created them for this purpose alone. I do not know if he chose a few selected members to be seekers of Bella. If he did... they will stop at nothing to find her. They are hard wired to do as instructed by their master ... created for accomplishing one purpose. If that is the purpose he intended for them, he will have surely taken the time to prepare them and they will try to kill whatever stands in the way of it."

"We've fought their kind before... it's not their strength and abilities that concern me... its the numbers. The scale is now heavily tipped in their favor and I have been left with no choice but to split the pack up the way I have. Sam cannot defend that house by himself. He will need the extra help."

Esme stepped forward and reached her hand out to touch my arm. "I will not pretend to know the outcome of this, I do not have that ability, but I have had the privilege of hearing what Alice's visions were before her untimely demise."

I stared back at her in confusion.

"Alice had trouble seeing around our kind..." I soon replied.

"True... but she was somehow able to have a clear vision. This vision she told me before... It is part of the reason why I came back to help. The actions of my son is what set this all in motion to begin with. Aro knew how to pull Carlisle into his plan... preying upon his overwhelming grief and it turned into a monster. The Carlisle who began our family, would have never done this."

She then turned toward Seth and stepped back away from me. I followed her gaze and saw Seth huff profusely in agitation. I could see his frustration from not being able to communicate with me.

I turned back to Esme, seeing her eyes still haunted. "Carlisle saved my life before... and I always held some kind of reverence to him for that act of kindness. For his selflessness when he helped me."

"I know... I am truly sorry for all this, but you have my word, I will fight with you to end the battle Aro set in motion."

I nodded and heard Emmett's booming voice come from beside me. "We haven't taken on that many newborns since Victoria came after Bella."

"I think we've retained enough knowledge from that fight..." Rosalie noted. "... but we are outnumbered."

"Numbers aren't everything..." Esme added, her eyes going back to me. "Remember... newborns are strong, yes... undeniably... but their skills are still new and their minds are often clouded by the immense blood lust they posses."

I stepped away from them and phased back to wolf form, seeing the packs eyes upon me for leadership as I landed back on all fours.

_"We fight... till the end... till we can't anymore. We leave no brother behind."_ I huffed to the pack, feeling the fire that began to spread through me as we all caught the sickening scent of leech that came blowing in from a new direction.

They were getting close...

Seth approached me with haste, his gaze full of something I couldn't place.

"Jake... will Leah be alright?"

"Yeah... Your sister is strong, Seth. She's a fighter and she's in good hands at Sam's."

He huffed and looked toward Esme before returning his gaze to me.

"I told Bella... Promised her ... that I would give you a message... "

I stepped closer to him, sensing something new in his tone, Something that had my full attention.

"What message?" I quickly replied, smelling the scent of the approaching newborn army grow to a new acidic and stomach churning potency.

He glanced back at the woods as he caught the sickening scent of them himself, letting out a snarl as he whipped his head back around to me.

"She made me promise to tell you...-  
A loud roar from some of the elders cut off his thought. Drawing his attention to them as they grew unruly from the army's impending approach.

"You promised Bella you'd tell me what, Seth... what is it!?" I huffed impatiently, my wolf gaze scanning the bordering length of the tree's and waiting for the sight of them to be revealed there at any moment.

Seth raised his head and looked me square in the eyes, his mind opening up to me fully as he revealed to me exactly what she made him promise to tell.

I instantly saw her there in his mind, a clear sight of Bella as Seth fulfilled his promise to her.

"Bella's pregnant, Jacob ... She's carrying your child ..."

I looked at him in disbelief just as the pack began to seethe from the impending threat we were about to fight. My head filled with the images of what his words brought forth. A clear picture played out before me of Bella telling me this news herself, the look on her face and the love in her eyes when she said it... Her smile bright. The picture was so vivid to me that I felt as if I could reach out and touch all it beheld with my bare hands.

My Bells... pregnant... Carrying my child...

The moment of bliss and joy I felt was savagely ripped away from me when the reality of the situation sunk in.

We were all about to be submerged in a fight with the blood hungry enemy and it was a fight we_ had_ to win.

The words echoed through my mind again as a heated fire that scorched with untamed fury, ripped it's way through me and began to tear me up from the inside out.

Bella's pregnant...

I had everything I ever wanted ... everything I ever dreamed of with the very woman I longed to have it with all along ...

And ninety plus blood craving and carnage seeking newborns charging straight for us any moment ...

I could suddenly feel a rapid shift occur within me, the power of it forcing me to bow visibly in wolf form to an invisible and undeniable force. A force not seen but felt from within me. It was a sensation unlike anything I had felt prior ... the war I had faced with the inner beast before, failed miserably in comparison now, as I struggled under the weight of it. Making me visibly lower myself down to the cold ground as the heat within me scorched higher and higher.

Esme appeared in front of me then, sinking down on her knees by my side. Her words solidifying for me what I already knew was now beginning to take place.

"Don't fight the submission, Jacob. In the end... it will be what saves your entire world... your land... your pack... Bella... and your unborn child."

I heard from somewhere off in the distance a snarl as Embry approached Esme. His teeth barred to her as she rose to her feet.

_"You may lose yourself to that power entirely. She doesn't know what she's asking you to surrender to, Jacob."_

I heard him, but my mind was overtaken with the image of Bella and all I stood lose in this fast approaching battle.

Esme raised her hands in caution as she addressed him. "I've heard the risks involved with this are great. But I have confidence Jacob will be able to find his way back... with Bella's help. She is his anchor. All of you know better than anyone the powerful impact an imprint can have."

The pack huffed and became more agitated, alerting me of how rapidly our time was running out. The force upon me pushed harder down and I felt my nose touch the ground as I shook with new tremors. Ones that rocked through me with painful ferocity.

"You can find your way back, Jacob..." Esme whispered beside me. Her words coming as a rare and unexpected source of comfort to me now. "Think of Bella and remember the imprints power... for it will be what brings the man in you back."

My time of choice making disappeared as a loud roar filtered through the pack and Emmet cussed aloud.

I felt the pressure building within me as I let the weight of the inner beasts commanding dominance, crush into me fully. I no longer held any resistance. I gave it all to him in this moment, caving in on myself. For it was my only choice.

My body shifted rapidly to make the needed room for his overtaking authority. I screamed out in pure agony as the beast took reign of the man, hearing the many shouts of concern from the pack echo inside my mind as I struggled to keep my paws on solid ground. I took the pain on, clinging to the image of Bella for dear life and focusing on all who needed me now.

We were set up to be slaughtered by Aro and his many demonic disciples, but as the power struck me, feeling the heavy weight of it begin to slowly lift with each painful new shift of my bones, I knew who now stood to be slaughtered and it** sure as fuck wasn't us... not anymore.**

I raised my head up to see them emerge running from the forest. Their speed like lightning as they came for us. I arose to full height, a forest shattering roar leaving me and noticing Paul was now looking up at me. His size seeming to be a full head shorter than myself now.

"Holy fuck, bro..." Paul huffed. "Their coming!"

**_"RIP THEM ALL TO SHREDS... PIECE BY FUCKING PIECE! BURN THEM ALL INTO ASH!" _**I shouted in command as I took off for the enemy.

Responding roars rang out through them as I began to unleash my fury, my teeth soon ripping into granite flesh as I caught the first filthy fucking parasite I would destroy in this battle, by the throat and tore him to damn shreds. He was only the first... The first of many.


	69. Chapter 71

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I hope you're ready for this next chapter. I have been busy with the holiday season now in full swing, but fear not, I will be posting another chapter very soon. Once again, thank you all so very much for your following and continued support of this story. I look forward to your reviews! You all are wonderful! As I always say... HAPPY READING! :-)  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY**

**(JPOV)**

I watched the mass of hungry newborns engulf us, like a flood to dry land, covering us entirely. I had a rage roaring within me, one I had never known and one that quickly consumed me. I was hungry for the kill... eager for their red eyes to grow wide when I came at them. I wanted to hear them scream out in anguish... wanted them to burn into nothing more than ash. A sense of sick and unfamiliar thrill hit my system when I soon ripped them apart, one by one, never stopping long enough to keep count. The beast leading me and taking full control, as I tore and ripped and shredded endless amounts of granite flesh. My roars of fury echoing loudly off the trees as I sought after my next kill.

**Destroy them all... leave none to wander... Not a single one...**

**This is YOUR LAND... Bella is YOUR MATE... NONE WILL EVER TAKE IT FROM YOU!**

My head filled with this repeatedly, fire blazing high all around us as Collin and Brady made sure to set each of them ablaze. Their dismembered pieces laying all over the snow covered ground as I savagely made my way through the overwhelming mass of them, like a hunter clearing the path of his prey.

Esme and Rosalie had taken on their fair share already, ripping and tearing with talons of stone through concrete. The noise of the destruction, loud and shattering over us like thunder from an angry storm.

Emmett was handling his own as he triumphantly conquered whatever newborn he could get his iron hands on. He disarmed them with seeming ease and made it look almost as if he enjoyed tearing them up.

I shared his sentiment.

I became over run with unhinged anger as I sunk my teeth into the neck of yet another leech, eyes of haunting red staring wide at me as I finished off his miserable existence.

Embry's screaming soon cut through my thoughts, bringing my attack on another to a stand still. I saw Emmet run, with the sound of speed, to help him as two newborns attempted to crush him. Emmet tore one of them off Embry as he struggled to get back up. His thoughts loud and vulgar as he ripped the head off the other.

The temporary distraction had been enough for three newborns to catch me off my game. Two hurled themselves over the top of me and landed swiftly on my back as I shredded the stone flesh of the third with my teeth.

I felt the crushing begin on my left side as I tried to rid them. The sound of my bones cracking was the next thing I heard, along with a menacing hiss from Rosalie as she flew through the air and collided with them, knocking them now to the ground. I pushed past the breaking feel of my bones and took hold of one of the bloodsuckers by the shoulder, hauling him backwards and separating his arms from his body as he screamed in agony. Rosalie quickly finished off another before flying toward me and landing with a solid strike to the leeches head. She grinned to me with amusement as she hurled his remains into the nearby fire that rose to new heights with the many leech remains.

I saw her pause and glance my way before she headed to attack another, her words taking me by surprise.

"For what it's worth... I think you've always been the right choice for Bella and in a twisted sort of way... I'm starting to like you, Jacob Black."

I huffed at the irony of her remark and took off after her, plunging myself back into the midst of the battle. My roar shaking the forest as I attacked the next blood hungry and crazed newborn with no mercy. Her small frame telling me how young she had to of been when Aro had changed her into this.

I felt it... somewhere deep within me... as the man... the twinge of sympathy for her unfortunate fate at the young age she was. The feeling was small and fleeting as I tossed her remains into one of the many surrounding burn piles.

I whipped around then to see Emmet swiftly losing a fight with two more parasites. His strength seeming to fade as we fought on. I ran to his aid and rammed into them, sending them hurdling into the air. We were swift to finish them off before they landed in the snow below.

The mass began to dwindle, but it was a slow fade and the ongoing strength of the newborns had begun to wear down some of the elders, their power fading with every new attack. I went to them, grabbing hold of any leech I could and ripping them to shreds.

Raw authority surged through my veins as I dismembered yet another parasite. His fists landing blows to my side and cracking more ribs as he tried to win against me. To my satisfaction... he lost.

The clearing looked like a feeding frenzy as they all ravenously tried to sink their venom fangs into _my wolves._ I could sense the heated alpha's power, hastily thrumming through my veins as I whipped around to face the onslaught of several more now charging my way.

I had been pushed... and pushed... one too many damn times... I had more than reached my breaking point.

**"SLAUGHTER. THEM. ALL**.**" **The voice within me raged, as the Alpha's demanding spirit washed over me, leaving only his guidance and instruction to remain.

When the sun began to light the snow under my paws, signaling the dawn of a new day, I saw my pack begin to tire. The newborns ruthless attack leaving them battered and scarred... but_ alive. _None had been lost... None had been broken beyond repair... Not one.

I stalked toward the only four remaining parasites, seeing their eyes glint with sick challenge as they took off running into the forest. Their speed unimaginably quick as they flew through the dense tree cover.

They wanted to play... Fine... we'd fuckin' play...

I took off like a bat out of hell after them, hearing Collin and Brady's thoughts link with mine as they followed fast behind me.

_"Right behind you, Jacob."_ Brady roared, as we ran.

_"You catch them... you kill them!"_ I ordered.

I soon recognized the trail we were on as the realization of where these newborns were headed sunk in.

... Straight for Sam's... Straight for Bella...

I picked up my pace and soon hurled myself over one as I came up fast behind him, solidly landing in front of the tic with a ferocious roar.

His eyes grew wide as he raised his hand up in defense to strike me. I snarled and charged for him as he flew up into the trees and avoided my attack. I fumed with fury as I watched him fly from tree to tree. My eyes on his every move.

A loud hiss came from my left suddenly as Emmett rushed by me and slammed into the base of the tree the newborn vamp was in. The mighty tree shook and swayed as he pushed it with all his strength and sent it hurdling to the ground.

The newborn with eyes of blood color, fumbled around in the snow, trying to get away from us. His attempts futile as Emmet pinned him to the ground and beheaded him before I could fully blink twice.

I took off running after the still fresh trail that was leading me straight to Sam's. Collin and Brady still hot in pursuit. I caught up to them just in time to see Brady snatch a granite arm in his muzzle as he fought one off.

"_I got this one, Jake..."_ He assured me.

I bolted to catch the second, seeing Collin tire as he neared Sam's back yard.

_"Stay back with your brother... Help him._" I ordered, flying by him and seeing Sam come into view to intercept the hungry leech. He roared as the leech plowed into him. Sam's wolf form tumbled and rolled with the red eyed vamp. His jaws snapping as he pinned him beneath his powerful paws. I was fast to sink my teeth into his marble like flesh as Sam tore his head from his body.

"Are there more coming?" Sam huffed my way before he quickly phased back to human form and lit the leech remains on fire.

"No... This. Is. The. Last. Of. Them."

I didn't pause and wait any longer for his lingering reply. I swiftly turned and raced back to check on the rest of my pack, needing to see with my own wolf gaze that each and every one of them were alright and still in one piece.

I heard the alerting howl as I soon broke free from the dense forest. My wolf gaze sweeping the clearing and seeing not one fucking newborn leech remained.

The smoke was nearly choking as I gathered a few remaining pieces of leech and tossed them into the fire pile closest to me.

"Jacob..."

I turned to see Esme approach. Her golden gaze weary when she spoke.

"I understand what this means... I know that we broke the treaty by coming here... We don't plan on returning... ever. Forks is part of our past now."

I huffed and saw Emmett and Rosalie fast approaching. Their eyes scanning in every which direction for any threat that may have been overlooked.

"This is the last bunch of remains... nothing is left... not one miserable piece." Rosalie hissed, throwing the remains she carried into the nearby burn pile like kindle wood.

I watched her as she embraced Rosalie. Her words laced with conviction. "We need to leave now, Esme... get on our way to Denali... this is the wolves land. Right Jacob?"

I huffed my reply and saw Emmett's gaze meet mine. "Game well played, I'd say? We play on the same team from now on?"

I huffed in acknowledgment to him. Feeling grateful for their aid in this unforeseen battle, for without it, I knew I couldn't confidently say that all of us would be here... let alone in tact still. I would always be thankful for their help.

Esme kindly offered him half a sad smile in return. "Should've never come to this to begin with... I'm sorry that it did. I hope to hear from you and Bella at some point... please... I would like nothing more than to hear how well you are... Eventually?"

I huffed and met their united gaze before they turned and ran with blurring speed into the forest.

Collin and Brady soon approached me with the others standing close behind. My order to them was quick and thorough as I sensed something feral shift within me.

_"Go to Sam's. Stay there until I send for you... all of you."_

_"Without you?"_ Collin asked with an uneasy whine.

_"Yes... without me... Now go..." _I replied, trying to ignore the concern I heard in his tone.

They all turned and headed into the woods as I looked around at the many cindering piles of left over leech. The smoke still coloring the sky in a purple hue.

I saw a few members of the pack lingering by the forest, seeming hesitant to go. I gave another command to leave and watched their heads bow in obedience as they slowly turned and headed in the direction of Sam's.

When I was left utterly alone in the clearing, I felt the pain begin to seep its way into my body. The jolt and force of it, making me un - sturdy, even on four legs. I braced myself for its wrath, but wasn't as prepared as I should've been for it's unrelenting brutality. The numbing effect from the beast's mighty reign of dominance, had begun to rapidly disappear from me. The beast had grown comfortable in his current free state and clearly had no intention of letting me cage him anytime soon. It would be a fight that I feared I would lose.

My body, being already weak from the battle, wouldn't withstand that kind of undiluted pain right now.

Despite this knowledge, I pushed the limit anyway, my mind, creating a clear picture of Bella for me to hold onto. I wanted to see her, with my own two eyes... with my own human gaze. I wanted to touch her, kiss her, hold her in my arms and know that she was safe and I could have none of that kind of luxury being in the current form I was in right now.

I sunk down to the snow covered ground as I felt the beast become agitated with his impending fate. He knew his time was limited and he intended to make getting the man I was back, no short of a living hell for me.

Even though I knew this... Even though I knew how torturous and even fatal this could be for me... in the end... I would change nothing... Not a single thing.

Aro was destroyed and his many followers were all with him now. All of them reduced to nothing more than piles of ash that surround me.

Bella was with Sam and Emily... And their son was with them... unharmed and untouched by all this chaos.

No more threat from that vile monster loomed over our heads. So, every bit of pain I was about to feel, was without question, worth it. Every ounce of immeasurable agony that was about to rip it's way through me, was a sacrifice I would gladly make again.

I slowly rose and stood on weary legs as I began to try and cage the beast who truly hated to be tamed. The pain hit my system like a speeding freight train, plowing into me with cosmic force and making me struggle to keep my hold. I drew in all the strength I had left and tried to phase back, but the pain became more than I could stand as I collapsed to the cold forest floor and darkness surrounded me. It's heavy pull making me bow down to it in forced submission.

I had nothing left to fight with... no remaining strength left to pull from... I was unable to push back this time.

For nothing remained now... Nothing more than the black fucking hole of forced submission... It's cloud of impenetrable darkness, taking hold of me as I lay there.

I had won the battle but could I have ultimately lost the war within myself?


	70. Chapter 72

**A/N: Hello everyone! I know... I know... it has been FAR too many days without a new chapter and I am so sorry for the wait! I have been trying to find the time to write in the wake of the extremely busy and hectic Holiday season. So, thankfuly today... I was finally able to write a new chapter :) I hope all of you are having a joyous Holiday season with the ones you love, and to those who have stuck with me through this story... THANK YOU! Your support is what keeps this story going and also what puts a smile of appreciation on my face. So... enough from me and my rambling on. Without further ado... I present to you the next chapter. As always... HAPPY READING!  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - ONE**

**(BPOV)**

Seth had been our saving grace. His timing impeccable and his loyalty admirable as he defended and ushered Emily, Levi, my father and myself back to Sam's. The journey through the dark woods had been bitterly cold and equally tedious. By the time we arrived to Sam's, Levi was shivering in his tiny blanket, despite the coat that Charlie had wrapped him up in several miles prior. The bitter cold had rapidly seeped through its cover and had Emily worried for his well being. She was swift to swaddle him in a heavier blanket and heat up a warm bottle. Her loving gaze coming to rest upon him as she settled him in her arms.

Charlie remained ever watchful by the front door, always peeking out the window, with his hand lingering on his holstered gun. Though he knew it would serve him no true use, I saw that it was a reflexive response for him after all his years of being a police officer. It came natural for him to reach for his weapon when impending danger arose nearby.

"How do we know that we're not just baited prey waiting in here to be pounced upon?" Charlie sighed, as he peered out through the frosted window.

"Seth was sure the surrounding area was safe before he left to return to Jake and the pack." I replied.

"Do we even know how many of them things are coming? Are there more?"

"There's no true way to know, Charlie. We just have to stay here and place faith in Jacob and the pack." Emily sighed, as she held tightly to her son.

"I never knew such shit existed... and I still don't know what the hell I'm going to tell your mother. I've sent her a few bullshit texts... trying to assure her that you and I are on a long extended errand for Billy... so far she's bought it, but that will only last so long."

"We'll think of something... when we return home... We'll... come up with something..."

"Something she'll buy?" Charlie chuckled... "I doubt it."

"You never know, maybe Jacob could sit her down and explain everything. He's pretty good at descaling situations like this. I'm sure he can help the two of you put your heads together and think of something plausible." Emily offered up.

"... And if we don't?" Charlie hedged.

"Then... you tell her the truth and we all help her to cope with it." Emily sighed. "At the end of the day, Charlie... you are all family and that is what truly matters... it's something that Sue used to say... all the time."

Emily's gaze grew full of emotion with her reply as she handed a sleeping baby Levi to me. His face angelic as he slept and dreamed.

"Here... can you take him for a few minutes... after all... you'll need the practice... you'll be holding your own little bundle of joy here before you know it." Emily beamed.

"Sure..." I replied, with a small grin as I pondered her words.

Charlie soon sat down next to me with a heavy sigh as he watched Levi.

"... Hard to believe that you're even old enough now to have your own baby... I uh... I'm still ... kinda speechless..."

I turned to him, seeing his eyes grow to be glossy as he continued.

"Guess, I still see you as my little girl... not a grown woman... like you are." He confessed.

"... I'll always be your little girl... even when I'm old and grey... you know that... don't you?"

Charlie nodded and touched Levi's cheek with adoration and half a grin.

"Time sure goes by some fast..."

"It does... too fast." I replied.

As the many hours of the night wore on, my mind became too active and my fear overwhelming. I had laid Levi to sleep in his crib, while Emily and I paced the floor and listened to any movement or creak the house made. We were all on edge, all of us waiting for the front door to swing open.

"You've lived with this stuff for a while now, Emily. How do you cope with it? The worry all the damn time?" Charlie asked, as he took a long haul of coffee Emily had made for him.

Emily met my gaze for a moment before she answered him, her look now becoming reflective.

"Well... It certainly wasn't the life I had imagined when I was growing up. Every little girl dreams of her wedding day, of course, but none of them picture that their husband could erupt into a giant dog if angered enough... or if the cold ones linger nearby." She sighed. "I never imagined that things would play out the way they have, Charlie. I in no way regret my life, but I do regret some of the heartache that came along with it ... like for Leah. She lost a lot when she lost Sam. I knew the kind of love they had before me ... before the imprints pull took hold ... it was as real as anything I'd ever seen. He never mistreated her, always took good care of her and when Sam imprinted on me, all of that seemed to wash away ... as if ... the two of them never even existed. I hated myself for the longest time for taking Sam from her, even though, it wasn't something I controlled, I still carried that heavy guilt around with me for years and now... I don't know how to tell her that Sue is gone... She will be truly heartbroken."

Charlie swallowed hard and met her gaze. "I know... Sue loved those kids with all she was. But ... I know you'll think of a way to help her through all this? Things are better now between you and Leah? Would she let you in to support her?"

Emily nodded with a small sigh for him. "Yes... they are. Things are a lot better than they used to be between us, but I think that came with time... I know she'll never forgive the situation fully, but we both realize that we're family and we always will be. I care for her well being very much and Sam may not voice it like myself, but he does, too."

"When Jacob explained everything to me, he said the imprint was a powerful thing." Charlie replied.

"It sure is."

"So it's... like destiny?" Charlie huffed in question, switching his weight to the other foot in nervous fashion.

Emily couldn't help but stifle a small giggle with her meek reply. "Yes... in a matter of speaking... it is similar."

Her laughing soon faded when she met my far off gaze, reading the tremendous worry on my face so well. Her words were comforting when she spoke again.

"That's why what Bella and Jake share is even more powerful. Their connection began long before the imprint had anything to do with it. Jake fell in love with her all on his own ... the man he is wanted her long before the wolf he became would claim her as his ... the bond they share is not just the wolf. A deep connection like that ... it's truly one for the books."

I smiled my appreciation to her as she offered to refill my cup of tea, which was now empty.

"So... if it isn't asking too much... tell me what the difference is for Jake?" Charlie asked, his question swiftly catching our attention.

"What do you mean, Charlie?" Emily replied.

"How does that work for him ... to change from wolf to man and then man back to wolf? Doesn't that take a toll on a guy?"

"It can..." I sighed, staring down into the steamy cup of tea that Emily had now placed in my hands.

"What are the risks?"

"... many..." Emily softly replied. "Jake is Alpha ... he's powerful ... that kind of power has to be kept under certain restraint."

"Why..." Charlie hedged.

"... Because the man that Jacob is could ultimately be enveloped by the wolf who rules him ... it's a fine line ... A delicate balance. Sam dealt with it ... briefly, but not nearly to the level Jake has. You see ... Jacob was born to be leader. To lead his pack ... He was born to be Alpha ... it's in his blood ... part of who he is. Whereas Sam, he was appointed the job on a temporary basis ... more or less."

"... A shoe in?" Charlie asked, glancing my way.

"Yes and it became such a part of Sam's identity that it ruined him for a while when he lost it." Emily further explained.

"You mean when Jake took it from him." Charlie interjected.

Emily simply nodded and offered me her gaze of understanding.

"Jacob took what rightfully belonged to him all along ... from the start. Being separated from Bella all that time ... it was excruciating for him. When your entire being craves another and that person is miles and miles away ... it can drive them to the breaking point."

"... But I see you all together ... you and Sam and Jacob ... you seem to genuinely love one another ... like a big family of sorts. You truly hold no ill will toward him for what he did to Sam?" Charlie asked.

"No ... I knew the kind of person Jacob was ... the kind of man he is and if anything, Charlie ... I felt nothing but immense sorrow for him. Jacob will always be family to us ... like a brother ... and Bella ... she's become like the sister I never had."

Charlie grinned at her remark and patted my arm as the wind blew furiously around the house, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up from it's sound.

"All this ... this chaos that surrounds you..." Charlie sighed... "It scares the hell out of me and it's never gonna stop, is it?"

I lifted my head to meet his gaze and saw the worry there in his caring brown eyes. Eyes that mirrored my own.

Emily was quick to answer Charlie's question when she saw my struggle. How could I reassure my father when I couldn't truthfully reassure myself?

"This life comes with it's risks. Bella will always carry the knowledge of the supernatural with her now, but she will never carry it alone, Charlie. She's family now... you all are. No one can say down the road what will take place, if there will ever be another threat to her life ... to all our lives ... but you should take comfort in knowing who protects her. Jacob would lay down his own life down for her without being asked. You should rest a little easier at night knowing that. For it is the truest kind of love and devotion there is."

"I do..." Charlie admitted, with a thoughtful gaze my way.

Just then a loud howl rang out around the house, bringing each of us to rise up on our feet. My heart hammered away in my chest as Emily scooped Levi up in her arms and peeked out through the curtain.

"It's Sam... and... Leah..." Emily gasped, swiftly handing Levi to me and throwing the front door open.

Sam rushed in past us, his human form completely naked and carrying a shaking and equally nude Leah in his strong arms. Everything seemed to happy in a whirlwind from there.

Sam was quick to lay a now screaming Leah down on the couch, her body covered in a sheen of sweat as she screamed.

"Sam... what-" Emily began in horror, as she ran over to Leah's side.

"She got attacked! They tried to crush her. We got to her, but not before the damn tic had already done the damage. We were set up to be slaughtered. Aro knew what kind of battle he was facing with us and he was sure to come prepared."

Emily ran to grab a blanket to cover Leah's shaking form, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

"Most of her left side is completely shattered!" Sam yelled, his tremors beginning to visibly shake his naked body.

"They're already beginning to heal wrong..." Emily breathed as she covered her. "Sam... we have to do something..."

I grimaced as the memory of Jacob's screaming came back to me. His body nearly being crushed when he fought against the newborns in Victoria's army. I had never heard anything so shrilling since then... until now. I could remember the sound of his agony, stopping me in my tracks in Billy's front yard. The sound of his pain enough to steal the breath from my body. I remember wanting to curl up by his side on his small bed and stay with him until he healed, but like the fool I was back then, I made the mistaken and regrettable choice of leaving him. It haunted me still.

I glanced toward Charlie, seeing his face a shade of pale white as he watched Leah writhe in agony on the couch.

"You'll have to re - break them..." I breathed to no one in particular just as another ear shattering scream from Leah filled the house.

"Re - break them?" Sam huffed, as he wildly paced before us. "No... No way... that was excruciating for Jacob and he had the assistance of a doctor... Back when Carlisle was in his right mind."

"Jacob suffered an injury like this before?" Charlie asked, his voice sounding like the small whisper from a ghost when he spoke.

"Yes. He endured something very similar." Emily replied, placing a cool cloth on Leah's forehead. Her words becoming full of raw emotion. "But we're not equipped here to help her the way Carlisle helped Jacob at Billy's... we have no doctor and no morphine..."

Charlie stepped forward, rolling up his sleeves and taking the lead in a way I hadn't foreseen coming.

"We can't just stand here and do nothing. I've had emergency training and Bella here was in nursing school for a while. Between all of us... we can help her. We have to... don't we?" Charlie hedged.

"I... I don't ... know-" Emily flustered.

"Charlie's right... we have no choice." Sam interjected.

I was swift to take instruction from Sam, quickly helping them any way I could. I placed myself beside Leah and continued to dab her forehead with a cool cloth. When I tried to retrieve another cloth a short time later, I felt her hand grab mine, her words coming out in short gasps to me when I turned back to see her eyes wide as she spoke.

"Aro... is... gone."

I felt her hand tighten in mine as her body writhed in agony before me. Her words a struggle to get out as the pain swept through her again. I waited there with her, my eyes never leaving her face and her hand still contentedly held in my own.

"Leah... shh... it's okay... don't speak..." I whispered to her. She shook her head in protest and fought harder to get the words out.

"Jake... killed... the bastard, Bella. He's nothing... more than... ash... now." She gasped, her grip on my hand causing me to wince. I felt the tears run down my face as her words sunk in.

I cried for the relief of learning Aro's demise. I cried for Leah and for the knowledge I had of her dear mother's passing. Something she had yet to know... something that had yet to be told and more so, I cried for what I feared this could mean for Jacob. For I knew the kind of power needed to win this battle and I feared greatly for the consequences of unleashing it again.

The next hour was filled with Leah's agony as Charlie and Sam worked together to re - break her bones so they could heal properly. The sound of the snapping and her excruciating screams became almost more than I could stand, but in spite of my own fear and overwhelming emotion, I stayed by Leah's side and kept her hand in mine. I owed her for so much more than just saving my life before. I owed her for her courage and for the help she had given to her pack... to Jacob. The kind of help that I myself could not give.

When Leah's screams grew to moans of discomfort, her grip on my hand released and I watched as she soon succumbed to her exhaustion, the heavy weight of sleep seeming to now be her only true source of comfort and relief. I slowly moved myself away from her and watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as she rested. My eyes glued to her as Emily continued to keep her comfortable. Her loving care for Leah causing my eyes to sting with new tears.

"She's through the worst of it... but healing itself is still a very difficult process. We can only hope that she heals properly now." Sam sighed, as he pulled on some shorts and shot Charlie an apologetic look for his prior nakedness.

My father, though his color was still ghostly pale, simply shrugged his reply and remained watchful by the front door.

"You think she'll make it through?" He soon asked.

"Leah's as strong as they come." Sam sighed. "She'll pull through just fine and Sue can-"

Sam went mute at that moment as Emily burst into tears and wrapped herself up in the sanctuary of her husbands arms.

"...Sue... she... shes- ... gone, Sam." Emily wept.

The look on Sam's face was one of pure shock and then immense sorrow as he cradled Emily's face in his hands.

"Gone? She's... gone?" He questioned.

"They killed her when they took Levi." Emily cried, her sobs of sorrow overwhelming her.

My own tears soon spilled over as my eyes fell upon Charlie's. His look reflective as he cleared his throat in a sure way to get a grip on the emotions that threatened to engulf him.

A viscous roar came from outside then, startling us all into silence and sending Sam on a dead run for the front door.

"Emily... stay inside... " He yelled as he left us. Charlie shut the door behind him and I huddled in close to his side as we listened to the loud roaring from outside.

"This is it... isn't it..." Charlie huffed. "Those evil bastards are coming for you!"

"They won't make it through the front door, Charlie... Listen..." Emily cautioned. "Sam is not alone to defend us here. Jacob made sure we were well protected in his absence. Those newborns don't know the fury that awaits them."

"You place a lot of confidence in them, don't you?" Charlie asked.

"You'd be a damn fool not to." I whispered against his shirt.

Aro may have unleashed a vengeful wrath upon us all, but Jacob... _my Jacob_ ... had every intention of ending this his way and turning them all into nothing more than ash and I had more than enough faith in him to believe that he would do just that.


	71. Chapter 73

**A/N: Hello all! I hope the Holiday season treats you well and that you all enjoy this wonderful time of year with your friends and family! I will be posting two chapters back to back tonight! I hope you enjoy them both and I look forward to your reviews! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE and as always... happy reading :-)  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - TWO**

**(JPOV)**

The sun began to rise higher in the sky as I tried to force myself back up from the frozen forest floor.

The more I tried... The more I fought the beast... The angrier he became at my efforts. My struggle against him was proving to be fucking useless. The weight of his reign was far heavier now than I remembered it to be and my body began to quit the fight long before my mind was ready to.

Clear visions of Bella played out before me as stayed on the ground, the man I was seething pissed for now being trapped against his own free fucking will.

I had known better...

I had heard the stories and legends time and fucking time again...

I was left with no choice...

It was truly imprisoning, to be trapped within your own calling ... To be trapped and held hostage by the one power and authority you so heavily relied upon to save everything that meant something to you.

My land was safe now... My pack, outside of Leah, was in tact and healing well ... Sam and Emily and their son were all safe... and Bella... My Bells was now safe and protected from the threat that constantly loomed over her head before.

As maddening as this was now, to be trapped like this, I still wouldn't trade the way it had ended for the simple granted wish of my humanity. What the fuck good would it have been to still be on two legs and have lost it all?

No... this ... this right here... as fucked up as it might be ... was the right choice.

I cringed as I thought back upon some of the legends I had heard, knowing how long a stint like this could endure... months could pass... years even.

If I chose to keep fighting against it, the outcome for me could be fatal and while I knew Bella would be hurting to not have me beside her ... I also knew she would rather have me in wolf form and alive, then not at all.

The hours and hours passed, as I watched the sun rise to new heights in the sky and observed the beautiful glimmer it casted upon the fresh snow under me. The silence that surrounded me was all too short lived as I soon heard Paul's thoughts cut into my own. His phase in coming near mid day as he approached me with a weary gaze.

_"Leah's healing... But Sam said it was rough... Charlie helped._"

I acknowledged him with a huff and saw his head bow as he neared me further.

_"You're... not coming back are you?"_ Paul asked.

My silence was the only answer I gave and he took it at face value as his ears perked up.

_"Fuck... There has to be something we can do, Jake."_

I remained silent, keeping my thoughts to myself for a few moments. For I knew there was nothing more I could do. Not at this point.

_"You can't just-"_ Paul huffed my way in agitation.

_"I have no choice!"_ I angrily yelled back to him.

_"There's always a damn choice. FIGHT BACK!"_

I felt the anger hit my system from his implied accusation that I wasn't trying hard enough. He had no fucking idea... none of them did.

_"I have!"_ I bit back._ "Leave Paul! If you know what's good for you... get going!"_

_"What the fuck are you gonna do, bro? Stay like this?"_

I huffed once and turned from him as I began to run full tilt into the forest, eager to be surrounded by the dense cover it offered. For this would be my new home until I could figure out a way to get the man in me back.

I had no idea what that would entail, but I knew my limits were already being pushed past the breaking point and I was walking a fine line.

As the day wore on and soon turned into the night, I found myself becoming more and more in tune with the nature that surrounded me. Like time had rewound itself... a twisted sense of deja vu crept in around me... I had been here not so long ago... back when Bella had left for Jacksonville and I tried to immerse myself in the wild and run from my problems.

How much had changed since then, and yet here I was, still stuck as a prisoner within myself and all the more worse off for it. The tables had certainly flipped this time around. I was no longer looking to get away from Bella's memory and the pain that came with it, instead, I was now desperate to get back to her.

The image of her face kept me grounded as I ran for miles and miles through the forest and though I had no true destination, this faithful image was the ever constant anchor that held me to my humanity... I was clinging by fingertips... but it counted.

I dreaded when the beast would pull rank and soon rip the hopeful image of her from me, for I knew how fleeting this sanctuary would be. The beast had patience for no one and was angered by many and while he needed his mate, and could never ignore the imprints powerful pull to her, the man I was, needed her for _so much more than the beast could ever comprehend_. We were both well aware of what we stood to lose, should the other terry in the least.

I knew if I showed_ no resistance_, he would engulf me to the point of no true return and Bella would be faced with carrying our child without me. Just the thought of it... just the knowledge of the possibility... had my heart heavy with anguish.

I hated this trapped feeling and as the night grew on, till the moon was high in the darkened star filled sky, I began to fester all the more.

I soon collapsed under the cover of a tall tree and closed my eyes, the exhaustion of the days events now catching up with me. I was beat, in all sense of the term.

No more could I run. No more could I fight. I had taken all I could for one night.

I slept for hours, through most of the night, until the sound of approaching foot steps upon the crisp frozen ground some time later, had me rising with haste and a low growl as the sound crept closer and closer. I snapped my head to the left, whipping my body around and scanning the tree's that surrounded me.

I huffed in frustration as my eyes revealed nothing to me. I lowered myself back to the ground and gazed up at the moon, seeing its glow on the snow covered tree tops. It was beautiful and I marveled at the true beauty nature in its purest form held for all to behold. I tried stay there and rest a bit longer, but was soon drawn up again by restlessness. I was close to the states border and used what little reign I had left to effectively squander the beasts eagerness to further roam. For I knew the more miles I put between Bella and myself, the harder this would be.

I may not be able to touch her... hold her ... the way I wanted to... but I wanted to be able to at least_ see her._

By the time I had made the journey back to the Res, it was approaching mid afternoon. It was soon clear that I wasn't alone anymore.

Sam's thoughts phased in first, followed by Paul and Seth.

The beast let out a snarl from their untimely intrusion and I did my best to reign in the harshness of my words when I addressed them.

_"Jacob..."_ Sam huffed as he skidded to a stop in front of me. His wolf gaze watchful and keen to pick up the change within me now._ "Fuck... Paul was right, I_ see."

_"So it's true!"_ Seth barked, getting closer to me._ "You're really stuck like this!"_

My reply was more clipped with him than I liked, and I cussed at the dismissive tone the beast used.

_"It is what it is."_ I huffed to him.

_"No!"_ Seth yelled. _"You have to come back! We all need you!"_

The desperation in his tone instantly caught my attention and I felt my insides crawl with dread as Seth's vision of Sue became crystal clear for me to behold. It knocked the wind out of me for a moment, leaving me angry as hell that I was stuck in this shit right now. Sue was dead... Those bastards had taken her life and as Seth's broken voice filtered in through my mind, I began to hate the Alpha's dominant reign over me... now more than fucking ever.

_"She... died... doing what meant most to her... protecting those she loved the most. You were one of them, you know? Mom thought of you like another son, Jacob and now she's gone... forever..."_

He became overwhelmed with raw emotion as he turned from me and ran back towards the forest. I lurched forward instinctively after him, his pain striking my own system and making me ache with sadness for him. The moment I connected with that human emotion, the beast roared and an audible snarl left my muzzle as Sam stepped in front of me, stopping me from taking another step forward.

_"Jacob... Alpha or not... man or beast.. You're my brother... for life. I know how it goes... felt the Alpha's pull of dominance myself a time or two... but nothing like this... It's a delicate balance... and the pendulum has now swung too far in the other direction."_

I huffed and moved myself back from him. He matched my step of retreat with an advancement of his own. His nose nearly touching mine as a seething growl crept its way out of my muzzle from his move. I knew Sam's intentions here... but the beast had no fucking recognition of it. He went purely on instinct alone and would only read this as a challenge and not a brotherly alliance.

_"Jake... You gotta keep fighting. You stand to lose too much if you don't. You are not alone. The beast knows this... but the man you are needs to remember it, too. Don't quit... you hear me?_"

I kept his gaze and managed a huff as I held back the snarl that threatened to creep out.

"_Bella is with Charlie. Back at his house. Her mother and Phil are still here and I've been into the hospital to see your father just this morning. He's looking better. The doctors say he may not need the surgery after all. Your sister is with him. I told her some bullshit excuse about needing you for some frozen pipes I had at the house. She believes it... for now. But you and I both know that will only last so damn long. Can't sell her such a story for much longer. She's pretty pissed that you haven't returned her calls, but your dad has been on top of her worry. He's told her to leave you be and that you'll comeback around soon enough. He knows, Jake... I told him... that you're... stuck..."_

His words brought me solace as the vision of his visit with my father ran through my mind. His color was better and though my sister looked some damn pissed, I knew he was well taken care of.

_"He knows and he understands... and I talked to Paul and Embry about the house... Your house... with Bella... We're gonna make sure it's looked after. You have my word."_

Pain lashed at me as I thought of the house and how badly I had wanted to bring her home to it... See her beautiful face light up with joy when I carried her over the threshold in true tradition. All that planning had gone to shit now and I was forced to wait longer, something else I hated.

"_Tell me what you need me to do_." Sam asked, his tone genuine and urgent._ "Ask me... anything... and I'll do it, bro."_

I felt the beast now grow tired of the needles conversation. In his selfish opinion, it was a waste of valuable time. I pulled what small strength the man I was still had forward, as I felt the beast begin to turn his back to Sam and head into the woods. Though it was excruciating for me, I fought hard against the beasts desire to retreat back into his rightful place, among the cover of the forest, and voiced my one true concern to Sam.

_"Take care of Bella."_

Sam heard the change in tone and was soon in front of me. His stance seeming as an annoyance to the beast, who now growled in anger.

_"Always."_ Sam replied with a huff as he soon moved aside for me to pass.

I walked to the border of the forest, stopping when Sam's bark halted me there.

_"... until you return, my brother... Till then..."_

I huffed and continued on as the sky became heavily covered with dark clouds. The lingering threat of heavy snow in them as they gathered high in the sky. I was headed in a different direction when I forced the beast to switch his course. It was hell to do, but I needed to see Bella and I was determined not to allow the beast to roam further than needed from her. I may be stuck like this, but better a few short miles away than to put states between us.

I stuck close by the bordering tree's of Charlie's back yard, careful not to be without their cover completely, for the worry that Renee or Phil would spot me and have a damn panic attack. That's the last thing Bella needed right now.

I heard the steady sound of her heart beat as I drew closer, listening to its offered song and clinging to it like a life line. I hunkered down there as the snow began to fall, adding more inches to the already heavily blanketed white forest.

To my dismay, the beast grew restless shortly, but I was hell bent on staying right here. If I couldn't have Bella physically in my arms, than I'd happily settle for listening to the constant beat of her heart. After all, my own steadily beat for her... Now... and forever.


	72. Chapter 74

"Hell is a penance feared by many and acknowledged by few. To the many... I relate to your fear and to the few... I challenge your acknowledgment. For hell is the fire and flame you must endure. Is it that which you fear? For me... hell was a tangible place... a raw and unforgiving feeling from within you when you are separated from the one you love, leaving your insides to feel like charcoal and ash. For when this person is gone from you... fragments of you is all that which remains."

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - THREE**

**(BPOV)**

I tuned out the ambient chatter that surrounded me as my father and Renee fussed over my untouched dinner plate. I had tried to eat ... tried to force myself to consume something of much needed substance several times over the last week, but ultimately, my body rejected any effort I made and I ended up with my head in the trash can on most nights.

Emily had even tried cooking me home made soup, but nothing worked. Between the pregnancy hormones, my nerves, and the heartache over Jacob not coming home after the battle, I was an absolute mess.

I had begun to function on auto pilot lately, my actions now proving to be nothing more than routine for me and unfeeling.

The first day had been the worst. Renee was full of the many anticipated questions about our sudden disappearance and her trying to figure out exactly what kind of urgent errand Billy had sent us on that took so damn long.

Luckily, Charlie had fielded majority of her questions and I was able to simply nod my way through most of them with ease. I tried to force a smile to her every once in a while, just to keep her from getting suspicious, but when she canceled her flight back home and insisted on staying to help Billy further recover, I knew this act of mine was due to rapidly dwindle. I had become certain she would see right through me and it was now only a matter of_ when and not if._

Emily and Sam had been extremely helpful during this time. They were over every day, offering me help with this and that. Top all that off with Paul and Embry stopping in right before dinner every single night, and Charlie's house was now always buzzing with activity.

Despite all this, my inner turmoil remained.

I had fallen apart in Emily's embrace more times than I could count in the last week and Sam always offered his support, or his words of encouragement, whenever he would encounter us like this. I had run to her house on the Res nearly every morning since Jake hadn't returned. I desperately craved something familiar, something that felt like Jacob, and her home had provided that needed sanctuary for me. It was there that I was truly free to cry and scream if I needed to without the worry of my mother watching over me. Charlie knew about this, and he did his best to keep Renee and Phil busy enough while I stayed with Emily on most mornings.

Sam had been in full leader mode since Jake's departure, taking over pack duty and responsibility for him. He was doing his absolute best by Jacob and I loved him all the more for it.

Jacob's sudden absence left me feeling as if my heart were removed. Wherever he was now... he had to know he'd taken the entirety of it with him.

I had a hard time even focusing on general conversation with anyone. My mind always fixed on Jacob... worrying about where he was ... if he was okay... if he was hurting.

These many unknowns, were enough to make me literally want to throw something, and on more than one occasion, I had done just that.

Charlie had been in the kitchen with me and thankfully, my mother and Phil were out picking up dinner they had ordered for everyone, when my anger and agony got the better of me. Charlie had asked me the simplest of questions and it had been what ultimately sent me over the edge.

"Bella, why don't you eat some toast at least... or I could run out and get you a different kind of soup?" He offered.

"No... I'm fine." I replied to him, gripping the kitchen sink and waiting for another sure filled round of heaving to hit me.

"But, Bella... it's been days since you've held down anything solid. You've lived on broth and a few saltines here and there... That won't keep a small bird alive. It's not enough. Maybe we should see the Doctor in the morning? You know you have to eat ... not healthy for you or the baby if you don't."

"Don't you think I know that!" I snapped back, feeling my stomach flip for the tenth time now.

"I know you know that, but-"

"What am I supposed to do? I told you, I can't eat. I feel sick... all the time ... Have for seven straight days."

"Maybe the doctor could prescribe you something for the morning sickness-"

"This isn't damn morning sickness, dad. Im only a few weeks along. I haven't even made my first prenatal appointment yet. That's not what this is!" I yelled. My tears overwhelming me as I ranted on to him. "I... can't sleep... or think... or ... feel... Are they gonna prescribe me something for all that, too? Some fucking miracle drug to make me stop worrying over him... over where he is... or if he's okay... if he's suffering..."

My words were cut off as I placed my head in my hands and began to sob.

"Bella..." Charlie sighed, his arms soon gathering me in a nurturing way they hadn't since I was just a little girl. "He's coming back. Jacob is damn tough and I won't pretend to know what kind of hell this is for the both of you right now, but you're just as tough. You might not feel that way right now, but you are, Bella."

"What if he never comes back to me..." I sobbed into his chest. "What if I never see the man he is again?"

"Shh... don't even think that way. You have to have faith, Bella. In times like these, it's all we have."

The memory played out before me as I sat now at the kitchen table, pushing aside my barely touched dinner plate and silently excusing myself as I arose from the table and headed outside with my jacket in tow.

"Bella... dear, you've hardly touched your dinner?" Renee asked, as I left.

I had yet to tell her that I was expecting and Charlie had been playing devils advocate these past few days by telling her I had the touch of the nasty flu bug that had been going around. I was grateful for his help and relied on it even now as my gaze met his from across the room in desperation.

He cleared his throat and gathered the plates off the table as he swiftly changed the topic for discussion.

"Hey uh... What do you say to a game of poker?" He asked them both. My mother shrugged and met his challenge with a cocky grin as she helped him clear the table and soon retrieved the deck of cards from the kitchen drawer.

"Well if you insist on just giving your money away, Charlie... who can refuse your offer?" Renee quickly bit back with a laugh.

"I'm with the wife on this one, Charlie. Set em' up." Phil chimed in, as I shut the front door and pulled on my coat with a violent shiver from the bitter cold. The snow had continued to fall in hefty amounts throughout much of the week, and the snow piles were now high in every driveway up and down our street.

I reached in my pocket and retrieved my truck keys as I headed down over the stairs. I wanted to check in with Billy. He had just got back home earlier this week and a visit from me was way over due. I missed his laughter now more than ever and found myself soon breaking the town speed limit just to get there.

The house lights were still on when I pulled in and I nearly ran for the front door, my hand reaching up to knock when the door suddenly opened before me.

I saw his somber gaze meet mine as he gestured for me to come in. His look of genuine compassion making me feel the raw emotion from Jake's departure all over again.

I stepped over the threshold and heard him swing the door shut behind me as my eyes wandered over the house. Sam and Paul had spent hours cleaning up the mess that had been made from the battle. Everything looked a hell of a lot better than it had, and I could see the hard work they had placed in securing Billy's house for him again before he came home.

"Bella..."

I heard Billy's warm voice call from behind me. I drew in a sturdy breath as I turned to face him, seeing his eyes full of the kind of emotion I had been swallowed up in all week.

"Sure have missed seeing you."

I leaned down and embraced him then, knowing that my emotions were walking a tight rope and unsure of how well he was hanging on with all this, I was weary to embrace him for too long. So, I soon released him and sat down on the couch, seeing his gaze observant of me as I did so.

"Charlie called me..."

"He did?" I asked in reply.

"Yes. This morning ... says he doesn't know how to help you through this."

I nodded and wiped away the tear that had fallen down my cheek, trying to advert Billy's gaze.

"Have you eaten anything today? I just had some supper, but could always go for seconds and have more than enough left over if you want some?"

I shook my head and felt his hand reach for mine when I attempted to place it back in my lap.

"You sure?" Billy questioned.

"Haven't had much of an appetite..."

"I know... Your dad told me about that. I can relate, first time I've had much of an appetite myself these days. Sue used to always bring over so much food. Always had the fridge stalked. Gonna miss her... so much..."

"I'm really sorry about Sue, Billy. She was a wonderful woman." I replied, hearing the emotion in his voice over her.

"Me too... Nothing around here will be the same without her and the kids... Leah and Seth... I shutter to think what the next few months will be like for them. Holidays are coming and Sue always made Christmas so special for them. Gonna be hard as hell this year ... that's for sure. The Res is having a small funeral for her next week. You plan on going?" He sighed, as he gently squeezed my hand.

"Of course..." I replied. "I'll be there."

A brief silence then lingered there between us as the sound of the tea kettle began to whistle in the kitchen and spread through the house.

"Jake's sister put that on for me before she headed off into town. Care to join me for a cup?"

"Sure." I replied with half a smile as I got to my feet and wheeled him into the kitchen.

"Been hard keeping all this from her... she is inquisitive about Jake... keeps asking me where he is now. I think, sooner than I'm ready for, I'll have to tell her." Billy stated.

"Maybe I can talk to her?" I offered.

"You have enough going on right now." Billy protested, taking the hot cup of tea from me.

"Jake... would want... her to know... if it came right down to it." I replied. "You just got out of the hospital."

He nodded in thought as his gaze wandered to the framed picture of Jake and I he kept at the end of the table, along with picture of Jake's mother and even some older ones of Renee and Charlie when they were mere teenagers.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Better... truly ... Still have to take it easy, of course. Watch what I eat, but the Doctor says if things continue to improve with medication, I should be okay without the surgery."

"That's great news, Billy." I sighed to him in relief.

"It is..."

"Is Jake's sister staying here with you long?"

"Till the Holiday passes. She has her own life to get back to soon enough."

I nodded my reply as I sipped the warm tea, feeling it sooth my throat.

"Bella... he's gonna win this..." Billy soon stated... "He'll come back to you. To the both of you"

I raised my head when I heard the last part of his statement.

"You... you know?"

He nodded and placed his hand over my own as a broad smile spread across his face.

"Sam let it slip to me day before yesterday. Don't be too angry with him. He didn't mean to."

I shook my head as more tears came. "I'm not angry with him." I cried... "I'm just relieved you're happy?"

Billy chuckled then, the sound refreshing to hear.

"Are you kidding me? Happy about it? I'm thrilled!"

I hugged him again, feeling the comfort of his embrace and basking in the familiarity of it.

"I hope he's okay, Billy." I cried, now voicing my fears to him.

"I know you're worried. It's a scary thing to face, Bella. But Jacob will go through whatever it takes... cross hell twice... to get back to you. Until then, you have all of us to get you through. Take comfort in that, okay?"

"I miss him so much, Billy. It's only been eight days and look at me. I'm a wreck!"

Billy offered me a tissue and half a smile of understanding. "You know... Jake's mother used to be the same way with me. She certainly saw her fair share of hard times with me way back in the day. But her love saw me through, Bella. On more times than I can count... And I know your love will prove to do the same for my son now."

He paused and touched my cheek with a knowing grin. "Trust this old man, okay? You're the anchor that holds his very heart and soul when the spirits dominance attempts to rule him and I'm certain, as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow, it will be what guides him back to you - back home, Bella."

I nodded and dried my tears as he went to the fridge and retrieved a pot of stew from the top shelf.

"Now... how about that dinner? Care to try? Something is better than nothing?"

"Maybe... a small bowl." I replied with half a smile.

Billy heated up the stew on the stove and I helped to serve us both a small bowl. It was a simple chicken and dumpling type dish, and while the sight of it was appealing, the constant churning of my stomach made me hesitate. Billy took notice of this and soon spoke up.

"You hold tight for a moment? I'll be right back."

I watched him wheel himself out of the kitchen and awaited his return. My hand now aimlessly stirring the dumplings around in the bowl.

Billy came back in a few short minutes with a sweatshirt in his hand ... Jake's sweatshirt. He handed it to me with a grin.

"Here ... this was on his bed... and you and I both know he wore that damn thing all the time."

I didn't care how foolish or desperate it made me look, I hurriedly lifted it to my face and inhaled the woodsy pine scent that I had so badly missed these last eight days. The smell sent a rush of memories through me as I slipped into it, feeling the weight of it wrap around me. I felt the small grin that formed on my lips as I tucked my hands into the long sleeves and basked in its offered peace.

Billy took a bite of his soup and pushed my bowl a little closer to me.

"He never was one to do much of his own laundry ... guess that's a damn good thing right about now, huh?" He chuckled.

I nodded and willed away my tears as I drew a spoonful of soup up to my mouth... then another... and another.

I took it slow and managed to finish the bowl with Billy's conversation serving as a nice distraction. By the time we were done with dinner, it was near eleven and the snow had begun to really accumulate outside.

"There's no sense in you driving back home in this. It's not safe with the roads... why don't you stay here tonight? Jake's room is the same way he left it, Bella and I don't have to tell you that you're always welcome here... anytime, dear."

I was overwhelmed with his selfless gratitude as I saw him turn out the living room light.

"Thank you... so much... Billy." I replied.

He offered me a wink as he settled himself by the television. "Don't mention it, dear. Of course, you can sleep out here on the couch if you'd prefer it. Whatever you're more comfortable with."

I nodded as I pondered the hardship that awaited me if I chose to sleep in Jake's bed without him. I knew it would be a source of comfort and a form of torture all wrapped in one and so, I chose to sleep on the couch and soon dozed off to the sound of Billy on the phone with Charlie. He had kindly called my father to let him know I would be here for the night.

"Yea... she ate a whole bowl of that stew... has kept it down so far... She's just about sleeping now... Okay, Charlie... yep... will do, old friend. Good night."

For the first time in over a week, I had managed to keep down more than chicken broth, saltines and ginger ale. A miracle all on it's own. Being here with Billy had proven to be a great source of true comfort for me and while, I wasn't sure how long that would last, one thing was for sure, his kindness and his assured words had put my heart at rest... if only for a brief time... if only for a night. Nonetheless, I would take the offered peace being here again provided me now, with gratitude and hope beyond all hope, just the same way I had every morning since the battle, that when I awoke, Jacob would be back home and I would be able to feel his arms around me again.


	73. Chapter 75

**A/N: Okay so it's Christmas Eve and my hands are not only busy with wrapping, but also with writing! I wanted to post just one more chapter before Christmas and I hope you all enjoy it! Again... MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - FOUR**

**(BPOV)**

I had slept through the entire night at Billy's and was awakened by the smell of coffee brewing and the suns rays peering in brightly through the open curtains. My sleep, for the first time in days, had been restful.

"Well... look whose awake?" Billy grinned as I approached him at the kitchen table. "Sleep well...?"

"Surprisingly... yes..."

"Good to hear. Care for a cup of java? It's hot if you want it and I was sure to make it decaf just for you."  
I gingerly poured myself a cup and topped Billy's off while I was at it. I had missed coffee in more ways than I could express and to my astonishment, the steamy cup was refreshing to me instead of revolting, like it had been.

I had just sat down when a knock came to the door and my father peeked in.

"Hello?" He yelled in through the house.

"In here old man!" Billy's booming voice answered.

Charlie was swift to approach me with a genuine smile when he saw the cup of coffee clutched firmly in my hand.

"Well now... there's a sight I've missed seeing..." He chuckled, touching my cheek. "Even your color is a little better. I take it you got some needed rest here last night?"

"I did." I yawned, taking another sip of java.

"She just woke up." Billy smiled to him.

"Really? It's damn near noon you know?"

"What?" I exclaimed. "Noon! Is it really?"

"Yes." Billy laughed... "I put on another pot of coffee just in case you should wake anytime soon and it seemed to rise you from your slumber."

"I can't believe I slept that long."

"I can, Bella. You haven't had a restful nights sleep in days and you need that kind of rest... Now more than ever before." Charlie sighed, handing Billy his mail.

"So... Looks like you and I are gonna be grandpa's before we know it? What do you think of that, my old friend?" Billy proudly asked with a wide grin to Charlie.

"I think I'm... happy... and thrilled for them... and scared for her ... all at the same damn time."

"Oh... well now... Bella's gonna be just fine, Charlie." Billy assured him.

"Hey... This is my first time around with all this... you've had practice with Rebecca and Solomon having their kids. I'm allowed to fret..."

"Sure you are... I know I did... But it will get easier with time and some of the worry will fade."

"She's barely eating... or sleeping... till last night, anyway." Charlie fussed, as his hand came to touch my cheek again in concern.

"Well... to be fair, dad... the couch isn't all that comfortable at home. I like Billy's better. My back is less sore today. If you hadn't insisted on painting my room and doing land only knows what else for renovation in there-" I softly grumbled.

"Hey now..." Charlie interjected. "Nothing wrong with a little spruce up every decade or so... right, Billy?"

Billy tossed his mail on the table and nodded in agreement. "Nope... I think your dad is long over due for a spruce up. Kinda gettin' a bit shaggy in his old age."

"So... maybe I do have a few more grey hairs here and there..." Charlie mumbled.

"Here and there?" I countered. "And you need to shave, dad... how long has it been since you last used a razor?"

Billy busted into robust laughter as he nodded my way.

"Alright, Alright." Charlie festered. "I'll go to the barber this weekend. Things have been a bit busy and hectic around here, lately."

"True." I replied, kissing him on the cheek as he sat down to join us for coffee.

"But listen Bella..." He continued on... "About your room... I uh... need to fix a few more things in there before you can return to it. Been having some... electrical issues... need to do some re - wiring of sorts."

"Ugh..." I sighed, placing my head on the table. "Why didn't you just leave well enough alone, dad. I mean, I truly appreciate the effort and all, but I could use another restful nights sleep and with mom and Phil still here, the living room is way more than just a little crowded."

"I know, I know... but I promise it will be worth the wait, kiddo. Bare with me just a few more days ... I think I should be done by then... I think..."

His short speech sounded less than convincing and I truly dreaded trying to sleep another restless night on his couch. My gaze involuntarily wandered down the hall, toward Jake's room. My heart feeling heavy to know he wasn't with me like I had hoped he would be when I awoke... Wishful dreaming, I suppose.

Billy cleared his throat and piped up. "Charlie... She could always stay here."

I glanced to Billy then, seeing his warm smile. The kind of heartfelt smile that reminded me so much of Jake's.

"Well... That's up to her..." Charlie replied.

I was silent while I pondered this for a while. It would be nice to be here right now, surrounded by the familiarity of Jacobs things and Billy's company.

"... That's really nice of you... to offer me a place to stay again... without Jake being here and all... but isn't Jake's sister gonna feel rather crowded with me here? I wouldn't want to impose."

"Nonsense!" Billy sighed. "Jake's sister has been eager to stay at the small inn they have down town. It's cheap enough for her to rent out a room. She mentioned doing so this morning before she left to meet an old high school friend for breakfast at the diner. You wouldn't be imposing on anyone, dear."

I was humbled by his gracious offer and kindly accepted it.

"Thank you, Billy."

"Yea... sure appreciate it, old timer." Charlie added. "Makes things easier with Renee and Phil in town. She's due to drop in and check on you soon. I tried to talk her out of it, but you know Renee. Once she gets something set in her mind, aint no stopping her from following through with it."

"I am well aware." Billy chuckled with a knowing nod. "It will be good to see her. I really don't mind. Has she been right full of questions?"

"Yes." Charlie and I both answered simultaneously.

"I bet she is." Billy laughed. "What have the two of you offered up for explanations so far?"

"We lied and told her you had sent us on some important errand. Sorry Billy... we kinda had to improvise and used you as an excuse for her." Charlie explained.

"No need to apologize, friend. I know how this goes. It's hard to keep something so big from your loved ones. It was pure hell on me to keep it from you for as long as I did."

"I don't have a clue in hell what we're gonna do. She will find out soon enough... I fear." Charlie huffed.

"How do you know that?" Billy asked.

"Cause it's Renee..."

I sighed and Billy nodded in understanding.

"Well, for now, we have to take things one day at a time and we'll deal with telling her the truth when the time comes. If that is indeed a bridge we have to cross, aint no real sense in fretting over it right now."

"I know... we'll have to wait and see, Billy." Charlie replied. "Well... thanks for the coffee and letting Bella stay here. The roads are still kinda slick, so if you head into town later, please drive safe. I gotta get headed into the station."

Charlie hugged me and waved to Billy as he headed out the door. I stood on the small porch and waved to him as he backed out of the driveway, the cold morning air making me shiver.

I couldn't help but linger there for a few more moments after his cruiser was long out of sight. Despite the freezing temperatures and my shivering, I wanted to look... for just a moment... for him.

I scanned the edge of the tree line, squinting my eyes and searching hard for any small movement or color among the heavy white that now blanketed everything. I looked in every which direction, searching and searching and coming up empty.

I stayed out there until I heard Billy's voice call my name from behind me.

"Bella... you'll catch your death out there, dear. Come on back inside."

I trudged back in through the front door and hurriedly closed it as I tucked my hands back inside Jake's heavily worn sweatshirt. The color was faded and there were a few holes in it, but I didn't care. He had worn it... all the time... It smelled like him and I hated to even think about taking it off.

"Here..." Billy soon whispered to me, holding out my warm cup of coffee.

"Thanks." I smiled to him, glancing toward Jake's closed bedroom door, now longing to see him open it again and greet me with a good morning kiss. The same way he had countless times when I had stayed here before.

Billy was aware of my gaze and he soon followed it. "I miss him, too, Bella. He'll come home. You have to believe that."

I nervously drew in my bottom lip as his words weighed heavily on my mind. I wanted to place my faith and trust in what he said... to truly believe that he would be back, but I was beginning to struggle in doing so. I had heard the legends too... like all the rest of them... I knew how long something of this nature could last and it scared the hell out of me to think of Jake being gone for weeks... months... or longer and missing out on so much in the process.

"How did Jake's mother do this, Billy?" I asked in a breath to him. "Not knowing... always wondering... it's killing me... day by day."

"My wife... Lord rest her soul... would pace the floors with worry over me and still keep her faith that I would return. I was gone once for almost six weeks. It wasn't too long, compared to some, but it was more than long enough for her. I hated to put her through it, and I know my son is feeling the same sense of guilt for putting you in the same miserable position now. But it was unavoidable. He did what he had to do. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do. I know he needed that strength... and I knew there was a risk."

Billy glanced toward his room with a heavy sigh... "Well... I'm glad he left_ some_ clothes in his room, anyway. It's proven to be a source of comfort for you."

I couldn't help but hear the emphasize that lingered over his use of the word 'some'...

"What do you mean? He only left_ some?_ Some of his things are missing?" I asked, getting up from the couch and swiftly heading for his room.

"No, no!" Billy yelled after me. "That's not... what I meant. I meant ... I was glad he'd left you something worn of his to wear."

I paused and shook my head in confusion. "But you said he-"

"I know." Billy dismissively chuckled. "I get mixed up in my old age, you know. Never mind me. I have some errands to run in town this afternoon. Would you mind taking me? I'll treat you to lunch? Gets us out of this house for a while?"

"Yea... um... okay... sure." I replied, feeling confused still by his sudden need to escape his home. "I'll just take a minute to shower and we can go?"

"Sure thing, dear. Take your time. I'll be waiting when you're ready. No need to rush on my account."

I offered him a small smile and headed into their bathroom for a warm shower, my mind replaying the panicked look on Billy's face when I started for Jake's room as I went. What the hell was that about?

Billy had just mentioned to me last night that I was welcome to sleep in there if it made me more comfortable and now, it almost seemed as if he was trying to purposefully deter me from going in there. I soon climbed into the shower and sighed in relief as the warm water began to caress my skin. It's warmth, relaxing my tense muscles from all the stress lately and it's steam, leaving me refreshed.

When I was ready to emerge a short time later, I heard Rachel's voice carry down the hall.

"Is she feeling better?" She asked Billy.

"Yeah... She slept through the night and even kept down her dinner."

"Good... Look dad... I booked a room at the Inn there close to Forks. I don't want you to worry about where I stay, alright?"

"I know your independent. Always have been. If you're more comfortable there... that's fine with me, honey." Billy replied.

"Is Bella staying here with you? I know Renee and her husband are still in town, right?"

"Yes... I offered her a place to stay here. It's crowded over to Charlie's right now."

"I'm glad she seems to be getting over that flu. Two of my friends had it last week and it put them out of work for three days. There's a nasty case of it lingering around this season." Rachel explained.

"She does seem to be on the mend..." Billy replied.

I hated to hear that he had been forced to tell her yet another lie for my benefit now, but with Jacob being gone, I could understand why he had.

"So when the hell is little bro supposed to be back anyway and remind me again what was so urgent for him to leave town right now? When Bella is sick... of all times? I gotta tell you, dad... that sure in hell doesn't sound like him."

I could hear the heavy suspicion in her tone to Billy and knew we were already on borrowed time with her. The lying game would soon be up.

"I could kick his ass for leaving like he did. You weren't even out of the hospital yet!" Rachel yelled.

"I know... Just cut your brother some slack, alright. If Jacob thought it was important... than it was, Rachel." Billy replied in Jacob's defense.

"Of course it was. Well... when he gets back... he and I are gonna have a long talk... I assure you that much. I'm off to the library okay? Do you need anything before I go?" She offered.

"No... I'm alright, honey. Bella is taking me into town here shortly. I'll see you for supper later?"

"I'll be here!" She replied, as her footprints trailed across the floor, the door soon opening and shutting with her departure.

I dressed and felt my breath hitch a bit when I laid Jacob's worn sweatshirt down. I wanted to stay wrapped up in it all day and as soon as we returned from town, that's exactly what I intended on doing for the remainder of the evening.

I soon helped Billy into my truck and we sped off for town. The roads were still slick, as Charlie had said, but despite the difficult travel conditions, the newly fallen snow from last nights storm, had only made the town all the more beautiful.

The Christmas season was now upon us and the town was full of its festive displays. Lights of every Holiday color now decorated the many houses along the road and the pretty sight of them put a fleeting smile on my face.

"Christmas is coming, Bella." I heard Billy say from the passenger seat. "Beautiful time of year, isn't it?"

"Sure is." I replied, pulling onto the main road. "It's my favorite time of year..."

"I know... your face always lit right up when Charlie used to string up the Christmas lights on the porch at your house. The older you got, the more he added." Billy chuckled. "... Jake... used to get the same way for the Holidays... but when his mother died... that part of him changed for a long time... but I've seen it come back now... with you."

His words had my vision blurry as we entered town, and though I kept my emotions reigned in for the remainder of the drive, in my mind and in my heart, the saying that I had heard a hundred times or more in a popular song growing up... now rang more true than ever before.

What more can I do? All I want for Christmas..._ is you._


	74. Chapter 76

**A/N: Hello to all of you! I hope your Holidays went well and you enjoy reading this next chapter. I assure you, this journey will be well worth the read. Till next time... HAPPY READING! :)  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - FIVE**

**(JPOV)**

I had lost count of the passing days some time ago. All of them becoming empty, routine and never ending for me now.

I was beginning to slip away from my humanity altogether. I could sense it in my bones, like that of a fast approaching storm. I could feel it's impending doom. The beasts demanding and heavy spirit was unwavering and this made me fear that I was here for the long haul, caught up in a rip tide that I was drowning in. I had no strength left in me to change the current, for the under tow was too strong for me to withstand.

How the hell can you fight something that is within you - and win?

I feared there was no true answer to that one question. The very same one that had haunted me endlessly for days.

I slowly rose from the frozen ground, where I had sought shelter to rest, shaking the cold snow from my thick fur and setting off on a dead run for a kill.

I needed to eat... needed my strength and while eating in the raw, had never been something that bothered me, it was definitely not what I preferred over a hot meal at the dinner table, surrounded by the ones I loved.

For now... for however long this stint may endure... it would do.

It took me no time to sink my teeth into an unsuspecting doe about four miles into the hunt. I took her down with ease and made sure her discomfort was quickly ended. I was one with those who roamed the forest now, and they deserved my respect no more or less than a human did.

When I had finished indulging in my fill, I sought out the river for a drink, my muzzle still dripping with blood from the doe as I drank from the small opening the ice had given way to. It's taste and arctic temperature, refreshing, but required.

In the forest, I was one with my surroundings and the human side of me was growing more and more weak as the days went on. The cycle seemed endless... days turning into nights and nights back into days... without the feel of any human contact. I was a lone wolf and the longer I carried on like this, the harder it became to stay close to Forks and not wander where the beast pulled me to.

The sound of a branch snapping loudly from behind me, had my head rising from the river with haste, and my ears pinned back as I turned around with a warning snarl to whomever may be lurking close by.

I had heard no one phase into my thoughts now for days and was bewildered when my wolf gaze landed on an unsuspecting and equally timid Seth.

My mind was immediately over run with his sadness from the loss of his mother and I forced myself, despite the beasts angry protest, to stay where I was and not run from him. I was ten times faster than he was and it was no big secret that I could leave him far behind if the beasts dominance pushed back hard enough.

His wolf gaze was hesitant to meet my own as he approached me, one small stride at a time, as I backed myself away from the rivers frozen edge.

_"Jacob?"_

"_You followed me?"_ I asked him in reply, seeing him stop his advance toward me upon hearing the clipped town I addressed him with.

It was an asshole move, I knew it, but the beast couldn't give two fucks.

_"I did... I have been for a while..."_ He admitted, hesitantly raising his head to meet my stare.

_"You shouldn't have."_ I barked out harshly, turning to walk away from him.

_"I know... But I also that's not you talking right now."_

I stopped where I stood, feeling the pull to keep going from the beast, wrap itself around me with heavy weight. I forced it back and turned to see his gaze wander over to the nearby mutilated deer.

_"I wanna stay here... with you... I won't bother you, I swear."_ He suddenly offered up.

I bit back the snarl that threatened to leave me. The beast becoming instantly agitated at the idea of him being around. His intent was selfish... his intent was to be alone. To starve the man I was from any and all form of human contact... human emotion. It was his sure fire way of winning and I had to admit, so far... it had fucking worked.

Seth took another cautionary step my way, his head now low in submission.

_"I'll do what you ask... whatever you demand of me. I know you're my alpha.. and I respect you."_

My reply to him was solid and quick. _"No..."_

_"The man you are would reconsider..."_

I huffed in frustration at his remark, though the beasts mind remained unchanged.

_"No... Go back."_

Despite this dismissal, Seth stood his ground, his head rising up to see the beast snarling from the misunderstood threat. I reigned it in and saw Seth's empty gaze come to reluctantly meet mine.

_"A lone wolf cannot survive... you need someone... I'm volunteering to be that someone, because the man you have prisoner ... he's my friend ... my brother and greatly missed by many. So with all due respect, my Alpha... I ask you to reconsider."_

Fury mixed with agony tore through me as I was then forced to behold his vision of Bella... her eyes red rimmed as she cried to Paul over missing me.

The beast roared and approached Seth as I forced back the heavy weight of fury and took what little control back I could.

My words to Seth then were few, but enough for him to understand the condition of his stay.

_"I have no true destination..."_

_"I know and I don't care. Where you go - I go."_ He replied with conviction to me.

_"... if that leads you far?"_ I countered.

_"So. Be. It..."_

I huffed again, feeling the beast begrudgingly take Seth's offer.

I was relieved to know he would be here and relieved to know that the beasts reign would no longer go without challenge.

The rest of the day was spent running. Whether we were running to something or from something, I couldn't be sure, but I knew one thing... Seth's presence was beginning to leave the beast unsettled and riddled with nervous energy.

I paced back and forth, now stopping by the border of Washington as the evening drew near.

I had to hand it to Seth... he had stayed mostly silent and kept pace with me rather well. His thoughts had become closed off and I couldn't help but wonder if he too was playing a game here. Whatever it was... his strategy was working and I could sense the beasts unsettled spirit as we hunkered down for the night. The location, being only a mere two miles away from Charlie's back yard... from Bella.

The night was long and restless for the both of us. Come midnight, the beast began to pace again and my instincts were telling me that he was growing more and more uncomfortable with Seth's presence. I payed close attention to what seemed to agitate him the most and could pinpoint it better whenever Seth would share something with me.

_"Mom used to love nights like this. She loved the snow..."_ Seth sighed as I gazed up to the moon. Though I remained silent, he continued on.

_"She was a sucker for hot chocolate at midnight. Loved to come wake Leah and I up and talk... about anything and everything."_

I huffed in encouragement to him as I picked up on the beasts growing agitation from the mere mention of such a memory. Seth took the subtle hint and kept talking away.

_"Remember when she used to bake all those peanut butter cookies... for you and Billy? By the damn dozen!"_ He chuckled, his tone growing distant as his gaze met mine.

Do I remember?... Of course, I remember. Sue had taken care of Billy and I for years after mom died. Fixing us meals... taking dad to his many appointments... you name it and she did it... all without so much as a single complaint or asking for a favor of her own in return.

"_She used to say that you and Billy were like a second family to us. She would always tell Leah to be wise when she chose another guy after Sam... She'd tell her to look for someone with heart and integrity ... like you, Jake."_

I had never known that...

_"You and your sisters were always on moms mind. Just like we were. She liked Charlie a hell of a lot, too. Would always gripe about him being too young to be a bitter bachelor in that house. That's why she was thrilled to see Bella come home when she did. She knew what she meant to Charlie."_

Bella ... Her face ... Her scent ... Her laughter ... Her voice.

I braced myself for the agony to come... the same way it had every night... the same way it would continue to until she was in my arms again.

The soul of who I was felt as if it had been removed from me. She had it with her... This I knew... and I was desperate to get it back.

_"Did you know that mom spent every winter knitting blankets? She would stay inside on a bitter cold day like this, and crochet till her fingers were ready to fall off. There's a whole damn bin of them she had made up for the kids... Ones that haven't even been thought of yet... and some that have..."_

His gaze met mine as his thoughts drifted again to Bella.

"_There's... yellow... pink and blue... She was sure to cover every color just in case. She'd always say that new parents have enough to worry about without the added concern for not having a warm blanket to swaddle their new little one in at night. Even though Leah and I told her that the future wasn't certain, she would make them anyways. Levi has one now... Emily keeps it close by... always."_

I heard his voice crack on the last word and it tore me up to feel and hear his heartbreak. It was all consuming and yet, here he was, out here and away from his sister, trying to help me.

Yeah... Sue had done well... and there would never be a man more caring because of it.

Thoughts like these continued, until the brutality of the beasts wrath forced them away from me.

Seth rose to his feet when he heard the sudden huff I made. My gaze switching to anger in an instant.

_"You can't keep him forever, you know?"_ Seth shouted, further pissing off the beast. _"He's not your submissive. You have to coexist."_

I was reeling in torment as the beast roared to Seth in rage from his bold and challenging remark. Seth backed up a few strides, seeing the raw anger pour out from me as I unwillingly stalked forward.

Like a damn prisoner being led to his cell block, I fought back as a memory flooded the confines of Seth's mind. The images on display for me now.

It was a clear vision of my father... of his worry... of the many sleepless nights he had spent waiting by the kitchen window for me to return. I clung to them all in an effort to force my own free will back out. It was excruciating and I was fading fast.

This never ending struggle with the beast was daunting and I tried to ignore the small voice from within that told me to stop fighting and let him rule my fate forevermore.

'It would be easier...' - The voice would whisper. 'It would hurt less... I could stop this struggle.

Though I continued to try, I was soon surrounded by heavy darkness, the visions Seth had shared had been coldly ripped away from me in an instant, and only darkness remained. Maybe this right here was the death of my humanity? Maybe I would be forever held here... never to know what it felt like to hold the woman my heart beat for ... Never to feel her in my arms again.

After everything... After all... was this where my destiny had taken me?

When the darkness faded away from me, like that of a heavy fog dissipating, I struggled to move and found the effort to be a new level of torment for me.

I opened my eyes to see the moon lights glow upon me. Its light, casting shadows all around. A voice soon called out to me as I tried to stand. The voice was soothing and a comfort I immediately recognized from home. A voice I had missed so much... A voice I had not heard since I was a boy.

"Jacob..."

I stumbled forward, seeing the moonlight now come to touch the face of my mother. The sight of her making me instinctively reach out to touch her. When her hand caught mine, I was certain that this was what death was... that my humanity was gone... Forever.

Her words were as softly spoken to me as I remembered them to be.

"My boy... How you've grown... you're no longer little."

"Mom... You're... real?" I choked out to her in reply, still disbelieving what was right in front of me.

"To you... yes..."

I shook my head, feeling her hand slip from mine as she read the sure panic on my face. "No... No..."

"Shh... it's alright... "She cooed, in the most natural and familiar way. The very sound in her tone, bringing me back to the days of being just a little boy. When monsters and magic only existed in the stories she would tell me before bed.

"I'm... "

"No... You're not gone, Jacob... You have not lost the man you are..." She assured me.

"But... you're here... with me... that can't be..." I choked further, taking her face in my hands.

"I always watch over you and your sisters... and your father..."

I shook my head again, in a vague attempt to wake up.

"I'm... dreaming... You're not really here..."

She sighed, placing a kiss on my cheek as her hands came to rest on my chest, just above my heart.

"I. Am. Here... in your heart. You, my son, are in the fight of your life and I am here to help you... here to guide you back to yourself... to the man that you are. I am here to show you the way back home and to give the man I am so proud of... Back to Bella. It won't be easy... but it can be done."

"How...?" I breathed in shock to her.

"Follow me and I will lead the way."

Her hand took mine and I was overcome with emotion when I felt her small fingers lace with my own. A feeling I had not had since she was taken from us. I pulled her to me as my tears fell, feeling as if I were a small child again.

"Tell me how this is possible..." I cried.

"Some things are better left unexplained, my boy. But rest assured that I have watched over you as you've grown... your sisters and your father... I've seen you all change. All of you growing in different ways and all of you with heavier burdens to bear than most ever know. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there for you then... that our time was cut so short... but now... I can be and I am here for you, Jacob."

I felt her place another kiss on my cheek as she took my hand and lead me further into the forest. I willingly followed her, feeling a piece of myself come to be whole again by her mere presence.

"Come with me..." She whispered, as the moonlights glow faded off into the distance behind us.


	75. Chapter 77

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters belong to, and are the sole property of the great and talented Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: The time has come for yet another chapter update :) I hope this new year finds you all well! I hope you will enjoy this next chapter. Be sure to look for more to come this week! Thank you so much for your continued support of this story. I look forward to your reviews and as I always say... HAPPY READING! :-) xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY- SIX**

**(BPOV)**

Christmas music blared loudly through Charlie's living room as he trudged down over the stairs with a huge tote, one that was nearly as heavy as he was.

I placed the book I was reading in my lap and glanced over to see him plop it down in front of me.

"Well..." He huffed with a nod. "Tis the season, Bella. Come on... why don't you put that novel down for a bit and join us in decorating?"

"Dad..." I sighed. "You've never been one to decorate more than the front steps and a few shrubs out front for Christmas..."

"You're right... but ... this year... your mom and Phil are here with us for the Holiday and uh..." He stammered..."With everything that's happened around here... Sue's passing and her funeral yesterday ... and Jacob not returning home yet... I figure we could use all the Christmas cheer the season has to offer... don't you agree?"

I inwardly grimaced, as I saw him pull the lid off the over stuffed tote and begin to remove the many disheveled lights and tangled heaps of garland. His own look becoming less than enthused when he saw the tangled mess now before him.

I couldn't help but laugh when he huffed in frustration, as my mother came in with a plate full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that she had recently pulled from the oven. Her mood chipper in spite of Charlie's frustration.

We had been shamefully lying to her these past few weeks, telling her that Jacob had left town unexpectedly to help his sister Rebecca and her husband move. It was a bull faced lie and it tore me up to look her in the face and spew such deceit, but Charlie and I felt that a small fib would surely be better than to plow her over with the harsh truth, at Christmas time, no less. So, we stuck with this story and tried to cover our tracks any way we could whenever Renee would get suspicious, which she would... often. She had grown very angry with Jacob in his absence, feeling as if he had simply abandoned me for the Holiday, and while I hated to continue on with the charade, I felt as if we had no other option.

"Cookie anyone?" Renee offered, placing the plate down before me. The smell alluring as I took one.

"Renee... These damn lights are a catastrophe to untangle." My father griped.

"Oh Charlie... give them to me and I can get it!" She insisted.

"What makes you think that you can undo them if -"

"Because ... some things just simply need a woman's touch." Renee interjected.

Charlie began to laugh as he snatched up a second cookie.

"Yeah.. Okay... sure they do, Renee."

I shook my head and couldn't help but marvel at their odd and unfamiliar banter.

"Don't be so dismissive, Charlie."

"Dismissive? I'm not being dismissive... just stating a fact."

"Well, the fact is Charlie, women do some things better than men do... I could list them if you'd like." Renee taunted.

"HA!" Charlie laughed. "I doubt you could-"

"You doubt do you?" She teased right back, shoving him playfully. "Who was it that always took charge around here for the Holidays? Baking... decorating... wrapping!"

"If I recall correctly... I was the master of wrapping presents. You on the other hand, couldn't seem to get the hang of it. Would always end up with the tape going in every which direction."

"Charlie!" Renee laughed, tossing the rolled up garland at him. He caught it with a genuine smile and I found myself lost in their moment. It was a rare sight to see them in this form. They always seemed to be somewhat on edge around each other, but right now, in this small and maybe even fleeting moment, I was brought back to the days of my childhood... to the days of when Christmas always held magic and my mother's laughter filled our warm house.

"You sure could throw a Christmas party back in the day." Charlie soon confessed, his gaze turning to me. "Your mother here could throw one hell of New Year's Eve bash, too, Bella. Back when you were just little. We would fill the house with twenty plus people or more."

"Really?" I asked, interested to hear more about this time in their lives. "Like who?"

"Oh... you know... the neighbors and a few of the guys from work would come along with their families, too. Then ... Billy and Sarah... they would come and Sarah would help your mother with the baking... She'd bring the kids along, of course, and by the end of the night, you were chasing Jacob around with handfuls of flour and our kitchen was covered in the stuff." Charlie laughed. "Sarah would always apologize for the mess but we never really minded. It did our own hearts good to see you kids have a good time. Come midnight... us adults would ring in the new year and you kids would be down for the count, all piled together on the couch."

The memory danced around in my mind as he continued, causing a physical ache to now reside within my heart.

"Renee ... You remember the time when Jacob tried to wrap his own present for Bella? The two of you couldn't have been more than three or so at the time, Bella ... and he had used half a roll of Christmas wrapping paper for this one tiny box..." Charlie chuckled... "It was the funniest thing!"

Renee grinned wide at the memory as she untangled the remainder of lights in her hands. "I sure do remember and I also remember... Sarah ... Her contagious Holiday cheer around this time of year. She always had a way to make you crack a grin. Billy... he loved her so much... he took great joy in her enthusiasm for life... he loved everything about that woman."

A silence soon came over us as Renee quickly wiped away a tear that had escaped, her voice shaky when she dismissed herself.

"I'm sorry... um... I better get started on that second batch of cookies... excuse me."

I saw her head for the kitchen in a hurry and I was quick to follow after her.

"Mom..."

She wiped at another tear and quickly went about with mixing up the raw cookie dough.

"I'm fine, Bella."

I placed my arm around her shoulders, seeing her eyes still glossy.

"You were close to Jake's mom... I remember... some of it..."

"Yes... I was. She was someone that I deeply cared for and respected. You know... before your dad and I split, we were all really very close. We spoke on the phone just about everyday and we all got together for dinner often. It was so sad when she passed away... I remember getting the phone call and wishing it had to be a mistake. She was so young... so beautiful... so full of life and love for her family. She was in love with life and in love with her family, too."

I sat down at the kitchen table and listened to her as she spoke more about Jacob's mother. The ache in my heart becoming all the more prominent as I listened on.

"Sarah would take you kiddos down to the beach when you were just old enough to run. She always loaded you up with sunblock and big sun hats... trying to keep you shielded from the suns rays. She would always tell me how beautiful your snow white skin was. You and Jacob would play on that beach for hours and hours. From sun up till sun down. She'd pack a big picnic lunch and by the time the day was done, you and Jacob were fast asleep on the ride home ... So much has changed since then..."

I heard the sadness in her voice when she briefly paused to place another batch of cookies in the hot and ready oven.

"She ... Loved to paint ... Loved to be one with her own creativity..."

"I don't remember that." I softly replied.

"You were so little then, Bella ... So very small."

"I wish I could remember more about her..."

Renee smiled wide again as her reflective gaze met mine. "She's not truly gone, Bella ... She lives on in her children ... in Jacob ... There are times I will look at him and feel her very presence in the same room. I swear ... she watches over them all. I believe this ... I guess a small part of me always has. Call it crazy or too enthusiastic for the supernatural side of life ... but I think Sarah is never truly far away. Jacob's smile ... his care for others ... much of that comes from his mother. That's part of the reason why I'm having such a hard time with understanding him leaving so suddenly like that ... to help Rebecca and her husband move right now? Before Christmas ... when you weren't feeling too well? That doesn't even sound like Jacob, honey."

I bit down on my bottom lip, sucking in a sharp breath as my eyes watered with the emotion her words brought forth. I stood from the kitchen table and gave her a small kiss on the cheek, before attempting to leave in naive hope that she would simply drop it, but her soft tone soon stopped me before I could make a successful exit.

"Bella... what are you not telling me?"

I froze where I stood, feeling my nerves settle themselves within my already upset stomach. I turned back to face her with as much calm composure as I could currently muster, though it was not easy.

"Mom - I - I... told you-"

She tossed the dish rag into the sink with a look of frustration as she intervened.

"No... No... Isabella Marie... I know for a fact that Jacob has not gone to see his sister."

I felt my heart race as she walked toward me, her hands on her hips and her tone now stern.

"Wh-" I began.

"Do you want to know how I know this? How it is that I know he is not with Rebecca right now?" She asked.

I simply nodded as she ushered me back over to the table where we sat down.

"... I know this because I called her myself... late last night."

I stared at her in disbelief, my hands beginning to shake. "You... did? You called her ... but how? You don't even know her numb-"

"I took her number from Billy's cell phone, when I was over there checking in on him yesterday before dinner. I called her and she acted like she had not a damn clue where her brother was or what I was talking about. I knew then that there was something much bigger going on here. I simply apologized for interrupting her evening and then explained to her that I must have been mistaken."

"Mom... I..."

The words were stuck in my throat. How could I face this right now? How could I tell her everything?

In that moment, Charlie came grumbling into the kitchen. His mood now sour from trying to untangle more lights. He stopped his murmuring the moment he saw us at the table. His eyes going to mine and then back to Renee with question.

"What's going on in here?" He asked, setting the lights down in front of us.

I remained silent as Renee simply shook her head. "Charlie... Tell me you don't know something that I don't? Is there something you're keeping from me... from Phil and I... about Jacob? Do you know where he is?"

Charlie cleared his throat and quickly grabbed a cold beer from the fridge, popping the top off in hurried fashion, and guzzling half the damn bottle down in six seconds flat.

His response to her was brief then. "Renee... I told you... Jacob is with Rebecca, trying to help her move.-"

"That's a lie!" Renee yelled, jumping us both into silence. "I called Rebecca... just last night... and surprise, surprise... Jake isn't there with her. She has not a clue in hell where he is. So... I'll ask you again... Are you keeping something from me? Do you know where he is?"

Charlie set the beer down and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder when he saw my tears begin.

"Renee... it's ... "

"What?" She cut him off. "Is he in some... sort of trouble... legal trouble? Is it drugs? Or alcohol? Gambling?"

I shook my head and felt my tears start to fall. Renee saw this and passed me a handful of tissues.

"Bella... honey, you're my daughter and I hope you know you can tell me whatever it is... because... all this... just doesn't make sense. Jacob loves you... I know he does... I can see it in the way he is with you... hear it in his tone of voice when he speaks of you... he was so excited to have us fly in for Thanksgiving... so happy to see the smile on your face. Him leaving this way... all of a sudden... it's simply not him."

Charlie sank down into the chair next to me, running a nervous hand over his face with a heavy sigh as he glanced my way with serious concern.

Truth was ... I was hanging on by a damn thread lately and this kind of confrontation with Renee was proving to push me to the brink.

It had been eighteen days since I'd heard the one warm voice that filled my soul...

Eighteen long days and nights since I'd felt him hold me... touch me... kiss me...

Eighteen sleepless nights without his warm body with mine... without his "Goodnight" whisper in my ear.

Days and days since I had heard his warm voice say ... "I love you..."

My heart felt shattered and my soul felt entirely void...

Renee continued with her accusations. Her words biting and harsh now with Charlie.

"Did he just leave her? Is he out there living some sort of double life or something? The two of you look as if you've seen a ghost every time I hint around his whereabouts? So just tell me ... would you!" She exclaimed.

I was ready to crumble when she began yelling as Charlie remained silent. His gaze switching from her to me and back again several times, and his expression becoming like a deer caught in the headlights.

I was shocked when Charlie suddenly stood up from the table with an angry glare on his face for her harshness.

"Look Renee... Don't you think if it were so damn simple that we'd tell you already! But the truth is... it's complicated as all hell and it's not something you can just-"

He was interrupted then by the sound of Phil coming in through the front door.

"CHARLIE!" He yelled. "GET YOUR GUN!"

We all rushed out to the living room to see Phil's frantic expression as he ran to Charlie.

"What? Get my gun. What the-?" Charlie huffed in confusion.

"There's a damn WOLF IN YOUR BACK YARD!" Phil yelled back.

I was out the front door before my father could even respond. I ran down over the steps into the bitter cold snow, wearing nothing but my slippers and pajamas.

I saw the the russet fur glimmer in the sun as my wolf disappeared back into the forest. I ran after him, desperate to see him. I had nearly reached the border of the forest when a firm arm caught me by the waist. I struggled against it's pull, thrashing and screaming.

"Let me go!" I yelled, as I was spun around to see Paul suddenly there. His presence unknown to me until now.

"You can't follow him, Bella. It's dangerous."

"Dangerous!?" I yelled back, harshly pulling out of his grasp. "What makes you think-"

"I don't think -** I know!**"

I shook my head and glanced back toward the woods, feeling my body shake with anger and emotion as I whipped back around to face Paul.

"You don't know! He could be needing me and you shouldn't be so pompous as to interfere with that!"

"He made us **promise** to look after you, Bella."

"Even if it means keeping us apart?" I shouted, my voice shaky and my tears on endless supply.

"Yes... Even if it means keeping you from him. He's not himself! He is ruled by the beasts spirit and hostile right now. You could get hurt and Jacob would have to live with that torment every day! Don't believe me? Huh? Ask Sam and Emily how much fun that is!" He bit back.

I quickly stormed out around him and was immediately halted in my tracks when I saw my mothers wide gaze as she looked over to Phil, who shared an equally terrifying expression now.

Charlie soon walked out around them and headed for me. His arms pulling me into a tight embrace as I fell apart for what felt like the hundredth time.

I sobbed into his chest until my legs felt weak.

"He's never coming back..." I cried.

Charlie shook his head as his gaze scanned the back yard. "Yes he will, Bella... he will..."

I clung to Charlie for support as we all made our way back inside. My mother going mute as she sat down on the couch. Her blank stare telling me that this would only be the beginning of a very long discussion. One that I felt equally unprepared for.

Minutes went by and no one said a single word. Even Paul remained silent as he stood by the front door, his expression becoming a contorted mix of concern, order, and dread, all wrapped up into one.

"Paul?" My mother soon asked. Her voice just a breath as she spoke to him. "Paul Lahote?"

Paul glanced toward my mother and offered her a nod of recognition, though his rigid stature did not budge.

"I knew... your mother... briefly... You were just ... a small boy the last time I saw you."

Charlie cleared his throat and began the long conversation that I had been dreading for weeks now.

"Renee... Phil..." He sighed. "There are some things you need to know. Some things that I myself was unaware of until recently."

Phil nodded but his gaze remained on Paul, who continued to stand as still as a damn statue, his muscles prominent and his shirt missing.

"Clearly..." Renee vacantly replied.

"I just need you to listen and I'll explain-"

"Explain?" Phil interrupted. "You mean... explain why it is that Bella ran out of this house the moment I mentioned the wolf in your back yard? And why this rather large young man over here by the front door is somehow involved in... well... whatever the hell it is that's going on?"

"Yes." Charlie replied, taking my hand for offered comfort.

"That wolf ... was huge, Charlie... unlike anything I've ever seen in my life..." Phil gasped.

Charlie squeezed my hand as he offered his next reply. "Philip... Renee... That wasn't just a wolf..."

"I know!" Phil exclaimed. "The damn thing is gigantic! Powerful looking! What the hell runs in these here woods, anyway?"

"No... You're misunderstanding me... I mean... it's... well... it's..." My father stammered.

Images of the man that held my heart suddenly invaded my mind, causing my raw emotion to return when I soon took the lead in this dreaded conversation.

"It's Jacob."

My mother turned her head toward me in alarming fashion when she heard my whispered truth. Her eyes grew to be strikingly wide, as she desperately searched my fathers expression for some kind of hidden explanation there to what I had just said. I could see it there in her gaze ... She was drawing the wrong conclusion. In her mind, she was horrified to think that maybe I had indeed gone bat shit crazy.

Phil shook his head and began to laugh in disbelief. "Haha! Wow... yep... that's a good one. But I gotta say kiddo... you should work on the delivery a bit." He joked, but his laughter soon vanished when he saw my tears. "Wait... Bella... you're... serious with this?"

I only nodded and soon felt the weight of the couch dip on my left side when Paul sat there and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. The supportive gesture kind and much needed.

"Bella..." Renee whispered in shock. "I - I... Wh-..."

Paul spoke up next. His tone kind and considerate when he addressed her, but still firm.

"What Bella says is true... and no... she's not crazy... not in the least. I'm a wolf, too, Renee. I could prove it to you if you'd like me to?"

My mother gasped and stared at him in disbelief and shock. "I'm... I'm dreaming... This cannot be real... someone slap me... or pinch me... something."

Charlie then spent the next hour filling my mother in on all that he deemed necessary to know for her sanity's sake, although, by the end of the conversation... I wasn't so sure she remained sane at all. Her eyes were still wide and her color had paled significantly since hearing the harsh truth.

I had tried to fill in any and all missing gaps that my father had skipped over and though my tears were hard to speak through at times, I felt a huge relief when I had finally told her almost everything.

"You... You mean to tell me that Edward... was a vam-vampire?" She stammered, clutching onto Phil's arm for support.

"Yes... he was a filthy bloodsucker and he deserved the ass whooping that Jacob unleashed on him."

I nudged Paul harshly in the ribs and saw his look of remorse when he turned to face me.

"Paul..." Charlie cautioned.

"Oh... sorry... that was a bit... harsh..." Paul thoughtfully recanted.

"You mean... Jacob ... took another life...?" Phil asked in a hollow tone.

"He did what he was made to do... what he was born for. As Charlie explained before." Paul replied sternly, but respectfully, in Jacob's defense.

"It's who he is Renee ... Who they all are." Charlie added.

"... and Sam ..."

"He used to be our Alpha." Paul clarified.

"Used to be?" Renee asked in a breath.

"Yes... " Paul hesitantly replied, meeting my gaze of concern as he explained. "Jacob took his rightful place... and while it may have happened in the wrong way... Things are set in place as they should be. Sam is now and always will be part of our pack. Jacob has done right by him and has made sure of this. That won't ever change. The heart of who Jake is remains the same."

"Renee..." Charlie sighed. "There's a lot more to explain here, but for tonight... we should-"

"No..." Renee snapped. "I want to know all of it..."

"Renee... don't you think we should take some time to process all this first-" Phil asked.

"No..." She bit back. "I've been left in the dark long enough and I'd like to know any other truths that all of you have kept from me."

I knew she would be cross with me for lying and so I chose to keep my head about me, despite her harsh tone and the torment my own heart was in. I willingly explained all that I could to her about Jacob's history and what it meant for our future. At the end of the long conversation, my mother went utterly mute and simply rose from the couch, grabbing her jacket and keys and rushing out the front door. Phil was quick to go after her, trying to get her to see reason before she left in such a huff. She was truly angry and worse, her silence spoke volumes to me. I would've much rather had her yelling and screaming at me for the remainder of the night then to have her carry on this way. Her silence conveyed to me how truly disappointed and hurt she really was.

My father watched out the living room window as Phil tried to talk her out of leaving. Their calm voices soon growing to loud shouts of difference in the front yard.

I was now thoroughly drained. My heart heavy and my eyes puffy from my afternoon of emotion.

Without so much as a word, Paul tightened his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder, my soul still feeling utterly empty without Jacob.

"Bella... I'm sorry if I was too harsh earlier..." He sighed.

I shook my head and patted his arm in assurance. "No... You did the right thing... deep down... I know Jacob would want it this way... for me to be safe."

"Still... I shouldn't have yelled. It was an ass move."

"I'm sorry too... For shouting at you... it's not your fault. You were just doing what Jacob asked you to."

"... He's not gonna be gone forever, Bella..."

I swallowed hard at the large choking lump in my throat as he continued to offer me words of encouragement.

"Jacob will come back. He knows that you're here waiting for him. He will continue to fight for his humanity, Bella. You know the kind of ruthless fighter he is... right?"

I nodded and felt his grip on me tighten all the more as he spoke again.

"... In the meantime... you have us... your inherited wolf family..." He chuckled.

I couldn't stop the small smile that spread to my own lips in return, as I lifted my head and met his sincere gaze.

"Thank you." I replied.

"You're welcome... and uh... by the way..." He smiled. "Congrats on your news..."

I smiled back to him and saw his gaze lower to my stomach.

"I'm ... nervous... and scared..." I soon admitted to him.

"Pretty normal if you ask me. I'm sure all moms to be get that way at some point. You holding up okay, though? Considering?"

"Yea... I'm tired a lot more... but I'm pretty sure that's from not sleeping so well at night. Worrying about everything... and now mom..."

"She'll come around, Bella. Just like your dad did."

Charlie turned when he heard this, a small encouraging grin on his face. "He makes a good point there, Bella. Took me a bit and it may take your mom a little longer, but give her some time and she will come to understand. At least that's the hope. She just left with Phil. Knowing your mom, she will come to see reason and be back later on tonight. With Christmas being just a few days away ... I sure hope she finds a way to work through all this."

I nodded and laid my head back on Paul's shoulder. His companionship being a great comfort to me, and his familiar warmth reminding me so much of Jacob's that I soon found it difficult to stay awake.

"Billy called earlier, Bella... was asking if you planned on staying down to his place tonight?"

"I can give her a ride over there, Charlie." Paul offered. "If she wants to go and if she trusts me enough to drive her truck." He laughed.

"I do trust you enough, Paul. As long as you promise not to speed through town like you usually do? Jake always said you had a led foot." I lightly teased.

I was half asleep as we drove down the snow covered streets in town, my eyes heavy and my heart aching for the warm and protective embrace from Jacob that I knew wouldn't come again tonight. I took notice of the many houses now all lit up with multi - colored and blinking Christmas lights as we drove through the reservation.

I felt Paul hit the brakes when we neared Billy's, causing me to glance over to him in question when he gazed ahead.

"What..." I softly asked.

"I did something today... earlier this afternoon before patrol." He sighed, creeping along the road at a snails pace. "I know you're not exactly in the festive mood this Holiday season, but... I just figured you could use some kind of Christmas cheer."

I watched as Billy's house soon came into view, the entirety of it now covered in every kind of Christmas light imaginable.

"You... you put all those lights up...?"

"Yep... well... Quil helped me with Billy's wheel chair ramp... Seth was supposed to, but he ... uh... took off sometime in the middle of the night last night... Right after Sue's funeral."

"Where is he?" I asked, concerned upon hearing this.

"He left Leah a note at Emily's saying he was headed to be by himself for a while. Said he needed some space. His moms funeral was really rough on him. I think he'll be back for Christmas, though. Sometimes letting someone have their space is needed, you know?" He replied.

"Yeah ... I can imagine he does... I saw how upset he was at Sue's funeral. Leah too... My heart breaks for them. I'm glad that Leah is staying with Emily and Sam right now, though. She needs the support right now." I sighed in reply.

"Jacob always looked after Seth and Seth looked up to him. I think this is all just too much for the kid to handle right now."Paul explained, gesturing to the lights with a small grin. "But Jacob always put some lights up for Christmas. For his dads benefit mostly but ... I know he'd want you to be happy this Holiday... even if a huge part of yourself feels missing without him."

I watched him get out of the truck and retreat over to my side, opening the door for me as the snow began to fall again. I stepped out and saw the lights begin to blink. The sight of them, making me feel a sense of joy that had been completely vacant from me lately. For I knew that Jacob would truly be grateful to Paul for this. His act of kindness making my heart warm for the first time in weeks.

I heard Paul's unsure tone come from behind me. "You're not... mad... are you?"

I turned to him with a small shake of my head as I met his unsure stare.

"No... I- I'm... truly speechless... I can't believe you did all this..."

I watched as a wide smile lit up his face while he overlooked his handy work. "Not bad, huh?"

"It's wonderful, Paul... what you did... I'll never forget... Thank you so much." I replied, hugging him with tears in my eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." He sighed, as I released him and headed for the door.

"Merry Christmas, Paul."

"Sleep well... I hope. If you need anything... don't hesitate to call? I'm running patrol till dawn, but I'll make a run by here before I head home in the morning. Check on you."

His care and concern made me smile to him with genuine thankfulness.

"Okay... I appreciate that. I'll see you over to Emily and Sam's for Christmas Eve dinner?"

"Sure will. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Paul." I replied, with a small wave as he tossed me my keys and headed for the woods. I watched him soon disappear into the cold darkness just as I headed inside.

The day had been long and my heart was still heavy, but in spite of this, I felt grateful for the kind of friendship that Paul had offered me tonight. He had been a true source of support and comfort for me when I had needed it most and though my soul cried out for Jacob, and my body had begun to physically ache from his departure, I was reminded tonight that in his absence, a solid sense of family still remained and I would never face this alone. This kind of reminder made me believe all the more in what my father had told me years ago.

Charlie had always said that family was not defined by blood alone, but by the loyalty of those who stand by you in the hardest of times. That it was not simply defined by relation, but instead shown by those who prove to be a constant help when you are in need. They are those who reach out to pull you from the soul aching darkness that threatens to devour you in your darkest hour.

I had now seen the example of the kind of true friendship and family he had described to me then and I was certain that without this kind of love in my life now, that this time would prove to be too much for me.

For I knew I would not make it through without them and I knew that wherever my Jacob was tonight, he knew this, too.


	76. Chapter 78

**A/N: A huge hello to all of you! :-) It is time, yet again, for another update and I have to say that this chapter was super emotional for me to write. I hope it touches all of you in the same way! As I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - SEVEN**

**(JPOV)**

I was certain that at any moment, I would be coldly ripped out of whatever heavenly surrounding I was currently in. The feel of my mothers hand in my own now, only serving to remind me of just how damn much I truly had missed her.

It had been years since I had felt her touch or heard the comforting and familiar hushed tone of her soft voice.

Years since she'd been by my side...

Years since her comfort had been near to me...

This all seemed surreal.

How was it that I was here with her in this moment? How was it that I could even feel her touch? Was I only being deceived? Was this real at all?

My mother soon turned to me as we came to a place I had never seen before. The house that she now gestured to before me, not familiar in the least, and as we stopped by it's closed gate, I felt her hand slip out of mine and I instinctively drew her near to me again in response.

"Don't be afraid, Jacob... I promise you... I am not going anywhere... I will remain here with you... by your side until this journey of ours is complete."

"How can I be sure you won't disappear from me? None of this even feels real to me... Where are we?" I asked, seeing her gaze turn to the front door of this house.

"Be patient... just a little while longer, my boy ... soon you will see."

I followed her gaze and heard the house door creak open. A shadow beginning to emerge there from it. I pulled my mother behind me, protectively, as it's figure became plainly visible in the moonlights effervescent glow. I felt my heart nearly stop when my eyes then met the empty gaze of Bella's. Her color so pale and her body appearing frail to me.

I stepped forward, reaching out to touch the lock on the gate before me and hearing it rattle in protest, as I tried to remove it and get to her.

My mothers hand soon rested upon my own, her touch effectively stopping my efforts. "Jacob... you cannot enter... not yet."

"Why?" I breathed to her in reply, watching Bella as she took another step off the small wooden porch of the house. "I have to..."

"No... you can't. You are here to observe. As hard as this may seem... you must follow this rule."

I removed my hand and saw Bella wrap her arms around herself, looking as if she may cave to the ground at any moment. The sudden sound of a small child's laughter then surrounded us, as I watched on in disbelief ... seeing what was truly before me in this fleeting moment.

A little girl came running to Bella, her small arms wrapping around her midsection with a loud giggle.

"Mommy!" The child laughed in delight. "Come back and read another story to me! Just one more?" She begged.

I stared at her in wonder and awe. Seeing her beautiful face that mirrored Bella's. Her hair long... Thick ... and rich in a dark chocolate like color. She was precious and my knees went weak at the sight of them together.

Bella held her close as the little girl clung to her legs for dear life. The sight of them capturing my every thought and reaching down to wrap around the essence of my very soul.

"Jacob..." My mother whispered next to me, as she gestured to them. "This is the future... a glimpse into what life would hold."

I felt the ache hit my chest like someone had thrown a damn brick at me, as I studied Bella's face. Her beauty remaining as pure as it had ever been, only her expression now appearing to be worn and weary. Her soft words to the little girl then were simple and kind, but full of undeniable heartbreak when she spoke them.

"Okay..." She sighed, kissing her on the cheek and leading her back inside. "I will read just one more, but then it's time for bed. No more procrastinating alright?"

"Okay mama!" The little girl replied with a smile, as Bella slowly closed the door behind them. "Tell me the story about daddy ... just one more time?"

I heard this clearly and felt my mother slip her hand in my own.

"Come with me... I will show you that which you crave to see." She offered, leading me through the gate that now opened at her soft touch without any further hesitation or delay.

We paused by the front door as her hand lingered there on the handle.

"She's-" I began in a whisper.

"Your little girl, Jacob ..."

My eyes stung with tears from her truthful words.

"She's... beautiful... perfect ... and Bella ... She's-"

"Grieving." My mother finished, leading me into the house. "Heartbroken..."

I felt the dread overwhelm me as I followed her further and further into the house, seeing the many photos that covered the walls. All of them unique and telling their own individual story.

Pictures of Bella and I when we were just kids ... pictures of the two of us when she had first returned to Forks.

I saw my mother take one in her hands and gingerly pass it to me. The photo was one of Sam and Emily holding Levi, each of them wearing a wide grin and Levi appearing to be much older.

"They are happy... still..." My mother explained, before taking it from me and swiftly handing over another.

I took the photo she offered in my shaking hands. The image making me stare down at it in disbelief. It was a picture of my father, surrounded by the pack. His tired and aged appearance striking me hard.

"Your father... still wears the smile, but the light behind it ... went out years ago." My mother softly explained, taking the photo and quickly ushering me into the next room.

I stopped short when my gaze fell upon Bella, who was now huddled up in a blanket with our little girl on the sofa. A storybook opened in her hands as she read to her. I drew a little closer, my entire being now aching to touch them... hold them. The feel of my mothers hand on my shoulder, soon reminded me that I couldn't and it sent a raw torment through me as I watched Bella read on.

"Jacob... " My mother softly sighed from behind me. "Remember... you cannot embrace them."

"Why?" I breathed, feeling choked by my emotions. "Tell me why ... Why can't I hold them?"

My mother placed herself beside me then, taking my hand. "Because... that which you witness here has not yet been obtained."

"Obtained?" I questioned. "Why?"

I felt her pull on my hand, trying to steer me away from them now and lead me out to a new direction. I stayed firmly planted until my mother placed herself before me. Her loving gaze meeting my own when she spoke.

"Jacob... We have much to see... this is only the first stop. I need you to come with me."

"I - I... don't want to leave her... I can't leave them..." I protested.

"My son... in this time... you have already left them... long ago..."

I met her haunted gaze and watched in heartbreak as Bella kissed the forehead of our now sleeping little girl. Her eyes brimming with tears as she held her close, and the sound of her whispered words, knocking the wind out of me as she spoke them to her.

"Goodnight, sweetheart... Mommy loves you... and wherever daddy is tonight... I know he does, too."

I let my mother then pull me out the front door, where the scene before me rapidly changed from the bitter cold forest of the night, to the bright and welcoming sunshine of the day.

I turned to my mother and tried to go back inside the house, my hand gripping he door handle harshly when I felt it was now locked.

"I wanna go back, mom." I breathed, trying the handle again. "Take me back... please."

"Come with me, Jacob. Trust me..." She offered to me in assurance.

"No... mom... this is all wrong." I replied, feeling her usher me off the steps.

"It may be wrong... but it doesn't change it from being what is, my son."

"What is?" I gasped in horror to her. "Or what could be?"

"All will be revealed, Jacob. I promise you. Take my hand and let me continue to show you the way." She replied, touching my cheek in adoration.

I then walked with her through the never ending forest, our steps to me seeming to go in a circle now and making me feel as if we had become lost.

"Where are you taking me-" I asked, seeing the forest floor beneath us swiftly begin to change. The view ahead of me now, stealing my breath away and stopping me where I stood in hesitation.

"No..." I whispered in panic, seeing the many headstones that surrounded me. "I don't want to be here... Mom... I'm not ready for you to go back..."

"I did not bring you here for me to return from whence I came, Jacob. I brought you here to see another... to visit another..."

I felt her hand tighten in mine as she nodded to a stone ahead of us. It's surroundings well kept and heavily decorated with bouquets of fresh flowers. The many arrangements beautiful.

I unwillingly inched forward, taking it a step at a time, and feeling my knees give way when I saw my fathers name written in heavy lettering on the front.

"Dad..." I gasped, seeing the date on the stone and noting the year in which he passed.

My mother knelt down before his grave with me, her hands coming to cradle my face when the grief soon overwhelmed me.

"Remember... This is not the future that's yet been obtained, Jacob."

"Tell me it's not what is-" I begged.

My words were suddenly stolen from me when I heard the sound of a car door shutting. I glanced up to see Bella slowly approaching my fathers stone. Her hands clutching tightly to a large flower bouquet and her tears slipping down her beautiful face as she placed them on his stone. I got to my feet and reached for her without thought.

"Jacob..." My mother cautioned.

"I have to touch her..."

"You seek to hold that which cannot be held."

Her words cut through me like razors as I turned to see her solemn face.

"Would she be able to feel my touch? Like you?" I choked.

"I'm afraid not." She sadly replied.

Bella knelt down by my father's grave. Her tears falling as she wept openly there to him.

"Billy..." She achingly cried. "I sure do miss you. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you... wish you were here with us once more. Sometimes I feel so empty... so numb... like a part of me is buried here with you... and the rest of me is... well... missing. I would give anything to hear your laughter again... See your sunny smile. Charlie sends his love to you... he sure hasn't been the same since you left us... I'm not so sure he ever will be." She shakily rose to her feet and placed a hand on his stone as a sob broke out of her. "If you can... please remember to watch over Jacob... guide him... wherever he may be. I love you..."

I couldn't stop myself my trying to touch her. The drive to hold her was all consuming and as my hand tried to catch hers, she stopped and turned, glancing back toward the stone with such sadness that it damn near broke me.

"She cannot feel your comfort, Jacob. The two of you are worlds apart now..."

I watched in agonized silence as she retreated back to her car and hastily sped away. My own emotion trying to choke me as I turned back to see my mothers awaiting gaze. Her hand outstretched to me again.

"No..." I sighed... "This hurts... too much. I can't go on like this... to see Bella ... and my daughter and not be able to touch either of them! I can't hold them... comfort them..."

"You must go on, Jacob ... You must try." She whispered. "For we are far from done with this journey and we simply cannot afford a delay."

I followed her onward until I heard her haunted whisper as she stopped before me.

"This is where our journey will soon come to an end, Jacob. For this is where our steps have led us and this is where your are needed most to be."

I watched as she waved her hand up to the sky with a gasp. My eyes growing wide as the dense tree coverage hastily changed into a vision that held something else for me.

I instantly recognized the small house before us as the sky above opened up and began to pour down the heavy rain.

"Come..." My mother said, reaching out to me.

The house was the home that I had yet to reveal to Bella. The very same house that I ached to see our family grow to love ... craved to build a future with her in... making many lasting memories in every room.

"You must come with me." My mother clarified upon seeing my hesitation. Her own dreaded gaze making my legs slow to respond.

We walked up over the steps and I reached for the door, seeing it open for me easily, no entry key needed. My eyes then swept over the empty walls and vacant halls, causing a painful ache to strike me in the chest at the sight.

"It has never been lived in, Jacob."

"Never?" I replied to her in a ghostly whisper.

"No... Bella has never slept in this house. She feels it won't ever truly be a home without you in it. She has never brought your daughter here, though she herself returns here every night."

I turned back when I heard my mother re-open the front door, my gaze falling upon the figure approaching.

... Bella...

She headed for the steps with a heavy sigh, sinking down on them there in the pouring rain.

"She comes back here... to this very spot... where she waits and watches for you, my boy... only for you." My mother cooed.

I staggered outside to her, falling down on my knees in front of her, cradling her face in my shaking hands and growing more desperate to make her see me... feel me... know that I was with her.

My own emotion grabbed me by the throat when I saw her touch her chest and fix her gaze upon the tree line ahead.

"She waits and waits..."

"Every night?" I gasped to my mother, my tears spilling down with heartbreak now for Bella.

"Yes... each and every night... rain or snow... dark or daylight... it doesn't matter to her. She comes and she forever waits for you to return to her."

"Can't you make her feel me? Please... do something..." I begged my mother.

She sank down on her knees beside me then, her painful gaze now reflecting that of my own.

"I wish I could, my boy. I so wish that I could take this from you... but I can't. I don't posses that kind of power and I'm afraid that the hands of time have ticked speedily by in your absence and it seems as tho time doesn't love you anymore, my son. For it has been this way for eight long years now."

I shook my head to her in disbelief as Bella soon stood and began to walk away. The sight of her leaving enough to make me scream out in agony, feeling as if someone had ripped my fucking insides out.

"No... NO!" I yelled, clutching my head in my hands. "Tell me how I can control what I am?"

"You are and always will be the leader of your pack... A powerful wolf. This is something you cannot deny... something you were born to be, my son. But you can control the beasts reign. You must."

I leaned my back against the door of the house as the rain continued to pour down upon us.

"How... It feels... impossible." I gasped to her.

"It is not." My mother replied, placing her hand in mine. "You must fight..."

"I have... I've fought..." I replied, feeling utterly fucking helpless.

"I took you on this journey to show you all the heartache which you've seen... For a reason... I wanted you to see with your own human eyes what will become of your future if you don't continue to fight and win this war against the beast, once and for all. Bella will never give up on you, Jacob. She will forever wait for you. There will never be another man in her heart. She will take care of your daughter... and she will always be sure to place her well being first, but Bella's soul will be hollow and her heart will remain broken. For you are where her true happiness dwells, Jacob."

She then stood from the porch and offered her hand to me.

"What if I can't..." I replied to her, as we stood.

"You are many things, my son... but a quitter is and never will be one of them. I understand your fear, and my heart breaks over your pain. I assure you... there is no greater agony for a mother than to watch her child suffer and to be helpless in aiding them. This journey ... and showing you this ... it is all I can offer you and for that I am truly sorry."

I saw her tears and pulled her to me in a tight embrace.

"It's okay... It's enough, mom... it's enough."

She held onto me with trembling arms as the rain continued to pour. Her words to me then, only further breaking my heart.

"I will show you the way home, my boy... back to where you need to be so you can win this war... once and for all, but I'm afraid that our time together will be up when we reach this true destination."

I felt my throat nearly close as I held onto her tighter.

"I'm not ready ... I'm nowhere near ready to let you go again..." I confessed to her, seeing her pull back from my embrace with a haunted gaze of her own.

"I know, Jacob..." She sighed, touching my face. "I'm not ready either."

I wanted to keep her with me ... wanted to memorize every beautiful feature on her young face ... wanted to hear her voice and the comfort it offered for days to come .,. but as my mother had just reminded me ... Time didn't love me anymore and it's steadily moving hands waited for no one.


	77. Chapter 79

**A/N: Hi everyone! :-) I truly hope you are enjoying the first week of the new year and that this year brings all of you happiness! Thank you to all who have supported this story. It has honestly been an adventure to write and I hope that each of you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I have to give song credit for this chapter as well. Florence &amp; The Machine has been on repeat throughout much of it! As I always say... until next time ... HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - EIGHT**

**(BPOV)**

I awoke the next morning at Billy's house, slowly rising from the sofa and wandering into the kitchen to see a note on the table addressed to me. I snatched it up, reading the words and noticing that it had been left there for me from Emily. The words simple but filled with hope and sincere encouragement.

_Dear Bella,_

_I know your heart is beyond heavy, but hold onto the faith you have, my friend._

_Please know you are not alone. I look forward to seeing you for Christmas Eve dinner tonight._

_Please feel free to come on over whenever. I love you... we all do._

She signed it with a heart next to her name at the bottom, my own heart now feeling warm from her loving words as I set the note down.

I was more thankful for friendships like Emily's now than I had ever been before.

"Pretty nice note, huh." Billy said from behind me, his sudden presence startling me some.

"Yeah..." I sighed, turning to see his half smile to me. "Emily and Sam have been wonderful through all this... everyone has... especially you."

Billy wheeled himself over to the kitchen table with a genuine expression on his face. "You are family to me, Bella... Always have been... Always will be."

"You have done so much for me, Billy. I thank you... from the bottom of my heart." I replied.

He went to reply to me further, but stopped when we heard a faint knock upon the front door

"Your mother called here looking for you after you'd fallen asleep last night. She mentioned that she would be over here sometime early this morning. Looks like that time is now."

I met his gaze with dread and he kindly patted my hand in assurance. "Bella... like Emily's note said... hold close to your faith... it will all work out in the end, dear. Alright?"

I nodded and sank down into the table chair as he wheeled over to the door and let Renee in. Their awkward silence making the room feel uncomfortable heavy with angry tension as she approached me. Her expression was truly unreadable and I didn't know what to say to her in this moment.

"Your father informed me you had left to sleep here when Phil and I returned. I called to let Billy know I would be over this morning." She said. Her eyes full of anger still and even her tone stern with me.

"He just told me... I just woke up." I replied, seeing her take the open chair next to me.

"Glad you were able to sleep ... I sure in hell didn't."

"Mom... I love you, but I honestly don't have it in me to fight with you this morning."

"I'm not here to fight with you... but I would like a few moments of your time for you to listen to what I have to say."

"Of course." I replied, seeing Billy watching us now. My mother took note of his lingering presence and offered him to join us.

"Come on over. Billy. After all, this certainly involves you... doesn't it?"

Billy drew closer to us and let out a heavy sigh when he replied to my mothers cross tone.

"Renee... I have known you since we were just young, and you know I wouldn't keep something like this from you unless it was absolutely necessary."

"Really?" She snapped back, glaring at him with disgust. "I thought I knew everything there was to know about you, Billy. I mean... my land... I watched your children when they were just toddlers... talked with Sarah every day... and you-"

"Kept the truth from you for your own safety. We had no choice, Renee. Don't dismiss years of loyal and dedicated friendship over something we can all work through."

"Work through!" She suddenly yelled, standing abruptly from her chair. "This is not the kind of thing people just simply work through... or over come. You deceived me for years and to think... here I was ready to practically push Bella toward Jacob myself! All those times she would tell me how confused she was over her feelings for him... walk our halls with me in Florida at night and tell me how much she missed him. I had come to want her with him just as bad as Charlie did..."

"Jacob is still the-" Billy countered.

"No!" She snapped back harshly. "Don't you dare say that he is the same sweet young man that he was before... that's a damn lie, Billy."

"Renee..." Billy cautioned, his tone understanding, but his gaze narrowing at her from her misguided words about Jake.

"Bella..." My mother sighed. "I understand that all this explaining has been very taxing on you as well, and I know you are probably in no mood to discuss all this again, but... I came here to let you know that Phil and I are going back to Florida... tonight."

Her words had me rising to my feet with haste, feeling the heartbreak wash over me like an unwelcome current. "Wh- wh... what..." I stammered, reaching out for her. "But... mom... it's Christmas eve... and I thought-"

"I'm sorry, Bella. You are my daughter and I love you and nothing on this earth will ever change that... but all of this has just been too much for me to hear... I can't even begin to process it all... and trust me... I have tried all night long to do just that!"

She then grabbed her purse and turned to leave. My eyes filling with tears to see her walk away like this. I saw Billy quickly turn himself back around and follow her.

"Renee..." He yelled after her, stopping her advances to leave in seconds. "Your daughter is hurting in a way that I can't even begin to explain to you. The only one who could explain it right... would be Sarah... God rest her soul... and she isn't here with us. So...I'm asking you... begging you even... don't leave things like this. Stay here with us for Christmas."

My mother slowly turned back and met my tearful gaze, her eyes beginning to well up when I brokenly spoke my truth to her. My body shaking from the force of my heartache.

"I have to-" She began again in protest.

"Please don't go, mom." I hastily interrupted, my tears now falling for her to see. "I... I want you to stay here... I need you to stay here..."

She turned herself fully back around when she heard the brokenness in my tone. Her own tears soon spilling down her face.

"Please Renee." Billy added, placing a comforting hand on my forearm as I stepped forward. My words spilling out of me then like the levy of a dam had broke.

I felt utterly powerless to stop them. For I had been walking this thin line of emotional torment and heartache for weeks and I was far past the point of weary.

"I need you to stay here with me... mom... I don't know what to do- ... or how to feel- ... anything... I - I'm ... n-numb without him..." I cried to her, seeing her approach me when I collapsed down to the floor there in the kitchen. My breath stolen by the raw emotion that swept through me, and my sobs consuming me there before them.

Renee was quick to get to me when she saw my immense hurt. Her purse dropping to the floor without further thought.

"Bella..." She whispered, swiftly taking my face in her hands.

"I love him... and he's gone from me... the man he is... I can't even see him... or hear his voice... I don't know where he is... or if he'll ever come back to me, mom." I sobbed aloud, feeling her arms then cradle me to her chest like a child. "Please don't go... I need you."

She wiped my tears and held me as I cried endlessly there on the floor, unsure if I could take this anymore.

Renee glanced up to Billy then with an unreadable expression and I saw Billy's own emotion begin to show.

My words of truth continued to pour out of me with every body shaking sob and every tear. "He's still good, mom... Jacob is still Jacob... a good man. He would never hurt me on purpose... his heart is still pure... and I miss him... I feel like I can't breathe without him... and I want to hear his voice, feel his hand in mine... know that he's with me... I need him back with me now more than ever and I- ... I don't know how to get him back."

I raised my head to see my mothers frantic and overly concerned expression as she took my face in her hands once more. Her eyes locked on mine when I spilled the last bit of truth to her.

"... I... I'm pregnant, mom."

She looked at me with true shock as she glanced down to see the hand that I had rested on my midsection.

"I'm so sorry I kept all this from you... but please... mom... please don't go back to Florida."

She glanced to Billy again in disbelief and I saw his tears spill when he spoke to her in confirmation. "It's true, Renee... You're gonna be a grandmother."

My mother pulled me close to her then, her entire demeanor shifting from angry to nurturing before me.

"It's okay, Bella..." She cooed. "I'm right here."

I took the much needed shelter that my mothers nurturing embrace offered me with gratefulness. I cried there with her until my throat was raw and I was breathless.

When I finally pulled myself together, she helped me sit down on the coach and hurriedly made me a cup of tea. Her hands still a bit shaky when she offered it to me, as her small frame sat next to me.

I gripped the mug as her eyes met mine.

"How far along are you?" She asked, her eyes wandering to my still relatively flat stomach.

"I'm not absolutely certain... I haven't gone to the doctors yet... I want to wait for Jacob."

Renee's eyes widened in alarm with her response. "Bella... sweetheart... you must go to see the doctor. it is very important that your examined now."

"I know..." I replied to her in a shaky breath. " I just... don't want him to miss it."

She leaned forward and took my hand then, her words softly spoken, yet deliberate with me.

"In spite of all this... and even now... with all of it still so fresh... I can most certainly say that I know Jacob wouldn't want to ever place you in harms way when it comes to your health... not even for him."

I nodded to her in understanding, knowing damn well that she was right.

"So..." She sighed. "We need to make you an appointment with the doctor in town and get you seen... after Christmas... as soon as possible. You shouldn't terry with things like this."

I sipped the warm tea and saw her grab the blanket from Billy that he offered to me. She draped it over my lap and thanked him for it.

When he had retreated into the kitchen, I leaned in close to my mother and whispered my concern to her.

"Please don't be angry with him... with Billy... or with Jacob... They truly are the same loving, honest, and genuine people that they always have been."

"It will take me some time, Bella... a lot of time..." She admitted. "But ... I can promise not to leave you right now... to stay for the Holidays and for your appointment with the doctor."

"Thank you." I breathed in relief to her.

She tucked a lock of hair behind my ear with a sentimental grin for me. "You are my daughter, Bella... that always comes first. Does Jacob know?"

I nodded... "In so many ways..."

"What does that mean exactly?" She asked, a perplexed look on her face.

"He found out the news of me expecting when he was in wolf form ... but I haven't had the privilege of telling him in human form ... haven't yet experienced the joy of seeing his face light up ... I hope to though... Soon."

"You really fear he won't be able to come back?" She softly asked. "Charlie took the time to explain some more of it to me late last night, though I still have a hell of a time getting my head around it, honey."

"I know ... it's a lot to take in ... and yes ... I am scared ... so scared that he won't ever return to me."

Renee sighed and glanced at the photo sitting on one of Billy's closer end tables. Her gaze truly reflective as she reached over and took it in her hands. The picture was of Jacob and Charlie. It was the very same photo that was held up by a magnet on Charlie's fridge. The very same one that I'd clutched in my own hands the day I had returned to Forks.

"This is a good picture..." Renee sighed.

"I know... It's one of my favorites of them."

She raised her head and met my gaze then, her eyes brimming with tears.

"I've watched this kid grow up... even after your father and I split... I would get pictures of Billy and the children in the mail from Charlie. He was always kind enough to make doubles when he had a roll of film developed... and years later... when you came to live here with your father and he told me that Edward had left you in the woods like he had... devastated you so ... and that Jacob had taken the time to help you... I was so grateful to him. Your father told me all about it... well leaving out a few key details of course."

"He did help me, mom. He took his time with me. Helped put me back together." I replied, my voice growing shaky.

"I look at you, Bella ... and I see how much you love him and it scares the hell out of me ... because I now know all that surrounds you."

I took her hand back in mine. "I know that mom... but Jacob would never let anything happen to me... he will protect me like none other."

She nodded... "It's a truly encompassing and fierce kind of love the two of you share, isn't it?"

"Yes... it is." I replied.

"Bone deep..." My mother whispered, placing the photo back in it's rightful place. "That kind of love, Bella... would bring anyone back... from just about anyting... I won't pretend to know the kind of hardship Jacob is facing right now, but I am willing to bet all the money I have on him coming back to you."

I felt her hand come to caress my cheek when she saw my returning look of fear.

"Jacob isn't a quitter... I know that much about him still. He has too much of his mother in him to ever quit the fight before him. I don't know the risks to him... and I wont pretend to... but I do know that Sarah was a woman with great strength and courage... even in the worst of situations... she would always try harder and never give up. That kind of determination is with Jacob now. I am almost certain of it. If there is a way for him to come back... he will find it and he will return home to you."

I hugged her then, feeling her own embrace tight to me in return as I clung to her words. Hoping that my Jacob still held out that kind of fierce determination and that the beast had not yet successfully stripped it from him. I hoped for this... For hope was all I had left right now.

"Why don't you take a nice warm shower and we can go to Sam and Emily's together? I'm sure she could use the help in the kitchen with the big meal that she's planned to serve tonight for Christmas eve?"

"Okay..." I replied, releasing her and heading to the bathroom to get ready. I breathed another sigh of relief when I saw Renee approach Billy with a remorseful expression. She soon hugged him and it only made my tears return to see it. I wanted nothing more than for them to remain friends in spite of all this.

The drive over to Sam and Emily's was filled with Billy's holiday cheer. His robust laugher and Christmas carol singing, had both Renee and I in stitches.

"My word Billy!" Renee laughed aloud. "I didn't know you could hold such a tune?"

Billy laughed along at her remark. "Well... you know I don't have no voice of an angel, but it's Christmas and we should all sing along!"

He soon began belting out the worse rendition of Jingle Bells that I had ever heard. It was comical and we all got a much needed good laugh out of it.

When we arrived over to Sam and Emily's, she rushed out of the kitchen to embrace me. Her apron on and a wooden spoon in one hand when she pulled me to her and offered both Renee and Billy a soft kiss on the cheek. Sam extended a welcoming hand to my mother and she took it with a grin for him in return.

"Hi Sam." She said, looking in awe at Levi who was fast asleep in his daddy's arms. Just the sight making me ache all the more now for Jacob.

"Hello Renee... Billy." Sam replied, approaching me next with a wide grin. He soon pulled me into a one arm tight embrace. His hold on me comforting. "How you holding up?

"I'm ... okay..." I replied, meeting his gaze as he placed an affectionate kiss to my forehead.

"Make yourself at home." Emily beamed from the kitchen. "There's a game on in the living room, Billy. Just put out a cold beer and some peanuts for you in there, too."

Billy grinned widely to her as he stole a side glance over to Sam with a wink. "Woman after my own heart right there!"

We all laughed as he headed for the living room and my mother went silent when Sam suddenly held out Levi to her.

"Here Renee... someone wants to get to know you!" He sighed, placing Levi in her awaiting arms.

I drew close to them, seeing my mothers face change from nervous to awe abiding wonder in no time. She tucked the small blue blanket around little Levi as I kissed his cheek, seeing his peaceful face as he slept.

"He's precious." My mother soon cooed, walking contentedly around the kitchen with him as Emily went to work with more baking. I rolled up my sleeves and caught her gaze when she switched on the Christmas music.

"Alright... only five hours till everyone arrives here for dinner ... and when I say everyone ... I literally mean just about everyone... so I say we turn on the Christmas tunes and get busy baking... what do you say, Bella?"

Her grin was so wide, infectious, and genuine that it made me crack half a smile of my own as I nodded to her.

"Great!" She beamed. "This will be a Christmas Eve to remember!"

We were busy with mixing this and stirring up that throughout much of the afternoon and it made my heart warm to see my mother talking so well to Billy and Sam as she held little Levi. Her laughter reminding me that even though we still had a ton to work out and she would need time to process all we had told her... no matter what... we would be okay. Our relationship would remain in tact.

I was just placing a tray of rolls in the oven for Emily when my stomach suddenly churned violently. I clutched the counter and stopped where I was, trying to rid the sudden onslaught of nausea. Emily noticed my stature and halted what she was doing as she rushed over to me with a glass of water.

"Have you eaten anything today?" She asked, sweeping my long hair over my shoulder.

I shook my head, feeling ridiculous for not knowing better.

Emily went to work with grabbing me a handful of saltines and sitting me down at the table as my stomach flipped again.

"Here... eat some of these. They were my best friend when I was pregnant with Levi. Keep some by your side at night and first thing in the morning... trust me... you'll feel better. After all, morning sickness isn't always in the morning. It can strike you whenever."

I nodded and thanked her as I nibbled on them.

"You should sit and rest for a bit. You've helped me cook all afternoon, Bella and I thank you, but take it easy now... please?" She sighed, filling up my glass of water.

"Are you sure... cause there's still a lot to do before everyone shows up?" I asked.

"I'll be fine." Emily grinned. "Kick back and relax for a while. You gotta remember that you're taking care of two now... not just yourself."

I grinned at her in response and heard Levi begin to fuss in the living room as Renee handed him off to Sam. The sound of his soft cry reminding me that I would be hearing much the same soon enough. I watched closely as Sam cradled his son to his chest. The love on his face for his child being prominent and attention grabbing. He soon sat down at the table with me, feeding Levi a bottle and reaching his hand across the table to comfortingly squeeze my forearm.

"You need anything?" He asked, his eyes watchful of me in a way that reminded me of Jacob.

"No... thanks Sam... I'm okay... just a bit queezy."

"You let me know if you do?"

I nodded as he went back to feeding his son, his dark eyes studying his baby boys every feature, like he had just seen him for the very first time. It was truly mesmerizing to behold and I felt my soul ache to behold the same image of Jacob holding our own child in the very same way. I imagined what his face would look like the first time he laid eyes on our baby... how wide his beautiful white smile would be and how much adoration would pour from his very being for our baby.

I was soon torn from my thoughts by Sam's whisper.

"Bella... He is coming back..." He stated to me, seeming to read the tormented expression now on my face.

"I hope so..." I replied.

"I know so."

"How..." I breathed.

Sam inched closer to me, his whispered words making my heart less heavy when he spoke them.

"He knows you're here waiting for him... I know first hand that this alone is more than enough to bring him back."

I offered the best half a smile to him that I could as Emily placed two pieces of toast in front of me.

"Here... this will help calm your stomach, too."

"Thank you." I replied, as she rushed back into the kitchen to check on the rolls in the oven.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing that only an hour remained until the many guests would start arriving for dinner.

I secretly wished more than anything that one particularly unexpected guest would show up at the door and in doing so, put my heart and soul back where they belonged... with him.

Call it naïve... Call it wishful thinking... I called it divine hope and faith... For this was my only Christmas wish.


	78. Chapter 80

**A/N: Okay ... so this was one hell of a chapter for me to write and I hope it has the same impact on you! Once again, thank you to everyone who has followed along with this story and who has offered their continued support. I really look forward to your reviews on this one! As I always say... HAPPY READING :-) xoxo.**

**CHAPTER SEVENTY - NINE**

**(JPOV)**

Our steps were slow as we made our way to the unknown final destination of this journey. I took each step with heavy dread, knowing that my mother would soon leave me. It felt so unfair and I truly wished there were some way to keep her with me longer.

"I don't want you to go." I sighed, releasing her hand as the rain began to let up.

"Our journey is almost to an end and I share your sentiment, my boy. I wish with everything in me that I could stay with you... see you when you make your way back home... hug your father and sisters again... but time knows no mercy and when it is up... no amount of begging will stops its demainding nature."

"All this magic that surrounds us... and I have no way to get you back home with us... I hate it." I bitterly confessed.

She sighed and touched my cheek as she gestured ahead of us. The rain all but ceasing and the scene before us changing in the blink of an eye.

Snow began to fall around us, and I was suddenly standing in front of a home that I knew well. My mothers words whispered when she spoke them to me.

"Here... right here... This is your present. This is what is, Jacob. What awaits you tonight should you find the strength within yourself to overcome the beast and regain the man."

I heard the laughter coming from inside the home that I had spent ample time in.

It was a house filled with love and understanding. It was Sam and Emily's home.

I followed my mother as she drew us near to it, a grin now on her young and beautiful face when she glanced at the many twinkling lights on their front porch.

"This was always your favorite time of year, Jacob. Do you remember our time together when you were little? Around this time of year?"

My voice was hoarse and strained with my reply to her. "Yes... Of course I remember."

Her hand tightened in mine as she met my glistening gaze.

"Keep those memories with you, Jacob. Keep them close to your heart and you will never doubt my presence is near."

"Christmas has never been the same without you, mom. You made the Holidays."

She nodded in understanding as the snow began to heavily fall.

"You and your sisters... your father... you were and forever will be my abundant joy. Death cannot steal that away from us... it has taken too much already... but the everlasting love I have for all of you will never fade.. It will not deteriorate with time. Year and years can pass and my love will always be with you. Please remember that I am never far from you, my son."

I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill as she waved her hand, revealing to me a glimpse of the joy within.

Sam's house was filled ... corner to corner ... with people and laughter ... and love.

The entire pack was there, along with Charlie and Renee... Phil... my father. I heard Bella's beautiful laughter before I saw her. She was standing with Emily, holding a cooing Levi in her arms. Her smile wide and her face full of joy as she laughed along with them.

I took in the moment, seeing the abundant love there and noting that one person was missing from the gathering.

"Where's Seth?" I asked my mother, growing concerned at his absence.

"Seth is not here son... he is with you, still. He had not left your side."

"Wh-What? How is that possible?" I asked.

"Jacob... your wolf is still with him but the man you are has resided with me through this journey. All with reveal itself when you return. Trust me, son."

I turned my gaze back to the scene before me, hearing Emily's joyful voice as she ushered everyone around the table for dinner. Her soft spoken words striking me hard.

"I would like to thank all of you for coming here and celebrating Christmas Eve with us. I know it's a bit cramped and for that I apologize, but we couldn't be happier to have each and every one of you here for dinner this evening. Charlie and Billy... thank you for helping me prepare the turkey and for your continued jokes that kept us all in stitches most of the night. The evening wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining without your presence." She sighed with genuine gratitude. Her eyes looking around at all the smiling faces as they listened to her speech of thankfulness. "Each of you are so special to us and we love seeing you all here on this Holiday. We've faced a lot of hardships and recently lost someone very near and dear to our hearts." Emily softly said, before pausing and taking hold of Leah's hand as she laid her head on her shoulder. Her eyes welling up with emotion as she tried to continue. "Sue was, and will always be, one of the most kind hearted and giving souls we knew. She gave all she could to so many of us and I know I speak for all of you when I say that a piece of our own hearts went with her when she left this earth. She will be greatly missed, and I know... I believe... that she is looking down upon us with a smile on her face and a wish of well being for all of us in her heart. Sue always loved to celebrate the Holidays. She had such a joyful spirit about her... all year round. So... This year... I would like us to remember to tell the ones we love that we love them... not to forget in the rush of this busy life that each day with our loved ones is precious... a unique commodity that should always be treasured. Time has a way of slipping away from us... too fast... and tonight... on this snowy Christmas Eve... I want each and every one of you to know just how special you are to us... to know without question just how loved you all are. Each of your friendships mean the world to Sam and I."

Her voice grew shaky and I saw Sam hand Levi over to Bella as he wrapped an arm around his wife and spoke up on her behalf.

"What Emily said is true... I am grateful and thankful to all of you. Some of you have reached out to me when I wasn't very easy to approach... others have even gone out of their own way to offer me a helping hand when I had lost my sense of direction for a while... and for that... and so much more... I am truly appreciative." He sighed, glancing over to Bella with a true thankful grin. "We have a lot celebrate and a lot to be thankful for this Christmas, but ... our spirits are a bit worn and heavy ... because we are missing someone who is the heart of this pack... the soul of this tribe... and words can't express how much we miss him." Sam reached a hand over to Bella, drawing her closer to him and Emily and throwing an arm around her. The sight of it, making the lump in my throat return as I heard him continue. "We're missing one of our own... and his absence is hard to take right now... but I know all of you share my faith in his return... in his determination and strength. Jacob... wherever you are tonight, brother... you are loved and you are missed by us all." Sam sighed, reaching around Emily and grabing a glass that he hastily raised up. "I'd like us all to remember to keep our faith for our brother, Jacob. He needs it now more than ever and he needs to know that in his struggle... in his fight... he is not alone. So here's to him... to his safe return to us all very soon ... and heres to all of you... Merry Christmas."

Everyone then raised their own glass and followed Sam's toast with a "Here, Here."

The speech had me choking back tears as my mother met my gaze.

"Do you see how loved you are? How very missed you are, my boy?" She asked, reaching her hand up to wipe away my tears.

"Your pack needs you... your land needs you... your father and sisters... they need you... and most of all... Bella needs you... so much."

"I need them... all of them." I replied, taking her hands in mine as her look grew solemn.

"This is not the past or the future, Jacob. This is the present. All of this can be obtained... all of this can be yours again."

"What if I can't-"

She then drew me closer and whispered in my ear. "Listen... just listen..."

Silence quickly settled around us as the noise from Sam and Emily's home was drowned out by the unmistakable sound of Bella's heartbeat. It had my full attention as I held my mothers gaze... listening to every beat and aching to take her in my arms. It's beat was like music to my ears. I intently focused on it, hearing the sound now mixed with that of another. A different beat ... separate from Bella's. My eyes widened as I listened harder to the faint and rapid sound.

"Do you hear it?" My mother breathed to me. Her eyes showing her strong emotion as they glistened.

I focused again and heard the rapid beat continue on... The sound unlike anything I had ever heard before... unique and beautiful.

"That is the joyous sound of your baby's heartbeat..."

I stared at her in disbelief as the sound surrounded me, pulling me toward it with steady rhythm.

"It is the beating heart of the future, my son... of your future with Bella... of the life the two of you have always been destined to share."

I was rendered speechless as she embraced me, her tears running down her face as she whispered the words to me that I had dreaded to hear all along.

"My time with you is up, Jacob. I must go back now."

"No..." I replied, holding her small frame to me as a heavy ache struck me in the chest. "Please stay..."

"My heart will never be far from you, sweetheart. For it will always remain with you... your sisters and your dear father. Please send them my love?"

I felt as if my heart was being shattered into tiny fragments as she went to release me. Her tears endless and mine now beginning to fall.

"I'm scared I won't have what it takes to win this war without you... I'm... terrified I'll forget you as time goes on... as the years pass." I cried, taking her face in my hands. "I want you with me."

My mother placed her hands over my own with love reflected in her gaze to me.

"Do you remember what I used to tell you when you were just a little boy, my sweet Jacob?"

I shook my head in response, desperately trying to find a way to keep her with me.

"I used to whisper this to you when you were very young... after our ritual bedtime story... 'If there ever come a day when we can't be together... keep me in your heart... and I will remain there with you forever."

Visions of her saying this to me invaded my mind, making me weep openly to her in overwhelming heartache. My very insides feeling torn apart.

"I remember..." I gasped, seeing her slowly move back from me.

"You have what it takes to fulfill your quest... to win back your humanity, Jacob. I need you to trust me in this moment. Can you do that?" She asked, taking my hands back in her own.

"Of course." I breathed to her.

"Close your eyes and listen to that beautiful beating heart... Bella's beating heart... your baby's beating heart. Focus on them alone and all else with fade away."

I kept my gaze on her for a few more lingering moments, knowing that if I closed my eyes now, she wouldn't be before me when I opened them again.

"Jacob..." My mother cooed. "I love you. Close your eyes and keep hold of my hands. I have all the faith in the world in you, my son."

"I know you won't be here when I close them..." I sighed.

"But I will always be here..." She replied, placing our joined hands over my heart. "Trust me... close your eyes."

I reluctantly followed her request and felt a small gust of wind blow around us as her whispered words began to slowly fade from me.

"When you can no longer hear the heartbeat that calls you... open your eyes... and know that I am always with you, Jacob."

I listened closely to the sound of Bella's steadily beating heart. My hands suddenly becoming empty as the sound rapidly faded from me. I focused on it harder, trying to keep it close, but when I could no longer hear it, and the gust of wind subsided, I felt the hollow ache within my heart and slowly opened my eyes to see the snow covered ground beneath me and Seth in wolf form now before me.

I wanted to scream as I saw my skin had been replaced with that of thick russet fur, telling me that I was now back in the hell that had held me prisoner for weeks. I huffed loudly and pulled myself up from the ground, standing on all fours and seeing Seth back up from me in caution. His thoughts frantic as they came to me.

_"Jake?... What happened? Can you hear me? Are you okay? You scared the hell out of me!"_

I shook the snow from my fur and met his wolf gaze with a huff.

_"She's gone..."_ I soon replied in agony to him.

_"She? Who?"_ He softly asked. _"Whose gone?"_

I went to respond to him further and that's when the tremendous pain struck me. The all consuming torment that I had been locked in for fucking weeks, coming back now with a hungry vengeance. Its wrath enough to make me scream out in agony.

I thought of my mother... of all I had seen and experienced on our journey together and **I** **fought back**. Finding a renewed strength within me that had been missing from before. I roared in fury and saw Seth huff as he circled around me.

_"Jacob!"_ He yelled. _"Come on Bro... You can do this."_

I roared again and felt the bone shattering pain hit me next, my screams echoing through our linked minds.

My focus went back to my mother... to the journey... to what was waiting for me at Sam and Emily's and I forced myself to push harder. Forcing the beast back further and further... to the small confines of the cage he had dwelled in, my body protesting me with every effort made and my head full of all my mother had shown me. I heard Seth yell to me... his encouragement only making me try harder.

_"Don't give up!"_ He yelled._ "Keep fighting!"_

I was nearly out of all strength when I heard the familiar sound of that rapid heartbeat. The sound appearing louder to me than I thought possible. As if Bella were standing right next to me. I clung to the image of her... clung to the sound that surrounded me as I fought with all that I was to get myself back on two legs.

It was now or never. For I had seen what the future would be like if the beast continued to hold me prisoner and it was a fate I didn't want for Bella... a fate I hated to think of her enduring.

I felt the pain increase all the more as I tried to phase back. The tremors of protest making every bone in my body feel broken and every muscle stretched. It was an agony I would wish upon no one.

_"JAKE!"_ Seth yelled._ "FIGHT!"_

I could sense the beasts waning strength as I continued to push back against him, not allowing him to conquer me as he had before. The vision of my mother, the sound of her voice, sent another wave of renewed strength through me as I took him, and his unrelenting reign of power, head on. Throwing every ounce of will and fierce determination I had into the fight.

There was no more time to be wasted. As my mother had said ... Time waited for no one.

I felt the beasts protest as I reigned him in, forcing his spirit back as Seth yelled to me again.

_"One more time... Jacob... Just one more time! Don't give up!"_

The feeling of rapidly shifting bones and stretched limbs caused my hold on the beast to slip, his body bowing authority, washing over me like a mighty tidal wave from the sea.

I was tired... thoroughly exhausted... my very soul empty and my heart missing... and it was clear to me now, in this very moment, that I was either gonna win this fight with the beast once and for all... or I was gonna die trying. These were my only two options and as a vividly crystal clear vision of Bella holding our little girl in her arms surrounded me... I knew that the beasts reign was over.

I was taking my humanity back. For I had taken all I could and would take no more.

I pushed past the bone crushing pain that threatened to swallow me whole as I felt the beast pour out his angry vengeance upon me ... trying to halt my attempt to change back. I huffed profusely as he continued to challenge me, his strength fading and mine barely holding, as I soon collapsed in wolf form to the forest floor.

"JAKE!" I heard Seth yell in fear.

**Don't you quit...**

**Just give it one more try...**

**Just one fucking more time...**

A slew of profanity ran through my mind as my bones painfully shifted in protest of my change, and though the pain was torturous for me, I held my damn ground and soon saw the russet color fur_ fade_ from me. I clung with fingertips to the image of my mother as the last wave of agony hit my system. My body taking on the brunt of the beasts wrath and still somehow remaining in tact. I soon gasped aloud as my_ hands_ dug into the snow beneath me. My head raising to see Seth there in wolf form in front of me as he quickly phased back to human.

"Jake!" He yelled, coming to my side in an instant. "Bro... you did it! YOU DID IT, JAKE!"

I could hear him... every word he said... and my head throbbed from the brutality of the change... but I was in human form. My body still in immense pain,** but I was here.**

I tried to stand and felt Seth grab me firmly by the arm for support as blood dripped from my nose, forming large red drops in the pure white snow beneath us.

Broken.. exhausted... and unsteady as I was... I had fought the beast... **And I had won**.

I staggered forward, feeling Seth help me as I leaned against a large tree, trying to get the pain in my head to go away and regain my footing.

"I..."

"Jake..." Seth interjected. "You gotta take it easy, bro. Sit back down... just for a little while."

"N-No... I have to go." I replied.

"You're in no shape to leave like this. Not right now. You need some time to rest."

"No Seth... Listen to me..."

"Jake..." He cautioned.

"I have to go... She's waiting for me... Their waiting for me."

I clutched my head in my hands as it continued to pound. The force of the ache, making my stomach churn and causing my vision to blur some.

"You can't make the journey back home tonight, bro. No way... I'm pulling temporary rank here... for your own good. What kind of friend would I be if I just let you head out like this? You wouldn't make it far in the shape you're in. You've been trapped in that anguished hell for weeks Jacob... and what you just went through... what you just endured to get your humanity back... was enough to kill someone. You're staying put here... for the night. We rest. We can take off as early as damn dawn if you're strength is back by then, but not before. Now... here... put these on." He sighed, handing me a pair of cut off shorts. "I brought some extra from home when I followed you here... hoping you'd need them sooner or later."

I took them from him and lazily pulled them on, now hearing his tone to be assertive, insistent, but still respectful.

I truthfully didn't have it in me to argue further with him. I had no strength left right now. Every ounce of it had been put forth to win that never ending war with the beast and now that it was finally behind me, all I wanted was to run home and take Bella in my arms and never let her go again. But as much as I craved this... I also knew Seth had a valid point. I was a mess and in no shape to make the long trip back home. We were still miles away from La Push, and I could barely stand on my own two feet at the moment.

"Deal..." I soon sighed to Seth, sinking down by the base of the tree with his help and wiping the blood that continued to steadily pour from my nose. Every muscle and bone in my body hurt, but it had been worth it to escape the soul sucking hell the beasts captivity had forced me into. I was now free of his reign and back on two legs, my chest beginning to ache as I thought of who had helped get me to this point. Her face was crystal clear to me as I closed my eyes and remembered our journey together.

Seth took note of my silence and quickly spoke up with worry.

"Are you ok? Cause I'm not gonna lie, man... you look pretty bad... Should I run back home tonight and get Sam or something to come here and help you back home?"

"No..." I breathed to him with a shake of my head. "I'll heal.. slowly... but I'll heal. I just need rest."

He nodded and studied me further, his look of worry not fading in the least as he did so.

"Your mom... She is who helped you... Isn't she?"

I felt the ache grow as I met his gaze, wishing I could share the entire experience with him, but feeling too damn weak to.

"Yes." I replied, remembering that he had seen the visions from our linked minds when I had clung to them all so desperately in order to win the war with the beast for good. "She... brought me back... here... she gave me strength."

Seth's eyes grew teary with his next reply. "Yeah... mom's are good for that..."

I nodded and saw him as he went to turn and leave me be to rest.

"You sleep and I'll keep watch over you... of our surroundings." He then offered.

"Thanks man." I replied, seeing him swallow his emotions down with force as he glanced up into the sky. "Hey Seth...?"

"Yeah?"

"Your mom... she's up there too, bro. She will always watch over you and Leah... Don't forget it. I know for certain that she's still more than proud of the young man you are and the man you're gonna turn out to be. You came all this way out here to follow me, even though I was hard as hell to be around... but still... you stayed... you stuck by me, man. I'll always be grateful for that."

He nodded my way with half a grin and I weakly returned it. "You're... my brother, Jacob... in pack... and in life. You're like the big brother I never got to have."

"Thank you... again... for everything."

"That's what brotherhood is all about right? Having each others backs. So it's no problem. I'd gladly do it again if I needed to."

I nodded and felt my gaze grow heavy as I soon closed my eyes, unable to fight off the immense exhaustion that had plagued me for weeks. I could only hope that Bella would continue to feel the love that surrounded her tonight and know that I had far from given up on coming back to her. I had made her a promise before that I would always come back to her... that she was my missing piece. I had never broken a promise to her and I had no intention of starting now. I thought of a small and silent prayer as I slowly succumbed to my heavy exhaustion.

Please mom... if you're still close by... please watch over Bella a little while longer for me ... just till I have her in my arms again.

Hold on, Bells ... Just a little longer, baby ... I'm coming home to you.


	79. Chapter 81

**A/N: Hi everyone! What a journey these last few chapters have been, huh? I have to say that I love reading all of your reviews and hearing your much appreciated feedback! I know all of you are anxiously awaiting for updates and I thank you for your patience and for your dedicated following of this story. Words simply cannot express my gratitude. As I always say... Till next time... HAPPY READING! :-) xoxo xoxo.  
**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY**

**(BPOV)**

I was surrounded by immeasurable love and genuine kindness, as I enjoyed Christmas Eve dinner with everyone at Sam and Emily's. The laughter and the jokes... the many shared memories that was the center of conversations around the kitchen table... all of it was wonderful to be part of and all of it gave me the truest sense of home that I had ever had the blessed privilege of experiencing. Everywhere I looked, there was joyful smiles and reflective gazes to be seen, and it made me all the more thankful to be surrounded by such loving and uniquely caring people on this Holiday.

My mother, and especially Phil, had been pretty reserved at first, along with Jake's sister who had shown up right after dinner had started. All of them now trying to adjust to everyone and simply fit in, but their timid fear was quickly replaced with genuine Holiday cheer, as they joined in with the laughter and the good times to be shared all around.

I grew a bit concerned when I noticed that Rachel was having trouble even meeting her father's gaze, the sight of this telling me that maybe something had transpired between them prior to dinner. Something I was unaware of. They genuinely seemed to be in some sort of tense and silent discussion ... one that only grew in hostility with each passing and despondent glance they shared over dinner.

Over the last few weeks, Rachel had made herself relatively scarce. Only popping in once every few days to check on Billy. Her words to me were also few and far between and it had created an unsettled feeling within me. I made a mental note to be sure and ask Billy if everything was okay with her later.

As expected and highly anticipated, Emily had truly outdone herself once again. The table and counters were filled with every kind of Christmas delicacy imaginable... creating a buffet style like feast for us all to enjoy. She had made something of everything and made a double batch of it at that. Needless to say there was more than enough to go around and then some. Everyone in the pack dug in with eagerness, going back for seconds and sometimes even thirds. I just laughed when Paul plopped down beside me again with his third rounded plate, stuffing a turkey leg in his mouth as my mother looked at him in utter disbelief.

"Yeah..." Paul mumbled to her through his mouthful of food. "We eat a lot... a whole lot."

Charlie looked at me with a shake of his head as Billy busted out laughing.

"Don't worry Renee... you'll get used to seeing them all put the food away. It will come to be like second nature soon enough."

I had eaten almost half of my plate when I felt two strong arms wrap around my shoulders, as Sam came up from behind me with a piece of cherry pie.

"Just for you, Bella." He happily offered me with a small kiss to my cheek.

"Thank you." I replied.

"No problem. There's plenty more where that came from if everyone has any room left."

"Oh yes!" Emily grinned. "There's apple and pumpkin pie... Chocolate cream and graham cracker pie, too. Please everyone... help yourself!"

I couldn't help but grin at my mother as she met my gaze. Her eyes becoming glossy when she mouthed the words, "I love you..."

I returned her heartfelt sentiment and began to pick at the cherry pie in front of me. My appetite now beginning to peter out from all the food.

Paul gently nudged into me then with a grin, as he leaned in close to whisper something in my ear.

"Not big on cherry, huh?"

"No, it's not that... I'm just full." I softly replied to him.

"Feel ok?" He abruptly asked, meeting my gaze with a concern that truly touched my heart to see from him.

"Yeah... not too bad tonight."

"Good." He replied, before going back to his nearly emptied plate.

I took three small bites and pushed the half eaten piece of cherry pie closer to him. He gave me another smirk as he quickly finished it off in two big bites.

I stifled a giggle and glanced around at the still full table, taking note of Leah, who had a truly heartbreaking expression on her face as she excused herself from the table and headed outside.

I silently stood and grabbed my jacket, following her out onto Emily and Sam's snow covered porch, and soon seeing her there on the steps sobbing. My heart twisted painfully as I closed the house door and approached her.

I had no true words of comfort... for I knew none would be able to take the pain away she was experiencing. She missed her mother... and she missed her brother... and It made me hurt for her. She was a huge part of Jacobs pack... his family... and that made her my family, too.

I hunkered down on the cold step with her, feeling the arctic chill sweep around us in a rushing wind, as heavy snowflakes continued to fall from the sky. I saw her raise her head when she noted my presence beside her. The tears running down her face in endless supply. She quickly tried to dry them and pull herself together for my benefit. I scooted over closer and wrapped my arms around her. My words softly spoken when they left me.

"I'm sorry, Leah."

She eagerly returned my embrace, and we stayed like that for minutes. Her heartbreaking cries soon causing my own tears to come forth.

"I wish I had been there for her..." She sobbed to me as my tears slipped slowly down over my cheeks.

"I know... but you were on her mind ... you and Seth both... till the very end." I replied, holding tight to her.

"I feel like I failed her. I was born to be a protector against such evil... and when my own mother needed my saving the most... I wasn't there." She cried, clinging to me in agony.

"Leah... you and Seth were ... and will always be with best part of your mother's life. She loved you both so much and she would never want you to feel this way. You are still a great protector. I owe you my very life for the protection you've selflessly shown. I wouldn't be here without you... without your loyalty."

She slowly pulled back and met my gaze. Her eyes revealing to me the truth in her hushed words of emotion as she spoke them.

"You were meant for Jacob... You're my family now, Bella. My bitterness toward you before... when you were still with Edward... it was unfair and I'm sorry."

I shushed her and wiped her tears with half a grin. "You probably had the right idea to hate me then... I was acting selfish... and you cared for Jacob... I don't blame you for that."

"You're really gracious..."

"No... Not really... I just understand where your loyalty was and I'm actually really grateful for it."

She offered me half a smile then in return as she took my hand and helped me up from the step.

"Come on, Swan... You're not like me... You'll freeze out here. Don't want you catching a cold on my account." She sighed.

"True..."

We walked back inside to see everyone smiling and now gathering around Emily and Sam's Christmas tree. Which was loaded with tons of wrapped presents.

"There you two are!" Emily beamed, rushing over to us and pulling us into a hug. Her embrace tight and her eyes lighting up with excitement. "We have tons of gifts to open while everyone is still here. Come on... I hope it's okay that I asked everyone to bring their gifts here. Just seemed like a good idea for us to share the joy of this season together!"

"It is a wonderful idea." I replied, handing her my coat and soon joining everyone as they all sat together on the living room floor.

Ambient chatter filled the house as Emily handed everyone a hot mug of cocoa with added whip cream and holiday colored sprinkles. I took mine from her with a grin of appreciation and saw my father and Paul gesture for me to come sit on the floor by the tree with them.

I gingerly sat and caught a glimpse of Sam kissing Emily in a way that brought a sad smile to my face. I forced back the feeling of sadness and remembered just how far they had come, and how grateful I was for the way everything had turned out for them. They deserved every ounce of happiness they received.

I turned to Paul as he threw an arm around me.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." He grinned to me with a wink.

"Merry Christmas, Paul." I replied, holding his earnest gaze as Emily put on her cute Santa hat and began happily passing out the many presents. Her announcement to us beforehand, making us all laugh.

"Okay... so... I know I'm not your typical Santa... I am missing the beard and all..." She giggled. "But nonetheless ... I hope each of you enjoy all that you receive here and that you know what a gift you all are to us. We love you."

"You make a way hotter Santa is you ask me!" Sam yelled to her with a grin and a classic wolf whistle, causing Emily to blush.

"I second that!" Embry added with a chuckle, playfully nudging into Quil, who nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

"Hey now!" Sam warned to them both in a joking manor, pointing to them and silencing their loud cat calls instantly.

Emily gathered many presents in her arms and swiftly began handing them out with a grin that I was almost certain could not be erased.

My heart and hands were soon full with true joy as Sam asked me to take Levi for him so he could help Emily. I agreed with a wide grin and saw Paul's eyes upon me when I tucked Levi's blanket around him, being sure he was comfortable and not cold.

"What?" I soon asked Paul, seeing his grin wide to me in return.

"Just observing a true natural." He soon sighed, touching Levi's cheek softly.

"I'm not so sure about that." I confessed.

"Looks it to me." He confidently stated. "You're gonna make a great mom, you know?"

I glanced up from Levi, feeling my eyes sting with tears and seeing Paul's eyes widen a bit in alarm from the sight of my sudden emotion.

"Oh... I- ... wasn't try to upset you-." He quickly said, trying to back pedal his way out of my over emotional mess.

I placed an assuring hand on his forearm with a shake of my head as I willed away my tears.

"It's okay Paul... really... I appreciate the compliment. Never mind me." I lightly laughed, trying to play it off.

Paul leaned in closer, further observing little Levi and whispering words of encouragement to me.

"He will be back. I just know it."

I simply smiled in return to him, not trusting my voice in this moment. I wished, with all my heart, that Jacob would come home for Christmas but I was afraid to be too hopeful, in fear of what the great let down would ultimately do to me if he didn't. Every day now without him seemed to be a balancing act and I was quickly tiring of this same old circus routine.

"Here Bella." Emily sudden;y said to me, holding out a beautifully wrapped package. Paul kindly took Levi in his arms with a chuckle while he gently bounced him on his knee, causing him to coo in delight. Everyone in the room grew quit when I began to open it.

Charlie was the first one to speak up. "That's from ... well..." He paused, glancing over to Renee, Phil and Billy who sat across from him. ""It's from all of us, kiddo."

I gently tore open the package and saw a small box that held a delicate charm bracelet. It's single charm to be that of a silver heart. I took it carefully in my hands, as my gaze fell on the engraving that was written in tiny lettering on the side of it. The short passage causing my vision to grow blurry as I focused upon it. The words... "Forever my Bells," were engraved in italic font on the side of its delicate symbol.

I couldn't talk or even blink as I stared at it.

Charlie cleared his throat as the silence continued.

"Jacob had picked it out for you, honey. He thought it would be nice to have it engraved for you, too. So we all pitched in and he suggested to me that we make it a family gift... It's was what he wanted."

The name on the box was one that I recognized from a fancy jewelry store in Forks. I had only stepped in it once or twice, because the prices were always alarmingly high.

I sucked in a sharp breath and heard Emily's voice now next to me, seeing she was knelt down on the floor in front of me, her delicate fingers helping to take the charm bracelet from my shaking hands and place it on my wrist.

"Here... let me help you." She softly whispered, quickly clasping it into place with a warm and understanding grin to me.

"It's... perfect... beautiful." I breathed, my eyes fixed on the engraving.

I got to my feet then and hugged Emily, thanking her for her help, before making my way over to Billy and my father, grabbing ahold of them like my life depended on it, my embrace tight to them both.

"Thank you so much." I cried, my tears unable to stop, as I soon hugged mom and Phil, seeing my mothers own eyes grow misty.

"You're more than welcome, Bella." Billy replied, catching my hand and giving it a small squeeze when I went to sit back down with Paul. My legs feeling shaky as I ran my fingers over the delicate bracelet. My mind replaying all the times Jacob had called me that name... his name... for me. It made me miss him so much more that I swore my insides physically ached from it.

"It's real pretty." Sam sighed, with a grin to me.

"Thank you." I replied, taking Levi back from Paul who was in the midst of trying to juggle two unopened gifts himself.

Everyone was soon back to unwrapping. The living room floor quickly disappearing before us from the heavy coverings of tossed aside wrapping paper.

The many packages under the tree began to dwindle down, as we all opened whatever Emily passed to us, and shared embraces of thankfulness with one another for each present we received. The pack also took the time to exchange gifts with one another and I was incredibly humbled to see each of them hand me something as well. I had received anything from coffee mugs to scarves and warm mittens. I had hugged each of them in great appreciation for them even taking the time to think of me. It made me feel so loved ... so accepted and for that I was incredibly grateful... especially now.

I had just handed Levi back over to Sam and was beginning to Fold one of the beautiful blue scarves that Embry had kindly gifted me with, when Paul handed me a present of his own.

"This one's not from me Bella... I'm kinda just passing it along... for Jacob."

I stopped my movements from his words and slowly took the package from him. My eyes already stinging with the threat of new tears as I began to pull the wrapping paper off, one small corner at a time.

"He wrapped it for you himself... before..."

I nodded to him in understanding, as my hands tore the last bit of paper off, revealing to me the single most treasured gift that I had yet to receive. The gift before me, meant more than words could ever express. It was uniquely beautiful and something truly irreplaceable. I stared in awe at the hand carved wooden picture frame that held a black and white photo of Jacob and I in his garage. Our smiles wide as we held each others gaze.

It was a photo I hadn't even known existed.

"I took the picture." Billy soon offered up with a sentimental smile. "But Jake carved that frame for you by hand this Fall. Told me to be sure to take a good photo. So... when I finally got one, I had your father here go into town and get it developed. Even though he's not here to hand it over to you himself ... I knew he'd still want you to have it, sweetheart."

I traced my fingertips lightly over the delicately crafted wood, knowing his own strong hands had touched the same frame not so long ago. I sucked in a sharp breath and went to Billy, hugging him first and placing a kiss on his cheek, before doing the same with Charlie.

"Thank you both ... so much." I said to them, seeing their grins equally wide in response.

I had barely had time with everything going on, to Christmas shop, but I had stolen Charlie for a few hours one afternoon a couple weeks ago, and was able to pick out a small gift for each of member of the pack and Billy. I had gifted Charlie, Renee and Phil with gift cards, thinking that was the safest way to go, yet still feeling a bit guilty that I couldn't do more.

To be showered with such love, left me truly speechless and as I saw Leah approach me next with a present to offer, I was even more humbled.

"This is from me and Seth... And mom..." She sighed, placing the neatly wrapped package in my awaiting hands.

"Oh, Leah..." I whispered, opening the paper to see a beautiful yellow quilt before me. I took it out, seeing the detail and knowing that Sue had taken the time to hand knit it. "It's... It's... beautiful."

I stood and hugged her, seeing her tears return when she returned my embrace.

"Mom would want you to have one... for you little bundle of joy... boy or girl... We figured yellow would be fitting."

"I love it... and ... Jacob will too." I replied, tightening my hold on her. "Thank you for giving this to me. It means more than you know."

"You're welcome."

Christmas music soon began to play through the house as Sam grabbed ahold of an unsuspecting Emily and dipped her. She laughed joyfully as he drew her body close to his and kissed her with so much love, it was nearly tangible throughout the room.

I couldn't help but laugh when I heard Charlie and Billy begin to sing along to a rather rowdy version of jingle bell rock, each of them now holding a cold beer.

"Oh boy!" Paul chuckled, as he helped me take my things to the truck. "What are we in for!?"

"I have no idea..." I laughed in reply, watching my step in the snow as we trudged along. "Thanks for helping me carry this out!"

"Of course." He replied, piling my gifts into the passenger side seat of my truck.

"I can't... even believe all of you did so much for me this year... I'm speechless... but so thankful."

"Better get used to it, sweetheart. That's the way pack life and families work around here ... A one for all and an all for one kind of mentality... Family first... always."

I nodded to him and zipped up my jacket as I scanned the darkness of the back yard, secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of russet fur out there somewhere.

Paul wrapped an arm around me as the wind blew and we swiftly headed for the door.

"Come on... back inside we go for more of Emily's hot cocoa... too damn cold to stay out here!"

His tactic to keep me smiling had worked and I appreciated his genuine effort in trying to make me enjoy the rest of Christmas Eve.

By the time midnight rolled around, the loud and festive chatter had grown to a few whispered conversations by the fire that Sam had started. It's warm glow and beauty, capturing my attention as I sipped my third cup of cocoa.

"This stuff is addicting!" I whispered over to Emily, who grinned at me while holding up her own full cup.

"I love it, too. Sam has even grown to like it now." She softly laughed, glancing around to see the pack all piled on her living room floor in a food induced sleep coma.

"Speaking of Sam ... Where did he sneak off to?" I asked.

"He said he had to do a perimeter run before turning in for the night."

"Oh... I see. I can't believe they all crashed here, Emily" I sighed to her.

"I'm not surprised." She laughed. "Not in the least. Their wolves... remember? They can sleep anywhere!"

"True." I smiled, seeing Charlie and Billy still engulfed in a game of cribbage with Phil and Renee at the kitchen table.

"Everyone seemed to have a great time. I just love seeing everyone get together like this." Emily sighed to me in contentment.

"It is nice, isn't it?"

Emily then smiled and reached for my hand, her fingers brushing the charm bracelet now adorned on my wrist.

"It is beautiful, Bella. He sure knows you well."

"Better than anyone ever has..." I softly replied to her with a small yawn.

Emily stood with a smile as she grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and handed it to me. "Here... why don't you lay down?"

"I am getting tired." I admitted, taking the offered blanket from her with gratitude and curling up in the rocking chair.

"You can take the couch, you know?" She kindly offered.

"I know, but I should be okay here... besides ... one of the guys might need it later." I softly laughed.

"Okay." She replied. "If you need anything, let me know?"

I nodded as she drew me into a hug, and tucked the blanket in around me. Her nurturing ways still astounding to me.

"Merry Christmas, Em."

"Merry Christmas, Bella. Love you."

"Love you, too." I replied, closing my eyes and relishing the heat from the fire place ... Feeling its warmth surround me in a way that had my head flooding with memories of Jacob... of his warm touch... his tight embrace... the safety and secured assurance that his arms always provided me with. I soon drifted off to sleep with one thought... one final and continued wish in my heart.

I love you, Jacob ... Wherever you are tonight ... know that my heart is with you ... and please ... please come home to me.


	80. Chapter 82

**A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you for your patience! I know I haven't been able to publish a new chapter as soon as I had planned on. A whole week without a new chapter is too long, so again, thank you all for patiently waiting. As always... HAPPY READING! :-)**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - ONE **

**(BPOV)**

I slept soundly throughout much of the night. The feel of warmth from the fireplace had given me the comforting and familiar feel of heat that I had so greatly missed since Jake had been gone. It was by far the most peaceful sleep that I had experienced in weeks.

I only stirred once when I heard some of the pack get up and head out for patrol, the darkness of the house revealing to me that it wasn't yet dawn. I closed my eyes and was just about back to sleep when I felt a soft touch gently shake me awake. I opened my eyes to see Emily there and dressed. Her coat in her hands as she whispered to me.

"Bella... wake up."

I sat up in the chair, only half awake and wondering what she was doing up and dressed at this ungodly hour.

"Em?" I whispered, seeing her gaze wander over to my father and Billy who were now awake on the other side of the living room, both of them still appearing to be groggy. "What's going on?"

"I'm so sorry to wake you, but I need you to come with me. Sam just called and he needs our help. Here... put your coat on."

I ran my hands through my hair as I stood, trying to understand what exactly she was talking about.

"What?" I whispered to her in confusion, as she helped me slip into my coat. "Is everything okay? Is someone hurt?"

"Yes... Seems Leah took a bad fall while running border patrol. She volunteered to go with Sam and help him tonight, but I think she may have reinjured herself. Sam said we had to hurry. Billy and your father have agreed to stay here with Levi... to keep an eye on him till we return. Your mom and Phil left a few hours ago."

"Okay... Let's go." I replied, swiftly walking with her into the kitchen. My eyes still heavy with sleep as I stopped by the kitchen sink and splashed some cold water on my face to help me wake up.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you..." Emily sighed as we headed out to my running truck. "Hope it's okay that I started it? Really cold and Sam has my car. This damn storm is turning out to be a fierce one."

"Of course... it's fine." I replied, climbing in and soon backing out of their driveway. "Em... you have to tell me exactly where we're going."

"Oh..." Emily softly laughed. "Well... that would be helpful, I suppose, wouldn't it?"

"A little bit." I chuckled with a shake of my head as we pulled out onto the desolate streets.

"Not a soul out here... kinda creepy."

"That's cause everyone is still tucked in bed... What time is it, anyway?" I asked, glancing at the radio clock time displayed on the dash as Emily quoted it to me.

"Two twenty - seven."

"No one's up at this hour."

"Santa is..." Emily laughed.

"Somehow I think the magic of his jolly existence left me... a long time ago." I countered, as we drove further down the snow covered streets.

"Okay... maybe you don't have to believe in Santa... but you do believe ... you have a hopeful heart. I knew that about you the first time I met you."

"You did?" I asked.

"Yes... I sure did. Okay... take this road right here on the left and keep going till I say so."

"... Alright..." I replied, stealing a curious side glance at her as we headed down the long dark road that lead to a different part of the reservation. "Where is Sam anyway?"

"He said to meet him somewhere on this road... right up here."

"So... you don't know exactly where he wanted us to meet him? How bad is Leah? Are you sure I shouldn't go back and get Charlie. He could help?" I asked her, perplexed as we crept along.

"No... We'll be fine, Bella... and no I don't know exactly where he was referring to when he called ... you know men and there sense of direction." She sighed dismissively. "Or lack there of..."

"Yeah... Maybe normal men ... not ones who run in the wild like he does... I always thought Sam had an excellent sense of direction?"

"He does... For the most part, but times like this when he's in a rush and worried for a fellow pack member... he doesn't give great directions."

"Holy Shit!" I soon yelled, slamming on the brakes as Sam suddenly appeared in human form directly in front of us, effectively intercepting our path and scaring the hell out of us both in the process.

"See?" Emily sighed with a shake of her head to me. "What did I tell you."

He placed his hands firmly on the hood of my truck as it slid to a stop on the snow covered road. My traction slipping from the hazardous driving conditions. I clutched my chest, feeling my heart nearly in my throat now as he ran around to my side and quickly opened to door, a rush of bitter cold wind coming in with him.

"Sorry to drag you out here in this, but I need your help!" Sam exclaimed. His tone near frantic to us.

"Where is she? Where's Leah?" I asked in worry.

"She's right up here... just a little further ahead. She's in rough shape. Follow me down, okay?"

I nodded to him as he closed the door and ran ahead. My hands shaking as I slipped the truck into drive and slowly followed him, pumping the breaks every so often and feeling my traction only get worse as we continued on. The snow hadn't let up, and if anything, it was now falling at a heavier rate, making visibility nearly impossible to obtain.

"Em..." I cautioned, white knuckles gripping the steering wheel now. "This is too slippery. I could slide and literally hit him!"

"I know... you're doing great, tho ... just keep it steady like you are."

I continued to follow him until I saw him motion for us to stop. My truck slid in protest to the harshly applied brake, but eventually slid to a stop.

Sam then disappeared from view briefly, as he went back into the woods to retrieve Leah.

"She's pushing herself too hard." Emily sighed from beside me. "This is what she does... always trying to throw herself into something else... to escape reality when it's too harsh. It's the way she's always been."

"I can understand why she would right now... Must be really hard for her... missing her mom and her brother... on Christmas." I replied.

"I know... and I'm worried for her. She did this when she first lost her father and now... With Sue... I believe it will only be worse."

"Worse?" I asked, seeing Emily's expression turn grave.

"Yes... Worse... I fear she may lose herself entirely if Seth doesn't return soon. He is truly the only small piece of normal she has left. She needs him now more than ever before, so I can only hope that Seth will make it back here before she self destructs."

Sam then emerged from the woods with Leah in his arms. He was swift to approach us and place her beside Emily.

Leah's face was contorted in agony as she settled into the truck.

"Take her straight to the house. She needs to lay low before she ends up doing damage she can't heal properly from."

"Okay." I replied, seeing Sam kiss Emily and soon close the truck door.

The drive back was longer and treacherous as the heavy snow continued to pile up around the Reservation. Several times I feared my truck would end up getting stuck and that we would be stranded, but to my thankfulness and relief, we made it back to Sam and Emily's house. We both helped Leah slowly into the house, her steps unsteady and her moans of discomfort loud with every small movement she made.

Charlie and Billy were wide eyed when we came in through the front door.

"Leah!" Billy gasped. "What happened to you."

"She overdid it..." Emily replied, as we quickly got Leah settled in on the couch with a blanket.

I helped aid her in any way I could. Fetching after an extra blanket and Emily's full first aid kit, that was well stalked with gauze, bandages, disinfectant... you name it and she had it. I placed it beside her and watched her quickly open the bag, searching through the mess of bandages in search of ointment for the large gash above Leah's left eye.

"Why aren't you healing faster?" Emily breathed, gently dabbing the access blood away as it continued to run down the side of Leah's face.

"I-I... d-don't know..." Leah replied shakily.

Billy was soon wheeling himself closer to us, his hand taking Leahs as his eyes met hers.

"How long have you felt the difference? The change?"

I glanced over to him as he spoke to her, feeling clueless as to what he was referring to. The change?

"The ... l-last... few...d-days..." Leah replied.

Her eyes suddenly closed then as Billy's hand left hers and his worried gaze met Emily's.

"What are you saying, Billy? Tell me!?" She begged him, frantically checking Leah for a pulse.

"She's losing her abilities to phase... the grief over her mothers passing... I believe it has taken a greater toll on her than we all feared."

"What? H-How is that even possible?"

Billy's look grew even more solemn when he replied.

"Grief... that kind of grief... can crush the spirit..." Billy sighed. "It has been decades since I've seen it, but what Leah is experiencing now, only proves to me that it still exists."

"Her pulse is strong... but she's not healing the way she should..." Emily replied.

"... and she won't... not right now, anyway."

"What can we do for her?" I asked, drawing closer to them with fear in my tone.

"Exactly what you just did. Keep her here... comfortable... and under a watchful eye until the grief can lift... or..." Billy paused, his gaze becoming distant suddenly.

"What... or what?" Emily hedged.

"... Or she finds her imprint... that connection will save her... it will help heal her... keep her abilities in tact. Until then... we wait and we care for her... and we watch."

I felt my stomach churn upon hearing his last few words, my hand instantly going to my mouth as I made a mad dash for the bathroom, where I emptied any contents within my stomach.

I heard Emily's running steps as she followed in after me, her hands coming to quickly collect my long hair and her soothing words washing over me in a wave of comfort as I continued to heave. My strain causing my ribs to ache and my throat to become raw.

After the second round had subsided, I slowly took the towel Emily offered and rose up on shaky legs, seeing her gaze meet mine.

"I'm sorry..." I sighed, before rinsing out my mouth and splashing some cold water on my face. The feel of it refreshing to me.

"Shh... don't be sorry, Bella... it's okay... normal... want some ginger ale... Tea?"

"Tea... please..." I softly replied, seeing Emily turn on the shower and smile to me.

"Here... Why don't you take a nice hot shower and I'll fetch you some clean pajamas of mine... they may be a bit big, but there warm and probably more comfortable than jeans and a dress shirt right now?"

"Really? You don't mind... cause that sounds amazing right about now." I admitted.

"Of course not. I'll just leave them on the side of the sink for you. Take your time and I'll make your tea."

I hugged her then, feeling overwhelmed and truly grateful for her genuine kindness and hospitality right now. Emily was an angel... I had no clue where I'd be without her loyal friendship.

"Thank you... so much, Emily." I sighed, as she released me with a kiss to the forehead.

"Hey... We take care of our own around here... and you are just that, Bella... one of our own." She smiled, as she ducked out of the bathroom.

I couldn't help but grin at her words, knowing how true they were.

I couldn't imagine going through all this without the kind understanding of Emily and Sam... The pack ... my father and Billy... even mom and Phil. I was always around loving arms and a listening ear... something I would never take for granted again.

I took Emily up on her kind offer and enjoyed the relaxation of the hot shower, new flannel pajamas to wear, and a mug full of warm honey tea. The combination had calmed my nerves and by the time the clock read 3:55 a.m., I was fully comfortable sitting next to the fire with Emily. The sound of Billy and Charlie's soft snoring, was the only noise in the house, besides the crackling from the fire that Emily had kept blazing for us.

"You look much better..." Emily softly sighed, touching my cheek gently. "You're color is back."

I nodded and offered her a small smile of appreciation in return. "You've done so much for me..."

Emily's gaze turned back to the fire as she sipped her tea and simply shrugged.

"I know how much you miss him, Bella... and I know what that does to someone... only to an extent tho... I lost my Sam for a while... and Jacob... He stepped up for me in a big way... So... I feel that this is the very least I can do for you in his absence now... Not too mention... if I haven't said it before... I have come to think of you like a long lost sister."

I reached my hand out and felt her fingers soon entwine with my own. "I feel the same way... always wanted a sister..."

Emily's returning grin was wide as she gave my hand a gently squeeze.

"Well... it is now officially Christmas morning... and still snowing."

"I know..." I sighed, glancing again toward the fireplace and basking in the heat it offered.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a shaky breath, pulling forth a memory of how warm Jacob's embraces always were ... how I would give anything to feel his strong arms around me this morning.

I got lost in the fleeting memory and soon felt Emily's hand touch my arm. Her gaze reflective when it met mine.

"There's still a chance..." She softly whispered, scooting over closer to me as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"I can only hope..." I shakily replied, laying my head on her.

"Shh... you should try and get some rest, you know? I bet we could still get a few hours of beauty sleep before Levi wakes up for his early morning feeding... or before the pack returns from patrol... and burst in here hungry for Christmas breakfast like the bunch of wolves they are."

"You can't seriously be thinking of cooking more food this morning? Aren't you worn out, Em?" I asked her in disbelief.

She simply shook her head with a sigh of contentment. "No way... what can I say... they are my boys..."

"You make one hell of a pack mama." I yawned.

"You'll make one hell of a mama period, Bella." She replied, rising to her feet and retreating to her room, where she gathered two heavy sleeping bags with a grin.

"Let's crash right here... like a slumber party..." She soon quietly giggled to me.

"Wow..." I replied. "I haven't had one of those in... well... at least a decade or more."

"Well... I say it's about time we had one... right now. Let's just hope we actually get a few much needed hours of shut eye?" She laughed, plopping down on the sleeping bag with two pillows and gesturing for me to join her.

"Okay... here's to hope." I softly sighed, sinking into the warm bed she had made us on the floor. To my surprise, I was very comfortable there and fell fast asleep before I could even say anything else to her. My last thoughts being of Jacob... the same as they always were.

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - TWO**

**(JPOV)**

I opened my eyes to see the heavy clouds forming and the sun rapidly disappearing behind them. I rolled to my side, coughing and feeling the prominent ache in my bones from the brutality of what my body had just endured. Every move hurt, but I forced myself to stand, my eyes still heavy with sleep and my body telling me to lay back down.

Seth was now back in wolf form and his head perked up the moment he heard me rise up on tired legs from the snow covered ground.

He huffed in protest to me, quickly arising from his resting position with a solid shake of his head.

I knew he was trying to get me to stay there and rest more, but my entire being called out for Bella. Like a lighthouse to a ship at sea in a raging storm.

My storm had calmed and while it may not be over, I was determined to get home to her. My arms ached to hold her to me... I craved her presence like the very next breath I took and as I met Seth's concerned wolf gaze and saw his eyes soften with understanding in return, I knew that he could sense it too.

"It's time." I sighed, feeling the scorching heat travel up my spine with haste, as my body was soon wracked with the consuming tremors that rapidly erased skin and replaced it with the thick russet fur of the wolf.

I was soon on all fours, letting out a huff to Seth, who approached me with caution. His mind immediately linking with my own.

"_You sure you're ready for this, bro? Don't push it..."_

_"I'm as ready as I can be... It's time, Seth... Time to go home."_

He lifted his head then and let out an encouraging howl into the clouded morning sky.

_"It's Christmas, Jake."_

_"Merry Christmas, Seth. Sorry... I don't have a gift for ya, bro."_ I sighed, seeing his wolf gaze come to settle upon my own with sincerity.

_"Hey... that's okay... after all... I already got my Christmas gift this year and a whole day early to boot... You came back... and that's the best gift ever!"_

His words had my mind running with all the times Sue had said that Seth looked up to me in some of our passing conversations. The memory making me miss her and causing Seth's head to lower to the ground in sadness.

_"You're my brother, Seth... blood and wolf pack not needed... And I will never forget what you did for me here... not ever."_ I huffed to him.

_"I'd do it again, you know."_

_"I do know... cause that's the kind of young man your mama raised... the kind of young man that your father would be proud to see today."_

_"Thanks, Jake."_ He replied, glancing toward the forest trail ahead. "We got miles and miles to go to get back home before mid - day ... and that's pushing it. You sure?"

_"Yeah... I'm sure... Let's get home, Seth."_

He took the lead and I allowed him to set the pace for the start of our journey home, knowing that I needed to proceed with caution if I planned on getting back to Bella in relatively one piece. I followed his lead willingly and felt equally grateful for his companionship as we went.

I wasn't running as fast as I normally did and this put us behind. My body still fighting me with every passing few miles.

The snow began to heavily fall and the wind picked up, creating blizzard like conditions for us to run in. This made things all the more difficult as the storm worked against us. Seth soon came to a stop when the wind became even harsher around us.

_"Man... I don't know, Jake. This storm is rough. Maybe we should wait it out here... till the snow lets up?"_

I huffed in frustration, seeing the tree tops heavily weighed down and swaying in the powerful wind above us.

_"We can't be more than fifty miles from the Res... and nightfall is coming... I know this shit makes visibility suck... but we gotta keep moving. Okay?"_

Seth nodded in understanding to me and we pressed on, in spite of the damn blizzard.

I knew I was pushing myself past the point of pure exhaustion... but I was willing to do so... determined to keep going ... For I knew what was waiting for me at the end of this long storm filled journey home... Bella.

I clung to the vision of her beautiful face... clung tightly to the many memories that filled my mind of her as we pressed on. The simple knowledge that I would be able to hold her in my arms by the time dark arrived tonight... Christmas night ... to know that I would soon feel her close to me again... it was the divine driving force that pushed past the storm and the pain in my body that protested such a damn journey right now ... and it was enough... it was more than enough.


	81. Chapter 83

**A/N: Okay everyone... this is the chapter you've all been patiently waiting for. Special song credit shout out to Amy Stroup! Her music made this chapter possible. So... I truly hope you enjoy it and I look forward to your reviews. HAPPY READING! :-)  
**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - THREE**

**(BPOV)**

Christmas morning had been full of Emily's cooking and the packs joking. My mother and Phil arrived sometime after nine and soon joined in on the breakfast feast with us all. We shared good memories and everyone was in a joyful and jolly mood. Even Leah had limped out to join us at the table for a little while, and though she was still really hurting, she tried to make the best of it, but we were missing yet another member of the family for this Holiday. Billy had sadly informed me earlier that Rachel had left very late last night. She had told Billy in a voicemail that she needed to go back home, and though Billy tried to put on a brave face about her departure, I could plainly see that it bothered him greatly. Despite this, he remained in rather good spirits.

The house was filled with laughter and chatter as the day went on, and the falling snow was continuing to pile high outside. Everyone seemed overly eager to get out there after a short lunch, and build snowmen. I shivered at just the idea and closed the door behind them as they all went. A fierce snowball fight soon began and Emily and I laughed as we peeked out the window at the grown men now acting like Children in the back yard.

"Oh Jeez... Paul's getting creamed!" I chuckled, watching him duck and dodge.

"Well... It's a good thing he's fast!" Emily laughed.

"I'd say... how can they play in this blizzard!"

"Boys will be boys, Bella."

"True... " I replied. "So... looks like clean up in here is an order?"

"Got that right." Emily replied, her eyes widening when she looked at the mess before us.

My mother and Phil were nice enough to come inside from the fun of the snowy outdoors, and help Emily and I put the house back together. Luckily, with the team effort we made, it took no time at all for us to finish up.

"How are you feeling?" My mother asked as she sat next me on the couch, a hot cup of cocoa for each of us in hand.

"No too bad... considering..." I replied.

"Listen, dear... I was thinking that maybe Phil and I could stay till after New Years? Just to be sure you're doing alright?"

"That would mean a lot to me mom... thanks." I replied, hugging her with gratitude.

"Of course. Have you thought anymore about seeing the Doctor?"

I released her, taking note of the undeniable concern in her voice as she spoke.

"I know I need to go... I just-"

"Really want to have Jacob with you?" Mom finished for me.

"Yeah..." I sighed, glancing toward the window and seeing that darkness of night inevitably begin to creep in. Christmas was almost over. The day was nearly done and I hadn't received my Christmas wish. My eyes grew glossy as my mother spoke again.

"I know you want to experience all of this with Jacob, and trust me, I want that for you, too. But... it's not safe to put it off. Seeing the Doctor now is important. You're already having trouble keeping much down for food... and you'll need prenatal vitamins."

"Just... a few more days? Okay? And then... if he's not back... I promise you that I'll call and make an appointment."

"Okay sweetheart." Mom replied, gently sweeping her delicate fingers through my hair with a heavy sigh. "I was wrong... before..."

"What?" I questioned her in reply. "About what?"

"About Jacob... being angry with him and Billy like that... for something they can't control... it's not fair of me to do. I look at you and see how much you miss him and my heart breaks that I can't help you more right now."

"I understand why you were upset though and if Jacob were here... he would tell you that he understood, too. You being here and staying with me... that's helped me so much, mom."

Our conversation was cut off when the rowdy group of men from outside came barging in with laughter and snow covered clothes.

"It's a damn blizzard out there!" Sam exclaimed to Emily, tossing a handful of wet snow at her. She screamed and ran away from him when he tried to scoop her up.

"Samuel Uley!" She warned. "Get your cold ass away from me!"

We all erupted into laughter, seeing Sam shake the snow off him and kiss her.

My mother met my gaze with understanding then. "A love like that... can withstand just about anything."

I nodded in agreement to her, taking a sip of hot cocoa. "Yeah... they sure have been through a lot and their more in love now than before I think."

"That's real nice to see. Marriages that hit rough patches don't last anymore."

I saw her gaze wander to Charlie who had just taken off his snowy jacket and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Mom..." I softly asked, seeing the regret in her eyes.

"I love Phil... he is good to me and we have a good thing, but sometimes I think about how it may have been different if I had stayed with your father ... been here for you more... you know?"

"You were a good mom to me." I softly replied.

"I'm grateful you're so forgiving but I wish I could have been around for you more when you were little. Me leaving the way I did... it wasn't fair to you and it really hurt your father."

"You regret it?" I whispered to her, seeing her eyes water with remorse.

"Every day."

I was stunned into silence as Charlie approached us with a grin.

"Nasty storm out there. I pity anyone traveling in this shit." He sighed. "Good thing you're here with us today, Renee."

"Can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be, Charlie." She replied with a smile to him.

Charlie then reached out to touch my face, his smile fading a bit. "Hard to believe that our little girl is having a baby of her own, isn't it?"

"Yep... sure is. Time stands still for no one." My mother sighed.

"Sure doesn't."

I glanced over to Billy who was now closely watching Charlie and Renee with a glint of something in his gaze I couldn't place.

As the evening carried on, Emily served left over pie and hot apple cider, setting the mood to be relaxed and inviting. Things were laid back and enjoyable until Sam suddenly stopped in the middle of his joking conversation with Billy. His hand of cards he held fell from his grasp and his gaze widened in alarm as he met my curious stare from across the table.

"Sam?" Emily asked in concern.

"Shit!" He yelled, getting up from the table with haste and heading for the front door. "I was supposed to relieve Collin and Brady from patrol duty over an hour ago."

He waved goodbye to everyone and gave Emily a quick kiss before literally running outside.

"Hey Sam... wait up... we'll all go with you!" Paul added, as the rest of the pack quickly dropped their own playing cards and ran out after him.

My mothers confused glance did not go unnoticed and Emily was quick to explain.

"They all run patrol shifts, Renee. Each member of the pack has a duty."

"I see... to protect and... serve?" She asked, dealing the next round of cards out to all of us.

"In a manner of speaking, yes Renee." Billy added with a grin.

I smiled and continued to play along through the rest of the game, even though my mother was now kicking our ass and had the highest piles of poker chips in front of her.

Leah was hot on her heels though for the lead. Her next few hands had proven to be almost enough to take it from Renee and I had to admit, win or lose, it sure was great to have her out with us and joining in on the fun.

"Better be careful, Renee... may just take that pile of money from ya!" Leah laughed.

"We'll see about that!" Mom joked to her in reply.

After the next few hands, I felt myself tire a bit, and settled for just observing while the others finished up the game. All the laughter around the table came to an abrupt end when suddenly, and without warning, Sam whipped open the front door, the alarm on his face truly frightening when he came in.

"Sam? What are you doing back here so-" Emily began, but was soon hushed by his look.

He didn't say anything, he simply walked over to the coat rack, grabbed my coat and was soon reaching for me.

"Sam..." I gasped... "Wh... what's wrong?"

"I need you to put this on and come with me. Right now, Bella."

His tone was laced with so much conviction that I didn't even think twice or further hesitate. I slipped my arms into my coat he held out for me.

Emily was on her feet before I could even blink, grabbing a scarf of hers and a pair of mittens, and placing them on me in a hurry. "It's frigid out there. She needs more than just her coat."

"Sam... wait... just tell me what the hell is going on? Is someone else hurt? Wh-" I asked.

"Bella... just come with me." He asserted, taking me by the hand and escorting me out the front door.

"Sam..." I heard both Charlie and Renee yell after us as they came running outside, their jackets in hand.

"Where are you taking her in this!" Charlie yelled, grabbing Sam's arm in protest.

"She will be safe. I promise you, Charlie." He replied.

"That's no guarantee. She's pregnant, Sam! You can't just-"

"Dad..." I intervened. "If I'm with Sam... I'll be safe."

"You're not just with Sam..." I heard Emily's shaky voice then surround us. I looked to her and followed her gaze to see the entire pack now in a lined formation in their back yard. The blowing snow making it hard to see them clearly.

"I promise to keep her safe... on my life, Charlie." Sam added, as he pulled out of my fathers firm grasp.

"I'm going with you."

"You can't Charlie. Not in this. Bella will be okay. I need you to trust me." Sam countered.

I felt the cold wind whip around us and I quickly kissed my father on the cheek to assure him.

"Trust Sam, Dad. You know what he says is true. I'll be okay."

With that, I took Sam's offered hand back in my own and let him lead me out into the deep snow. Once we reached the pack. Sam stripped off his shorts and phased right there in front of me. His powerful wolf form lowering to the ground as he huffed to the others.

I then felt Paul push his muzzle into my back, gently encouraging me to climb on. I took a few steps closer as the wind howled furiously around us. My head full of the possibility of Jacob being out there... needing me... waiting for me. The hopeful vision pushed me forward and I was soon securely in place upon Sam's back as he slowly rose and took off. I kept my head low, trying to cut the harsh affects of the wind, but there was no true way to avoid it... I was already cold to the bone.

Everything around us seemed to be a massive blur of white, as if someone had placed us in a snow globe and shook it up. I clung to Sam's thick black fur as he sprinted through the dense forest. Hearing the loud bellowing howls from the others who followed suit fast behind us.

The loud howling soon ceased and I felt Sam's pace slow as I cautiously raised my head to see us approaching a small house with red shutters. I shook the snow from my coat and felt Sam lower himself down for me to climb off.

"Where are we?" I asked, glancing ahead to the small house covered in Christmas lights. My eyes squinting in an attempt to see something I recognized... Something that would give me a clue as to where the hell we were.

"Sam..." I asked, turning back to him. He raised his head toward the nights sky and let out a mighty howl.

Paul was then at my side, his wolf gaze upon me as he softly pushed into me. I stayed put, unsure of why they would bring me to a place I have never been before.

A more assertive nudge to my back side had me soon jumping forward. I watched as the lights inside this house all suddenly turned on.

"Who lives here?" I asked, taking a few cautionary steps forward.

I knew we still had to be somewhere close to the Reservation, but I had never seen this house before. It looked to be newly renovated with fresh paint even. The cream siding and the rich red shutters were beautiful. Even the front door looked to be brand new. It's color, a shade of matching red and its look inviting with a small Christmas wreath on the front.

There was no vehicle in the yard, nor did there appear to be any movement that I could see from inside the house. What the hell was going on here?

My heart began to race as Sam continued to nudge me forward.

"What?" I asked him. "You've taken me here... but I don't have a clue where exactly here is? Can't you phase back and tell me! So I can at least understand you?"

The pack suddenly all began to bow down around me. Still remaining in perfect formation. Their wolf eyes fixed upon the front door of the house. Like a silent command had been given to them. My breath hitched as I turned back around, feeling Sam nudge me gently forward once more. I took a few more shaky steps in the deep snow. My very heart pounding as my eyes studied the detail of this home. The new paint... The brand new front porch... The craftsmanship and layout.. All of it new to me and yet somehow oddly familiar ... welcoming. I moved a few more steps ahead as my eyes caught sight of a sudden shadow within the house.

I felt the very breath in my body become stolen from me, as the red door soon swung open wide and the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on stepped out onto the porch. I was convinced I was dreaming when the warmest brown gaze came to meet my own.

"Jacob..." I gasped. Being almost afraid to move in this moment, for fear of this all disappearing if I took a single step.

I saw his white smile light up his face as my tears began to cloud my vision of him.

"Bells..."

With the sound of his voice surrounding me, I ran to him. My legs not able to get me to him fast enough.

"Jacob..."

Time seemed to stand still as I ran up over the steps and into his awaiting arms. My entire body shook as he caught me, lifting me up off my feet and pressing me tightly to him.

I couldn't control the emotion that overtook me from his strong embrace.

His warm voice covering me as he pulled me inside from the cold. "I've got you, honey."

"You - ... You're real?" I sobbed, hanging onto him for dear life. "T-Tell me... you're really h-here."

His hold on me tightened with his own strained response. "I'm here, Bells... I'm really here."

"You're... really... here?" I cried, feeling him shift my weight as he reached over and swung the front door to the house closed.

"I'm really here, honey."

I continued to cling to him, my soul feeling as if it had just been put back where it belonged after weeks of his absence.

Weeks without him... endless days and nights without his touch... without hearing his warm voice.

I closed my eyes and prayed that if I was dreaming, that the dream would never end... I never wanted to wake up. Please... just leave me be... don't take me away from him... just leave me be.

I felt his arms loosen as he set me back down on solid ground. His hands cradling my face as my tears continued to fall. My heart now full again.

"T-Tell me again... that this is r-real... Please... tell me-" I begged him, touching his chest as I met his own tearful gaze.

He pulled me closer as his lips hungrily met mine. The passionate kiss silencing my fears and erasing any doubt of how very damn real this all was.

I felt his hand go into my hair as our tears fell, mixing together as he held me to him. His own arms shaking.

I broke the kiss, desperately wanting to look at his face... to study every perfect feature there... every single one that I had missed seeing all these weeks. My hands trembled as I placed them just above his heart, feeling it pound within his chest.

"You're here with me."

"I'm here with you, honey." He replied, his hands slipping down between us to rest on my stomach. "With both of you."

I threw my arms around him again. "I can't believe it... I... I truly got my wish... My Christmas wish came true... I'm here with you."

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late..."

"You're here... that's all that matters... this Christmas... and every Christmas after." I whispered to him in reply.

He slowly released me and reached for my hands. His eyes still glossy with emotion when he kissed my forehead. "Merry Christmas, honey... and welcome home."

I met his sincere gaze as his softly spoken words sunk in.

Home... Welcome home...

I took a small step back from him, holding his hands tightly in mine as my eyes took in the view around me. Everything new and in it's place... but still untouched.

"Home?" I breathed to him, seeing his eyes meet mine with a glow.

"Our home, honey."

I shook my head in utter disbelief as he gestured to the very entryway we were standing in.

It was then that I stopped and actually took note of the many pictures that covered the freshly painted beige walls on either side. All of them special... all of them unique... and all of them now placed in hand carved photo frames... much like the very same wooden picture frame I had received as a gift yesterday.

I could hardly talk as I reached my hand up and touched each photo... recalling the memory each delicately crafted frame held within it.

There were photos of the two of us when we were young... when Jake's hair was long and his smile just as bright... in his garage with wrenches and pizza in hand.

There were photos of me with a much younger Charlie and Renee... when I was just a baby...

Photos of Billy and Jake's mother Sarah... her beauty and radiant smile, making me pause as I lightly traced the frame with my fingertips.

"You...you did...all this?" I breathed, my eyes swimming with the emotion I could not contain as he led me through our new house... our home.

"I wanted to show you weeks ago... But I think now is perfect timing, too?"

I nodded to him, glancing into the dining room. It's walls also freshly painted and decorated with more family photos. My heart felt as if it would overflow with love as Jake gestured to the brand new table and chairs. The look on his face joyful when he ran his hand along the freshly stained wood.

My eyes fell on the chair that he pulled out for me, seeing the intricate handy work he had put into each one. On the back was delicately carved scroll work, each accent mesmerizing.

"You made this ... all of this... with your own hands... didn't you?" I asked him in disbelief.

He simply nodded in reply to me with a grin, as he pulled me to my feet and led me into the living room. I was astonished as my eyes swept over the beautiful room before me. Matching leather furniture ... Everything in place... Even a fire blazing in the fireplace... and a well decorated Christmas tree in the corner. I felt as if I was dreaming again.

"I know technically I'm a bit late for Christmas... considering in a few short hours it will be December 26th... But I wanted the tree up for you to enjoy till New Years at least."

My eyes scanned over the many beautiful ornaments, taking note of the shiny bulbs that had writing on them.

"Where did you-"

"They were my mothers... These are all her ornaments... Dad had them taken out of storage for us. Haven't used them since she passed... till now." He explained.

"It's stunning... perfect. I'm ... speechless... This can't be real right now." I breathed, walking over to the mantle to see the small framed photo of Jake's mother Sarah surrounded by her children on first beach.

I took the photo in my hands, feeling his strong arms wrap around me. "That's one of my favorites." He whispered in my ear, placing a soft kiss on the groove of my neck.

"I love them... all of them. Everything is perfect, Jake."

"You're perfect." He breathed to me. "Come with me... you have more rooms to see, honey."

I placed the photo back on the mantle and took his offered hand, following him into the bathroom and seeing all he had done.

It was perfectly laid out... not too big and not too small. I walked in after him, seeing the many lit candles that framed the tubs edge, offering its effervescent glow.

"How... is this possible?" I asked him, seeing his warm and infectious grin come to match my own.

"Two rooms left, honey." He replied, leading me into the master bedroom... our room.

Rose petals trailed down the small hallway, directing us to the closed wooden door.

He paused as he placed his hand on the knob, his eyes full of such love when they met mine that it caused my tears to return instantly.

"I tried to make it a home you'd be happy to live in and I know there's still-"

I couldn't even allow him to finish the thought. I stopped his words with a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and feeling him immediately press my body flush to his.

"... Everything... in this house... our house... is perfect, Jacob. I wouldn't change anything. Not a single thing."

He grinned widely as he opened the door, revealing to me the most extravagant room of the house.

My breath caught as I saw the new bedding... The new hand carved wooden headboard that had the Quileute words "Que Quowle", carved in the center of it.

I read it back to him in a soft breath, feeling Jacobs lips close to my ear as he whispered the familiar translation to me ... "Stay with me forever."

The bed was covered in rose petals and the room illuminated in soft candle light. In the corner was my rocking chair and the baby blanket that Leah had given me yesterday was draped over the back ... The very same one that Sue had hand knitted herself before she passed. My clothes were all hung neatly in the closet... his clothes were now hanging in the same closet... All of our things were... Together.

"You got... my clothes all here? My stuff? But how-"

"With a little help from Charlie... and even more help from the pack..."

I was truly speechless as I turned to see his beaming grin. He had poured all of himself into this home for us. He had spent every spare minute he had trying to make this place perfect for me.

"You... I... how..." I stammered.

Words seemed to escape me as his hands found mine.

"One more room, sweetheart." He sighed, leading me across the hall to the slightly unfinished nursery. Where a crib was already set up and small hangers hung by the dozen in the closet. "I figured we could do this room... together?"

I felt the tears spill down my cheeks as I nodded my reply to him.

"Together..."

"Yes... together, honey. We can pick the paint and the theme... work on it a little bit at a time?"

"Jake... I'm ... speechless... I don't-"

He silenced me with a small kiss and took my hand. "I have one more thing... one more place I need you to be tonight..."

I nodded and willingly walked with him into our living room, as he sat me down on the couch.

"Wait right here... okay?" He asked.

"Where are you going?" I nervously replied, feeling the raw panic hit me from the thought of being without him again. I selfishly didn't want him out of my sight... ever.

"I'll be right back, honey. I promise."

He gave me another grin as he left the room, my eyes wandering to admire all the hard work he had put into making this our home... without me even having a damn clue. I marveled at everything, feeling as if I was still caught up in some dream. I closed my eyes and quickly opened them again, seeing everything still remained ... that nothing had vanished from me in some kind of vision.

This was real. I had my Jacob back.

I glanced over to the accent pillows that were neatly placed on the couch. He had really gone above and beyond and I was almost certain that Emily had known about this house all along and if my hunch was true, she had done incredibly well to keep it from me for as long as she had.

I sighed, as I saw Jacob return with a small package in his hand.

"This is for you... Well... for us..." He smiled.

I stood and took the package in my hands, tugging the red ribbon and opening the box to see a glass Christmas ornament that read... "Baby's fist Christmas."

My eyes welled up as he led me over to the tree. "I know it's technically a year early..."

"It's beautiful, Jacob." I softly replied.

"Gotta pick a good spot for it, honey."

I searched the tree, seeing a small bare section in the very middle.

"Here?" I asked him with a grin.

"Looks good to me."

I placed the ornament on the tree, seeing its beauty radiate with the glow of the lights.

I took a small step back, marveling at it, and feeling my heart full of pure joy when my eyes soon caught the shiny glimpse of something in the tree... Something placed just below where I had hung our new ornament. I leaned in, trying to make out what it was, as I reached out for the branch, seeing the glint of a silver band shine through the faint coverings of pine.

I let out a gasp when my shaking fingers gently removed the delicate ring from the tree. My heart soaring as Jacob met my gaze with a soul touching grin.

"Jake..."

He gently took the ring from my trembling hand and I watched in pure awe as he dropped down on one knee there before me.

"Bells... " He began, holding my gaze as his voice shook with emotion. "I have loved you since before I even really knew what love was. When we were just two kids playing in the sand on first beach. You stole my heart way back then. It's been with you ever since... and it will never belong to another... you're my other half, honey... My soul mate. Without you... I'm not whole. I know we're still young... and that life can be a crazy ride sometimes... but I wanna take that ride with you... be by your side through anything and everything."

I truly felt as if the world had stopped turning... that all movement of any other kind was now non existent. For in this moment with him... nothing else mattered.

"I give you all of me... forever... and I promise to love you unconditionally ... with all that I am for as long as I live. I swear to fiercely protect you... To keep you safe... To be your supporter ... Your best friend... I promise that if you'll let me ... I'll do everything I can to make every dream you have come true. Isabella Maria Swan... Please... Please let me hold your heart with mine... forever... Will you marry me?"

I watched as his tears spilled, seeing his hands shake as he awaited my answer. My breath seemed to be gone as I tried to gather myself enough to speak.

"Yes... Jake... Yes ... I'll marry you." I breathed to him, still feeling utterly awe struck in this moment with him.

Pure joy lit up his face as he slid the beautiful ring on my finger. I saw the reverence he held for it as he spoke.

"This was my mothers ring, honey... No one has touched it since she passed... "

I felt my own tears run down my face as he placed a soft kiss to the symbol of love he had just placed on my hand.

Another gasp left me as the true sanctity of this moment hit me... This was Sarah's ring... and he had given it to me.

He rose to his feet, pulling me to him as I cradled his face. "I'm honored to be yours, Jacob ... Now ... and forever."

"I love you, Bells." He breathed against my lips. "You are my forever, honey."

I had never dreamed that I would be so blessed on this Christmas. Never imagined, in my wildest dreams, that my wish would even come true and yet here I was, being held in the strong arms of the man who would now and forever be the keeper of my heart... The solid sanctuary for my soul.

I would never forget this Christmas... Not for as long as I lived.

Jacob was home and he had truly taken my breath away.


	82. Chapter 84

**A/N: First off... lets just start this note by saying that this chapter is long overdue... I know! Trust me... it has been agony for me to not have the time to write lately. But Thankfully, I finally found my window of opportunity and grabbed it while I could today. I hope all of you will stay tuned for the next chapter! :-) I promise it will be coming soon! As I always say... Thank you to everyone who has followed this story and HAPPY READING! xoxo**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - FOUR**

**(BPOV)**

The ring now on my left hand, sparkled brightly as I held it out to admire. The fire's glow surrounding us as I beamed up at the man who had made my Christmas amazing. I was only half paying attention when I heard the sound of my mother and father's voices carry swiftly in through the house.

"Bella? Jacob?" I heard Charlie yell at the door.

Jacob's grin was wide when he took my hand. "Come on honey. Looks like we're wanted."

I returned his grin and was eager to see the surprised smiles that crested my parents faces the moment we met them in the entry way.

"Jake?" My mother thoughtfully sighed, reaching out to him. "You're really back?"

He nodded to her with a genuine smile as she hugged him, leaving a now stoic looking Charlie lingering in the door way.

"Wh... When did you-" Charlie began.

"Just this evening, Charlie. It's been a long journey to get back here." Jake replied. "But worth every struggle to be back home."

I grinned as he raised my hand and my mothers gasp revealed to me that she had indeed seen the engagement ring on my finger.

"Bella?" Renee gushed. "That's- ... you're-..."

"... Marrying my best friend-" I finished, wrapping my arms around Jacob's waist, unable to contain my enthusiasm.

"Engaged?" Charlie asked, his face turning a shade of familiar red and his eyes growing wide, as he glanced down at the ring that shined brightly.

Jacob released me and took a step toward my father. His hand reaching out and offering a firm handshake to him.

"I know it's sudden... but..."

Charlie cleared his throat and glanced my way with his earnest reply. "Sudden? No... No... it's not sudden, Jacob. You've ... had eyes for my daughter for a long time... I uh... truthfully... couldn't be happier for the two of you."

I grinned widely at them both, seeing my mothers eyes grow misty as she caught another glimpse of my ring.

"It's beautiful, Bella." Renee sighed, wiping away the tears that began to spill down her blushing cheeks. "It's-"

"Sarah's..." I softly replied, seeing my mothers tears of joy spill down her cheeks.

Before another word could be spoken, Sam and Emily, along with the entire pack came rushing in from outside. Their grins just as wide and their laughter infectious when they all greeted Jacob with open arms.

Sam took hold of him first. His tight hold on Jacob making my eyes well up.

"I missed you, brother... so good to have you back here with us."

"It's good to be back." Jake sighed, sweeping Emily up into a warm embrace before lovingly touching baby Levi's cheek, who laid fast asleep in his carrier.

"You're a sight for sore eyes!" Emily beamed up at him. Her grin truly captivating.

Paul then came into the house, wheeling Billy through the front door with him. His tired eyes widening when Jacob stepped forward. The look they shared alone had silenced everyone's welcome home chatter. A pin drop could have been heard when Billy wheeled himself free from Paul, approaching Jacob with a whispered hope in his quavering baratone.

"... They told me ... but ... but I didn't dare to hope-" Billy breathed, as Jacob crouched down before him, wrapping his father up in a fierce hug that had the room full of emotion.

"I'm back, dad. I'm home now... for good."

Billy breathed a sigh of relief as he pulled back to look Jacob in the eye.

"You've overcome great adversity, my boy. I knew you could..."

"I didn't do it alone... faith like that... from all of you here...back home... it's what held me together and what got me through."

Billy smiled to him as Seth then came wandering up over the porch steps with a limping Leah at his side.

"... and the help of my brother..." Jake finished, walking over to Seth and pulling both he and Leah into tight embraces. "I wouldn't have made it through without them... any of them."

Sam soon wrapped an arm around me, placing a kiss to the top of my head with his whispered words of joy.

"Told you he'd be back, Bella."

I nodded, wiping away my endless happy tears, and catching Billy's eye from across the room. His smile appearing to be as wide as I'd ever seen it.

"This Holiday wouldn't have been complete without you, my boy." Billy sighed, as Charlie placed an assuring hand on his shoulder.

"Got that right." Emily added with a grin of her own. Her gaze just as full of emotion as my own. She paused when she grabbed my hand, swiftly catching sight of the ring. Her beaming grin growing to be impossibly bright, as she showed it to to the rest of the pack now filtering in through the open front door. I couldn't help but grin as they all began to pat Jacob on the back with their congratulations.

"Holy shit Bro... you wasted no time." Paul teased, playfully shoving into him.

"Nope... Life is too short..." Jake replied, retaking my hand as Emily pulled me into a hug.

"Oh my goodness, Bella! I'm so happy for you! We have so much planning to do! Think of all the bridal shops we have to visit soon!"

My eyes grew wide at her enthusiasm, and I felt Jake draw me in closer to his side with a grin of encouragement.

"There will be plenty of time for that." He chuckled, kissing my cheek. "One thing at a time."

His free hand then came to lightly touch my stomach, causing a rush of butterflies to invade it.

"I say all this calls for a celebration!" Sam yelled. "Let's have a huge welcome home breakfast tomorrow for our brother Jake's return? My place?"

Emily was all too excited when she kissed Sam. The pack was also pretty enthused, their cheering revealing as much when they all soon added their request for food in the morning.

"Oh man... that sounds awesome, Sam!" Paul laughed. "Bacon and eggs... oh and maybe even a ham?"

Emily laughed as she dug out a small pad of paper and pen from her purse, eager to write down each request as the rest of the pack followed us through the house. Jake gave them all a proper tour and they each offered me their warm wishes of congrats before settling down in the living room. We all eventually piled in there, my mother and Phil coming to sit on the couch with me and Jake. Charlie stood by the Christmas tree, admiring its offered beauty with an appreciative grin.

"Hell of a tree there, Jake." Charlie sighed, touching one of the many ornaments.

"Has a lot of memories too." Billy added, clearing his throat.

"This tree was..."

"Mom's..." Jake quickly replied, causing a much needed silence to settle over the room with his heartfelt tone.

"She would be real proud of what you've done here, son. Without a doubt." Charlie sighed, coming to sit on the arm of the leather couch next to me. His smile small and his gaze reflective as it met mine.

I knew he was happy for me, but I suspected that just under the calm surface was the daunting thought of me... his only little girl... getting married and now having a baby of her own. I didn't allow it to go unnoticed as my free hand took his with a soft smile, whispering the heartfelt words... "I love you," to him.

He returned the softly spoken sentiment with a gentle squeeze to my hand.

I listened to the ambient chatter among everyone, joining in with my own two cents every now and then and seeing Emily soon warm a bottle for little Levi. Her smile appearing to be permanent as she chatted along to Sam and Paul about possible times to meet for breakfast in the morning.

Jacob later took the time to explain some of the hardships of his journey home and I found myself physically wincing at some of his descriptions. He grew silent when Sam asked him a question that had no doubt been on all of our minds.

"So... how the hell did you finally conquer the alpha's reign, bro? I've only experienced a shred of it's power and it was..." Sam trailed off, glancing reflectively toward the fireplace that blazed high.

"I uh..." Jake began, his hand reaching for mine again as I slowly curled myself around his arm, sensing the hesitation in his words. "It's... a long story... and I think we've all heard enough for tonight?"

Sam nodded, shooting a glance to Emily who soon placed Levi in his arms. "It is getting pretty damn late. Almost one in the morning. Where the hell did the time go?"

"We should get going too there, old man." Billy piped up from across the room. "We need some rest if we're gonna make that bright and early breakfast Emily and Sam are hosting in the morning!"

"True!" Charlie laughed in reply, standing up and zipping his jacket. "Hopefully the snow is done falling."

Jake stood, drawing me up with him and shook Charlie's hand once more. The look they shared causing my heart to warm. There were no words spoken but it was clear with just that look that they had shared a silent and brief conversation of some sort ... an understanding.

Jake released Charlie's hand as I hugged him and held him tight. "Thank you so much, dad ... for everything. For being apart of this wonderful secret... and... for being there for me through this. I love you ... forever."

He squeezed me tight and whispered. "Always." In my hair as I pulled away, meeting his tearful gaze. "You will always be my little girl."

"I know..." I mouthed to him as he turned to push Billy towards the front door. Jacob then zipped up his fathers jacket with a grin of his own.

"See you in the morning, dad?"

"Wouldn't miss it, my boy ... Wouldn't miss it." Billy replied, taking my hand with a sincere smile as Jake embraced him.

Emily caught my hand next, her eyes full of true joy as she spoke. "I am thrilled for you, Bella ... and I hope you sleep well... for the first time in weeks, my friend."

I hugged her and thanked her for all she had done for me in Jake's absence. "I'd do it again." Emily replied, with a teary eyed smile.

Sam then pulled me into a hug as he handed Levi's carrier to Emily. "We'll be missing you around the house, Bella. Don't be a stranger?"

"No way... You're stuck with me... for a long time." I laughed in reply, releasing him and seeing them slip outside into the cold and snow.

Renee and Phil were the last to leave the house. My mothers sincere smile putting some of my nerves at ease. I had been really worried about how she would react to Jacob once she saw him in the flesh again, but to my relief, she offered him a hug and he eagerly accepted it. Their embrace appearing genuine to me before she kissed me on the cheek and said "Good night. "

"See you in the morning for breakfast?" Jake asked, patting Phil on the back as they stepped out onto the porch.

"Yes... sure will. We'll be there." Renee replied with a wave to us. "Sleep well, sweetheart."

"I will." I softly replied, feeling Jake's warm arms come to wrap around me.

We stood there in the doorway and watched them as they all took off. The entire pack, with the exception of Sam, heading straight for the bitter cold forest. I shivered at just the thought as the last set of headlights disappeared from our driveway.

Jake quickly shut the door and pulled me close to him, his warmth so inviting and so missed over these long torturous weeks without him.

Silence settled through the house as we stayed in our embrace. My heart feeling now as if it might burst from being so full.

"I'm ... gonna... be your wife..." I breathed to him in disbelief.

I felt his warm fingertips lightly graze the hem of my shirt, barely skimming my bare skin. My body carnally craving him from his small and seemingly simple touch.

The house felt utterly still as his warm whisper soon touched my ear.

"I missed you ... so much... Everything about you... your voice... the sound of your heartbeat... The feel of you in my arms like this."

I felt the familiar chill run up my spine as he drew me further into him, his lips a mere breath away from brushing my neck.

"I was lost... without you... I didn't know if I'd ever feel your arms around me again or... if I'd ever hear your voice..." I confessed.

He gently kissed the groove of my neck with his whispered reply. "I'm never leaving you again..."

Like a lit flame that only grew higher, my body ached for him with a desire so heavy it was hard to ignore.

"Sleeping without you was... nearly impossible..."

He paused then, pulling back just enough to meet my gaze, as his warm hands came up to cradle my face. "I know the feeling..."

"Tell me... everything..." I quietly asked him. "I know there's more you haven't yet shared... What was it like out there?"

"Hell on earth..."

I kissed him softly, hearing the reserve in his tone and wanting to ease his memory of it all. The feel of his lips on mine had my hold on him tightening, and my body reacting swiftly to his firm embrace as he deepened the kiss. His tongue sensually brushing mine and an anguished moan leaving him when I felt him haul me up into his arms where I became like putty in his hands.

He carried me to our new bedroom, his kisses thorough and never ending. I basked in his warmth. Reveling in the heat between us, and remembering to never be so foolish enough as to take it for granted again... Not ever again. For I now knew what his absence truly felt like and it was a feeling I never wanted to experience for as long as I live.

His hands were swift to remove the offending barriers of clothing from me that separated us. Before I could utter a single word more to him, my own hands were feverishly undoing the tops of his jeans as he stripped himself free of his t - shirt. His kiss was hungry and I was soon laid beneath him, my hands everywhere, roaming the fine sculpted contours of the man who continued to make me weak at the knees. Every touch I cherished and every caress I savored. My heart beating fast as he made sweet love to me. It had been far too long since I'd felt his hands on me this way... Far too long since his name had fallen from my lips in carnal bliss... Too many nights since I'd felt his body become one with my own. So tonight... I would hold him a little tighter and treasure his every touch a little bit more. I ached to feel the very essence of his soul touch my own. Being so many nights without him had left me empty and hollow and I was eager to be consumed in his very being.

All sense of time had escaped me as our passion carried on throughout the night. It wasn't until I saw the glimmers of early morning light streaming in through the half opened curtains, that I realized we had been completely lost in each other till dawn.

Our bodies were covered in a fine sheen of sweat, and tangled up among the heavy cotton sheets when I finally felt my strength dwindle past the point of return. As if to answer a silent plea from me, Jacob pulled me close to him, his kiss soft to my forehead as I tucked the comforters in around us.

"We're gonna be late for breakfast..." I sighed, kissing his neck softly as I came to rest with him.

"... We might be late... but... it was well worth it, honey." He replied to me in a whisper.

"Absolutely." I yawned, closing my eyes and listening intently to the soothing rhythm of his strong heartbeat. No music of any kind could ever touch it's meaning for me. I soon felt his fingers gently run through my hair as I slowly succumbed to the thorough exhaustion that had been plaguing me now for weeks.

My last request to him being whispered and heartfelt. "Don't let go..."

I felt his hold on me tighten with his own hushed reply. "Never..."


	83. Chapter 85

**A/N: Hello Everyone! :-) I know... it has been too long again since I last updated! But I hope to make it up to you all by posting two chapters back to back tonight! Another huge thank you to everyone who has followed this story! As I have always said... HAPPY READING! :-) xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - FIVE**

**(BPOV)  
**

I awoke to warm hands caressing my bare back as the sun peered in through the bedroom windows. It's light alerting me to the start of a new day but it's rays harsh as Jacob's warm lips touched my shoulder. His hands still wandering.

"We're so late..." He huskily whispered. The tone itself to be warm and alluring.

"How late?" I mumbled, turning over to face him, and grinning when I saw his eyes wander appreciatively over my bare breasts as the thin cotton sheet slipped from my hands.

"Really late..." He sighed, pulling me to him. "It's nearly noon, honey."

"Really?" I asked, surprise evident in my tone. "We slept that late?"

"We both needed it..."

"Agreed." I replied, feeling somewhat guilty for our tardiness. "Do you think they'll forgive us."

"Oh I know they will. I got ahold of Sam four hours ago... told him we'd be way late."

"You were up at eight? You should've got me up then." I softly laughed.

Jacob shook his head in protest, his eyes meeting mine with sincerity as he spoke. "No way, honey... You looked too peaceful to disturb... besides... if you ask me... staying right here... in our home... in our bed together... all morning... There's no other way I'd rather start the day."

I grinned as he placed his hand under my chin, drawing me in even closer for a kiss. His lips soft and warm as they met mine.

"I can't tell you how much I missed you..." I sighed against his mouth, feeling him roll onto his back, abruptly taking me with him.

"I missed you more, Bells... in ways I can't even explain." He sighed, lacing our fingers together and placing a chaste kiss to the ring now displayed on my left hand. The sight of it made me smile wide as it glinted in the sunlight. It's delicate and unique beauty, truly breathtaking.

Jacob soon slipped his hand from mine, slowly sitting up and running his thumb over the precious band. His look reserved and his warm eyes intently focused upon it.

"She would want you to have it... to wear it... It's yours now, honey." He whispered.

Something in his tone caught my attention as he stared at the diamond sparkling in the abundant sunlight that filled our bedroom.

I slowly reached up, delicately touching his cheek with the backs of my fingers, my hand coming to lift his chin to see the solemn expression he now wore. His gaze appearing to be far away when it met mine.

"I'm honored to wear this, Jacob. I'll treasure it forever." I whispered softly to him.

He offered me a genuine smile in return, but it faded all too fast for my liking and left me wandering what was festering for him just beneath the surface. It was evident to me that he was lost in thoughts I had yet to be privy to.

He kissed me sweetly on the lips as he tried to get out of bed. But I was far from ready to leave the warm sanctuary of our new bed yet and I displayed my strong protest by wrapping my arms around him, feeling him still his movements as he held me to him in response.

"Can we stay here... for just... a little while longer... please?"

My tone was soft but pleading as he pulled back to meet my gaze.

"Of course." He replied, his full lips tantalizingly close to mine with his whisper. "We can stay right here as long as you want to."

I drew in a shaky breath as he placed a kiss to the hollow groove of my neck, my very skin beginning to deliciously hum. His lips trailed down to my collar bone, where I felt the wet scrape of his teeth lightly against my shoulder while his hands swiftly slid up my bare back, as I removed the small sheet barrier between us, now feeling the familiar and encompassing warmth of his bare skin when it touched mine. A soft moan left me when his warm fingertips lightly grazed my breasts, sending chills up my spine as the pain diffusing heat of adrenaline began to invade my system. His simple touch, making the very blood in my veins feel heavier when it rushed through me, as his thumb began to circle my pert nipple, his lips eagerly seeking mine.

I kissed him with abandon as he drew my naked body flush to his. A small gasp left me when I felt his arousal firmly press against my soft flesh. His hand soon wandered down between my naked thighs, where his fingertips caressed my sex. My heart began to pound as I felt the familiar heady ache between my legs hastily return from his skillful touch. I couldn't help the nearly inaudible whimper that left me when he gently slid two fingers within me. My skin flushed with erotic heat as his husky words surrounded me.

"You feel_ so good_, honey."

His continued touch soon had me panting and unable to form a single word to him in reply. I surrendered any prior thought or incessant worry and became submerged in the pleasure that thrummed through me.

"I've missed touching you... and tasting you... hearing you..." Jake whispered as his lips claimed mine in a hungry kiss.

Before I knew it, he had rolled us and I was soon flat on my back, seeing his lust filled gaze drink me in from above as he pulled the rest of the sheet down, leaving me on full display for him. His mouth touched the supple flesh of my stomach and I trembled as he trailed hot kisses clear down to my inner most thigh. My cheeks flushed with rich color as his tongue began to caress my wet folds. My fingers dug into the mattress beneath me while he swirled his tongue around and around. Teasing me... taunting me... Bringing me to the brink with every warm flick of his tongue. Waves of carnal pleasure slid slowly down my legs as his strong hands gripped my thighs. No other high could ever begin to compare with this kind of pure erotic bliss. My back arched when I felt him ease his warm fingers inside me. My body beginning to writhe and his name falling again from my panting lips as the heavy burn within, began to rise higher with every intimate caress of his tongue and every skillful stroke of his fingers. For minutes on end, it grew from deep inside me, the raw carnal throbbing ache that continued to peak, over and over again, conducted by the unique rhythm of his tongue. I was falling apart in only a way that_ he_ could make me fall. My legs began to tremble all the more as my body soon warmed with the rush of my fast approaching orgasm. My entire body tingled as I came on his tongue. The feeling like that of a heavy tidal wave crashing into me ... one that I had no desire to resurface from. I wanted to drown in the throes of pleasure with him and to never make apologies for doing so. My moans of ecstasy were soon silenced by his fevered kiss as he gently withdrew his fingers and pressed himself against my aching center, running the very tip of him along my slick folds. His eyes fixed on mine as the sunlight struck his handsome face.

He then entered me without reprieve and I was overtaken by the sensation of fullness ... over run by the divine feeling of utter completeness with him.

His thrusts were slow and deliberate at first, but swiftly changed to a faster pace as my cries of pleasure continued to echo throughout our new house.

I was lost in him... in his touch... consumed by the lingering erotic high still swimming through my veins. His hold on me was tight, bet never seemed tight enough. I simply couldn't get enough of him. For I had greatly missed every part of him in his absence. I had missed his caress. I had ached for weeks for him to touch me like this and now that he was here with me... in our own home... where we could truly be free for expression... I wanted him to have his way with me in every room. I was eager to explore his every fantasy... to fulfill his every deep desire. I couldn't help the cries that left me as Jacobs thrusts pushed me further into carnal bliss. My throat feeling coarse from them. Jacob's fingers laced with mine as his lips brushed my ear. His strained and breathy tone, coming to be the sexiest damn thing I had ever heard.

"You can be as loud as you want to here... I love the sounds you make for me... I wanna hear them... "

I felt his body soon begin to shake with his impending release, his hand tightening in mine as his thrusts went deeper, causing my own body to come apart at the seams there beneath him. I was powerless to silence his name as it fell reverently from my panting lips. My voice sounding hoarse now and the searing heat between us leaving me nearly breathless. My nails raked harshly down the russet skin of his toned back. His own breathing heavy as a volatile cuss then came from his mouth in response.

"Fuck..."

Our bodies synchronized with his remaining few thrusts. His lips claimed mine as his release soon over took him, pouring himself into me with a powerful final thrust. We were staring at one another in awe, our bodies tangled in bedding and now covered in sweat. My body flooded with flush warmth as my pleasure ebbed, slowly coming down from my own climactic high. My entire body trembled as Jacob placed his head on my chest, wrapping his arms tighter around me as we laid there together. Our breathing still ragged, as I gently ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the silky and somewhat damp strands slide between them. His hair was longer since he'd returned and apart of me wished he would let it grow out the way it used to be when we were younger. His hand soon caught mine as he raised his head, peering up at me with an intuitive expression.

"You miss it long, don't you?" He breathed to me in question.

I bashfully nodded in reply to him, biting my bottom lip with a shy grin as he reached his hand up and touched my cheek.

"I could grow it out for you... if you really wanted me to?"

I smiled widely at his offer and he kissed me before I could say anything else on the matter. His lips so full and soft that I had to physically pry myself away from him for fear of never leaving the bedroom today.

"We should at least make an appearance at Sam's?" I whispered to him, seeing his now frowned expression.

"Really?"

"Yes... Besides..." I lightly teased. "We have every room in this house to christen... later?"

I watched in satisfaction as a pearly white grin lit up his face from my words. "Every room..."

"Each and every one of them... more than once..." I breathed in reply, as he rolled onto his back. His grin still wide while glancing up at the ceiling.

"How much later?"

"This evening..." I suggested with a soft giggle as I gathered the sheet around me and sat up, feeling the room spin and my stomach suddenly churn in response. I sucked in a sharp breath and heard Jacobs warm chuckle cease as he sat up with me. His eyes thoughtfully studying my sudden paled expression as he swept my hair away from my face.

"You haven't eaten anything, honey... all day..." He stated in concern. "Sit tight... I'll be right back."

I nodded and watched him as he quickly dressed and left the bedroom. I felt utterly foolish for being so damn careless. After all, I had known better than to go all day without eating at least a little something. I clutched the sheet tightly around me as the nausea suddenly grew worse. I slowly stood and grabbed Jacob's shirt as I scurried down the hall to the bathroom, barely making it to the sink, and feeling the sudden onslaught of nausea steadily continue. I waited there a few seconds, bracing by the sink and hoping it would pass. I soon sucked in a few more breaths, feeling the nausea slowly begin to fade as I turned the faucet on and splashed some cold water on my face. I reached for the hand towel, softly dabbing my face dry while carefully sitting down on the edge of the tub.

I heard a soft knock come to the closed door. Jacob's concern evident in his tone when he spoke.

"Bells... honey... can I come in?"

I stood and opened the door for him, apparent shame clear on my face as his gaze met mine.

"I know better... really careless of me..." I whispered.

"Hey... " Jake sighed, cradling my face. "Don't be so hard on yourself, honey. This is all new... for both of us. I made you toast. It's on the table. Eat something and maybe you'll feel better."

I took his offered hand and followed him into the dining room, seeing the toast and juice there on the table waiting for me.

"You're not hungry?" I asked in apparent disbelief.

"I'm pretty sure that Emily made enough food to last. I'll grab something over there later. But you need to eat something first."

I nodded and gingerly sat down at our new table. My grin wide as I ran my hand over the smoothly stained surface.

"I love this table..."

Jacob's smile was just as wide as mine when he sat in the empty chair next to me. "I hoped you would."

"I love that it's... not bought... but made... by you... by your own two hands."

He leaned and placed a kiss on my forehead before slowly pushing the plate of toast my way. "Please eat."

I took my time with eating and managed to keep it down. My nausea all but dissipating after the second slice of buttery toast.

Jacob seemed content with observing every bite I took. His eyes full of a nervous energy I had never seen in them before.

"I'm fine, you know?" I asked, sensing his worry.

"I know... I just hate that I wasn't here from the start." He sighed, picking up my empty plate from the table.

"You did what you had to do. I'm not angry with you for that, Jacob. I never could be." I replied, taking his free hand in mine.

"I don't want to miss anything else. Not a single thing."

"You won't." I replied, seeing the look of true remorse that plagued his features. "I... I haven't seen a doctor yet..." I then meekly confessed, adverting his gaze.

"I know..." He replied, pulling me up from the chair.

"You do?"

"Your mom left me a voicemail ... after they left last night. I got it earlier this morning when I called Sam about us being late for breakfast."

I bit down nervously on my bottom lip, seeing his look of disapproval now plainly there.

"I... just... wanted to wait... for you... to come back home." I admitted, feeling the hot tears unexpectedly sting my eyes with my words.

Jacob drew me close to him, his gaze meeting mine with sympathy and understanding.

"I know you did... I'm not mad, honey. I'm worried is all. I want the both of you healthy. So... what do you say we call the doctor tomorrow? Make an appointment for you sometime this week?"

I nodded to him in reply as he took my dishes to the sink, his hand still in my own. "I should get showered. So we can go to Emily's? I think we've kept everyone there waiting long enough?"

"They'll understand ... trust me." He replied with a wink as his lips sought mine. His kiss swiftly changing from sweetly sensual to passionate.

A soft moan left me when he soon broke the kiss with an eager grin. His hands undoing the buttons of his over sized shirt I had draped over me from before. "You know... We could try out that new tub... Or the shower..." He seductively suggested, his tone alone more than enough to make me whimper.

"That would be nice..." I softly replied with a mischievous grin.

He chuckled and scooped me up as I giggled from the rush of butterflies that invaded my stomach.

"What are we waiting for!" He whispered against my lips as he carried me down the hall, and placed me on my feet by the bathroom door.

I watched him as he filled the tub, adding bubbles for my enjoyment with a shy grin on his face. I smiled back at him, feeling my desire already pool between my legs as he walked slowly towards me. His fingers barely brushing my bare skin as he removed his shirt from me.

This kind of living with the man I loved was certainly something I could get used to.


	84. Chapter 86

**A/N: Okay so as I promised, here is the next chapter. Stay tuned for more this weekend! I am free to write till Sunday! :) HAPPY READING EVERYONE!  
**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - SIX**

**(JPOV)**

I had only been home a mere twenty - four hours and I hadn't let Bella out of my sight for any of them. I wanted her within arms reach of me at all times. I had known enough of the tortuous hell that living without her was. I had been without her for weeks prior to my return, and I never wanted to feel that kind of raw emptiness again. I watched her sleep, held her close, and gave us both what we desperately needed... what we had achingly been without for weeks until now..._ each other. _

I craved to touch her... every part of her... all the time. She was like a high I never wanted to stop chasing. I had been without her for far too many nights and I wanted nothing more than to hold her close every chance I got. I listened to her heartbeat while she slept in my arms, in our new home, intently hearing its closeness and instinctively searching for that of another equally treasured sound ... a softer, more frantic beat that came from within her...

It was there... the same way it had been when I saw my mother, when she helped me find my way back home. The very same beat that had pulled me from the dark and dominant clutches of the beast. It was a sound like no other... I could hear the precious heartbeat of our unborn child. The rhythm of it, like a new melody I had come to now know by heart. I hadn't shared this revelation with Bella yet, but I planned to very soon.

The vision of what my mother had shown we was still ever present in the back of my mind and I wanted it to remain that way. This was my only small piece of her soul that I got to keep with me, and I knew the day would come all too soon when recalling her laughter or the sound of her voice, wouldn't be so easy. It was something I greatly feared, so I chose to cling to the memory of our brief time together for as long as I possibly could.

There were many moments, since I had returned home, that I would just stare at Bella. Take in her beauty ... see the contented and peaceful expression she wore on her face while she slept. I would marvel at just how damn much I loved this woman, unable to stop myself from thinking about what could of happened if my mother hadn't helped me through. It was a reality that I had come far too close to.

I knew shortly after everyone left last night, that we would never make it to Sam and Emily's for the early morning breakfast, and Sam was hardly surprised when I told him as much earlier this morning. He knew we'd be lucky to resurface from the house before dusk tonight and he was sure to relay the message to Emily. I was more than grateful for their support and hospitality, and it definitely wouldn't go without mention, but I had no true intention of leaving our house today. I wanted Bella to myself and I knew everyone would understand that.

My desire for her was unrestrained and I just couldn't keep my hands off her, even if I tried... which I didn't.

We were now in our own home and under our own roof. We didn't have to be careful or wonder when someone would unexpectedly come home and interrupt us. The freedom was liberating and it only drove my lust for her all the more. At this rate, I expected to tire her out before too long, but to my surprise, she was eager and didn't show any signs of wanting a break. My hands roamed every inch of her soft creamy skin, savoring the feel of her beneath my palms in the suds filled tub. Like a thirst that could not be quenched, I simply couldn't get my fill of her. She was intoxicating for me and I planned on enjoying every hour with her. The rest of the world would have to carry on without us... if only for a little while.

I felt her body relax against me as I ran my hand down across her abdomen, hearing her breath hitch with anticipation now. She laid her head back against my chest, her hand catching mine before it wandered further South.

"You know this tub won't be enough room for-" She started, her words soon coming to a halt when I slipped my hand free from hers and began to caress her intimately.

"Who says I plan on just sex in this tub, honey?" I breathed close to her ear, seeing her eyes close as I continued to caress her with my fingertips. "Maybe I wanna start with you in here... and finish with you somewhere else?"

She only nodded to me in reply as my other hand snaked around to knead her breast. She stilled at my touch, her moans soft and inviting to hear. I felt her back slightly arch as she shifted her hips forward, a louder moan coming from her now.

I listened closely to the heavy pounding of her heart. Hearing her breath quicken and feeling her body tense with sexual need as I rolled her pert nipple between my thumb and index finger. It isn't long before she is panting and gripping the edge of the tub. Her every moan making me grow impossibly hard for her.

"I love touching every part of you." I whispered.

"Jake..." She softly cried, as her back arched against me once more.

I felt my dick twitch from the sound of her nearly silent plea. My hands stilling as she abruptly turned in my arms to kiss me. Her naked body wet and flush against mine. My tongue swept hers with hunger as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Her breathing heavy when she begs me to take her.

"I want you now... please..."

I stood and swiftly gathered her up in my arms, feeling her legs wrap securely around my waist when I stepped out of the tub and crossed the hall to our bedroom, laying her there on the bed beneath me. Both of us dripping wet. I covered her body with mine, kissing her thoroughly as I entered her with a hard thrust. A dry sob left her then with her heartfelt confession to me.

"I almost lost you... I thought you were never coming back..."

"I'm never leaving you again." I replied in a strained breath to her. Her thighs wrapped around me as I began to move, listening to every cry from her and sensing the heavy weight of carnal need linger over us.

I never took my eyes off her with every firm thrust I made, carefully observing her every expression and seeing no sign of discomfort from my harsh rhythm. I soon hitched her left thigh higher, allowing my thrusts to go even deeper, hearing her cries of pleasure fill the bedroom and echo down the hall.

It was enough to make me lose myself entirely in her. In the feeling of her so tightly wrapped around me. I felt my release hastily approach as I quickened my pace with her, unable to hold out any longer. Her back arched as my hand gripped her thigh. Her legs quivering around me as I spill myself into her, feeling her own pleasure peak. She throws her head back with a choked cry, and I watch her closely as her pleasure consumes her in waves, my final thrust leaving her breathless as her brown eyes meet mine. I soon still and pull her to me, kissing her and feeling her trembling body in my arms.

I lived and breathed for her alone. She was my beginning and my end.

I climbed fully into bed with her, wrapping the blankets around us and holding her close to me as the memory of what my mother had shown me, played for the tenth time in my head. I could have lost her forever ... I had been inches from losing it all.

The hushed sounds of our breathing filled the room while I ran my fingers through Bella's long hair as she slept on my chest. Her hand resting just above my heart. I glanced down, seeing my mothers ring on her finger and feeling my heart swell with pride as I kissed the top of her head.

"I will love you forever, Bells." I whispered, knowing she was already sound asleep.

I soon drifted off with her. My eyes too heavy to keep open. When I awoke a few short hours later, I turned and reached for Bella only to discover that she wasn't there. My hand running along the empty space in bed where she had been before. I sat up and glanced around the bedroom to see it was nearly dusk now. The sun would soon be setting, bringing an end to another day. The aroma of food filled my senses as I yelled for her.

"Bells?"

Hearing no reply, I pulled on some jeans that I dug out from my drawer and headed into the kitchen, pausing when I saw her dressed in a silky black lingerie set while hovering over the stove.

I walked up behind her to see her intently reading a recipe book that was opened on the counter. Her hands covered in flour as she peered up at me with a bashful grin.

"I figured since we're no longer eating at Sam and Emily's today, we should at least have something for dinner?"

I wrapped my arms around her waist with a kiss to her cheek as my gaze crossed the recipe book she was using. The familiarity in its pages making her reach for it.

"Where... where did you get this?" I asked, seeing the hand writing and feeling the prominent lump now in my throat.

Bella quickly wiped her hands and turned to face me, her eyes swimming with joy when she spoke.

"It was a gift ... that your dad left wrapped in the drawer by the fridge... It was..."

"My mother's..." I finished for her, thumbing through the worn pages and running my fingertips over the writing. Her hands had touched this. This was a huge tangible piece of my mother.

"Yes... Your dad left a note with it." She replied, reaching over to retrieve a small folded up piece of paper from the counter and offering it to me.

I slowly took it from her and read the contents:

_Dear Jake and Bella,_

_I wish you both the best of luck on this new journey together. _

_I hope you fill your new home with many memories for years to come. _

_This was Sarah's cookbook. All the recipes she placed in here are by her hand._

_ They were all written from her years ago and I know she would want it with the two of you now. I hope you will put it to good use, Bella._

_With all my love for you both..._

_Billy_

I set the note on the counter, still stunned that my father had kept this all these years. This was the very same cook book that my mother used to bake cookies for us kids with.

"I remember this book." Bella whispered, as I set it down on the counter before her with shaky hands. "I remember a few times that she let us help her with mixing the cookie dough... when you and I were little... remember?"

I nodded to her, feeling a heavy ache hit my chest as I thought of mom again. Her face clear for me to picture from our recent time together. I swallowed hard and felt Bella's fingers lace with mine.

"Jake..." She hedged, her tone alone telling me she could sense where my heart was in this moment. "I..."

"I saw her, Bella..." I interjected, hesitantly meeting her questioning gaze.

"What?" She breathed in reply.

"I ... I know it sounds ... crazy... but... I did... I- I- saw her. She... brought me back to you... back home."

I watched Bella's face pale as she reached for me.

"When? When did you? I mean... how-?"

"I don't know... I ... I can't explain it myself. But I swear to you it's true. I did see her. I even talked to her... and she talked to me. I wouldn't be here without her."

Bella looked as if she didn't know what to say. She shook her head in confusion a few more times before wrapping her arms around me. Her softly spoken words the exact thing I needed to hear right now.

"Tell me... I want to hear every part of it... every detail..." She pleaded with me. Her tone laced with the kind of real worry that I had expected. After all, if someone told me they saw their mother long after she'd passed, I would be worried for that persons sanity, too. It was only natural to be.

"I know you probably think I'm crazy, but-"

She silenced me with a kiss then. Her eyes full of understanding and her tone genuine with her reply.

"No... No... I don't think you're crazy. I believe you... Tell me everything, Jacob."

I sat down with her in the living room, feeling Bella's hand remain in mine.

"I don't know where to start..." I confessed.

"That's okay... We have all night..." She replied, her fingertips lightly grazing my arm.

"I was... at my worst... Bella... I didn't know how to escape the hell that the beast had me in. I was stuck in my own fucking prison for weeks, honey."

I saw her eyes glisten from my words as I hesitantly continued.

"She... she showed me things... you... and... -" I paused, glancing to the small fireplace and remembering all that my mother had revealed to me on our journey together.

"She showed you what, Jake? You can tell me." Bella softly encouraged.

"She showed me what life would be like for you and for... our child... if I didn't fight hard enough to conquer the beast and come home. I wish I could show you everything she showed me, but it was... so real, Bella. It felt so real... she touched my hand and I could feel her when she embraced me. I could hear her voice... it was crystal clear... just like I'm talking to you right now, honey."

Bella's eyes were wide but her look revealed her eagerness to know more so I continued on.

"I had fought for days and days and it seemed as if it was a losing battle for me. I could feel my own humanity being ripped away from me. Piece by piece ... Day by Day... and I didn't know if I could fight anymore. It was ... agony... I had hit my breaking point... and that's when she came to me, Bells. Her face... was just as beautiful as it had ever been. And... her voice... the same. She told me how much you needed me and how I had to keep fighting... she reminded me of my own strength... told me she believed in me... and then she took me on this journey. She showed me the present and the future. Bella, I saw you and our child... years from now... how dark life was for you if I hadn't returned... it broke me to see it... to see you like that... but I needed it."

"You... saw me... in the future? Our child? Without you?" She asked in a whispered breath.

I nodded, seeing her emotion become evident at hearing this. The sight of it making it harder for me to continue.

"You ... waited for me, Bells..." I explained. "You would wait for me each night to come back ... and... you never lived a single day in this house... our house... it was desolate... empty... but each night you'd sit on the front porch and wait for me. Mom showed me this... all of it... and it's what pushed me to fight harder."

Bella was silent, but the tears that soon ran down her cheeks said enough for me.

I waited quietly for her to say something, all the while fearing that maybe she would think I was in fact fucking crazy. That maybe my time in the wild and under the beasts reign had pushed me too far this time and I needed a psych evaluation, but when she soon took my face in her hands and kissed me softly on the lips, she gave me the assurance I had been hoping for.

"... I believe you..." She breathed to me with conviction.

"I know it doesn't make sense-"

"It doesn't need to. Not everything has to make sense or be explained to be real, Jacob. It's real to you... It's what got you through in your darkest hour and that's what matters... It's all that matters."

The timer from the oven then began to beep, stopping our conversation as she quickly kissed me on the lips and headed for the kitchen, only to pause suddenly before she left the living room.

"She was right you know?" She sighed, glancing back my way with sincerity in her brown eyes. "I would wait for you forever, Jacob Ephraim."

I smiled warmly to her, seeing her return it as she left me there temporarily with my thoughts, deeply pondering what she had just said.

Was she right? Was I allowed to believe in what happened with my mother without any further need for explanation? Was there some things that simply couldn't be explained? I knew I wanted to believe that what I shared with my mother on that journey was real... it was real to me and if what Bella had said was true, than my belief in it should be enough. I was back home where I was no longer a prisoner to the beast and my mother had helped me get here. Deep down I knew that this was all I needed to believe in.


	85. Chapter 87

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters belong to the talented Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: I'd like to start by saying its been wonderful reading your reviews :-) All of them make me smile and I greatly appreciate each one. I look forward to hearing what you all think about this chapter. HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - SEVEN**

**(BPOV)**

I had listened to every word Jacob had said. Heard every emotion behind his voice when he spoke of the time he had with his mother. Listened closely to the firm belief that laced his every word about her. He painted a clear canvas in my mind as he shared everything with me, telling me about the journey they had experienced in great detail, and by the end of it, I knew without question how very true this was for him. It was evident to me that Sarah had somehow reached in and captured the man that Jacob was... ultimately giving him the strength and determination he needed... and saving his life. I couldn't help the awed expression on my face as I hung on every story Jacob told. His experience with her, captivating to hear. When midnight finally came, the fire he had started in the fireplace began to dwindle and Jacob kindly draped a blanket over me before heading out into the back yard to gather more wood. I heard him close the front door and I sharply exhaled, thinking upon all he had just told me. My mind tried to piece together some kind of logical explanation for it, but the harder I tried, the more I came back to the very same conclusion I had told Jacob before... Sometimes you can't explain things that occur and this was certainly turning out to be one of those times. I had to accept the fact that Sarah had saved Jacob's life... and she had done so from beyond the grave. I was beginning to truly believe that nothing was impossible anymore... that in the supernatural world I found myself in... anything could occur.

My eyes soon drifted up to catch sight of the picture of Sarah and Jacob with his sisters that was placed on our mantle. The dim glow from the fire, reflecting its light from the glass and highlighting Sarah's pretty smile she had worn that day. I slowly stood from the sofa, letting the blanket fall and wandered over closer to the fire. I took hold of the picture in my hands and wished more than anything that I could physically hug her just one more time. Tell her how very thankful I was that she had saved Jacob's life... given him back the gift of his humanity. I ran my fingertips across the delicate wood carvings of the frame, seeing the detail and still marveling at Jacob's handy and talented craftsmanship. I carefully placed the photo back in its rightful place as a voice filters in from behind me, it's sudden presence enough to startle me as I jump back, nearly knocking into the Christmas tree. I cussed and spun fully around to see Paul standing there, his hands reaching out reflexively to help steady me. I shook my head in humiliation as I met his wide gaze.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to startle you." He explained, gesturing to the tree.

"That's ok... I didn't expect it to be you behind me." I admitted.

"I stopped in to check on you and Jacob. I'm running patrol with Leah and Sam tonight. Their on the porch, talking to Jake... figured I'd say hello."

I grinned as he took a step toward me with open arms, his embrace strong as he hugged me.

"I'm glad you stopped in." I replied, as I pull away, glancing down to secure a few more buttons on the flannel shirt Jacob had offered me a few hours ago. I was relieved that I wasn't still in my skimpy lingerie from before. This shirt was long enough to just barely graze the top of my knee's, providing me with enough cover.

I saw Paul quickly advert my gaze as I nervously secured another button.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have popped in like this-" Paul began, as he turned from me.

I quickly caught his arm as he tried to leave, feeling rude by my nervous silence.

"Paul... wait..."

He paused momentarily, and half turned back to face me. His expression almost sad now.

"I'm sorry. It's really nice that you stopped in to check on us. I've missed you and I can't thank you enough for all you did for me while Jake was gone."

"You're family... and in case you haven't heard... it's what we do. We missed you both at breakfast this morning. But... we get it." He said in reply to me with a knowing wink. My cheeks turning a shade of crimson red now when I see him chuckle and dismissively shrug, as I desperately fumble for a response.

"We..." I soon stammered.

"No explanation needed, Bella... Really." He assured me with a small pat to my shoulder. "I'm just glad he's back and that your smile has returned. Missed seeing it on you."

"Thanks, Paul."

"I just wanted to let you know that if either of you need anything... feel free to give me a call."

His tone was nothing but genuine and it made my heart warm to hear his kind offer. Paul had become like the brother I never got the blessing to have and I was thankful for our recent closeness.

"I really appreciate all you and the pack have done for me... I hope you know how grateful I am."

He grinned to me in reply and pulled me into half a hug before ducking out of the living room with a wave.

"See you later, Bella."

"Goodnight Paul." I replied as he left, feeling the cold air from the opened front door surround me as he went. I violently shiver and hurry back to the warm couch, wrapping the heavy blanket around me and contently waiting there for Jacob.

The minutes pass and I was soon becoming far too exhausted to stay awake. I started off toward the bedroom when the sound of my cell phone ringing temporarily halts my steps. I quickly then retreat to the kitchen, seeing it light up on the counter with its incessant ringing. The ten digit number on display appearing to me as unfamiliar. I noted the time as I reluctantly answered it.

"Hello?"

There was no reply as I waited. Glancing down at the number again and repeating myself, thinking there was a bad connection.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

Still nothing. I simply shrug and end the call, assuming it had to be a mis - dial, or even possibly a drunk dial... someone who was mixed up while trying to call a different number. I dismiss it and turn, heading back towards the bedroom when my cell phone rang again, causing me to pause and turn back with a huff of irritation as I clumsily rush to answer it for the second time.

"Hello."

There was no answer again. as I listened closely to the static creep in through the other end of the call. I glanced down once more at the lit up screen, seeing that my signal strength was good and noting the number to be indeed the same from moments before.

"Hello?"

I was greeted with nothing more for a reply than continued static as Jacob then came inside. The sound of the house door closing, startling me further as I ended the call for the second time and placed the phone back on the counter.

"Sorry I took so long, honey." Jake sighed, reaching for me. "You look tired?"

I nodded in reply and hugged him, my eyes glancing out around his shoulder at my phone and seeing it's back light now slowly dim.

"What did Sam have to say? Were they upset we didn't come to breakfast this morning?" I softly ask.

"No, honey. Sam and the others understand that we needed our time together today. He was just filling me in on patrol runs and telling me about some of the new scheduling he set in place when I was gone. I thanked him for taking over for me and told him we'd meet at his place for coffee in the morning? Your mom and Phil plan to be there, too and Charlie is bringing dad over there later. So we'll still get to have breakfast with them... just a day late." He chuckled.

I nodded my reply and tightened my arms around him, my eyes still glued to the phone in unnerving anticipation.

I felt Jacob place a kiss to the side of my head as I reluctantly released him.

"You alright?" He soon asked, his dark eyes searching mine.

"Yeah... I think I'm just... over tired... Can we head to bed?"

"Absolutely, honey." He replied, taking my hand and switching off the lights in the house. My heart picking up in pace as I glance back once more at my phone.

"Did you lock the front door?" I suddenly asked, feeling his hand tighten in mine when I pause down the darkened hall with him.

"Yes. I locked it behind me when I came in from talking to Sam, honey."

"Just checking..." I softly sighed, feeling completely ridiculous for my needless worry.

"I'm sorry Paul just popped in like that. I think he missed seeing us the most this morning."

"No, it's alright. It was real nice of him to check in on us." I reply, seeing Jake shut the bedroom door behind us and peel back the bedding before stripping down to nothing but his boxers. My eyes shamefully wandering over his well defined abs and broad shoulders and feeling my skin begin to flush from the sight. His affect on me still evident as I shut off the lamp and climb into the warm bed with him, laying my head on his chest as our legs tangle together. The darkness settling over us with a comfortable silence, feeling Jacobs strong heartbeat beneath my palm.

"Bells...?" He soon whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you... for listening ... and believing me... about mom."

"Of course I believe you, Jacob. I'm sure you miss her... a lot."

A heavy sigh left him at my words as I ran my hand across his firm chest.

"I wish I had more time with her... you know? She would've loved this... seeing us together in our own home... talking with you about all the things pregnancy brings. She would've spoiled our little one... all the time."

The sadness in his tone was damn near palpable, and it made my heart hurt for him. My mind was soon filling with the many memories of my own that I had of Sarah. She was such a lovely woman and would forever be greatly missed.

It's wasn't long before I fell into a deep sleep, cocooned in the warmth and strong sanctuary of Jacob's arms.

When the sunlight warms my face in the early morning hours, I slowly open my eyes to see Jacob standing by our bay bedroom window in nothing more than a pair of ripped and warn out, low slung jeans. His hand clutching a cup of piping hot coffee as he stares out at the morning's offered abundance of sunlight.

I sit up and stretch, feeling my muscles to be a bit sore as he turns around with a wide grin to meet my gaze. The smile on his face is captivating as he sits down on the edge of the bed, his hand reaching up to brush away the locks of bed hair that fall heavily around my face. He hands me the full cup of coffee with a knowing smirk in place.

"It's decaf, sweetheart."

"I figured as much." I replied, kissing his cheek. "Thank you."

"Stomach okay this morning?"

"Yeah... at the moment." I softly stated, taking a small sip of the delicious french vanilla flavored coffee. "Mmm... My favorite."

"I know." He chuckled, his eyes lighting up with his laughter.

"I didn't sleep too late, did I?"

"No... it's barely seven, baby."

I yawned and placed the coffee on the nightstand as my hands reach for his. "Have I told you how much I love this house... our house?"

His grin is huge and I find myself marveling, once again, at the beauty this man possesses.

"You may have mentioned it... a time or two." He replied, with a teasing tone.

"You have made me so happy, Jacob. I couldn't ask for more."

His smile remained, but only for a little while longer, as I see it slip a bit, taking note of his swift change in demeanor when he releases my hands and leans in to kiss me tenderly on the lips before standing and retreating to his side of the room. I d him intently, as he digs through his top dresser drawer, appearing to be in search for something. I reached over for my coffee, feeling the warmth from the mug to be inviting, as he sits back down on the edge of the bed, his hands now clutching a hand written letter. My eyes roamed over the writing, seeing Rachel's name signed at the bottom, and carefully watching the solemn expression that prominently plagues Jacob's features when he hands it to me.

"She left this for me... Rachel... Dad told her about the house. She stuck it in the door before she headed to the airport."

I read the lengthy letter in front of me, hearing a heavy sigh come from Jacob when I flipped the page over to read the remaining paragraph on the back. Her words with him were harsh and her unspoken tone, almost biting as she expressed her immense disappointment in the way Jacob had cared for his father. Her words making anger flood through me. She was being accusatory in her letter to him. Telling him that she felt he needed to place Billy in a home for his own well being, based on the fact that in her opinion, Jake no longer would make Billy a top priority. That our relationship had somehow far overshadowed his care and loyalty to his father. I felt my blood boil as I placed the note on the bed besides us, my gaze meeting Jake's and immediately seeing the hurt her cruel letter had inflicted. I moved myself out from the covers, drawing up on my knees in front of him as my arms wrapped around his neck.

"She had no right to leave that for you." I tersely stated. "You take wonderful care of Billy."

"When I'm here..." He solemnly countered.

"All the time..." I vehemently replied, sensing the heavy guilt and self doubt that overwhelmed him now. I feel him draw me into his lap and I willingly went, our fingers lacing together as he sat there with me in silence. The moments ticking by as his eyes stay down cast.

I chose to remain calm on on the surface, but I was damn fuming inside. My skin prickling with it as I glanced back down to the offensive note.

"Jake..." I soon sighed, willing him to look up at me, and seeing the hurt loom in his gaze.

"I let her down..."

"No you didn't. You were in the fight of your life. She has no idea what you've been through... what we've all been through." I replied, sucking in a shaky breath when his remorseful eyes left mine.

"I should've just told her the truth... long ago."

"And risk her safety? You did what you felt was best, Jacob. Whether she see's it or not. You've always made your father a top priority in your life ... you've taken good care of him... and you've done it for years."

"I think she helped him secure his place at that facility, Bells." He whispered, his tone shaky and laced with immense dread when he spoke.

"What? How do you know that?"

"Because I had a strong hunch after reading that letter... and I called her... Before you woke up just a few minutes ago."

I stood from his lap, as he rose from the bed, reaching into his back pocket and handing me a check for a large amount of money. One that was made out to him with Rachel's signature at the bottom.

"She left this for you...?" I asked him, in disbelief.

"It's the tuition money dad sent her for college last year. She gave it back. When I asked her about it on the phone this morning, she informed me that her new boyfriend is putting her through school now. She said she doesn't want anymore pity handouts from dad. I told her it would break his heart and that it meant so much to dad to help her pay, but she refused to listen and asked me not to call her again. She told me she was no longer interested in being part of our fractured family -_ her words, not mine."_

"She actually said that to you?" I asked, handing him the check back with a disgusted shake of my head.

"Yeah... and more..." He whispered, his voice strained. "She told me that mom was the glue that held our family together, and without her, we were never going to be the same... so why pretend anymore. She said to tell dad to leave her alone and let her live her life now and that I'd be smart to put the returned tuition money toward his living facility costs. She said it like it meant nothing for her to speak of ... like dad was some sort of task she wanted to check of her to do list."

I heard his voice crack upon the last word, making my own eyes sting with angry tears, as I thought of the hurtful things she'd carelessly said to him. It was beyond rude and felt completely out of character for Rachel.

"He gave up so much for us when we were kids, Bella... "

I took his hands in mine, holding them both to my chest and seeing his eyes full of uncertainty as he continued.

"I can't do that to him. I can put him in a place like that."

"You won't have to." I quickly replied, seeing his gaze glisten with emotion as he draws me to him.

"I don't know what she's set in motion while I was gone. I'm almost afraid to find out." He then admitted..

His body was tense, each muscle tight with stress as he held me close. Like a coiled spring stretched beyond it's limit and ready to break at any moment.

I knew how much her words had ripped him up and I was angry at her for spewing them without further thought of their harsh impact, but I chose to continue to keep my cool for Jacob's sake.

"It doesn't matter what she's set in motion." I assured him. "Billy isn't leaving his home and if she's somehow talked him into it, then we'll talk him out of it, Jacob... Together."

"Dad was already feeling like a burden before I - ..."

I shook my head, leaning up on my tip toes and silencing him with a kiss. My heart breaking for the defeated sound in his voice.

"This isn't your fault." I whispered against his lips, feeling him rest his forehead against mine. "You've been through hell and back... twice... You are not to blame here. Rachel should've discussed this with you in a different way. Whatever we have to do... whoever we have to talk to, Jacob, we will ... and we'll fix this... together... figure it all out."

He nodded and I felt his grip on me tighten with his reply. "I love you, Bells."

I kissed him again, feeling his hand go up into my long hair with a low needy moan vibrating through his chest as his lips stilled and our kiss lingered. I feel myself melt as he holds me tightly to him and his lips brush my cheek, my chin and soon linger with promise at the hollow groove of my neck. My breath hitches when I hear another low moan come from him. The sound, sending the blood in my veins to rush with haste.

I brought his face back to mine, cradling it briefly before kissing him with untamed desire, feeling like a lit match had been dropped on a trail of gasoline, as his tongue met my own in a passionate kiss. His hand coming to firmly cup my ass. I feel the straining bulge in his jeans press firmly against me and I feel a responding moan build in the back of my throat. My hands are then swiftly in his hair, pulling him closer to me. His warm hand soon slips under the heavy material of the flannel shirt I had worn to bed last night, his fingers grazing my stomach and trailing up to firmly knead my breast. I feel the tension build between us rapidly... it's weight growing to be thick and heavy in the air around us as I break our kiss and move onto the bed, beckoning him to me with another soft moan. My fingers move fast to his belt, hearing the buckle fall to the floor when I strip it from him. His eyes clouding with a tangible lust as I rid the flannel from me, my body already craving for his touch.

Jake's eyes are glued to mine when I slowly unfasten his jeans, sliding the zipper down and licking my lips as I cup his erection. Feeling it's adequate length pulse as he steps out of his jeans and moves onto the bed with me, placing a knee between my legs. The bed dips with his weight and I whimper again when I feel his warm mouth eagerly seek mine. His body now hovering over me as I fall back into the pillows. He moves his lips down my throat, across my collar bone, languidly kissing my breasts, before taking a nipple in his mouth and flicking his tongue in a way that has my hips thrusting up, impatiently seeking friction. He is quick to hook his fingers into the tops of my lace panties, swiftly pulling them down my naked thighs with a seductive grin as his hands move back up my legs. I moan and my insides throb when his tongue comes to explore my sensitive flesh. With every caress of his tongue, the ache gets heavier, leaving me moaning and my breathing labored. The feel of his tongue circling my bundle of nerves, has my skin heated and flushed in no time and I soon beg him to take me. My voice sounding needy and high pitched with my plea now.

"Jake... please..."

His tongue doesn't stop and I feel my release almost peak and begin to blossom out. My heart pounding and my head whirling from the sensation. I let out a strangled cry when I feel his tongue dip inside me, skillfully driving me crazy. My legs beginning to tremble when he suddenly brings himself up my body, kissing me with vigor. I can taste my arousal on his tongue as I pull his boxers down, and it further excites me, leaving me all the more impatient to feel him buried deep within me. His lips pull away from mine just long enough for him to toss his boxers to the floor. His heavy breathing soon ceases at my ear as his cheek brushes against mine. I feel his hand trail up my outer thigh as he settles himself between my legs. I am unable to silence the sounds I make when he firmly thrusts into me. His grip on my upper thigh tightening as he stills only for a fleeting moment. The sensation of his fullness, making me nearly come apart beneath him instantly.

"I love you so much, Bells." He breathed. His eyes looking into mine and reaching my very soul as he speaks. "I'd be lost without you."

His heartfelt whisper has my eyes filling with tears as his cheek lovingly brushes mine again. He pulls back and thrusts harder into me. Making me writhe beneath him as he continues. My body coming more alive with his every thrust and my arms wrapped tightly around him. I wanted nothing more than to anchor myself to him. To never know the kind of soul ripping torture we had faced by being apart for weeks ever again. My hips now begin to buck, matching his thrusts and causing the world around us to seemingly fall away. I feel his hand reach for mine, lacing our fingers together and raising it over my head. I squeeze his hand as his thrusts become harder and punishing, and each one hitting the spot that left me reduced to nothing more than a trembling mess and at his complete mercy. I was on the very edge, sensing Jake's release steadily approaching when his muscles tensed and his head buried into the groove of my neck, feeling his warm and labored breath there against my skin.

My orgasm begins to pull me under, making me cling to him and cry out, as I fall over the edge of sweet release, taking Jacob with me. His entire body tensing with his final thrust and his heart hammering wildly against my own when he holds me flush to him. I run my fingertips down his back, feeling the tense muscle there and noticing how relaxed he soon becomes from my soft touch. His breathing becoming less labored as we lay naked together, a thin layer of sweat blanketing our skin now.

I grin when he lazily peers up at me through heavy lids. The kind that only a good sleep can relieve.

"Don't suppose they'd forgive us for missing another breakfast?" He asked with a chuckle, carefully withdrawing himself from me and positioning his body so he is laying next to me.

I bashfully meet his expectant deep brown gaze with a slight shake of my head. Jacob then nods to me in understanding before getting out of bed and drawing a bath for me while I wait. My own eyes becoming heavy as the minutes pass. I soon force myself to rise from my comfy state and feel two warm arms sweep me up before I can fully step out into the hall. His eyes full of care when he carries me across the hall to the bathroom and places me on the edge of the tub, handing me a towel.

"Take your time, sweetheart. I'll shower when you're done and we'll head over to Sam and Emily's." He says, kissing my forehead.

My hand reaches for his as he turns to go, seeing his eyes expectantly meet mine upon feeling my touch.

I open my mouth to speak, only to close it again when I find myself struggling for the right words in this moment.

He senses my struggle and gently squeezes my left hand, his fingers absentmindedly coming to stroke the underside of the ring he had placed there only a few days ago.

"What is it, honey?" He hedges.

"I want you to know... without a doubt ... just how wonderful you are and how truly honored I am to call you mine."

He crouched down in front of me, kissing me in a way that makes me hunger for more of him before whispering his sincere reply to me. "I will always be yours, sweetheart. I want to make you happy... in every way I can."

I kissed him once more and feel his hand slowly release mine when he turns to leave me to bathe. I soon sink into the warm and relaxing bath and find it nearly impossible to stop the permanent feeling smile from spreading across my face, the force of it making my cheeks hurt when I catch another glimpse of the ring just lingering above the surface, as my hand rests above the many bubbles that surround me. My heart is full of love, as I intently stare at the delicate diamond twinkling up at me while my other hand rests on on my stomach beneath the warm water.

"You are so loved... so cherished ... already..." I whispered, hearing my words echo reverently around me when I speak them.

I was certain that this kind of joy... this kind of love... is what made the_ impossible seem possible_. It's what gave life meaning and right now, in this moment, my heart couldn't be more full and my life couldn't have more meaning. Our future was bright and I was eager to embrace all that it had to offer.


	86. Chapter 88

**A/N: Hello again to everyone :-) It's time for yet another update! I hope you enjoy this one! I look forward to hearing from you! As I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY - EIGHT**

**(JPOV)**

The ride over to Sam and Emily's was filled with the sounds of the radio as Bella scanned the stations in search of something half way decent to listen to, her hand coming to reach for mine when she settled for a country station. The song familiar and bringing a beautiful grin to Bella's face when it fills the cab of her truck.

"I used to listen to this station with my dad all the time."

"Really?" I replied, feeling her thumb begin to stroke the top of my hand. "Never really pictured your dad to be someone who listens to a lot of country music?"

"He used to... a long time ago... He told me he started listening to it a lot when he was young... way back when he was still with my mother." She then sighed, a small sadness creeping into her tone.

"Seeing them together... over the holidays... did it bother you?"

I sensed her hesitation before she answered. Her gaze looking far out to the passing roadway.

"I didn't expect it to... But I think in some ways it does. My mother still looks at dad the same way she used to years ago... every once in a while I catch myself wondering what life would have been like if they had stayed together... if my mom hadn't left all those years ago."

"Your dad never really moved on like you mom did. Think he still wishes things were different?"

"Deep down he does... though I highly doubt he'll ever admit it." She replied, with a small shrug.

"I think your dad will probably always miss the life he could of had with your mother. Billy always told me how much he loved her when they were just young."

I took notice of how her eyes adverted mine when we pulled up to Sam and Emily's. Seeing the many cars in their driveway. Her sudden silence catching my attention, as her hand promptly leaves mine. I cut the engine and read her expression, knowing where her head is without the need for her voice to confirm it.

I stepped out of the truck and retreat to her side, opening her door for her and seeing her fake a smile to me as she steps out, and shivers from the harsh winter air. I reached for her, drawing her close to me as we start to head for Emily's front door.

"Bells... that's never gonna be us, sweetheart." I then assured her. "We have the kind of love that will last a lifetime. Till were old and grey and watching our grandchildren play in the front yard."

I saw the genuine smile that lit up her face from my words and quickly captured her lips with mine, before raising my hand to knock.

It didn't take very long for Emily to appear then, her smile genuine when she invited us in.

"Well... look here!" Sam chuckled, raising his cup of coffee to us when we crossed the threshold. "You two finally showed up for breakfast! Only a little late... twenty - four hours late!" He joked, wrapping an arm around Bella, and seeing the rapid blush that flamed red in her ivory cheeks. Emily playfully slapped Sam on the arm as he shook my hand.

"Samuel! Leave them be!" She teasingly scolded, kissing Bella on the cheek and embracing me with her free arm, while having Levi held securely to her with the other. We were surrounded by everyone in no time. Renee and Phil being the first to embrace us, and Phil's handshake firm when he offered it to me. I knew he still probably had a million questions and I had expected as much. What I didn't expect was Renee's continued worried expression. Almost as if she were afraid for Bella. I took note of the two of them sharing a silent conversation from across the kitchen table when we all sat down to eat, the looks they shared enough to catch the attention of even Sam. He shot me a questioning stare and I shook my head, silently telling him I was just as damn clueless as he appeared to be.

The entire pack was soon there and I was eager to hear about everything I had missed out on lately. Each of them having a story to tell or some sort of experience to share with me, as we piled our plates high with the many breakfast goods Emily had been kind enough to bake. Their table and counters were covered in any kind of breakfast food one may desire, and the pack wasted no time before digging in for seconds and some even reaching for thirds. The friendly banter continued on throughout the meal, filling the house with laughter and making me feel whole.

I noticed Bella add another small stack of pancakes to her plate. Her look to be somewhat bashful or even embarrassed when I handed her the maple syrup and blueberries. Emily giggled and was quick to grab a can of whip cream from the fridge, swiftly adding an ample amount to the stack on Bella's plate.

"Em..." Bella laughed, her eyes big while she stared at the toppings piled high for her. "I really don't need the extra sugar... if I keep this up, I'll be huge in no time!"

Emily just laughed with a dismissive wave of her hand, and a disapproving shake of her head. "Oh, please! You're eating for two now... you should enjoy all the extra helpings of whatever you want... whenever you want. I say it's a woman's right! After all, it's our body!"

Sam then chuckled, kissing Emily on the forehead before patting his own stomach. "Yeah... well... if that's the case, how come I packed on some weight with you in your last trimester? Before Levi was born?"

"It's not my fault if you ate double portions with me!" Emily teased him back with a wink as she grinned at Bella, who was thoroughly enjoying her pancakes.

"In my defense... you cooked a lot when you were expecting!"

"Sure, Sure." I chuckled. "Blame your poor wife, Sam."

"Hey now... We'll see how your tune changes when its you packing on the pounds in a few more months." He jokingly replied.

"No way!" Paul piped up from across the kitchen. "Jake's always had the hardier appetite of the pack... He won't gain an ounce. I hate to say it Sam, but I think I'll have to side with Emily on this one."

Sam scoffed at Paul in reply, tossing another chocolate doughnut in his mouth, and winking at Emily.

I am satisfied to see the atmosphere around the table was still much the same, and it did my spirits a great service to be among the familiar banter. I had missed my second family more than I ever knew. I was even more thrilled to see Bella finish the last bite of her pancakes and push her plate away, thanking Emily again for the huge breakfast and sipping the orange juice I had poured for her.

"Full?" I soon asked.

"Stuffed." She contentedly replied.

"Good."

When breakfast was done, Bella helped Emily with clean up. The two of them chatting away while Emily piled the many dishes in the sink. I took this opportunity to spend some time with Renee and Phil, talking to them and answering any questions they had... which as it turned out... were many. It was clear that Renee still had her reservations about Bella's overall safety with me, and while her admittance of it stung, I knew it was justified and couldn't blame her for her worry.

"I've known you since you were just a little boy, Jake. It's hard for me to process all of this this still and yet... I can see just how much you love, Bella."

"I do." I replied to her with sincerity, noticing Renee's eyes water with her fear. The sight of it was hard for me to see.

"I'm sorry... I guess it's just been a long few days... and now you guys are getting married and... having a baby-..." She sighed, pausing her words mid - thought, as she covered her mouth, a sob leaving her when she abruptly stood and collected her coat, quickly scurrying past Sam and the pack while she headed for the porch. I was quick to follow her, seeing Emily and Bella pause in the kitchen when they caught a glimpse of Renee leaving the house. I stopped by the front door, debating on how to best handle this. She was her mother. She had a right to be nervous for Bella's future, any good mother would be. But if she truly knew just how damn much I loved her daughter, she would never fear for her well being ever again. She would be at peace with the direction things were heading in for us. I sighed, as my hand lingered on the door, feeling Bella's presence behind me before she even spoke. Her heartbeat racing with anxiety as I turned back to meet her worried gaze.

"I can go talk to her." She offered, handing the dish towel to Emily and walking out around me to gather her coat. I catch her hand in mine before she places it on.

"Bells... I should be the one to talk to her, honey. She's worried for you... for your future with me and... I'm sure that must be hard for her. We've given her a lot to think about lately. Let me try and talk to her first?"

She simply nodded her reply, as she leaned up to kiss me, her glistening eyes seeking mine. "Do you know how much I love you?"

I kissed her once more and watched as she retreated back into the kitchen with Emily, her hands immediately busying to finish drying the many dishes. I slipped on my jacket, seeing Sam as he cradles a fussy Levi to his chest, nodding my way and telling me that his keen hearing had tuned in to just about every word Renee and I had exchanged. He mouthed a "Good Luck," to me, before I head out onto the snow covered porch, seeing Renee there, her eyes seeking the high moon in the nights sky. I sucked a deep breath and approached her, noticing her wipe her new tears away and hurriedly securing her hands in her coat pockets. Her embarrassment evident when she turned to address me.

"Jake... I'm sorry for my emotional mess in there. Bella isn't ... my baby girl anymore... she's a grown woman now with her own life... her own dreams... and she knows what she wants."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Renee. Bella is your daughter. .. and you want her future to be safe."

"More than you know." She reluctantly added.

"Renee..." I sighed, stepping closer to her. "I know you've been thrown into the middle of all this... and it's... a lot... to take in and try to understand-"

"More will come for her. Am I right?" She fearfully interjects then, causing a familiar heat to weave up my spine from just the implication. "There's no real way for you to guarantee her safety from them? No way to guarantee complete safety for either one of them... Not for Bella... nor for your unborn child? There's no promise you can make... I know this and from all that I've learned, the cold ones are an ever present kind of threat? Relentless and unpredictable."

Her words have the heavy heat threading up my spine with haste, causing me to take a steadying breath before speaking my reply to her.

"You're right, Renee. I can't promise you that they'll never come to Forks again. I cant possibly know when an unforeseen threat will come our way... but I can promise you that as long as there is breath in my body, I will go to the ends of the earth to protect them, Renee."

I saw the tears form in her eyes upon hearing the reverence in my voice. She knew it was true... she had to.

She then placed a hand on my shoulder as a tear rolled down her cheek. "You remind me so much of your mother."

I nodded to her, temporarily adverting her gaze and feeling my throat tighten at just the mention of her. I missed the sound of her voice more than words could describe right now.

"Means a lot ... to hear you say that, Renee."

"I know you must miss her... Holidays are always hard for missing your loved ones who have passed on."

"It is..." I reply. "Nut I know she's watching over us."

"I believe that too... Jacob... Phil and I are leaving in the morning. It's time for us to go." She suddenly says, dropping her hand from my arm.

"Why so soon? You know you can stay as long as you like... I mean... if things are getting a bit cramped at Charlie's, you can always come stay with Bella and I in the new house for a few more nights. I know Bella would sure like it."

"Well... I think it's about time for us to go back to Florida. We've far over stayed our welcome, Jacob."

"No way." I reply, stepping forward and taking her in my arms for a tight hug.

"You know... you and Bella are more than welcome to come to Florida with us? Stay for a week or so? After everything you just went through, maybe a little vacation would be nice."

I pull back to meet her thoughtful gaze, seeing the hope in her eyes when she glances toward the front door as it opens and Bella steps out onto the porch.

"Everything okay out here?" She asks, worry in her tone as she steps over to us.

"Oh yeah... Jacob and I were just having a nice talk... weren't we?" Renee replied, with a small wink to me before embracing Bella.

"Yeah... everything's fine, Bells... actually... " I paused, pondering over Renee's offer and thinking about how much it would mean to Bella to be able to go back to Florida with her mom for a visit. "You mom was just telling me that she and Phil were thinking about leaving tomorrow."

"What? Really? Already mom? You can't stay another few days?" Bella asked, her tone small and filled with a hopeful plea.

"Oh... we've been here days longer than we originally thought..." Renee replied, touching Bella's cheek when the emotion crosses her face. "Don't be sad, dear. We'll talk on the phone every day if you want to... and email and..."

"I don't want you to leave just yet..." Bella replied, pulling her mom into an embrace.

"I know, sweetie."

I sighed and glanced back toward the house to see Sam lingering closely by the front door, his ears clearly in tune to the conversation. I gave him a nod, seeing his gaze meet mine with recognition, telling me he too has heard Renee's offer.

I chuckled when he raises his beer to me, telling me in his own way that he'd cover for me. I shook my head, thinking of all the times he's taken over for me lately, and feeling immense guilt for even contemplating about asking him to do it again.

I stepped away from Bella and Renee and quietly met Sam inside by the front door. His tone, assuring when he addressed me there.

"You can take that trip, Jake. You and Bella are gonna be entering into a whole new world soon... trust me... having little ones is the best feeling in the world but it changes things... you may not have the chance to take a vacation like this with Bella again for a few more years... you should go, bro."

"I can't possibly ask you to cover for me again, Sam. You-"

"Owe you my sanity..." He earnestly replied. "Come on man, you and I both know it's true. Covering for you for a few weeks is the least I can do. You were there for me when I needed you most."

"... and you've way past paid back your debt... and then some." I interjected.

Sam glanced back when he heard a sudden whale come from a fussing Levi, who is soon cradled in Emily's arms as she tries to sooth him with a warm bottle.

"See... your time is coming before you know it, man. I'm telling you... take the trip. It's one damn week. We can handle things back here for seven days. We'll be fine. If something should come up, you know you'll be the first call I make, bro."

I sigh in defeat, knowing he has a valid point. This may be our only chance for a trip like this for a while.

"Okay Sam. Thank you. I'll talk it over with Bella and let you know soon."

"Sure thing, bud. I'll be waitin' to hear from you."

I watched him pat Seth on the back as he passed by him to take a still fussing Levi from Emily's tired arms. The joy on his face, abundant when he soon holds his boy.

I stayed standing by the front door, observing Bella and Renee talking. The truth was, I wanted to take the trip to Florida with Bella, but I knew I had to get things with dad straightened out first. With Rachel's unexpected letter and sudden change in character, I was nervous to leave town without first sitting him down and having a long talk with him. I wasn't leaving things the way they were. Who knows what Rachel had already arranged or how much damn time I now had to derail the shit she had naively set in motion.

I ran a hand over my face, thinking back to some of the words in her letter, and feeling the weight of them sink into me like concrete. It didn't make any sense. Rachel and I were always close when we were younger and dad had scrimped and saved every spare nickle he had to help pay for some of her college tuition. It had meant the world to him to be able to contribute something towards it and now Rachel seemed all too ready and willing to hurtfully toss his hard savings aside and take the free ride her new boyfriend offered her though the remainder of school. Just the idea of it made my skin boil. Who the hell was this guy and when did she start getting so serious with him? Who the hell offers to front a high college tuition bill like that without any string attached? The more I thought about it all, the shadier it became. Rachel never even mentioned she was in a committed relationship, let alone that the guy was well off.

As if on cue, I heard everyone start to hoot and holler with a welcoming applause, as Charlie and Billy drove in. Bella's whole face lit up when Charlie wheeled my dad to Sam's front door. She hugged him with a wide grin on her beautiful face and quickly embraced Billy, too. The sight of it making my heart warm.

I met dads gaze as Charlie helped push him into the house, seeing his eyes become glossy when he reached me.

"Jacob, my boy... you look well rested."

I hugged him tightly, feeling the embrace returned. "I feel a lot better."

"Good to hear, son."

I observed him as he began to mingle with the others, seeing his genuine smile and feeling the dread wash over me, as I ponder the situation with my sister.

I had no idea what she had done, or what her true intentions were by doing so, but I was damn certain I'd be getting to the bottom of it all soon enough. She wasn't taking my father out of his home... I wouldn't allow her to hurt him with her cruelty... or anyone else for that matter. Dad was staying right where he belonged... on this reservation with his family... with those who cared for his well being most... I'd see to it.


	87. Chapter 89

**A/N: Hey everyone! :-) So this update will be one of two that I will be posting today! It's a beautiful day to write! Thank you to everyone who has continued to follow this story. I appreciate each of you! I look forward to seeing your thoughts on this chapter. As I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER EIGHTY- NINE  
**

**(JPOV)**

It was sometime after midnight when Bella and I arrived back at home. The both of us ready for sleep after a long but enjoyable day spent at Sam and Emily's, surrounded by our loved ones. All the socializing had been great but had taken a toll on Bella. Her silence on the ride home told me she was upset about Renee leaving in the morning. I had yet to tell her about her mother's offer for us to join her for a brief visit in Florida, still feeling unsure if it was the right call for me to be leaving again, or if it was safe for Bella to face the stress of travel this early on in her pregnancy.

I stalked the fireplace and lit it up, seeing the amber flame blaze high as Bella sat down in the living room, her eyes full of sadness while she curled up on the couch. I joined her there, feeling her huddle herself easily into my side with a heavy sigh.

"Honey..."

"Yeah?" She replied, taking my hand and lacing our fingers together.

"About earlier... with your mom..."

"Thank you for talking to her... you didn't have to."

"Of course I did, Bells. She's your mom and I don't want her pacing the floors at night with worry for you."

"She may still anyway." Bella softly laughed. "It is mom."

I chuckled, placing a kiss to the top of her head and feeling her body further relax into mine.

"I think you might be right."

"Have you thought anymore about when we should talk to your dad... about Rachel and the house?"

"I haven't yet. I've been pondering when the best time would be. Seeing him today... so happy to be around everyone... made it harder for me to even think about losing him to some damn retired living community. He wold suffocate in there... you know it."

"I think Rachel had no business in leaving you that letter... or trying to push Billy into a place like that. What the hell is wrong with her?" Bella replied with bitterness.

"I don't know, honey. Something's amiss here. Rachel always tried to stay in touch with dad and I... none of this even feels like something she'd entertain the thought of doing."

"We'll get to the bottom of it... together." She assures me, placing a chaste kiss to my cheek. "You know... I haven't been sick to my stomach today... surprisingly."

"Good..." I replied to her with a grin, as she glanced up at me with sleep already heavy in her brown eyes. "That reminds me, honey... We have to make doctors appoint first thing in the morning."

She nodded and I recognize the nervousness in her gaze almost instantly.

"I know I have to go, I'm just..."

"Nervous..."

She laid her head back on my chest, her hand tightening in mine. I returned the gesture with a reassuring squeeze of my own.

"I'll be right there with you." I reminded her.

"I love you." She softly sighed.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

I soon heard her breathing become deep as she drifted off to sleep there with me on the couch. I was almost asleep myself when I felt my cell phone begin to buzz in my pocket. The sudden vibration waking me up as I reached in my shirt pocket to retrieve it. The number on the screen was one I had never seen before... an out of state number and I hit the ignore button, thinking it would be no more than a telemarketer trying to sell me some shit I was far from interested in. I carefully laid Bella fully down on the couch, draping a blanket over and checking the fire when I heard my phone buzzed loudly again on the coffee table. I quickly snatched it up, not wanting to disturb Bella and took the call out into the kitchen where I answered it.

"Hello?" I said with a real edge to my tone, already annoyed at the unsuspecting salesperson presumed to be on the other line. What I was greeted with was anything but that.

"J-Jacob?" The quavering voice replied. My hand clutched the phone tighter as I tried to make out the voice that was surrounded by static. "Are you... there?"

"Rach?" I asked, recognition striking me hard as I heard the familiar voice finally cut through the harsh background noise. "Is that you?"

The only response I then heard was her sobbing. Her words running together in a big blur and mixed with her tears.

"I'm s-so sorry ... I- I didn't m-mean it... any of it. He made me leave that letter!" She cried, her raw emotion strangling her words.

I looked at the clock on the wall, seeing it was nearly one in the morning, my insides already crawling from her broken words... from the thought of her in harms way.

"Rach... what the hell is going on?"

"I can't t-tell y-you." She sobbed, each word ripping its way through me and causing the memory of my mothers face to flash before me.

"You can tell me, Rachel. Where are you? Has someone hurt you? Tell me where you are and I'll come get you right now." I replied, grabbing Bella's truck keys from the counter top and holding them in a tight fist.

She sobbed all the harder at my offer for help, the sound gut wrenching as I paced the kitchen floor, listening to her fall apart and feeling fucking helpless.

"You c-cant." She soon replied, the connection growing bad with heavy interference again. "Just please t-tell dad... that I love him... Tell h-him I'm sorry... please." She begged me.

I held the phone in a death grip, hanging on her every word.

"Rachel... Tell me where you are. Who the hell is he?"

Her voice went to a hushed whisper with her next reply.

"I have to go now-"

"No! Rachel?"

"I love you, Jake."

"Rach?! Don't hang up with me! Tell me where you are... I don't care where it is... or how far the travel... I'll leave right now and come get you."

"I wish I could tell you, but if I did-"

Her words were cut off by the sound of shouting in the background... a male voice loud and angry. His words harsh with her and making me nearly shatter the phone in my hand as I listened.

"What did I say about you sneaking in here! I warned you the last time-"

The voice poured over me like liquid fire and my hands shook with rage when I heard her beg him for mercy.

"No!No!" She screamed. "I had to ... I had to call someone! Please..."

I was then met with the beeping sound of an ended call as heavy heat fervently licked its way up my spine and settled solidly into my limbs.

I tried to call her back ... immediately... but all I got was an automated greeting, telling me that the number I had tried to call was no longer in service. What the fuck. I shook with fury as I tossed my phone on the counter and cussed aloud. My head filling with images of who this man could be and what he was doing to her right now. Where the fuck was she? Who the hell was this man she was so petrified of... her boyfriend? No... no way. This was more than that. It had to be. I called Paul, and told him what had occurred, knowing most of the others were on patrol until dawn and that Sam was home asleep with Levi and Emily until he took their shifts later. Paul was quick to race over and met me on the front porch, where I was pacing and trying to stop the tremors from rocking through me.

"Who the fuck is this guy?" Paul asked, his tone already menacing when he approached me.

"I don't know." I seethed. "You should've heard her... she could hardly talk she was so upset. Whoever it is has done a number on her already. I heard him yelling at her before the line got disconnected."

"And she said that he made her leave that letter for you?"

I nodded, thinking back to how rude she had come across in it and knowing how untrue to her character the whole damn thing was.

"I have to go get her." I stated to him, opening the front door to the house and grabbing my jacket.

"Jake... Bro... you don't even know where the fuck she is or who she's with."

"Doesn't matter, Paul... She's my sister-"

"I know that. But what are you gonna do? Wander the whole damn state till you stumble across some kind of clue?"

"If I have to."

"No..." He replied, placing a hand firmly on my shoulder to stop me from stepping outside. "You just got back here. I think you should wait ..."

"Wait?" I snapped. "Wait for what? I can't exactly send a damn search party out for her. I have nothing to give the police. No number that works or anything else!"

"Jake!" He replied, his tone challenging and louder than before. "It's the middle of the night-"

"Yeah, no shit! I have no idea what this guy is capable of. If I wait... It could be too late. I'm going."

"What if I call the others and we make a border run... see if we smell anything new. It would be faster and you wouldn't be running off in the middle of the night like this." He offered. His gaze wandering past me and into the house. "For Bella..."

His words brought me up short as heavy guilt lashed at me, its bite ugly and painful when it struck me. He had a point... a valid one and I knew it. I couldn't do that to her ... not after I just got back. She would panic if she woke up and found me gone. I couldn't put her through that.

"Fuck..." I sighed.

"I'll alert the others... we'll make a run and report back to you... right here. Alright?"

I nodded, seeing him turn to leave. His eyes angry when he headed for the woods. I followed him to the front yard and listened to the familiar alerting howl that soon rang out over the snow covered forest. My tremors returning with intensity as I listened to it settle in around me. I fought the urge to phase and waited for the heat to recede, but with every minute that passed, it became harder and harder for me to ignore the pull that anchored me... the pull to be in the forest with the others... to feel the ground beneath my paws and to run like hell. I took a deep breath and sought out the sound that anchored me in a whole different way... an all consuming way... the beat that made me remember why being on two legs was well worth it. I heard the strong thrum of Bella's heart... the pounding steadiness that it offered as I slowly walked back to the porch and hunkered down on the steps, soon hearing the softer heartbeat creep in around me. The faint and rapid noise, making me close my eyes and envision what she would look like the first time I laid eyes on her... our little girl... She would take my breath away... I was certain, and she would have me wrapped around her finger for all the years to come. I wanted to tell Bella about how I knew we would be having a little girl, but a small part of me was content to wait, to let her have the surprise when the time came. If she wanted to know later on in her pregnancy, then I would surely tell her, but until then I didn't want to ruin it for her.

A solid hour passed before Paul finally returned to the house where I continued to sit on the front porch and wait. He approached me in human form, wearing his cutoffs as he emerged from the tree line, his steps soon quickening to a jog as he ran up to me with a look in his eyes that had the familiar fire weaving through me with haste.

"You caught a scent of something, didn't you?!" I sharply asked, seeing his eyes pierce through mine.

"We got more than just a scent... we got a clue..." He replied, reaching in his back pocket and pulling out a light blue shirt... a shirt I'd seen before... A shirt Rachel wore often. I snatched it from him, my senses filling with the thick acidic stench I hated as I lifted it closer to me, seeing the shirt run red toward the middle. I touched the blood, feeling it was still wet and seeing it stain my hand as I clutched the shirt in my fist.

"Leech... It's fucking leech... Go get the others... NOW!" I yelled, watching Paul head for the trees again, and phasing mid run as the liquid fire consumed me whole from rage.

I was on all fours before I could register anything else. My mind filling with Rachel and my mother as I ran full tilt for the trees. My senses in tune to every shadow that lingered across the snow as I ran straight for dads. My roar of fury washing over the forest as I went. Seth cut into my thoughts as I approached my fathers back yard, breaking free from the trees and letting out another viscous roar.

_"Tell me where you want me Jake and I'm there."_ Seth offered with a howl.

_"Guard Bella. Stay at the house. Anything even fucking flinches the wrong way... you alert the others and come get me. Understood?"_

_"Understood Jake."_ Seth replied, as I made my way across the back yard, taking in a lungful of air and feeling relieved when I found it clean. I phased back to human form, pulling on my jeans and running up over the steps. I searched for the spare house key, finding it hung up in it's usual spot and entering without hesitation. My eyes scanning the living room and seeing every flicker of moonlight that touched the floor beneath me. It's glow being the only light as I walked through the house, taking notice of everything and seeing it in its correct place. I quietly cracked open my fathers door and watched his chest rise and fall in his deep sleep, seeing the TV still on. I shut his door and retreated to the kitchen where I began rummaging through every damn drawer we had, intensely searching for something that may help me locate Rachel. I dumped out nearly every drawer, pawing through all of them until my hands caught the very thing I needed... Rachel's cell phone. She would have never left this behind... if she had left this house on her own accord... willingly.

I swallowed hard at the bile that rose in my throat as I thought of her in the hands of one of the cold ones. I turned on the phone, seeing it light with life as it powered on and displayed to me her many contacts. I scrolled through, reading the names and stopping when a new message suddenly flickered across the screen.

_Where the fuck are you? We had a deal you bitch! _

The message was from an out of state cell phone number. I quickly jotted it down and ran outside with the cell phone. My hands shaking from anger as I dialed this person.

One ring... two ring... three ring...

"Come on ... pick up you you filthy fucking parasite!" I seethed through gritted teeth as I waited, hearing the ring continue for nearly a solid minute. I angrily hung up and tried again, but I was still met with no answer.

I went back in the house, pouring out another drawer and finding the stack of letters that dad had kept from Rachel. She had sent him one each week since going off to College and I was quick to thumb through them, looking for a clue as to who this was. Just when I opened the fourth letter and began to skim it, Rachel's cell phone rang on the floor next to me. I answered it on the second ring, seeing the number that I had just previously tried now returning my call.

"Who the hell is this?" I snapped upon answering.

"Who the hell am I?" The male voice answered... "Well Jacob, I think the question here really is... who the hell are you?"

I clutched the phone in my hand, my jaw clenched so tightly that I was certain my teeth would soon shatter under the force.

"How do you know my name?" I spat back.

"How do you have Rachel's phone?" He sarcastically countered.

"This isn't a fucking game. Tell me who you are and where the hell my sister is or I swear to God-" I seethed.

"You'll what? Kill me? Is that what you were going to say... huh Jake? You would kill me?"

"Tell me where she is!" I angrily demanded.

A frantic scream then cut over the line, making me slam my fist into the floor, as I heard Rachel frantically pleading with someone.

"You should know where she is!" He laughed in mockery, his very tone to be taunting in nature. "Aren't you a tracker of some sorts? Can't you track me... smell me?"

"I already got your first clue and I don't know who the fuck you are... but if you touch her one more time-"

"You should be careful with that mouth of yours. It may get your sister here in more trouble than she's already in and we wouldn't want poor Rachel to lose anymore blood now... would we? One can only withstand so much torture before-"

I saw my father emerge from his room just them, his eyes wide when he saw the mess in the kitchen before him.

"Jacob... what-" He began.

I raised my hand, silencing him with the gesture as I listened to Rachel screaming again in the background. The sound torturous.

"Tell me who the fuck you are and why you have my sister!" I yelled, my tremors rapidly becoming more than I could withstand.

"You're asking the wrong questions, Jake. But I'm gonna give you another clue... I'm someone you've never met, but someone you need to know."

"What the hell are you talking about? What the fuck is with the riddles? You want me to meet you... tell me where the hell you are and I'll come straight to you."

"It's not so simple, Jake."

"Tell me where Rachel is!" I raged.

"She's here with me... Right where she's been all along."

"You're the one who made her leave that letter for me to find." I then stated.

"Correct.. indeed I am"

"Tell me what you're after."

"Don't you mean what we're after?" He hissed, the sound making a low growl spill from me.

"We... There's more than one of you?" I replied through gritted teeth.

"Our kind don't traditionally travel alone. The two of us have more in common than you might think. You'd be smart to keep this in mind, Jacob."

With that, he hung up. The screen showing the ended call as my fury shook me. I heaved the last kitchen drawer that laid at my feet, sending it crashing into the kitchen with a loud bang. My father's eyes wide when they met my own. He had heard it... her name... her situation. There was no keeping the truth from him.

"Who has her, Jacob?" He asked me in a hallow and desperate whisper.

"I don't know, dad." I replied, my own voice sounding far away now, as the many possible scenarios ran through my mind.

"She didn't leave on her own..." Dad soon stated in recognition. "I should have known... They've had her with them since before Christmas..."

"It's not your fault, dad. Can you remember if she ever mentioned anything in one of her letters about a guy she was seeing in College?"

He shook his head to me in silent reply, staring off blankly ahead of him, as if trying to pull some long forgotten thought from deep in his mind. "I knew there was something different about her when she came back... her eyes had lost the light in them and I couldn't understand what it was that had happened to her."

"She left me a note, dad. At the house... It was there waiting for me when I got back. She said some things that didn't even sound like her... I'm the one who should've known something was off with all this."

"Jacob, what are we up against here... why would they take her?"

"Paul did a run with the others not long ago. He brought back tangible proof of the kind she's with. It was that blue blouse of Rachel's... Paul found it... stained red and tainted with the stench of a leech. It has to be someone she trusted enough to meet with... if they'd crossed over onto La'Push land, the pack would've picked up on their scent and pursued it to the end."

I watched as dads face paled in color, his hands coming to grip his wheelchair with such force that his knuckles soon turned white. "They'll kill her... or worse...-"

"NO." I solidly stated.

"But Jacob you know their-"

"I'll get to her first." I replied, taking Rachel's phone with me as I headed back outside. My skin being replaced with russet fur before I had even fully crossed the back yard.

I had to get to her before that leech finished what he'd started. Whoever he was... or whoever they were, clearly had no idea just who the fuck they were dealing with.


	88. Chapter 90

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters are the sole property of the wonderful Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: This chapter will be from Rachel's point of view. I felt it was really important for her to have a voice during this time. I look forward to your thoughts upon this chapter. As always... Thank you for your support and HAPPY READING! ;-) xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER NINETY**

**(Rachel POV) **

I had known that this day would come. The day that my addiction would cost me far more than _just money_. I had dreaded it for months and the knowledge of it's approach made my hands shake as I lit another cigarette. My free hand clutching the steering wheel tightly, as I rounded the corner, seeing the familiar black Mercedes that was parked way down at the end of the narrow street. I took another drag from my dwindling nicotine fix as I coasted up to it, seeing the houses fade away from me the further down I drove. The broken street light above, providing us with the secretive darkness we needed. The darkness that hid my addiction from the observant eyes of daylight.

I pulled up next to the car, seeing the window roll down and a familiar face emerge from it. I slowly reached my hand down, finding the button to roll my own window down as a voice I knew all too well, cut in through the confines of my small car.

"My beautiful Rachel... Back for another fix already today?" Garrett asked, his tone revealing to me that he already knew the answer.

"Been a rough couple of weeks."

"Well... my sweetness... that's why the pharmaceutical companies are filthy rich... almost nearly as rich as myself... but not exactly." He taunted, reaching his hand out of the window and waiting for me to do the same. His eyes covered by the sunglasses he always wore. Even on days like this... when it was bitterly cold and snowing, and almost dark enough for headlights with the evenings approach, he wore them. Some could even say it was his signature look. I personally thought it made him look like a _pompous ass_, but he gave me the drug my body desperately craved, so I said nothing and would never dream of uttering my opinion to him. Garrett was every woman's dark fantasy. His charm and charisma just enough to lure you in. His skin the shade of a beautiful porcelain white and his demeanor, always calm.

"How much are you looking for? I assumed it would be the same pick up as usual?"

"You assume correct." I distantly replied, reaching into my purse and pulling out the bills needed to complete this illegal transaction on the eerily darkened street. "Here."

I handed him the cash and felt him drop the illicit substance in my awaiting hand. I clutched it tightly, feeling the light weight of it before hastily pulling my hand away. My efforts proving to not be fast enough.

Garrett caught my hand before I had slipped it back inside the window, his tight grip causing me to stifle a cry.

"Don't forget our deal, Rachel. I'm only giving you such a discount for your help in our arrangement. If you don't come through for me, I'll have no choice but to charge you full price and with interest too, I might add. Such a bill like that would cause issues for a young girl like yourself... trying to put herself through College and all. You still owe me from the last tuition bill. We wouldn't want the interest to get higher now would we?"

His tone was dark and carried with it an ample threat... one that I had to heed to.

I nodded, cautiously pulling my hand away from him as he released his iron clad grip around my wrist. The circulation nearly cut off from the force of it. I held my breath as he flashed me a crooked grin before rolling up his window.

"You enjoy that..." He muttered, before the window sealed firmly shut and he hit the gas with enough force to hear the slight squealing of tires.

I exhaled and locked my doors when I could no longer see his car in my rear view mirror. The desolate street, leaving me alone just long enough to quickly dig out a CD case from under my seat, and crush up the white powdered mind candy he had left me with.

My hands shook as I did my first line, feeling it hit the back of my throat with a bitter taste that nearly made me gag. I hated the drip but loved the high and so I would continue on with this never ending chase... going round and round on this carousel.

I soon slipped the car in drive and turned around, exiting the street and keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of a cop as I drove my way back through town... back toward the highway. I had booked a plane to leave... and I was ready to get the hell away from everyone. I was sick with the way this would hurt my father... and Jacob... wherever the hell he was... I knew he would be upset that I had left so abruptly, too. There was nothing left for me to do but leave. If my brother, or my father knew the kind of mess I was in... They would surely never see me the same again and I couldn't take their looks of disappointment or bare the thought of them no longer wanting me in the family. What I had done, and what I'd become, surely deserved such harsh treatment.

My father had made countless sacrifices for me to even attend College and I was ashamed of myself for lying to him for the better part of this academic year. The truth was... I was on academic probation and at risk of being kicked out for not attending my classes regularly. I was either too high or too wasted to drag my ass out of bed each morning. I had become someone my father wouldn't want to know and the longer I tried to keep up the charade of my former self, the more I hated to even look in the mirror and see the lie I was living reflected back at me.

I had spent hours in this very car, crying my eyes out over how messed up I'd become and what an utter disaster my life had turned into. I was someone who no longer cared about anyone but herself ... someone who gave herself over to any man that would take her... someone who had stuck herself with needles more times than I could remember... just to get high.

I'll never forget the night I met Garrett. His mere presence to be alluring when I laid eyes on him for the very first time at a frat house party. He was well off and everyone knew it. Women had thrown themselves at him from the moment he parked his Mercedes and flashed his smile on a grey day in the normally pleasant California. His clothes were always neatly pressed, dark in color and heavier than needed. But the mystery he put off drove every woman on campus bat shit crazy. They would flock to him like Bee's to honey and he relished in the attention. I had observed him the first week of school, being forcefully paired with him in the COM 200 class I was taking for a group assignment. I tried to ignore his blatant flirting, but as the days passed, I grew all the more attracted to him. Like a moth to lit flame, I would watch the way he walked and I would study the way he always seemed to be hyper aware of his surroundings. It was mesmerizing... his every mysterious move, captivating.

When the group assignment was finished for my class, he asked me to join him at his house for dinner. Telling me he lived alone and that his parents had set him up in a nice pent house down town. I was too intrigued by him to even think of saying no and before I knew it, I was sitting at his kitchen table with him feeding me a steak dinner. His own appetite appearing to be gone when he sat down next to me. His eyes amber in color and his smile brilliant when he spoke to me about his childhood. He explained he rarely saw his parents these days and that he never had any desire to relocate to the state of Florida with them. We talked for hours and I spent the rest of that evening with him, becoming fully engrossed in his every word and waiting for the next conversation to begin. It was the strongest connection I had ever felt for anyone and I found myself wanting to be near him all the time.

Over the weeks that followed, I had learned he wasn't big on public displays of affection and would often wait until we were at his house, behind closed doors before he made any kind of advance on me. His kiss was intoxicating and I was willing to do anything he asked of me... anything.

The first time he touched my bare skin, I was startled to feel how cool his temperature was compared to my own. It was strikingly different and while my mind told me to question the reasoning behind it, I never did. Call it ignorant bliss, or too fucked up to care, either way, I never asked him. For his seductive nature left me with little other thought than the need to be touched by him.

On a rainy Sunday night, after telling him about some of my own childhood, about my family, and how I had lost my mother, he offered me my first line of powdered relief. I reluctantly took his offering and the nights that followed from there were full of me being half out of my mind... under the influence of any drug he deemed suitable to give me and any amount of alcohol I could get my hands on. I would wake up, in the middle of the day, completely naked in his bed and explicitly turned on by the feel of his cold hands caressing me. My altered state making me crave his touch even more than before.

I spent countless nights with him, partook in behavior that I knew was beyond wrong and had a hard time facing my own reflection when the morning would come and I would resurface from the hazy fog of illicit substance.

During this time, I would return to my empty dorm every few weeks, and on one particular Tuesday evening, I had a message waiting on my answering machine. The red light flashing at me from across the room when I collapsed on my bed in utter exhaustion. My high gone and the after math sinking into my system, leaving me shaky, irritable and nauseated. I pulled myself up long enough to hit the play button and heard the familiar voice that kicked me in the stomach from the guilt I felt, as it echoed through my dorm room.

"Hey Rach... it's Jake... I haven't heard from you in a while... It's not like you... I know College must be real busy, but we miss you. Dad has missed your letters these past few weeks, so do me a favor and send him one? Just something so we know you're alright. I love you... hope to talk to you soon...Bye."

I hit the delete button as my hands shakily retrieved my cell phone from my purse, seeing he had called me five times over that weekend and I hadn't even texted him back. I knew my brother well enough to know that if he didn't hear something from me soon enough, he wouldn't waste anymore time with unanswered phone calls, he would drive here himself to check on me and if he did that... if he saw me like this... he would surely know how fucked up I'd become. The large circles under my eyes and track marks on my arms would be all the proof he needed and he would haul me home... kicking and screaming be damned... that's just who Jacob was.

I called and left a quick voicemail for him, assuring him to the best of my ability, that I was okay and hadn't returned his calls because of how swamped with schoolwork I'd been. I didn't carry on too long, for the fear that my voice would crack and he'd hear the change in my tone and come to see me. Jacob was good at knowing those around him... reading those he was close to... and he knew me better than anyone. We had grown so very close after mom had passed away and there were times I wanted to hear his jokes, or have a comforting and familiar fight with him over who got the remote after dinner. I missed those simpler times, but knew such days were far from my feeble grasp now.

I barely hit the brake in time when I sped up to a swiftly changing stop light in town, the jerking of the car bringing me harshly back to reality. My eyes blurry from the emotion that threatened to spill from them upon remembering all of this... thinking back to exactly when I'd sold my soul to the devil. That was months ago now and I owed Garrett a debt I knew I couldn't pay. He had asked me to do something unthinkable to repay him for the months he had fronted my College tuition and for all the illegal product discounts he'd tossed my way when I was as desperate as I was tonight... on the brink of losing my mind without my next fix. He had asked me to push my father into an assisted living facility... a nursing home of sorts... and then sell him the house and all that resided in it. Jacobs tools in the garage alone were worth enough to put a sizable dent in some of what I owed him. Dad had spent years collecting and buying them so Jake would have a half decent place to work of cars if he wanted to. I explained to Garrett that this would never work, that my brother would never go along with pushing my father into something like that. Garrett told me to try harder, to write Jacob a note and leave it for him. He gave me the words to say and I could hardly grip the pen as I wrote his hateful suggested words on lined paper. The sight of them making my tears fall down as I thought of how hurtful this would be to my brother. I hated to leave it for him but knew how dangerous Garrett could be if I didn't start to repay him.

Our relationship had rapidly changed from erotic mystery and careless fun to toxic and controlling... To dealer and buyer... I had become a slave to my own addiction and he was the one who now held the puppet strings. I held no more control over my own destiny.

I was scared out of my mind when he pulled a gun on me in his house a month prior when I told him I couldn't pay him what I owed. He told me there were other ways to collect his debt and he'd proven the significant weight behind his words on more than one occasion. He had taken me to his bedroom and thrown me down on the bed. His body too concrete for me to move or protest as he had his violent way with me. Holding me in place against my will. I felt dirty and used, like a piece of trash when he was done with me. My throat raw from screaming and my eyes swollen from crying and begging him to stop. He told me to remember who I now belonged to and that it would remain that way... until I fully paid off my debt.

I truthfully couldn't understand his need for the money in the first place. He was well off and far from being middle class. But he was lethal when angry ... mere deadly when crossed, and I shook even now when I recalled the night his hard slap had caused my cheek to run with vivid red color. The slap from him powerful enough to send me hurdling down to the cold tile floor of his kitchen. I asked him then what he was... knowing in that moment, his strength was not something that came from working out at a local gym a few times a week. His angry reply left me colder than ever.

"I'm your master... I own you, Rachel... that's all you need to know about me."

I saw the light turn green suddenly before me, the memories leaving me, as I hit the gas and sped for the highway, eager to leave town and never look back. I was nearly to the highway when I saw a red Porsche pull up behind me, lightly tapping my bumper and jerking me forward. I floored it onto the highway and watched in horror as the sports car stayed on my ass end. Revving the engine and going out around me as we reached deadly speeds. I took an approaching exit, trying to get away from the car, but it followed me and soon forced me off the road and into the snowy ditch.

I slammed my head off the steering wheel upon impact, feeling the blood trickle down my face as I tried to fight the vice like arms that gathered me. My scream was muffled by a cloth being placed over my mouth and I continued to struggle against the hands that held me against my will. But my attempts were useless. I was soon fighting to stay awake, as the cloth was held to my face, forcing me to into a state of unconsciousness.

Darkness surrounded me as I tried to blink it away, coming out from the heavy curtain of sedated sleep. I tried to move, but felt restraints tight around my wrists, the biting feel of rope burn slicing into them painfully when I tried to wiggle my wrists free. I was tied to something above me, feeling my arms above my head, secured to something metal as I shook it back and forth. I felt the recognition seep into my veins, making me scream with fear as I heard footsteps coming toward me. I could see nothing, and move nothing. My ankles were bound by heavy rope and I struggled harder to break free from them as the footsteps drew closer and closer. I could feel the panic nearly suffocate me when I heard the sound of hinges creaking as a door I had been unaware of, suddenly opened. Dim light filled the room as I looked above me, seeing the ceiling, and pulling harshly on my wrist restraints, desperate to get my hands free.

"You're wasting your strength, and trust me sweetness, you're gonna need it later."

"Garrett?" I whispered.

"That's right." He replied, running his hand along my inner thigh. I jerked away from his cold touch, my throat nearly closing with fear. "No use in flinching away."

"Don't touch me!" I yelled, feeling the bed dip under his weight as he sat there next to me. His hand wandering up my sweater.

"Stop fighting me." He sighed with satisfaction.

"Keep your cold hands off me."

"You're in no position to make demands, Rachel." He mockingly laughed.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"I'm the one who will be asking the questions from here on out and you'd be wise to answer them. I need some information from you."

"Like what!" I snapped, feeling his un - welcomed touch at my inner thigh again.

"I'm going to free your hands now and if you're obedient, we can talk without the restraints on... if not... if you try to defy me... I will not hesitate to take the ropes to you again... Do we have an understanding?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice as he set my hands free. I rubbed my wrists and sat up, seeing my ankles still bound and my clothes now torn. I shuddered to think of what he may have done to me while I was unconscious. My skin beginning to crawl at just the thought.

"How much do you think I know about you, Rachel?" Garrett asked, walking around the dimly lit room.

I remained silent, glaring at him as he paced in front of me awaiting my answer.

"I asked you a question!" He yelled, jumping me as I shook from the cold dampness of the room.

"I don't know..." I quietly replied.

"Well, would it surprise you if I told you I knew more about your own family than you do?"

I snapped my head up as his words echoed through the empty room.

"I don't believe you." I replied, straightening my shoulders and closely watching him.

"You should..."

"I don't." I scoffed in reply.

"You should listen closely to me, Rachel. Your family... particularly your brother... is not who you think he is."

I felt the cold seep further into my skin as his words surrounded me. "Leave Jake out of this! What I owe you has nothing to do with him!" I begged.

"It surely does, Rachel... After all, there is much for you to learn here. Don't you want to know_ exactly_ who your brother is?"

"I know who Jake is." I bit back, my hands shaking from a mix of fear and hatred.

"On the contrary." Garrett laughed in reply... "But by the end of this... you will."

"Don't touch him! You hear me? You leave my brother the hell alone!" I yelled, seeing Garrett's face contort in anger as he grabbed me by the throat, forcing me to look him in the eye.

"I'll touch whoever I damn well please, or have you forgotten our little arrangement. Do you need me to remind you? I gladly will."

What had I done? How could I have ever been so trusting? What had my life truly become?

I grew still and bit my tongue as he slowly backed away from me. I couldn't stop the tears that fell as I realized he would keep me here until I gave him what he wanted... or who he wanted. I violently shook as I thought of what would happen if I refused him anything. I would pay dearly at his hands. The kind of price that would leave far worse than just physical scars... The kind of scars I had suffered at his iron clad hands before, had left my idea of life itself tainted. I had barely survived the last time... I wouldn't this time... This I knew for sure.


	89. Chapter 91

**A/N: I want to start this note with a warning... The following chapter is not for immature audiences of any kind as there are graphic scenes of brutality and sexual content. Do not proceed to read beyond this note if content such as this bothers you. I would never want my writing to be offensive or to be a cause of hurt for someone. Now that I have stated this... I chose to continue on in this chapter with Rachel's point of view, because I felt her voice still needed to be heard and that her part in this story wasn't done being told. So, as I always say... Thank you so much for your continued following and support and... HAPPY READING! xoxo **

**CHAPTER NINETY - ONE**

**(Rachel POV continued...)**

I didn't dare to move an inch as Garrett's eyes stayed fixed upon me, his look terrifying and his hands clenching into tight fists at his sides.

"Your brother... owes me."

"For what?" I bitterly asked, feeling my hatred for him wash over me as he walked around the bed with a sarcastic laugh.

"Don't play dumb, Rachel. It's unbecoming of you."

"Anymore unbecoming than you forcing me off the road and taking me here against my will?" I bit back, my temper getting the better of me in the moment.

"Do you need a lesson in respect? Shall I punish you for that mouth of yours? I assure you... I have_ far better uses_ for that mouth than your sass!" He hissed, approaching me with haste.

I chose to bite my tongue again, knowing what kind of punishment he meant and choosing to obey him... for now.

"Jacob is not the brother you think you've known. He's much more than what he appears to be and you claim to know nothing about this? I find that hard to believe... just about as hard as it would be for me to believe you had gotten yourself clean. Gone back to being Rachel the sweet girl next door... Rachel the loyal friend... Rachel the loving daughter... sister... and honor roll student."

"I don't know anything." I vehemently stated.

"Let me enlighten you then." He replied, reaching his hand up and running his fingers along my neck. My breath halting in fear from his cold touch. "Your brother took something from me... many things from me in fact... and this is why you're here... why I own you now... For your financial debt is not the only repayment I seek, Rachel."

I stared straight ahead, willing myself to look away from his gaze, and seeing the plain walls ahead of me as he continued.

"Are you listening?" He then asked in irritation.

I nodded and continued my empty gaze ahead of me while he spoke. His tone low and menacing.

"Jacob is responsible for the death of my family."

I choked out a gasp... The sound loud... as if someone had struck me and forced the wind out of me.

"You're lying."

"Am I?" He hissed angrily back. His hand going into my hair, grabbing a fistful of my long black locks, and pulling so hard that I screamed out in pain, as he forced me to meet his glaring stare. "I'm not sure you're in a position to make such a statement... to doubt my truth!"

I forced out my words then, feeling him pull harder on my hair. "Jacob would never hurt anybody... unless warranted."

He released the hold he had on me, stepping back with a wide eyed look of definite betrayal.

"Warranted?" He hissed in reply to me.

"Yes... meaning... he would never lay an unjust hand on anyone... unless there was cause... unless he had no other option and if you knew my brother at all-"

"YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW YOUR OWN FAMILY... IT IS NOT I WHO HAS BEEN SO NAIVE ALL THIS TIME! SO DECEIVED AS TO BELIEVE WHAT LIFE PLAINLY APPEARS TO BE!" He raged, causing me to huddle closer to the metal head board. The tight ropes on my ankles protesting the forced change in direction. "Your brother slaughtered the only family I'd ever known... You yourself have wandered about me... all along... about the difference in us... have you not?"

I nodded, unable to look at him as he harshly spoke.

"Don't you want to know the truth?"

"How do I know what you tell me is the truth?" I countered.

"You won't... but if you doubt it, I'll show you."

His tone told me that his demonstration of the truth wouldn't be pleasant.

"So all this... is to get Jacob?" I replied, my voice shaky.

"Indeed... I have manipulated you from the start and you, being the believing and easily deceived person that you are, didn't even bother to voice your thoughts upon what I really was. How foolish and misguided of you, Rachel. Now look where you are and whose mercy you're at. But... I have some good news for you... there is a way to set this all straight... a way for you to walk out of here... of your own free will."

Angry tears stung my eyes as his words surrounded me. I knew what he was doing... baiting me... but I went along with it anyway.

"At what cost?" I asked, in an unsteady breath to him.

"Jacob." He hissed.

I snapped my head up when I heard the viscous way he hissed his name. The way his face contorted in anger as his lips formed the letters of it.

"No..." I breathed, shaking my head.

"I strongly encourage you to reconsider my offer. It is your best bet... your final chance to walk out of here a free woman. Free to run to the next dealer and get your fix... It has been hours since you last used... you must be starting to feel the unease of withdrawel by now... am I right?"

I couldn't stop myself from shaking like a leaf, as I ignored his ignorant remark and thought of my brother... of his laughter... his life. What had my mess got us all into? I sucked in a sharp breath and met his gaze, locking eyes with this monster.

"Fuck you."

The words left my mouth with a bitter hatred for him... spewing them out to him like poison ... and I braced myself for what was next. I felt his impact before I saw it. His hand coming to connect harshly with my face. The force of his slap causing blood to steadily drip from my mouth. It's crimson red flow, bright as it hit the cream colored mattress beneath me. I felt him rip my jeans, tearing them to shreds when he forcefully tried to remove them from me. I tried to fight him off, but my weak attempts did nothing, as he tore my clothes from my body, leaving them to be nothing more than rags that scattered to the cold floor. My under garments being then stripped, and torn from me in the same harsh manor. I didn't scream... though I wanted to... when I saw his eyes go black and his belt come free from his jeans. He threw it to the floor, hastily flipping me around so I was on all fours, as he roughly placed my hands on the head board, his whispered hiss making me hate him all the more.

"Better hold on tight... "

I gripped the cold bars, feeling him violently thrust into me, and biting back a scream as his movements became animalistic in nature.

I felt his iron fingers dig into the soft flesh of my back, where I was certain the bruises were already forming.

"Sure you don't want to reconsider!?" He hissed loudly, thrusting into me again and again.

I shook my head in protest as the choking sobs overwhelmed me.

I didn't care how selfish my addiction had made me... I wouldn't help this son of a bitch get his hands on my brother and no amount of torture was gonna change my mind. I'd let him kill me first. I knew my brother well and I knew what Garrett said about him couldn't be true... it couldn't be.

I felt the trickle of something warm and wet run down my inner thigh as he hauled me back by my hair. His hand wandering to painfully grasp my bare breasts.

"Be a good girl and change your mind... and I'll stop."

I didn't even acknowledge him as he flipped me harshly back over, his hands splaying my legs wide for him as he pushed into me again... forcefully placing me beneath him as he inflicted more of his pounding punishment upon me. I closed my eyes, willing the pain to become black in color as it invaded my body. His thrusts so brutal that I could no longer silence my screams.

I wanted kids someday... someday... when I got my shit together... his brutality now could take that dream from me...

His thrusting and grunting continued until he spilled himself within me. His hands still gripping my shaking legs as he moved off of me, leaving me feeling so violated and so dirty that I wanted to crawl within myself and never resurface to this cold, cruel world again.

Let the abyss take me... I wanted to feel no more.

I curled into a fetal position as he left me there in the dark and damp room alone, slamming the heavy door behind him as he went. I felt the pain from between my legs as I tried to move, wrapping my arms around myself in a way that made me feel somehow covered from anymore of his wrath. I felt the familiar warm trickle run down my inner thighs and violently shook as my fingertips touched the crimson that stained them now.

This isn't real... all of this...

This can't be real... This had to be the lasting effects of a powerful high... I was fucked up somewhere... back at my dorm apartment and all of this was just a horrible nightmare... right?

Life couldn't be so cruel... could it?

I laid there deathly still, feeling the wetness between my legs grow as the time went on.

Maybe I would get lucky and bleed out... right here... fall into a deep sleep from the loss of blood and never awaken again. One could only hope.

I heard the fast approaching footsteps a few moments later and I cursed under my breath, shaking and huddling my knees in closer to my chest.

The door creaked back open and I didn't have it in me to even look over my shoulder. I was in too much agony to move. The feel of cold fingers delicately brushing my arm caused me to suddenly jerk.

No ... no more... please...

"Leave me alone." I begged, feeling the touch linger down to my wrist. It's tentative nature taking me by surprise.

A soft voice then rang out around me, causing me to turn and glance up, feeling shocked to see a woman there above me with long golden hair. Her makeup heavy but precise, making her look like she had just stepped out of a magazine. Her red lipstick accentuating her bright white smile as she offered it to me. The kindness on her face striking me as odd considering the situation and where I was.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to startle you. My name is Kate. Garrett sent me in here to look after you." She stated. Her eyes near glowing in a shade of amber hue that mirrored Garrett's. I found the similarity striking, making me wonder if the two of them were somehow related... brother and sister... cousins even.

"You're... bleeding..." She then stated, her tone sounding as if she were in some kind of pain herself when she said it. Her eyes wandering to where the blood from Garrett's brutality pooled. She reached for me and I cringed away from her.

"Please just leave me alone." I whispered in a shaky breath.

Her face softened as she took a few cautionary steps back, her eyes wide with an alertness I had never seen before. Almost as if she could see the very dampness that hung in the cold air around us, her eyes seeming alert to every twitch of my movement or to the flickering of light that bounced off the walls from the small opening she left in the door when she entered. I had never seen anything like it and I was almost certain that I should fear her. Despite her tame nature in this moment, or her surprising eagerness to help me now, a gut instinct told me that she was far more like Garrett than I could ever imagine. I kept this in mind as she spoke to me.

"I am only here to help you... if you'll allow me to. I can help you upstairs, where I drew you a bath... I know it doesn't offer the kind of solace you need... but."

"Why?" I asked her, seeing her hand reach out from afar to me.

"Because Garrett asked me to look after you and I do what I'm told. The same way you will eventually learn to do... hopefully sooner than later... for your sake, Rachel."

"You know... my name?"

"Of course I do. I know everything about you. Well, everything that Garrett allows me to. We have followed you for months... studied your patterns... noted where your favorite places to eat were... Which library you routinely visited... closely watched your friends at the College you attend... your family... of course... your brother, Jacob."

I pulled myself up from the bed, feeling my body profusely ache as I did so. "You've watched me all this time?"

"Of course. From the first class assignment you had with Garrett... your first dinner with him... to your first time indulging in an illicit substance. I have to ask... a beautiful and smart woman such as yourself... why would you crave it? Is your life not full?" She asked.

"You've studied me long enough over these past few months. You should know."

"Your father seems honorable enough... Like a decent man."

"Don't talk about him. He has nothing to do with this. Neither does Jacob." I snapped in reply.

"You seem so very sure of yourself. If you only knew..."

"Then tell me."

"I don't think Garrett would approve of me delving into the truth so hastily. I have rules to follow and there are harsher punishments for me if I don't comply to that which he asks."

"Harsher than this?" I asked, gesturing to my naked form.

"Harsher than that... yes."

I cringed at the mere thought as she drew out a knife and quickly cut the restraints from my raw ankles. Her eyes ever watchful as I shakily stood, gathering the rags that were left of my clothing, and trying to hold them to me... shield my naked form from her watchful eyes.

Her touch was just as cold as Garrett's and it was unwelcome upon my skin, as she helped me upstairs, showing me an entirely different part of a house I had never been in before. A house large enough for two families to comfortably live in. Garrett had kept me in a basement room, in the cold and away from the comforts of the rest of the house. I had no idea the different kind of living that stood to exist only a stair case away from me.

"Where am I?" I asked Kate as she helped me ease into the warm tub, her support making me wander what her true intentions were with me now.

"In a house." She replied, adding some warm water to the tub and trying to help brush the tangles out of my long hair. I winced as she did so, feeling the bristles pull at my already sensitive scalp. She was kind enough to get my tresses tangle free and without too much discomfort.

"I know that..." I soon replied.

"And you know why I answer the way I do."

"Please... can you tell me what Garrett really wants?"

"You know the answer to this question already... your brother. He wants his blood... his vengeance and he won't rest without it."

I sunk down further into the warm water, feeling it wrap around me in a soothing manor, and while it helped ease the bone jarring ache in my body, it did nothing for the torment running through my mind. Garrett had taken me somewhere unfamiliar. I could be miles or states away from home and with everyone assuming I had left to return to California, no one would be wondering where I was for days.

"He's my brother..." I soon replied to Kate, seeing her sit down on the side of the tub, watching me bathe. "I can't-"

"You will." She asserted.

"Garrett is wrong. I know Jacob... and whatever it is Garrett thinks he did... he didn't."

"I assure you, Rachel. You're brother is responsible for more turmoil than you can imagine and when the time is right, you will hear all."

"Please tell me ... I want to know... now."

I watched as her look grew haunted and her face twisted into a painful expression when she replied.

"I know the inner turmoil you're facing now... save your brother... or save yourself. I too... once had sisters... Irina and Tanya. They were my best friends..."

"Were?"

"Their gone now. They have been for nearly a year..."

"What happened to them?" I softly asked.

"They were... adopted into a new family... and they were killed."

"Adopted?"

"In time... you will understand all of this, Rachel. For now, finish your bath and I'll find you something more suitable to wear. We look to be about the same size. I'll be right back." She replied, heading for the bathroom door and glancing back to me once before leaving. "If you're thinking of trying something to run... or get away... I would advise you to think twice before acting on such an impulse... your punishment was not fatal... this time... you may not be so lucky next time and I assure you... there will be a next time."

I felt her warning sink heavily into my veins as I finished bathing and hurried to get out of the tub when the water began to turn cold. I wrapped myself up in a towel and was relieved when Kate returned with some clothes for me... they were a bit big... but the sweater and pajama pants would surely be better than the battered and torn rags that Garrett had left me with.

I slipped them on and towel dried my hair, getting a good glimpse of myself in the full length mirror for the first time since I'd arrived at this dreadful prison they resided in. I gasped when I saw the large bruise that had formed on my left cheek, touching the swollen tissue and wincing at my reflection.

"I can... talk to Garrett about getting you some ice for that." Kate offered as we made our way out to the over sized living room where Garrett was. Just the sight of him making me want to turn in on myself... to run and hide... disappear.

"She is bathed and dressed now." Kate explained to him while helping me toward the basement door.

"Wait..." I heard Garrett call from behind us, making my breath temporarily cease. "I would like her to remain up here with us... where I can watch her... closely. Kate, you should get started on some dinner. She'll need to eat something."

Kate nodded and pulled out a kitchen chair for me where I slowly sat, and waited for her to play Susie Homemaker. Even the idea of it seemed ridiculous to me. Did they really expect me to simply play along with this bullshit? Have dinner and then what? Settle in for a damn movie? They had to be deluded if they thought I would play this game. I'd rather be dead.

"What do you feel like tonight?" Kate asked from the fridge.

Going home... seeing my father and brother... feeling their warm embraces and eating dinner with those who loved me... Where I was safe. I felt the tears well up as I met her gaze and tried to formulate a suitable response.

"Anything is fine..."

"Chicken casserole?" She then offered.

I nodded to her and drew my hands into the long sleeves of the thick grey sweater she had loaned me. My tears spilling as Garrett took the empty seat in front of me. I didn't look up from the table. I had no interest in seeing his face, or acknowledging his hated presence. I wouldn't give him the smug satisfaction of seeing my tears. I may be stuck here and held against my will... but I still had some dignity left and I would try to keep my wits about me for as long as I could, play the game the way it needed to be played... because somewhere down deep... I had a feeling that Jacob knew more about all this than he had ever let on... and he would find a way to come for me. I had this hope and I would cling to it with feeble fingertips for as long as I needed to. I could only pray that Kate's warning wouldn't come to pass ... that Garrett wouldn't deal me a fatal punishment before help for me arrived.


	90. Chapter 92

**A/N: Hey guys! I have worked hard on this chapter today and am sorry for the delay in posting. I sincerely hope this lengthy chapter makes up for it! :-) I look forward to your reviews and want to say another huge thank you to all who have faithfully followed and supported this story! As always... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER NINETY - TWO**

**(JPOV)**

I had followed her scent for miles and miles, coming up empty handed on anymore tangible proof that her cold captor had left behind for me. I had searched the better part of the night for her alone. Taking off on a dead run from my front porch when I sent Paul to alert the others. When dawn approached, I heard several pack members fade in. The chaotic ramblings making it hard for me to focus... and I had to focus... my sisters life depended on it.

_"SILENCE."_ I commanded from them as they approached, effectively hushing their maddening thoughts and gaining order. Leah, Paul, Quil and Jared were now standing in a circle around me. Their huffs loud and agitated.

"_Sam stayed behind... and has the rest on watch. Their keeping a close eye on your house."_ Paul explained.

_"And Bella."_ I stated, seeing him huff to me in reply.

_"Seth has been phasing in and out... He stayed with her. She woke up around dawn... looking for you. Last time I checked, he planned to stay right there with her... under Sam's order and supervision."_

I turned away from them, seeing the sun peek out from the clouds as images of Bella's face came fresh to my mind. The memory making a whine escape me. I had left her... _again._

"_Jake... She's okay, bro. She knows you'll come back. Seth told her what happened and she was just as worried for Rachel as we all were. She'll understand."_ He huffed, pacing in front of me now as he tried to calm the inner turmoil that seeped into me.

_"We stay united and we don't go back till we find her... bring her home."_ I ordered, taking off and hearing the trampling of their paws fast behind me.

Miles and miles faded away from me as we covered every inch of the state, our lungs burning from exhaustion when high noon came and we stopped by a river for a drink. I could feel it... the hated feeling of dread wash over me as we took a brief rest there. Where was she? Where the hell could they have taken her. Could I get to her in time?

My mothers face flashed before my eyes and I knew the knowledge of this would break her heart if she were here. As hard as I tried, I still couldn't piece together what exactly had happened to Rachel and how... and the longer I thought about it... the more plagued with gut wrenching guilt I became.

If I had been here...

If I had seen her with my own eyes...

_"Jacob..."_ Leah huffed, nudging into me as I backed away from the river. _"What if we're doing exactly what they want us to? Separate us?"_

_"I have the elders close by... they know to be watchful of the reservation while were gone." _I replied to her.

_"I feel like we're running in fucking circles."_

_"I know."_

A short lived silence settled over us as the wind picked up from the West

_"Wait..." P_aul suddenly spoke up, his tone angry._ "Wasn't there another clan close to the Cullen's... somewhere..."_

_"Denali..."_ I huffed in reply, thinking back to a time when Bella had sent this very clan a wedding invitation when she was set to marry Edward. _"Irina... Tanya... and Kate..."_

"_What... wait up... who the hell are they?"_ Jared barked.

_"The Denali clan."_ I replied, feeling the harsh wind continuing to blow around us.

_"Where the fuck is this group of parasites anyway? Where do they live?"_ Paul asked, his wolf gaze dark with hate.

_"Same damn place their name originates from... Denali, Alaska."_ I replied.

_"How fucking original."_ Paul scoffed in disgust. _"Well what the hell are we waiting for... lets go."_

_"We can't high tail it all the way to fucking Alaska. There's no way we could leave the Reservation that long. We have no idea what these parasites are planning... or if there's more of them. It's too risky... especially for Bella."_ Leah stated with a roar in reply. _"Besides, whose to say that their even back home... In Alaska... If they wanted to keep Rachel with them, and they know about us... about Jacob... they'd know that would be the next place we'd look. My bet is that they take her somewhere else... somewhere closer. I know we've covered damn near ever inch of this state, but I say we trace our run back. See if we missed something... something new... old... anything. These vamps can't be idiots, and if we think like them, then we have to at least ponder the idea that they'd keep her under our nose just to spite us... and to further hurt Jacob... Take her life right under our watch... on our territory. It's the exact kind of fucked up thinking they'd use."_

An angry growl poured from me at her words. My mind filling with Rachel and my memories with her when we were just kids. She had been the strong one when mom died. Had picked up the pieces when I'd fallen apart as a child over missing our mother. She took care of dad and helped Sue Clearwater make meals for us. She had always been the scholar of the family.

I heard Leah's whine as the memory flooded through the packs mind. My gaze falling to hers with a huff of sympathy.

"_Leah's right. We go back... we retrace our steps... till we find her. She's here somewhere... she has to be."_ I commanded, turning and running back the long way we'd came and hearing the pack swiftly follow behind me.

The terrain we crossed was rough from the ice and snow, making it more difficult to keep our fast pace as we ran. Our speed to be as fast as we could manage on four legs. Paul kept up with me and the others were never too far behind, as we crossed the many miles that led us back toward La'Push. It was nearly dark when I caught a whiff of it... just as we crossed back into Forks... the rotten acidic stench that made my insides crawl.

I dug my paws in as I whirled around, facing the others as they all skidded to a stop with clear recognition in their eyes.

_"There it is..."_ I roared, seeing them all become angry as they howled. Their instincts taking over.

_"She has to be close."_ Leah huffed my way, scanning the trees for movement in the shadowy haze the disappearance of day had left behind for us.

_"Holy fuck..."_ I cussed, feeling the shift of wind that carried more of the stench in around us. The source making me huff profusely as the realization of just where my sister was hit me with visceral weight.

_"I checked that first Jake!"_ Paul huffed my way, stepping closer to me when linking in thought._"Thoroughly."_

_"Then why can I smell them now?"_ I roared, knocking into him as I took off for the source... the irony of the whole fucking thing making me fly faster through the forest than before. None could keep up with me and I didn't care. I knew exactly where this well worn trail led... where I would soon break free from the confines of the dense forest... a destination I should have burned to the ground when I had the chance.

_"There's no way!"_ Paul yelled, coming up fast on my flanks.

_"It is."_ I replied in seething anger._ "They've had her there this whole fucking time."_

_"I checked that place... swept it clean from the inside out, Jacob! There was no scent... there was NOTHING!"_

I felt my anger grip me by the throat as I whirled back around to face him. The Alpha in my tone making him cower down to the snow covered ground beneath us. _"I don't give a shit if you swept through before, Paul! They sure in hell are there now, aren't they! I've wasted valuable time.. HOURS ... TRYING TO SCOUR THE STATE FOR HER... LEAVING NO ROCK UN - TURNED AND SHE'S BEEN HERE... WITH THEM IN THAT FUCKING ABANDONED CULLEN HOUSE THE WHOLE TIME!"_

I watched him cower all the more to my demanding and angry tone as a sick thought twisted itself in my gut.

_"If... If I'm... too late... if they've...-"_ I threatened, feeling raw power grip me as I leaned over him._ "I will banish you from this pack!"_

Paul made no sound as he stayed on the ground in submission beneath me. The others enclosing around us and witnessing my anger and threat to him.

_"Jake... they could've baited us here on purpose... or brought Rachel here from another location before we left town searching last night... Paul couldn't have kn-"_ Leah cautioned, but was quick to think better of continuing it when I let out a warning growl and advanced toward her.

I didn't wait for Paul to regain his composure as I took off running again, smelling the nauseating scent infiltrate my lungs, as the potency of it made me cough and want to puke when I rounded the paths corner that was now hidden by the darkness of night. I approached the thin line of trees that led to the Cullen's former back yard and I felt the feral rage hit me as I caught Rachel's scent... her smell tainted with the stench of leech. The mixture of them making me see red as I walked the border of the tree line, my eyes fixed on the light coming from inside their old lair. A place I had watched not so long ago when I discovered Emerson dwelling there with Edward.

I watched the lights flicker on from one room to the next, following them with my eyes and seeing a black Mercedes with California plates on it parked in the all too familiar winding driveway.

California...

Where Rachel attended College...

I felt the others soon join me, their wolf gazes all fixed on the house.

_"There looks to be only one car."_ Jared stated.

_"There's more than one scent..."_ Leah corrected him, brushing up against me as she approached. _"Kind as evil as they are... never work alone."_

I glanced back to see Paul lingering close by, his stance leery when my gaze met his. I knew my words with him were severe and while I remembered all he'd done for Bella... I was too filled with hatred in this moment to care... he had missed something... somehow... and it could end up costing me my sister.

_"We go in... all of us...-"_ Leah began in question.

_"NO... They could see us... and react before I even had a chance to...-"_ I paused, unable to continue when I thought of how my father would die in agony if one of his own had been forcefully turned into that which we loathe... that which were made to kill.

_"Okay... I see your point."_ Leah replied.

"I'm going ... in ... alone.. on two legs." I then replied, hearing her instantly huff to me in protest.

_"No fucking way!"_

_"It wasn't a question, Leah!"_ I angrily snapped.

_"They could be planning to have more show up... you said there were three sisters_."

"... and one man..." I replied.

_"So that's a possible four on one. We've only picked up on two scents so far!_" Leah strongly argued.

_"I'm going in there to get my sister... and burn that fucking house to the ground. You can either help me... be obedient ... or go home."_ I replied angrily to her.

It was Paul who then cautiously stepped up to me. _"I know you loath me right now... but I have an idea..." _He hesitantly offered.

_"Go on."_ I replied, not moving a muscle as he continued to explain.

_"We can create a diversion... lure them out... make enough noise for them... which won't take much and we can run them in a different direction... away from the house just long enough for you to go in and get Rachel. If one of them catches on to our game... we'll revert back and fight them. Anything it takes to get her away from them, right?"_

His plan was sound and while I was still rip shit pissed at him, I couldn't deny that what he offered up made sense.

_"What if this doesn't work? Is there a back up plan ..."_ Jared asked.

_"Yea... if stuff gets too thick in there... and you think they have gained the upper hand on us... you are to leave me behind and go get the rest of the pack."_ I firmly ordered.

_"What!?"_ Quil barked. _"No way bro."_

_"YES!"_ I roared, silencing anymore of his defiant protest.

_"We're not leaving you behind!"_ Leah yelled, stepping up to me in challenge.

_"You will do what I say!"_ I roared back. _"I'm not leaving Rachel in there with those blood thirsty fucking demons. If we can't pull this of on our own... YOU GO BACK!"_

She retreated away from me, her wolf gaze haunted as it met mine in obedience._ "I can't Jake..."_

_"You will!"_ I countered, feeling the authority of my command span out to the others... the weight of it heavy.

_"I can't lose another person!"_ She then screamed, her voice broken in tone.

I felt the anger swiftly recede from me as I heard this, seeing Paul move closer to her in support._ "If something goes wrong... we should all retreat together and come back united... with all of us... stronger... you always instilled within us to never leave a member of our own behind."_

_"This is different, Leah and just like you... I cannot lose another member of my family. You are to do as commanded and without further question... all of you."_

With that, I turned from them and made my way toward the diminishing tree line that lead straight to the open back yard. I took proper cover behind a large oak tree blanketed in heavy snow and phased back to human form, feeling a hand grip my shoulder as I stared at the lights glowing from inside the former Cullen lair.

_"Here..."_ Paul sighed, handing me the ratty pair of jeans he kept with him on patrol runs._ "You'll need them."_

I took them with a nod of appreciation for him as I pulled them on and crouched down by the base of the tree, my fingers digging harshly into the snow beneath me. I glanced back to see the watchful gaze of glowing eyes in the moonlight and I soon heard the loud howling come from all of them. It resonated through the forest and I saw a tall shadow move from within the house, as it approached one of the larger bay windows. I felt the heat lick fervently up my spine when the curtain pulled back and a pair of red eyes peered out into the yard with disgust. I stayed hidden and listened closely to the sound of unsettled hissed whispers settle in around me.

"What the hell was that.. Irina warned me about this sometime ago!" A woman's high pitched voice fearfully stated. "The wolves are close... I have heard many of their legends... I know how lethal they can become when threatened!"

Her tone told me that she was truly fearful and it made me grin with a sick sense of smug satisfaction when I heard it.

"They are no real match for us." A man replied, the voice making me heated to hear as I recognized it to be the exact same voice from the phone call earlier.

"What... " She hissed to him in disbelief. "Did Aro truly make you so overly confident before his untimely demise?"

The words sunk into me like poison as I began to piece some of this together... slowly but surely... piece by fucking piece.

The man laughed at her in arrogant mockery. "Don't be such a pessimist, Kate. Really... it's not a flattering look for someone whose so highly attractive... someone such as yourself."

"Don't touch me!" She snapped in reply. "I thought you had a plan! This is your plan?! To stay here with the Alpha's sister held as your captive... beat her into submission... change her against her will into one of us and then set her free as an uncontrollable newborn... to help you kill her own brother!? Was that your brilliant and clearly ill thought out plan, Garrett!?"

There was a loud crash followed by a fierce scream then.

"You will not speak to me in such a manor! Have I not taught you to hold your tongue a little better? You would think after seeing firsthand what I'd done to Rachel, you'd be a little more respectful?" He caustically stated to her.

I felt my skin bristle with heat, as a rage fit to be tied, roamed over me from his words. His overly pleased with himself tone telling me too much already. Just the way he spoke, painted an all too vivid picture in my mind... a picture that made me want to rip this twisted fuck in two. I tried to keep myself grounded to the best of my ability, but it was rapidly becoming too much for me to take. I stood from my crouched position and sucked in a sharp breath as I tried to reign in the consuming heat, willing it to idly dwell and not spread to my limbs, trying to stop the initiation of my phase. I had to stay on two legs... for now.

"I don't care what you say anymore... this kind of brutality isn't right. The Cullen's were always of good intent... a decent clan... despite what Edward did... and what it drove Carlisle to do. The three that remain from that coven are decent... even now! I've seen the good that remains in them. This isn't the kind of living they would want for me... they always held me and sisters to a standard of decency and this outright betrays that standard. You nearly killed that poor young woman! You're truly becoming much like Aro... a leader you left behind centuries ago for good reason."

"A leader who was like a mentor to me!" He snapped angrily at her. "A leader who welcomed me back into his coven after I wandered the earth for decades alone. Spreading my own misery around. He could have destroyed me and instead, he let me in again. Let me be part of his family."

"Family?" She sarcastically hissed in reply to him. "There was nothing about the Volturi that ever represented a family. It was a dictatorship! A master who wove his powerful hand to rule his faithful and dotting slaves. He allowed all of you to stain your hands over and over again with the innocent blood of hundreds and even thousands over the years. Like Lambs to a slaughter house ... you led them there. How can you even suggest this to be like family?"

"It was the only alliance I knew!" He violently hissed back. "...and it was savagely taken from me! I was sent away to do business for Aro. He trusted me with finding new members for our coven ... humans to turn and train to conform to our ways ... to form an allegiance with us. It was pure ingenious luck that I stumbled across Rachel and learned about who she was. It was only when I returned to check in with Aro months later, that I discovered the slaughter that had taken place in my absence! You remember, don't you Kate? How distraught you were when you had learned of Irina and Tanya's hidden alliance with Aro? Don't you recall how determined you were to try and destroy him, only to be stopped before you could even lay a single finger on him? I remember the horrified look on your face when Aro tore Irina and Tanya apart in front of your very eyes... I can still hear you screaming. Aro tossed you out on your ass after that ... where you belonged and you were lucky to have left Volterra at all. That was the first time I saw you, though how could we know then that it certainly wouldn't be the last? That you would be the only one left for me to return to months later?"

"I went back to take matters into my own hands... For my sisters... seeking some kind of justice for their cruel demise. When I returned... There was not a single member of the Volturi to be found... The lair was desolate. I walked into Aros throne room... unable to believe what my eyes were showing me." She replied.

"You loathed them ... and I was part of them... part of a family for the first time... a place where I belonged."

"The Volturi were ruthless predators that cared for no one. You were nothing more than a pawn they used. There was no genuine care there."

There was soon another loud crash, followed by a window breaking. I hurried to make my way around to the side of the house, staying low to the ground and listening as Paul came out from the tree cover, his roar loud and angry. Leah followed suit behind him with a viscous howl and I heard the hissing voices from within the house come closer.

"Stop!" Kate yelled. "They are here! The wolves have come for us. They will show us no mercy! You have to let Rachel go!"

"No!" Garrett loudly protested. Their figures emerging from the house with blurred speed. Paul became enraged at the sight of them, his muzzle foaming with his roar as he charged for Garrett with Leah fast behind him. Garret struck him with brutal force, sending him flying across the yard. He landed and rolled, gaining ground quickly as a menacing growl seeped past his barred teeth.

Leah was fast to retreat for the woods, their loud roars proving to work in enticing both leeches to run after them.

"How many of them can there be? Come on... their no match for us. Whose up for a rowdy game of tag? Shall we?" Garret hissed in challenge, his eyes black as he flew after them. Kate was speedy to follow. I wasted no time in entering the house, running up over the steps and pausing when I saw the many droplets of blood on the white tile floor. I listened closely to the frantic howls growing further and further away... Paul and the others were leading them on a wild goose chase... giving them the needed run around. But I knew how quick a leeches line of thinking could change... I had to act fast.

I ran upstairs, calling out Rachel's name and ransacking through everything. I trashed the place as I went along with my search for her, heaving anything I could get my hands on. I searched every room and hidden closet upstairs, finding nothing and cussing as I ran back toward the main floor.

"Rachel!" I yelled, hearing nothing and feeling my anger boil as my hand soon clutched a locked basement door. I kicked it in and ran down over the rickety wooden steps, feeling my stomach churn when the rustic smell of human blood swirled around me. My eyes adjusted rapidly to the darkness as I walked through this large and seemingly abandoned place.

I could hear the faint sound of someones shallow breathing as my hand found the light switch, seeing an old light bulb struggle to even flicker on from above me. It's buzzing loud as the weak light flooded through the dark room.

I took a few more steps, now seeing the blood on the cement floor at my feet... the torn pieces of clothing that laid nearby. Torn denim, shredded flimsy undergarments... Silk pajama pants that were covered in more fresh blood. I bit back the snarl that tried to seep through my lips as I followed the rustic red trail to a desolate corner of the cold and isolated room. I froze when my eyes suddenly caught sight of her then... Rachel. Her body naked and curled in a trembling fetal position as I slowly approached her. My eyes stinging with angry tears as I saw the bloody mattress she was laying on. Fiery heat began to lick up my spine, hastily spilling out through my limbs as my tremors hit me with great force, making my knees nearly buckle as I forced them to waver. My eyes remained glued to my sister as I reached for her, seeing the bruises that lined her back. My hand barely touching her arm and feeling how cold she was. I feared the worst then... that I had been too long... That I was too late... But to my relief she gasped and I reached for her again.

"No!" She whimpered aloud. "Please... not again... Not again!"

I couldn't stop the choking gasp that left me from her words. My head filling with the brutal images of what she must of endured down here.

"Rach..." I breathed to her, retreating to the other side of the bed, so she could see me. Her face buried in the ratty and blood stained sheet she had clutched around her mid section, covering herself the best she could..

"Please.. don't... no more... no more." She begged.

It broke me and I was rapidly losing the will to remain calm and not succumb to the rage that threatened to take me over... the rage I had for the monster that had done this to her.

I swallowed hard and crouched down beside her, reaching to touch the hand she had tightly wrapped around the sheet, her knuckles white from the force. I gently wrapped my hand around hers, seeing her flinch away from my touch and tuck the sheet closer in to herself.

She was petrified...

I felt the tears blur my vision as I tried again. Desperate for her to just look at me.

"Rach..." I whispered, reaching out and slowly pulling the sheet away from her face. She fought me and it truly ripped me up inside to see her this afraid.

When the sheet was finally away from her face, she frantically tried to scurry away from me, her body shaking from head to toe.

"Don't touch me!" She sobbed. The sheet further falling away from her in her desperate struggle.

I took hold of her then, placing my hands on her shoulders and willing her to look at me. She stopped fighting the moment her eyes finally met mine. I cradled her face, feeling her still as she looked at me in disbelief.

"Jake..."

"It's just me, Rach..."

She threw herself into my arms, desperately clinging to me.

"You came for me... I knew you would."

I quickly scooped her up, keeping the sheet wrapped around her naked body as I stood with her in my arms. That's when I heard it... the sound of shattering glass suddenly come from the main floor. A violent roar soon followed and Rachel clung to me tighter as a lethal hiss filled the house.

"You stupid dogs think you can outsmart us!" Garrett seethed. "I'll kill every last one of you!"

"Jake!" Rachel cried.

"It's okay... I'm here... he's not gonna touch you... ever again."

I listened to the fighting continue on the main floor. Hearing a loud roar and knowing which wolf it belonged to before I even laid eyes on him... Paul.

There was soon a loud crash and a whimper and I felt the fire roll through me from the sound, causing my arms to shake with tremors as I held Rachel.

"What is that?" She asked me, hearing the fight upstairs.

I had seen this conversation in my mind so many times with her... thinking of how I would tell her and Rebecca the truth one day about what I was... reveal to them who I really was... but I had never imagined it would happen like this.

"Do you trust me?" I asked her then, seeing her nod before I had even finished the question. "I need you to remember that no matter what happens... I'm getting you out of here."

"He's... strong, Jake..." She shakily whispered. "I've never seen anything like him... or Kate."

"I have." I replied, locking eyes with her.

"You know what they are, don't you?" She replied.

I nodded as I graced the first step that led us out of the abandoned basement they had kept her prisoner in.

"No..." Rachel whispered in fear. "Don't take me back up there... where he is... Jake they could kill you... and me."

"I won't let him near you. Rachel... you have to trust me."

"I'm supposed to be the one protecting you... getting you out of messes... remember?" She softly cried.

"Well... just this once... we're gonna switch roles, Rach. You can bail me out another time... I promise." I replied.

"I'm so sorry... for what I said... before ... I-"

"That wasn't you... That was him. I know you better than that."

She buried her face in my neck and began to sob, causing me to pause as she continued to tremble in my arms. Her fear damn near palpable, as the memory of us with my mother when we were just kids, ran through my mind. I clutched her tighter to me.

"I'm not that person anymore, Jake. I've... done things... things that dad would hate to hear... things that mom would cry over if she were here. I'm a liar."

"Rach..."

"It's true, Jacob." She replied. "They would be so ashamed if they knew who I was now. You all would be."

I pulled back, seeing her remorseful gaze meet mine.

"I don't care what you've done, Rachel. You're my sister... No matter what..."

"You don't know-" She countered.

"I don't have to."

"Half of the reason why we're here... is because of me..."

I met her gaze once more seeing the tears fall.

"Rach... None of this is your fault... trust me... I will tell you everything... soon..."

"If he threatens you... -"

"I'm getting you the hell away from him... for good." I replied, tightening my hold on her as we climbed the stairs. Her shaking getting worse with every stair I climbed. "I have you... and he's not gonna touch you... I'll kill him first."

I was going to end Garrett and burn this fucking house to the ground.


	91. Chapter 93

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of The Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable characters/content belong to the great Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you for your patience with this chapter. This was a difficult one for me to write and I really appreciate you waiting. I look forward to your reviews and thank you all for the continued support... HAPPY READING! xoxo **

**CHAPTER NINETY -THREE**

**(BPOV)**

I had awoken to the fire slowly flickering out. It's embers seeming to fade as my eyes fluttered open to see it's final glow before the ashes claimed it. I felt the chill of the house wrap around me as I rose up from the couch, with sleep still heavy in my gaze. The still of the house and the cold making me become more alert in seconds as I called for him.

"Jake?"

There was no answer as I made my way to the kitchen, peeking outside through the window to see the snow blow furiously around the house. I checked the bedroom, hoping that he was sound asleep in there. That maybe he was still so exhausted from all he had endured lately, that he was simply too sound asleep to hear me call for him before. When I opened the door, those hopes were dashed. The bed remained in the same disheveled mess we'd left it in hours prior.

He was gone...

I grabbed my cell phone from the counter, seeing the time flash at me... 3:47 a.m.

I had fallen asleep with him on the couch hours ago.

He was right there with me...

His warm arms around me...

I tried to keep calm as I dialed his cell phone and heard his voicemail pick up, my heart lodging itself in my throat upon hearing it. I tried it again, hearing the sound of a faint knock on the front door and running to get it.

When I swung it open and met Seth's sympathizing gaze, I knew he was missing for good reason and fear prickled at my scalp as the realization sunk into me.

"Seth?" I asked, gesturing for him to come in. He did so without hesitation and wrapped me up in a warm, brotherly embrace.

"He's not gone...okay?" He assured me, reading my panicked expression now.

"Tell me what happened! Is it Billy... Charlie?"

"...It's Rachel, Bella." He replied, as he released me from the tight hug.

"Rachel?" I asked.

"She's in trouble... The cold ones have her... it's a mess right now. Jake got a phone call shortly after you fell asleep... it was from Rachel and Jake said she was sobbing... he could hardly hear her..."

My eyes grew wide in alarm, as I saw the fear creep steadily into Seth's face while he carried on.

"We spent the rest of the night running the woods in search of her... but came up empty. Jake and some of the others have been out looking still... Jake wanted me back here with Sam to keep a watch over you... over the house ... till he comes back."

"Does... does Billy know about this?" I softly asked.

"No... Jake doesn't want to breathe a word of it until he knows more..."

I could tell by the way he spoke his reply that he meant they were all afraid Jake wouldn't be able to find Rachel... not in time... not before...

"Who... tell me... who has her? Do you know? Does Jake have a suspicion?" I asked, my mind racing to the familiar faces of Emmett, Rosalie and Esme.

No... Please... No.

"He doesn't know... but he did speak to him."

"Him?" I countered.

"Yes... Jake didn't report that he knew the voice and the last time I phased in for progress... that fact remained true. We're all in the dark here about who the hell this mystery leech is ... and why they chose to take Rachel."

"How long have... I mean... when-"

"I'm not sure, Bella. He could have had her from the time she supposedly left here right before Christmas... or a few days ago... I haven't heard anything about those details yet."

I soon sat down in the dining room with Seth, feeling the weight of the situation coil itself around me. It's strong hold on me ... truly unwelcome.

"Cullen?" I then breathed. Feeling Seth's gaze hastily upon me.

"No... it's not Emmett or Rosalie... or Esme. That much we know. We would've picked up on their specific stench by now. This is someone new and equally twisted." He replied.

"This doesn't make any sense, Seth..."

"I know... we feel damn near blind... we have no idea who they are... or what their really after."

"They took Rachel... they have to be after Jacob... or Billy?"

"It's possible, Bella."

"How many times can you phase in?" I asked, feeling my fear for Jake overwhelm my body.

"As many times as you need me to." He replied, placing his hand on my arm, seeing my panic rise by the apparent flush color in my cheeks. "Bella... take a deep breath and remember this is not going to turn out like before... Jake is coming straight back to you... My mother always taught me not to gamble, so I guess you could say I'm not much of a betting man, but if I were... I'd put all my money on Jake... Hell itself couldn't keep him from you now."

His tone was genuine and reassuring and I hugged him for his kindness.

"Thank you, Seth."

"Anytime, Bella... Anytime."

"So ... we wait?"

"We wait." He replied, standing and heading for the door. "I'll be back in ten... gotta phase in."

I nodded my reply to him as he went along his way. My head filling with the many horrifying scenarios of what Rachel was enduring... at this moment. A shudder ran through me as I got to my feet and hurriedly dressed, throwing on the first clothes I grabbed and retrieving my jacket from the coat rack by our front door.

Jacob would slaughter whoever it was that had been sick and twisted enough to take Rachel. He would show them no mercy.

I was nearly out the door when Seth cam back in, the two of us almost colliding in the entry way.

"Where are you going? At this hour?" He asked me in disapproval.

"To check on Billy."

"Bella... The pack has this. We're watching him and your folks, too. Charlie's house is guarded... so you can rest easy?"

"Rest easy?" I suddenly snapped. "Really? Is that what I'm supposed to do here, Seth? Rest up? While Jake and the others are out there... facing another vampire... or more than one... Am I just supposed to sleep... knowing Rachel is probably being brutally tortured right now?"

My tone with him sounded harsh - even to me. I watched Seth take a cautionary step back, his gaze low.

"Jake gave me a job, Bella. To watch over you and you can be mad and yell if you need to... I get it. Really I do. But either way... I'm not letting you leave here."

I scoffed, placing myself closer to him. "What? Are you seriously telling me that I'm stuck here... waiting?" I hastily replied.

"Yes."

"Seth!"

"I'm sorry, Bella." He sighed, leaning against the counter while folding his arms across his broad chest. "I have an order... and I am to follow it."

"This is insane, Seth!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air from pure frustration. "You can't just expect me to wait-"

"Jake needs you here." Seth interjected. "With me... where he knows you're safe... undoubtedly."

I shook my head in utter defeat, feeling my stomach suddenly churn. I made a dash for the sink, quickly gathering my long hair in my hands as I heaved there. Seth was right beside me as I emptied any remaining contents of my stomach into our empty kitchen sink.

When I was finished, I felt Seth's warm arm brush up against mine as he handed me a cool cloth. I took it gratefully from him, wiping my mouth and releasing the grip on my hair. Seth's eyes were a bit wide when I met his gaze and he reminded me of a scared animal ready to bolt. The sight of it made me chuckle while I went to brush my teeth.

"I'm okay, Seth." I sighed to him. "Entirely normal."

I watched him nod once, seeing his adams apple bob with his firm swallow. "I thought morning sickness was just that... something that could happen in the morning... isn't this more like... middle of the night sickness?"

"Well... technically it is early morning... and as a rule... Em tells me that morning sickness doesn't just happen in the morning." I soon explained.

"Oh... How long does that last?"

I shrugged, reaching up into the cupboard for the package of saltines. "Could be weeks... or months... everyone is different."

Seth nodded once more, his gaze intensely watchful of me as I poured a cold glass of Ginger Ale.

"Are you... scared?" He soon asked, his tone timid when he spoke.

"Yes..." I hesitantly admitted, averting his gaze.

"You're... not the only one." He replied. "I've seen into Jake's head recently... been privy to his thoughts."

I gripped the glass tightly in my hand, slowly lifting my head and seeing the nervous expression he now wore.

"What kind of thoughts?" I asked.

Seth glanced to the floor, his hands flexing in nervous fashion.

"I'm sure his thoughts are similar to yours, Bella."

"You would know... Wouldn't you?"

"I can't link minds with you the way I can with Jake, but... If I had to guess ... I would say you both fear the same things." He muttered.

I grew silent, feeling my eyes sting with the threat of tears. I tried to swallow the emotion back down before it appeared, but knew when Seth took a step forward that I was too late. He was already bearing witness to my hormonal meltdown.

"Bella I... I didn't mean anything by it... I... I meant... Jake is-"

I waved him off, seeing his alarmed expression. Like he had done something wrong.

"Hormones..." I dismissively explained.

"No... I shouldn't of said-"

"That Jake's afraid..." I finished for him, seeing his gaze meet mine in remorse.

"He wants you safe, Bella... Above all else." He explained.

"Safe from the unknown threats, right? Sure that's all it was?"

"That's where his fear comes from... only."

"I think your sugar coating this, Seth. Which is real kind of you."

"I'm not sugar coating anything. Jacob is Alpha... it's in his nature to be concerned..."

"Afraid..." I corrected him, seeing his gaze widen some in response. "You said he was afraid, remember?"

"I meant... concerned..."

"No, Seth. I believe you said it right the first time."

"It's been a long night, Bella. I'm mixing things up." He replied, desperately seeking for a way out of this.

I nodded, taking my crackers into the living room and inviting him in there to sit with me. He offered to stock the fire and I watched him as he nervously stacked the logs. I was about to ask him exactly what it was he heard from Jake's mind recently, when the sudden buzzing of my cell phone stopped me. I reached for it, seeing the caller I.D. flash as unknown to me. Seth lit a match and tossed it into the fireplace as I answered the unexpected call.

"Hello?"

Seth rose to his feet, his eyes meeting mine when an eerily familiar tone crept over the other end.

"Isabella Marie Swan?"

I felt the blood in my veins grow instantly cold as the melodic voice called my name.

"Who is this..."

"I think you know who I am... or should I say ... you know _what_ I am."

I went silent, seeing Seth reach immediately for the phone.

"Give it to me!" He demanded, his tone more stern now.

"I know you're not there alone in that house... your Alpha wouldn't be so neglectful... would he? Unlike my dear friend Edward... who abandoned you in the woods years ago."

I felt as if I couldn't breathe. My hands trembling as I stood and dropped the crackers in my lap.

"Tell me who you are... and what you want." I asked.

"Shame on you for not remembering me... you sent me a wedding invitation not so long ago... when you were still eager to marry Edward and become what we are? Remember Isabella?"

I exhaled sharply, seeing Seth reach for the phone again as tremors shook his body.

"My sisters ... Irina and Tanya are gone now... only I remain... "

"Kate?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes. It is I."

"Why-"

"Let me save you the trouble and time of asking me any of the mundane and overly ritualized questions you humans often ask. Let me just get right to the point, Bella. You see... I'm sure by now you are aware that your dear Alpha's sister is in our company..."

"Our?" I gasped.

"Yes... Garrett and I..."

"Wh-"

"I think we both can agree here that sending the wolves out for us was a bad call on his part... For his sister will pay dearly for it soon. Jacob will have to see his own turned into that which he hates. How ironic, isn't it?"

I bit my tongue, sinking down to the couch again as my head whirled and my heart raced from her words.

"You'll make her one of you..."

"Absolutely. I am currently standing on the Cullen's front porch. We have taken up temporary residence in their forgotten home." She replied.

"You have Rachel there." I stated, feeling my resolve slip as I thought of the pain she would soon endure if Jacob couldn't get to her. It would tear Both he and Billy apart if they changed her.

"Indeed we do, Isabella." Kate hissed in reply. "And this is why I'm calling you. As we speak... Garrett is about to sink his teeth into one of the wolves... "

"No." I gasped, gripping Seth's arm as he sat down next to me and listened in.

"Why yes... and I must tell you... their kind is truly remarkable. The bold and ferocious nature they possess."

"Leave them alone." I begged.

"Them?" She hissed back in question... "Don't you mean the Alpha?"

I couldn't even swallow as she continued.

"Not to worry. The wolf who Garrett will soon be feasting on, is dark silver in color-"

"No!" I gasped again. Tears blurring my vision, as Paul's face flashed before my eyes. My hand shakily clutching the phone.

"He put up one hell of a fight!" Kate hissed. "The others have hastily retreated... but one remains... and I believe he belongs to you."

"Don't touch him!" I yelled, getting to my feet. "Don't you dare!"

"Well... we're not so sweet when we're angry now are we Miss Swan?" She taunted.

"They will come back for him..."

"Will they?" She challenged.

"Absolutely... and when they do... they will tear you apart... limb from limb."

"You seem awfully confident in that!" She violently hissed.

"I am." I replied.

Seth's tremors were rolling off him in waves, pushing him closer to phasing, as he hurried to get away from me, knocking into things while he went.

"I am almost certain that you are right, but you should reconsider your position here. After all, misplaced confidence can be devastating, and the truth of the matter is... one bite... and it's over... For both of them. So while the rest of the wolves scatter for reinforcements-"

"What the hell do you want!"

"I want you to come here, Isabella." She calmly stated in reply.

"NO!" I heard Seth shout to me from the kitchen, his voice strained as he tried to fight off the body wracking tremors.

"What purpose do I serve you?" I asked, feeling the ice water run through my veins as she whispered her reply.

"I believe there is an opportunity here... You see... Garrett has grown rather attached to Rachel... he wants her as his mate... and once he changes her, that is exactly what she'll be. But we both know that your Alpha will never agree to that... therefore... creating this conflict."

"Where is Jacob?" I asked, my voice cracking upon the last word.

"He's... handled... for now."

"What does that mean, Kate? What have you done to him?"

"What was necessary to break them apart."

I couldn't help the choked gasp that left me, as the realization of her cold statement flooded through me.

"You're going to change her in front of him... aren't you?" I breathed in horror.

"Very good, Isabella. You have guessed correctly. Now... is it true what they say about the bite of us being so lethal to their kind? I ask only because the silver wolf at my feet right now is still breathing... but barely."

I wanted to puke when I heard the delighted thrill in her tone.

"Paul..." I choked out.

"So the pup who tried to kill us has a name you say? Garrett is chomping at the bit to finish him off..."

"Please don't... You yourself had sisters once... you know what it's like to lose one of your own."

"It is not my choice. I simply do as I'm told. This is Garrett's revenge... I'm going to try and make this as simple as I can for you. Listen to me very carefully... If you wish your family to remain in tact, then you will come to me. I know you don't need directions, Isabella. You have been here many times. Come alone... leave that body guard of yours behind."

"... and If I don't?" I countered.

"Hmm... If you don't come here... or if we see_ even one_ of the other wolves from Jacob's pack emerge from the trees, we'll kill them both and believe me... in the current state their in... it wouldn't take much to do so."

I heard it then... the sound that emerged me into a world of torment... Jacobs distant and anguished scream... it carried over the line to me, and in that moment... I couldn't move. The very sound was enough to knock the breath out of my body.

"You know..." Kate hatefully hissed. "I have to say he isn't too bright for a leader. He ordered the rest of the wolves away himself before we pried Rachel out of his grasp. They left ... all but Paul."

I sucked in a ragged breath, seeing this all play out in my mind as she continued.

"Tell me why one would order the only force he has against us away?"

"...It's not the only force..." I countered.

"They had numbers and we didn't... and still... he ordered them to leave... without him."

"You have his sister... he will_ never_ hand her over to you." I shakily replied.

"I can see this by the fight he's already put forth. As experienced as Garrett is... the fight that ensued was ugly and far from easy for him. He has not left it fully in tact."

"Good." I spewed to her, hate seeping into my voice. "You have no idea the kind of man your holding captive... no idea of the power he will pull forth and unleash on you if you don't free him and his sister."

"I disagree with you... I believe I do know exactly the kind of power we're toying with and Garrett is eager for the challenge. This is why your beloved wolf has been restrained... chained... we know the kind of threat he is. The wolves are solely responsible for slaughtering Aro... the Volturi... the only clan Garrett ever adapted to... fit in with, and he is seeking blood for it."

"Chaining him is your first mistake... And the Volturi were all destroyed for good reason..."

"For you, Isabella ... of course... and the life that steadily grows within you now."

I went mute at her words as I walked out into the kitchen to see Seth still fighting to hold his control, his body covered in sweat as he shook.

"Rachel was hard pressed to tell us of your pregnancy... Garrett is a very persuasive man, though."

"You mean he beat it out of her." I replied, my mind painting a mental picture that made my tears steadily fall.

"Something like that... As you well know... physical acts from our kind are brutal on weak and mortal humans such as her... such as yourself."

I cringed as I held back a strangled cry, my eyes meeting Seth's in horror.

"How can you condone this, Kate? I remember a time when the Cullen's would speak of you as a second family... Carlisle was particularly proud of your clan... you and your sisters... to think they once held you to such standards."

"Shut up." She seethed to me in reply.

"Why? Does it bother you to hear exactly the kind of monster you've become."

"I said shut up, Isabella."

I took heed to her warning as Seth's head snapped up, his gaze fixed on the front door as if he heard the approach of someone or something.

"Come to me, Bella. We have the opportunity to make a deal... and make this right for Garrett. Then... and only then... will your wolf and his sister be free. Am I clear?"

"Tell me why... what do you need from me?"

"Yourself..." She hissed coldly. "You have abilities that Edward talked about in a journal he left for me to discover, in the case that something should happen to him. You are of far more worth as one of us than you will ever be as an ordinary human. Your abilities as a vampire are not only becoming, they are unheard of. Garrett and myself are seeking to rebuild the Italian coven that was destroyed. It will be better... stronger... with time and unstoppable with you in it."

I shook my head as Sam barged in through the front door.

"I no longer want-"

"It is NOT about what you want want, Isabella. It is about what is the best outcome for your Alpha and for his weak and feeble sister. Do you really want their blood on your hands forever?"

"Don't you touch them!" I yelled.

"I won't... but I can assure you that Garrett will kill them both if you don't hurry to me."

Another infuriated scream from Jacob cut through the line, making my heart thrum painfully against my chest. Sam took me by the shoulders, his eyes piercing through mine when I spoke my hated reply to her.

"Go to hell."

Sam snatched the phone as it fell from my hands. He quickly removed the battery from it and sent Seth outside.

"Go... get out of the house before you phase. NOW!"

Seth ran out the front door and I began to quickly unravel.

"They... have th - them ... both... no... all three of them... Paul and Jake... and Rachel."

"What else did she say, Bella?"

"She wants me to go to her..."

Sam's eyes grew black in fury when he heard this.

"They've... chained him... Sam... He's... hurting..."

"That's what they want you to dwell on, Bella. Jacob is tougher than they think and you know this."

"But Garrett is... experienced... I remember Edward telling me about him... years ago."

"I don't give a fuck how experienced he is. He's no match for us. I have every pack member and four of the elders headed there now."

"NO!" I yelled in panic. "She warned me... if she even saw one from the pack come out of the woods, Garrett would kill them... all of them. Kate told me that Paul was still breathing... but barely, Sam."

"They won't see us coming... trust me... I have a plan..." Sam declared.

"What do you need me to do-"

"Just Trust me."

"I do." I replied, seeing him zip up my coat and hand me my boots.

"Your taking me with you." I stated in shock.

He nodded, his lips set in a solid line as he opened the front door. "I have a plan, Bella."

I followed him outside to the border of the trees where Seth was waiting in wolf form. His huffing loud as Sam and I approached.

"We're staying hidden, completely ... out of sight and smell..."

"How?"

"I've got the pack and the elders a few miles out from the old Cullen mansion. The only one getting close is me... and you."

"But if they see you-"

"They won't... You're gonna drive there. Make her think you're giving in to what they want. They won't know how close I am behind you. I know how to stay out of sight better than any of the others. I will be there if she tries anything... I will tear her apart before she even lays a stone finger on you. You have my word."

"I'll have to bait her out... somehow... get her to meet me outside."

Sam nodded, his eyes intently on mine. "You have to make her think you've ultimately given in to her. Can you do that?"

"Yes." I replied, feeling Sam hand me my keys, unaware he had even grabbed them from the house.

"You sure?"

"Sam... you get Jake and Paul and Rachel... the hell out of there. If this goes wr-"

He gripped my shoulders then in reply. "It's not going to, Bella."

"I want you to say it to me, Sam." I demanded, meeting his determined gaze.

"No..."

"Sam... Promise me you'll get them out... even if-"

"Bella... I will leave no one behind... and Jacob would lay his own life out before leaving you at their mercy. I cannot make you that kind of promise. I am not Alpha... he is. If there is a choice between himself and you... you will be the one walking out of that house... understand?"

"No... I come out with him... or not at all."

"Bella!" Sam protested.

"I'm not leaving there without him... I won't. If it's me they want... If I have something they desire so... than this gives me some kind of leverage... I know it's not much... but it might be just enough to save them."

"I have wildly underestimated you, Bella... You rise to every challenge with him."

I offered him a nod of acknowledgment as I turned from them, feeling his hand soon catch my arm to halt me.

"You know what will happen if they threaten you... or harm you ... in front of him... chains will be useless." Sam stated.

"I know... I told that bitch as much... I tried to warn her."

"You have to try your best to avoid this... diffuse any escalating situation the best you can... if Jake embraces that kind of raw power again... His destiny will be sealed this time and it will be permanent. Nothing... not even you... will bring him back to the man he is. He will rule these grounds as Alpha... as a wolf... forever."

I nodded, unable to speak as the lump in my throat choked me from his fierce warning.

"Be careful, Bella. Remember... I will only be a few paces behind you."

I turned from him then, walking to my truck and climbing in. I took a deep breath as I roared its engine to life, seeing the shine of my ring in the dim glow of the faint remaining moonlight... Sarah's ring.

We had come to far to lose it all to this. I wouldn't lose him again... not without fighting like hell first.

I hit the gas and took off toward forks, my speeds hitting close to ninety as I flew down the highway. I didn't care about the many looks of disapproval I got from some of the traffic I passed, or that I was pushing twenty plus miles over the damn speed limit.

I clutched the wheel in a death grip as I entered into the town of Forks. The sign passing me in a blur as I sped along. My head filling with all the ways this could go wrong and all the lengths I would willingly go to if it meant Jake wasn't killed or forced to embrace the power that would take him away from his human life forever.

When I pulled onto the familiar road that lead to the old Cullen house, I was rounding the corners doing twice the warranted speed limit. I crested the hill and was forced to slam on the brakes when an iron hand suddenly sank into the hood of my truck. The jolt, startling me as I met the golden hued gaze of Emmet. His half a grin expression appearing when he released the bent metal of my hood and stepped back to gaze at the damage. I watched him as he opened my door and reached in to hook my seat belt, which hadn't been worn the entire trip.

"That's why your supposed to wear a seat belt, Bella." He stated, securing the belt and meeting my shocked gaze. "Did you really think I would miss out on the action?"

A snarl cut over his chatter and he waved his allegiance to Sam who nodded, meeting my eyes only once, as he bolted back into the surrounding forest.

Emmett quickly shut my door, rapidly retreating to the passenger side of my truck and jumping in before I could even fully blink.

"Let's go kick some Garrett and Kate ass ... shall we?" He asked.

"You're... really here?"

His smile faded when he saw the tears of gratitude well up in my eyes.

"Rachel may be Jake's sister... but you're mine... and we family... stick together when needed." He replied.

"Where's Esme and Rosalie?"

"Close... Close enough..."

"Their coming to help, too?"

"Esme knew that Kate was going off the reigns before... and Carlisle had discussed Garrett's involvement with the Volturi months ago. We never thought it would turn into this, or the three of us would have taken care of it long before now. I am sorry for startling you, though."

I hugged him then, feeling his solid arms take hold of me in a returning embrace.

"Thank you, Emmett... for coming."

"Anytime... Besides... people like Garrett and Kate give us a bad name and we can't have that." He replied, as I released him and headed for his old house.

We were just pulling up behind the black Mercedes in the large driveway when Emmett scoffed at the Vehicle.

"A Benz? Please..." He chuckled, opening my door for me and offering me his hand. "Come on Bella. Let's go set some shit straight."

I walked to the door with him, hand in hand, seeing the house lit up as we approached it. Emmett's calm demeanor, no doubt helping my own nerves to fade some.

We had barely graced the bottom step when a tiny blonde opened the front door, clear alarm evident on her heavily made up face.

"Emmett?" She asked, looking thoroughly over the two of us. Her intense gaze immediately scanning the surrounding trees.

"We're alone, Kate... Now cut the shit and let us in." Emmett demanded, lacing our fingers together as he glared at her.

She stepped out onto the porch, her face twisting in disgust as she glanced at our hands. "Does Rosalie know of your closeness with another woman?" She laughed. "I have to say it comes to me as a surprise... given the situation... She did leave Edward for another... not just any other, but for his sworn enemy no less and here you are escorting her as if she were still part of your coven."

"She is." He firmly stated. "Carlisle believed in the unity of friendship and family. And we want to honor his memory by carrying on this belief of his. Despite all he did... he was a decent and noble person before."

"Well, might I remind you that Carlisle isn't here."

"No reminder needed and certainly not from the likes of you. If your sisters saw-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK OF THEM!" Kate hissed, speedily advancing on us. Emmett was fast to place me behind him, my head whirling from the speedy actions between them now.

"I'll speak of whomever I damn well please. In case you forgot... this was Cullen territory first, Kate. Need I remind you that you're a mere guest on these grounds? Do I need to remove you with force?"

"You wouldn't dare." She vehemently hissed in reply to him.

"Try me."

They went silent and my eyes wandered to the many lit windows, searching for any movement from within that would tell me where Jake could be... or Rachel... Paul... any of them.

"I told you not to bring anyone with you." Kate then hissed my way.

"NO... you told me to leave my bodyguard behind and I did as you asked. I came here without their protection."

"Do you often bend the rules for your own advantage?" She asked.

"When you threaten her husband ... I think that warrants a little rule bending?" Emmett sharply hissed back to her in reply. "I came here on my own... without giving her notice. I don't need permission to walk the grounds I lived on ... understood?"

"What is your point in coming here?"

"I want you and Garrett gone, Kate. You're not welcome here." Emmett stated.

"Says who?" She challenged.

"Says me..." A distant voice then cried out, as a small figure stepped out from the dense tree cover.

"Esme Cullen." Kate hissed in shock.

"What my son says is true, Kate. This is Cullen territory. You and Garrett are no longer welcome here. I will only ask you once to leave and then..."

"Then what?" Kate snapped to her in challenge as she approached us.

"Then force will be used."

"Why Esme... Where has your hospitality gone?"

Esme reached out and touched a lock of my hair, her grin truly breathtaking when she met my worried gaze before replying to Kate's rude remark.

"It died with my husband. Now... get the hell out!" Esme snapped.

Without warning, Garrett then appeared on the steps, his wild eyes assessing the situation.

"Well...Well... Well... what have we hear?" He asked. "I had no idea we would be having so much company this early in the morning. We should have prepared better."

"Garrett..." Esme sighed. "I have asked Kate to leave and I will ask you to do the same."

Garrett shook his head in protest. "No can do, dear Esme. You see... We have business to attend to shortly in this very house and I will not have the likes of you showing up and further derailing things. As we speak... Dear Rachel black is breathing her last... "

I lurched forward, my hand staying in Emmett's.

"You monster!" I screamed. "What did you do."

"She belongs to me, just as you will soon."

"You will not touch her, Garrett." Esme hissed in reply.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Why is your alliance with the enemy, Esme? Surely... Carlisle taught you better than that."

"Carlisle taught me everything... and I assure you.. Bella and Jacob and his sister... the wolves of La'Push land are no enemies of ours. I have fought beside them and I would do it again."

"You fought with them!" Garrett seethed, getting close to her. "You... you were part of that massacre!"

"Aro got exactly what he deserved. The Volturi were vile creatures-"

Garrett grabbed Esme by the throat, silencing her as he threw her to the ground. Emmett was swift to take hold of Kate then, placing her in a vulnerable choke hold.

"Garrett!" He warned. "One more move and I'll snap her head from her body. I would love to do nothing more."

Garrett's face contorted in anger as she hauled Esme to her feet, moving away from her and waiting for Emmett to release Kate to him. He soon shoved her his way with a sly expression.

"Give us back the house and all in it and move on!" Esme hissed, her tone lethal.

"I don't take demands from a woman!" Garrett mockingly laughed. "No matter who they are."

"You should listen to her." Emmet hissed. "Wouldn't want things to get ugly."

"Oh, I assure you... things have already become very ugly." Garrett seethed. "The basement of this house looks like a butcher shop... it runs red with my vengeance and I can guarantee you it is not the blood of an animal that stains the walls. We like to feast on something a little more fresh around here."

"Release them... NOW!" Emmett demanded.

"I see this as an opportunity in the making?" Kate suddenly added as the tension grew.

"And what kind of opportunity is that?" Esme sarcastically hedged.

"The opportunity of growth and allegiance, of course. Kate and I want to form a new coven... to expand things where Aro left them in Italy... A rebuild of sorts. Won't you join us?"

"Is this some kind of fucking joke?" Emmet spit to her.

"Not at all." Garrett replied. "I am very serious. As it turns out I already have my first unofficial member in the basement. She will make me a lovely and obedient mate and if dear Isabella here would like to be part of our-"

"When hell freezes." Emmet angrily hissed. "She belongs to someone already... She is Jacob's imprint. You know... the wolf you've got chained in the basement!"

"Yes, I've heard this to be the case, but I am certain that after the last beating I put him through-"

I couldn't stop the desperate gasp that left me, as Esme hissed while she peered toward the house. "Carlisle would truly be ashamed if he could see you now."

"Ah, but he can't, can he..." Kate taunted.

"Emmett... Say... where is your rather beautiful blonde mate? Is Rosalie not with you?" Garrett soon asked.

"She stayed behind. There was no need for her here." Esme interjected in reply.

"I'd say there is no need for you here either, but since you've already made the long journey..." Kate mockingly stated.

A loud crash then suddenly came from inside the house, causing every head to turn.

Garrett's eyes became crazed as he glared at Esme. "THIS ALL WAS A DIVERSION!" He screamed, flying up over the steps with great speed. Emmett glanced down at me with a crooked grin that told me all I needed to know.

One by one the wolves began to descend from the tree line as Esme and Emmett captured Kate.

"Garrett!" She screamed, as Sam stalked toward her.

"We tried to warn you..." Emmet hissed.

"But you wouldn't listen..." Esme added, as they simultaneously snapped her concrete arms from her tiny body. She fell to the ground and Sam viciously attacked her, tearing her to shreds before us.

The roars from the others were loud as Garrett was heaved out the sliding glass door with such force that the wood from the deck splintered with his hard landing.

"You BITCH!" He raged, as a beautiful blonde I knew well, stepped forward with remarkable poise and grace, even as the anger poured from her every twitch. Emmett rushed to her aid, fighting Garrett off as he tried to attack Rosalie. Emmet landed blow after blow to him, but Garrett soon had the upper hand, making the snarls from behind me grow louder. They fought until Rosalie helped to pin Garrett down and Emmett was able to land another good blow, separating one of his stone hands from his body.

He screamed in fury and fell down to the snowy ground as Sam roared in front of him. We watched as Garret got to his feet and challenged Sam.

"Come on you mutt!" He hissed, trying to kick Sam as Leah charged him and ripped off his left shoulder.

There was a sudden deafening and ferocious roar that came from the porch and all prior movement ceased as every wolf sunk down immediately in submission. I saw him then... in wolf form... his thick russet fur bloody, as he stood protectively over Rachel's limp body that laid on the cold porch beneath him. I felt my breath nearly stop when I saw Paul soon limp out in wolf form and lay down next to her, his muzzle nudging into her long black locks.

He was alive... Paul had made it...

Esme was the first the speak... "No... What have you done!" She yelled to Garrett, who began to laugh hysterically as he looked to her.

"I win..." He coldly spat. "Even if you destroy me now... I get what I wanted all along... to make that mutt pay for what he did! She's dead!"

I ran toward them without thought, ignoring all else as I clambered up over the broken steps and frantically felt her for a pulse.

She was cold... lifeless.

"No... No... No..." I cried, trying to warm her with my hands. My eyes wandering over the many bloody bite marks along her neck and arms. Her long hair matted in the sticky crimson residue. I felt Jacob nudge into me with his muzzle, slowly trying to move me away from her.

"Bella..." Esme cautioned... "Back away from her."

Rosalie knelt down beside me then, her golden eyes as solemn as I'd ever seen. "She's gone... for now..."

Garrett began to laugh again, the sound manic as he stood, swinging his one remaining arm.

"I WIN! I CHANGED HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! ISN'T THAT RIGHT PUP!"

The loud roar from Jacob was followed by several more from the pack as they seethed over Rachel's death. "Now... she'll come back and the two of you will be enemies... she'll hate you... and you'll loath her for what she is-"

His words were abruptly cut off when Sam and Seth attacked him, ripping him mercilessly apart so that only small and shredded pieces of him remained.

I watched as Rosalie piled the many pieces of Garrett and Kate into a fiery purple heap in the middle of the yard. The smoke raising high into the morning sky now as I stood on shaky legs from the porch, seeing Jacob lay down and curl his wolf form around Rachel, as he let out an agonizing howl that ripped apart the dawns dimly lit sky. The heartbreak in his howl, settling over every member of the pack and the deep sorrow of it reaching into the very depths of my own soul.


	92. Chapter 94

**A/N: Okay guys... Time for another chapter update! I know a lot of you were pulling for Rachel to make it, but hold onto hope for a new beginning for her. :) I have loved reading your reviews and feedback on these last few chapters and I hope you enjoy this one as well. Thank you to everyone who continues to follow this story! As always... HAPPY READING! xoxo **

**CHAPTER NINETY - FOUR**

**Happiness should be a four letter word...  
**

**(JPOV)**

I had tried to protect her... tried to save her... and when the fight began, I had every intention of removing her from that house, burning the fucking place to the ground, and never looking back. But that intention was savagely ripped from me... the same way Rachel had been.

I had known what I was up against and when the tremors tried to claim me as Garrett began to fight Paul to the death, I embraced them. Rachel was terrified when I sat her down and told her to back up. I knew my phase was imminent and I wanted her far enough away from me so she wouldn't be harmed in the process of it.

"Stay Back, Rach." I warned, as I phased in that basement, landing on all fours and seeing the wide eyed panic that was etched in my sisters face while she backed herself into a dark corner.

I huffed, meeting her gaze and watched her eyes slowly soften when I took a step toward her.

"Jake..." She whispered in disbelief, reaching her hand out to touch the thick fur around my muzzle. I lowered my head to her, showing her without words that she didn't have to be afraid.

She took another timid step toward me, so her body was soon huddled into me, cutting some of the chill that had settled into her bones.

"You're... really in there..." She sighed to me, as another crash came from the main floor.

I huffed, feeling her hands in my fur as she marveled at my size.

"This may be what you are now... But to me... you're still Jake."

Those were the last words she whispered to me before Paul was thrown to the bottom of the basement stairs. I watched him as he struggled to get up, trying to regain his stance. Rachel gasped while Paul whined profusely with the effort. His head full of profanity for the leeches upstairs.

"He's part of you... part of what you are... isn't he?" Rachel whispered, moving herself out around me with peeked curiosity. I simply huffed as she approached him. Her courage leaving me awe struck, as she knelt down beside Paul. I heard his thoughts cease when he raised his head to see her, stopping all struggle when her hand ran through his dark silver fur. Her simple touch, leaving him instantly settled ... Like an unknown antidote to him... his own personal cure to life itself.

I felt it then... the solid shift of gravity... the visions that bombarded Paul's thoughts... the powerful force of predestined change that left him utterly captivated with her... his very earth shifting to revolve around this one person... their hearts coming to beat as one...

I took a step towards them, seeing Rachel run her hands further through his thick silver fur and witnessing the breath in Paul's wolf form now come to match her own. He couldn't pry his wolf gaze from her and Rachel was oblivious to the force that now tied them together... Forever.

She simply smiled at him while he nuzzled the angry gash above her left cheek. His whine of contentment soft, as she leaned into him.

I could hardly move as he met my wolf gaze, seeing his eyes soon become remorseful... like he felt guilt... a guilt he could not truthfully own.

Rachel was his imprint...

My sister was now bound to one of my own...

The moment was short lived as the sound of more fighting surrounded me, ripping me away from my thoughts. Paul managed to get up, his gaze meeting mine again when the sound of violent whining echoed down to us.

They would kill whoever they got their concrete hands on... members of my pack would not survive this. Paul circled slowly around Rachel, and settled himself close to her, as she shivered.

"All the stories that dad told us when were just kids... they were true, weren't they?" She asked.

I nodded once, seeing Paul lick at her wrists, where the skin was rubbed raw from apparent rope burn and struggle. She didn't flinch away from him, she only stilled and watched him as he curled himself around her, acting like a blanket for her to wrap up in.

Those had been her last safe moments...

The fight on the main floor of the house then grew deadly and I knew I would end up losing a wolf of my own if I didn't help them. I savagely tore my way up to the main floor, taking Garrett head on myself when I saw him try to sink his venom drenched fangs into Leah. I had him pinned when I saw Kate towering over Leah, her threat to me loud and clear.

"I'll kill the bitch if you place one scratch on him." She hissed.

I roared furiously at her, seeing her begin to crush Leah, her head full of her pained scream as I backed away from Garrett, knowing we were not strong enough to take them on without the rest of the pack. I met Leah's fiery gaze as Kate stood.

"You know you can't fight us off without losing at least one of your own! Are you willing to take that chance?!" She hissed.

I heard Leah's biting tone cut into my thoughts next.

"_Don't you do it, Jake!"_ She huffed._ "We have a chance. We could take them!"_

_"No we can't."_

_"Jake!"_

_"GO...NOW ... ALL OF YOU."_ I commanded, seeing them each struggle against the heavy weight of my authority.

I thought of Paul who remained in the basement with Rachel and couldn't bring myself to order him back to the reservation... I would need him... and he would need her. It was best for Rachel's safety that he stayed. Garrett had tossed him aside, thinking he was as good as dead when he hit the cement basement floor, but he was unaware of the way we healed. They would naively assume he was dead down there with Rachel and I counted on them to continue this line of thought.

I watched as the last wolf sauntered down over the porch steps and ran for the woods, my eyes following their run intently till they reached the trees.

Kate sat down on the couch, perching herself there like she were attending brunch with the ladies from a recent book club.

"Now ... we have business to attend to, don't we?" She asked me, as Garrett walked the living room floor.

"Indeed we do, Jacob..." He added. "Care to make your human presence known before us? I don't speak dog."

I kept my gaze on them, seeing the glint of amusement in their demonic stare.

"We could, of course, allow you a moment or two of privacy to gather yourself? I'm sure there's some kind of process you mutts go through to get back on two legs." Kate mockingly stated.

"He doesn't trust us enough to phase back to human form..." Garrett bit back.

"Pitty..."

Despite the roar that left me, I soon reigned in the hatred for them, just long enough to feel the heat recede from me as my thick russet fur was hastily replaced with skin.

I stood there in front of them, seeing Kate's eyes wander in lustful fashion over my naked body. I normally wouldn't have been so rude, but in their presence, I didn't give a flying fuck how indecent I was. I watched her lick her red heavily painted lips as her eyes met mine.

"Isabella is a lucky woman." She boldly stated. "Am I to presume all of you appear like this ... naked... So... cut... and... firm?"

"Don't speak of her." I coldly spat back.

"Kate, get ahold of yourself... really." Garrett fumed, stepping up to me. "Don't you know the rule about common decency and how to show it?"

"When I find someone respectable enough to show it to - I will." I harshly bit back.

"Enough..." Kate interjected. "He may be as indecent as he so chooses... as long as we get what it is that we came here for... forcefully... if required."

I kept my gaze on them as they paced in front of me, making their case.

"I have known Rachel for months... before you took my family away... massacred them."

"Destroyed them... I destroyed them" I firmly corrected him. "A massacre implies the killing of many innocent people... and your kind are far from fucking innocent... they coldly took the lives of thousands."

"ARO WAS MY LEADER! A NOBLE MAN!" Garrett seethed back, as he threw his iron fist into the glass table in the living room, shattering it.

"He was a monster... JUST LIKE YOU!" I shouted.

"GARRETT!" Kate shrieked. "This kind of interaction will accomplish nothing. The Volturi are dead and that's unfortunate, but we can rebuild."

My gaze immediately went to her upon hearing her hissed words.

"Rebuild?"

"Why yes. That is our plan, Jacob. To reconstruct what your kind so brutally ruined."

I saw the sick glint in Garrett's eyes and my tremors took hold of me as I glared at them.

"We seek to acquire many... with our recruit beginning right here."

"Never." I spat in reply.

"Rachel will-"

"SHE IS NOT YOURS!" I yelled.

"Yet..." Kate hissed.

"NOT EVER!"

"Do you know the real Rachel?" Garrett suddenly questioned, getting closer to me.

I watched him closely, as he withdrew a loaded syringe from his pants pocket and tossed it my way. I caught it, never taking my gaze from him as he continued.

"You see, Jacob. The Rachel you grew up with, and the battered woman in the basement, are two entirely different people... like night and day."

I clutched the syringe tightly in my hand, hearing his amused tone as he addressed Kate.

"Should we tell the lad?"

"I believe we shall." Kate hissed.

Garrett took a long stride my way, his face mere inches from mine with his hiss.

"Haven't you heard? Your sister is a junkie... A filthy street who-"

My fist connected with his granite face before he could finish, the force splitting my knuckles wide open and the blood pouring from them as I charged for him. He struck me back with enough force to send me hurdling through an emptied out book case. I landed on all fours, the feel of his cold touch initiating my phase almost immediately. I roared and watched him as he came at me. My teeth barred as he ran.

I caught his fist in my mouth, viciously tearing half his hand off and hearing him scream when I spit it out onto the floor. Kate's eyes were wide with fear, as I snarled and backed up, egging him on. I wanted him destroyed.

"Garrett!" Kate snapped. "Stop."

He clutched his hand and yelled in agony. "I'm gonna strip the skin from your bones you fucking mutt!"

I roared to him, accepting his challenge and feeling the pull of the beast slowly sink into my veins. I fought against the heavy pull, knowing what could happen if it's raw authority seeped in too far.

Despite Kate's hissed warning, Garrett came at me and I tore into his right shoulder, throwing him to the ground and feeling his powerful hit as he struck me in the ribs. I heard them crack and shook my head back and forth, sawing his shoulder and removing a large chunk of granite flesh there. He screamed and punched me in the face, knocking me backwards. The force of it enough to cause my vision to blur as I rolled and got back up.

"All this can end ..." He yelled. "Let me have Rachel... you don't need a user like that around your precious Bella and your soon to be infant child!"

I charged for him, plowing into him and hearing Kate scream as we barreled through the already splintered glass table. The shards of glass, slicing through my back and giving Garrett the upper hand, as the many shards sunk in through me.

I phased back to human form from the pain, feeling the blood run down my back, as I stood and removed a large shard from my shoulder.

Kate's gaze roamed over me with fevered lust. Her eyes near bulging, as she licked her lips with desire prominently etched on her face.

"Divine..." She hissed, while Garrett stumbled to his feet. "What Garrett said is true."

"Fuck you!" I spat, ripping out another piece of glass from my thigh, and seeing the river of red run down my leg in plentiful supply.

"You're mouth watering..."

I didn't even deem her comment with a reply, seeing her eyes now focused on a point far south of my waist. Her attention to this detail of my anatomy, making my fucking skin crawl, and only further enraging Garrett.

"Kate! Go get Rachel!"

"No!" I yelled.

"Now!" Garrett countered.

Kate flew down over the basement steps and I heard the mighty roar that soon followed from Paul. He would tear her apart before letting her touch Rachel and with any damn luck, he would succeed.

The loud roaring from Paul came closer and closer and I knew what was next.

Kate had Rachel by the throat as she drug her up over the stairs, and Paul was frothing at the muzzle as he charged after them. The sight of her being manhandled, making my tremors rock through me. I phased back and came at Kate. She whipped Rachel around, holding her as a barrier between us.

"I thought you killed that filthy mutt!" Garrett hissed.

"As did I!" Kate replied in panic.

Paul was raging pissed as Garrett grabbed hold of Rachel, hauling her forcefully toward him while she screamed. I roared furiously as Paul sunk down, his teeth bared and his ears laid back, ready to go in for the kill.

Garrett toyed with him, purposefully keeping Rachel in front of him and using her as a human shield to keep Paul and I away.

Kate, in her sick humor, found this so amusing that she began to laugh. The sound alone, shrilling. I lunged for her as she threw her head back in laughter, grabbing hold of her by the shoulder and hearing her high pitched scream echo through the house, as I drug her across the floor.

"RELEASE HER NOW!" Garrett hissed, showing his fangs and throwing Rachel down to the cold floor. She scrambled over to Paul, placing herself behind him as he stood up in full height with a menacing snarl. His wolf form shaking from undiluted rage.

His thoughts were loud and volatile as they linked with my own.

_"I'm gonna kill the bastard_!" Paul screamed, as Rachel took safe harbor behind him. Her eyes wide as she watched me rip into Kate's shoulder. Her screams ear piercing as they filled the old Cullen lair.

I heard the unmistakable click of a loaded gun, and whipped my head toward Garret in time to see him cock the small revolver in his stone hand and point it toward Paul. I felt the heat pour over me as he met my gaze. The beast within raging to get out. I let out another feral roar as I backed away from Kate, seeing her crawl toward Garrett like a helpless child.

"Don't think I won't do it..." He hissed my way.

Rachel then threw herself in front of Paul, causing me to instinctively lurch forward.

"NO! DON'T! PLEASE!" She screamed in plea to him. "Let them go... it's me you want... it's me you desire to join you. Spare them... You don't need to do this."

I felt choked as the heat seared through me, causing me to bow down close to the floor as it tried to claim me. The flames within from the beast, now trying to rip me apart from the inside out. I fought against it, seeing a clear picture of Bella's face as I roared and huffed profusely, trying to keep the beast at bay.

The sound of the gun firing rang out around me as Paul fell to the floor.

"NO!" Rachel screamed sinking down to the floor with him.

I saw Garrett then whip the gun in my direction as I raised my head to him. His eyes a blood thirsty red with a sick smile on his demented face.

"DON'T!" Rachel screamed, running to me as Paul collapsed fully.

She threw herself down in front of me as I snarled.

"He's my brother!" She begged him with tears streaming down her face. I shook with rage, feeling the beast claw his way out as he fervently tried to consume me. The words of my father rang clearly through my head as I soon began to buckle under it's weight...

"Son... Don't you ever tame your demons... but always keep them on a leash..."

I heard Garrett cock the gun again as I rose from the heavy weight of submission. Rachel clung to me, her shaking body now wrapped around my front leg.

"I know what you're fighting... " She whispered to me. "I remember the stories dad told... Don't lose yourself for me, Jacob... don't let that power swallow you. You have too much to lose."

I felt her bury her face into my neck as she shakily stood and faced Garrett. Her next words spoken through her tears.

"Garrett... please spare my brother... he has done nothing wrong-"

"NOTHING WRONG!" He raged back, the gun shaking in his hands. "Jacob is responsible for the killing of my only clan... erasing the only group where I belonged!"

"He did what he had to!" She replied, backing her small frame closer to me. "He defended our land... our people... his people... If placed in the same situation... you yourself would do the exact same thing!"

"Wrong..." He coldly stated and pulled the trigger. I felt the bullet hit my left shoulder, as I lunged for him. I savagely tore into his other shoulder, ripping another chunk of granite flesh, before I heard another gunshot ring out loudly through the house. Pain rocked through my hind leg, causing my stance to falter and for Garrett to get the upper hand. He kicked me twice in the ribs, the force of his hit, enough to knock the wind out of me. I struggled through the pain to get back up as he landed another blow, causing me to phase back to human form from the pain. My body bloody as I saw Garrett grab Rachel by her hair and force her away from me.

"JACOB!" She screamed, desperately clinging to me, her hands covered in my blood as she tried to help me up.

Garrett savagely ripped her away from me, kicking and screaming as he forced her down the basement stairs. Her screams filling me with a fury I could not act on.

I had been in this kind of hell before... trapped in my own fucking skin, only this time, I remained on two legs. I struggled to pull myself up, seeing Paul lay limp at the opposite end of the house. I stumbled down the basement stairs, leaving a rustic crimson trail behind me as I went.

I had to get to her...

I felt the fury wash over me anew the moment my feet met the cold cement floor of the basement. The sight before me enough to make me scream... and I did.

"NO!"

Garrett had Rachel on her knees, holding her by her hair and hauling her swiftly to her feet.

"Say it..." He then demanded, as he tear filled eyes met mine. "SAY IT!"

She shook her head in protest to his demand, her bold move of defiance only proving to further enrage him.

"Tell him what I have commanded you to say... NOW! Tell him you'll hate him the moment your new eyes open... that the two of you will tear each other apart!"

She remained silent, her tears falling as he held her there. In that moment, a million memories ran through my mind from our childhood as her gaze stayed fixed on mine. Her look determined and bold, despite her endless tears. It was a look I had seen before... a look she wore often after mom had died. Her courage back then when I was a mere child used to amaze me, and in this moment, her unique bravery still did.

I felt the searing pain hit my system as a wave of tremors rocked through me. I didn't fight them... I wanted it... needed it. I longed to rip his fucking throat out.

"Jacob..." Rachel whispered as my body shook, causing my head to throb and my knees to buckle.

I could hardly breathe when I heard her whisper my name again... "Jake..."

I lifted my head, to meet her gaze once more, seeing her mouth the words that I hadn't heard her say since our last phone call... months ago.

"Rach..."

"I love you... Always."

I tried to get up... again and again. Shouting to Garrett as I watched him sink his teeth into her neck. She didn't fight him as he fed on her like the demon that he was.

I screamed for so long that my throat felt as if I had swallowed knives.

When Garrett was done with her, he let her body fall to the floor, her blood pooling around her. I became numb, my eyes glued to her limp form before me. I felt the chains secure around my wrists and ankles and didn't even have enough feeling left in me to struggle against them.

Kate secured the last chain and hissed her threat into my ear.

"When she awakens... She will see you... and you will hate her and she will hate you. Now you'll know what it feels like to lose one of your own. The same way Garrett has suffered... you shall suffer."

I didn't even acknowledge her as I moved toward Rachel, feeling the chain pull in resistance. Kate laughed in mocking fashion as I pulled on them.

"Strong Alpha like you isn't used to being contained... are they?"

I didn't reply to her, I was too fucking numb to say or feel anything.

This angered her further as she walked toward Rachel, soon kneeling down and stroking her hair.

"Don't touch her." I yelled, further pulling on my chains.

"Or what!" She hissed, scooping her up and taking her toward the stairs.

"Leave her with me." I replied to her in a hallow tone.

She paused and turned back, her eyes glowing with amusement as she laid her down on the floor next to me. "You want her next to you when she wakes up a blood hungry newborn? With uncontrollable thirst and a hatred for you?"

"Yes." I distantly replied.

She stood with bitter laughter as she flew up the stairs. "Have it your way, mutt."

I heard her slam the basement door shut as my eyes fell upon Rachel. Her body laying perfectly still. I watched her closely, thinking that if I stared at her long enough, I could somehow will her chest to rise and fall again with life, but the longer I watched her, the more I saw the paleness creep into her body. I drew her into my arms, as a hollow ache struck me in the chest, feeling the agony tear its way through me as I buried my face in her hair and held her close to me. I fought the raw emotion until the intensity of it threatened to strangle me, as a heartache I hadn't felt since my mother died, engulfed me.

My eyes roamed over the many cuts and bruises that marked her body, thinking of all the ways Garrett and Kate had harmed her and imagining all the pain she had endured. My eyes soon caught sight of the many track marks on her forearms, the sight of them ugly, and offering me the vivid proof of all the times she had been jacking up in California. She had been suffering long before Garrett took her to this house. She had been living in her own personal hell for months and I should've known... should've gone to California myself and checked on her sooner.

I sat there with her as the time ticked by, unaware of anything but the weight of her in my arms ... the solid ache in my chest... and the raw anger that rose within me every time I heard the footsteps coming from the demonic red eyed fucks on the main floor. The pain in my body had long since subsided, giving me the ability to properly phase again, but still, I couldn't take my eyes from her or leave her here alone.

This was never what I wanted for her... Never what her future should of held. She was meant for greater things.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Rach." I sobbed into her hair, thinking of the many times she had read me to sleep as a child after mom had passed, and reflecting upon the dozens of times she would pull moms recipe books out and cook something familiar of hers... something that would bring a smile to our faces when she served it for dinner. Rachel had always been selfless, and loving... full of life... so much like mom. Dad used to say that she reminded him of her the most and it would make Rachel smile wide with pride.

Where the hell had it all gone so wrong? How did we get here?

The time continued to pass and the chains remained as I sat there with her. My throat raw from screaming and my eyes blurred from sobbing. I soon heard the many frantic hisses come suddenly from the main floor and I knew that Sam and the others were closing in, causing a sense of panic for the cold monsters above me.

Good... I wanted them to burn for this and I wanted to be the one who watched it... the one who lit that fucking match.

I heard scattering footsteps from above me and I waited for the fighting to begin, knowing that Sam and the others would rip them to fucking shreds.

I closed my eyes and thought of my father... of how this would rip a new hole in his soul when he learned of Rachel's fate.

The familiar heat started at the base of my spine and spread through my limbs with urgency as I heard the loud roars coming from outside.

They were here... My pack

I laid Rachel down carefully as I sucked in a sharp breath and pulled on the chains Kate had wasted her time with. I hauled them out of the cold cement floor, shattering the links that held me there, as the fire wove itself rapidly around my very being. I gathered Rachel in my arms, seeing the lifelessness of her, and wishing she would look up at me with that smile of hers... just one more time... one last time before the sister that was one of my best friends became a stranger to me... an enemy banned from my own land.

The sound of a familiar voice then surrounded me as I held onto my sister.

"We're too late... aren't we?"

I turned back to see Rosalie Cullen standing there behind us, her golden eyes filling with genuine sorrow as her gaze fell on Rachel in my arms.

I only acknowledged her with only a nod as she stepped closer to us, her hands reaching out for her. I let out an instinctual snarl and moved away from her, seeing her halt her advance with a remorseful expression.

"I truly mean her no further harm... I only wish to help you if I can."

I didn't move this time as she approached, brushing her pale fingertips over the wounds on Rachel's body. Rosalie's hands grew shaky as she brushed the bite marks in her neck.

"You... saw... all of it... didn't you?" She asked me in a whisper.

I didn't meet her gaze or make a sound in reply as the heat surged through me anew from the memory of what that soulless monster had done to my sister.

"She's still your sister, Jacob." She offered. "When she turns... red eyes or the brown you've known... she is still your family. Get her out of here... I will take care of Garrett."

I felt her cold hand touch my shoulder before she flew up the stairs, her words sinking into me with heavy weight.

My sister would never be warm again... never be the Rachel I had known... How could we even coexist?

I clutched her body close to mine as I made my way through the bloody house, seeing Paul now struggle to move when he saw me emerge from the basement with Rachel. He let out a roar as he rose and lunged for Garrett who had pinned Rosalie down beneath him in his rage to get to me.

"You're not taking her with you!" He violently hissed. "She belongs to-"

His sentence was cut short when Paul bit down on his granite leg. He screamed and struck Paul only once before Rosalie had him by the throat, heaving him across the room and out the sliding glass door. I heard the glass shatter and the wood splinter on the porch with his forceful landing, as I carried my sister out, laying her body down before me as my tremors took fierce hold.

She was gone...

She was never gonna be human again...

Never have children...

Never be able to embrace me like she used to...

I phased while the unforgiving agony ripped through me, causing a feral roar to leave my muzzle, as I heard Garrett challenge Sam and the pack.

I heard her before I saw her... heard her frantic heartbeat and the panic in her voice... Bella.

"No... No... No." She cried, stumbling up over the broken steps and dropping to her knees there before Rachel. She touched her then, trying to feel for any signs of life. I saw the tears roll down her cheeks as she cradled my sisters face. I knew she was desperate to bring her back, but I didn't want her anywhere near her. She was changing into something I loathed ... an enemy I craved to tear apart like I craved the very next breath I took. I nudged Bella away from her, instinctively needing to put distance between the impending threat and my imprint... my unborn child. Bella met my gaze with hurt and confusion in her eyes as I continued to nudge her further away.

"Bella... get away from her." Esme cautioned.

I felt utterly numb when I heard Garrett's volatile hiss echo out around us.

"I WIN! I CHANGED HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PUP?!"

His voice was triumphantly cold and bitter as he basked in his twisted victory. I felt Paul nudge into me as he laid himself down close to Rachel. His head full of such sorrow that I found the weight of it hard to bare. My head lowered as I heard the tearing of granite limbs and soon saw the familiar purple choking smoke that filled the morning sky with the disintegrating pieces of demon flesh. I felt shattered as I met Sam's wolf gaze. His thoughts in mourning with my own when I sunk down next to Rachel on the snow covered porch, curling around her in a way that was meant to shield her from the cold... as if she would somehow need that from me anymore. I let out an ear splitting howl, filling the sky with the agony that now smothered me.

_"We'll stay right here... till she-..."_ Sam paused, as Leah harshly cut in.

_"We can't bring her back to La'Push land... She'll have no control... you know the way their kind is at first... newborn vampires can't be tamed, Jacob."_

_"Hush, Leah!"_ Seth barked._ "We can't just leave her here... she is still one of us-"_

_"No she isn't!"_ Leah snarled back._ "If we bring her back, she could try to mutilate half the damn Reservation!"_

_"LEAH!"_ Sam huffed. _"This isn't the time!"_

_"When is the time!?"_ She bit back.

_"It's not your call, damn it!"_ Brady roared.

_"Neither is it yours!"_ Seth added in sharp reply to him.

"_We're not abandoning her here. She belongs back on the Res."_ Sam huffed.

_"With our families? Our innocent families?"_ Leah angrily challenged.

_"Rachel is Family!"_ Sam roared, nudging roughly into her.

I could feel it... my head pounding... and my thoughts unraveling as they all fought on how to best take care of Rachel.

_"What are you thinking Sam? You can't seriously suggest that we carry her back to the Reservation... it's too fucking risky."_ Leah continued.

_"Where the hell is your sense of damn loyalty anyway?"_ Jared added with a snarl. "_Shouldn't be so easy for you to turn your back on one of your own!"_

_"Yeah Leah... what if the roles were switched here... huh? What if it were Seth in Jacob's shoes right now?-"_ Quil countered.

_"I'd want Seth to destroy me the minute I opened my blood thirsty eyes!"_ She screamed, before darting off into the woods.

"_She's wrong... we can't ju-"_ Sam began.

"_ENOUGH!"_ I yelled, raising my head to see all of them cower down at my tone._ "IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE... IT'S NOT ANY OF YOURS... IT'S MINE."_

I felt the breath leave my lungs with my powerful command and I struggled to draw the air back into them, as the heavy and unyielding weight of grief shrouded in around me.

I wanted to scream...

I wanted to go back in fucking time and find her sooner...

How would I tell my father that one of his own had been changed into what he despised?

It went against everything I knew to let her come back to the Reservation with us, but I couldn't leave her here... alone.

"Jacob..." Esme whispered from beside me a short time later. "We can take her in... let her stay here... with us. We'll watch over her... help her to adapt to this kind of living."

I couldn't even wrap my head around the concept. My own sister... living with the Cullen's... Being part of them.

I huffed and watched the other members of the pack lay down directly beneath the porch, their grief resembling my own for Rachel.

"We can talk more about this later... when your back on two legs and I can effectively communicate with you?" Esme soon offered as she stood and hugged Bella, offering her heart felt condolences. "I'm so sorry. To all of you."

I knew that what Esme offered was the only way for me to stay close with her. I couldn't risk taking her back on La' Push land... not without causing a violent uproar with the elders and the council. They would never even consider allowing her to reside there now.

I rose up from my laying position with her and phased back, scooping her cold body up in my arms and carrying her back inside the hell house I had just tried to rescue her from. Paul was swift to follow me, his human form moving as slow as I'd ever seen. He looked as empty as I felt.

Emmett, Rosalie and Esme were fast behind us, their golden eyes wide with the anticipation of my next move.

"You'll... keep... her here?" I asked, my tone barely audible as I spoke.

"Yes, Jacob." Esme softly replied, reaching out for Rachel and seeing me pull away when her cool fingers grazed my arm. Her look was apologetic when she tried again. "I know you don't want to do this... to give her over to us... but... I give you my word, as someone who has fought with you before, I will look after her as one of my own."

I didn't move and I was almost certain that I couldn't fucking move even if I tried. My mind shut down and my limbs felt heavy as Esme continued.

"You don't have to leave, Jacob. You can stay right her... with her... all of you can if you'd like." She offered, glancing out toward the pack who remained on the porch with watchful gazes. "Paul... you're welcome to remain inside too, of course."

I wasn't sure if he replied, or even nodded to her. I was too fucking numb to take notice of anything but Rachel in my arms.

Rosalie appeared in front of me then with a blanket, her arms outstretched like she expected me to just hand her over to her... Like I was supposed to let her take her away from me... not knowing when or if I would ever be able to be in the very same room with her. I shook with the effort to even try as I took a step toward Rosalie. Emmett's eyes watchful of me, as if I were a ticking time bomb that was ready to explode at any moment. I couldn't blame him for his penetrating gaze, I truly felt like I was a breath away from losing my shit. I reluctantly placed Rachel in Rosalie's awaiting arms and watched them all as they rushed her into the guest room upstairs. I stood there, staring after them and feeling the breath heavily drag through my lungs with each passing moment.

Would I destroy my own sister when she turned into what I was born to hate... born to loathe... born to kill? I had no answer for any of these questions.

All I could do now was wait.


	93. Chapter 95

**A/N: I hope all of you are ready for this chapter :) Thank you to everyone for your patience and support. A lot of you have expressed your heartbreak over Rachel's change, but please remember to hold onto hope! I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter! As I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo **

**CHAPTER NINETY - FIVE**

**(JPOV)**

My hands shook as I listened to the frantic hissing in the guest room upstairs, hearing the Cullen's discuss Rachel like she were now their special patient. I sat down at the foot of the stairs, listening intently to their every word as they rushed around up there.

"Should she be so still?" Rosalie asked, with a true hint of concern in her voice.

"Yes... I've seen this before... She is progressing in her change exactly the way she should. We need to make her more comfortable... she needs to be cleaned up... and properly dressed so she won't be so frightened when she awakes." Esme replied.

"Rosalie... go find her something in your old room... you left a few things in your closet when we departed Forks before... You must have something that will fit her?" Emmett asked.

I couldn't help but gnash my teeth together as I listened to them discuss such an idiotic point as her dress attire. Like it would fucking matter if her hair were washed and brushed, or if her previously scarred body was clean when she opened her eyes again... Like it would fucking matter how neat her clothes were when she saw her new reflection for the first time... feeling foreign in her own body ... a body that was once her own. Like she would really care what the fuck her new reflected image held when she glanced into a shiny mirror for the first time. I knew my sister. I knew what she would focus on... what would stand out the most to her. Rachel would only see the red eyes looking back at her in the mirror. She wouldn't feel any pleasure from her new appearance, she would only feel the intense blood lust... the raw hunger to drink the crimson red that ran through human veins... she would only know the sense of pain from the branding iron she would think had been rammed down her throat.

I cringed and closed my eyes, thinking of how different she would be... how nothing about her would remotely resemble my sister anymore. Life sure had a cruel fucking way of turning the tables on you. The entire situation had my insides screaming to the point of wanting to jump out of my own fucking skin. I felt a hand suddenly take mine as I hung my head, still listening to Esme fuss over Rachel on the next floor.

I lifted my head then to see Bella kneel herself down on the lower step in front of me, her look alone enough to show me that she felt my immense sorrow in the sudden loss of the sister I had always known.

I took her in my arms, inhaling her scent and feeling the comfort trickle in through me from her embrace. Her mere touch, now invading the raw torment that tried to cripple me, as a tear rolled down my cheek. The lump in my throat nearly choked me as I tried to force it down with a hard swallow, and the grip on my numb facade began to hastily slip away from me when I felt her wrap her arms around my neck, and heard her soft whisper at my ear.

"I wish I could take this pain for you... I'm so sorry... The two of you will find a way to stay family, Jacob... There's a way... There has to be."

I tightened my grip on her, securing her to me and taking refuge in her arms. In that moment, I wanted to fall apart, but I forced myself to keep it together.

I soon noticed Paul standing on the porch with the others, their voices carrying in through the house as they talked.

"How the hell could this be right?" Sam sighed with a shake of his head, as he laid a firm hand on Paul's shoulder.

"I don't know..." Paul replied, his tone void of any and all emotion.

"Talk about fucked up!" Leah shrugged. "Of all the people... and of all the times-"

"Leah..." Sam cautioned, his eyes angry when he glared at her.

I saw her nod to him in understanding and head off for the woods to join Seth and Quil by the tree line.

"I wish I had an answer for your brother... an answer to why..." Sam offered, as Paul walked off without even acknowledging his statement. "Paul... where are you going? You shouldn't be alone right now!"

He didn't reply to Sam, as he strolled off with the eyes of the others watching him in nervous fashion.

I reluctantly released Bella, placing a kiss to her lips before heading out after Paul.

"I'll be right back, honey." I whispered to her as I went.

Paul was swift to avoid my gaze when I saw him stop by a large tree ahead.

"Don't run." I stated to him as he glanced back my way.

"Why the fuck not?" He yelled.

"It doesn't solve anything, Paul."

"What is it you suggest I do then? Huh?" He angrily bit back. "Sit around in there and wait for her to wake up?"

I went mute at his words, seeing his boiling anger fester just beneath the surface of his numb exterior. His face twitching with the effort to contain it.

"She-"

"She won't even know, Jacob! She won't ever understand now... like she was supposed to... someday. I've been in this pack long enough to know exactly how this whole fucked up imprinting bullshit works!"

I met his angry stare with a glare of my own, hearing his disregard for the intimate connection, and feeling my temper flare as a result of it. My anger soon faded when I saw how truly anguished his features became as he continued.

"There's no way to fix this! Nothing will be the way it was supposed to! I feel like someone tore my fucking insides out and left me to deal with the shitty aftermath! She'll loath me... and I'll wanna kill here... the same way she'll loath and provoke you! Tell me, Jacob... where's the happy damn ending in that?"

I remained silent as he shook with his words, his tremors becoming more prominent with every anguished word he spoke.

"She won't learn to love me... learn to somehow accept the connection we have! You can't fucking learn to love something you were made to hate."

I took a step toward him, seeing his hurt and knowing almost exactly how he felt.

"I can't give you the assurance you're looking for, Paul! I fucking wish I could! I don't know what the next twenty - four hours will be like. No one does. She could wake up and..."

I paused, struggling to find the right words and seeing him read my pained expression. His tone changed when he addressed me again.

"She was your sister, man. Here I am bitching about the shit luck of this mess to the one person who knew her best. I'm sorry." He replied, outstretching his hand to me. I shook it firmly and managed a nod to him as the lump in my throat returned. "How the hell are you gonna tell Billy?"

I didn't respond... I couldn't respond... the grief was heavy and unrelenting and I knew what I felt would only be increased ten fold for my father.

"Jacob?" I heard Bella's soft voice then call out from the front door of the house.

"Go be with her, man. She's what you need." Paul sighed. "I gotta go... run... or... take off for a little while... Something."

"I'll give you the space you need right now, bro... Just as long as I have your word that you'll be back within a day?"

He nodded and turned away from me then, his shoulders slumped as he went. I feared for him... for his well being. I knew what being separated from your imprint was like and I wouldn't wish that kind of raw torment on anyone.

I soon retreated back inside and sunk down on the stairs again, feeling Bella tuck herself under my arm as the sun peered in brightly through the windows, alerting us all of high noon.

"Will Paul be okay?" Bella asked.

"I don't know, honey." I truthfully replied to her.

"What can we do?"

"Unfortunately, nothing... nothing but wait... it's all we can do and I fucking hate it."

She inched herself in closer to me, her gaze meeting mine with genuine sadness.

"Then we wait..."

"I don't want you anywhere near her when she-"

"I'm not leaving you, Jacob." She asserted.

"It's not safe for you, Bells."

"I wanna be here..."

I could see the determination in her eyes and knew that she had no intention of changing her set mind.

"The entire pack is right out there... I know I'm safe." She added.

"It's a risk I don't wanna take, Bella." I stated firmly to her in a raised voice, seeing her gaze immediately lower to the floor from my tone. The chatter in the house stopped as Sam and the others shot a concerned look my way. Rosalie and Emmett then appeared at the bottom of the stairs, their golden gaze wide.

I had never spoken to her like that before ... not once.

I recanted almost instantly. Seeing the sincere hurt on her face from my harshness with her. I felt like an absolute ass. I took her by the hand and led her into their kitchen, getting us away from some of the all too observant gazes.

Her hand slipped from mine once we were alone and she was utterly silent, as she folded her arms acrossed her chest.

"I'm s-"

"Don't be." She softly interjected. "You're just being protective."

"Doesn't give me the right to raise my voice to you... ever." I replied, pulling her to me. "I just don't know how this will all play out, Bells. She's... not gonna be Rachel anymore..."

Bella nodded, pulling away from my embrace with a sigh.

"Guess I'm still trying to hope for the better outcome... you know? I keep thinking maybe it won't be as bad as what we fear."

"Sure as hell feels that bad." I replied, swallowing against the lump in my throat. "I fear she won't even know me as her brother... that she'll only know what I am... what she is... the enemies we are to each other-"

My voice cracked on the last word and I felt the overwhelming emotion claw at me once more. Bella moved herself in closer to me when she saw me fight it. I was determined to keep my composure in spite of the raw ache in my chest, and the unrelenting torment that swam freely through my mind.

I had a pack who counted on me to hold my shit together...

A pack who relied on me for direction and strength...

One of my own who needed to remember his own strength now more than ever...

I cringed as I thought of Paul, knowing the gut wrenching torture he was facing right now. I felt Bella's delicate hands run over my chest as she embraced me. Her gaze truly penetrating, as she leaned up on her tip toes to kiss my cheek.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, Jacob. You get to fall apart just like everyone else."

"No..." I countered, feeling the angry tears sting my eyes.

"Yes you do." She replied, as Esme suddenly appeared in the kitchen with us, her look alone telling me all I needed to know before she opened her mouth.

"It's... time..." She stated, reaching her hand out to us. "Come with me."

I felt as if I couldn't will my fucking legs to move as I stared at her. I wasn't ready for this... I never would be.

"I'll stay here..." Bella softly stated, hugging me again tightly before I followed Esme through the house and up the stairs. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as we went. Sam stopped me by the base of the staircase, his words firm and sincere.

"We'll be right here, Jacob. We'll watch out for Bella. If it gets too dangerous... you know she'll be in good hands."

I nodded, feeling his hand tightly grip my shoulder as I slowly passed him.

The walk to the room felt like it was a mile long. Every step made my chest hurt worse and every sound had me on high alert.

Rosalie and Emmet met me at the door with expectant glances, like they were waiting for me to phase right then and there... like they knew what a fine fucking line I was teetering on in this moment.

I stepped into the room behind Esme and heard the door click shut behind me. Esme leaned over Rachel's eerily still body, touching a lock of her shiny ink black hair while she spoke to me.

"Should be anytime now."

They had her clothed in a red satin dress. Something that looked formal enough to wear to a wedding... a date... something that didn't feel right for a moment like this at all.

"It's all Rose had that fit her." Esme offered to me in explanation, seeing the look of disgust now prominently etched in my face, as my eyes took in the change of Rachel's body... The porcelain paleness plainly in her features now.

I bit back a low snarl as I moved myself closer to her. Every step a real struggle, feeling as if my feet were cemented to the damn floor. I forced myself to try and ignore the smell that had hit my senses the moment I entered the room. It was as rancid as all the others, and just as dauntingly unique. I felt the anger rip up my insides as I shook when I sat down next to her bed.

I inhaled sharply, trying to detect any of her own human scent... and becoming all the more angered to discover it was gone... there was none left to be found.

"She's close..." I whispered to Esme, seeing her nod in acknowledgment to me.

"Jacob... I know it goes against everything in you.. to be close to her the way you used to..."

"I can't be." I stated to her in a vacant tone.

"She will ask for you... She will be afraid of her own reflection... afraid of what she feels... the instincts to kill will terrify her... and in that moment of terror... she will ask for you. I am almost certain of this."

I felt her words sink into me with visceral weight as I reached my hand out, and touched the backs of my fingers to my sisters limp hand. I then stood abruptly as an angry cuss left my mouth.

"Fuck!"

"Jacob..." Esme sighed, seeing me shake from head to toe with the tremors I could not contain. Fighting them was damn painful and I soon swung my fist into the near wall, as they tried to consume me in a raging heat.

"Remember who she is to you..." Esme offered from behind me.

I clung with bleeding fingertips to the memories of her and I when we were little... memories of her laughter... of her voice... of her caring nature.

"She is your sister..."

I turned back toward them, seeing Esme brush her hair in a motherly fashion. The look of her concern settling over me.

"You care for her already, don't you?" I asked her.

"Of course... she has been dealt an unfair hand ... and... she is your family, Jacob. So... I already have immense care for her."

"You know that we're meant to hate each other, Esme." I coldly bit back, seeing her face harden in response.

"Doesn't have to be that way. We united for the cause of Bella's safety not so long ago. There's no reason we couldn't do the same for Rachel now."

"I don't want this."

"I know you don't, Jacob. I truly feel for the awful position Garrett placed you in, but I honestly believe we can all find a way to live peacefully with each other."

"Not possible."

"Isn't it?" She countered. "Can you be so sure of something you've never tried?"

"Our kind aren't meant to be friends, Esme."

"Maybe we should change that."

I saw her set the hair brush down and run her hand over Rachel's forehead. Checking on her like a mother would check her ailing child.

Rachel groaned and I instinctively took a stride forward.

"Is she hurting?" I asked.

"No... not at this phase of her transition. She will be opening her new eyes any moment."

I shook my head, hastily turning to leave the room as her new smell struck me in the face again.

"I can't fucking do this!" I yelled, whipping the door open.

Esme rose quickly, fleeting over to me and placing herself in front of the door. "If you leave her like this... You will live to regret it. She will need you. More than you realize, Jacob."

"I can't help her!" I yelled. "She's-"

I was stopped mid thought by the sudden movement in the room... movement that didn't come from Esme.

I saw Rachel crouched down in the corner, her eyes wide open and the brightest shade of crimson red I had ever seen. She opened her mouth to speak but soon shut it as Esme retreated to her side of the room. I froze where I was in the door frame. Holding my breath as Esme spoke to her.

"Rachel..." She soothed. "It's okay. I know your probably confused right now."

She tried to approach her but Rachel backed herself further away from her. Her eyes wild and frantically searching the room as she grabbed her throat. My hands shook as I watched Esme try to reach for her.

"You're going to be okay, Rachel. My name is Esme... and I'm here to help you."

Rachel's long hair draped her shoulders, and covered some of her paled face as she shook her head in protest, clawing at her throat as her gaze swiftly shifted to me. I felt the roar of the beast shake my insides as she stared at me. Her eyes as red as the damn blood in my veins.

She rose from her crouched position and tried to speak again, her eyes shifting from threatening to afraid in mere moments. I clenched my jaw as the tremors began at the base of my spine and tried to spread further through me.

Esme reached out and touched Rachel's arm and she desperately grabbed Esme's hand, seeming to make the connection in temperature between them now. Esme simply nodded in confirmation to her, as she took both of Rachel's hands in her own.

"Yes, Rachel. We are the same ... you and I."

This knowledge seemed to calm her as she stared helplessly at Esme. Their interaction reminding me of someone who had come across a wounded animal in the woods.

Her red eyes lowered to the floor once before she released Esme's hands and snapped her head back up to meet my observant gaze. My insides screamed at me to phase, the force of the tremors nearly knocking me to the floor as I fought them.

I would not kill her...

I would not take the life of my own sister...

I repeated these short words in my head ... over and over again as Rachel stared at me. Her whisper soon coming out in a ragged breath.

"Jake..."

The voice was vastly different... high pitched and breathy ... nothing like the voice I had known since childhood.

I gripped the door frame for support as I raised my head to see her crimson eyes still upon me. She grabbed her throat as her gaze went wide with recognition then. Her look was truly haunting when she tried to speak again.

"What..." She began.

"Shh... Rachel ... you need to feed." Esme replied. "Come with me... I will show you all that it is you need to know."

The words hit me like a fucking freight train. She needed to feed...

I forced myself to turn around and leave that room as Esme explained what she was now to her. I heard every word spoken as I crested the stairs. My insides doused in a fire that made me want to scream out in rage. I was soon abruptly halted by the sound of Esme's shrill scream.

"Rachel! NO!"

I whirled around just in time to see her behind me, her eyes full of a tangible blood lust as they roamed my face.

Emmett grabbed her from behind, trying to pin her but she was strong... a hell of a lot stronger than he was. She fought him off and escaped his grasp, lunging for me as I phased and landed on all fours with a ferocious roar to her.

Like a silent command had been given, the others from the pack were instantly on my flanks as I backed away from her. I Saw Sam step up beside me, his roar loud and lethal as she stared at us in disbelief. Her eyes roaming over each wolf and then coming back to meet mine.

"Rachel..." Esme cautioned, trying to pull her away from us. "You need to come with me... to feed... I will show you how to contain the burn you feel in your throat. This isn't the way."

I watched Rachel's head then snap up as Paul came in from outside. His human form shaking as he stepped over the threshold. She threw Esme down to the floor and blew past Emmet and Rosalie as she dashed for him.

I whipped around and saw Paul phase instantly, sinking down to the ground with a menacing roar to her. She stopped in her tracks as she saw his size, her hands grasping her throat as she ripped open the door and took off with the speed of sound through the forest.

I took off after her without hesitation. My pack on my heels as we chased her through the dense tree cover.

_"What do we do if we catch her, Jake?"_ Seth asked with a roar beside me.

_"What do you mean what do you do?"_ Leah bit back to him. "_You kill her-"_

I skidded to a stop and barrelled into her upon hearing this, sending her rolling to the forest floor beneath us.

_"GO HOME, LEAH!_" I commanded her, feeling the hot anger spread through me from her words._ "I DON'T WANT YOU OUT HERE!"_

She coward down to my command immediately, a whine escaping her as I took off in search for Rachel.

"_What if she heads for somewhere familiar... Like your dads, Jake!"_ Embry yelled, as we ran full speed ahead.

I picked up my pace as I neared the La' Push town line, running like hell to get to dads. I soon broke free from the cover of the trees and let out an enraged roar when I smelled the acidic stench linger out in his back yard. I saw her fly up over the steps as a hiss left her. She whipped her head in my direction when she heard my roar, her hands ripping into dads door like it were made of flimsy cardboard.

I knew what was coming next, as dad opened his front door to see what all the noise was about, the sight making me phase back to human form with a scream to her.

"RACHEL!"

She stopped when she heard my voice, her claw like hands leaving dads door and her eyes fixed upon mine.

I saw her back herself away from the door when dad emerged from it. She ran from him, flying past us and fleeting for the forest. I turned back to see Dad clutching his chest with true shock and agony plaguing his features. I ran to him.

"Dad..."

"**No!**" He yelled. **"Tell me it's not true!"**

Sam was soon crouching down with me next to dad. "Billy... we..."

**"She's one of them!"** He yelled to us. Tears forming in his eyes as I backed away, feeling the strong pull to go after her.

"Jacob... you go with the others. I'll stay here with Billy." Sam offered.

**"You can't kill her, Jacob!"** My father begged me as I ran straight for the woods, phasing mid stride and following her acidic trail through La'Push land.

My thoughts were all over the place as I ran... my mind filling with the images of my sister... of the family life we had when mom was still alive...

I thought of how this would surely tear my mother in two if she were here to bare witness to this fucking mess. I soon grew tired of my thoughts not being my own. I wanted to face her alone. I gave the order the the others to fall back and they listened without protest, as I crossed the river and landed on the other side of the rocks.

I caught a whiff of Cullen as soon as my paws touched the slippery stone, and halted my run as I heard a loud hiss come from behind me.

"We have to get her before she sinks her teeth into someone!" Rosalie stated, as she appeared to me.

I roared as she then took off with me fast behind her, and I couldn't help but think of just how damn twisted this whole shit was... I was supposed to be running their kind out of Washington... far away from La'Push... or destroying them the first chance I got, and here I was chasing after Rosalie in an attempt to stop the massacre my newly turned sister would no doubt engage in if we didn't find her... and soon.

Twisted shit... that's what this was.

Rosalie suddenly stopped and held her hand up, signaling for me to do the same. I slowed my pace and joined her as we neared a cliff. The sound of all small creatures ceasing movement around us, telling us both how close we were to her now. I soon saw the trail of animal blood beneath us in the snow, as we continued on with our search for her. A large mutilated deer came into view as we got closer. It's remains barely recognizable. She had drained it of all life and moved on to her next supply... any other unsuspecting prey.

"She's feeding on animals, Jacob... She's trying to fight the urge for human blood already... and she's here... somewhere close..." Rose breathed, whipping her blonde head in every which direction.

I heard her before I saw her, her hiss nearly inaudible as she ran for Rosalie, knocking into her with enough force to take her down to the snowy ground.

"Stop following me!" She screamed to Rosalie as she attacked her.

I watched them roll closer to the cliffs edge, seeing Rosalie kick Rachel off her, tossing her backwards towards me. I fought the urge that tried to crawl its way out of my muzzle... the barely controllable urge to rip into her... my own sister.

I huffed profusely, fighting back against the beast that told me to act and not think, taking control to the best of my ability and seeing Rosalie crouch down with her talon hands curled, and ready to fight Rachel as she flew at her again.

Rosalie caught her by the throat and I let out a snarl, seeing her force Rachel down with her powerful grip. I was fighting against the urge to destroy her myself and feeling the instinctive pull to protect her... something she no longer needed from me.

"Let go of me!" Rachel hissed, struggling in the snow with Rosalie. I backed myself into the trees and phased back to human form, pulling on my tattered and torn jeans and emerging there for her to see. I knew it was risky... but I had to fucking try.

I heard the granite flesh crackle as it began to tear across Rosalie's neck. She would destroy her if I didn't do something.

I spoke her name then... without any sense of threat or anger behind it... using the nickname I had used for her since I was just a kid.

"Rach..."

She let out a hiss and snapped her head up to see me. Her red eyes crazed looking as she searched my face.

"Get away from me!" She screamed. "Go!"

Rosalie flew up to her feet and took hold of her from behind, effectively restraining her from trying to attack me as her blood lust consumed her.

The hunger in her gaze made my skin crawl as she fought against Rosalie's grasp.

"Stop fighting me!" Rosalie yelled, seeming to really struggle to keep her restrained. "We're trying to help you!"

"Let go!" She shrieked, but Rosalie's grip was unyielding. "Your strength is diminishing cause you haven't fed. I can help you do that if you clam down and let me try to show you how to ease that raging burn in your throat."

Rachel stilled from her words, her frantic gaze meeting mine and searching for something there.

She soon sunk down to the forest floor with an anguished scream. "Make it stop! I can't stand it anymore."

"Come with me and I'll show you." Rosalie insisted.

Rachel shook her head in protest. "I don't know how."

"You will." Rosalie replied.

Rachel yanked free of her firm grasp, balling her hands into fists in the snow as she screamed. The sound making me cringe as it rang out around us.

"What did he do to me! What kind of monster did he make me into?"

"You're..." Rosalie began.

"A vampire." I vacantly interjected, seeing her raise her head at the sound of my approaching voice.

"...That's what I am..." She replied with horror in her tone.

"Yes." I confirmed to her, seeing her shake her head as her face fell. I was almost certain that if she had the ability to cry anymore, she would have had tears rolling down her cheeks.

She then looked up at me with desperation in her crimson stare. The sight of it nearly knocking the wind out of me.

"Jacob... I... I tried to ... ki-"

I took a step forward, my hands almost twitching to touch her... comfort her... fix this somehow.

Rachel recognized this and stood up, her hands clawing at her throat as she stepped closer to me.

"Tell me there's a way out of this... something I can do..." She begged.

I shook my head to her, feeling my throat damn near close as she fell down in the snow and crawled over to Rosalie... her voice desperate.

"Kill me..." She then pleaded with her. "Please... I beg you... You're just like me... You're strong enough..."

I felt her pain in every word she spoke as I watched her plea with Rosalie to end her new existence.

"I will not take your life." Rosalie declared, trying to help her up from the snow.

"I don't want to live like this..." She yelled, pulling away from her and turning to me. "Jake... Make it stop! Please!"

I saw her lay herself down next to Rosalie's feet, her dress torn as she continued to beg.

"I don't want to be this!" She whispered to Rosalie. "Please don't make me live this way."

"Is this the fate you really want?" Rosalie asked, meeting my gaze.

"Yes..."

I watched as Rachel clung to Rosalie's feet like she were the only possible chance of ending her torment.

"Kill me."

"No..." I breathed, feeling the choke hold of emotion tightly around my neck.

Rachel slowly turned as she heard this from me. Her red gaze full of sorrow.

"I can't be... here... like this... I'm everything you hate... everything our father loathes... that alone is enough to make me want to end this misery."

I forced myself to look past the red in her eyes, to ignore the sickeningly sweet scent that surrounded her now, as I took a step toward her. My teeth gnashing together even as I tried to get the words out.

"Rach..."

"No... it's the truth... I can see it in you... the battle you fight to remain human around me. I remember the stories dad told us over and over again when we were mere children. I know the hatred you have for my kind... for what I have been forcefully turned into."

"I... don't... hate you." I replied, feeling my tremors start again with haste as I took another step.

She rose to her feet, staring at me with an unreadable expression as I continued.

"I want you... to fight this... to fight the urge for human blood... to learn to live the way... the Cullen's have."

The words tasted rancid even as they left my mouth, but I spoke them anyway, trying my hardest to push down the raw urge to destroy her. The beast within screaming at me to end the threat before it could take a human life on my land.

"You don't mean that." Rachel replied, shaking her head profusely.

"I do." I forced out, trying to keep my tone even with her.

She then did the unexpected... She approached me... with such speed that I had no reaction time ... until she was reaching for me ... until the raw urge from the beast tore it's way through me with urgency.

I phased immediately, shredding my jeans and letting out a roar that shook the forest around us. Rachel backed herself away from me and I knew then that I had just shown her how right she was. We couldn't coexist.

Rosalie placed herself in between us, her hands raised in caution.

"Rachel... Listen to me... there is a way for the two of you to overcome this. It will take time and practice... on both your parts. But it is doable."

"Stop lying to me!" Rachel screamed to her, as another feral snarl came from me.

I tried to reign in the heat... to pull myself back out of it... but it was useless. She had been too close.

"I'm not lying to you. Jacob is your brother. The two of you will learn to coexist. If you just give it time!"

Rachel said nothing as she tore off through the forest again. Rosalie bolted after her as I let out a loud warning howl to the others, preparing them for what was coming. I had to protect my land... my people... from my own sister.

We spent the rest of the day and well into the night trailing her. The entire pack, all but Sam and Emby who remained with my father, had been tracking her for hours. When midnight came, I found myself desperate to find her. I had Bella safe with Esme and Emmett and my fathers house was guarded.

Rachel had left a trail of animal remains behind her and while it gave us a solid lead in pinpointing where she was, whenever we got within a few miles of her, she would vanish from us again.

We searched the rest of the night for her until it was nearly dawn and I hunkered down in wolf form by my fathers front door. She hadn't returned there yet, but I was certain she would and when she did... I would be ready... I had to be.

My eyes never closed as the sun began to rise and some of the morning clouds began to dissipate. I scanned the tree's and heard the same heart wrenching sound come from inside my fathers house ... the same sound I had heard on and off all night... his weeping for her.

I hadn't heard my father cry like that since mom had passed and it was a sound I never wanted to hear from him again. It tore me up and reminded me of why I had to get her to come back home... no matter what she was now. I knew without a doubt that my father would rather have some small part of her than nothing at all.

_"She has to be weary by now..._" Seth suggested.

_"Unless she's fed on a human." J_ared scoffed.

I let out a warning snarl to him as Paul whined from his remark.

_"Should we keep waiting?"_ Jared hedged next.

_"Yes."_ I firmly stated in reply.

_"How long?"_ Seth asked, brushing up against me as he hunkered back down.

_"As long as it takes."_ I replied.

A few more daunting hours passed before I felt the wind shift, and caught the scent we had been searching for all night.

_"Jake... Look."_ Paul suddenly huffed, getting to his feet as I rose up from the ground.

I saw her emerge from the tree line, her dress hanging in tattered shreds from her body and her red eyes on the snowy ground as she walked.

I phased back to human form with Paul, seeing her approach the house slowly, her gaze looking to be as lost as I'd ever seen it.

Paul handed me his jeans and I pulled them on before he phased back and got in line with the others.

"Stay here..." I cautioned them, as I took a few strides forward. She heard me immediately and turned to run.

"Rachel stop!" I yelled, seeing her pause by the tree line as she turned back to look at me. "Don't run..."

She backed away as I approached her, seeing her eyes of red go wide, as if she were afraid of me... maybe she was. Maybe in her own mind ... I was the threat now. I kept a considerable amount of distance between us as I spoke to her.

"Rosalie is right. We can find a way... until we do... the Cullen's have offered you to stay with them. To adapt there."

She nodded only once as she listened. Her gaze still as crazed as it was before.

"I can take you back." I suddenly heard Emmett's booming voice cut in as he swiftly approached us.

Rachel looked to me for assurance as he reached for her arm.

"It's okay... You'll be safe there with them. Their the only ones that can help you right now." I told her.

She then took Emmett's offered arm and went with him as he led the way back to the woods... back to Forks... back to their lair.

I saw her glance briefly over her shoulder as she stopped by the edge of the forest. Her face so stricken with sorrow that I had to fight back the angry tears that threatened to spill as I watched her go with him.

I mouthed the words when she was no longer in sight... my voice inaudible when the words left me.

"Goodbye Rachel... for now... not forever..."


	94. Chapter 96

**A/N: It has been way too long since my last update! :/ I hope to make it up to you with this longer chapter! Thank you for reading! I love all of your reviews and look forward to them. As I always say... HAPPY READING EVERYONE! :-) **

**CHAPTER NINETY - SIX**

**(BPOV)**

Jacob hadn't uttered more than just a few words in days. His overall disposition had been edgy lately... to put it mildly. He was withdrawn and seemed to be so lost in thought all the time. Even when he was home, which was more often than not since Rachel had moved in with the Cullen's, he was still rather silent. His only sign to me that he was even listening, would be the eye contact he made upon hearing me speak, or the feel of his hand reaching for mine whenever he was near me.

I was worried... we all were.

Sam and Emily had stopped by more than a dozen times since last week... since Rachel... and even they would shoot me glances of grave concern when he shied away from participating in any real conversation with them. He even seemed to struggle with simply holding Levi. The few times he had scooped him up when Sam and Emily unexpectedly dropped in, he always appeared almost uncomfortable with him... like he had too much running through his mind to be able to focus on Levi in his arms for longer than a few short minutes.

I knew what a delicate balance he was so desperately trying to maintain and I could see it... there in his hollow gaze... the lingering effects this tragedy with his sister had left with him. I could feel it... the way his body was riddled with immense tension when he cuddled up with me on the sofa after dinner, or in the way he would hold me in our bed at night. There were times I would look at him from across the room and swear he were teetering on the fine lined edge of a real breakdown... but just as quickly as the overwhelming look had crossed his handsome face... it would dissipate and he would return to the misleading numb exterior I had been witness to now for days.

I felt as if he were right in front of me... but I couldn't reach him... like he was here... but he wasn't... visible but not present.

Paul hadn't been by. Not once since everything had taken place with Rachel. He stuck to his patrol schedule... religiously... even going as far as to volunteer for several extra shifts and giving some of the guys, including Jacob, a little more time off in the evenings. I knew what he was doing and I knew, much like Jacob, that it was only a matter of time before he would crack and his agony would pour out. I had tried to talk to him, on more than one occasion. I had even cooked an extra pan of his favorite meal... lasagna ... one night last week in hopes he would come over. I called and asked his mother if she would give him the message, but to my disappointment, Paul himself returned my call an hour later and kindly declined my offer. I didn't take it personally... how could I? The poor guy hardly ate... or slept... and that alone had everyone nervous for him. He needed his leader. He needed Jacob to affirm that he would be okay and Jacob was having a hard enough time pulling his own stuff together right now.

I was truthfully almost dreading our Doctors appointment at the clinic in town this afternoon. I was afraid he would only be half present there with me, but either way, I knew I had to go.

My mother and Phil had returned back to their home in Florida days ago. She had called me to let me know she had arrived safely with Phil and to check in. I told her nothing about Rachel, partially because Jacob was sitting right next to me when she called and I knew he already played that image over and over again in his mind, without the need of me telling the story all over again to her. I would discuss it all at a better time. She did ask if we had considered her offer for vacation with them, and I truthfully told her we were still thinking about it, and would come to a definite decision after my doctors appointment. She then informed me she would be anxiously awaiting my call and asked me to hug Billy for her when we saw him again. I assured her that I would.

That was an entirely new worry...

Billy hadn't left the house in days either. He barely ate anything I took over to him and when I saw the open bottle of whiskey on his kitchen table a few days ago, while dropping him off some groceries for the week, I was all the more concerned. He offered me a weak smile in thanks and patted my hand before telling me to have a good night, and pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniels.

I told Jacob when I came back home that his father was spiraling, and Jacob didn't even barely flinch in response. I knew better than to ever think it was because he didn't care... I knew it was because he himself was utterly numb. The only person I had broken my silence to about all this heartache over Rachel, was my father.

Charlie had stopped in when Jacob was on a patrol run with the pack early one morning, and I had spilled it all to him over coffee. He was a wash of white by the time I finished telling him the grave and shrilling details about Rachel's unfortunate fate. He promised he would look after Billy over the next few weeks and even pulled Jake into a firm hug when he came home for breakfast. It had caught Jacob off guard and I saw the anguish that clouded his dark eyes when Charlie gripped him. Neither one of them spoke, they only exchanged a look... one that said way more than meaningless offerings of condolences ever could.

It was then that Jacob had quietly spoken the three little words I had missed hearing from him over these last few days...

He had helped me put away the breakfast dishes, and placed a soft kiss to my neck when I turned to leave the kitchen.

"I love you." He whispered to me.

I stopped where I stood, feeling his warm voice wash over me like a rivers current, and turning back to see his sincere gaze come to meet mine.

"I love you, too."

He headed to take a shower shortly after that, and I listened to the water turn on as I stood just outside the bathroom door.

He had been so emotionally void lately that I feared for what would happen to him when it all inevitably came rolling to the surface. I hated to see him hurting, it was like a knife to my own chest. Each time I thought of Rachel, my eyes would cloud with unshed tears. There were many times I would start to think of her... of her smile... of the memories I had of her and I would have to force the thoughts away... somehow avert Jacobs always in tune and watchful gaze. I wasn't daft enough to assume that this had worked... that he hadn't sensed my emotion from across the house... I knew better. But if he had, he was at least being gracious enough to let me think I had hidden it well.

I was becoming more and more nervous as the morning passed, knowing that our appointment was quickly approaching. I exited the shower in a rush to get dressed when I heard the front door to the house slam shut. The sound so loud, I nearly jumped as I hitched the large bath towel under my arms. Voices soon carried in through the house, as I listened by our bedroom door.

"Jacob... would you just-."

"No."

"But...-"

"I said no, Embry." Jake reiterated in a stern and elevated tone.

"There's a chance-"

"I said NO!"

Jacob's voice was loud and angry as it echoed down the hall to me. I hung my head, hearing his irate tone with Embry and trying to understand what they were discussing.

"It might work!" Embry then bit back.

There was no reply from Jacob and I grew a bit anxious upon noting the silence now. Several seconds went by before I heard Embry speak again.

"What... you're kicking me out?" Embry asked, anger clear in his voice.

I then heard the door slam shut once more, followed by an angry cuss from Jacob. I slowly approached him, my steps cautious when I saw him staring out the window in the kitchen. His face appearing fixed like stone as he glared out after Embry, who was climbing into his truck and peeling out of our driveway.

"Jake..."

He shook his head when he heard me, turning to face me with a huff of frustration. His expression unreadable as he stormed out around me.

"Guy thinks he knows everything." He scoffed. "Like he has a fucking clue."

"What was he saying to you?" I hedged.

"Nothing worth mentioning." He replied, placing a quick kiss to my forehead as he tried to duck my question.

"You sure about that?"

Jake stopped by the counter, his hand firmly gripping the edge of it. I saw the veins in his arm bulge from his tight grasp, recognizing the tension rolling through him as he stood there. I walked over to where he was, tentatively running my fingertips along his exposed forearm and seeing his grip loosen as a result. He turned to face me with a blank expression.

"He thinks I can visit her there. Like she would even have enough control of her blood lust for a thing like that to happen."

Though his words were dripping with disgust that Embry would have even proposed such a thing, I saw his face and knew he wished he could see her.

I placed myself in front of him, watching his doubtful expression as he stared off blankly ahead.

"It could-" I paused when I saw him glance down at me with a disbelieving look. I shut my mouth from offering any further support for such ideas, knowing it was the last thing he wanted to hear right now.

He wrapped me up in a warm embrace, holding my head to his chest. I could hear his heart thrumming away and feel the tenseness that plagued his every muscle. Like he were waiting to leap at an unknown threat at any given moment.

"You should dress, honey." He whispered, upon releasing me.

I hurried to do just that, noting the time and already feeling my nerves overwhelm me. This would be our very first prenatal appointment and my stomach churned for more reasons than just the usual morning sickness, as I pulled on my jeans, feeling them now tight around my waist. I couldn't help but grin as I stole a glance to our full length mirror, seeing that while I was far from showing much yet, my stomach was no longer as flat as it used to be. I drew in a nervous breath as my hands touched my midsection through my cream colored sweater.

"Okay little one..." I sighed... "Time to go... I get to hear your heartbeat for the first time today." I sighed again, feeling excited over the anticipation of hearing it.

"It's strong... Healthy... Every beat, Bells." Jacob suddenly replied, now standing in the door frame. His abrupt statement had startled me as I approached him.

"What... You... you c-"

"I can hear him... or her..." He then replied, with something beautiful and breathtaking spreading across his face... a genuine smile. The smile I hadn't seen grace his face in days was now prominently etched there.

"How long have you..."

"Since I got back home... few weeks... I wanted to tell you sooner but-" He replied, and I watched helplessly as the smile slipped away all too soon. I hugged him tightly, feeling his arms enclose around me as I marveled in this moment with him.

He could hear our unborn child's heartbeat and as I let this known fact sink into me, I was certain that my own smile was permanent.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked, his hands roaming up my back.

"As ready as I can be. These jeans are kinda tight now." I shrugged.

"Still look good on you." He countered.

"You won't be saying that when I'm as big as a house!" I laughed, playfully shoving my hands into his chest.

Jacobs grin then returned before capturing my lips in a hungry kiss, causing me to momentarily forget our timeliness for the appointment.

"You're beautiful big or small, Bella." He whispered against my parted lips.

"You could change your tune-." I began, but stopped upon meeting his gaze and seeing the devout adoration there in his deep brown eyes.

"You know better..." He asserted.

I sighed and walked out around him to get my coat and boots on, knowing that we were now seriously pressed for time.

I could feel his penetrative gaze on me as I dressed for the cold.

"What?" I asked, wondering what in gods green earth he could find so fascinating.

"You..."

"What about me?" I replied, with a grin to him as he grabbed the keys and put on his coat for appearances sake alone.

"You're worried for nothing, Bells. You could pack on sixty pounds with this pregnancy and it wouldn't phase me in the least... just more of you to love."

His words had me smiling wider as he took my hand and we made the trip into town.

The health clinic was relatively busy... full of children and expectant mothers when we arrived, some of them looking to be overdue as they thumbed their way impatiently through endless gossip magazines, while waiting for the nurse to call their name from the clipboard she held in her hand.

We checked in at the front desk and sat down among the others, taking a smaller bench seat in the corner, somewhere slightly less crowded to sit while we waited. I couldn't stop my foot from bouncing as a wave of nervous energy hit my system.

"Bells..." Jake whispered, leaning in closer to me, as he placed an arm around my shoulders. "Everything will be fine, honey."

I was bewildered at how he could be so calm. We had no idea what the doctor would say. I mean, after all, I wasn't exactly the most healthy individual. I frequently skipped meals and ate on the go ... a lot. Not to mention my previous addiction to coffee... and soda for that matter.

The wait was longer than I anticipated and I inwardly cringed as we waited for the minutes to pass... dragging by as slow as damn molasses in winter!

By the time the nurse called my name, I was eager to get the appointment done and over with. Jacob tossed the magazine he had been reading back down on one of the many tables filled with them, and took my hand while we were ushered down a long hall to our exam room.

The nurse was kind as she smiled and asked me to slip into what resembled a flimsy hospital gown. I did so when she left, and studied the pale blue patterns on the tile floor while Jacob tied the gown in the back. I had a million unfounded fears running through my head.

What if there was something wrong?

What if I had some kind of abnormal blood count or what if there was more than one baby?

Oh God... Two... or three... triplets... quadruplets even...

The feel of Jacobs strong arms coming to enclose around my waist, brought me back to the present, my heart still pounding away like a busy jackhammer.

"I'm nervous."

"I know." He soothingly replied. "There's nothing to worry about."

"You don't know that."

"You're right... I don't." He replied, placing his cheek next to mine. "But I'm gonna believe that this baby is healthy ... that you're healthy ... and that everything will be okay."

I nodded in nervous fashion to him as he sat down with me on the exam table, his hand never leaving mine while we waited for the doctor to arrive. Thankfully she didn't take too long to do so.

"Hello,.. Miss Swan, is it?" The female doctor asked upon entering the room with a tired grin.

"Yes... Bella Swan." I replied, taking her offered hand and seeing her shake Jacob's as well.

"Alright... and you must be the father?"

"Correct. I'm Jacob." He replied, leaving the exam table and pulling up a chair next to me.

"I'm very sorry for the long wait out there. Been a little behind today."

I offered her a gracious nod as she began asking me the twenty or more questions prior to starting the examination.

When the long list of questions came to a close, I anxiously watched her wheel over the sonogram machine. Her smile reassuring when she told me what the physical examination would entail, and then politely asking me to lie back. I did so, with a racing heart and soon felt her guide my feet into the stirrups.

I focused on the lights that were bright above me as she turned on the machine.

Jacob retook my hand and met my nervous gaze with a reassuring smile, and a kiss to my forehead, while the doctor continued to make her many preparations.

I felt the coolness of the doctors gloved hand, as she informed me she was beginning the ultrasound. Her tone kind when she asked me to relax.

I took a few steadying breaths and felt her gently insert the transducer wand. I held my breath as I turned my head to see blackened sonogram screen flicker with the wands movement.

"Okay... well... You are most certainly pregnant." The doctor smiled, glancing over to Jake and I before pointing to the small marble sized back dot in the middle of the screen. "I'd say you're just about eight weeks along."

I heard her words, but my ears were tuned to the muffled sound of a rapid heartbeat that flooded the room.

"Hear that?" The doctor asked us with a brilliant grin. "That's the sound of your little ones heartbeat. It's very strong."

I hadn't been aware that I was crying until I felt the backs of Jacob's fingers catch a tear as it rolled down my cheek.

In all my life... I had never heard a sound more beautiful. It left me truly awe struck as I continued to listen to it, seeing Jake's eyes glued to screen in an awe filled haze of his own.

"I know it's hard to make things out this early on, but... if you look really close... " The doctor sighed, pointing again to a specific tiny image in the middle of the screen. "That's your little one."

I watched Jacobs face light up with a heart stopping grin as he squeezed my hand.

"Everything looks great, Miss Swan. I see no concerns here."

I felt the relief that ran through me as she finished the sonogram, and told me I could sit up and dress, before kindly informing me that she would be back shortly.

Jacob pulled me into a passionate kiss the moment the doctor closed the door.

"You were right." I grinned against his soft lips.

"I want that in writing." He teased, as he leaned over to hand me my clothes.

I hurriedly dressed and sat with him, as the doctor came back in shortly with a sonogram photo for us to take home.

"This is yours to keep and I want to see you back here in a month. Okay, Bella?"

"Yes... thank you so much, doctor." I replied, taking the sonogram photo from her.

"Congratulations to you both. If anything troublesome occurs in the meantime ... anything at all... just give us a call and we'll get you right back in to be seen."

"We will... thank you." Jake sincerely replied to her.

The doctor waved with another friendly smile, before ushering us out to the front desk where we scheduled the next prenatal appointment.

The ride back home was full of my chatter about how amazing it was to hear our baby's heartbeat. Jacob just smiled and held my hand as I carried on. His eyes bright with excitement... nearly glowing in a way I hadn't witnessed in days.

"Can we... stop... at your dads? I wanna show him?" I asked when we neared home.

"Honey... I don't know what kind of shape dads in right now. I talked to Charlie late last night and he said he'd been hitting the bottle most of the day. I tried calling... he won't answer the phone or the damn door... only for Charlie."

"I still wanna go see him. Please?"

He thoughtfully nodded as he turned onto the Reservation and headed for Billy's.

"I think he's angry with me, Bella... for Rachel."

"What happened wasn't your fault."

"I don't think he see's it that way. I think he believes I'm partially to blame."

The conversation stopped when we turned into the familiar driveway with the red house I loved.

"If he's angry... or rude... I'm taking you home." He insisted, getting out and opening my door for me.

"He wouldn't be rude..." I replied, feeling Jake's fingers lace with mine.

"You haven't seen him drunk." Jake soon countered, his knuckles coming to rasp on the front door.

Billy answered rather quickly, his eyes wide in alarm when he saw us standing there.

"Jake... what are you doing here?" Billy asked him in a somber tone.

"I came by earlier this morning and you didn't answer... Charlie told me-"

"Yeah I know what he told you. So what... You're here to lay on some guilt and shame?"

"No, dad." Jake replied, his tone becoming edgy now. "I can't tell you what to drink... or what the hell not to drink."

"I can't do this!" Billy then yelled. "I don't wanna see anyone! Just go... please."

His tone was harsher than I had ever heard him speak and I willed away the tears that sprang into my eyes from hearing his words.

"Come on, honey... let's go. We'll be back later, dad." Jake sighed, as he tried to pull me away.

I held my ground, my feet feeling planted on his doorstep as I raised the sonogram picture, showing it to Billy before he could fully close the door to us. He met my gaze with a true remorseful sadness, as he gingerly reached out and took the offered picture from me. His hands shaking a bit while he looked at it.

I knelt down next to him, releasing Jake's hand and pointing to the small image displayed.

"I know it's hard to make out... but... that's your grandchild, Billy. We just came from my first doctors appointment... baby's real healthy. I wanted you to see before we showed anyone else." I softly stated, seeing his eyes well up when he raised his head to look at me and then to Jake.

"This is ... this is..." He stammered, seeming to struggle for the right words. "The most... beautiful thing I've seen in years."

His words were hoarse and choked when he handed the small sonogram photo back to me.

Jake was mute while he gazed in passed the door, seeing the mess of the house and taking my hand.

"We could stay here... with you... maybe help you clean up the place for a bit... cook something for dinner? You know... I'm eating for two now so... may have to order an extra pizza just for me." I lightheartedly offered in joking fashion.

Billy nodded slowly, seeing Jake walk in through the house with a look of shock and disappointment, as he saw all the many emptied whiskey bottles that lay all over the table and counters.

He was silent as he went around collecting them in a large trash bag, the look on his face almost painful for me to see as he went.

I was rather stunned myself when I glanced around to see a dozen or so empty bottles the Jacob was now snatching up in fistfuls.

"I... uh... haven't had time to clean up around here, lately... "

"That's okay, Billy." I replied, hearing Jacob mutter something incoherent under his breath as he soon set the bag of empty bottles outside.

I grabbed the broom and began to sweep the floors while Jacob threw a load of Billy's dirty clothes in the wash.

"You two don't need to do that." He sighed, taking notice of me putting on a fresh pot of coffee for him.

"It's no trouble." I replied.

Billy's gaze then went to the window and remained there for the rest of the night. Jake tried to talk to him, but the attempt ended in Billy shouting, and the two of them exchanging bitter words that I knew were only fueled by Billy's recent alcohol consumption. It was a side of him I had never seen and I was hopeful to never have to bare witness to it again.

"You should stay with us for a while, dad." Jake soon offered.

"Stop trying to do that!" Billy snapped back at him in reply.

"Do what?" Jake countered.

"Trying to get me out of the house. I'm fine."

"You're far from fine!"

"What makes you the judge of that!" Billy yelled back.

"The look of this place alone tells me how fucking fine you've been this past week!"

"I don't need a lecture!"

"Then don't fucking drink!"

Billy slammed his fist down on the table, glaring back at Jacob as their words grew more heated by the second.

"You don't have the right to judge me! You don't know-"

"I don't know!" Jake bit back, his voice booming with anger. "You're not the only one WHOSE SUFFERING!"

"YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO SAVE HER!"

I dropped the dish in my hand I had been scrubbing when I heard Billy's thoughtless accusation, as it filtered loudly through the house.

Jake went instantly mute as his words, the weight of them heavy and hurtful. I turned to see Jake take a step back from his father with a hurt in his eyes that made my own tears hastily brim.

Billy looked as if he could've been sick when he turned from us and wheeled into his room, slamming his bedroom door with a loud bang behind him. I jumped as the silence settled in over the house. My steps small when I approached Jacob.

"Jake... He didn't-"

"Yes he did."

"He's not himself." I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck, and feeling the slight tremble in his body from the emotion he withheld from showing. "He's angry and drunk... and-"

"Right..." Jake sighed.

"No he isn't, Jacob. He didn't mean a damn word he just said. That's the alcohol talking."

"He blames me."

"If he does... it's unjustified."

Jake pulled away from my embrace and headed for his fathers room. I listened in the kitchen as they continued to fight, feeling helpless when Jake barged out with Billy quick behind him.

"So you're telling me that you won't make an exception for her? To be able to come here... back on the land where she grew up... with her family!"

"It's not that SIMPLE!" Jake shouted back, his anger boiling over. "I have a **responsibility** to the pack... to the people here! I** will not** force them to continue to phase for years to come and that's exactly what will happen if the Cullen's stay in Forks with her!"

"She's your sister!"

"I know that! Trust me... I hate this just as much as you do!"

"How can you be so damn selfish!" Billy shouted back, his tone dark with a hatred I had never heard from him till now.

"Selfish!?" Jacob bit back. "No, dad... what's selfish is cooping yourself up in this house day after day and drowning your fucking sorrows the same way you did when mom died... at the bottom of the fucking bottle... all the while I feel like my insides have been ripped apart. THAT'S SELFISH! You weren't there. YOU DON'T KNOW! I watched it all happen! Saw them change her. Saw what they did to her... what they'd put her through. She was brave... through it all, dad. Just like ... she was when mom died."

I watched Billy's eyes fill with tears, as he snapped his mouth shut with any further icy reply while Jake continued.

"You blame me! You think I don't know that!? I see it written all over your face every time I look at you! You think I could have done more... done something else! Rachel knew the struggle I was facing in that house, dad! She remembered all the stories you told her... when we were kids... and she begged me not to give in to the beast ... begged me not to let it swallow me whole again like that! I wanted to! More than anything I wanted to kill Garrett and Kate for what they'd done! I can't even close my fucking eyes without seeing her face, dad! Without hearing her scream..."

I felt my heart break as Jacobs angry tears spilled down over his cheeks with his words.

"I want her home... I want my sister back... but I can't sacrifice the well being of this land and my pack for it...** and I won't.**.. and if you hate me for that... I'm sorry. I know how much this hurts you... I know how much this would rip mom apart if she were here... I know ... but I feel it... just like you do... and I need you to be here with me through this, dad. Not damn here in this house, pretending as if you can hide away from all of it with the Jack Daniels you've been drinking. Mom would want you present! She wouldn't want you to turn a blind eye and start drinking again the way you did years ago!"

"How do you kn-" Billy quietly asked.

"Because I saw her, dad."

I saw the look of doubt that plagued Billy's features as Jake told him about seeing Sarah when he fought to get his humanity back.

"Saw her..." Billy asked in disbelief, wheeling himself closer to Jacob.

"Yes... She was there with me, dad. When I couldn't get out of that forced submission... She showed me things... Helped me find the strength to get through... to get back on two legs and come home. I wouldn't be here today without her. She was so real, dad. I know it sounds fucking crazy, but it's true. I swear it. I could feel her hand in mine and hear her voice ... it was just as clear as it used to be. She told me she watches over us... all of us, dad ... Still."

Jacobs words were interrupted by the sound of a loud howl that came from the front yard. I ran to the window, seeing Paul emerge from the trees there a few short moments later... and on two legs.

He was in nothing but torn and dirty cut off jeans when he approached Billy's porch, his knees buckling as he reached the second step.

"He's been doing that... every night..." Billy sighed. "I know what it means... I've heard the talk among the people here on the Res. Don't need to leave the house to hear what people gossip about around here... that's what the telephone is for."

Jake went to him before Billy could finish, passing me in a rush to aid Paul. I watched Jake try and help him inside, holding the door open for them as they entered the house.

He struggled to even make it to the kitchen table, where Jake sat him down and asked me to get him something to eat. I rushed to do so, hearing Jacob speak to Paul.

"When did you eat last?"

There was no answer from Paul as Jake handed him a tall glass of water. He stared emptily at the glass, not taking it in his hands to even attempt to re-hydrate.

"Paul, you have to eat and drink something... you can't go on like this."

Again... no reply.

Jacob met my gaze with serious alarm as he tried to talk more sense into him.

"I can't have you patrolling like this, bro. Stay here... with dad and Bella... I'll cover your shift until the morning. You have to keep your strength up."

I quickly kissed Jacob goodbye, as he headed for the woods in a hurry to meet the others.

Paul's expression looked haunted as he stared at the glass of water, his hands clenched into tight fists on the table when I set his rounded plate of food before him. Billy turned himself toward the living room, sitting there in the silence of the night and no doubt reflecting upon what Jacob had just told him about Sarah. I focused my attention on Paul then, whose deep set gaze was truly heartbreaking to see. I proceeded with caution when I sat down at the table, slowly pushing his untouched plate of food toward him and seeing him not even acknowledge it.

I inched my chair closer to him and reached tentatively out for his hand. My fingertips barely grazing his tight fist, before he snapped his head up in my direction. His eyes met mine and the ardent agony in them made my own heart ache for his sadness. I felt him ever so slowly unclench one fist at a time, as I slid my hand in his, pushing the plate of food forward one more time. He didn't budge... he just looked at it... like it revolted him.

"I can make you something else? What would you like?" I offered.

He said nothing to me in reply, but tightened his hand in mine when I tried to get up and fix him something different... something that might appeal to him.

"Please... eat?"

I knew it was a long shot, but continued to try anyway.

"I can make you just about anything you want?" I offered.

His gaze lifted to meet mine once again but he only shook his head to me in reply. I stood and drew closer to him, coming around the back of his chair and wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders.

"You're not alone in this, Paul."

I felt the breath fill his lungs as he tried to speak. "I - am... alone."

His tone was hoarse and his body shook with the effort to speak. I tightened my arms around him in response.

"No you're not. You will never be alone, Paul... You have us... your family."

"I feel like I can't breathe, Bella." He choked out.

I reached for his hand, standing upright and trying to encourage him to do the same. He stood on shaky legs and I embraced him, feeling his arms wrap around me in a tight hug.

"Then we'll just have to help you breathe for a little while." I replied. "I'm not ever gonna pretend to know the kind of pain you're feeling right now, but I can promise you that we will all help you to get through this."

His grip on me tightened and I soon felt the sob that broke through him. His face burying in my hair as he cried. I had never heard or seen him like this and it truly made me wish I could burden some of this torture for him. I felt his pain with every choking sob he let out. It was the kind of forceful cry that left your body aching and your throat raw from the force. My mind ran to a dark place as I held him... my memory pulling forward a time when I had abandoned the closeness I shared with Jacob for Edward... retreating to a place when I had boarded a plane without even looking back, leaving him selfishly behind and to face this kind of soul shredding agony alone.

I cringed at the cruel memory.

I had never seen someone hurt as much as Paul was hurting now, and I tried to keep myself together while I listened to his pain, seeing for myself firsthand what kind of torture I had put Jacob through back then. It made my eyes burn with held back emotion.

Paul's hold on me was desperate as the agony tore through him anew. He fought against it, like he was determined not to let anymore of his pain show. Before long, I felt him release me and step back, his red rimmed eyes roaming over my face as if he didn't know what to do with himself. He looked truly mortified as he headed for the door.

"Paul wait!"

He stopped upon hearing me and lingered there in the open doorway.

"Stay here... with us... get some sleep... please..." I asked, pulling on his arm until he turned back around. I swiftly shut the door and lead him into the living room where he hunkered himself down on Billy's sofa without saying a word. I sat with him and watched him fight sleep, like he were almost afraid of what he would see should he dare close his eyes. After a few more minutes, he finally caved in to the heavy exhaustion and was sound asleep in no time. I laid a small blanket over him and observed his pained expression while he slept. I wanted to help him more than I knew how and the helpless feeling was wearing me out emotionally. My chest was tight with anxious energy as I sat down at the end of the sofa, and waited for Jake to return, knowing he would be out there till the wee hours of the morning, and intensely dreading the remainder of the night without him.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, warm hands were on my arms and a low murmur filled the silence.

"Thank you, Bella."

I was then guided to lay down, as I closed my eyes again upon feeling a blanket come to cover me. My eyes were simply to have to even try to fight sleeps steady pull and though I succumbed to heavy curtain of it, my rest was fitful as the night wore on. Sleeping without Jacob just wasn't truly sleeping to me ... not anymore. I had been spoiled with the luxury of his strong embrace at night and I hated nights like this where it was absent.

When I felt those same strong arms gather me a few hours later, I was certain I was dreaming.

"Don't wake me up." I silently begged my subconscious, as I heard padded footsteps and felt the arms release me, laying me on something softer. I opened my eyes to see Jake stripping down to nothing but boxers. I slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and seeing the rays of moonlight touch his broad shoulders, as he tossed his jeans to the floor. He turned his head my way with a remorseful expression.

"I didn't mean to wake you, honey."

"Did you just get back?" I asked, seeing him nod as he climbed into his old bed with me, the smaller full sized mattress making space limited for us.

"How did it go?" I further hedged, seeing his body tight with familiar tension.

"Nothing new... No sign of her... or the Cullen's." Jake replied, as I laid down with him, placing my head on his chest. "Paul told me what you did for him tonight, Bells. You really helped him... in a way I don't think the pack or I could have. He wanted to be sure I told you thank you. He said you were asleep when he told you himself before he left. He wanted to be sure you got the message, honey."

I smiled against his warm chest as his fingers ran through my hair.

"I'm glad he knows he's not alone..." I replied, my smile leaving me when I thought of what a truly torturous place I had selfishly left Jacob in years ago. I swallowed back the emotion that rose within me, as I silently pondered all the times I had ignorantly chosen Edward and that lifestyle over Jacob and his genuine affections. I was almost certain that if I looked up the word stupid in the dictionary right now, my picture would be there as an example.

I stayed silent for several minutes as my thoughts carried me away to darker places... places of deep regret now.

Jacob's fingers continued to run through my long hair as my heart began to pound from the memories. I felt him still his movements when he heard the change of it's beat. He moved me closer to him, hitching my leg over his and glancing down at me with concern.

"You okay?"

"I was just thinking..."

"About..."

"Paul... and you... and... what a selfish person I was..." I replied, lifting my head to meet his dark gaze. "What I did... leaving you like that... not calling or even-."

Jacob silenced me with soft kiss. His grip on me tightening.

"That was before, Bells... You didn't know-." He sighed, when he withdrew his full lips from mine.

"I knew you loved me. I knew I wanted you... I knew I couldn't marry him... because I was in love with you... and still I left."

"You left for you, Bella... and that wasn't selfish. It was what you needed at the time." He replied, his warm hand grazing down my thigh.

"Seeing Paul tonight... seeing what he's going through... makes me so angry with myself for ever putting you through something like that."

He drew my body further up his, so our faces were mere inches apart. "But you came back, sweetheart... and that's what matters."

I pressed my forehead to his, feeling the intoxicating caress of his warm breath on my lips as he spoke again, his strong hand wandering up underneath my sweater and touching my bare skin. "... and if you hadn't come back... if you'd stayed in Florida with your mom... I would have come looking for you, honey... I would've boarded a plane and showed up on Renee's doorstep one day..."

"You really would have come for me... even though I left the way I did... and hurt you like that?" I asked him in disbelief.

"Absolutely." He whispered, brushing his lips against mine when he spoke. "I would've followed you anywhere, Bells... but you came back to me... and we're exactly where we're meant to be... together. I've known that from the beginning... even when Cullen called you his... in my heart you were mine... and you always will be."

His hand captured mine as I touched his face, marveling at the man before me. His fingers skimmed the ring on my left hand as his dark eyes pierced through me. "I wanna give you my last name, honey..."

I smiled at his words and saw the wide grin that lit up his own face as he kissed me. My hands were in his hair and my body swiftly hauled on top of his before I could even blink. I felt warm hands glide up under the front of my sweater, as his tongue tasted mine. Like an anchor at the bottom of the ocean, I was unable to pull away from him... to resurface... unable to think better of it before his hands roamed over my stomach, his eyes darkening with a lustful hunger that made my insides ache. Erotic need began to thrum through me for him as he sat up and pressed me tighter to him. A soft moan left me when I felt the bulge in his boxers pressing against me. Jake's lips lingered close to mine as he stilled his hands, our breathing already labored when his husky words surrounded me.

"I want you..."

The way he said it... the way his mouth curved around the words, had me eagerly pulling off my sweater. His skilled hands immediately unclasped my bra, pressing my bare breasts to his warm, firm chest. His lips were on mine before a louder gasp could escape me. I felt the wetness pool between my legs as the prominent bulge in his boxers grew impossibly hard beneath me. My hands roamed over his shoulders and back, trailing the pads of my fingers along his sides, and feeling each expansion and collapse of his ribs as he breathed me in. His nose barely brushing the groove of my neck as my hips moved forward.

His grip on me was tight and his kiss became almost desperate as he hurriedly flipped me over beneath him. I could feel my heart beating in my throat, reveling in the scorching heat his skin gave off as his body covered mine. I gasped aloud when his hot mouth found sudden contact with my breast, his tongue circling my sensitive nipple, and causing a loud moan to leave my parted lips. My hips rose up, desperately seeking friction as my skin warmed to his.

"We have to be quiet..." Jacob breathed against my lips. His intense gaze making the ache within me scorch higher.

"I don't know if I can be..."

I saw the sexy and alluring smirk on Jacob's face, as he began to kiss my neck, his tongue trailing slowly down to my abdomen before he stripped me of my jeans. His voice husky with feral lust when he spoke.

"You're so damn beautiful, Bells." He whispered, his fingers now exploring my sensitive flesh as he slowly pulled my lace panties down my thighs. "...and so wet.."

My back arched the moment I felt his tongue sweep over my wet folds, leaving me shuddering with a breathless craving. His satisfied moan making my hips thrust, as the mere sensation of his hot mouth sliding over my sensitive flesh, had my hands gripping his hair and my legs shaking. I tried to contain the moans that left me, but couldn't stop the cry of pleasure that seeped out when Jacob slid two fingers into me and began to stroke the bundle of nerves that made my chest flush with vibrant heated color. I became a panting mess under his tongue as he took me to the pleasurable edge of release and held me there. I felt his tongue leave my sex when I spoke his name in erotic bliss, feeling my pleasure begin to peak.

"Jacob... oh god... don't stop."

I met his gaze in the moonlight, seeing him draw up my body, his dark eyes roaming over my face before intensely holding my stare. I felt my legs tremble all the more when he moaned in response, his lips crashing on mine with a bruising kiss of passion as my orgasm engulfed me. I soon broke our kiss, raking my nails down Jake's toned back and burying my face into his shoulder in an attempt to muffle my cries.

I clung to him as the waves of pleasure mercilessly rocked through me, the intensity of them leaving me breathless beneath him. My hand roamed down between us, cupping his erection as I tried to remove his boxers from him. He pried himself away from me just long enough to take them off. I got up on my knees in the bed, seeing him approach me completely naked with a predatory lust in his gaze. The sight of him had me licking my lips with anticipation. He climbed back on the bed, as I placed both my hands on his chest, silently instructing him to lay down.

I watched with satisfaction as he laid flat on his back, his eyes roaming over my naked body as I hovered above him, placing my knees on either side of his hips. I kissed him with abandon as his strong hands came to grasp my hips, slowly easing me down until I felt the tip of him press into me. My body shuddered as I lowered myself onto him, hearing the choked and carnal dry sob that left me as he deliciously filled me to the hilt.

"Jacob." I spoke his name reverently while his hands stayed idle on my hips, as they began to move... slowly rocking back and forth. The sense of fullness was so intense, that I struggled to remember to hush the sounds of pleasure that escaped me. I watched Jake's eyes close, as a low throaty growl left him when I found my rhythm, rolling my hips while his strong hands securely held me. The sound alone from him, made my body hum with an erotic high. I felt in control... empowered almost... knowing that I could make him lose himself the way he always had done to me.

I felt a shudder roll through his body as he gripped my hips hard, feeling one hand slip away and come up to firmly knead my right breast. His thumb rolling my pert nipple and sending a shock wave of pleasure through me. I was utterly breathless when Jacobs warm hand trailed down the center of my abdomen, reaching in between us, as his thumb came to circle my swollen nub. I threw my head back, picking up my rhythm and hearing his throaty groan in response.

I felt myself begin to fall apart as Jacob continued, matching the rhythm of my hips as they moved. I could not stay silent as the burn within me began to bloom out. I bit my lip, nearly drawing blood there as my heart pounded and my head whirled with the pleasure coursing through me.

I heard his husky whisper as it cut through the noise of our ragged breathing. The very words he spoke enough to be my undoing.

"Bells... Cum for me, honey."

My hands found purchase on his firm chest as I gave in to the carnal need that pulled me under. My pace becoming faster as Jake placed his strong hands securely back on my hips, feeling him go deeper with every rocking motion from me. "I've got you, honey..."

My pulse pounded as my climax then gripped me with a powerful pull, causing me to cry out loudly, as I rode out the waves of it's intensity on top of him, feeling him buried so deep, filling me so completely with every move I made. My legs began to shake and cramp as Jacob abruptly sat up, melding our torsos together as he kissed me and lifted me up, quickly switching positions and placing me beneath him while we remained intimately connected. His hand captured mine, lacing our fingers together when he pressed them above my head. I tightened my legs around him as he swiftly found his own rhythm, his initial thrust shallow and sensual, before creating a pounding pace that made me cling to him in an effort to suffocate the loud cries of undiluted ecstasy that left me. His every thrust, pushing me closer and closer to the edge again. My body being brought repeatedly to the intoxicating brink of erotic bliss with his deep strokes. His lips left mine as his eyes roamed over my face, intently searching my expression in a silent attempt to make sure I felt no discomfort from his pounding rhythm.

Jacob continued to watch me with his dark eyes as I was consumed in our passion, feeling his face nuzzled in the crook of my neck when his body went rigid, his every muscle tight as he began to lose himself in us. I felt his hand tighten in mine as his warm breath touched my neck. I was alight as a raging fire traveled his every thrust, moving hard and fast. I could almost feel the vibration of the low growl that built in his throat, as my body surrendered to him.

I couldn't contain the cries that left me, the intense pleasure, rendering me completely breathless as he poured himself into me with a final thrust. His body tensing as he pulled me flush to him, his chest heaving with ragged breaths. I slid my fingertips down his back, feeling the beads of sweat there as he soon stilled.

We were silent, hearing the quietness of the house and listening further, as the wind whipped around the eaves. I ran my fingers slowly through Jake's hair as he placed his head between my breasts, his breathing still labored while we laid there silently together.

My eyes grew heavy with exhaustion as Jacob kissed me softly on the lips, and laid himself next to me, his arms gathering me with a final whisper before sleep took hold of me.

"I love you, honey."

I was soon startled awake by the sound of Billy's yelling. My eyes shooting open as I sat up in Jake's now empty bed. My hand touched the coolness of the sheets where he had been before, as my eyes squinted to see in the harsh sunlight that was pouring into his room.

"You have no idea what this will do to our family!" Billy yelled.

"I have an obligation-"

"To your own family... to your sister, Jacob!"

"AND TO MY PACK!" Jake yelled back.

I got up and dressed, throwing on my outfit from yesterday and slowly opening his bedroom door.

"If you do this... if you ban her from coming home-." Billy threatened.

"I don't have a fucking choice! I have the council to answer to! It isn't just up to me!"

I entered the room just in time to see Billy throw his coffee cup across the room, hearing it smash against the wall by Jacob. He glared at his father as he clenched his jaw, his eyes coming to meet mine when he heard my soft approaching footsteps. The hurt in his gaze was so prominent that I went to him without hesitation, taking his hand in mine as he apologized for things beyond his control.

"I'm sorry that we woke you up."

The look on Billy's face was as desperate as I'd ever seen it and it made my eyes water when I saw him turn away from us. The divide between the two of them almost palpable. Jacob kept his gaze on his fathers back as he wheeled further away, and I could see his firm swallow as he fought to keep himself in check. He then released my hand, placing a kiss to my forehead.

"I'll be back, Bells." He murmured, before hastily throwing open the front door and slamming it shut. I turned my attention to Billy, feeling the temper rise within me from his harsh words to Jacob.

"Billy..." I yelled after him.

He turned his chair around upon hearing me call out to him, his look brooding when he met my gaze.

"The two of you need each other right now. Please... stop this! Stop pushing those who love you away. There is nothing that Jacob wouldn't do for you... or his sisters... I think you already know that."

"I need him to be my son and not just the Alpha!" He yelled back, jumping me with his dark and angry tone. I didn't allow it to intimidate me, instead I squared my shoulders and met his icy glare.

"He is both. He will always be both! You can't ask him to turn his back on one or ignore the other. It's not fair! Jacob is hurting just like you are. The both of you lost someone... the Rachel that you've both known isn't the same! She never will be and for that I am truly sorry... for the both of you. But that doesn't mean you can't figure out a way to have some kind of interaction with her in the future. I understand it won't be easy, Billy! I know the risks and what it means if she and the Cullen's stay in Forks. She can't reside on this reservation, Billy. She is a huge risk right now. Don't you think this kills him... that banning her from La'Push tears him apart? He's doing what he has to!"

I went silent when I heard a loud crash come from outside... from Jacobs garage. Billy looked toward the door, his eyes truly sorrowful as they lingered there. I went to him, giving him a hug of assurance before putting on my coat and heading outside.

The morning sun was bright but the temperature was frigid as I wandered over to Jake's garage, hearing the thrashing from inside and knowing where he had chosen to vent out his anger. He tore into spare parts with a tangible fury, throwing them and kicking a few spare tires around in his rage. I peeked in, cautiously waiting for him to get his anger out. I watched him throw his wrenches and one of his toolboxes against the far wall as a loud and angry cuss left him.

"FUCK... FUCK!"

I took a few steps closer to the garage when I saw him suddenly still his movements, his gaze wandering over to a picture he had tacked up by his work bench. A picture of him and Rachel Billy had taken before she headed off for College. I had glanced at it myself many times before, and loved to see their wide and genuine smiles. I watched him throw another tool box, the crash of it loud as it made contact with the garage floor. He soon reached for the picture, ripping it off the wall and tossing it down before him. He stared at it as his hands curled forcefully around the warn wooden edge of his workbench. His gaze intensely focused on this picture as he sucked in several deep breaths... The sound of them sharp and shaky. He soon sunk down to the cold cement floor, his breathing now coming out as choked gasps. He let out an anguished scream and it shook me to my very core when I heard it. I went to him, sinking down to his level on the floor, and seeing him place his head in his hands as a strained sob tore out from deep in his throat.

"Oh... Jacob." I whispered, seeing his head lift and his eyes pooling with the raw emotion he tried to contain... The emotion that was surely trying to suffocate him now. It broke me... shattered my very being to see him like this. I drew closer to him, not caring how dirty or cold the garage floor was, as I placed myself in front of him. He fought the emotion as hard as he could, until it overwhelmed him... until it left him visibly shaking from the effort. I took his face in my hands, seeing the tears fall as he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me with desperation in his grip. "I'm here... I'm right here... It's okay."

I knew that in his mind, showing this kind of raw emotion made him weak, but weak was the last thing Jacob was... the last thing he would ever be. I held him, feeling his body shudder with his sobs, as the heavy grief he'd been determined not to show, now fully engulfed him. He tried to speak through his sobs, making his words sound strangled as he forced them out.

"I failed her... I failed her..."

"No... No you didn't, Jacob. You tried ... you tried to save her..."

I held him tighter as another raw sob tore its way from him.

"I watched them... change her... I can see her, Bella... every time I close my eyes... she's there... screaming for me..."

"Jacob..." I whispered, pulling back just enough to recapture his face in my hands and to look deeply into his brown eyes. "Listen to me... you are not to blame here. This is not your fault. Rachel knows that you tried to save her. Don't blame yourself for Garrett and Kate's cruelty. You did everything you could for her."

He held me tightly to him as he continued to fight back the tears. His arms locking around me in a desperate hold.

"I can't destroy my own sister, Bells... I can't... and I fear that's what the council will push for when we meet next week."

"They can't ask you to do such a thing!" I harshly replied, feeling angry at just the thought. It would destroy Jacob... and Billy... possibly even cause their relationship to crumble entirely.

"They will. They won't have mercy on her. Their terms will be plain and unchanging."

"What if Billy went with you next week? Talked to them himself?"

Jacob shook his head as he loosened his grip on me, still keeping me close.

"It won't matter, honey."

I saw the aching dread in his gaze when he met my stare, while I ran my fingers through his thick hair, pulling him into a soft and assuring kiss.

"Whatever happens... whatever they decide, Jacob. I'll be right here... with you."

He sucked in a shaky breath, slowly getting to his feet and reaching for me.

I kissed him again, feeling the tenderness of it as he took my hands, lacing our fingers together.

"I would be lost without you... do you know that? He whispered.

"I know the feeling... and I'm not going anywhere... Ever." I replied, feeling him lead me back toward the house. He paused by the truck and glanced my way with a pleading expression that I could not ignore.

"Can we just go home, honey?" He asked. "I just...-"

"Of course we can." I softly replied, seeing him retrieve the keys from his pocket.

"I'll have Seth and Quil check on dad in a bit. Make sure he's staying away from the bottle... that he's taken care of." He stated in a weary tone, as he started the truck and reached for my hand on his knee.

When we arrived back home, Jake stocked the fireplace with fresh wood and got it blazing, while I go busy making a roast for lunch. He had remained rather silent the rest of the ride home and I swore that I could feel his soul slowly pulling away from mine. The further he retreated into himself, the more watchful and concerned for him I became.

Once I had the roast in the oven and the potatoes on the stove, I went into the living room to see him sitting on the couch and blankly staring into the roaring fireplace. His dark gaze transfixed there until he felt me sit down next to him. My presence seemed to snap him out of whatever kind of deep thoughts he had been lulled into.

"You hungry?" I asked, seeing him nod and glance my way.

"A little."

"Roast should be done in an hour or so... need anything till then?" I asked.

"Just you, sweetheart... just you..." He replied, wrapping a strong arm around me and drawing me into his side, tucking my head under his chin with a heavy sigh.

I had no idea what we were up against when it came to the council, but I knew one thing... I planned on being by his side when they had their meeting next week, so he would know without a doubt that he had my full support. Rachel had been with the Cullen's for a little over a week now and Jacob and Billy were already barely hanging on by threads. I could only hope that the council would see this... understand the situation and make some kind of exception for her. I had every bit of faith in Esme, Rosalie, and Emmet. I knew they could help her control her blood lust with time... how much time though... no one was certain.


	95. Chapter 97

Disclaimer: I do not own any of The Twilight Sage Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters belong to the great Stephanie Meyers and are her sole property alone.

**CHAPTER NINETY - SEVEN**

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

**(JPOV)**

I had no idea why I came here... no fucking clue why I would try to connect with them... They had my sister... But she wasn't _really_ my sister anymore.

I was standing in the darkened forest... In the middle of the damn night... staring ahead to see the loathed Cullen mansion lit up inside with their buzzing activity. I clenched my fists, as I listened to Rosalie carry on about Rachel.

"She's not learning the way she should! I have tried to reason with her but you know as well as I do how irrational she is right now! I had to stop her twice last night. She nearly ripped me apart in the struggle! She is still much stronger than us!"

"Rose, dear... you need to learn the art of patience." Esme calmly stated to her.

"The art of patience!" Rosalie hissed back. "I am done with being patient. We can't keep trying to tame her when she physically fights us every step of the way! It's wearing me down!"

"We have to, Rose." Emmett spoke up in immediate reply. His voice loud now.

"She is our responsibility." Esme sighed. "She cannot be with her family... with Jacob. She is too controlled by her lust for human blood. Her appetite is too great. With more time, she will learn to adapt. It's only been twelve days. We need to give her some more time to cope with this way of living. It's the very least we can do."

"Why does she even want to see him if she knows what could happen?" Rosalie hissed in reply, her tone irritated.

"Rosalie... You yourself know exactly what its like to have that choice made for you. To lose all that you loved about your human and mortal existence. So why is it so hard for you to believe Rachel would feel the same sense of loss and longing for the life she had before." Esme softly explained.

"I do understand, Esme. But I_ cannot_ take another night of her screaming. It is driving me mad!"

"She screams for what she's lost... for what she misses. You yourself I'm sure did the same at one time."

"At one time... yes. But she has to accept this. It is what her life has become. This is what she is now! She can either try to cope or-"

"Rosalie!" Emmet yelled, his tone angry with her in a way I'd never heard. "Have some damn compassion would you!?"

"Emmett's right, Rose. I understand you're weary of this, really I do, but we have to place ourselves in her shoes for a while. Try to be more tolerant of her, would you?"

Rosalie then laughed sarcastically, the sound of it reminding me too much of the same sick laughter that bitch Kate had expressed when Garrett was hauling my sister around like a rag doll in that same cold mansion.

I sucked in a sharp breath and bit back the urge to just fucking scream, as my head filled with the many anguished memories of that time.

"What... you mean be compassionate like Emmett here has been?" Rosalie snapped in accusation.

"Drop it, Rose!" Emmet yelled back to her.

"No!" She countered in a haughty tone. "I will do no such thing, Emmett! You've been up there with her in that room for hours... just about all night... every night! I could kill the both of you for that alone!"

"It's not what you think!" Emmett loudly defended. "She needs someone right now. I'm just being supportive. She can't very well run to the arms of her brother can she?"

I forced down a snarl, as a small heated tremor spread through me in response to his testy words.

No... she fucking couldn't.

"Well if you're so concerned for her then-"

"Enough, Rose!" Emmet yelled with fury, as I came to crouch down by the trees that surrounded their oversized back yard.

I heard a door slam shut with great force just as Rosalie went off on another rant.

"Do you believe this!" She seethed. "He's been in that room with her-"

"Rose, do you really think he would every betray you for another?" Esme calmly retorted.

"I never used to..."

"Don't be ridiculous! Emmett is in love with you. Has been for years and years. The two of you will always belong together. There is no true need for worry. He is only keeping her company."

"I've seen the way he looks at her!" Rosalie bit back. I felt my skin begin to crawl at just the insinuation.

"She is a beautiful woman, Rosalie. But remember ... you were the one who insisted on giving her some of your unworn clothes, and she does look radiant in them, but Emmett is with you. Take some comfort in that and don't allow this kind of petty jealousy to ruin what could be a great alliance with Rachel. After all, she will be with us for a long time, you know. Might as well make the best of it. If you ask me, the two of you have a lot more in common than you think and I'm almost certain you will become fast friends if you just gave her the chance."

"She's not Alice..." Rosalie replied with sadness.

"No... but you could learn to love her in the very same sisterly way. Give it some time."

The chatting between them dissipated as I waited there by the trees, my ears soon picking up on the faint sound of another voice in that hated lair of theirs. A voice unfamiliar yet missed all the damn same.

"Will he hate me... forever?"

"Jacob doesn't hate you, Rachel. The two of you just can't coexist like you once did. Things are different now." Emmet kindly explained, his tone with her endearing even.

"But we could try... I mean... Edward was able to be around Bella without hurting her, right?"

"Edward was selfish for what he did. He manipulated, Bella. I don't think you can apply the same logic to that mess.

"This is worse!" Rachel yelled, her tone taking on a higher pitch of desperation that made my chest ache. "I can't see him... or my father... or go back home. There has to be something we can do? That's why I always try to run... I wanna go back."

"I know you do. But you're nowhere near ready to see him, or Billy. You would never want to unintentionally harm them, Rachel. That kind of regret can consume you. It's better to wait-"

"Will you take me to Jacob? Maybe if we can just see each other... without touching..." She begged, in an anguished tone.

"Rachel..." Emmet warned.

"You don't understand. I don't want to be this. I HATE THIS!" She screamed to him.

The ache in my chest flared when I heard her raw desperation. She truly loathed what she was... I didn't blame her.

"You will learn to adapt, Rachel. It will take some time. We have all been where you are. I went through it... and Rosalie and Esme... It will pass and in time, you'll learn to effectively control your blood lust. Like any skill... it takes diligent practice to master."

The way he spoke to her had me immediately suspicious of his intentions. He was soft spoken with her... too damn soft spoken... like he genuinely cared for her well being... maybe a little too much.

I could feel the heat weave through me as she started screaming at the top of her lungs.

"I CAN'T BE HERE! THIS ISN'T LIVING!"

"If you don't stop this, we will have to leave, Rachel!" Emmett replied in warning to her with a hiss. "Is that what you want?"

Her screaming abruptly stopped as a sickly sweet scent invaded my senses, making my tremors spread through me with a ferocious fire.

"You shouldn't be here."

I turned to see Esme approach me with a weary expression on her normally clam face.

"I know." I replied, walking out around her as the tremors gripped me with immense force.

"Jacob, wait."

I didn't listen to her as I embraced the heat and erupted, replacing my russett skin with thick fur as I phased on the fly and took off for home.

I knew she was following me as her potent and acidic stench lingered in the air, her movements sleek as she tried to advance on me. I was in no fucking mood to play along with whatever game she was starting. I came to an abrupt halt by the river, roaring loudly to her when she flew my way.

She stopped her movements when she heard my fury. He stone hands immediately coming out in front of her as a precaution.

"Jacob... I only wish to speak with you. I need you to be aware of our plan for Rachel."

I snarled as I backed away from her, seeing the remorseful expression on her porcelain face.

"We think it would be best if we took Rachel back to Alaska with us. The more distance between the two of you... the better. I was blinded with naive hope when we first took her in, but I have come to see the mistake of that misplaced hope now. She is a threat to many... and we cannot tame her here. I only wished to inform you of this before we left. I wouldn't want you thinking we had uprooted her without informing you first."

I huffed to her, beginning to pace back and forth in agitation as she continued.

"We need to leave soon, Jacob... very soon."

I thought of my father... of his certain anguish over this, and a whine escaped my muzzle when I glanced her way. They were gonna take her away and I knew the chances of me seeing her gain were small at best.

"I'm very sorry. For all the suffering you and Billy are having to endure right now."

I reigned in the heat that was still flowing through me in waves, as I phased back to human form and locked eyes with her.

"She's suffering... just like we are." I replied, seeing Esme's face awash with shock as she took in my nakedness. She appeared to be truly uncomfortable and I was certain that if the blood in her veins still flowed, she would have blushed eight shades of red by now. I shook my head in bemusement when she turned herself half way around in the other direction, so she would no longer have a birds eye view.

"I believe she will improve her control if we leave. If my suspicions are correct, then maybe...-"

"Don't." I bit back through gritted teeth.

"There might be-"

"Don't even put it out there, Esme. We both know when you leave... that's it. I may never see her again."

"Between the three of us... we have enough strength to control her. You should consider seeing her again before we leave Forks. I know the kind of pain you're feeling. She is your family... like Carlisle was mine."

I clenched my fists at my sides, gnashing my teeth together, as I glanced toward the path that lead back to her lair. My mind went there but my instincts shouted something else.

"Another reason we believe this may be best... is for Bella." Esme then chimed.

I raised my head to see her square her shoulders and turn back to face me with a worry in her golden gaze.

"She's expecting ... " She soon clarified.

Her words hung in the air around me with palpable heaviness when I quickly linked the two.

"Increased blood volume..." I replied to her in recognition. My tone low as I spoke.

"And twice the risk, Jacob."

I glanced back toward the heavily warn path as my head filled with Bella, with the sound of our unborn child's heartbeat. I swallowed back the scream that wanted to leave my throat, as I met Esme's inquisitive amber gaze.

"Leave with her." I harshly stated, forcing out the words I knew would kill my father. "Go... now... and don't come back, Esme."

"Is that an order from you?" She asked, hearing the raw authority in my tone and further questioning it.

"Yes." I firmly replied, turning from her and phasing quickly, as the fire wove itself hastily through me.

I ran full tilt for home... for Bella... craving her mere presence like the very next breath that filled my lungs.

I had a duty to protect what was** mine**... Bella... our child... my pack... my land... my family...

I couldn't have Rachel here, and while my insides were now doused in a torment I would wish upon no one, deep down I knew I had made the right choice to send them away. I didn't want her anywhere near the Reservation... Anywhere near Bella. I couldn't take that kind of risk...** I wouldn't.**

I made it home in record time as early dawn approached, my head filling with the sounds of the two heartbeats that made my world even exist. I would risk their safety and welling being** for no one**.

I came in through the front door, feeling the chill in the house and throwing on some jeans before starting a fire. I had just lit a match and tossed it, seeing the fire begin to slowly come to life, when I heard her faint footsteps approaching. I rose up from my crouched position, and saw her smile light up her beautiful face when her eyes settled on my own.

"How long have you been gone?" Bella asked, as I drew her into my arms on the sofa.

"Not long, honey... but long enough."

"Did you see her?" She asked.

"See her?"

"Rachel? That's where you were, right? At the Cullen's?"

"I was." I admitted, feeling her hand curl around mine.

"So..." She further hedged, skimming her thumb along my palm.

"I sent her away with them, Bells."

Her hand immediately stilled, as she pulled herself up from my embrace to look me square in the eyes.

"You what?" She breathed, her voice full of quavering emotion.

"I sent her... away." I stated again, swallowing hard myself.

"For how long...?"

"For good."

She got to her feet and shook her head in disbelief, as her brown eyes frantically roamed my face in search for more of an explanation there.

"When... wh- when does she leave? I mean... did you at least say g-good - bye to her? See her... before?"

"No." I replied, getting to my feet and seeing the immense panic that rose up within her, making her face instantly flush with heated color.

"No? Wh-what do you mean? You haven't even met with the council yet, Jake?"

"Doesn't matter." I replied sternly to her, feeling the lump in my throat grow and forcing it back down.

She looked at me in true disbelief, as she ran her hands through her long hair. "Why... why doesn't it matter?"

"Because I've already told Esme to take her away with them... I've... ordered them not to return."

She shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears. "I don't unders-"

I went to her, taking her face in my hands as her tears fell. "Bella... There was no other way, honey. She can't control herself... and even if she learned to... there would never be a guarantee that she wouldn't slip up. I had to make sure she wasn't a threat to you... to our baby... and she is now... and she will always be."

I felt the backs of her fingers gently touch my cheek, not realizing till then that I even had tears for her to catch.

"Jacob..."

"You and this baby are my entire world, honey. You're what I live for... what I breathe for... I won't take chances like that with the two of you... It's not worth it."

I watched her face fall, as her eyes lit up with a renewed understanding. "Because of me... of the pregnancy... Oh god... oh god..." She cried, wrapping her arms around me. "You sent her away... I'm- ... I'm so sorry."

I held her close to me, feeling her tiny stature tremble with her words.

"Your protection is everything to me." I replied, kissing her hair and hearing the erratic pounding of her heart.

I inwardly cringed when she suddenly looked up at me with red rimmed eyes. "Wh-what are we going to tell Billy?"

I saw the real worry for him in her gaze and in touched me to know that she was as concerned for him as I was.

"I'm not sure, honey." I admitted, feeling her press herself tightly to me.

I knew what this would do to my father and I hated to even think of what he would say when he learned of my order to Esme, but as I held Bella in my arms, I knew my choice was final and unyielding. I tightened my arms around her, as I intently focused on the sound of that frantic beat that mixed with hers, the beat I had come to love hearing, and I knew in that moment that I meant my every word to the Cullen's. My command had been abrupt, but needed... There was no safe way around it.

I had made the right decision... I had done what I had to do.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please feel free to review! Let me know what you think. I look forward to each of them. :-)**


	96. Chapter 98

**A/N: I hope you all enjoy this chapter from Paul's point of view. He deserves a voice, too! Thank you all for your support &amp; HAPPY READING! :-) **

**CHAPTER NINETY - EIGHT**

_Six months later..._

**(PPOV)**

I took hold of the half empty eighty proof vodka and chugged, feeling it slide greedily down my throat with a burn. I knew my body would hardly even feel the affects of it, but I had to try anyway. I was desperate to make the mind numbing pain stop. I felt devoid of all emotion... other than one... anger. Hot anger. The kind that left you feeling as if you were nothing more than ashes in it's wake. It had been _six_ fucking months since I'd imprinted on Rachel Black... six fucked up months full of my own personal hell. There were days I swore I wanted to end it all just to make the never ceasing internal torment go away.

I spent my days running through the woods in wolf form... patrolling every chance I got... and often eating in the raw. My moods had become so bad that my mother and I fought constantly at home, so I moved out and rented a smaller cabin on the outskirts of the Reservation. It was tiny, remote, affordable for me, and the location was ideal. It wasn't surrounded by a bunch of other houses, instead it was more tucked into the forest where I truly felt the most at peace. I took comfort in that and snatched it up before anyone else could. I didn't reside there much... maybe three nights a week at best... I found that I did better out on patrol runs with the others than by myself at night. Those times were the hardest. When the sun would go down and I returned home to be alone with myself and my thoughts. I had hidden the alcohol from most, but Bella knew what I was doing and she told me in no uncertain terms that if I got carried away with it, she would be the first to tell Jacob and he would pull the kind of Alpha rank I fucking hated.

It was weeks and weeks before I could stop running back to Billy's front porch after my patrol shifts had ended at night. For the longest time, I would be pulled there with a magnetic force beyond my human control alone, and I would hunker down by his doorstep and howl for hours. Billy would hear me and I would see the lights turn on in his house as he wheeled himself to the front door, asking me to come in and talk with him for a while. Most of the time, I would phase back to human form and do just that, other times, I would be too inundated with pain to even try to have any kind of conversation with him. On those nights, he would understand and leave the door unlocked for me just in case. He would express to me his remorse over my anguish, and even as he said this to me, I could plainly see his own misery. He was never one to hide his afflictions well and it was a torment to see him like that.

In the time since Rachel had left for Alaska with the Cullen's, there had been no new trails to follow, no new leads to track, leaving our land clear of any threat. The pack had grown stronger, both in knowledge, and in numbers. We had two new wolves recently join and training them was something else I used to keep myself busy. They were Brady and Collin's younger cousins, and all but 14 when the fever set in for them three months ago. They were still shaky with transition, and adjusting to pack life at their young age was proving to be taxing on everyone. Jacob was confident he would be able to help them through, to aid them in this adjustment and I shared his confidence.

When I was forced to slow down and take a night off under Jacob's order, I was surprised to find that Bella had become someone I relied on... someone I tended to want to be around consistently, in one form or another, so the raw anguish would subside a bit... if only for a little while. For some reason, being around her had a calming effect on me. I didn't know why or what kind of logic there was behind it, I just knew that when I was at my worst, she was the face I saw and the comfort I sought after. We had formed a close, and unlikely bond over the last six months, and I was grateful for her. She stopped in just about every evening I was at the cabin, and would bring me rounded plates of food to tie me over. She always made extra just for me, and it puzzled me how she had continued to do this so regularly.

At first, I had been the one to go over to their house and eat dinner with them, but after a few weeks, I couldn't stand to watch the two of them so happy together... it ripped me up in a whole new way to witness the way Jacob would move every time she did... to see how she cared for him... how much they loved one another... One soul dwelling in two bodies... the way it was meant to be. I never told them this, but just stopped showing up for meals altogether, and within a week, Bella had come to my front door.

She was starting to show more and more and I had noticed how she had traded in wearing her jeans for something more comfortable ... yoga pants. Her tiny frame was filling out with the pregnancy and to be truthful... I thought she looked healthier than she ever had. She was always smiling a huge glowing grin, and the sight of it would almost immediately make me grin back, even if my insides felt like they had been shredded, I would force one back to her. I never would've thought that she and I would come to be so close, but it turned out that she was the breath of fresh air I needed every now and then. In her own unique way, she kept me grounded most of the time. However tonight, I felt like nothing could fix the lingering ache in my bones... the ache for a woman I would never have for my own... for a woman who was now my sworn enemy... the one thing I was made to destroy and protect others from.

I cursed aloud and took another mouthful of the rancid tasting poison that coated my throat with a sweltering fire on the way down.

"Imprinting... what a fucking joke!" I yelled angrily, slamming my fist into the wall, before pulling back to see the blood trickle down over my large knuckles, as I removed my hand from the large hole I had just made.

Great... the landlord would be absolutely fucking thrilled to see that shit next month.

I hung my head to see the blood dripping on the warn wooden floor, as I finished the bottle of eighty proof and threw it across the room. It smashed into a hundred tiny pieces as a soft knock came to my front door. I ran my hands through my hair, dragging myself over to peek out the window, and seeing the familiar truck now parked behind my car in the yard.

"Just a minute..." I grumbled, knowing what her reaction would be if she saw the mess in here.

"Paul?" Bella called softly from the other side of the door. "Are you alright?"

"Uh... y-yeah... J-just... dropped something... be right there." I replied, quickly pulling out the broom from the hall closet and sweeping up the many shards of glass. I dumped them in the trash and hurried to let her in, seeing her arms full of food when I opened the front door wide for her, and gesturing with a sheepish look of guilt for her to come in.

"What happened?" She soon exclaimed, practically dropping the food, as she rushed over the threshold to take a look at my hand which was covered in dried blood.

Shit...

"I... just... hurt it out on patrol run this morning. No big deal."

She took my hand and glanced up at me with an expression that told me she didn't buy my line of bullshit for one damn minute.

She pulled me toward the sink and turned on the warm water. "You know just because you're a wolf and you heal fast, doesn't mean that you can't get an infection of some sorts. You should clean this better." She softly sighed, grabbing the soap and a hand towel, as her gaze flickered to mine. "Hold still..."

Her touch was gentle and her concern evident when she went to work washing my bloody hand.

I glanced over to the wall, hoping she wouldn't notice and seeing her hand me the towel, before placing the food on the table.

"I brought you steak tonight... and there's green bean casserole, and potato too. It's what we had with Charlie and Billy tonight for dinner."

"How is Billy?" I asked, seeing her color pale as I said his name.

"He's... surviving... but he and Jacob are far from okay."

"I still can't believe Sam told him the truth about Jacob ordering them away like that. He should of asked Jake first."

"Sam told him out of concern. He thought if Jacob and his father could be truly honest with one another, then they'd repair the relationship better. He was doing something with good intention."

"Sure as hell didn't turn out the way he intended." I replied, tossing the towel in the sink and sitting down at the table. Bella instantly covered her mouth, sucking in a sharp breath and glancing around the room.

"What have you been drinking, Paul? Oh my word..." She nearly gagged. "It smells... awful."

"I'm sorry." I replied, throwing open the kitchen window to air out the potency a bit. The breeze was refreshing and with Summer fast approaching, I could nearly smell the new life growing in the forest... new flowers and new grass... pollen heavy in the air. As if hearing my thoughts upon the seasons changing, Bella sneezed and then cursed. Something I rarely heard her do. I couldn't help but almost chuckle at the sound of it.

"Stupid damn allergies. I hate pollen!" She griped, placing a plate of food in the microwave and digging out silverware from the small drawer behind her.

I saw her pull another plate from the bag she had carried in and place the silverware on the table.

"Is that yours?" I asked, as she removed the tin foil from the dish, hearing the loud ding from the microwave.

"Yeah."

"You haven't eaten yet? It's almost eight - thirty at night? Didn't you eat at your house?"

"No..." She shook her head, switching out the plates from the microwave and heating hers up.

"Why?"

"I figured we could eat together tonight? Instead of me just sitting and watching you eat. That's got to be unnerving for you. So... I ate a small plate at home with everyone, and packed a larger plate to eat here with you. Is that okay?"

I nodded to her in reply, plopping myself down in an empty chair, as she placed the plate in front of me with a knife and a fork in her hand. I watched the jagged end of the knife inch dangerously close to her arm, while she tried to balance the rounded plate of food and a soda. I got to my feet, and grabbed the knife away from her, as she neared the table, her eyes wide in alarm from my sudden and jerky reaction.

"Give me that... before you hurt yourself, Bella." I insisted.

"I'm not a complete klutz all the time, you know?" She quietly defended herself. I heard the hurt in her words, and tried to recant on the harshness of my tone with her.

"That's not ... what I was-... well the knife ... was too close to your... forearm. I wasn't- I mean... it's not like you're exactly known for grace, Bella." I hesitantly replied, fumbling around for the right words like a fool, and pausing when I looked up from my plate to see her eyes glisten. I mentally kicked myself in the ass for my lame attempt at a joke with her.

Good going... you really fucked it up now you big mouthed idiot... Your Alpha will be impressed to know you made his soon to be wife cry!

"Bella I..." I tried to explain, feeling like the worlds largest jackass as she waved at me dismissively.

"It's just hormones... Not you, Paul." She reassured me, blinking away her emotion and shoveling in a mouthful of potato.

"You had me thinking I was in deep shit! Jacob would tear me a new one if he thought I'd said something to offend you." I replied, taking notice of her eagerly cutting into her well done steak.

She really was still hungry and I couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm over the warm plate in front of her.

"I know..." She soon sighed with a roll of her brown eyes. "I've packed on almost fifteen pounds!"

I chuckled and shook my head to her. "So?"

"Well... I'm only barely pushing the six month mark... Doctor said at my last appointment that she wouldn't be surprised if I doubled that before thirty - nine weeks."

"And..." I hedged, adding a healthy amount of butter to the rest of the mashed potatoes on her plate with a grin.

"And... I'll be ... huge by the time I actually have him or her!"

"Still haven't decided if you wanna know yet?"

"I think we could all use a_ nice surprise_ around here... so I'd like to wait. Jake on the other hand keeps insisting lately that we should find out, so we can paint the nursery the right color. I finally talked him into settling for a neutral cream color last week... He was less than thrilled." She laughed.

"You know... there's nothing wrong with packing on some weight with this baby, right? You're carrying a whole life inside of you... I say that gives you the right to eat whatever the hell you want and then some!"

She smiled and I saw the enriched rose color seep into her snow white cheeks, as I cut into my steak and took a hardy bite.

We ate the rest of the meal together in contented silence and it put the raw ache in my bones at rest for a while.

After dinner, she got busy doing the dishes and I reminded her, like I always did, that she had no obligation to do them for me. She, much the same as the dozens of times before, smiled graciously and poured the cap full of Ajax in the sink anyway. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a beer from the fridge, seeing her watch me when I popped the top. Her concern was touching and I couldn't ignore it. Not after all she'd done for me.

"I'm trying, Bella... trying to keep my damn promise. Some days are harder than others, you know?"

"I know... that's why I haven't mentioned it to Jacob, yet. But you damn well know I will... if you don't keep trying."

"I know you will and I wouldn't expect any less from you, Bella. Just not who you are."

I retreated to the living room, turning on the television and flipping through the many annoying infomercials.

Try this new line... or that new product! We guarantee you'll love it or your money back!

Such fucking complete bullshit if you asked me.

After searching through all two hundred plus channels, I settled on a fishing show and sunk further down into the couch, hearing Bella as she put away the dishes and wiped down the table. The sound of the metal chair legs scrapping loudly across the warn wood of the kitchen floor while she pushed them in.

I let out a deep sigh, instinctively balling my limp hands into tight fists, while I waited for her to come in and say good bye the same way she always did after dinner. I closed my eyes and waited to hear her footsteps, feeling the sheer panic already fill my body at her departure... for I knew exactly what deep fucking ocean of torment awaited me once she closed the door and sped away, and I was in no hurry to welcome it back again tonight.

I heard her dreaded familiar padded footfalls on the carpet as she entered the living room with a heavy sigh. My eyes slowly opened to glance her way with the same forced half a smile I had dawned just for her each time she left.

"Do you mind if I stay and watch something with you? Jacob is out on patrol till dawn. House is too silent without him."

I sat up on the couch, seeing her observant gaze wander over my face while she patiently awaited my answer.

"Sure." I replied, eagerly grasping at the opportunity to keep the sea of lingering torment away.

"Okay." She grinned, sitting down on the couch next to me.

The sun had long since set and the chill from the open window in the kitchen, now filled the small confines of my cabin. She shivered, tucking her hands further into her red sweatshirt, as she watched the fisherman on TV reel in a big bass. I got up and shut the window, grabbing a blanket from my room and offering it to her.

"Here, Bella."

"Thanks." She replied, hastily taking it from me and wrapping it around her.

We didn't say much of anything to each other as the night wore on. We simply sat in contented silence and I had to admit that just having her here was a great comfort to me. As the hours passed by, I found myself getting tired, and was too preoccupied with the new movie that had come on to notice that Bella had fallen fast asleep at the other end of the couch. I turned the TV down, glancing at my watch and seeing the time was close to eleven - thirty. I reached over and tucked the blanket in around her, as I searched the living room for my cell phone.

Jacob would no doubt lose his fucking mind if he got back from his patrol run to find her missing. I searched until I found it laying on top of the heaped mess that was my bed. I dialed his number and left him a voicemail, telling him she'd fallen asleep here. Things with Jacob and I had been tense since Rachel, and I knew I had brought a lot of that on myself... mainly starting when I punched him in the face right after I got word he had sent his sister away with the Cullen's to be in Alaska... so far from here... so far from me. He didn't fight back and the scuffle between us was over before it had even really started. He only squared his shoulders and met my livid gaze with one of true understanding. It left me stunned... I had expected him to give it back to me, even going so far as yelling for him to fight back repeatedly, but he didn't and it only made me angrier at the time. Now, that I had seen what he was truly doing, offering me a physical outlet to match with the pain running through me, a person to take my anger out on, I understood. He hadn't fought me back with anger cause he knew I needed it, and I harbored no bitterness toward him for it ... only immense respect.

Jacob had made a choice that he himself struggled with daily. I would hear through our linked minds, how much he missed his sister and how agonizing the whole mess had been on Billy. Their relationship had been a war zone since Billy had learned the truth about Jacobs order from Sam. The fight that ensued thereafter was ugly and we were all there to witness it go down. Billy was enraged with Jacob and wouldn't even allow him the chance to explain. Jake had asked me to take Bella home before things got worse and it did... quickly.

As I was pulling away with Bella in the passenger seat of my car, I looked in the rear view mirror to see Billy irate and screaming at Jacob. His words vile and ugly when he spoke them.

"**I can't believe you would do something like this! Without even asking me ... or telling me! How damn thoughtless are you?!"**

"I made the choice that was best-"

"FOR YOURSELF!"

"**FOR EVERYONE!**"

I hit the gas and sped away as the shouting grew between them. I remember seeing the rest of the pack just standing there, all of them looking like deer caught in headlights, and noting their faces were expressionless while the heated words between them echoed off behind us.

That was months ago now, and I could still see the tension between them whenever they were in the same damn room. The tension was uncomfortable and it made those of us in the pack real edgy. We felt everything Jacob did and it had taken its heady toll over time.

My phone suddenly buzzed in my hand, tearing me away from my thoughts when I answered it.

"Hey bro... Sorry to interrupt, I know you're on a run with the others."

"It's fine. I got your message about Bella. Sorry she crashed there. She hasn't been sleeping well lately. Does she seem alright?"

"It's no big deal. Just didn't want you to worry when you got home."

"... and I would have. Thanks for letting me know. I'll check back in with you in a bit?"

"Sure thing, Jacob."

I ended the call and glanced over to see the peacefulness on Bella's face while she slept and I truly envied her...

What I wouldn't give for sleep like that right about now. I hadn't had a full nights rest in months. The moment my eyes closed and darkness enshrouded me, my personal hell would take on new life and leave me restless for hours. Most of the time, I watched movies or something on TV until early morning and would only get a few short minutes of sleep, before heading out for another patrol shift. This made the feeling of exhaustion frequent and daunting, but I pushed through it. This routine had become my way of survival and I planned to stick to it for as long as I could.

It was approaching two - thirty in the morning when I was too tired to watch anything else and headed for my room. I turned off all the lights in the house, except the small lamp on an end table next to Bella in the living room, and locked the door. I stole a final glance her way before shutting my bedroom door and collapsing from overwhelming exhaustion down on my messy bed. I was out before my head even hit the pillow and for the first time in months, I didn't wake up an hour later in a wash of sweat and screaming Rachel's name at the top of my lungs. I managed to sleep through the remainder of the night and I knew who I had to thank for the needed rest.

I owed Bella... for the friend that she had become to me... and for much more.


	97. Chapter 99

**CHAPTER NINETY - NINE**

**(BPOV)**

The last six months had been a real whirlwind and I had the growing baby bump to prove it. I was thankfully over the morning sickness phase of the pregnancy and had since moved into the mood swing phase of it. I would go from laughing to crying in the snap of a finger and not even know why. It drove me crazy! The smallest of things would make me frustrated and I was more sensitive than ever. My appetite was all over the place and the cravings were insane. I had sent poor Jake out for Ben &amp; Jerry's triple brownie ice cream more times this trimester than I could count. He had since stocked our freezer with plentiful supply of every flavor of ice cream imaginable, just in case I got one of my cravings at two in the morning, which I did often.

I was constantly thirsty... or cold one minute and then the next minute, I would be sweltering hot and stripping down to practically nothing. Jacob never minded this change in me, of course, and there were times I swore that he kept the house hotter than normal just to see me strip. I had caught his prying eyes on me more than just few times when I was too warm to stay in my clothes, and the sexy smirk on his handsome face that immediately followed, all but gave him away.

That was another thing that had changed drastically ... my sex drive. I found myself wanting him all the time... day or night... shower or tub... bed or couch... living room floor... I didn't care and Jacob had been_ all too eager_ to fill this need for me ..._ every chance he got._ I had recently discovered that he would even purposefully wait to get up in the morning until he heard me turn on the shower, and then I would feel his body pressed up against mine, as the hot water poured over us. His strong hands spanning my Belly with his whispered words of affection. That's all it would take and I was complete putty.

Needless to say, aside from this particular perk of the pregnancy, I was eager to start feeling more like myself again soon.

When Jacob wasn't with me, he had been fully engrossed in pack maintenance, especially with the two new additions, Zack and Nathan, who had joined the pack a few short months ago, and at the impressionable age of just fourteen. Jacob was determined to train them properly, and had expressed to me how young they were, and how much that alone concerned him. The fact that they had phased in_ at all_ left him very unsettled, as there was no new threat close by and hadn't been since Rachel had left Forks with the Cullen's months ago.

The young boys were a bit clumsy and impulsive, causing Jacobs patience for it to wear thin rapidly. I believed a lot of his temperament had to do with the near constant conflict between him and Billy. The deterioration of their relationship had been so hard to see... everyone was witness to it these days and everyone felt it when anywhere near them. You could always sense that there were words _just waiting_ to be spoken... or shouted... on the very tip of both of their tongues, and it made most of the gatherings at Sam and Emily's, rather uncomfortable.

Just last week, Jacob had skipped out on one of Emily's home cooked dinners with the pack, so he could avoid the tension with Billy, and while it broke my heart to see it, I couldn't hold it against him for not wanting to go. Billy had a way of being_ outright cruel_ to Jacob whenever he had knocked a few back. He would barely speak up at all until the time came when he had something arrogant to say about the hardship with Rachel. Sam would call Billy out on his blatant arrogance and defend Jacob's decision, which would only further infuriate Billy.

Charlie was usually the peace maker in these times, and he would try to change the subject, or deescalate the argument, and then take Billy home. Most of the time it worked and other times, Billy would piss Jacob off to the point where he just had to get out of their house for fear of phasing right then and there. I knew where Billy's hurt came from, but I was beginning to become angry with him for some of his irate outbursts at Jacob. It had been torturous for all of us to see them unraveling over these last six months, but I was the one who saw Jacob's hurt over it the most. I was the one who would hear him pace the floors at night when he couldn't sleep, when his mind wouldn't allow him to. I was the one he would wake up in a panic with whenever his nightmares about Rachel would return, and the added arguing with his father, wasn't helping any of this.

Even though Billy was being intolerable most days, Jacob would still stop by his fathers house and check in on him before he came home to me.

He did this faithfully... every night... without fail... and it only served as a good reminder for me... the reminder of the great man he was... the kind of great man I loved.

I feared that if the two of them didn't find a way to work through all this and soon, they would be damaged beyond repair. Emily and I had tried countless times to bridge the gap between them and at one point of desperation, I had reached for my cell and pulled up Rachel's contact information, my thumb lingering close to the call button as I stared hard at the number. Before I had time to really make a decision, Jacob had come back home from a pack meeting and I pushed the thought of calling her far away from my mind.

I wanted to know how she was and I had heard Jacob verbalize the same thing during one of the many long nights he couldn't sleep.

I was constantly fighting the urge to call Esme... almost on a daily basis. A small part of me still clung to the hope that Rachel would have her immense blood lust under control now. After all these months... the hope seemed to remain and I knew that deep down, buried under all that tension, Jacob held out the same kind of hope for her. I still had faith in Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett, knowing their unique and skilled abilities and thinking that maybe Rachel would even be able to return to her family here.

I kept this blind faith to myself and chose to only voice this to Charlie. He told me not to be such an eternal optimist in times like these, and that it would only cause more disappointment all around in the end. He then added that Billy was tapped out in the agony department already, so I kept this fleeting hope close to me and no one else. I kept my fathers wise words in mind as I made my way over to Paul's for the second time this week, hauling along adequate platefuls of food for him as I went.

Paul had moved out of his moms place a few months back, and rented a small cabin that was rather secluded from the rest of the Reservation. I hated to see him withdraw so far into himself all the time, and while I had noticed his overall mood had improved in the past few weeks, I also took notice of how he sought his solace at night... at the bottom of the bottle... trying to drown Rachel's memory with every long swig he took. His numbing liquid of choice was the hard stuff... vodka... and he knew my strong disapproval of it. I couldn't blame him for wanting to numb the pain... it had been a real blow of cruelty for him... to have his imprint for mere hours and then have her so brutally taken from him the way she was.

I was worried for him all the more when he had abruptly stopped coming over to our house for dinner. His absence certainly noticed when we gathered around the dinner table. I decided then and there to take matters into my own hands and bring the dinners to him. I physically hurt for him when I saw the ghosted expression he wore the very first time I brought him over a rounded plate of food. My unannounced appearance had surprised him, and I could smell the booze on him, as he stepped aside and wordlessly gestured with a wave of his arm for me to come inside.

At first, he barely spoke a word... only nodded to me in acknowledgment and ate his food in silence at the table. I would simply watch him and try to pull at least half a smile from him before I left, but it took great effort to do so, and wasn't always successful. As time went on, and I continued this pattern with him, he slowly but surely began to talk to me. His words few and far between early on and progressing at a damn crawl... but getting better nonetheless.

That was weeks and weeks ago...

We had now gone from subtle nods and glances, to words and small talk around the table, to even small embraces, before I left him to return back home after his dinner. It had taken weeks and weeks, but I considered this real progress with him, and took it with a grateful heart and a hopeful spirit. He needed someone besides his pack family to talk to and I figured little old me was better than no one.

The first time I saw Paul genuinely smile at me when he opened his front door to let me in, was nearly a month ago, and it made my eyes instantly pool with happy tears. The small gesture had sparked a real hope in me that maybe... just damn maybe... things would be okay for him after all.

We soon shared jokes and he even talked about pack stuff with me... sharing his worries over the new kids that had joined them in the very same way Jacob had expressed his own concern. I could have sat and listened to him talk about whatever was on his mind for hours. I didn't care what the topic of discussion was, as long as he was talking and having some kind of real communication, I was more than fine with_ just listening._

We had become a lot closer than I ever expected us to be, and in many ways, I sincerely considered him to be the kind of brother I never had. He was important to me and his well being mattered. He would show the same kind of care and concern for me, asking me how I was feeling, or inquiring about how my last prenatal appointment had gone. It made me smile wide to hear him ask these things, and to see the small bits of enthusiasm he showed when we talked about my growing belly. His light hearted humor made me think he was starting to finally return to his old self again. I could only cross my fingers that this was true.

I hadn't expected to fall asleep the way I did after our dinner tonight and when I opened my eyes to behold nothing but his empty living room, I nearly panicked.

"Oh shit..." I gasped, getting to my feet and feeling my head spin from the quick movement.

I heard the creak of Paul's bedroom door as it opened when he stepped out. His look appearing to be almost amused when he saw me frantically searching for my truck keys.

"What time is it?" I asked, still searching.

"Four in the morning."

"WHAT!" I breathed, nervously running my hands through my hair.

Paul chuckled and nodded toward the kitchen, where my keys were resting on the counter. "I called him for you, Bella. Jacob knows you fell asleep here. He said to let you rest. It's okay... really."

I let out the breath I had been holding and sunk back down into the couch cushions, as the pumping adrenaline left my body.

"He would have been so worried-"

"I figured as much. That's why I called." He replied, sitting next to me with a wink.

"I owe you."

"No..." He sighed. "I owe you... for... all you've done."

I heard how genuine his voice sounded and raised my head to see his eyes meet mine.

"You saved my life, Paul... I wouldn't even be here without you... So the way I see it... this makes us even!"

He shook his head in reply, placing my feet in his lap. "I don't know a whole lot of people like you..."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked with a small laugh.

"No.. not at all." He chuckled. "I never would've thought we'd be... this close."

"I know!" I laughed, seeing the bemusement now on his face.

"Well... to be fair... you did slap me once!"

"I did... and you so deserved it!"

He chuckled harder and rolled his eyes. "I was a bit of an-"

"ASS!" I countered with heavy sarcasm.

"Hey now!"

"Well... if the shoe fits!" I laughed.

"Okay, Okay... so maybe I was a bit cocky..."

"... and pompous, and snarky and -"

"Alright, Alright!" He laughed, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "You've made yourself clear."

"...But I know you better now... The real you..."

He turned his head my way again upon hearing this with an inquisitive gaze.

"The real me?"

"There's a lot more to you than meets the eye. People just need to dig deep enough to see it."

His smirk faded and I felt my mouth nearly snap shut in reply, as regret washed over me upon seeing the change in him.

"Paul, I didn't mean-"

"You're the first person who has ever done that for me, you know? I've always been kind of a temperamental jerk who couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. I could've really hurt you that day... years ago... in Jake's back yard."

"But you didn't." I asserted, leaning forward and assuredly touching his arm.

"But I could have." He replied, with a deep sense of remorse.

"That was years ago. I don't hold that against you. Not in the least. I think it's great we're close. To be honest... you're kinda like the brother I never had, Paul."

His grin was wide when he heard this and I eagerly returned it.

"Well... you are marrying my brother... my pack brother... My Alpha."

"Someday..." I replied, resting my hand on my rounded belly.

"Have you two talked dates yet for that big day?"

"A few times... we've been thinking of having a small wedding... nothing big and fancy."

"Like it would've been with that fucking bloodsucker, Edward ... when you almost married him?" He joked, with a small snarl escaping him.

"Definitely not."

"I'm happy for the two of you." He replied, his face falling a bit.

I sat up, scooting myself closer to him with a worried glance.

"You'll be happy again, too... I know you will, Paul." I assured him.

I saw him firmly swallow and reach for my hand. "I don't wanna count on that... or anything else, Bella."

"I know..." I replied, placing my head on his shoulder. "One day at a time, Paul... right?"

"Yeah, Bella... One day at a time. Sometimes I wonder what she's doing or if she's..." He paused, shaking the thought from him, as he rose up from the couch and headed for the window.

I followed him, wanting to hear the rest of his interrupted thought. "If she's... what?"

"... Better..." He sighed, running his hands over his face in agitation. "Fucking stupid, right?"

"No, it's not." I replied, standing next to him and gazing out into the darkness. "It's not stupid at all... I wonder the same thing."

"You do?" He replied, turning to face me.

"Yes... I ponder it often... I've even thought about calling her..."

Paul's eyes widened in shock, as he took a step back from me. "You haven't tho, right?"

I could hear the panic in his voice, while I walked out around him. "No... but... It doesn't mean that I won't."

"Bella!?" Paul harshly breathed, stepping in front of me with alarm clearly etched in his features, his hands coming to grip my shoulders.

"I know I shouldn't, but-"

"You can't... " He firmly insisted.

I looked him square in the eyes and saw the longing there, even now as he_ vehemently_ protested it.

"Can you really tell me you think this is the best solution for everything? To never speak to her again? Billy is... only half the man he used to be these days and Jacob is struggling to even sleep through the night. I understand that she's not the same... that she's one of the cold ones now... and that she's a risk... but there's no reason we can't at least call her and see for ourselves how she is. Maybe talk to Esme or Rosalie... ask them what they think? If she's more in control now?"

Paul released his grip on me, standing back and staring at me with profound vacancy... like he didn't know what the hell he was supposed to say.

"There's no harm in_ at least_ getting in touch with her." I sighed, glancing toward my cell phone on the kitchen table. "At least then we'd know."

He was still mute, as I wandered over to the table and retrieved my cell. My heart already hammering away, as I scrolled though my many contacts and found Rachel's old cell number.

"It might not even work, Paul." I whispered, seeing him staring at my hand as I silently debated on sending the call through. "She could have disconnected it... long ago... for a precautionary measure."

"Or it could still work... and... she could answer."

I met his gaze and could plainly see the prominent curiosity that lingered there.

"Maybe..."

He reached out and took the phone from my hand suddenly, seeing Rachel's picture under her contact info, and skimming his thumb over it with a look of longing on his face.

"You should call Esme, first... It's safer... all around." He sighed, handing my cell back to me and turning away, like he didn't want to bare witness to what I was about to do.

"You're right. It would probably be better to try her first." I agreed, finding Esme's number and hitting the send button, before I could second guess myself any further.

One ring... Two ring... Three ring... Four ring...

"... Hello ..."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Tell me what you guys think... Should Bella have called Esme? I look forward to your reviews! :-) xoxo**


	98. Chapter 100

**A/N: So a few of you have been asking to hear from Rachel, lately :) I'm pleased to tell you that tonight's update is done purely from Rachel's point of view! I hope you enjoy. Look for another chapter update this evening! Already working on it. I look forward to your thoughts and reviews! HAPPY READING! xoxo **

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED**

**(RPOV)**

My eyes saw everything... every speck of falling dust in the air around me... every small movement. My ears heard each and every sound... every faint footstep ... every car on the highway... the thrum of blood running through human veins.

I hungered for it's rustic warmth... lusted for it every minute... craved it's unique and inviting smell to overwhelm my senses.

It was maddening for me at first. I felt like I was going bat shit crazy and the person staring back at me in the mirror each morning, looked like a complete stranger. Her beauty shocked me at times and when Rosalie gave me some of her unworn clothes, I couldn't help the wide eyed expression on my face when I caught a glimpse of the outrageous price tags on them.

"This top is over $300!" I exclaimed to her.

"It will look wonderful on you. Besides, aren't you tired of living in the same old thing all the time?"

I shrugged, idly fiddling with the ends of my ink black hair that Rosalie had curled around my face in lose waves.

"I say it's time to embrace the new you, Rachel! You're stunning!"

I remained silent as I sat down on the bed, and began pawing through the many outfits she had offered me.

"Just try some of these on and pick what you like the best. You're welcome to whatever."

I ran my hands over the fine silk of one of her new blouses, thinking of how I had never had the finer privilege of enjoying a wardrobe so damn ritzy. I was convinced that I wouldn't even look good in the expensive material, but when I tried the clothes on, I had come to discover that I had been wrong. The champagne colored silk top hugged my slender figure and the dark denim jeans were just the right size. I looked into the full length mirror, as Rosalie clapped her hands in delight, while holding out a pair of high heels for me. I shook my head in strong protest to her, seeing the height of them.

"I can't pull those off."

"Sure you can." She smiled, kneeling down and slipping the shoe on in Cinderella fashion. "You have lusciously long legs, Rachel. You were made for heels like these."

I had to admit that she had a point. My reflection made me do another double take. The woman in this full length mirror was still completely foreign to me. Her skin was flawless and her smile, bright and down right alluring. Rosalie had done my makeup, accentuating my eyes and long lashes with a few coats of mascara and covering my lips in a rich maroon gloss.

"This isn't real."

"It is real. This is who you are now, Rachel and I believe you're stunning! If I do say so myself!" She chimed, lightly misting a perfume on my inner wrist and hanging up the rest of the clothes. "You can try the rest of these on later."

I nodded, unable to flinch when Esme and Emmett came strolling in.

"Wow." Emmet huffed. "You look... great."

"Yes... you certainly do, Rachel." Esme added, running her hands through my long curled hair in a way that reminded me too much of my mothers missed touch. I backed away from her, my movements too fast and causing me to slam against the vanity behind me.

"Please ... don't do that." I warned in a hiss, the lethal sounding threat behind it, shocking even me.

Esme dropped her hands with a nod of understanding to me. "Of course, Rachel. I truly meant no harm."

"I know." I replied, leaving the room and speeding down over the staircase.

That first month had been the hardest for me. I wanted to run back home... back to La' Push... and I tried to... more than once. I never got far. Emmett always caught up with me, and would talk me into going back with him. He would remind me of how uncontrolled my thirst was, and I would immediately feel the burn in my throat come to life with renewed strength when he spoke this truth to me. I had come to notice that he had spent the most time with me, and I wasn't sure what to make of his sudden interest in my well being.

A small part of me wandered if maybe he was being so kind, because he respected Jacob on some level? Despite their obvious and vast differences, Emmett did strike me as someone who would have befriended Jacob had things been different. Whatever the reason was behind his caring and protective nature, I was grateful for his support.

Most of the time, I felt like a prisoner in my own granite skin. I had even plead with them to let me see Jacob... just once before we left for Alaska, but they refused and when I pushed harder, it angered Rosalie enough to spill the cold and bitter truth to me.

"Jacob has_ ordered_ us to go, Rachel!" She yelled, throwing more of her things into her full suitcase.

I felt like she had slapped me in the face, as her words lashed at me with a biting pain.

"What?"

"It's true. Esme met with him... and he gave her the order to take you and leave for Alaska. Right now."

"I don't believe you!" I screamed back to her, tackling her to the ground. She shrieked and instantly fought back.

"Get off me!"

Emmett soon hauled me off of her, as Esme flew into the room to see what all the yelling was about.

"Tell her, Esme!" Rosalie hissed. "Tell her what Jacob has commanded from us!"

Esme met my crazed look with one of pity and I felt my insides shred when she confirmed it.

"Your brother has asked us to leave Forks with you, Rachel... and not return."

I slumped to the floor, screaming as her words echoed in my head.

That had been months ago and we were now residing in Alaska. The house Esme had bought was twice the size of the Cullen's old mansion, and it was beautiful... It was truly the most elaborate kind of living I had ever experienced. I had quickly come to learn that money was no damn object when you were technically dead and seemingly invincible. I had never even known living like this existed... only seeing it in the movies before now.

I grew up with little and in my family, we made do with what we had and we stretched the mighty dollar as far as we could ... just to survive. After mom passed away, things got much worse, and we were often forced to heavily rely on handouts from the kind people on the Reservation. I kept those memories close to me, always fearing that I would somehow forget my human life altogether one day... that I wouldn't remember my father or my brother as the years would come to inevitably creep by.

Esme had furnished the new house nicely and it oddly had begun to feel like home to me. She had allowed me to choose whichever room in the house I wanted for my own, and told me I could decorate it as I saw fit. I thanked her for her hospitality several times and tried to adjust to my new life... one day at a time.

The nights were often the hardest... Now that I didn't need sleep... I would stay awake and read countless books or even write in the journal I had started to keep. Some of the entries were just my thoughts, while others were three page long letters to my father or my brother. I knew that the chances of them ever reading these letters were slim to none, but it made me feel some sense of closeness with them when I wrote. It was my only way of coping right now.

The finality of everything made me more and more sorrowful as the months dragged on. By the time the seasons had begun to change into Summer, my journal was full and I was working on a second. I skimmed through the many filled pages, debating on what to do with it. Later on that evening, I tossed it into the trash in the kitchen, knowing there was no true use of me hanging onto it. What purpose would it serve now? My father and my brother would never read them.

I was choosing a book to spend the night reading, when a faint knock from Esme came to my bedroom door, her tone kind when she addressed me.

"Rachel, may I come in."

I opened the door to see her standing there with my thrown away journal in her hands. Her expression weary when she saw the horror that spread across my face.

"You didn't-" I asked her.

"No, Rachel. I assure you that I haven't read a word of it and I wouldn't. This is yours."

I felt relief as I reached out for it. "What-"

"I pulled it from the trash... I saw it in there just now. Why would you throw it away?"

"There's no point in keeping it, Esme." I replied, delicately tracing my thumb along the leather edge.

"Of course there is." She countered, stepping into my room and closing the door behind her.

"Keeping it serves me no true purpose. No one will ever see it... it's mostly just my thoughts... some letters."

"Letters?" She asked with interest.

"Letters to my father and to Jacob."

"You've written letters in this journal, Rachel?"

I nodded, setting the journal on my bed and feeling the familiar sorrow loom heavily around me. "It's all I have left, now. I can't very well communicate with them in person... and I'm afraid what would happen if I called and heard one of their voices... It would make me miss home in a whole new way."

Esme offered me a sorrowful smile in understanding. "Have you ever thought about maybe mailing these letters?"

I stared at her in disbelief, my eyes glued to her timeless beauty.

"No... I couldn't ever-"

"You could mail them to your father. I'm sure he would love to hear something from you."

"Is that even allowed?" I asked timidly, feeling the small hope swell within me from her words.

"I believe it is."

"It would be a form of torture... "

"I don't see it that way, Rachel."

"Why not?" I replied, tucking my long hair behind my ear.

"Because... you've done nothing wrong ... you were forced into this life. Your brother knows this. He is a fair man, Rachel, and only wanted to keep his land safe."

"He sent us away for good reason, Esme. Even I see that. He wasn't being malicious."

"We had to leave for the good of everyone involved..."

I saw her golden eyes meet mine and I nodded in understanding, knowing exactly what she meant.

"Jacob is a good leader... it's what he was born to do... to protect. He'll... be a good dad, too."

Esme heard the sadness in my tone and reached for my hands, holding them tightly in hers. "I've known your brother long enough to know the kind of true man with great character he is. I am certain that he and your father miss you as much as you miss them. Sending the letters would cause no harm to them, but the choice in ultimately up to you, dear. I will respect whatever you decide."

I glanced toward the journal and could almost picture the smile on my fathers face if he received a letter from me.

"I don't want to hurt them anymore than I already have, Esme. They are my family... no matter what I am, now."

"Rachel, you have shown great progress since we came here. You're controlled and you've mastered hunting with us. I have seen the big change in you. You've done very well with the adjustment. Give yourself some credit for that, at least."

"But if I send them the letters, then my father may push Jacob to lift the order so he can see me. It would cause great tension between them."

"Who's to say it already hasn't. These letters could do just the opposite, they could lift some of the heavy grief for them."

"I know a large part of the reason he ordered us away... it was for Bella... and I don't blame him. I can't be trusted and I would never forgive myself if I hurt her in a moment of weakness... in a moment of lost restraint. He had to put her safety first... I would never want to intentionally take a life."

"You haven't had to, and I don't believe you will. As I said before, you've shown great progress while we've been here and you've been more than willing to master your hunger for human blood."

"It's never gone, Esme. You have been what you are long enough to know that it will never _truly be gone_. We hunger to drink the blood of humans and that is what Jacob was made to protect my former people from. I cannot ask him to place his devout trust in me when I myself do not place it. Your own son... Jasper... he tried to attack Bella once. I know the story. Emmett told me a few nights ago."

Esme's beautiful face grew haunted as I said this. Her eyes staring blankly ahead of her.

"Yes... there was a time..." She weakly sighed.

"So you see how this could happen with me? You yourself have witnessed the powerful pull human blood has for us. It's a risk I won't take. I would give anything to be able to see my father again, but if it means I could lose my control and kill someone... then I'd rather we never saw one another again. At least, I'd know he's safe."

"Jasper didn't demonstrate the control you do, Rachel. He constantly struggled with the draw of human blood. No two of our kind are the same. You are unique all on your own. This life that you live now is not the one you chose."

"Jacob and my father didn't choose this for me, either. I can't place them in harms way like that. It's selfish, Esme. Don't you see? If I ever went back there and lost control... it would force my brothers hand! He would kill me and rightfully so! I wouldn't even fight against him if he tried. I would know the kind of internal agony he would have to live with for the rest of his life. That kind of pain and regret could suffocate him and it would be all my fault. I know he's Alpha now... that he's an adult with a life of his own... but to me... he's still my little brother... and I made our mother a promise that I would always be there for him... take care of him the best way I knew how. Shamefully, I didn't always stick by my family like I should have. I left for College when I truly knew I needed to stay and I know it was selfish of me then, but I have no intention of breaking any more of that promise to my mother now... I will keep it... at any cost."

She humbly nodded in understanding and took her hands from mine.

"I still encourage you to keep this journal, Rachel. Please?"

"For now." I replied, seeing her faintly smile as she left my room.

I clutched the journal close to my chest, and pondered some of what Esme had said. She had no idea how much I missed my father and my brother... my old home.

I tucked the journal away, leaving it be for now and headed downstairs to try and forget the conversation with Esme. I needed to put it out of my thoughts and not dwell on it anymore tonight.

I saw Emmett sitting on the couch, playing some kind of video game. His smile was large when he saw me crest the bottom of the stairs.

"Care to play for a while?" He offered me, with a cocky smirk that told me he already counted it as a win for him. Little did he know how much time I had spent playing video games with Jake when he was younger. He was asking for trouble and bound to lose.

I smiled graciously to him in reply and sat down, taking the offered controller as Emmett began to explain the rules.

I listened closely to his instructions, finding it hard to concentrate when I heard the annoying sound of a loud high pitched ringing from someones cell phone... somewhere in the background.

"Is that Rosalie's cell?" I asked, seeing Emmett start the game with a chuckle.

"I don't think so. Sounds like Esme's."

I saw Esme round the corner from the kitchen, as she quickly retrieved her cell from her purse. The cheerful expression she previously wore, quickly slipped from her face when she glanced down at the lit up screen. She turned herself away from us with rapid speed and was upstairs in her room before Emmett could even pause the game.

"Who was on the phone?" He asked me.

"I'm not sure... but whoever it was... I don't think she expected a call from them."

Emmett placed the controller on the glass coffee table and wandered over to base of the stairs, his gaze seeking out her closed bedroom door. I followed suit, standing next to him and hearing Esme whisper into the phone.

Vampire hearing had its perks after all...

"Bella... I certainly didn't expect to hear from you."

My wide gaze met Emmett's as we looked at each other in disbelief.

"Why would she call here?" I asked, feeling the panic rise up in me as a sobering thought struck me. "Do you think it's something to do with Jacob? Is he hurt? My father... are they okay? Or in trouble?"

Emmett silenced me with a stern look as we listened on.

"I understand the reason for your call. Not to worry... Rachel is doing well, Bella. She has far impressed us with her control. Is Paul there with you now?"

I took a step back upon hearing the name... my mind quickly filling with the unwanted memories of that tortured time with Garrett and Kate.

"Paul?" I asked Emmett.

"He's with Jacob... Third in command in his pack..."

"He was ... with me... that time with Garrett. I remember him."

Emmett's look grew somber when he pulled me away from the stairs, gently tugging on my elbow and leading me to the kitchen.

"What? What are you doing?!" I exclaimed. "I want to hear them better!"

"... What do you remember about that time with Paul ... in the basement?"

I shuddered at even the memory, turning abruptly away from Emmett and gazing out the window into the darkness.

"Enough... I remember enough."

"What do you remember about Paul... specifically?"

My mind flooded with the memory of his beautiful dark silver fur as he curled himself around me... to keep me warm... to keep me safe... the viscous sound of his roar when Garrett took hold of me...

I felt Emmett reach for my arm and turn me back around, finding his gaze to be truly remorseful when he spoke again.

"Rachel... what do you know about_ imprinting_?"

I looked at him as if I had heard him wrong... or somehow_ misunderstood him._

I had heard the many legends from my father when I was little. It's how I knew the kind of fierce battle Jacob fought against the beast... It's how I was able to so easily understand what he was.

Imprinting was a force of nature all on it's own. My father had told me of it's power and he had taught me about the strong connection it created between two people when I was only a mere child.

"Rachel?" Emmett asked, taking hold of me by the shoulders to get my attention again.

"I... I've heard of it. My father told me what it was when I was just a little girl. It's a powerful connection..."

"Very..." Emmett agreed with a resigned sigh. "... and it's the kind of connection you share with Paul now."

I backed away from him, the sudden movement creating a large distance between us. "What?"

"It's true."

"You're lying." I hissed, feeling the anger grate its way over me from his absurd and outright asinine implication.

"I'm not." Emmett defended. "You're Paul's imprint."

"That's not possible. Not after... this. I'm his... enemy." I replied, gesturing to myself.

"It is possible. Paul imprinted on you before..."

"Before Garrett turned me?" I hissed in question. The sound still odd for me to hear as it ripped from my lips.

"Yes."

I shook my head in disbelief, my mind running through the memories of him and then reflecting on what my father had told me about the impenetrable connection as a child.

"It can't be t-"

"It is true, Rachel." Esme suddenly added, as she flitted down over the stairs. "You're Paul Lahote's imprint..."

"Is that what the call was about? Was that really... Bella?"

"I assumed you heard and it appears that my assumption was correct?" Esme asked, placing her phone on the table and stepping toward me.

I nodded and saw her worried golden hued gaze meet mine.

"Just tell me... what is it..." I demanded.

"What Emmett says is accurate. You are Paul's imprint... I'm afraid he is suffering a great agony without you."

"Bella told you this?"

"Just now... and it appears Paul is not the only one... Your brother and father are suffering a great deal, too."

"Jacob had to give that order." I replied.

"Yes... I know... but it has cost him a lot..."

"My father is stubborn but he will come around. I assure you... his anger won't last forever."

"The situation has already taken a great toll on him, Rachel. He's taken up old habits."

I cringed upon hearing this, knowing_ exactly_ what she meant when she said 'old habits'.

"He's drinking again? My father hasn't barely touched hard alcohol since... my mom passed away."

Esme nodded, sitting herself down at the kitchen table with a saddened expression.

"Bella is concerned for this... and much more. She called me because she wanted to know how you were."

"Does Jacob know she called?" I asked, wringing my hands together with nervous energy.

"No... I don't presume so. Her tone was nervous and timid to me on the phone. She seemed to be rather anxious about the outcome of our call."

"Which was?" I replied, in a hushed voice.

"She was only reaching out to see if you were alright. She wanted to know how well you've adjusted to living here with us. I assured her you were doing very well."

I took the empty chair across from her, sinking down into it with uncertainty. How was I supposed to feel about this?

"Being a wolfs imprint is a force unlike any other, Esme. It links two people with a gravitational pull almost... If this is in fact true... and I am Paul's imprint... than that means this whole time... all these months... he's been forced to be without me. Do you know what that can do to a wolfs spirit? Imprinting is love... on an entirely different, more profound level. The very world around the wolf shifts... moves... to center and revolve around their imprint. They live for them... die for them... protect them ... They become whatever their imprint needs without being asked. It's a deeply soulful connection."

Emmett and Rosalie were now listening with peaked interest as I continued.

"That kind of connection is so strong that they become unconditionally bound to them for the rest of their life."

I went silent as I thought of the wolf who had vehemently fought alongside Jacob to get me away from Garrett ... To protect me... How very enraged he was when Garrett hauled me away from him... How he instinctively fought back until he couldn't...

It all made sense to me now...

"How could this happen? The kind of torment he's endured..." I breathed, catching a glimpse of Esme's phone beside me, my fingers already twitching to dial Bella back.

"Bella and the others have done a lot for him... to help him through... but he's far from out of the woods." Esme replied.

"I can't go back there... I won't take the risk... and there's no way we could coexist now."

"Bella doesn't expect you to and to be really honest, she wants you to keep your distance and for all of us to respect the command Jacob has given."

"She's afraid of me..." I vacantly replied in recognition. "Afraid of what harm I could bring them."

Esme nodded in reply, her eyes scanning the room once before returning her attention to me. "You surely understand her concern. Jacob was unyielding in his command to us. We respect his leadership position ... and we respect his pack enough to follow it without protest. This learned knowledge about Paul doesn't change that."

"... and if Paul gets worse and not better... without her?" Emmett asked, shooting an expectant glance my way.

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it." Esme replied.

"My brother assumes I will lose control and harm her... or worse..." I sighed, realizing exactly where his justified fear came from. "I would never harm her intentionally."

"We know this, Rachel." Esme replied, placing her hand on my arm. "But with Bella expecting their first child... no measure of precaution would be great enough for your brother. You know this of him."

"I do." I replied, feeling the immense longing return for my human family once again.

"The sun will be up in a few short hours. If we still plan on hunting in the cover of the dark, we need to go now." Rosalie soon reminded us.

"Yes, of course." Esme replied. "You need to feed, Rachel. Best to keep your thirst under control. Come... Let's get going."

We took off through the muggy woodlands with vast speed, following resourceful trails in search of the animal I needed to sink my teeth into, so I could fill the wild craving that possessed me. I was starving for the kill when I took out a buck, pinning it to the ground and draining its large and sturdy frame of all life in seconds. The more I fed ... the more vivid the memories of Paul became... the more vivid his roar was in my mind... the more shattered I began to feel over my father and Jacob.

I tried to shake the many thoughts from my mind, as I sunk my teeth into a smaller doe just as we embarked on a new trail, the moonlight beaming down upon us with abundant glow as we flew through the dense tree cover.

I missed the warmth of home in more ways than I could ever explain, but I couldn't return. For the price of such a thoughtless choice could very well end up costing those I love the most... everything.

I could never have their blood on my hands.


	99. Chapter 101

**A/N: Second update of the night! This chapter is done in Paul's point of view. I hope you enjoy! HAPPY READING!  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; ONE**

**(PPOV)**

I hadn't anticipated someone to actually answer the call that Bella had placed. By the fourth ring, I had walked away, expecting a voicemail or a disconnection recording to filter through the line. When Esme's voice cut through the line instead, I stopped in my tracks, balling my hands into fists as I thought of the bastard who had turned Rachel that day at the Cullen's... the sole demon responsible for turning my fucking world upside down.

I listened to their entire short lived conversation. Hearing the calm tone in Esme's voice when she spoke of Rachel... of her impressive control. The detail she described it in, was enough to have my skin crawling and my insides fucking shredding. Esme talked about her like she was some kind of pet... like a stray they had rescued from the cold cruel world. I listened to Bella explain some of the hardships Billy and Jacob were facing, as I sucked in a sharp breath and walked away from her, unable to listen on anymore. My hands coming to forcefully grip the rickety knob of my cabins front door. I wanted to run until my lungs burned... Sprint through the forest until I collapsed from exhaustion ... until Rachel's face was no longer imbedded in my mind. I was ready to bolt when I heard Bella abruptly end the call and approach me, her small hand touching my forearm.

"Don't leave... please. I know you just want to feel nothing for a little while, but taking off like this does nothing but scare the hell out of the people who care for you most. People like your mom... Sam and Emily... the pack... Jacob... and me."

Her tone was soft and pleading, and as fucking bad as I wanted to get the hell away from La'Push for a while, I couldn't bring myself to take off on her like that.

She had done a whole hell of a lot for me, and I at least owed her the damn decency of staying here if she asked me to.

I slowly released the door handle, seeing it fall off from my powerful grip. I cussed and saw Bella half grin in response.

"I'm sure we can fix that." She offered, scooping it off the floor and handing it to me.

"I hope so... Landlord will be pissed enough with me as it is."

I ran my hands through my hair, feeling the heat slowly recede, as I took a few deep breaths and stepped away from the door. Bella's gaze was watchful of me, as if she were trying to gauge where my level of tolerance was in the moment. I could plainly see her itching to say something... her nerves showing in her face as she gnawed on her bottom lip. I took a stride toward her, seeing her eyes widen a bit in response when I gazed down at her. My eyes focused on her nervous habit. I squared my shoulders and forced myself to ask her the one question I didn't even want to hear the fucking answer to.

"What did she say. I heard most of it but -"

"...Not all of it." She finished for me, glancing down to her phone with a reflective gaze.

"I heard enough to know Ra-..." I paused, forcing the very name back down that threatened to send a world of turmoil through me. I refused to speak her name. For my own fucking sanity's sake... or what I had left of it anyway. "... She's ... okay."

"Yes... She is."

I could see the evident hesitation in Bella's eyes when they averted my own, and I knew she was trying to choose her words with precise care.

"Tell me..." I sighed, bracing myself for the biting lash of raw emotional torment that threatened to wrap it's barbed wire clutches around me once again.

"I..." She paused, seeing me almost visibly flinch away from her the moment she opened her mouth. "Only spoke to Esme... and she informed me that... Rachel... was entirely unaware of the imprint... much the same as they themselves were, of course."

"She had no way of knowing." I replied, clenching my jaw as my head became overrun with the unwanted images of how terrified she was when she clung to me in that fucking hell on earth the Cullen's called a house. I closed my eyes, trying to remove them and mentally cursing when I found them unyielding to my efforts.

"I'm not stupid enough to think they all can simply come back here and live... and we can all just coexist in perfect harmony. That's unrealistic and too dangerous... for everyone."

I opened my eyes and saw the true remorse now prominently etched in her pretty face.

"Especially for you."

Her hand immediately went to her rounded stomach upon hearing my words.

"I know..." She sighed, her eyes filling with a hurt that I knew all too well.

"Bella... you're not responsible for this... not for any of it. You gotta' believe me when I tell you that."

"I started the motion... years ago, Paul."

I could feel the conviction behind her words and knew that she genuinely believed this to be true.

"You're not to blame."

"It's the domino effect ... Think about it... If I hadn't allowed things to get so far with Edward... If I had just told Jacob the truth from the start... from way back... when fixing up shitty bikes and pizza was our idea of real fun... Things would be so different now. You know it's true."

I stared at her long and hard, feeling the sadness in her words, but knowing that I couldn't sugar coat shit like this for her.

"You're right, Bella. You made a stupid choice years ago that had lasting impacts on a lot of people... but that in no way makes you responsible for what happened to Rach-"

I stopped myself, swallowing the name back down with force as Bella hugged me.

"I'm sorry, Paul. I wish there was more I could do for you."

"You've done way more than I deserve already." I replied, slowly wrapping my arms around her. "But we should keep this between us, Bella. I don't think Jacob would approve of the call. If anything... let me be the one to tell him, alright?"

She was mute in reply, and it dawned on me then that this was the longest I'd ever embraced her... or anyone else in a long ass time for that matter. I used to just wrap an arm around her shoulders, and would release her before a full second or two had passed. It was my way of keeping everyone at arms length. I would pull the same thing with Emily whenever she tried to embrace me. It had become almost instinctual to keep all forms of affection or comfort a safe distance from me. My overwhelming fear was that if I ever allowed someone close enough to me, I would eventually lose my shit, and the torment that I had kept locked away for the better part of six months now, would forcefully rip out through me for all the world to finally see.

I had done a good job at sticking to just myself... sticking to patrol every day and night... running myself fucking ragged just to be out and busy and away from the others. Even when I took over for a patrol run, I only did so with Seth or Jacob, mainly because they were the only two wise enough to leave me the hell alone when I asked them to. They didn't fucking push me to share my thoughts every damn second of the run like Leah or Embry had at first. Seth had been a great sport about it all. Even at his younger age, he didn't bitch when he was asked by Jacob to run the extra shifts with me. His overall attitude was far more tolerable for me than that of the others.

Bella took notice of the lingering hug and she didn't let go, which made me wish she had, because I could feel the barbed wire begin to tear at my soul, as Rachel's face flashed before me. I was fucking certain that if I ever let the grief pour out of me, it would swallow me whole and I would only get worse from there.

I released her, holding her back at arms length with my hands on her forearms. She glanced up at me with understanding and took a step back, offering me half a smile.

It was enough for me to pull myself together, to reign that all back in a with shaky breath, as I stood up straighter and returned the sentiment to her.

"It's nearly dawn... I'm kinda hungry." She then admitted, with a bashful expression that I found damn amusing.

"Eggs?" I offered, seeing her nod of enthusiasm. "Good... glad you're okay with that considering that's all I've really got in this bachelor pad. I would hardly eat here if it weren't for you!"

She laughed, opening the fridge to retrieve the carton of eggs and handing them to me.

"Scrambled or fried?"

"I like scrambled." She replied.

"Me too."

"With ketchup...?"

"Gross... no way, Bella... Sorry but that's where I draw the damn line." I chuckled, turning on the stove and heating up the frying pan.

"You seriously don't like ketchup on your eggs!" She laughed in bemusement.

"Nope... never have."

I scrambled up nearly the entire dozen and split them down the middle for her and I.

"I can't eat that much!" She exclaimed, with her eyes wide as she took in her rounded breakfast plate.

"Sure you can... you are eating for two!" I joked, tossing a few pieces of wheat toast with butter on her plate.

"Here..." She replied, dishing some of the eggs back onto my plate. "Take some of them back, please."

She poured us some orange juice, and I couldn't help but feel a bit of jealousy when I realized for the tenth time just how damn lucky some of my pack brothers were. They had someone to go home to... Someone to share things with... someone to miss... someone to have meals with... everyday... meals like this.

"Thanks for staying, Bella."

She paused with her forkful of eggs half lifted to her mouth when she heard my genuine tone. Her hand reaching out to touch my forearm with a nod and a soft smile.

"Of course."

"Been nice not being so alone."

"You're not alone... ever."

I finished my plate and was about to pour more juice, when I heard the sound of running footsteps along the ground just outside, the weight of them heavy and familiar when they hit the creaking wood of my front porch.

"Jake's here, Bella."

I watched her whole face light up in response, as she rose from the table and put her plate in the sink. Jacobs knock was loud and near pounding. The very urgent nature of it had the both of us freezing mid walk. I shot her a glance of concern and she returned it with her own panicked expression.

I had a feeling he already somehow knew about the phone call to the Cullen's... A feeling that got heavier by the second.

"PAUL!" Jacob yelled from outside the door. His tone lethal and severely heated.

"Bella... go in the other room." I instructed her, knowing if shit went the way I thought it might... that Jacob would_ never_ want her caught in the ugly crossfires of it.

She looked truly shaken when I ushered her into the living room. "I'm not letting you take the brunt of his anger, Paul. It was my damn idea!"

"Bella... just stay in here. I mean it..." I replied, my tone edgy as I turned back to head for the front door.

I threw it open and was met with Jacob's heated glare, as he barged his way in through the cabin, his tremors rolling off him with every word he shouted.

"WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!"

I took a step back from him, knowing his heated tone was not to be defied or questioned in a moment like this.

"ANSWER ME!" He shouted, shoving me back once. I kept my head about me, and forced the heat raging up from within, to remain controlled.

"I called her." I admitted, unwilling to let Bella catch the hell for it. Jacob was livid... pissed in a way I hadn't seen in a_ long time_. I knew he would say things to her in the frantic uproar of the moment that he didn't mean... and he would live to regret them long after.

I saw Jacob grit his teeth as he approached me, his jaw clenching tightly with the force. "Why... tell me why the FUCK you would be SO STUPID!?"

I didn't say a word as I met his dark stare, seeing the raw anger there and feeling my own begin to ignite in response.

"Do you HAVE ANY IDEA what that call could have started... Tell me Paul... huh? Is she already on her way back with the rest of the leeches!?"

I felt the boiling rage roam over me, as he spat this accusation my way and I fought against it... hard.

"No."

"YOU HAD NO FUCKING RIGHT TO-"

I snapped my head up, seeing his livid gaze fill with hasty recognition as he abruptly stopped his thought.

"I HAD NO RIGHT!?" I shouted back, pushing into him with great force. Jake hardly moved as he glared back at me. "I HAVE EVERY DAMN RIGHT! SHE'S STILL MY IMPRINT! OR HAVE YOU FUCKING WRITTEN THAT OFF THE SAME WAY YOU DID HER!"

Jacob's fist flew and caught me square in the chin. The hit hard enough to draw blood. I wiped the rustic red from my split lip, and hurled myself into him, knocking us into the wooden kitchen table, and sending it smashing beneath our weight. I quickly got to my feet, as Jacob rolled and came at me. His anger undiluted when he swung again. I caught his fist and threw a punch, connecting with his cheek.

A shrilling scream stopped us both in our tracks, as Bella approached. Her tears running with her words.

"STOP IT! ENOUGH!"

Jacob looked at her, and I saw the rage dissipate as he held her broken gaze. I stepped away from him, wiping my mouth with the corner of my T - shirt, and seeing Bella search my face. I knew what she was gonna do and I shook my head to her in protest, but she went on anyway.

"It was me, Jacob. Not him... I called Esme." She admitted.

Jacob stepped away from her, with a look of vile bitterness I had never seen him hold for her.

"You called them?" He asked her through gritted teeth. His tremors growing by the second. I took a cautionary step forward, seeing the close proximity between them and feeling my instincts grab hold. "Why?"

"It's been months and months, Jacob." Bella yelled, her tears falling and her small frame shaking with the heavy emotion. "... and no one is getting better. Your father is barely hanging on by a thread! The two of you hardly speak anymore and when you do ... all you do is fight! All of this has caused him to be unfairly cruel to you! He doesn't know what to do with himself anymore! Even Charlie can't reach him like he used to. You're suffering... I see it everyday... Paul is suffering and no one has even heard from Rachel since they left for Alaska!"

Jacob's gaze was full of a raging fury that had me nervous for her... I knew he would never_ intentionally_ harm her... not for _anything_ in this fucking world... but Sam_ never meant to hurt Emily either..._

I took another unnoticed step closer to them, hearing Bella openly weep as she told him more.

"You have every right to be angry with me, Jacob. For calling Esme and not checking with you first.-"

"... Because you KNEW what my answer would have been had you fucking asked!" He yelled, his tone so harsh with her, that I half expected her to cave in on herself right then and there, but to my surprise, she did none of the sort. She took a step back from him, seeming to recognize with a clear mind now just how fueled with rage he was, and just how profusely he was shaking before her. "... and what's worse is you** went right along with her, Paul!"**

I was glad he had turned his attention back to me in that moment, it gave Bella time to move herself further away from him and it made me a hell of a lot less nervous for her.

"I did." I replied solidly to him, seeing him shake his head as he balled his hands back into fists.

**"As a member of my pack... you should know better!"**

"Should I?" I countered, taking a stride toward him. He matched my advance with one of his own, bringing us nearly nose to nose.

**"Yes, you fucking should. What the hell did you think you'd accomplish!?"**

"I just wanted to know she was alright!?" I yelled back, feeling the waves of his tremors as they vibrated off him. "I was there for the whole damn conversation... I heard what Esme told Bella... and Bella was mindful to be sure that Esme knew your command to them still stood! Why don't you give her some fucking credit once in a while!? Instead of treating her like she's too weak to place any weight into all this?"

"Don't you** dare** tell me how to take care of** Bella.** Who the **hell** do you think you are!? She should** respect** me enough to not contact the cold ones without seeking me out and asking first!" He shouted back.

"Oh yea?" I countered, my tone dripping with acid. "Well... your own sister is one of them now... and Bella loves you enough to care for your rapidly diminishing relationship with Billy! She respects you enough to fucking try! Which is saying a hell of a lot, don't you think?"

I heard the sobs that left Bella from the living room, as she listened to our heated exchange, and I could see his anger falter when he backed away from me, glancing her way with a look of longing, and bitterness all wrapped up into one contorted expression.

"She knows what Billy means to you, Jacob... and while your justified in being angry for the way she went about placing the call... you can't be fucking cruel enough to be pissed at her for the intention behind it. That's just not in you, man."

He stared back at me with a gaze of true rage while he walked past me, harshly brushing into my shoulder and knocking me back a step as he went.

"If this phone call intrigues something with them...** I will end them all**..." He seethed, heading for the door.

"Jacob!" I yelled, bringing him up short. "You'd destroy her?! You're own fucking sister?!"

I saw him glance over his shoulder with his vile reply... the words alone gutting me in a whole new way.

"The person you imprinted on was my sister, Paul... The cold blood sucking demon that lives with the Cullen's now in Alaska.._. is not my sister._ The person who you tried to protect that day from Garrett and Kate... _She was my sister.._. The person you're entire being came to revolve around in just one look..._ that was my sister. When her body was warm from the blood in her veins... that was the real Rachel... all that's left of her now is a corpse of who she was! She craves to sink her teeth into an innocent human just like the fucking rest of them now! It's about damn time both you and Bella... and my father... ALL LEARN THE DIFFERENCE!"_

_"_Jacob!" Bella snapped, wiping her tears and seeing the prominent anguish now etched in my face.

His words brought back the lash of barbed wire, as it hastily secured itself around my soul, ripping into it with an untamed vengeance. I lost the ability to say anything as I felt the turmoil overwhelm me. My mind filling with the images of what could have been ... what should have been... and what never would be.

I silently watched him as he left, slamming the door behind him, and nearly taking it off the hinges from the force. A fierce howl surrounded the small confines of the cabin, as the first hint of daylight shown in through the kitchen windows. Bella took a tentative step toward me, seeing me standing there completely still. My entire body rigid with the effort to keep myself in check... to keep my turmoil locked away... when in reality... I wanted to scream until my fucking throat bled.

I hadn't noticed Bella move even closer until I felt her arm graze mine. I turned to see her eyes meet my own with a sincere apology in them. She then grabbed her purse, and began searching until she found her checkbook. I took note of her scribbling out a two - hundred dollar check, before quickly ripping it out and handing it to me.

"Here... Please take this and get a new table? Please... I feel just horrible..."

I swallowed hard as her hand met mine when I took the folded check from her. The mere and seemingly simple contact, proving to be a huge challenge for me right now.

"If you need more money I could..."

I shook my head to her, releasing her hand and placing the check in my back pocket, as I struggled to speak through the torture that continued to linger on through me.

"You don't need to do that." I finally replied.

"Yes, I do." She countered, glancing at her jacket by the door.

"You should wait before you go after him, Bella. He needs time to cool off. Trust me..."

"I've never seen him that angry with me." She admitted, her tone shaky.

"It'll be okay, Bella. Give him some space for a bit."

I saw her eyes water from my words and knew how much she wanted to run to him, but after seeing him so pissed, I could only think of her safety and remember how easily things had gone so wrong for Emily and Sam.

Poor Sam had to pay for his loss of control every time he looked at his wife...

"I know you want to run to him right now, Bella... But Jacob needs time alone first... Time to get his head straight... sort through some things."

"I know." She replied, glancing out the window. "I feel terrible."

"Like I told Jacob... your intentions were good. He needs to remember that."

There was another knock on my door and I was relieved to hear Emily's kind voice on the other side of it this time. I let her in and her smile vanished when she saw my lip and the broken table. She then took one look at Bella and went to her like a mother would go to their crying child.

I stepped out on the porch, giving the two of them some time and glancing toward the woods.

I had told Bella she couldn't go after Jacob right now... That it wasn't safe... But that rule would never apply to me.

I took off running for the forest and phased as soon as I hit the trail that led to Jacob's house. My clothes shredding as I erupted into the wolf that roared to be free. There had been many things left unsaid in our heated exchange... and I had every intention of saying them.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think! I look forward to your reviews :-) xoxo**


	100. Chapter 102

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWO**

**(JPOV)**

I hadn't seen it coming when Quil and Embry came to me with the news. Our patrol run together was nearly over when I heard it...

_"Jacob... "_ Quil yelled, as he crossed the border back into La'Push. His thoughts loud._ "I just came from the Res... Was down by Paul's... Overheard Bella talking to one of the Cullen's on the phone..."_

I halted my run immediately, disbelieving what I had just heard him shout to me.

_"What the hell are you-"_

_"It's true, Bro!"_ He insisted._ "I heard her! She was on the phone with Esme. She must have-"_

I didn't even listen to the rest of what he had to say, I took off for Paul's without looking back.

By the time I reached his cabin, I was fuming pissed and ready to lost my shit... which I did.

I felt betrayed and_ gutted_ over the fact that he would even allow her to place that kind of call without hunting me down first. He knew the risks involved with her reaching out to the Cullen's... knew damn well I would be opposed to it... and he went along with it anyway. My tone was more harsh with Bella than I had intended it to be, but I had no regrets on my harshness with Paul. Punching him in the face wasn't a knee jerk reaction in the heat of the moment... it had been well thought out.

He was fourth in command in my pack and he should've fucking known better.

When I left Paul's, I phased and ran to blow off some steam. By the time I made it back home, I was less than thrilled to see him sitting on my front porch. I phased back and pulled on my jeans, seeing the impatient expression on his face as I approached.

"Where have you been?" He asked, getting to his feet.

"On a run." I replied, walking out around him and heading inside.

"You're not even gonna stop and talk to me. I've been waiting here for almost a fucking hour-"

"I sure in hell don't feel like talking." I bit back.

"You don't think we need to talk about what happened back at my cabin? You know you really shook her up with that shit!"

"You don't get to walk in here and lay a fucking guilt trip on me. The two of you made a call that should have never even been placed!"

"It was a choice I made in the moment, Jacob. These last months have been fucking hell for me... for everyone!"

"I know that!" I shouted back. "But calling the damn Cullen's was a huge mistake! If she comes back here-"

"You'll what!?"

"You know exactly what I'll do!"

He took a step toward me, his gaze fierce with his reply.

"She's still my Imprint... and if you-"

I heard the threat behind his tone before he even finished his words.

"You should rethink this... before you say something you'll wish you hadn't." I warned him.

"If she comes back here... I won't let you harm her..."

I slammed my fist down on the counter top, my blood beginning to rapidly boil.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me, Jacob."

"If they cross back into these lands... you will fight with us, Paul." I replied, authority clear in my tone. "You don't have a choice!"

I saw him visibly flinch at the Alpha command I had given, his stern stance faltering a bit from it.

"You're gonna make me choose between my pack and my imprint?" He yelled, taking a stride my way.

"The choice should be simple! Rachel is one of them now... one of the cold ones... why can't any of you see that?!"

"Why can't you see that she's still your sister?" He shouted.

"We've been over this... I'm done talking... this conversation is over. You know your place... you'd be wise to respect the command I've given, Paul."

He didn't reply as he stormed out, slamming the door shut behind him as he went. I shook my head at his defiant arrogance, as my head filled with the images of Bella's hurt expression from my tone earlier.

I had been angry with her for what she'd done.

She had no right to go behind my back and contact them.

We were supposed to be a team, Damn it!

As if on cue, I heard her timid foot steps on the front porch as she approached the front door, her eyes staying on the floor beneath her when she came in. She didn't utter a word to me ... she simply crossed through the kitchen and headed straight for the living room.

I won't lie... seeing her this way... cut me deep and made my hands twitch. In any other situation, I would have admitted my fault and apologized. I wasn't perfect... far fucking from it... but in this instance and given the circumstances... I felt she owed me the apology.

I heard the shower turn on and had to physically stop myself from going to her, reminding myself over and over that I wasn't the one in the wrong here... she was.

When she emerged from the shower in nothing but a bathrobe, her hair dripping wet and her skin flush from the heat of the water, I bit back the urge to to give in... to kiss her... to tell her I was sorry. But as hard as it was, I refused to do so.

She had no idea how betrayed her act at Paul's had made me feel. Stupid as it was... it had put me back into a mind frame I hated... back to a state of mind when she had devout care for those leeches... back when she chose Edward over me. I knew you couldn't logically compare the two situations... they were extremely different... but her choice to make that call, left me feeling utterly betrayed no less.

She was silent as she pulled out the a frying pan and the ingredients to make french toast. I placed my hand on top of hers when she dug out the egg carton and set it on the counter.

"Didn't you already eat at Paul's this morning?" I asked her.

"Yes... but you've been out on patrol run all night... You must be hungry."

I felt her hand slip away from under mine and watched her, as she cooked breakfast for me.

"Do you want bacon?" She soon asked, glancing over her shoulder expectantly at me.

I shook my head and poured myself a cup of coffee, feeling the overwhelming tension in the house and hating it.

Why would she go behind my back and call them the way she did? Didn't she know how much I needed us to be on the same page with all this?

She handed me my plate and sat down with me at the table, her gaze far away as she sipped her coffee. My own thoughts were elsewhere as I ate, my mind replaying the morning blow out with Paul, and though I was still angry, somewhere in the back of my mind, was the resound empathy I had for him. I knew exactly the kind of torment he had gone through... only his was proving to be ten times worse than my own had been. Unlike me, he had no way of getting his imprint back. A heavy ache hit me in the chest, as I pushed the plate of food away and sucked in a sharp breath.

Bella looked up at me with concern when she saw the half eaten plate.

"Was it not... good?" She asked tentatively.

"It was fine... It's not that."

She had a remorseful expression on her face when she reached for my hand, as I stood and headed for the shower. The sudden feel of her hand in mine, stopped me in my tracks, and I felt the anger slip from me like sand through a mans fingers.

"I'm sorry, Jacob."

The wolf in me wanted to come back with a biting reply of... "Yeah... you should be... you were wrong." But the man I was saw the evident regret in her gaze as it held my own, and I just didn't have the damn heart to be angry with her anymore.

I turned back, and pulled her up from the table, seeing her hesitant to say anything else, for the fear of starting another argument.

I swallowed my damn pride and forced down the feelings of any remaining bitterness as I wrapped my arms around her.

"I forgive you, Bella."

"I know you think it was ... impulsive of me and the wrong choice to make that call... but I just wanted to see how she was. I didn't ask Esme anything else. She knows your position with all this... and she respects it... They all do."

"... I know they do... what I really want to know is... do you respect it?"

My question had caught her off guard, seeing her suddenly step back away from me with a hurt expression.

"Why would even think you had to ask me that?" She replied, tucking her hands into the long sleeves of her bathrobe.

"You know why, Bella... you called them."

"For Rachel... not because I don't support your decision. I just wish there was some other way here, Jacob. Look at all the suffering this has caused? I know you're hurting... so is Paul and Billy... I've never seen him the way he is now."

"I have no other damn choices. Can't you see that?"

She shook her head and tried to walk out around me, acting as if she didn't want to discuss this any further... but I did.

"Do you truthfully understand that this is what's best for everyone involved?" I asked, my tone raising an octave.

"I don't know... if I'm being completely truthful, Jacob... part of me thinks maybe Rachel could come back to Washington... with her thirst more under control?"

"You're just like my father on this, Bella!" I exclaimed, walking away from her, as my anger began to get the better of me.

"That's not true!" She argued.

"How is it not?! You think she should come back here and live among us like nothing ever happ-"

"Do you believe in us?" She suddenly interjected, her eyes welling up and stopping my thought mid sentence.

"Bells... Of course I-"

"You do... right? You believe in us and what we have... what we share? That it's real?"

Her question had me unable to move as the evident hurt in her voice hit me hard in the chest.

"Why would you-"

"I'm asking because ... if you believe in what we have... in the true bond of the imprint... Then why is it you don't you see what Paul and Rachel could be-"

"Bella! You can't compare the-"

"Yes you can!" She yelled, her desperate tone resounding through the house. "You can't apply that immeasurable bond to one and not the other. What if things hadn't turned out the way they did for us, Jacob? What if I had been stupid enough to have gone through with that joke of a wedding to Edward! What if it was me!?"

Her voice cracked on the last word, making me immediately swallow the biting reply that nearly slipped from my tongue.

I tried not to let her words implant the unwanted images in my mind, but they came anyway... I clenched my hands into fists as the images invaded my mind like damn poison... The images of Bella coming back with the red blood thirsty eyes I hated ... her warmth forever gone... never seeing the beautiful blush creep into her snow white cheeks again... never hearing the sound of her heartbeat again... never being able to have her as mine.

Just the thoughts had my insides torn open in jagged slits. I let out a sharp exhale, as her gaze remained on my own, her face showing that she knew with one look exactly how gutted even the thought of her becoming one of the cold ones left me.

"What if it were me? If I lived to regret that choice, Jacob? If I had come back to you after becoming ... one of them? Would you have even considered it?"

I forced the mages out of my head, as the wash of pure agony settled into my limbs with concrete weight.

"I... I thought you were gone... when you were set to marry him... I ran from that pain... thinking that I would come back to hear you were-" I bit out.

I couldn't even finish the damn thought as her hands reached out to take mine.

"If I had been changed... if he had-"

"STOP!"

"Jacob... I want to know."

I felt sick to my stomach as the images bombarded my mind again, and I suddenly remembered the tormented feeling that hadn't plagued me in years, as it hastily returned. The sick, stomach churning feeling that coursed through my body the same way it did when I had received that dreadful wedding invitation of hers in the mail... the one that sent me running in wolf form for miles and miles. I had loathed being in that state of mind.

I never wanted to go back to it... never.

I couldn't take my eyes off her, as I pondered all the times I had laid awake in my old room at my dads, night after night, agonizing over the same damn question she was standing here asking me now.

"You know how much I love you, Bella... and you know what it did to me to hear you say you were gonna marry that leech... to hear it come from your own mouth up on that mountain... It made me sick ..."

"You're not answering my question... I want to hear it from you now... to know if things had been different and if I had gone through with the wedding... if I had come back to you as one of them?"

I swallowed hard, and felt the fervent heat lick up my spine, as I remembered the anguish that flooded me the moment I heard her tell Cullen she was marrying him... it had been long ago now... but it felt fresh to me... all over again in this moment with her.

I didn't want to relive the memory... It was too damn painful.

I turned away from her, closing my eyes and reigning in the heat, as she followed me outside and onto the porch.

"Tell me!?" She then desperately demanded. The sound of her tone stopping me in the front yard.

"Why?" I asked, feeling my tremors take hold, as I looked to the forest ahead and felt the wolf within stir at it's silent calling.

"Because... I need to know what you would've done."

I turned back, meeting her gaze and seeing the anxiousness there, while she waited for me to answer her question.

"Would you have come back?"

"Yes... I would have... that choice would've haunted me for years, Jacob... and I would have come back here ... for you... even if we were enemies... even if we were supposed to be against one another... I know with certainty that it wouldn't have stopped me from loving you... nothing could."

As hard as I tried to deny it... As hard as I fought against what my born instincts were... Deep down, I knew that if she had become one of them and then realized her mistake and returned to me years later... I wouldn't be able to stay away from her... She had my heart... long before the imprint ever factored in. She was such a part of who I was... that even if I had tried to deny her at first... I knew myself well enough to know I would've eventually caved in to what my soul had been screaming for.

I went to her, taking her in my arms, and choosing to let go of the bitterness over this morning. I kissed her thoroughly. Feeling her stunned reaction soon fade as she returned the kiss with equal passion.

"I would choose you... no matter what you were, Bella. I love you too damn much not to be with you."

I saw her faintly smile and caught a glimpse of Paul emerging in wolf form by the tree line. My eyes meeting his as he cautiously approached, and for the first time since Rachel had been turned, I actually placed myself fully in his shoes and I asked myself what lengths I would go to for Bella... If the tables were turned...

I would defy the laws for her ... go against what was born within me... just to be with her. How the hell could I expect this to be any different for Paul? Why was I holding him to a different standard when I knew I would do the same damn thing? What kind of leader did that make me now? Was I a hypocrite for this double standard or was I right in my stance? I knew one thing for sure... Paul wasn't getting better as time went on, and while he had made some improvements, thanks mostly to Bella's above and beyond efforts, he was still half the person he used to be. Living life only a former shell of himself now.

As his Alpha I had a responsibility to rise up for him in times like these, and I needed to remember what a vital part of my pack he was. He relied on me and I needed to come through for him, both as his Alpha... as his brother, but more importantly... as his friend.

**A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! Please review and tell me what you think! :-)**


	101. Chapter 103

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; THREE**

**(BPOV)**

Calling Esme had been my last ditch effort for trying to reach out to Rachel. Everyone was seeming to unravel without her, and I knew I had only made the problem worse by doing so. It's not easy to watch the one you care so much for suffer, but my effort to help had proven to do the exact opposite.

I pondered this as I drove to see Sam and Emily. Jacob was scheduled for patrol for the next eight hours and I hated being alone at night. I had been this way since I was just a little girl and it seems adulthood didn't change much with this fear for me.

I pulled into the familiar driveway, and drew in a deep sigh of relief when I saw Emily on the porch with a welcoming smile on for me. I met her grin with a warm one of my own, as I climbed out of my truck and headed for her. She embraced me and I could feel the evident concern in her hug.

"Where's Jacob?" She soon asked, with a weary smile.

"Patrolling... like he has been..." I replied, taking the freshly poured glass of cold iced tea she offered to me.

"Well, you be sure to tell him he's missing out on Sam's famous burgers tonight!" She laughed, placing a kiss to my temple, as I sat down on their porch swing.

"I will."

Sam emerged then with a plateful of patties and a wide grin.

"Hey there stranger!" He laughed, placing the raw meat on the grill. "Your other half coming?"

I shook my head, and saw his expression swiftly change when he noticed my silence.

"He's been pulling damn doubles all week." Sam griped, quickly adding a mixture of seasoning to the raw patties, as they sizzled on the hot grill.

"I know... trust me."

The sound of an approaching engine silenced any further reply I had, as I lifted my head to see Embry pulling up the driveway. His truck loaded with the rest of the pack. They all ran for Emily, like the pack of wolves they were. I chuckled at their enthusiasm and scooted over when Paul came jogging up the steps. His small grin fading when he noticed I was alone for this BBQ.

"No show again, eh?" He asked, sliding in next to me with a remorseful expression.

I shrugged and glanced out toward Emily's back yard, seeing the lively green forest and wishing Jake would surprise us all and just show up.

A warm arm soon wrapped around my shoulders, as I turned my head to meet Paul's gaze.

"I'm sorry, Bella... I should have stopped you..."

"It's not your fault. I made a choice. I was the one who sent the call to Esme."

"Is Billy coming?"

"I'm not sure." I replied, thinking back to the last heated exchange Jacob had shared with his father.

"I called him... tried to bribe him into leaving that damn house for a change."

"Think it worked?"

"I hope so." He replied, tightening his arm around me. "Chin up, sweetness. Jacob just might show up sometime after all. Sure have missed you coming around for dinner this past week."

"I know... I've missed it, too." I admitted.

Jacob had asked me to keep my distance from Paul... to stop going over there with dinner for him. He hadn't done so in a controlling fashion. His request came from a place of justified worry and while I missed Paul, I understood his reasoning behind it. My act of calling Esme had thrown the trust between us severely off balance.

"He still doesn't trust me..." Paul stated, with a scoff of evident disapproval.

"... you're not the only one he doesn't seem to trust these days."

He suddenly stood and reached for my hand. "Come take a walk with me?"

I glanced toward the others who were huddled in the back yard around Sam, discussing something my ordinary human ears could not make out.

"Sure." I hesitantly agreed.

We took a small path through the woods close by Sam's, one I had taken on foot with Jacob before. I couldn't help but get the sinking feeling of dread when Paul released my hand and leaned against a large oak tree, his eyes wandering away from mine.

"I... don't really know how to tell you this... but I figure it's better if you hear it from me now, instead of hearing it from the gossip you're sure to run into later..." He sighed, absentmindedly kicking at a rock that lay at his feet.

I swallowed down the unease that crawled up my throat, as he met my questioning gaze.

"The pack already knows... well most of them anyway, and Sam's filling the rest in as we speak. Jacob knows too, of course. I hope you understand that this isn't because of you or...-"

"You're leaving... aren't you?" I interjected, feeling the hot tears already angrily sting my eyes.

Paul paused and nervously tucked his hands in his pockets, as he fumbled for a reply. His look grew somber when he saw the emotion on my face and I recognized the shock there in his features.

"What?" I replied, hastily wiping away the tears that escaped down my cheeks. "Did you think I wouldn't care? That I would want you to leave?"

He shook his head with a heavy sigh, running his hands through his hair in nervous fashion. "Bella... if there were another way-"

"So that's it?" I breathed, shaking my head at the mess Garrett had left us in.

"I have to." He firmly replied, standing up straighter and squaring his shoulders, like he were preparing for a physical assault.

I turned away from him and slowly began heading back to Sam and Emily's. A strained voice from Paul soon stopped me.

"You're real important to me, you know?"

I felt the sincerity in his words and willed myself to turn back around to face him. His eyes were glossy, and the muscles in his arms were taut with the flexing fists he made in an effort to contain his own emotion. I was silent as he went on.

"Never thought we'd be close... but we are ... Who knew I'd come to care so much for the girl who slapped me in Jake's back yard years ago?"

His confession made me grin some, as I recalled how very angry I had been with him at that time for his arrogant disposition. Things had certainly changed since then. Our relationship had transitioned from hostile and uncomfortable to something I genuinely valued. He had become someone I relied on... someone I deeply cared for and the thought of him leaving, really hurt me.

"You're important to me, too..." I replied, seeing him walk closer to me. His steps seeming unsure and slower than normal.

"I don't feel like I can survive here... like this... not anymore, Bella. Truth is... without you trying to help me lately... I don't think I would've held on even this long."

"You're like ... family to me." I admitted, feeling his hand graze my forearm as he reached for me.

I hugged him, thinking of how much his departure would effect the pack. Paul was a vital member. His absence could leave Jake and the others short handed and weakened.

"Where will you go?" I asked, placing my head on his chest as our embrace lingered on.

"I'm not positive yet, but I'm thinking Montana. I've got extended family there... some I haven't seen since I was a toddler. If it doesn't work out there... then I might head to California. Try living there for a while... see what life brings my way. My mom knows I'm going and she's not thrilled, to say the least."

I closed my eyes, tightening my arms around him and swallowing back the sob that wanted to escape me. His sought out destination was far... too far.

"That's..."

"Far away... I know."

"You want it that way, don't you?" I replied, releasing him and searching his eyes with my own.

He merely nodded, sweeping a lock of hair away from my face, as a late Spring breeze blew around us.

"My number won't change... I'll call... often... check in with everyone. I wanna know things are okay back here... that you're okay..."

I nodded, hearing the faint sound of nervousness in his tone when he spoke.

"Please do..."

"I just told Jacob a few hours ago. So, don't think he was keeping it from you. I think that's half the reason he took up another patrol shift instead of heading over here for the BBQ. I was scheduled to run tonight."

"What did he say... when you told him?" I asked.

"He doesn't want me to go... thinks I'm making a big ass mistake that I'll regret later. He tried to talk me out of it-"

"But your mind is already made up?"

His look grew more solemn when he heard the small hope in my tone. I wanted him to stay... selfish... but true.

"Everyday is a struggle for me. I... want things I shouldn't." He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair.

"Things you shouldn't?" I asked, not clearly understanding what he meant.

"I shouldn't want her... but I do. I want Rachel... Everything in me wants her... It's like telling someone who needs air not to breathe. Some days are better than others... still hurts like hell."

"But you're surviving and I've seen the change in you." I countered.

"But that's all I'm doing here... surviving. I'm not living. There's a big difference... you know that."

I nodded to him in understanding. What he said was absolutely true. There was a vast difference between living and just existing. I had merely existed with Edward... I lived and loved with Jacob. You couldn't compare the two.

The sound of Sam's yell from the porch drifted out to us and we headed back to the BBQ.

I tried to keep it together... tried to remember that he was leaving for his own good... it was something he felt he had to do and if I was placed in his shoes, I knew that I would want the same kind of understanding he was asking me for now.

When we all gathered around the two large picnic tables on Sam's front porch to eat, there was a notable sadness in the air. The pack didn't eat with their normal enthusiasm, and the conversations were few and far between. I made myself a small plate and thanked Emily for her cooking, but I couldn't even look at it. I had lost my appetite. Paul took notice of this and gently nudged into me with a soft smirk.

"Come on Swan... gotta eat something." He sighed, nudging the plate closer to me. "Please? Alpha will have my ass..."

"He's not your Alpha anymore! You're leaving, remember?" Embry suddenly shot at Paul from across the table. His words icy and his glare even colder.

"Hey!" Sam interjected. "Ease up, Embry."

"Why?" Embry harshly bit back. "He should know what his selfish choice will do to the rest of us!"

"That's enough!" Sam warned, his tone loud and demanding.

"You're not my Alpha!" Embry shouted, standing from the table and throwing his plate of food to the ground. "I don't have to listen to your bullshit, either!"

Sam jumped up from his sitting position, his food long forgotten as he grabbed Embry by the shirt and got in his face.

"Sam!" Emily yelled, as Embry took a useless swing at him.

Paul was in the middle of it before I could fully blink a second time, placing himself between them and moving Embry away from Sam, who was fuming.

"You're right... You don't have to answer to me... I'm not your Alpha anymore... but you WILL show respect to me and Emily when on my property! Got it!?"

Embry shoved himself away from Paul and took off running for the forest, before Sam could say anything further on the matter. He was gone from view in seconds and as the uneasy silence settled over the rest of us, it became clear just how much Paul leaving would influence the pack.

"He's just angry." Sam sighed, sitting down at the table and kissing Emily softly on the cheek. "Sorry..."

"He's right though, you know?" Seth softly added, his tone shaky with emotion when he raised his head to meet Paul's gaze from across the table. "If you leave... nothing will be the same, bro... I mean... we're a pack... we're family, right? Family sticks together... don't they?"

His words had my gaze wandering to the solemn expressions that surrounded me. Everyone looked like they were missing a part of themselves already... and Paul was still sitting here with us... I didn't even want to envision what it would be like when he was actually gone.

"Seth, if there was another way-" Paul began.

"There is... just stay here with us, bro. We can get you through this. Leaving now isn't the answer... don't you see? We're already fractured enough as a group without you breaking away and leaving!"

"Jacobs trained the two newbies well-"

"THEY ARE NOT YOU!" Seth yelled, his voice cracking on the last word, and his face flush with evident emotion.

"Seth..."

"NO! This is BULLSHIT! We're supposed to be a pack ... brothers."

"I am still your brother!" Paul stated firmly, his own tone strained.

"No... you'll leave and never come back..."

Seth then apologized to Emily, as he turned away from us and headed straight for the woods. Leah stood and went after him, her eyes meeting mine before she went.

They didn't get far before Jacob emerged from the tree line, his jeans ripped and tattered as he pulled them on and approached a shaking Seth, who was on the verge of phasing.

I couldn't hear the exchange that took place, but I soon saw Jacob pull a distraught Seth into a firm embrace, as Leah phased and took off in wolf form after Embry.

"I should go talk to him... or help Leah find Embry." Paul offered, rising up from the table.

"I'd wait if I were you. Give him a chance to cool it first." Sam replied.

"You hate me to?" Paul pointedly asked Sam. His tone low when he spoke.

Sam pushed his half empty plate away and shook his head.

"You're one of my own, Paul. I could never hate you. But your leaving will hit us hard... that's to be expected, bro. Seth and Leah have been through a lot... with Sue gone... losing anyone else is difficult for them... especially Seth. He looks up to you and Jacob... always has."

I saw Jacob head for us with Seth walking by his side. I watched Seth approach the table, his face full of so much sadness that it broke me to see. Sam stood when Jacob reached for me, his hand catching mine and drawing me swiftly up from the table.

"You came..." I sighed in relief, feeling his fingers lace with mine.

"I did a perimeter run first... just to be safe... but I wanted to be here." He replied to me and the many other listening pack members, who were now anxious at his arrival.

I nestled myself into his side, as Seth offered up an apology to Paul for his prior outburst. Paul shook his head and hugged him in reply. The embrace between them, meaningful and nice to see.

"You didn't eat, honey?" Jacob asked with clear disapproval in his warm tone.

"With everything going on -"

He nodded in reply and drew me in closer to him with a heavy sigh. The sound of it reminding me again of how much he carried on his broad shoulders right now.

"Are you comfortable enough to stay here for a while? I need to have a meeting with the pack... with all of them... and I want you here with me if you're up for it?"

There was an unmistakable desperation in his tone that told me he needed me to be by his side, and it made me immediately nod my comply to him.

Emily overheard this and offered to find me a sweater of hers now that the sun was setting and the chill of the night air was creeping in around us. She soon handed me a white knit cardigan. I thanked her and slipped it on as Jacob sat down, and motioned for me to join him. His eyes alone told me he dreaded this meeting.

Embry and Leah returned a few short minutes later, and it appeared that Embry was still hot under the collar about Paul, as he trudged his way up over the porch steps and hunkered down by Sam at the end of the picnic table. His gaze avoiding Jacobs like the plague. If I knew Jacob... and I did... I would say it was safe to assume he had already chewed Embry out before arriving here. The shameful look on Embry's face pretty much confirmed this for me, while we waited for Leah to take her place by Seth. She sat down and wrapped an arm around her little brother. I rarely saw this tentative and nurturing side of her, but it was certainly becoming of her when she did show it.

Jacob kissed me and stood, as he cleared his throat, awaiting for the chatter among the other to cease... which it did almost immediately.

"I came here tonight to talk to all of you. To have a meeting that I've dreaded, but known it to be necessary. As many of you know... Paul has brought it to my attention that he wishes to leave the pack... to be on his own."

Jacob paused and I could clearly see the indifference he felt about this as he tried to continue.

"I've called this meeting for two reasons... One is for Paul and the other is for myself. We've been running extra patrol shifts for months... in an effort to keep ahead of any new threat should it come our way now that my sist-... Rachel... is one of the cold ones. This is not something that impacts just me... it impacts each and every one of you... and your families, too. I will not turn a blind eye to the threat that Rachel has become... nor do I expect any of you to ever ignore what she is now."

"She was one of us, first." Sam meekly added, his eyes reluctant to meet Jacobs solid gaze.

"Yes she was..."

"Are the orders still the same for any of them? To destroy first and ask later?"

My gaze wandered to Paul, who had visibly paled at just the mention of it. His look growing to be anguished now.

"They are." Jacob declared. His voice full of authority, as it rang out over the pack. "But I feel we are divided on this... and I cannot have that. So I want to hear from you... from my pack... You each will get the chance here tonight to express your worries or thoughts upon this. My main concern is what's best for this pack and for our families here on the Reservation."

"Absolutely." Embry added, with a slight edge to his tone.

"The floor is open for discussion... one at a time." Jacob declared, coming to sit down next to me, his hand reaching for mine and securely lacing our fingers together.

There was a brief silence before Sam finally spoke up. His words spoken from a place of real concern.

"There's been two new additions to the pack... and no one knows if more are coming. This fact alone tells us that an imminent threat is near... even if we are unaware of it right now."

"But Rachel and the rest of the Cullen's are in Alaska for fucks sake!" Leah spit.

"Spirits could know something we don't!" Seth added.

"They very well could." Jacob confirmed, tightening his hand in mine.

"With that being said... keeping Rachel far from these lands seems to be what's needed for now." Sam sighed, clasping his hands in front of him on the picnic table.

"For now?" Leah countered in question.

"You know what I meant!" Sam bitterly bit back.

"No... it sounds like you yourself are one of the divided ones Jacob just talked about... prompting this meeting..." She replied, looking at him in disbelief.

I felt Jacobs body go rigid as he met Sam's dark gaze. The look they shared, enough to raise goosebumps on my arms.

"Sam..." Jacob hedged, seeing Emily curl herself around his arm, and kiss him on the cheek, before hastily heading into the house to check on a sleeping Levi.

"You have made the choice to keep her out of Washington, Jacob. I respect this command from you."

"But do you agree with it?" Leah asked, her heading turning back to see Jacob's hardened expression.

"I don't have to." Sam declared. "Jacob is the true leader of this pack-"

"Would you have made the same call?" Embry boldly asked, looking between the two superiors with peeked curiosity.

Sam got up from the table, looking to Jacob for permission to leave the conversation. Jacob denied the request and gestured for him to sit back down.

"Answer the question, Sam." Leah demanded.

Sam rubbed his hands over his eyes and soon crossed his brawny arms over his chest with a sigh of dread. "I respect Jacob's leadership, Leah. That's all the answers I will give you. Stop trying to start something!"

"I'm not!" She yelled in protest. "I just think we have a right to know what you think... what you would have done!"

Sam shot Jacob a look of remorse before he even opened his mouth again, and it made my eyes water to bare witness to his reverent respect for Jacob now. There was a time that kind of respect between them would have only been a fleeting wish.

"Rachel Black was taken against her will and forced to become what we were made to destroy. This is a fate I would wish on no one and her loss to this Reservation... to this family... has caused sadness and grief for all of us... but none more than for our own Alpha... and Paul. We have all felt the lingering pain from each of them. It filters through all of us. The immeasurable pain that Paul alone has suffered over these past six months, has been torturous, and while I am one who will greatly miss him... my brother... my friend... I cannot blame him for trying to leave that kind of torment behind. Can any of you truly hold it against him?"

Silence.

No one uttered a single reply as Sam gestured to Jacob.

"Jacob has continued to be the strong leader he was always meant to be, in spite of all this... which is more than I could have ever said for myself. If I were placed in his position, I truthfully don't know that I could hold my ground the way he has. I admire his strength and courage for doing so. I know many of you feel we should be able to find a compromise for Rachel... but that compromise comes with a high risk and I would ask each of you to look within yourselves for the right answer here. Would you place your own at risk? Would you want our land to be hanging in the balance? Rachel may be better than she was... she may have her blood lust under control, but as you all know ... with their kind... you cannot trust them. They are killers... they seek to slaughter... seek to drain life from many."

"So there is no way for us to help Paul?" Seth asked in a small voice.

"There are ways ... yes... but they are risky and Paul has made his choice-"

"I know my options, Seth." Paul kindly offered to him with a nod.

Seth went mute and looked to Jacob. His glossy eyes pleading with him in such a way that I found myself overcome with emotion in the moment.

Both he and Leah had lost enough this year and I hated to think of him losing anyone else.

"What if the imprint was replaced for Paul? Or... broken?" Leah suggested.

"Enough, Leah." Paul irritably sighed, placing his head in his hands.

"If we met with the council.-"

"I said stop!" Paul yelled, getting to his feet. "I still feel the pull to her... to be with her... to go to her. That's why I'm leaving. If she came here... ever... I'm not confident enough that I would be able to destroy her and that puts you, my fellow pack mates, at risk."

"Neither am I..." Seth meekly admitted, as Leah threw her arm around him for comfort.

"You'll go on command... on instinct." Sam clarified. "But it's not something any of us will enjoy."

"So if that's why you're really leaving, Paul... then you should stay, cause none of us are anymore prepared then you are to destroy her." Seth chimed in again. "You should just stay here with us... talk to the council, or-"

"Seth..." Jacob sighed. "He's made his choice and we need to respect it and be supportive... if that's what he still desires."

"Is this what you really want, Paul? To leave?" Quil asked, his somber tone matching the glum expressions worn around the picnic table now.

"I... feel it's what's best." Paul replied, his gaze downcast as he spoke his hushed reply.

Jacob released my hand and stood at the head of the table, his stance rigid as he took in the morale of the pack. This would be a big loss for them.

"Paul... We've had our differences in the past and we haven't always seen eye to eye on things, but as your Alpha and your friend... I want you to know you don't have to make this final decision tonight... not without taking some more time to really think about it. I've arranged the schedule so you won't need to patrol for the next week... take as much time as you need. We've got it covered and whatever you decide... we'll support you ... as your pack... and as your family. I say this, because I don't want you to rush when you're making this choice and then live to regret it later. I would be lying if I said we didn't need you... we do need you. You're a vital and irreplaceable part of this pack, Paul."

Paul raised his head and I could see his firm swallow when he got to his feet and shook Jacob's hand. "Thanks, man."

"We all want you to stay, Paul... but we understand your hardship with this. We're here if you need us." Sam offered to him, before Paul headed for the darkening forest.

We all watched him as he disappeared into the woods, and the deafening silence that followed was loud and unsettling. I didn't want him to go... none of us did.

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Please feel free to let me know what you think about Paul's possible departure from the pack. Do you think he should stay or leave? As always, thank you all for your continued support of this story and I look forward to hearing from you! :-) Till next time!**


	102. Chapter 104

**A/N: Hello again everyone! So a lot of you have some differing opinions about whether Paul should stay or leave and I've greatly enjoyed your feedback! I hope you enjoy this chapter as it is done in Paul's point of view. I also want to assure all of you that I will see this story through to the very end and there will indeed be a HEA to look forward to. ;-) As always... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; FOUR**

**(PPOV)**

I needed to see her... to touch her... to be able to speak to her. The intense longing to have Rachel near me only got worse as the days wore on, and deep down I knew that leaving the pack appeared to be my only option. I hated to let them down... hated to see the hurt on Bella's face and the disappointment that plagued my brothers now, because of my choice to head out on my own, but I felt cornered in the worst way. Under any other normal circumstance, being cornered was the kind of hostile challenge I looked for and eagerly accepted, but not like this... not this one.

How the hell do you force yourself to feel something else? How can you make yourself stop thinking about the one your insides are screaming for... the one your supposed to loathe now... but can't.

I had tried so many times to forget her... so many times that I lost count. I had even tried to intentionally catch the curious gaze of a stranger in the supermarket a few days back, hoping that one of them would be her replacement, Stupid as it may sound, I desperately wanted someone to capture me the way she had... For the spirits to fix this for me, maybe right their wrongs for once, but as it turned out, no such damn luck.

Sure, I got a few winks and even a few phone numbers, but that was about it. None of the left me speechless and in awe the way Rachel had. I felt as if it was a lost cause altogether. I had received my soul mate and now she was one of them... one of the cold ones.

Jacob was determined to change my mind when he first got wind of me leaving. I told him face to face and saw his eyes narrow at me in strong disapproval. He offered me any other way out... more time... a break from pack life for a while... maybe even a vacation... but nothing appealed to me. I was damn set to leave ... until I saw Bella's reaction... and until I heard the emotion in Seth's voice over at Sam's tonight. Poor kid guy had lost his mother and despite my arrogant ways, he still looked up to me a lot. I knew this and it made me feel like a selfish ass to tell him I was leaving now. What the hell else was I supposed to do?

Staying here and longing for her was risky. I would feel the undeniable pull every day and I feared that it would only get worse as time went on. Bella and Jacob had hope it would get better, but I was the one who couldn't sleep... I was the one who wanted to be numb all the time... I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I would lose myself and go to her.

Alaska wasn't that far away... not for me and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't pondered calling Esme again myself... just to be able to speak to Rachel... to hear her voice. I knew Jacob's concern for safety was valid, but I couldn't fully see the harm in placing a phone call to her.

Deep down, I knew that If I gave in to this pull and went to her, I'd end up feeling like I had betrayed my own and I wasn't so certain I could live with that either. I knew Rachel couldn't come back to Washington. It would trigger more to phase... set the fever in for kids who were far too young to understand or deal with the heavy weight of being part of this pack. I didn't want that on my conscience.

The hurt look on the face of my brothers when we were all at Sam's earlier, was hard to ignore and when Jacob offered me more time, I took it... knowing I needed it. That's how I wound up here... sitting like an idiot on Billy Blacks front porch. He knew of my presence and I waited for him to open the front door to me, the same way he had been doing for weeks. I came here when things were the hardest and he had become someone I vented to. Jacob knew this and I could tell that it only proved to rub salt in the wound for him. He and his father barely spoke, but Billy would talk to me for hours and this cut Jacob... deep. I felt guilty for taking some solace in Billy's home on nights like these, and would try to to switch the subject to Jacob as often as I could, but the moment I did so, Billy would cease the discussion and grow mute. It used to make me sad, but over the last few days... it had only proven to make me more angry. Jacob was suffering in his own way, I knew firsthand how raw he felt some days, I could sense it whenever we ran patrol together. His agony would wash over all of us and it made patrol unbearable for me at times. This was one of the shitty things that came with being in a pack. Your emotions were not your own.

"Back again I see?" Billy's rough voice called out, as I stood and walked into his home.

"Yeah..."

"Thought you had some kind of meeting?"

"We did... it's over."

Billy's eyes grew wide with my remark. "So ... you are leaving then?"

I shook my head and sat down at the table where a cold beer was handed to me.

"You're not leaving? Then what the hell are ya' gonna do?" Billy asked, taking a long haul from the whiskey bottle in his hand.

"I don't know, Billy." I earnestly replied, popping the top from the Bud Light in front of me.

"Sure you do... you're letting the thoughts of others screw with your line of thinking. Can't do that."

"By others... you mean Jacob, right?" I scoffed, meeting his terse glare from across the table.

Once again, and just like the dozens of times before, he went mute. His hands shaking as he slammed the whiskey bottle down on the table.

I looked around and took notice for the first time, that the many pictures he had of Jacob were now missing from the walls of his quaint home. I gulped the beer down and felt my temper rise, as I slid the empty bottle his way.

"Got another?" I asked.

He nodded and gestured for the fridge. I wasted no time in greedily consuming the second. My eyes bulging when I noticed how bare his fridge door was now, too. Not a single picture on it. I shook my head, resting it there on the cool door as I gritted my teeth.

Billy's behavior was asinine and down right wrong, and I was tired of him treating Jacob like he was to blame for what had happened to Rachel.

"What are you gonna do?" I heard him ask me again, as I whirled around and met his angry gaze with a stern one of my own.

"I said I don't know, Billy. Why are you asking me again?"

"Because you do know."

My patience with him grew thin as I gestured back to the fridge door. "Where the hell are all your family photos? You know... the ones that used to line nearly every damn inch of this house?!"

He went mute again and whirled himself abruptly around in his chair to leave the kitchen.

I took three long strides and stood in front of him, blocking his way.

"Move." He angrily spat my way.

"No."

"I welcome you into my home countless times and this is the thanks I get?" He yelled, his tone bitter with every word.

"Look around you!" I shouted back. "This isn't a home, Billy? You've removed anything that even slightly resembles that!"

"Get out!" He shouted, trying to maneuver his way around me.

"You're his father!" I yelled, seeing him stop his attempts at my harsh words. "You're punishing him over and over again ... for something that wasn't his fault! You think Rachel would want you to-"

"Don't you dare speak for my daughter. You never even knew her!"

His words sliced me open and though my chest ached with every breath I took now, I shouted back at him anyway.

"You're right, Billy! I never got the damn chance to! But that isn't Jacob's fault and neither is it yours! You have the kind of son who comes here and checks on you before he goes to his own damn house every night, and you don't even have the decency to hardly speak to him! What the hell are you trying to do!?"

His eyes were full of a hatred I had never witnessed from him as he spoke his cold reply.

"I never asked him to-"

"You don't have to!" I bit back, gesturing to the bare walls all around us. "When did you do this? Must of been recent cause I was just here a few nights ago and your house was still a home then."

"I took them down late last night... when Charlie stopped in. I couldn't get them all down myself cause of these useless legs getting in the way, so Charlie helped me."

Recognition flooded me, as I glanced at my watch, noting it was nearly midnight now.

"Jacob hasn't seen this yet?" I asked him in true disbelief.

He didn't reply. I walked over to the couch where boxes of them were laying, and began hurriedly riffling through them.

"Hey!" Billy yelled. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"Putting them back where they belong. Lucky for me you left the nails in. I can guess where most of them went, and hang them back up before Jacob stops in to check on you."

"Put them down!" Billy shouted, wheeling over me to and physically trying to take the box from my hands. "Their not yours to touch!"

"Do you know what this will do to him? When he see's what you've done! The guilt he feels already over you is enough!"

Billy dropped the box at my words, his anger making his face age before me.

"He doesn't feel guilt.. more like pity. There's a difference."

"You don't know. I do... I run with him, Billy. I feel it... all of it... and it's fucking enough to make me want to scream."

He backed himself away from me, his eyes on the box I hauled back up from the floor, staring at it with remorse.

I silently began hanging the many photos back up, feeling his eyes on me and not caring how angry he was. These photos had been on these walls for as long as I could remember, and that's where they belonged... even now.

The time ticked away as I hung them all back up in a hurry, I even managed to put the ones back on the fridge in time, before I heard the anticipated footsteps on the gravel outside. I hunkered down at the kitchen table, just as the front door swung open and Jacob walked in.

"I didn't know you'd be here." He stated, looking toward Billy who sat in the living room, not uttering a word.

"I just got here..." I lied. "Needed a place to-"

"It's fine, Paul. Stay here if he'll have ya."

Though his face was fixed and seemingly emotionless, his voice wasn't as sturdy.

"Thanks." I replied, gesturing for him to sit with me.

He shook his head in protest. "It's best I not stay... He gets irritated... and being that worked up isn't good for his health. Do you know if he ate today? Bella dropped off a full pan of lasagna for him night before last."

He pulled open the fridge and nodded upon seeing a section of the lasagna missing.

"Guess that means he ate." I muttered, feeling my temper flare again, as I watched Jacob throw a load of clothes in the washer for Billy and turn the TV on in the living room. "You really come here every night?"

Jacob nodded and handed the remote to me as he headed for the front door to leave. "Every night."

He was almost outside when a hoarse voice called out to him from the living room.

"Jacob..."

He stopped where he was, lingering in the doorway, as it came again. This time with an urgency behind it.

"Jacob..."

I stood and watched as Billy slowly wheeled himself into the kitchen. His eyes on the floor beneath him as he went.

"I'm gonna go." I offered.

"No... stay." Billy replied, raising his head to meet my gaze. "The both of you... Stay..."

"Bella's waiting for me at home-"

"I know. What I have to say won't take long."

I reluctantly sat back down at the table seeing Jacob do the same. The both of us exchanging unsure glances, as Billy wheeled himself closer.

"She's never coming back is she?" He finally spoke, after several unsettling minutes of silence.

I saw the hurt creep into Jacobs face and even though it cut me just as deep, I answered for him.

"No... Billy. She isn't coming back. She can't."

"... and you're not leaving..." He replied, raising his head to us.

"I don't know-"

"You're not leaving the pack, Paul. It wasn't a question." He clarified, leaving both Jacob and I at a loss momentarily.

"Billy... I-"

He silenced me with a wave of his hand and a shake of his head. "I have called the elders about this... have spoken to some of the members of the council, too. You can be free from this, Paul. There is indeed a way to break the imprint from Rachel... to start over."

His words left me speechless as I glanced over to Jacob, his expression matching my own.

"I've known about it since last week and I didn't tell you, because I wasn't entirely it could work, but after talking more to the council this morning, I now know that it will. It's something the elders have only discussed and have yet to bare witness to, but after telling them about your situation further, they are eager to met with you... with all of you. They have asked the presence of your entire pack be there, Jacob."

I stared at him in disbelief as Jacob stood from the table. "When?" He asked, determination etched in his face already.

Billy glanced over at the clock on the wall, seeing it read nearly one in the morning as he answered Jacob.

"High noon... today."

Jacob glanced down at me, looking for some sort of a sign of what his next move should be and considering I had yet to say anything, he was left waiting.

"It will work, Paul. Trust in the spirits. The elders and the council are certain they will guide you through... till the imprint is broken. I wish I had told you the moment you walked in here tonight, but I selfishly wanted to keep you connected to Rachel... because I feared it was the only tangible link to her that remained and without it... I would just want to die... but then ..." He paused, his voice becoming thick, as he cleared his throat and looked up to Jacob. The two of them locking in a gaze I hadn't seen them share in months... "...but then I realized... that I still have you Jacob... my son... to live for. I'm sorry for the way I've mistreated you. I'll understand if you can't forgi-"

"I already forgave you, dad... months ago."

Billy nodded and grew silent as I pondered his news.

"What does this entail?" I asked him, seeing Jacob begin to pace anxiously by the front door, looking as if he was ready to bolt for the forest any second.

"The council will fill you all in when you meet them at noon. This is why they have requested you to be accompanied by the rest of the pack and by your Alpha. They will need to be present in order to bare proper witness, and you will need them for their support, Paul."

His words had me thinking that this process would be less than pleasant for me.

"Is this something you're willing to try? Before you leave La'Push?" Billy asked, glancing over to Jacob who was eagerly waiting by the front door. His hands nearly twitching while they awaited my answer.

I had already been through the worst kind of agony without Rachel and I figured anything else had to less painful than that. If there really was a way for the pull of the imprint to be broken and a way for me to get my life back without leaving my brothers behind, then I had to try.

I simply nodded to them and saw Jacob do so in return before he ran outside. Billy and I listened, as a loud and forest shattering howl soon ripped it's way through the stillness of the night.


	103. Chapter 105

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Please feel free to review and tell me what you think about the upcoming meeting with the pack and the council! Love hearing from all of you! :-) As always... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; FIVE**

**(JPOV)**

I was on all fours and flying through the forest, before a full minute had passed from leaving Paul at my fathers place. His nod of agreement was the only sign I needed from him, and when I saw it, I took it and ran like hell for the pack. My mind filling with Rachel as I neared the Lumber Yard. It wasn't long before my thoughts were mixed with that of the others.

_"Is it true, Jake? Is there really a way for the imprint to be broken?"_ Seth huffed, while I rounded the the last bend.

_"Can't be..."_ Leah scoffed, her tone thick with doubt.

"_This might be the only way for Paul to stay here with us."_ Quil added, with a solid huff, as I approached them.

"_Billy's talked to the council... and it is true. I called you all here so you'd know that each of you have a responsibility to be at that meeting at high noon today! No one is late... understood?"_ I commanded._  
_

They all nodded to me in unison, their wolf gazes plagued with an uncertainty that had my mind filling with the many ways this could go so fucking wrong.

_"She has to be there with him, right? Rachel needs to be there?"_ Leah asked, with a low snarl.

_"We'll find out at the meeting. The council don't like taking chances. They won't have her there unless it's absolutely needed for Paul's sake."_

_"What if they do, Jake? What if she has to come back here?"_ Brady nervously asked.

_"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."_ I huffed in reply._ "We won't know anything till we hear what the council has to say."_

_"He could change his damn mind you know ... fickle pup that he is..."_ Leah retorted.

_"What?"_ I snapped at her, my muzzle pulled back at her calloused reply.

She straightened her form at the sound of my disapproval, her head hanging low in shame now.

_"I'm just stating that he could see her... Rachel... and change his mind on wanting the imprint to be broken. He could run with them... back to Alaska for all we know. Then what?"_

_"How damn kind and loyal of you to belittle and mock this agony for Paul... to doubt the decisions of one of your own so much... Real fucking classy, Leah."_ I barked, feeling my temper flood me from her show of arrogance.

She went silent as the others began to pace with nervous energy all around me.

_"Can we trust the Cullen's still? They'll have to escort her back here if warranted."_ Seth huffed in question.

"_I know... Esme, Emmet, and Rosalie have aided us in the past, and we have no reason to be weary of them for this event. They'll help... if needed."_

_"You're certain of this?"_ Sam asked, promptly stepping in front of me.

_"Yes."_ I firmly replied to him.

I was confident in the allegiance we had with Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. They had helped us before when we had needed it the most, and I didn't foresee this time going any different.

_"What if she tries to attack us? I mean... technically she's a Cullen now and-"_ Embry began, but quickly back pedaled when he heard my angry and menacing growl. _"Well... I mean ... she's still-..."_

"_What he said is true, Jacob. She is a Cullen now!"_ Leah bit out, her tone of blatant disrespect proving to rub me the wrong way. I let out a viscous roar in reply and saw her cower under the heavy weight of it.

"_I agree!"_ Jared huffed.

_"Leah... Jared... stop it! That's enough from the both of you!"_ Sam shouted, as I slowly backed away from her, feeling my temper ignite to new levels. _"Rachel will always be.-"_

_"Oh would you just shut up, Sam!"_ Jared suddenly barked his way._ "She isn't one of us. She's a damn leech, bro! I for one, think we should take her out, just to be safe."_

I whipped my head in his direction and in the next moment, he was on the ground beneath me. I had charged him and was about to tear him a new one when Sam nudged into me.

_"Jacob! Don't! He wasn't thinking straight. All of this has us on edge. Back away..."_

I slowly moved off of Jared, my teeth barred and my wolf form shaking with fury, as I backed away from him. He cautiously rolled and got his legs under him with a solid huff.

The conversation between us went silent then, none of them wanted to express anything else for fear of my reaction. I tried to reign in the anger, but failed and found myself struggling to even stay there. I wanted to run... to just get the hell away and be alone for a while... but I had a duty to them.

_"I believe what Jared was trying to say..."_ Seth soon timidly began..._ "... was that if Rachel does have to come back here... on our land again for the imprint to be truly broken from Paul... that puts everyone... including Bella... at risk... and how do we know that Rachel's even as controlled as they say she is now? They could be adding some things for good measure?"_

My head swarmed with the images of Bella, remembering exactly just how radiant her smile had been when we finally picked out the paint for the nursery.

_"We don't take** any** damn risk...** We protect our own.**.. I plan to call Charlie when I get home, before Bella wakes up. I'm gonna see if he can't get her and Emily out of town for the afternoon... just in case. If this is something the council decides to act upon immediately, I want Bella nowhere near this place, and I assume Sam wants the same for Em."_

_"Damn straight."_ Sam huffed, hunkering himself down in the mud.

_"I'll be sure to let you know what Charlie says as soon as I get in touch with him."_

He nodded and turned his attention to Seth who had let out a whine of unease.

_"What is it, Seth?"_ Sam prompted him.

_"The Cullen's have adopted Rachel as one of their own now. They have for months... if things go South... fast... and they see us as a threat to Rachel... which we will be if she should lose control while here... whose to say that the three of them won't turn on us?"_

His voiced concern settled over me with palpable weight, and I knew I'd be a fucking fool not to hear him at a time like this.

_"He makes a good point."_ I replied, swiping my paws on the muddy ground beneath me._ "They could switch their allegiance entirely... come at us... try to stop us from getting to Rachel."_

_"What about Billy?"_ Quil asked._  
_

_"I want him with Charlie, too. But I know it'll be a hell of a fight to get him to go. He wants to see her again, I'm certain of it."_

_"I don't know, Jake. The more we discuss this, the more I think that the council will change their minds about breaking the imprint for Paul if she is required to be here for it to work. They won't like taking the risk anymore than we will."_ Sam added.

_"We go to the meeting and we here what they have to say. That's all we can do for right now. We owe Paul at least that much... agreed?"_

They all nodded and huffed their reply as I turned and headed for the woods again... back for home. If I hurried, I could slip in and call Charlie before Bella got up. This was the hope anyway.

"_Noon!"_ I roared to them, as I began to run full tilt for home. The dense greenery of the forest, transforming into one big blur around me as I went.

When I reached my front porch, I pulled on my tattered jeans and quietly unlocked the front door, slipping in and hearing the stillness of the early morning settle itself comfortably over me.

I checked on Bella, seeing her buried in the comforters on our bed, her hand resting on her stomach in the most natural way. I leaned against the door frame, taking in the view for just a few more minutes, and realizing in that moment that it had been nearly a week since I'd fallen asleep with her at night. I had immersed myself in pack duty lately, and while Bella had been supportive about the whole thing, I knew how much it bothered her to be here alone at night. Over the last six months, I hadn't been able to sleep through a full night. I was always waking up sometime after midnight and found it hard to get back to sleep. There were times I would wake up in a wash of sweat and biting back a scream, as another nightmare about Rachel killing my father had found me. They were all graphic and too damn vivid for my liking. This made sleep a definite challenge for me. Bella had been there with me every time I bolted upright in our bed. She'd wake up with me and remind me where I was, her hand finding mine and her mere breathing, a comfort to me.

I hated to wake her up with this every night and I'd even offered to sleep on the couch, so she could get a solid nights rest for once, but she would hear none of it. Her caring nature had never ceased to amaze me.

Since the incident of her phone call to Esme at Paul's, we'd been a little off and I could see how much she genuinely just wanted to help. It wasn't that I didn't admire her for the effort, but I didn't want this mess anywhere near her. As it was, I was always watching her, being sure she didn't trip and fall or cut herself making dinner. Bella wasn't known for grace and this certainly wasn't news to me. She'd always been a little clumsy and I guess that's what I was for... to steady her when she tripped... to guide her steps a little when she needed to be balanced... but truthfully, these days had me thinking the roles had somehow been switched. Lately more than ever, she had been the steady anchor for my soul.

I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face now, as I thought of the many unexpected food cravings she'd been having lately. They ranged from ice cream and Hershey chocolate bars to pickles and grilled cheese sandwiches at midnight. I had been sure to keep the cupboards full for her, so if she ever got such a craving when I wasn't here... she wouldn't have to go out to the store herself in the middle of the night.

Her moods were what fluctuated the most as of lately and to be honest... seeing her get flustered at the smallest of things only made me chuckle. She would always apologize after getting snappy with me, and I would just shrug and kiss her in reply, cause I truthfully didn't have the heart to be anything but amused with her right now. All of this was new for her... for the both of us... and it was a journey I was excited to take with her... only her.

Two nights ago had been a real doozy though. She was fresh out of the shower and hunting through her dresser drawers to find something comfortable to wear to bed, which was a challenge all on it's own, considering one minute she was freezing, and the next she was stripping from being too hot, with no complaints from me either, I might add. I was putting away the dishes when I heard her moan in frustration and come barging out of the bedroom, her eyes watering when she met my inquisitive stare.

"Nothing fits me... anymore." She shrugged in defeat, securing the bath towel under her arms again. I shut the cupboard and crossed the kitchen, seeing the sadness in her face, and becoming determined to erase every trace of it from her.

"That's not entirely true." I whispered, taking her by the hand and drawing her in for a kiss. "I fit you... always have... always will."

She offered me half a smile, as I dug out a pair of my clean sweatpants and a T - shirt, handing them to her with a grin. Her smile became wider when she took them from me and I couldn't help but chuckle at her sudden turn around.

"These will swim on me..." She sighed.

"They'll be fine. Trust me... you'll be more comfortable..."

"... sure you don't mind?"

I shook my head at her foolish question and kissed her again, before she retreated back into the bathroom to change.

"What's mine is yours, remember?"

She nearly laughed at this and it made my heart warm to see the genuine grin now plastered on her face.

I had greatly missed falling asleep with her over this past week and felt a small ache in my chest, as I approached her now, seeing that she has curled up with my sweatshirt. I retrieved my cell phone from the nightstand, and sent Charlie a text asking him if we could meet before he went in for his 8 a.m. shift at the station. That was only a mere five hours from now and I felt my skin heat from just the thought of Bella being anywhere near the Reservation when the meeting took place. I wanted her away from here, somewhere safe for the day, and I could only hope that Charlie would get back to me in time, and help me figure out a way to lure her, my stubborn father, and Emily out of town. I slowly leaned in, and pulled my sweatshirt from her grasp. She barely flinched as I laid myself down with her, drawing her over to me with a sigh of contentment, and hearing her heartbeat pound away and mix with the rapid flutter of another. I laid my hand over her own that still rested on her stomach, feeling her fingers twitch at the contact while she turned herself further into me.

I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of the two beating hearts that were my entire world... The hearts that I would fiercely protect from any threat... from any harm... even if that threat turned out to come from my own sister.


	104. Chapter 106

**A/N: Chapter is done in Rachel's point of view... HAPPY READING ;-)  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; SIX**

**(RPOV)**

My hands dug into the marshy ground beneath me as I landed on the other side of the river bed. My eyes scanning the trees as the rain began to fall from above. I had no intention of coming here by myself but when I heard Esme whispering frantically to Emmett late last night, I had made up my mind to leave when they were off hunting and to run back to the place that my unbeating heart missed.

I hadn't even had the time to dash up the first tree, in desperate search for some kind of cover, before I heard the loud howls linger out through the stilled forest of the night. Coming here on my own had been something that I deemed as needed, yet knew was nearly a suicide mission. My brother would find me and he would order his devoted pack to hunt me down and destroy me, and I had resolved long before my feet had ever graced La' Push grounds that I would not fight them back... I would not harm my brother nor would I fight those who were of his loyal pack for doing the only damn job they were created for... protecting humans from the likes of a monster such as myself. I would run away from them until I couldn't and when they found me, I would surrender... willingly and without malicious intent.

I had come here to see him... just one more time before the inevitable fate that had always been my own, was finally sealed.

I had come to my sacred and now forbidden lands to see _my father._ I knew his eyes would never behold me again in the same proud manor they once had, but I needed him to know that none of this was his fault, and that his soul should rest easy for the remainder of his days here on this unforgiving earth. My mother would want it no other way and I was determined to follow through with what I was certain she would have wanted. My father had suffered enough loss in his life.

My brother was a fierce leader. I had seen it the day he came for me in that god forsaken basement of the Cullen's old lair, and despite the way my fate had turned out, I had never been more proud of him. For he had become the man I always knew he would be. The kind of man who would lay his very life out for others. The kind of man who possessed the devout character and a moral compass that many would come to envy after. I had no doubt that Jacob would be the kind of husband and father that would make both my mother and my father immensely proud. He was the one my father had worried most about right after mom had died. He had worried that Jacob, being so young when she passed, wouldn't recover after her death the way Rebecca and I had.

If my mother could only see him now...

I was ripped from my thoughts when another howl drew near. They were getting close and I had to move while I still had the time to.

I flitted up the large tree, going higher and higher until the branches thinned at the top, and the breeze swayed me in the nights wind as I clung to the wood.

I could see the fog that began to creep in around the base of the forest, it's thick presence, only aiding me further in arriving at my sought out destination. I perched myself on the branch closest to me and waited for them to appear below... which they did in a vast hurry.

I saw the silver fur of one glimmer radiantly in the moonlight as I peered out over them. I flew from tree to tree, hearing the howls as they descended upon the forest and doing my best to stay ahead of them. I didn't want to face Jacob. I knew it would be worse than any other agony. To see his hatred and feel the weight of it for the first time, made me wish I was already destroyed now.

Inside... I felt as if I was...

They say that a vampire can lose their humanity, too. Emmett had told me this weeks ago and I had to admit that at a time like this, it sounded real appealing. I often wandered what it would be like to not care, to simply take the lives of others and not even bat an eyelash at their screams. It would certainly make me less weary of returning to my home. If I had nothing but malicious intent, this entire process would have been much smoother.

I could hear the steady beating of paws into the earth below me , as the pack ran like wildfire spreading through the forest. They knew this area well, like the back of their hands and I was swiftly running our of time to reach my father.

The closer I got to the small red house of my childhood, the faster I flew... from tree to tree. I heard his voice and stopped, as I clung to a sturdy branch that swayed high up in the wind.

"What do you mean you didn't want me there? I had every damn right to be at that council meeting! I'm a valued member!" My father yelled.

"I mean I didn't want you in the middle of this, dad! I know your place there and I respect it, but the meeting went just as I thought it would... They have to have her there in order to break the imprint for him. She has to be present and I'm not so sure you're ready for that! To see her!" Jacob offered back in solemn, yet edgy reply. "I have to go! I don't have time to discuss this with you right now. The pack needs me! I'll be back later."

I saw him emerge from the house, and run for the forest, his speed even on two legs, fast and agile. Just the sight of him made me wish I could be anything other than what I was so I could hug him once more time, and tell him how much I loved him and dad. My father wheeled out after him, only to see Jacob stop mid run, His entire body freezing in place, as the wind blew through my hair and the tree I was in began to sway.

I froze myself, seeing my brother slowly turn and look in my direction.

He smelled me...

I watched as the figures of the others from his pack broke free from the border of the trees that lined my former back yard. Snarls left them... all but one...Paul.

He huffed furiously, sinking down to the ground, as if trying to rid himself of something invisible but something impenetrable... something as strong as an imprints pull. My fathers eyes grew wide when Jacob demanded he go back inside.

My fathers reply was then sturdy and defiant. "No."

I knew I would never make it to his front door before they tore me apart, and against better judgement, I flew to the next tree, seeing my brothers eyes light up with recognition, as his entire body began to shake with his words.

"I know you're here, Rachel... I can_ smell_ you. Show yourself."

His command was loud and I felt my hands dig deeper into the tree limb, as I scanned the distance from the back yard to my father. It wasn't far... and for me it would take no time at all to reach him, but I had a feeling Jacob wouldn't allow me to even come close. He would have no way of knowing my intent here and as the leader he was, it was within him to always protect first and ask later.

The sound of screeching tires halted my thoughts as a cruiser pulled in. I was surprised to see Charlie Swan step out with his uniform on and his eyes wide, as he saw the pack and Jacob on the lawn. His presence startling me enough to alert me to the rushing sound now filling my ears... The sound of blood humming through veins. I felt the clawing burn at my throat as I hissed aloud, my hands digging harshly into the bark of the tree before me. I focused my eyes on chief swan, remembering all the times I had seen him as a younger girl... remembering how much he had been there for my father and us kids after mom had died.

Charlie and Jacob shared a look that told me he knew what was happening, and I heard Chief Swans footsteps trudging across the lawn, as he moved toward my father, and began to attempt to wheel him inside.

"No!" Billy yelled. "She's here, Charlie. I have to see her!"

"You don't need to see this, Billy. Please... as your friend... I'm begging you to let me take you inside right now."

The pack suddenly began to roar as movement flew past me on the ground below, and headed straight for them. Jacob phased and was on all fours as Emmett stopped directly in front of him, his hand raised in a threat to him.

"I know she's here! What did you do? Where is she?" He hissed. Paul came to the front then with a roar, pushing into Jacobs side as a sign of a united front. The others began to descend upon Emmett, as he hissed and backed himself away from their large returning threat.

I jumped out of the tree just as a hand caught my arm.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Esme harshly hissed at me. "This is gonna start something we can't finish, Rachel!"

"I don't want your help!" I hissed back.

"They'll destroy you."

"Let them!" I replied, breaking away from her with another hiss and darting toward Emmett. I was stopped by Rosalie who had appeared in front me of me without warning. Her golden eyes, darker and angry now.

"What are you trying to pull here! Jacob will kill you! You're only chance now is to run, Rachel. Run back and don't stop for anything. The wolves will tire eventually."

"Jacob won't." Esme countered in a hiss. "He will run her out of here himself... if he doesn't-"

"Destroy me first." I added, locking eyes with Rosalie and seeing her evident bitterness for the situation I had placed us in. "Let him kill me. I don't want to be this anymore. At least if I'm gone...-"

"Your father is watching from inside that house!" Esme bit back. "Was this your plan all along? A suicide mission."

"Don't you get it!? I hate this! I don't want to be this! Let them end me!"

I took off then without looking back. I saw a wolf dart out after me, it's powerful stride gaining on me, and colliding with me as it tackled me head on. I rolled to the ground and jumped back up to my feet, my hands outstretched and ready, as it roared and shook with fury before me. The stature of this wolf was smaller than the others and I fought the urge to fight back as it plowed into me again, sending me to the ground beneath it. Emmett landed a hard hit to it, knocking the wolf off me. I yelled at him as the wolf roared and found it's footing.

"Don't! Let it be, Emmett!" I shrieked, hearing the wolf's roar recede as I looked to it's radiant form.

"Don't push me, Leah!" Emmett shouted.

I felt my hands tremble as I met her infuriated gaze. "Leah... Harry and Sue's girl..."

My voice was barely audible, as the warm hue of her eyes met the cold transfixing allure of my own.

Emmett stood in front of me, his eyes on her every move.

I pushed him away with a defiant hiss.

"Leave! Just go!" I yelled, seeing Esme approach as Jacob and the others drew closer. Their snarls became louder while Rose closed herself in around Leah. I saw the fury in Leah's form when she charged at Rosalie, the two of them rolling over one another as she tried to get the upper hand on her. Jacob came charging, and I braced myself for his impact, only to feel the wind brush my arm as he came to Leah's aid, and hauled Rosalie off her with his teeth. She fought him while Leah got her stance back, and Emmett ran for Jacob, plowing into him with brutal force.

"Emmett!" I screamed, running for them when the rest of the pack came running for us. Jacob landed on the ground from Emmett's hard hit and then rolled, swiftly getting back up and roaring at him with equal challenge. I threw myself in between them, with a loud and menacing hiss to Emmett.

I saw the shock flicker across Esme's face as I backed myself up toward Jacob, feeling the territorial anger trickle over me.

"Don't touch him!" I hissed in warning, hearing the roars around me begin to cease from my threat. "This isn't on him... it's on me. He's only doing what was born within him... you can't attack them for it. I won't allow it."

Leah offered up a whine as she inched herself closer to me, seeming unsure of what to do.

The raw burn in my throat became prominent, as I soon backed myself away from them, and glanced toward my fathers door.

"I know what you all think of me... that you detest me... because you have to... that's what we are now... enemies. No matter what we were before... I know what we are now. I accept that. If you try to kill me... you won't be met with a fight. I welcome it."

A solid huff from Leah had my head turning, as she looked over to Jacob who was looking at me in a way that made me feel open and exposed. He knew me well... still.

"I won't let them destroy you!" Emmett hissed, as Paul stepped forward his misery etched in his wolf features. The sight of him left me feeling shattered, as I thought of the unendurable torture he had been faced with since my turning.

"It's not up to you, Emmett! If this is what she wants-" Rosalie countered.

"It is." I affirmed.

Leah huffed and backed herself further away as she phased back to human form, completely naked before us.

"What your asking is for us to kill you?" She yelled my way in disbelief.

I simply nodded, purposefully averting Jacobs gaze as I felt the heavy weight of it upon me.

The rest of the wolves grew silent as they hovered close to Jacob, placing a considerable wall between him and myself. It was clear they didn't want him to be the one to destroy me, and I shared their thought.

Fated enemies now or not... he was my brother.

Paul let out a low snarl as Emmet advanced toward me. "You can't really think we're going to leave you here-"

"You are!" I snapped, offering an apologetic look to Esme and Rose, who were staring at me in disbelief. "Ive thought about this... long and hard. What happened to me at Garrett's hand has caused enough suffering."

"You being destroyed won't fix that... it'll only add to it." Leah offered, stepping closer to Paul, who looked as if he would cave in on his own wolf form any second. His entire form violently shook.

"You're here... aren't you? You're here with us... right now... that says something."

Jacob huffed defiantly at Leah's hopeful tone, as he stepped out from them and approached me ... one small stride at a time.

"It's true!" Leah yelled back to him. I saw the hardness in his gaze fade slowly as he took another step my way,. His muzzle low while he huffed and roared. The closer he got, the worse his frame shook with protest. It broke me to see it. He roared again in agitation, only this time it wasn't directed at me, it appeared to be pointed more at himself.

I watched him closely as he met my gaze, his wolf eyes wandering over me with alertness while I cautiously backed myself away. He took another step and I stopped where I stood, seeing the set determination in his gaze as he further approached me.

The burn in my throat grew with his advancement, and I turned my head away from him in near shame as his nose barely grazed the palm of my hand. We both stilled as he rose his head, his gaze now settled on my own. I found the look in his wolf eyes to be unreadable, and I was uncertain if this was the beginning or the end for us... The beginning of what could be or the end of what we had been.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! :-) Please feel free to leave your thoughts in a review! Always love to hear from you! xoxo**


	105. Chapter 107

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN**

**(JPOV)**

I stared into the pair of golden eyes that were solidly glued to mine, as the threatening roars left the pack from behind me. The many thoughts and conversations in my head was enough to drive a sane man mad in seconds. I huffed, shaking my head back and forth in a futile attempt to rid the frantic chaos that swarmed around me, all the while, Rachel stood before me, her hands twitching and her eyes darting to each member of my pack. Fear was clear in her gaze and her stature appeared to shrink before me.

She was cowering away from us.

I felt the whirlwind of conflicting emotions wrap around me, while I tried to block out the acidic and stomach churning scent that invaded my senses like poison. It infuriated me to smell her scent so potently mixed with it now, and it only further reminded me that my sister was no longer the young woman from before. This reminder made my insides feel shredded, as I watched her shy away from us, seeing her face fall with evident shame as an uncontrollable roar left my muzzle from her mere closeness. When her eyes reluctantly met mine once more, I was damn near certain that if she still had the ability to cry, she would have been in tears right now.

I took another hesitant step toward her and felt the raw instinct of the beast take firm hold of me, causing fire to lick its way through me with haste. The palpable weight of it threatened to rule me in the moment, but I desperately fought against the heat.

I had been here many times before, teetering on the edge of letting the beast take full reign, and unlike before, I would not cave to it's power nor would I bow submissively to it's authority. This time... I needed to be in control of it and I would be.

"We can't do this!" Leah suddenly shouted to me, her words desperate when they echoed out around me while she stood still naked and in human form. "It's not right. Think of Billy!"

Paul then sunk down to the marshy ground and I felt his undiluted torment hit me like a speeding freight train. The intensity of his grief had my own stance temporarily faltering, as the waves of his pain racked there way through me. I could see every single image he had of Rachel in his mind, all of them flashing before me like a projector playing on repeat. His howls were ear piercing, and the heartbreak behind them, had the pack swiftly receding away from Rachel, their wolf gazes full of uncertainty. They were clearly torn and looking to me for a definitive sign of direction. I huffed loudly and stood up straighter, as the heat from within me soared to new heights.

"I won't allow you to harm her!" Emmett yelled again, taking a challenging stride toward me. I bared my teeth to him in response and heard Rachel shout to him in loud protest.

"Leave him alone, Emmett! Go! Just go!" She screamed.

Esme's golden hued stare was a mix of hurt and longing, while she stood off to the side with Rosalie, who shared her look of anguish now.

Seth, Quil, and Embry were quick to approach Emmett, their viscous roars filling the night sky as they placed a barrier between us. I inched my head forward, my muzzle barely grazing Rachel's cold hand. Her head lifted and her eyes were wide when they studied mine. The acidic stench made my lungs burn, but I stayed put, and felt her hand tremble with fear as I took another step toward her. The growl in my chest, receded when her hand stilled and her cold fingertips touched the fur just beneath my muzzle.

A loud hiss from Emmett had my head snapping up and glaring at him in equal challenge. Rachel didn't move, she simply stared at me, patiently waiting for me to put an abrupt end the existence she now loathed so much.

She hadn't asked for this...

She never begged for the change the way Bella once had...

She wanted her life back and there was no way for me to ever give it to her. Knowing this made me feel gutted.

I caught sight of movement from behind Rosalie and quickly backed myself away from Rachel, as I scanned the tree line for the source. Rachel looked over her shoulder, and then back to me with an inquisitive gaze while I continued to search.

I took a step forward, and saw the faintest shadow as it soon touched the trees. It's silhouette familiar and unnerving when it approached.

Rachel's voice was small as she questioned me.

"Jacob...?"

I didn't take my eyes from the trees as the figure further emerged. It's appearance surrounded by a familiar haze. A whine left me, as I suddenly met the haunted eyes of my mother. Her face just as timeless as it had been before when she had helped guide me home.

This wasn't real...

I was losing it...

I shook my head profusely and huffed, glancing back to the pack and seeing them all stare blankly ahead, searching for whatever it was I had seen... that they couldn't.

I glanced back to see my mother still there. Her face falling in anguish as her hand reached out for us.

This is what delusion looked like... It had to be... She wasn't really standing there...

This had to be the definition of crazy at it's damn finest...

_She's gone... She isn't real! She isn't there!_

_"Jacob! Who? Who the hell are you talking about? Who isn't there?"_ Quil asked me frantically, his wolf gaze wide with confusion. The thoughts from the others were loud and they mangled together in my head.

"_Where is he looking to?"_ Seth asked.

_"Jacob? Who? I don't see anything. Pull your shit together, Bro."_ Embry huffed my way.

_"Shut it, Emb!"_ Sam barked out.

The sound of my fathers frantic yelling from the front door, had me turning my head to see his wide eyed stare.

Could he see her, too? Did this make us both fucking insane?

"Jacob!"

I saw Charlie trying to coax my father back inside, but he wouldn't budge. Tears fell from his eyes as he pointed to the trees. He said nothing... he didn't have to.

He could see her... We both could.

I saw Rachel's gaze fix on dad as she moved herself away from me, one cautious step at a time.

She was actively trying to put distance between them.

"I tried to tell you, Jacob." Esme softly sighed. "She continues to demonstrate exceptional control. To be truthful... it's unlike anything I've witnessed in years. She shouldn't be this controlled yet. The blood lust should control her... but it doesn't."

Leah then approached Rachel and I huffed to her in protest, but she reached out for Rachel's hand anyway and I heard the roar from Seth as their hands met. They both stood there while my eyes flickered back toward the tree line, seeing my mother still there. Her own hand reaching out and making my chest ache.

Leah's words were simple then and barely audible. "We've already lost too many... Too many of our own... I know it's wrong... but so is all this. Jacob... Can't you see?"

I had never heard her so soft spoken before.

"You're just like her... just like Sue..." Rachel replied, releasing Leah's hand. "You might not fully realize it yet, but you are. She would be so proud."

"Jacob?" Leah asked again, seeing my gaze firmly set ahead of her, as she walked closer to me.

They couldn't see her there. How the hell could they not see her?

I watched Rachel move herself out around Leah, as she fell down to her knees in front of me. Her eyes pleading with me when she spoke.

"Please Jacob... kill me... Don't make me live like this... please. I don't wish to exist anymore."

"NO! SHE'S COMING BACK WITH US!" Emmett yelled, darting toward her. I roared to him, placing myself in front of Rachel and immediately recognizing the protective stance I had now taken over her.

"Emmett..." Esme cautioned, reaching for him. "We need to go now. Our place is no longer here."

"I'm not letting them destroy her!" Emmett shouted back, lunging for Rachel who remained on the ground, unyielding and her head bowed.

I roared again and watched Emmett step back when he heard the ferocity behind it.

"Leave..." Leah stated, her teeth gritted with her tone.

"She is not yours!" Emmett shouted. "She belongs with us now! We have taken her in as one of our own!"

"Please Jacob... Just end this for me." Rachel softly begged me.

I heard Paul before I saw him. His roar of defiance from her plea, loud and fierce as it rumbled through the darkened forest.

He was at my side before another full second had passed and Rachel immediately drew closer to him. Their proximity causing the pack to become riled up.

"She was yours, Paul... she belonged with you... before the change... that isn't the case anymore." Emmett hissed, as he foolishly reached out for her again. Paul lunged and caught Emmett's granite arm in his muzzle. Emmett fought back with a solid punch that knocked Paul backwards a few strides. Seth and Embry were stepping up in Paul's defense before an order had even been given from me.

"Emmett! That's enough!" Esme yelled. "You're crossing a line. We need to leave. If you keep this up, you will force Jacobs hand further and we will not be here to defend your ill thought out choice."

Paul huffed and regained his composure as Rachel went to him. She froze a mere foot from his wolf form, seeming timid to get any closer. Paul whined and closed the gap between them without any further thought. His mind was full of the kind of devoted thinking I held for Bella.

_"Stay here with me... Right here with me. Don't go... please... I need you."_

My gaze was drawn back to the forest where the vision of my mother remained. Her face changing from sorrow to joy when Rachel settled herself closer to Paul. The two of them looking knit together already. I watched in awe as the faintest smile graced my mothers face, before she turned away. Within seconds her figure was disappearing, and the heavy ache in my chest returned with crushing weight.

Emmett looked enraged, as Paul hunkered down in front of Rachel.

"You're on our land... remember that... we have every right to destroy you all without a second thought right now." Leah stated. Her voice full of hatred with every word she spoke. "It'd be best if you left."

"Not without Rachel." Emmett protested. "All you plan to do is destroy her once we're g-!"

Paul was up and roaring before Emmett could fully finish his accusation.

I met his heated gaze, remembering how savagely Garrett had ripped her away from him, our minds already linked in thought as we shared this memory with the others.

_"Don't make me go back to that, Jacob... don't take her from me... I'm begging you... We can leave... go far away from here... start new somewhere else... together."_

I huffed angrily at the thought.

_"You're one of my own... I want you here... with us. We're less of a pack without you, Paul."_

_"Yeah, Man... I mean... she's not who she was... but that doesn't mean we can't figure something out..."_ Seth interjected.

_"Like what?"_ Embry barked in heated reply. "What's your brilliant idea on how to keep both Paul and Rachel here?"

Seth hung his head in defeat and I gave a low snarl to Embry, warning him of his ignorant tone.

"_I say she stays!"_ Leah suddenly added as she phased back in._ "Look at her... does she really appear to be a threat? Besides... if she tries something... there's enough of us to handle it."_

Paul let out another growl when he heard Leah's suggestion.

"_The council will never go for this._" Quil barked.

"_Maybe they will!"_ Seth defended. _"Whose to say? We have to try. We owe it to Paul and we owe it to Rachel. There's been more than enough grief and loss around here lately. I say we try."_

"_What's with mr. hostility over there?"_ Collin asked, gazing to Emmett and the others who were waiting nervously by the tree line.

_"Think he's got a thing for-_" Brady began.

The thought wasn't finished, because Paul's roar had effectively stopped it.

_"Doesn't matter."_ I replied. _"What they had or didn't have. Rachel has made herself clear. She hates what she is."_

Another whine from Paul made my gaze wander over to them.

Was something like this even fucking possible and had I really see my mother again, or was the stress of this getting to me?

I took a few steps toward the Cullen's and saw Rosalie's gaze widen in alarm when Emmett stepped up to me. His look brooding and hostile.

"What is this, Jake? Some kind of game? I thought you wanted her away from here? Now you've had a change of heart?" He mocked, his tone alone making me snarl. "You don't get to-"

"Shut up, Emmett!" Rosalie hissed. "You think I don't know what this show really is about? You've been practically tied to her since she was first changed. Always around her like she's some weakling. Well, in case you haven't taken notice tonight, she's perfectly fine on her own. We don't need to be responsible for her any longer! Sorry to disappoint you!"

Her tone was sarcastic with him and I saw Emmett's eyes narrow at her in returned anger.

"I'm not letting her be destroyed and that's exactly what will happen if we leave her here! She comes with us!"

I advanced and let out a menacing roar that shook that trees around us. He swung to strike me in the muzzle, the very same way he had Paul earlier. I was ready for it, but felt a rush of wind past me as Rachel shoved him backwards with alarming force. The jolt, sent Emmett hurdling to the ground with shock on his face.

"I warned you not to touch my brother... to leave him and his pack alone!"

Emmett got to his feet, staring at her in disbelief.

"So this is where your loyalty lies now? With the wolves? With Jacob?"

Rachel turned and glanced back at me, her eyes glowing in the darkness. "It's where my loyalty has always been. Human or vampire won't change that."

Paul was now frothing at the muzzle as he lingered just a hair away from Rachel. He was hungry to sink his teeth into Emmett for thinking he could lay some kind of claim on what was already undeniably his. I couldn't blame him. There was a time not so long ago that I had wished to do the same to Edward. Back when he thought he still had some kind of claim on Bella.

I took a few steps back from them and phased to human form, seeing Rachel's eyes look away when I slipped on my tattered jeans and further approached her. I sucked in a sharp breath and felt my stomach lurch from the scent when I got even closer to Emmett.

"I owe you... for being there to help us when we needed it... for Bella's safety ... and I thank you for it... all of you... But Rachel never asked for this kind of life the way Bella once did... she never chased after it... it was forced upon her and she's miserable now. So it's not for you to say where she goes or who she stays with. You can't ask her to exist like this... to be trapped in this life in a vessel she loathes, and I will not allow you to force her. Rachel gets a voice, she has a choice... I didn't believe that her blood lust could be this tamed, but now that I've seen it with my own eyes... I now understand what Esme was trying to express before. She is well controlled. I see this now and I have a responsibility to my pack and to this land... To Bella..." I paused, turning back to see Rachel wearily take a step away from me. Her eyes wide with unease when I met her gaze... "... and I have a responsibility to my sister."

I felt the tremors hit me when a cold hand soon reached out and gingerly touched mine. I fought the urge to flinch away from the cold touch and repeatedly had to remind myself that it was only Rachel. I felt her fingers lace with mine and while heat licked its ways through me from her contact, I continued to fight it and met her gaze, seeing the genuine gratitude and relief evident in her face.

She inched herself closer and my tremors were hard to ignore. She soon tried to pull her hand away, but I refused to let her go. She had been gone for too long already.

"I missed you..." She said, her tone small and her face crumpling with emotion that would never again show through tears. I turned to face her, seeing her take a timid step toward me. She was within arms reach now, and despite the tremors and heat that roamed through me, I stayed put as she carefully placed herself under my arm. It was familiar... yet entirely different. She was different. Despite her new form, she was still tiny to me ... just less breakable and a bit more lethal now.

Esme then smiled at Rachel and pulled Rosalie with her further into the woods. "It's our time to go. We will return to Denali. It is best."

Emmett lingered after them with a pissed off expression on his face. One that made me more aware of his every twitch, as they went along on their own way.

We stood there and watched them as they soon hurried away with vast speed. Rachel sighed and released my hand with a weary tone while she stared off after them.

"So... this isn't the end... but the beginning of something ... new?"

I retook her hand and offered her a small nod as we turned to face my father, Charlie, and the rest of the pack. Their looks hopeful and shocked at the same time.

Like them ... I had now discovered that this was the beginning and not the end.

**A/N: I know it's been a while (too long) since my last chapter update. Truly sorry for the delay everyone! Also, a big thank you for reading and for the many awesome reviews! :-)**


	106. Chapter 108

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; EIGHT**

**(JPOV)**

I could feel the watchful gazes of the pack as they eagerly awaited my next move. Charlie became almost frantic when my father left his side and wheeled himself toward us. Rachel released my hand and her eyes went wide with alarm when he came closer.

The pack grew unsettled as a result of this, and Rachel then huddled herself in toward the forest. She appeared almost afraid of him, as if she were terrified of herself... I, for one, couldn't blame her.

My father immediately took notice of her timidness and halted his advancement, his eyes glistening with emotion.

"You're still my daughter." Billy stated.

Rachel nodded and met my concerned gaze, as the silence settled back in around us.

"She can stay with me." Leah suddenly offered. "Our home is open to you... if you need a place."

I watched as Jared and Quil phased back to human form so they could better communicate with us.

"What do you mean she can stay with you?" Jared scoffed in disgust. "The council will have a fit!"

"They would." I confirmed, meeting his stern glare. "She can't reside on La' Push lands... not until I call for another meeting."

"Another meeting? Jake... what if they don't grant one to you?"

"Shut it, Jared!" Leah yelled.

"I'm only stating what we all know to be true!" Jared yelled back, getting closer to her. "...so you shut it, Leah!"

I placed a firm hand on his chest and shoved him back. "THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Rachel inched her way back out from the tree cover, and came to warily stand beside me. Her look was nervous and unsure.

"I don't expect you to put me up somewhere here. I know better than to think that's a possibility. I wouldn't ask you to go against the council like that." She humbly added.

"My proposal still stands, Rachel." Leah sighed in reply, offering her half a genuine smile.

"She can... come back to Forks... and stay with me." Charlie suddenly then offered up.

I felt the twist in my gut at the thought of her temporarily residing in the house of Bella's very much human father. I couldn't help but visibly wince at the thought. Rachel saw my reaction and shook her head in rejection to his offer.

"I know what you're thinking Jake... she's a risk... but I've known all of you since you were just kids, and she needs somewhere to go while all this gets sorted out. The way I see it... better with me than with a hotel full of strangers... This way... if she comes with me... She can be watched... by all of you... monitored..."

My command was immediate then.

"Seth, Paul, Quil, and Embry... you're on watch... you are to stay right outside of Charlie's place. Understood?"

They nodded their reply, and I saw the doubt that plagued Leah's face when she met my gaze.

"Jacob... not a word to Bella, son. It'll make her worry and she shouldn't be stressed right now. It's not good for her or the baby." Charlie sighed, running his hands over his tired face, as he clutched his keys.

"Bella will hate me for this..." Rachel said, her eyes downcast and her voice small.

Her unsettled spirit was justified. I was feeling the waves of doubt myself and it had me inwardly cringing.

"I really appreciate your kind offer, Charlie... but I won't lie... this doesn't set well with me... at all."

"That's because we all know how damn dangerous it is!" Jared yelled, his face contorted with hatred as he stared at Rachel. "Hell... why don't we just post welcome signs for any other leeches around La'Push... why not... we're letting one in... might as well let them all in, right?!"

His tone had me stepping up to him with heated anger coiling through me. "If you can't keep yourself in line and cut the bullshit comments right now... then you're dismissed!"

"Are you seriously dismissing me from this meeting? All because I have the guts to actually verbalize what everyone else here is thinking?" He bitterly countered to me.

"I said you're dismissed, Jared. Go... now."

He took off from us then with a huff of agitation and a shake of his head, cussing like a sailor all along the way.

I bit my tongue and waited until he was out of sight, before turning my attention back to Rachel.

"He's not wrong, Jake... and I know you know this. I am a danger to be here and an even bigger risk to have around Bella's father. I am controlled, but I myself am nervous around those I care for."

"Jacob... the offer still stands for her to leave with me. You'll have watch sent out over the place... I see no reason why we can't at least try." Charlie offered again.

"If Bella finds out..." Billy sighed to him in reply with clear apprehension on his aging face.

I felt as if I were stuck... at some kind of fucked up crossroads... put my land at risk, or put Bella's father directly in harms way... what a damn choice.

"What if I stay in Charlie's house with her tonight? It's another protection detail and you know it could work. This way, there's one of us directly with her, and enough of us on watch outside to handle a dangerous situation should it arise?" Leah added, her tone determined.

Charlie met my gaze and gave me a nod of assurance when he heard Leah's proposal. While the idea made the most sense, I still could feel my skin crawling from all this.

"If you go with her to Forks... you have to be alert, Leah." I ordered, releasing Rachel's hand and seeing her eyes nervously meet my own.

It appeared that she didn't like the sound of this either.

I turned her away from everyone, taking her with me by the arm further into the woods.

"Is this really what you want?" I asked her, searching her face. "... to stay here... to be... back...-"

"Home..." She finished for me. "I do want to be here... more than anything, Jacob... but not at the risk of-"

"Leah will be there with you, Rachel. She's strong and wise enough to offer this up, and I do trust her strength. I'll have Paul and the others just outside. They won't be far." I assured her.

"What will you tell Bella?"

I grew silent from her question, as I glanced back to Charlie, who had his keys firmly clutched in his hand and his cruiser door open, waiting for her to join him for the ride back to his house.

"... I don't know..." I truthfully replied to her.

She startled me then, by taking my face delicately in her hands. The coldness of her touch, making me move back, as the tremors began with haste.

She jumped away from me in response, her hands held up in caution, like she would run and try to put a thousand miles between us, before ever engaging in a physical fight with me. It was both humbling and heartbreaking to see.

I took a step forward and let out a ragged breath, as I held out my hand to her. She cautiously approached me and slowly laced her fingers with mine.

"This will never be easy will it?" She sighed, her sadness evident in her voice.

"No... I'd be lying to you if I stood here and said that it would be..."

"Remember what mom used to say when we were kids?"

"Never say never..." I whispered, tightening my hold on her small hand.

"Right... never say never..." She replied. "Maybe with time... it will get better? Someday... somehow?"

"I don't know, Rach... I just don't know... we'll have to take it a day at a time, okay?"

She nodded her reply to me.

"It's always been so easy and natural to hug you or take your hand ... without even thinking about it... you know?"

"We'll get there... work through it... together." I assured her, pointing to Charlie who had flashed his lights our way. "Okay... You better go... before the council gets wind of this, Rach. The longer you're here... the better the chances are of that."

"Okay... I'll go. Will I see you tomorrow?" She asked, her tone full of hope, before letting go of my hand.

"Yeah... I have watch first thing in the morning. I'll be there ... at Charlie's.. maybe sooner than dawn."

She shook her head at me upon hearing this. "You're thinking of staying out with them all night, aren't you?"

"I am." I admitted, looking out over my pack and feeling the heaviness of this situation sink itself in around me.

"Don't do that... please... go back home to Bella, Jacob. I don't want you out here all night. You said yourself that there's enough of the pack on watch for Charlie to be safer near me."

"I know... but I might be there anyway, Rach. This is a hard pill for me to swallow, too."

She nodded and released my hand, as she headed for Charlie's cruiser. I watched her get in, and followed close behind when I saw Charlie give me another nod before getting in, and hitting the gas for Forks. The solid and twisting knot in my stomach, only got heavier as I watched the tail lights fade from view.

"Paul..." I yelled to him, seeing him already by the tree line with the others and ready to bolt. "Go... follow them there and report back to me immediately. Don't let either one of them out of your site tonight. That goes for you too, Leah."

They howled and took off into the woods, leaving only a few of the pack and myself behind.

"You made the right choice tonight, son." My father said to me, as I turned and met his gaze.

"Then why do I feel like I wanna puke." I spat his way in reply while I tried to suck in a shaky breath.

"Because it was and is a risk. Charlie was noble to offer."

"Noble?" I questioned him. "... or incredibly self giving and reckless?"

"Maybe both. He has watched you all grow up, and he knows what Rachel's unfortunate fate has done to our family... to this Reservation."

I shook my head and felt the bile rise in my throat, as I glanced around to the now wide, and nervous eyes of the pack members who were still here with me.

"What the hell are we doing?" Collin soon asked, his voice merely above a shallow whisper. "You think there's enough of them with Charlie right now? Should there be more? Should I go, too."

I shook my head to him, hearing the silence drift in around us now.

My chest felt tight and my stomach churned as I thought of Bella.

"Jacob... son... I understand this will be difficult-"

"Do you?" I replied, my tone clipped and my temper rising rapidly. "Do you really understand this? Can you full comprehend what kind of terror will overwhelm Bella if she finds out where Rachel is tonight? It will damage us..."

"Damage you-?"

"Yes!" I yelled. "It will damage her trust in me, dad. She will question my motives... my reasoning in this... all of it... but worst of all... she will be furious that I didn't at least talk to her first! So yes! This will damage us!"

"Bella is an understanding woman-"

"Understanding?" I bit back. "No... she won't understand this! Not when I myself can hardly fucking stomach it."

I walked out around him and headed for the woods, letting the tremors take hold of me and phasing as I ran.

The remaining pack members were fast to follow behind me and though I tried, I couldn't stop myself from going straight for Charlie's house. I wanted to see with my own eyes that he was okay and if it meant me staying out here all night on four legs to do it... than so be it.

I sent Collin and Brady back to the reservation soon after we had crossed the town line of Forks. I asked them to keep an eye on the house... on Bella and to alert me if she should awake. The last thing I wanted was for her to get wind of this. She would be hurt... angry... and disappointed.

I soon joined the others in Charlie's back yard, and listened to the chatter in the house, as Leah talked to Rachel. The two of them immediately bonding in a way that had me shaking my head in disbelief, yet still grateful for the unlikely friendship that had struck up between them.

I hunkered down next to Paul and stayed close to the tree's while we listened, and took in every shift of wind and every scent around us.

_"Jake... Thank you."_ Paul huffed my way, his wolf gaze peering into mine with astound gratitude_. "I know what you did and the choice you made tonight wasn't easy. You have my word that I'll help you with this... all of it.. with Rachel and the council... Anything you need_."

I huffed in reply, acknowledging him, but not willing to take my eyes off the movement in Charlie's house. I needed to hear every damn pin drop. No distractions.

Paul took notice of this and grew silent with the others for the remainder of the night. I could hear every conversation that took place in the house, some of them almost chilling to listen to.

"I can't believe you're going to be a grandfather, Charlie." Rachel laughed in awe. "Doesn't seem possible."

"No better way to make a man feel old... or more blessed at the same time." Charlie replied, his tone sincere with her.

"I always knew they'd end up together. Jake has loved her since he was just little." Rachel laughed, the sound of it familiar, yet different for me to hear.

"I know." Charlie replied. "Your brother... he's become like one of my own, Rachel."

"I'm glad he has you. With dad struggling the way he has been..."

"Your father is on the mend now that you're back... we all just have to give it some more time and Billy will be okay."

"Really been nice of Bella to cook like she has been for him. He was far from pleasant to be around these past months." Leah sighed.

"That's Bella... She's giving and kind..." Rachel replied. "I fear she'll hate me for returning."

"Bella doesn't hate." Charlie assured her. "She's just weary and protective. It's in her nature."

"I understand."

"I gotta' say... she's grown on me. I like her a lot more now than I used to." Leah admitted.

"I don't think it was her you didn't like." Charlie replied. "I think it was Edward... and her choices that you couldn't stand back then. Am I right?"

"Probably..." Leah sighed. "I guess I just hated to see Jake so tore up like that. You know... when you're in a pack like we are... we all feel what he feels, too. Like Paul... That has been torture on all of us."

"Leah..." Charlie cautioned.

"Sorry..."

"No, it's okay. Don't be sorry. What happened to me wasn't your fault... it wasn't anyone's." Rachel replied.

"Except that twisted fuck... Garrett's." Leah fumed. "I'm glad he's nothing more than ash now."

"Has Paul been getting any better?" Rachel timidly asked.

"His thoughts are a hell of a lot less dark now that you're here." Leah replied.

"He must hate me though." Rachel sighed.

Paul whined aloud from hearing this while he rose from his laying position, as if he wanted to go to her. I gave him a stern look that showed my strong protest for an act like that yet. He took the hint and began to pace with nervous energy, as we all continued to listen.

"Are you serious?" Leah half balked in reply. "Hate you? Rachel... Paul loves you... still... and it's driven him nearly mad these past six agonizing months. I've always had a lower tolerance for him most days, but honestly, the shit he went through... I wouldn't wish that kind of deep torment on anyone. He's damn lucky to even be alive. There were days he-"

She stopped and I saw Paul cease his pacing, as he gazed ahead toward Charlie's lighted living room window. The longing on his features was enough to have my head filling with Bella.

I would fucking hate it if someone ordered me away from her and this was no damn different.

"He... he didn't try to-?" Rachel asked, in a small and nervous voice.

"No." Leah confirmed for her. "But he wanted to. Many times. He and Bella are close now. They have a real bond and I think she helped him, too. He's one tough son of a -"

"Leah... please... language." Charlie tiredly sighed.

"Sorry Chief Swan."

"I'm... afraid of him." Rachel suddenly admitted.

"Why?" Leah asked in disbelief. "Paul would never hurt-"

"You can't say that, Leah. We are enemies. We are made to loathe one another. Tell me how the two of us could even coexist now. It is cruel... all of it."

Silence loomed out over us as their conversation suddenly ceased. Paul turned toward me then, his thoughts full of a palpable anguish now from her words. The kind of anguish that made my own insides ache. I stepped up in front of him, seeing his head hung low.

_"She's home now... That's a start. The rest... is a work in progress, Paul. Be patient and steadfast, bro."_ I huffed, seeing him nod once in reply before hunkering himself back down by the others.

It would be dawn soon and I cringed as I thought of Bella rising early from her sleep, and discovering the truth in all this.

When I saw the sun hit the trees, I made a mad dash for home and got there just in time to see Bella emerge from the house. Her eyes wide in alarm when she saw me appear to the others in wolf form and send them away. I phased back to human form and met her on the porch. Her arms swiftly reached for me, and I was quick to gather her in my arms and hold her close to me.

"Where did you go?" She asked.

I tightened my grip on her, as the images of Rachel's return swarmed through my head. I had made a choice... one that I was plagued with doubt about now.

I needed her voice and her support for this, but I knew what a fleeting hope that would be once she found out where my newly turned vampire sister was residing.

"I'm sorry I left you."

"That's okay... I just wanna know what's going on." She replied, pulling me into the house with her. "You've been out all night?"

I nodded, slipping on some jeans, and feeling the blood drain from my face when she reached for me again.

"Bella... I- There was- ... Something happened... last night... It's-"

"What?" She asked. "The look on your face is scaring the hell out of me right now. So whatever it is... just tell me."

"Okay..." I replied, my voice sounding hallow and strained.

"Jake..."

"It's Rachel... She's ... back."

I watched as her eyes grew wide, and her hands desperately reached for mine.

"Oh... oh... no...no... you-... did you...-"

"No, Bells... I didn't." I quickly replied, seeing her eyes water and her color visibly pale. "I didn't ... harm her... I didn't destroy her..."

She cradled my face, willing me to look at her, as I forced out the truth about my sister and exactly where she was.

"Did she leave... or... Is Paul...-"

"She's here, honey... in Washington... in Forks."

I saw her eyes grow wide again, as she abruptly moved herself away from me. I swallowed hard with dread while she accurately drew her own conclusion.

"In Forks... Where... where Charlie is-"

"Yes."

She shook her head in confusion. "Wh- Why? I mean ... "

"Bells... listen to me... she was here and she had nowhere else to go. I couldn't have her on La' Push land because the council-"

I stopped my sentence when I saw her face flush with her emotion, as she moved herself even further away from me.

"No, Jacob... No! Tell me she isn't with him?"

"Bella-"

"You sent her to stay with Charlie? Knowing how dangerous-"

"He offered her a place... just for a few nights... and I was there all night... just outside with Paul and the others."

"That's not enough." She whispered to me. Her tone bitter and angry. The sound of her evident disappointment was pure agony for me to hear.

"I was there, Bella... all night. Leah was in the house with your father. She never left-."

"You... You chose to place your blood thirsty sister with my father? Over night?"

"I would never let anything happen to him-"

"You can't make me that kind of empty promise, Jacob!" She yelled. "I'm going to him... right now."

I felt the blood further drain from my own face, as I reached for her and saw her hastily pull away from me.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled, gathering clothes from the closet and getting dressed in a hurry.

"Bella..."

"How could you do that? How could you take that kind of risk with my father, Jacob!? You know how much he means to me and you know the risks involved!"

"I was th-"

"I don't care if you were there! You were there when Rachel was turned, too! And you couldn't stop it from happening! You know how fast they are... one moment is all it takes for her to act on that blood lust and kill my father!" She yelled, grabbing her coat.

I took hold of her arm then, though she fought me.

"You can't go there, Bella! I will not allow it!"

"Allow it?" She countered, her eyes glaring at me. "You made the choice to allow it when you allowed Rachel to stay with my father in Forks. I'm going!"

"No, you're not!" I yelled, placing myself in front of her.

"Look at yourself, Jacob... why are you so afraid for my well being right now when you granted Rachel unlimited access to my dad in the same way just last night!?"

She tried to move herself out around me, but I wasn't budging.

"Let me go!"

"I can't... and you know why."

I placed my hands on her growing stomach, meeting her gaze with desperation.

"I won't let you go there... I'm sorry." I breathed to her, feeling her hands touch mine on her stomach.

She soon backed away from me again, tossing her keys to me. I caught them and saw her tears as they fell.

"How could you do that to me, Jacob?"

"Bells-"

"No... No, Jacob... You - You chose your sister over my father last night. I- I can't... even look at you right now."

She walked away from me then, and I heard the bedroom door slam shut as a sob left her. I dropped her keys on the table and went toward the bedroom, feeling the door was locked.

She continued to cry and it set my insides screaming to comfort her... to do something... fix it somehow...

"Bella... please let me in... "

She didn't answer me, as I sunk down by the locked door, and listened to her sobs come from the other side of it.

"Bells... please..."

"Just leave me alone, Jacob." She angrily replied through her tears.

I felt her words take hold of me when she said this.

I had made this choice... I had allowed it to be.

Guilt overwhelmed me as I thought back to the events of last night with Rachel. Charlie had offered and I had taken every added precaution I could for him... for his well being and safety, but what Bella had just said was true... It only took a second... one fucking second...

What had I done?

**A/N: Another chapter updated! :-) Please feel free to review and tell me your thoughts! xoxo**


	107. Chapter 109

Copyright: I do NOT own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable characters/content belongs to the wonderfully talented Stephanie Meyers.

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; NINE**

**(JPOV)**

I had allowed my care for Rachel to cloud my good judgement, and I began to feel all the more conflicted every time I heard another raw sob leave Bella from the other side of our bedroom door. She continued to refuse to let me in, and I was growing more and more convinced by the minute that I had made a calossal mistake. I soon worried that it was already too late to fix all this in her eyes. I had hurt her... deeply.

I abruptly got up from the floor and took off out the front door, phasing before I had even graced the tree line of my back yard.

I loved my sister... but this wasn't right... She couldn't be this close to home... or be staying with Charlie.

I had to make it right and change her living arrangements... immediately.

I was Alpha of this pack for shits sake and taking a risk like this, was proving to be something unforgivable for Bella. I knew she had every damn right to be hurt and angry. I would be too.

I felt pulled in two entirely different directions with all this. My pack needed my consistent leadership... Bella needed me to remove Rachel from Forks... from Charlie... and Paul needed my loyalty... my understanding. He had been through agony and I felt responsible for his well being. It was my job to help him.

What the fuck was I thinking?

I ran full tilt for Charlie's, and made it there just as Leah came barging out. Her thoughts already had linked with mine, before she had phased out and headed back inside to Charlie's house with Rachel. She had stepped outside to check in with the others by the bordering tree line, and it had been just long enough for her to hear my thoughts. She knew exactly where my head was at and she was beyond pissed when I approached.

"I know exactly why you're here and I can't believe you would even think of-!" She began.

"Leah..." Rachel cautioned, approaching me with haste upon hearing Leah's harsher tone now.

I swallowed hard and met her gaze, my head full of the betrayal to Bella I had created by allowing all this.

It wasn't right.

"I can't-" I began, but stopped when Rachel shook her head and further approached me.

"I know..." She sighed. "This isn't possible for us. For you... Last night was too much of a risk..."

I felt the lump in my throat grow, as she turned and motioned to Leah.

"I told you this was a long shot, Leah. You can't be angry with him. Please respect what Jacob's asking of you. It is the right thing to do. The imprint needs to be broken and I need to leave here. I need to make my peace with my father and flee. It is what's best for Paul and I think everyone can agree with that."

"I don't." Leah coldly balked, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes in disgust. "You should stay."

Rachel turned back to her then, her face full of genuine sincerity when she addressed her.

"Leah... You are so much like your mother and that is an honorable trait to carry these days. Never lose that, but what Jacob struggles with is justified." She paused, turning herself back to me with a heavy sigh. "After all... You're only trying to fix what was never your fault to begin with, Jacob... right?"

I struggled to meet her gaze, as the unforgiving memory of her scream in that basement filled my mind.

"This isn't your fault, Jacob... it never was."

My chest became tight as I lifted my head, and met her forgiving gaze.

"How can you say that?" I breathed, turning away from her. "It was me who couldn't save you... I couldn't ... protect you... when you needed it most."

I felt her cold hand on my shoulder then as she moved in front of me.

"Jake, you're my little brother and I -"

"You needed me and I wasn't there. Even before Garrett had taken you..."

"You were always there for me. My choices back then were mine and even if they were manipulated by Garrett... that in no way makes it your fault... you did all you could for me."

I stepped off the porch just as Sam's truck pulled in. His gaze telling me he knew exactly where my head was at without needing to be in wolf form to hear.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Rachel..." I replied to her, my voice thick with emotion that threatened to choke me. "I'm so sorry... but this..."

"Isn't right." She added with a nod, reaching her hand out to retake mine. "I know... and I can't ask you to give anymore of yourself than you already have. I love you Jacob... always... Even if it has to be from miles away. Me staying here is no longer an option and we both know this."

I nodded and felt Sam's firm hand come to rest on my shoulder. He offered no words, but his support was what I needed right now and I was grateful for it.

Charlie then emerged from the house with a grim expression.

"I just got a call from Bella." He sighed. "She's..."

"Distraught." I finished for him, hanging my head in shame.

I had made her that way. My actions had placed her in that state of mind.

"Charlie... I owe you an apology..." I stated, struggling to even meet his stare.

"You don't owe me anything, son. I offered you my aid last night because I wanted to help, and I know why Bella is upset over all this, but I'm gonna head over there and have a talk with her. Explain my reasoning... and yours. Give her a few hours, Jake. She'll come around."

"What I did was wrong. Allowing Rachel here overnight... even with the watch of the pack. It was too risky." I replied, feeling truly ashamed. "She feels betrayed and I can't blame her, Charlie."

"Hey..." he replied, stopping next to me on his way to the cruiser. "There's nothing wrong with trying, Jacob. I admire you for the effort. I'll talk to Bella and get in touch with you later. Let you know how it goes."

I nodded, swallowing hard and watching him closely as he left for La' Push.

"What the hell do you plan to tell Paul now?" Leah fumed.

"Paul will be okay once the imprint is broken. He can find new love and move on. Get the chance he deserves at a fresh start." Rachel replied. "It's what needs to be done. I will wait for you to call forth a meeting with the council and we will put an end to his long suffering."

Leah then scoffed in further disgust, as she headed for the woods. "I'll gather the others."

We watched her go and I couldn't bring myself to look my sister in the face. She was forgiving and understanding and I felt unworthy of any of it.

"She will forgive you, Jacob."

"You didn't see her face, Rach. She looked at me like..."

"...You'd let her down... disappointed her?" She asked.

"Yeah... only ten times fucking worse. She trusted me to make the right choice... and I let her down by allowing you to stay here last night."

"She will still trust you... again... believe me when I tell you this, Jake."

"Why?" I asked, glancing over to her.

"Because that's what you do when you love someone as much as Bella loves you." She replied.

"I screwed up... I let my instincts go... put my trust in feelings alone... because I felt guilty that I had failed you before and I wanted to make it right. But this... this wasn't fucking right."

"When Leah returns... I will follow your lead... go where you need me to be so we can address the council together and get the process of breaking the imprint started." She replied. "The sooner... the better... for all involved, Jake."

"Agreed." I sighed.

"Will you help me talk to dad... before."

"I'll be there, Rach. We'll tell him as soon as the council agrees. This will be hard as hell on him."

"He'll be okay..." She replied with certainty.

"You weren't here before... he hasn't been the same since you were turned... we've barely been hanging on by a thread."

"I'm confident he will be himself again... making peace with him is what we both need."

"How can you be so certain about him?" I asked.

"Because he has you, Jacob. That's how I know. How I'll always know he'll be okay."

"You still put all that blind faith in me ... even now? Even after all this? After I failed you." I asked her in disbelief.

I felt her hand tighten in mine in response to my question. "You didn't fail me. You risked your life to save mine and you fought like hell. That matters and it counts to me, Jacob. So yeah... your damn right I have faith in you. I know the kind of man you are, and the kind of leader you're still growing to be. I'll never doubt those things."

I felt the tears sting my eyes as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry things can't be the way they used to be... I'm sorry I won't be here for your wedding... or for the birth of your first child with Bella..."

Tears slid down my cheeks from her words while she continued on. "But... mostly... I'm sorry I left the way I did after mom died... you needed me here more than I was... and I left you and dad on your own. I'll regret that for a long time, you know."

"You did what you had to do for you, Rach. There's nothing wrong with that." I assured her.

"I'm gonna miss you... so much. Wherever I go... we can still keep in touch? Can't we?" She whispered.

I couldn't speak through the choking lump in my throat... I had no words for this. I managed a nod to her, for it was the best I could do in the moment.

"Promise me something?" Rachel quietly asked, as we caught sight of the pack slowly emerging from the tree line in human form.

"Name it." I replied.

"Promise me that you'll never lose sight of who you are and that you won't hold onto this guilt anymore. You have to believe me when I tell you that my fate wasn't your doing ... it wasn't your fault, Jacob."

I met her gaze, as she lifted her head from my shoulder, and seeing her face now plainly full of the sadness that she could no longer show through tears.

I had screwed up last night in so many ways... placed Bella's father in direct danger and left her hurt and disappointed as a result... I had mislead my father to believe we could actually make this work with Rachel being here... I had failed repeatedly... but this... this promise... was the one damn thing I could do right for her in a long line of wrongs.

"I promise..." I replied, seeing her sad grin as she stood up with me, the two of us wasting no time in telling the pack of our clear intent now.

"I'm calling another meeting with the council." I declared.

"What?" Seth asked, stepping forward. "Why?"

"Because it's dangerous what we're doing! That's why!" Jared snapped at Seth in reply.

"No... it's because we're trying to accomplish to impossible and failing miserably. We can't have Rachel here without the risks." Quil countered.

"I made a mistake." I stated to them, taking leadership of the conversation. "I wanted something unobtainable, and my actions were not well enough thought out last night and they were selfish. Bella is ... angry... and hurt over this... she's truly disappointed in me and I'm just as fucking disappointed in myself right now. I'm sorry... to all of you. You deserve a stronger leader... and a more decisive Alpha... I owe that to you and more."

No one spoke... instead... each of them just listened and the level of respect they still showed me, was humbling, especially considering my actions last night.

"What do you need us to do, Jake?" Sam asked, falling in line next to Paul, who had gone completely mute.

"We need to go through with the original plan of breaking the imprint. It's the only way." I replied. "I am heading to the elders straight from here.. asking them for their help in the meeting as well. We need them."

"I can go to Billy... get in touch with the council from his house? Explain the urgency of it." Sam offered, stepping forward.

"Thank you, Sam."

"I'll be back within the hour." He yelled to us, as he quickly retreated into the woods.

Rachel hadn't spoken a word, and I could see her almost visibly shrink in on herself, while she stood next to me in front of the entire pack.

"Do you have anything you want to say?" I asked, giving her the floor to speak.

She shook her head and tried to advert the many intense gazes from Paul. He was struggling to even stay standing while I addressed them once more.

"You all rely on me and I'm sorry that I let you down last night. You look to me for leadership and I need to provide that for you ... no matter what the situation is... or how impossible it seems, I have a responsibility to each of you to be present, and to lead you and I have failed at that. Keeping Rachel here... close to home... would come at a high price, and an even larger sacrifice. Her presence alone would initiate more phasing... more younger generations becoming part of this pack long before they are even mature enough to do so. I don't want this to happen, and as much as I love my sister, I know she cannot reside in Washington."

"Your only human sometimes, Jake. We all understand where your hearts intentions were last night." Seth sighed, with a nod of true understanding to me.

"However misguided they were." Jared balked.

"Show some damn respect, Jared ... and pray you never have to be in Jake's position one day. Maybe then, you'd learn how to be a little more human?" Sam suddenly snapped to him in my defense.

"We're really doing this, Jake? Breaking the imprint?" Collin asked.

"We are... we have to... this is the only way." I replied, seeing the set determination in Rachel's gaze when it met mine.

"Yes... we do have to... and so we will... no more waiting... no more options... this is what has to be... for the good of everyone." She replied, in agreement with me.

I had done something so selfish and it had deeply hurt Bella in the process. My actions last night had left her trust in me damaged, and as broken as it had ever been. Restoring that trust and helping Paul to break the imprint from Rachel, was now my top priority and I would see it through. I would right my wrongs... or try like hell to fix what I had broken.

Paul's face was contorted in heartbreak when he looked Rachel's way. She didn't shy away from his intense stare, instead she seemed transfixed by it, like the two of them were having a silent conversation that none of the rest of us were privy to. I saw Paul's fists flex at his sides, and recognized his tremors that hastily began when Rachel soon dropped her gaze to the ground. Paul headed for the trees then and I let him go, not having the heart to require him to stay here any longer. I would seek him out when I heard back from the council... If they should so choose to grant me another meeting.

I heard the sound of an approaching car engine, as I turned to see Bella's truck pulling into the yard with Charlie's cruiser right behind her. I moved without thought and stopped her from coming any closer. My body beginning to shake when I reached for her in an attempt to place myself between her and my sister.

She couldn't be this close to her... it wasn't safe.

I saw Paul stop in his tracks when Bella yelled to him. His shaking form halting there by the edge of the forest. He didn't move an inch, and I watched him sink down on his knees by the base of a large tree, placing his head in his shaking hands. Bella moved away from me and began to run for him.

"Paul!"

"Bella!" I yelled, grabbing her arm and stopping her from getting too close to Rachel.

"Let me go!" She insisted, fighting against me.

Charlie was quick to reach for her as well, feeling my own desperation in the moment.

"Bella... listen to Jacob... you can't go near her."

Rachel's wide eyed golden gaze met mine with a frantic plea, as her hands went to her throat. The move, making my tremors quicken and intensify. I moved away from Bella, not taking my eyes from Rachel, as I instantly phased and landed on all fours. Sam followed suit and was next to me with a warning snarl to her, as she clawed at her throat and fell down in the dirt before us. Her hands digging harshly into the gravel, as a loud hiss left her.

Charlie pulled Bella back and placed her behind him, while she continued to struggle against him to get to the woods... to go to Paul.

A loud roar echoed out around us, as Paul gave in to his tremors and ran for Bella. He placed himself directly in front of her, his muzzle low to the ground and his teeth bared.

Rachel flew back toward the dense cover of the trees, and began to hastily climb one of them, until she was damn near invisible.

I waited and watched, not moving an inch while Paul suddenly grew more and more agitated. His snarls loud and menacing. Bella went closer to him, placing herself at his side, and keeping her brown eyes continually on the forest where Rachel had fled to.

Paul suddenly phased back to human form before us. His naked body collapsing to the ground and struggling to move.

I lurched forward, seeing Bella try to help him, as he let out a ragged breath. His words barely audible to hear.

"I - I - can't... do this... anymore... I- I have nothing... left to give..."

Sam went to him, phasing back and reaching for him, but Paul didn't move. He had carried this torment for far too long and it was ripping him apart. I wanted to help him myself, but I had to stay in wolf form and be sure Rachel was not a threat to Bella's safety. Their immediate and unexpected closeness had me on the highest alert.

Sam looked to Charlie, who had pulled a blanket out from the trunk of his cruiser, and draped it over Paul's naked body. The two of them worked together to get him back up on his feet, and though it took much effort, they were successful. Paul was visibly weak and unsteady, and it had me more than concerned for him.

He had gone on with this for too long... this burden for him was too heavy... the weight of it was beginning to crush him.

"Help me get him back to his place on the Reservation." Bella asked Charlie. "He can't keep going on like this."

I watched Sam help Paul into Bella's truck and he was quick to offer to go with her back to La'Push. I nodded my agreement to him and saw Bella linger there for a moment, as her gaze desperately sought mine. She then ran to me, her tone shaky when she spoke.

"I know I was upset before... and if I'm being honest, I still am... but I came here to tell you... to beg you... not to change your mind on this, Jacob... please..." She begged me, before turning and running back for her idling truck. She and Sam soon took off in a hurry and with Charlie directly behind them.

I saw Paul's color visibly pale when Bella scooted herself in right next to him and Sam hit the gas for the highway. I was thankful she had let him drive and watched them closely, as they rapidly disappeared from sight down the road.

The thoughts from the pack were frantic and loud.

_"He is losing himself..."_ Seth whined.

_"He held on for a hell of a lot longer than I ever could have."_ Quil huffed in reply.

"_What the hell are we gonna do? We can't send her away now!"_ Embry added.

_"BULLSHIT! Did you see Rachel's reaction to Bella!?"_ Jared roared back to him.

_"But she ran from it... she resisted the urge... the blood lust! You saw her do so yourself!"_ Embry coldly bit back.

_"This time! What about the next time?"_ Jared bitterly countered.

_"We have to do something! Paul could die from this! We're running out of time!"_ Leah angrily roared.

_"Are you so fucking willing to have a blood bath on our lands, Leah?"_ Jared argued.

_"She is controlled! We can't abandon Paul when he needs us!"_ Leah huffed, roughly nudging into him.

Jared then pushed back into her, accepting her challenge and the two of them began to fight. I roared to them in response, seeing the both of them cease their prior hostility, as my solid command trickled through the pack.

"ENOUGH!" I roared, as my wolf gaze thoroughly searched the tree's, seeing no sign of Rachel and feeling the wind shift, as her remaining scent drafted toward me. She was running... but she was still close enough for me to smell... to track.

I had to go after her... for Paul.

I took off like a bat that was fresh out of the gates of hell and soon heard the thundering of paws, as they hit the soft earth from behind me._ "We bring her back here... for our brother."_

They all willingly followed my command without further questions and we were fast on her trail.

I needed to bring her back and get my meeting with the council in order before daylight broke tomorrow ... for I feared that if I didn't... I would soon lose one of my own... forever.

**A/N: Hey Everyone! :-) Thanks again for reading and I look forward to your feedback! Feel free to review! xoxo**


	108. Chapter 110

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TEN**

**(BPOV)**

Sam flew down the highway as Paul faded in and out of consciousness. His eyes frantically searching mine whenever he would resurface long enough to come to again. I could see his color pale as Sam hit speeds that were close to ninety. The look of pure panic on Sam's face was enough to have my eyes looming with the threat of new tears. I saw the Reservation come into view and breathed a sigh of relief that we had at least made it. Charlie pulled in right beside us, slamming on his brakes, as the heavy dust flew around him from his abrupt stop.

"How is he?" He asked a grim looking Sam who hurriedly retreated to our side.

"Not good..."

I stepped out and moved away so Charlie and Sam could help him into the cabin. They didn't make it past the front of my truck, before Paul went unconscious again, his entire body going limp. He fell down, pulling Charlie and Sam down to the ground with him. They all hit the gravel and I went down on my knees next to them, my small fingers desperately searching for a pulse.

"It's there... but it's weak." I cried to Sam, cradling Paul's face, and seeing the near lifelessness it now held. "What do we do?"

Sam sucked in a sharp breath and glanced back toward the forest behind Paul's cabin. "Jacob is coming... I know he is... we have to help him hold on until he finds Rachel and gets back here with her."

"But that could be hours, Sam?" I cried. "He doesn't have that kind of time!"

I broke down then, laying my head on Paul's chest, as a violent sob ripped from me.

I didn't want to lose him.

"Help me get him up again, Charlie." Sam instructed, gently pulling me away from him. "We're almost there."

When we made it to the cabin, and laid him down on his bed, I heard Paul start to cough, the sound of it wet, as he tried to forcefully drag the air back into his lungs. His coughing got substantially worse, and I grew mortified when I saw him then spew up a fountain of red.

"Paul!" Sam gasped, quickly rolling him to his side, as he began to choke on his own blood.

"Roll him again! You have to!" I sobbed. "Do it now or he'll aspirate it! Right now, Sam... hurry!"

I heard Charlie from behind us, as he dug through his pockets, frantically retrieving his cell phone and swiftly dialing 911.

Sam saw this and snatched the cell phone from him.

"Just what the hell are you doing?" Charlie snapped his way. "He needs an ambulance! Look at him for shit's sake! We have nothing here to medically care for him! I don't even have a fully stocked first aid kit in my cruiser! He could die if we don't-"

"And tell them all what exactly when the ambulance gets here? That he's dying from the loss of his imprint!? They'd lock you in the insane asylum, Charlie!" Sam countered, placing the phone back in Charlie's awaiting hand.

"So we sit here and - just - ... what!?" My father huffed. "Do nothing!?"

"Jacob is coming!" Sam yelled in reply to him, running his blood stained hands through his hair, and anxiously looking out the window. "He has to be, damn it!"

I felt Paul's forehead, seeing the sweat now run from him in a steady flow.

"Sam... he's burning up!" I questioned, as I ran to get a cold washcloth for him.

Sam shook his head and I saw the raw emotion that crept steadily into his face with his strained reply. "It's the fever... I've heard of it before. Have never seen it... till now...but the legends speak of it. He's losing this fight... he's barely clinging to life by his fingertips right now."

Tears began to stream down my face, as Charlie tried to pull me into a comforting embrace.

"No..." I protested, rushing over to Paul's side. "He's not gone, yet. I'm not gonna waste precious time mourning him when he's still right here with us. There's still hope! Jacob will come... he will be here in time. He will."

I was met by Sam's silence, and it told me that he himself wasn't sure he should bet on such a thing as time right now.

"If only Sue were-" Charlie sighed, running his hands over his face with dread.

"Even she wouldn't be able to do anything more than we are. Paul needs Rachel... like never before." Sam sorrowfully replied.

"Can he fight this... long enough? Hang on? Till Jacob and the pack returns with her?" Charlie asked him.

"_If he_ returns with her, Charlie. _If Rachel_ has fled out far enough... it could take Jake and the pack the entire rest of the day to locate her... and I _greatly_ fear we just don't have that kind of time."

I shut out their voices then ... not listening anymore to their doubts... I had faith... I would believe that Paul could hang on... I had to.

"Paul..." I whispered, laying myself down with him, and noticing for the first time that my shirt was covered in his blood from before. I hadn't even realized how close I had been standing to him then. "Don't you quit... okay? Please... Please don't give in... Please stay here ... with me... hold on. I'm not going anywhere... I promise... Jacob is coming, Paul... Do you hear me? He is... he's coming back with Rachel."

I felt his hand flinch and I swiftly took it in my own, seeing the paleness of his skin now and shuddering. I continued to talk to him... pleading with him... trying to keep him here with me.

"You've put up a good fight now for months and I know... I know your exhausted beyond measure and that you just want it to be over... But I'm begging you not to give in to that heavy darkness... I... I need you around... your pack needs you, Paul... I want you to be there in the waiting room when our little one is born... who else are they gonna call 'uncle Paul'? Whose gonna tease them and show them how to get away with just about anything? I don't think there's a better guy for the job than you."

I tightened my hand in his, seeing the blood that ran heavily down the middle of my shirt, as I touched his cheek. "Jacob needs you, Paul... we all do."

The hours of the day drew on and on, and though Paul's fever had come down in that time, his color was still ghostly pale and his breathing, very shallow. Sam and Charlie had paced back and forth in the front yard all afternoon, both of them anxiously waiting for Jacob to show up.

I was ringing out the washcloth to place back on Paul's forehead when I heard the faintest of whisper suddenly come from him.

"Bella."

I ran over to him, dropping the wet cloth and near tripping as I went.

His eyes were wide in alarm when they saw my shirt covered in dried blood. He tried to sit up, reaching for me on instinct. I was quick to explain.

"It's not mine, Paul... It's not mine." I assured him, placing my hand on his chest in an effort to keep him still. "Don't move... stay there."

I offered him a glass of water, but he barely had the strength to pull the liquid up from the straw.

"You stayed." He breathed, reaching for my hand.

"Of course I stayed."

"Sam?"

"He's right outside with Charlie. I can go get-"

"No." He replied, tightening his grip the best he could on my hand. "Don't."

"Tell me what to do ... what can I do?" I asked, my tone shaking with held back emotion that threatened to spill from me at any moment.

"Stay." He breathed in reply to me and I felt my insides go cold, when I suddenly realized what he was saying. Tears slid down my cheeks, as I cradled his face... Willing him to hold on.

"Paul... don't do that... don't give in... please... please don't."

"I'm so... so tired... Bella... "

His shallow breaths and hushed words had me desperate, while I shook with the sobs that began to consume me. Despite his weakness, he pulled me closer to him, as my head came to rest on his chest. I listened to his breathing... to his distant heart beat.

"Tell Jacob- Tell... h-him-"

"No!" I cried, raising my head and seeing him begin to close his eyes.

Sam came in just as a desperate scream left me.

"Do something!"

Sam moved me back and took Paul by the shoulders, shaking him to open his eyes.

"Paul! Don't quit on us!" He yelled to him. "It's not your time, brother... it's not your time!"

A loud howl suddenly filled the outside air as the sun began to set. I ran for the front door to see Jacob come sprinting toward the cabin. I went to him and saw him huff, and nudge me back toward the door, as Rachel appeared from behind Embry who was howling loudly.

I watched as Jacob phased to human form and ran inside with me, his hands clutching mine when he saw the blood.

"It's his." I cried. "All of it... It's all his."

Jacob and Sam were quick to lift Paul up and out of bed, taking him outside and into the air that Rachel now shared.

"Rachel!" Jacob shouted to her, seeing her timidness to approach. "Come here."

I backed away from her, and huddled closer to my father, who swiftly moved us both out of the way.

Jacob didn't waste any time before phasing back, and taking an immediate protective stance in front of us. He roared loud to the others while Rachel stared at Paul, who was now laid out on the ground, his lower half still wrapped in a blanket.

She blankly stared at him, her face contorting into an agonizing expression, as she took in his broken body.

"Am I... too late?" She asked, her voice so very small when she spoke.

"I don't know..." Sam truthfully replied. "He's hung on for hours! Where the hell is the council!?"

"They're coming!" Embry shouted back to him in reply.

I watched Rachel take a few small steps toward Paul, her long beautiful ink black hair, now blowing in the breeze when she knelt down beside him. I couldn't take my eyes from her, as she leaned in closer to him, and continued to observe him with her new eyes of gold.

"He tried... to save my life that day... with you, Jacob... I remember a lot more about that time now. It's taken me months to retrieve some more of the memories... some of them come to me in flashes now... but_ I do_ remember."

Jacob huffed to her in reply and watched on, as she reached for Paul's hand. The small gesture causing several snarls to spill from the pack. Leah came closer and phased back to human form when she gestured to Paul.

"You can touch him... it's what he needs most right now, Rachel... You're his antidote."

"I can truly heal him?"

Leah nodded and reached out for Rachel's hand, delicately placing it in Paul's.

"You are the only one that can heal him."

"I'm ... not human.. anymore... How do you know he will even accept me like this...as I am now." Rachel asked.

"Trust in the imprints power, Rachel. You know well of it's pull... you're aware of the magnitude it possesses." Leah replied, stepping away from them, as the darkness of the night shrouded it's way in around all of us.

I looked on with baited breath, while Rachel continued to study Paul's face, the backs of her fingers gently touching his cheek. I marveled at her sense of self control when she laid herself down next to him on the ground, curling her tiny stature into his side, with precise ease and caution... like she was made to fit there.

My eyes stung and my vision blurred with emotion, as I glanced up, and took in the many unreadable expressions on each member of the packs face... They all looked like they were ready to take action at any moment, yet all of them were awe struck at the same time... including Jake.

"Let me help him?" Rachel quietly asked. Her golden gaze now wide with clear recognition. "He'll die in the night without me... I know this... and so do all of you... so let me stay here like this with him and wait? Please?"

"If the council show up here ... with her present on La' Push lands without prior consent... they'll..." Embry shouted to everyone in warning.

"I'll take my chances with them!" Rachel hissed to him in reply, as she laid her head back down on Paul's chest. "They don't scare me."

"They should!" Embry yelled in anger. "They could have you destroyed!"

"If they break the imprint for Paul and then wish to end my existence... I will_ not_ fight them... nor will I fight any of you. As long as Paul stays alive and they help him... I am then no longer needed. They can do with me as they see fit!." Rachel replied.

A viscous snarl erupted from Jacob in response, as he scanned the surrounding forest, in search for any signs of the council's impending approach.

Charlie looked down at me with concern clear in his gaze upon hearing this from Rachel.

"She doesn't wish to be what she is now?"

"No..." I solemnly replied.

"But Jacob won't allow them to order that...-"

"He won't have a choice, dad. They are the council."

"And Jacob's the blood born Alpha of this pack... He's the grandson of a chief... doesn't that count?"

"Of course it does, but if they order her demise... Rachel will have no other choice... and neither will Jacob."

"They can't be so damn rigid as to order him to kill his own sister!" Charlie balked to me in utter disgust.

"You're wrong... they can." I vacantly replied.

"That doesn't seem like leadership to me."

"They will feel it's whats best for the land. They have worked hard to keep it safe from the cold ones and I can understand why they fear even one of them returning... no matter what the reason. It opens up a boundary... shows unknown others a level of tolerance for their kind and that places great fear in the elders... and in the council."

"I understand that, Bella. But anyone with eyes can see Paul is dying without Rachel. I mean... just look at him now... his color is slowly returning... her being this close is having a huge positive affect on his health."

"I know."

Charlie's face grew even more grave with his next question to me "Bella... you're Jacob's imprint... are you truly telling me that if something ever happened to you-"

I only nodded my reply, seeing Paul barely stir there next to Rachel. His color returning to the familiar russett shade it had always been. A small smile began to grace my lips upon seeing this and I tried not to let in the waves of relief just yet. For deep down, I knew he wasn't completely out of the woods.

"Jacob would die without you." Charlie then bluntly stated. "And there would be nothing anyone could do about it..."

"He... made it through when I left for Jacksonville... when I stayed with mom..."

Charlie sighed and shook his head to this.

"I can't even begin to imagine what kind of hell that boy went through."

"I try not to think about it... the guilt... overwhelms me when I do... But seeing Paul like this now ... makes my own heart break for what I put Jacob through all over again. I didn't even call him, dad. I just left."

"But you came back, Bella. At least the two of you had options..."

"If I had married Edward... Our choice would have been taken from us the same way Paul's was. Only in my case, I was actually stupid enough to want that kind of existence. I asked for it. Rachel never did. If I had gotten what I so naively sought after back then, Edward would have changed me and I would've been locked in eternity as one of the cold ones... forever... never changing or moving forward."

Charlie visibly shuddered from this.

"Please don't speak of that time, Bella. It makes me sick." He admitted, his own color becoming pale upon me mentioning it.

"I'm sorry."

"Should you still be here? This close to Rachel? After before?"

"I'm not leaving, dad. Paul saved my life once, too. You know this, and he needs all the support he can get right now." I replied.

Jacob turned back to me and I knew with one look that he had heard our entire conversation. His wolf gaze was full of undeserved forgiveness for me, and I always felt so unworthy when he looked at me with that kind of immense understanding. I continued to be awe struck, even now, by his humble and forgiving character.

"I feel sick over this... if the council makes Jacob do that... it'll devastate him, Bella." Charlie sighed.

"I know, dad... trust me... I've laid awake many nights thinking the very same thing.""

Charlie wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I shuddered, as I pondered how weak Paul had been today, and how damn close we had come to losing him. I was terrified he wouldn't be strong enough to endure whatever the breaking of the imprint would require of him.

Seeing him now, though... laying there on the ground so still with Rachel curled into his side, made me wish there was anther way for them. I couldn't help but study just how calm and peaceful his face looked. He hadn't appeared to be at peace like this in months. His skin was now warm and full of the life that had been missing from it just an hour before.

Rachel was his counterpoison ... his curative... and as the time ticked by while we all waited and observed... I began to see the life in Paul come back.

**A/N: As always... Thank you all so much for reading and please feel free to leave your feedback in a review! I love hearing from you! :-) xoxo... Till next time!**


	109. Chapter 111

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; ELEVEN**

**(PPOV)**

I could hear voices coming from somewhere far off in the distance, and I tried to make out what they were saying, but struggled in doing so. I felt as if I'd been hit by a semi - truck. Everything in my body was sore, as I tried to move and open my eyes. I felt disconnected... disoriented.

Where the hell was I?

What the fuck happened to me?

I struggled to make any sense of the loud noises that surrounded me, and became more panicked when the sound of a women's scream suddenly carried it's way out over the madness around me. I was unable to see anything in this moment, but I could still_ hear everything_.

Someone was speaking... but I couldn't make sense of what was being said... several people were speaking... no... not just several people... no... these were the baritone voices of men... men that weren't just speaking, but instead ... they were chanting around me.

What the hell was going on?

I tried again to move, but felt completely paralyzed and helpless. My legs and arms were heavy with what felt like an invisible weight... an unyielding and unknown powerful force that rendered me immobile and held me down.

Darkness began to creep back in around me, and though I tried to remain on the surface of it somehow, like swimming against an invisible current, I was unable to keep it's heavy curtain at bay. The background noise soon faded from me and I was left with nothing but darkness.

When the voices returned to me again, they were familiar, and the sound of them sent an overwhelming and unexpected ease through me. I again, attempted to move and this time, could freely do so. My hands flexed into fists, as I opened my eyes, squinting above me to see a lamps glow eliminating through the confines of a familiar surrounding... a familiar room.

"Paul..." A voice called out to me in alarm. The sound of it sweet to hear, as it filled the unsettling silence now.

I slowly turned my head and saw a figure approach, as a small hand slipped into mine. I held it tightly and followed the voice when it called out to me again.

"Paul..."

I swallowed hard, feeling my throat to be extremely sore, and my mouth to be as dry as a dessert land. When the face before me leaned in closer, and my vision finally came fully into focus, I was more than relieved to see Bella there with a wide and welcoming smile in place for me.

I cleared my throat and tried to sit up, feeling the soreness and immense protest of my muscles, whileI did so.

"Careful..." Bella sighed, trying to help me sit up all the way. When my head stopped spinning and my eyes cleared of any remaining haze, I immediately recognized exactly where I was.

Jacob and Bella's place on the Reservation. I was in their guest room.

How the fuck did I get here?

I took the glass of water Bella handed me, seeing her gaze meet mine with genuine relief. I drank the large glass of cold water down dry, and handed it back to her with a nod of appreciation. I tried then to speak, but my voice was a lot more hoarse sounding now than I remembered it to be.

What the hell had I been through? Or what had I done?

Nothing was making any damn sense to me and it left me on edge.

"What happened to me?" I rasped out, noticing how Bella's eyes wandered over to the door.

"Sit tight, okay? I'm going to go get Jacob. He'll be thrilled to see you awake. They all will be."

"They?" I roughly asked her.

"The pack..." She clarified with a smile, before leaving the room.

I heard her yell for Jacob, and waited only a few seconds before taking notice of the fast approaching, and heavy footsteps, as he and Sam ran into the room. Both of them looking wide eyed at each other, and then to me. They appeared to be in a state of disbelief.

Holy shit... I must have really done it this time.

"You're up, bro!" Sam sighed heavily in relief, as he reached out and placed a steady hand on my shoulder. "You had us all real worried!"

"How do you feel, Paul?" Jacob asked.

"Like I got hit with a truck... how the hell do I look?" I begrudgingly replied.

"About the same." He admitted, pulling me into a firm hug. "But trust me... You've looked far worse, bro."

"Worse?" I questioned him, seeing the two of them share a concerned glance. "Is someone around here gonna tell me what the hell happened to me? Or explain why I'm even here... in your house Jacob?"

Bella handed me another glass of cold water and sat down on the edge of the bed with me, as Sam and Jacob went utterly mute.

"You really don't remember anything... do you?" She softly asked me.

I tried to pull something to the surface for recollection, anything that might trigger my memory, but I ultimately came up completely empty.

"No." I replied to her, feeling the unease creep through me when I caught a side glance of the paled look on Jacobs face.

"It's okay, Paul." Bella assured me. "It's the way it was supposed to be... the way it has to be. You're not going to remember what happened... and take it from us... that's a good thing, alright?. You should get some rest now."

"Rest?" I scoffed to her in reply. "That seems to be all I've been doing for the past few days-"

"Weeks..." Jacob corrected, handing me a clean change of clothes.

"Weeks?" I asked, getting to my feet, and feeling my head spin with the rush of movement.

"Yes, Paul... You've been here with us... for weeks. Three weeks to be exact." Jacob clarified, reaching out to offer me his aid in steadying me on my feet.

I looked to Sam, who was struggling to even make solid eye contact with me now. "What Jacob says is true. You've been here for three weeks... resting and healing... you needed it, man."

"Healing? What the fuck are you talking about? What happened to me? Were we attacked or something out on a run? A patrol gone wrong? A fucking ambush by the leeches ... what?"

"Paul... please... try to relax." Bella replied, placing her hand on my arm, and trying to lighten to mood with half a smile and the kind offer of a hot meal. "You must be starving. I have a roast in the oven. Come eat with us?"

Even though I was beyond irritated with the charade they were all trying to keep up for my benefit, I had to admit that her offer of something good to eat sounded way too appealing to pass up. I was fucking famished... and that was putting it mildly.

"Thanks, Bella." I replied, pulling her into a quick embrace, and watching her as she scurried out to the kitchen. Sam and Jacob went to go after her, but my hand caught the door, before either one of them could exit, and I slammed it shut before quickly locking it.

"Okay... now that it's just us... I want the fucking truth and I want it now. So one of you needs to start talking." I declared, sitting back down on the bed, and seeing Sam throw a weary look to Jacob, who shared his uncertain gaze.

"Paul... we know you want answers... of course you do. But you've been-" Sam began.

"Stop..." I said to them through gritted teeth. "Cut the bullshit... and just tell me. Do you know what it's like to not remember? To not know why I've been laid up here for three weeks?"

"What exactly _do you_ remember?" Jacob asked, leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room, his face slipping back into the paled expression from before.

"Nothing."

"Not a single thing?" Sam countered.

"No." I replied.

"Okay then... what's the last memory you have right now?"

"I remember... being out on patrol run ... and coming across something of Rachel's... like a... blouse or... a dress or something. I remember that she was ... missing and we were looking for her, and I remember that fucker Garrett... and that's it. Is she alright? Did you guys find her in time?"

Jacob looked at me then with an expectant expression... like he was waiting for something... for what though... I was still unsure of.

"You can't remember _anything_ before or even after that?" Sam asked me, with disbelief apparent in his tone.

"No... I already told you this. Why do you keep asking me?" I replied, feeling angry, and frustrated at the huge gap placed in my memories now.

"Do you remember that you moved out of your moms a few months ago?" Jacob asked.

"That I do remember. I know we were... arguing a lot... over petty shit... I just needed my own space... Is that what this is all about? Were we in some kind of accident? Is my mother okay?"

"Yes, your mother is just fine, and No, Paul this had nothing to do with you moving out... but ... we _can_ tell you that the worst of all this is behind you. Garrett did a number on you and we're very lucky you pulled through. He's gone... for good. He and Kate both... they are no more than ash now." Sam replied.

"How the hell do you figure I'm over the worst of this if I can't even remember things right?" I angrily countered, getting up and heading for the door. "Do I still even have my cabin on the Res?"

"You have retained what you need to, Paul... Some things were erased and broken with a purpose, and that is all you will ever need to know. The focus now is to move forward. If you do eventually remember some things... we'll address it then... as a group... as a pack... and yes, of course you still have the cabin. We've maintained it for you and paid the rent while you were here... while you were healing." Sam replied.

"Healing from something no one in the pack wants to share."

"From something no one in this pack will ever share... under direct order." Jacob firmly declared, as he opened the door and gestured for me to head out with them into the kitchen, where Bella was plating hardy portions of roast for each of us.

I grabbed his shoulder before he left, as the memory of a woman's terrified scream invaded my mind.

"Wait..."

Jake turned back to me, seeing the intense concern on my face when he met my gaze.

"There's no more to discuss, Paul."

"Jacob, you never answered me before... about Rachel... we're we too late... for her? Can you at least tell me that much?" I asked.

I saw Jacob open his mouth to reply to me, but struggle to actually speak.

"It went the way it_ had_ to... the way it was _always going to."_

In a matter of moments, after entering Jake's kitchen, the entire rest of the pack walked in, along with Emily and Levi. Each of them wearing smiles of relief and patting me on the back for some huge unknown accomplishment. Emily was quick to hand Levi over to Sam and embrace me, her tears of joy streaming down her face and making me hug her tighter.

"So glad to have you back with us, Paul. Things haven't been the same around here without you." She sighed, placing a kiss to my cheek. I shook my head and joined in on the conversation with them as we all ate together.

I had no fucking clue what I had gone through, or what odds I had somehow defied, but I knew by the looks of ample relief on the faces of my pack brothers that I had managed to survive something I shouldn't have, and for this I would be grateful and I would move forward. Whether or not I would ever find out what exactly I had been fortunate enough to survive from... was an altogether different story.

**A/N: Thanks for reading and please fee free to leave your review. Love to hear from each of you. :-)**


	110. Chapter 112

**A/N: Hello Everyone! I would like to start this author note by offering up a huge apology for the lack of writing this Summer. I am getting married this month and there simply has been no time to update since June! I have greatly missed writing this story and am thrilled to be back! :-) I appreciate all of you who have been patiently waiting for an update. This is a short chapter, but fear not, cause the next few will be lengthy. As I have always said... thank you for all your support and for your faithful following and HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWELVE**

**(JPOV)**

I walked the halls of our home, seeing the moonlights glow invade the looming darkness. The house was silent, but my thoughts were loud, as I began to reflect on the events that took place with the council on the night we almost lost Paul. I felt my chest grow heavy, as the haunted memory of all that had happened that night, began to creep it's way back into my mind, the very same way it had every night since.

Nearly six weeks had passed, and almost every night thereafter had proven to give me no solid rest. I would awake in the dead of night, and walk the floors of this house.

I closed my eyes and balled my hands into tight fists as the memories surrounded me...

Rachel had succeeded in fulfilling the only purpose she wanted to before the council had come... she had stayed with Paul... She had kept him alive when it appeared to all of us he wouldn't make it, and when the council finally made their long awaited presence known, they would hear none of our words... they would consider none of our pleas. They would compromise nothing, and while they knew of the situation... Their minds were made up. It was definitively clear that their choice had already been made long before they even came to meet us.

I had become so distraught when they first ordered her to be destroyed, that I had instantly challenged them, and the beast within came roaring back to life with undiluted fury. Sam had been the one who jumped in front of me in that moment, his head full of a begging plea to me.

_"Jacob ... don't do this!"_

I could hear him... the connection through our linked minds remained to be solid and crystal clear, but I was so furious with the council that all I could see... or hear... or feel..._ was red_.

I was met with the same harsh anger from them in return and they warned me of what my actions could mean... what I stood to lose if I continued on in this way of defiance toward them.

Sam phased back to human form and approached them with his hands raised in submission... in direct compliance... His words were desperate when he spoke.

"With all due respect... You cannot ask him to bare witness to this." He argued in my defense, but the council turned an ignorant and deaf ear to it all.

They returned Sam's biting tone with a heavy reminder to me that I was Alpha of this pack and that my loyalty belonged them and them alone, and therefore, being witness to this was not only required of me, but it was my obligation to physically see that the threat upon our lands was effectively destroyed.

They gave me no choice and would hear of no alternative measures.

I wanted to scream when the order was given to me...

"END HER! WE CAN BREAK THE IMPRINT ONCE SHE IS DESTROYED!"

I fiercely fought against the rapid shift that took place within me in that moment, as the beast rose up to their challenge. I felt the beast take firm hold, accepting their demands and erasing any emotion that threatened to make me weary of this action they required now. I could physically feel the connection that I shared with Rachel being forcefully ripped out of me, so the only obligation that remained was to my pack and land alone. I phased back to human form at one point... the pain for me becoming unendurable as the beast took temporary reign.

Chaos continued to unfold around me as I struggled not to scream. The howls from the pack were loud and the roars from Leah were even louder.

She hated this too.

I couldn't stop the tremors as they rocked through me. I was helpless against them. I caught sight of Rachel as she slowly stood in compliance, her face full of an understanding I could not comprehend. My head throbbed while my tremors grew in strength, pushing me to phase back into the wolf that I was... the wolf who saw Rachel as nothing more than a threat now.

I felt the heat invade me like a blazing fire, as I charged for her. She didn't fight or flee. She welcomed it and when her stone body fell limp to the ground, I fell with her. For the numbness that the beast had instilled in me rapidly vanished as quick as it had come, and I was left with the raw aftermath.

That was the way it was supposed to be... the way it had to be, so that I could destroy her... destroy the threat that she was, but the weight of it all became more than I could withstand and in that moment, I wanted the power of the alpha to belong to anyone else but me.

I heard the chanting begin... the chanting of the council as they began to heal Paul.. to break the imprint from him before it could kill him. I felt a stern hand grip my arm as I struggled to my feet. Sam looked exactly how I felt when he and Quil helped me up. I staggered, feeling almost drunk with grief and pain, as I phased back and bolted away from them all, running through the forest with vast speed.

I somehow managed to make it to our back yard, before my pace faltered and an agonized howl ripped from me.

She was gone... I had destroyed her.

I whined aloud, and howled endlessly up into the sky while my heart bled for the loss of my sister. I soon phased and ran on two legs, heading for our front door, and only making it to the porch before my knees finally gave out.

"This was the way it had to be..." I reminded myself, repeating these words over and over, while hearing the faint rumble of thunder come from the nights sky.

A storm was coming...

I couldn't help but think that the pounding wind and rain was the earth grieving with me. Every crack of thunder seemed to grow louder than the last as I stayed collapsed there by the front door.

I had no other choice...

She herself knew this...

I soon saw headlights cast their shadows around me and I heard the faint roar of an engine, but my agony had made me numb to my surroundings.

That's when I heard it...

The only voice that could calm my torment ... calling out my name over and over...

She was there in front of me before I could even pull myself up from the wooden porch.

I saw a pain that matched my own now etched in Bella's beautiful face as she tentatively reached for me. She was drenched from the rain, her clothes clinging to her while she violently shivered from it.

I didn't speak... though I tried... instead, I pulled her to me.

She couldn't be out here like this... in the cold rain.

I felt her shivering continue, despite my closeness and forced myself to get up and move us both inside. My movements felt numb and almost robotic, as I slammed our front door shut and set her down before me.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the silence still lingered around us.

"It's...over..." I forced out, unable to meet her gaze. "It's... done."

Her hands then came to cradle my face and I was forced to look her in the eyes, seeing her desperation there to help me somehow.

"You did what you had to do-" She began, only to stop when Sam came barging in with the same worried expression she wore. Their looks of pity were no source of comfort for me, and while I knew they meant well, I felt utterly numb in that moment.

"Jacob-"

"Don't." I vacantly replied to Sam, releasing my hold on Bella and approaching him with true hatred in my voice.

"I should've never taken Alpha from you-"

"It's yours... your birthright." He quickly interjected.

"A birthright that's taken my own sister from me! My own flesh and blood!" I shouted back.

"Jacob- you can't mean-"

"I no longer want this!" I lashed out, turning my back on him as my anger engulfed me.

"It's who you were born to be-"

"Get out!" I yelled. "Now!"

I heard Bella's apology to Sam on my behalf before he slammed the door closed, and for the first time, I truly loathed what I was.

The weeks that followed were filled with a personal darkness for me that felt too heavy to lift... to forceful to overcome.

Bella was my only source of true comfort and in the worst moments of my despair, I clung to her like a lifeline ... watching her every move and being near her as much as possible. I took leave from any and all pack duties, including patrols, and Sam stepped in for me. He took over, and told me that my position as true Alpha of the pack would be waiting for me when I was ready, but the truth was, I had lost all sense of longing to fill that role. I no longer ached to be in the forest, no longer sought comfort from the wild, but instead, I withdrew from anything that connected me to that sense of obligation for days on end.

My father had steered clear from the empty comfort of the bottle and had made his presence known just about every evening at our house, bringing something with him for dinner each time, and trying to keep the conversation light for my sake. I had feared, at first, he would be outraged with me, and unforgiving, but his demeanor couldn't have been more opposite. He was sympathetic and supportive and it made my guilt only worsen. I felt unworthy of his support.

I had destroyed my own sister...

As the weeks lingered on, Bella and our unborn child became my sole focus and all else faded away from me. I would find myself always needing to be close to her... always watching her. She took notice of the way I had avoided pack duties, and it didn't settle well with her. I could read the evident concern on her face as the days wore on. There was a tangible sense of worry that surrounded her.

Emily had been by often, and had offered me her smile of assurance several times, telling me to remember what matters most and that my sister wouldn't want me to stray away from who I was. I was often silent when she spoke this way, because I was too angry and bitter to offer her some kind of respectful remark. So instead, I chose to keep my mouth shut. Last night however, I lost my cool with Embry when he showed up insisting I get my shit together and come back to claim my rightful position as Alpha in the pack. I warned him to drop it before he started, but he was never one to take advice and I became enraged when he got in my face and accused me of giving up on them all.

"You're leaving the entire pack without it's true leader! How can you-" Embry shouted.

"I can't be Alpha right now!" I snapped back.

"Why the hell not? Pull yourself out of this and take your position back. Sam has told you a dozen times that he will step aside whenever you're ready! It's been weeks Jacob! Rachel wouldn't want-"

"Don't you dare speak of her! You didn't know my sister... you wouldn't know what she'd want! I didn't ask for any of this!" I yelled.

"None of us did, Jake! But it chose you and you don't just walk away from it!"

The yelling between us had awoken Bella, who had been napping in our room. She approached us both with caution, and slipped her hand in mine as she addressed Embry.

"I'm sorry Embry, but I think it would be best if you left. Jacob will return when he's ready, and until then, Sam will continue to take over."

I watched as Embry shook his head my way in disgust and left without another word to either of us. When the house door closed firmly behind him, Bella released my hand and turned away, as if she herself were disappointed in me. The thought alone crushed me.

"Bells... I know I've let you down, too."

She halted her steps and glanced back at me over her shoulder, seeing the lost expression I wore.

"You've never let me down, Jacob... you never could."

I marveled at her understanding and patience with me. Everyone else was pushing me... everyone but her. I took immense comfort in her gracious spirit and found myself to be most content when I had her in my arms.

Nights like this proved to be the worst... when I would walk the halls of our home for hours, reliving the moment I destroyed my own sister over and over again. I wanted the memories to leave me alone, to disappear, but every time I closed my eyes at night... Rachel's face was there... her screams were there.

I plopped myself down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, placing my head in my hands when I saw that my watch read 2:45 a.m.

I was in for another long night.

By the time early dawn rolled around, I could barely keep my eyes open. I heard the sound of a car pulling up to the house as the engine switched off. I cussed under my breath as I rose from the table and headed for the window, seeing a blue SUV now parked outside.

The vehicle was unfamiliar to me and when a soft knock came to our front door, I was leery to even open it.

I grabbed my T-shirt and pulled it on as the soft knock came again.

"Jacob... please open the door..."

The voice stunned me as my hand gripped the door knob. It was a voice I hadn't heard in years and one that mimicked my mothers. I opened the door and felt the morning air hit me as my eyes wandered over the aged face of Rebecca.


	111. Chapter 113

**A/N: Hey everyone! It is wedding week! But I did find time to get in another chapter update for you guys! It's a lengthy one with a bit of a twist I hope you enjoy! :-) Thanks for the continued support and I look forward to your reviews and thoughts on this chapter! As I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE - HUNDRED &amp; THIRTEEN**

**(PPOV)**

Weeks had gone by since I'd woken up in Jacob and Bella's house and my memories of what landed me there in the first place had not returned. I laid low for another week after that, only doing light patrols and steering clear of any extensive pack duty until I had properly healed. In no time at all, I was back on my feet and feeling right as rain. I resumed regularly scheduled patrol shifts, sticking primarily to the border of La'Push and letting Seth and Leah take up the rest. Things were returning to normal without much effort and the pack had treated me the same as they always had, all but one... Leah.

Her continence toward me was awkward at best. She avoided direct eye contact with me and on more than one occasion, had even switched patrol shifts with Embry and Jared, just so she wouldn't have to run with me. I found it annoying and a bullshit move on her part. The cold way she had been treating me, as of lately, was unwarranted, and I planned to say as much the next time I got her alone. Last time I checked, I had done nothing to piss her off, but then again my memory had been pretty well shot these days. Sure... I was known as the pack jokester... the instigator... the rebel... even the ass at times... but something about this silent feud between Leah and I felt different to me. I had let it go for a while, chalking it up to hormones and just her being a damn woman, but after the third patrol shift change, I'd had enough. She was making the duty of the other pack members more difficult this way. Jared had to pull a double three times last week alone and he needed a break from all the filling in, and Embry was becoming irritated with her for the same damn reason. Whatever her problem was with me, she was just gonna have to deal with it, or confront me, so we could all move on. It was what was best for the pack.

I was just stepping out of the shower when I heard the rasping of knuckles on the warn and rickety wood of my cabins front door. I huffed out a sigh of irritation, as I wrapped the heavy towel around my waist and trudged out to open it. I was dead on my feet from patrol this morning and in desperate need of some shut eye, so whoever it was would have to make it real fast.

I paused by the door when I caught sight through the window of Leah's dark hair swaying in the wind, as she tapped her foot, impatiently waiting for me to answer her knock.

I cussed aloud and threw the door open in agitation. After the way she'd been treating me, I was ready for this argument.

"Well look who it is!" I sneered at her in disgust. "Get tired of switching up the patrol schedule finally?"

"I didn't come here to fight with you." She asserted, storming past me in a hurry and entering my kitchen.

"Hey..." I half yelled to her, whipping around. "I didn't invite you in."

"You were going to..." She confidently replied with a huff.

"Like hell I was. You must be delusional, sweetheart... after the way you've been treating me lately, as far as I'm concerned, you can land your ass right back out on the porch." I replied, reaching for her arm.

"Stop being such an ass. Would you!? For just two damn seconds! Do you think you can manage that!?" She snapped, her dark eyes wandering down to my bare chest, as she pulled her arm free of my grasp.

"Why should I?! Huh? You've been nothing but a bitch to me since I came back from Jake's. I've had to deal with your shit for weeks."

"I know." She replied in a low tone. The sound of it, remorseful, instead of biting like it had been mere moments before.

I snapped my mouth shut upon hearing her sudden change in approach and took a step away from her, seeing the solemn expression she now wore.

"Why are you here, Leah?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I don't know..." She replied, with a shrug of her shoulders. "I figured you deserved some sort of explanation."

"Damn right I do. So let's have it. Tell me what pissed you off about me this time? I mean... I know I can be an ass... a big ass sometimes, but I must have really fucked up bad this time around, and still not even remember it for you to be so damn angry with me for this long."

"I'm not angry with you..." She meekly replied, hanging her head further.

I swallowed hard as I struggled to understand just what she was implying.

"You're not angry?" I soon questioned.

"No..."

I thought back to when she first joined the pack and how cruel I had been to her. Always coming out with some kind of asshole comment about her being a woman... proclaiming how she weakened the pack and made our jobs harder. Truth was... she had definitely proven me wrong since then.

"I say stupid shit sometimes, Leah." I confessed. "So... if I said something to hurt you... whatever it was... I'm sorry, alright? Can we just move on? Go back to the normal patrol schedules like we used to. You know... before... back when we made a good team?"

She lifted her head with her remorseful expression still in place. Her eyes glossy now, like she were struggling not to shed a tear. It was a side of her I rarely ever saw.

"You thought we made a good team?" She quietly asked.

"Yea... absolutely. We run well together. At least... I thought we did..."

She simply nodded to me in reply and her eery silence made me think I had said something truly ignorant... Something that cut her deep.

"What did I say? And why the hell can't I fucking remember it." I huffed to her in frustration.

"You didn't say anything... or do anything... it's not your fault, but I've been treating you like it is... and I'm sorry for that."

"Leah... you're not making any sense here ... what's not my fault?"

She looked away from me then, like she would rather answer any other question but the one I just asked her.

"Leah?" I soon hedged, taking a few steps closer to her.

"That you can't remember. It's not your fault... I just wish I_ couldn't_ remember." She vacantly replied then, before bolting right by me and out of the house.

I followed after her, catching her arm before she could run into the woods.

"Hey!" I snapped, holding firmly to her wrist. "What the fuck is your deal here? You apologize and then just run?"

"Let go!" She yelled, fighting against me.

"No!" I protested, yanking her in closer to me. "Tell me what the hell that was supposed to mean!"

Living without my memories for weeks on end had left me feeling like something had been ripped from me, and I was determined to get the truth out of Leah if she possibly knew about what had happened to me.

"Paul! Let go!" She demanded.

"What aren't you telling me, Leah! Enough with all the fucking secrets!"

I watched her face turn red as she suddenly looked away from me with clear embarrassment. I glanced down to see that amid our struggle, the towel around my waist had fallen down, and I was now completely naked in front of her. Something that wasn't exactly a rarity in our line of duty, but she blushed anyway, as I hastily snatched up the bath towel and tried to cover myself, all the while, still keeping hold of her. She yanked her arm free, but didn't run like I thought she would, instead, she stared at me like she had never seen me naked before, which given our pack duties, couldn't have been further from the truth.

I secured the towel and watched her as she nervously bit her bottom lip, her eyes wandering over my bare chest again before meeting my own.

I took a step toward her, seeing her do the same in return.

"I can't tell you, Paul... I can never tell you..." She sighed. "I'm sorry for the way I've been lately, and I'm sorry that I can't explain myself better, but you know as well as I do that the rule of the Alpha is the law. So it has to be this way."

I felt my temper immediately flare at her words. "Yea... well I guarantee you that the Alpha is sleeping a hell of a lot better than I've been lately."

I saw Leah's face suddenly darken with my accusation, and her anger returned then with a vengeance.

"Don't dismiss Jacob like that!" She snapped. "You don't know what this has done-"

"I don't know because no one will tell me the truth, Leah!" I yelled, advancing on her so we were almost nose to nose.

She cowered down upon hearing my irate tone, and backed herself away from me with a disagreeing nod of her head.

"I shouldn't have come here. Whether you believe it or not, you're better off not having the memory, Paul. Take it from someone who knows. I would give anything to be able to forget all about Sam... all about what we shared before he imprinted on Emily, but it doesn't work that way for me. So as far as I'm concerned, your amnesia is a blessing and not a curse."

She ran away from me with that final harsh word, phasing as she ran and disappearing from my line of sight in seconds. I shook my head in fury, gritting my teeth together as I headed back for my cabin.

What the fuck did she know!? As if living without your memories was so much fucking fun!

I slammed my door shut, hearing the small cabin walls rattle from the force, as I hunkered myself down at the kitchen table with an audible cuss leaving my lips.

She was wrong about Jacob losing any sleep over this. Sam himself had told us that Jacob just needed a break from the pack responsibility for a while. Bella was having their child in a matter of a few weeks, and she needed him close by. We all understood that and no one blamed him for his leave of absence from us. He carried a lot of weight being Alpha, and he had a duty to this pack and one to Bella, and Jacob had never been one to take either of them lightly.

I shook my head in disgust as I grabbed some jeans and pulled them on, my hands still shaking from anger, as Leah's remarks swarmed around my head.

We all knew what kind of torment she had endured when Sam had imprinted on Emily. Every one of us were privy to her inner most thoughts about it and it got old after a while. I myself had told her to get the hell over it a time or two.

Not my finest hour... I admit.

Leah was always angry after what happened with Sam, her demeanor was usually edgy and not many could get close to the girl... only Seth and her mom...

I let out a heavy sigh as I thought of Sue Clearwater and just how pissed she'd be with me now if she could see how I had just yelled at her daughter. I may have had my differences with Leah, but I genuinely cared for and respected Sue.

I was startled out of my thoughts when a soft knock came to my door. I inwardly grimaced as I walked over to open it.

I was in no fucking mood to continue this fight with Leah, but to my relief, I saw Bella standing there with her arms carrying another basket of food. She'd been doing this lately, baking... all the time. Jacob had no complaints of course, but even a wolf could only eat so much.

I swung the door open with half a smile, gesturing to her rounded Belly.

"You know... you shouldn't be carrying anything in your condition."

"Paul... I'm pregnant... not old and feeble... thanks." She chuckled, handing over the full basket to me.

I set it on the table and saw her face light up when I devoured two of the muffins she had made.

"Remember to chew!" She laughed, coming over to help me unload the rest. There were cookies... three different kinds of them... and two dozen blueberry muffins.

"Jeez Bella... you keep this up and we'll all be too fat to run patrol." I sighed, seeing her face fall a bit from my attempt at a wise crack.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tucking her in closer to me with a sheepish grin.

"I was only kidding, you know."

"I know..." She replied in a whisper.

"I gotta say... you're a sight for sore eyes tonight."

"Really? Why's that?"

"You just missed Leah's bitch fest." I huffed. "Too bad... it was one hell of a show, too."

"Paul..." Bella sighed. "What did you say?"

"Why would you assume it was my doing?"

"Well..." She shrugged, stepping out in front of me with a well knowing glare.

"Yeah... okay... sometimes I can be a bit of an ass... or say the wrong thing, but not this time, Bella. You know she's been avoiding me like the plague lately. I'm sure you've heard it through the pack rumor mill that she's even switched up patrol schedules to avoid running with me. You seem to reason with her far more than any of us do... what the hell gives?" I demanded.

"Leah's just been through a lot, Paul. She lost Sue and Harry... and she's trying to support Seth and be the mother figure he needs right now. It's a lot... so maybe you're taking it too personal?"

I scoffed at her implication with a dismissive roll of my eyes. "You can't be serious!"

"I am."

"That still doesn't make any sense, Bella. Why would it just be me she wanted to avoid? She seems fine running with anyone else!"

"Let it go, Paul. She'll come around."

"Yeah... well I'd prefer it if she didn't bother. No good came from her visit tonight." I sneered.

"You have to be at least cordial to one another. She is part of the pack just like you. Cut her some slack, Paul." Bella replied, with a weary smile.

I reached out and touched her cheek, seeing the flush of color there. "How you holding up? Must be getting anxious to meet the little one."

"I'm more anxious to feel like me again and to know their healthy, of course." She tiredly sighed.

"Is there a reason to think otherwise?" I questioned, recognizing the worry that laced her features.

"No, No... doctor says all is well. Just a waiting game now."

"You'll be a great mom, you know." I assured her.

"You have far more confidence in me than I have in myself these days. I'm so exhausted, and I can't help but think if I'm already this wiped out, how can I care for a little one... someone who depends on me for everything..."

"You're worrying over nothing, Bella. It will be like second nature to you and you have Jacob... and all of us, too."

"Thanks."

I nodded and grabbed another muffin, offering her one as we headed into the living room.

"I'm not hungry, thanks." She softly replied, sitting gingerly on the couch and grabbing the blanket there to throw over her. It was her routine when she came here, and I had grown used to her company lately.

"Speaking of Jake... Haven't seen him around much these days. I know he's taking a break from the pack with your due date approaching, but -"

I paused the thought when I saw Bella's pained expression at the mere mention of him.

"He's exhausted too, Paul. I think this time away from the pack is good for him. He needs it." She soon replied.

I nodded in agreement and sat down next to her. "Everyone needs a break sometimes."

"Definitely." She agreed.

"So how many weeks left? Exactly?"

"Three ... only three weeks. Hard to believe, huh?"

"Sure is..." I replied. "Have you and Jake finally settled on a name?"

"Yeah... we have..."

Her tone was barely that of a whisper as she laid her head on my shoulder.

"So... out with it..." I hedged.

"... Sarah... We wanna name her Sarah Elizabeth..."

I reached for her hand, taking it in mine with a tight squeeze.

"After Jake's mom... That's really beautiful, Bella. I'm sure it means a lot to him."

"It does... It means a lot to the both of us. I wish she could be here for this."

"She'll be watching... I know it... What does Billy think?"

"He's thrilled with the name. Brought tears to his eyes when we told him."

A cell phone ringing from the kitchen stopped our conversation, as Bella stood with a knowing glance in that direction.

"That's probably Jake... I didn't tell him I was coming to see you, so I should get back. He worries a lot more lately when I'm gone." She admitted.

"Understandably so." I replied, ushering her to the door with a hug goodnight. "Thanks again for the goodies, Bella."

"Anytime... you know it." She replied, placing a small kiss to my cheek, before stepping out into the cooler air of the evening.

I watched her drive off before calling it a night myself. I was exhausted and needed the sleep, but by the time I finally got some shut eye, it began to pour, and the sound kept me awake. I didn't find it soothing the way most people would have. To me, it was just racket.

I suddenly heard the sound of a lone wolfs howl echo from outside. I quickly got up and jogged over to the window, before the howl came again. I stripped, and headed for the wet forest, phasing mid air and running to meet the sound. In no time at all, my thoughts were linked with that of another...

Leah...

Her thoughts were rambled and I struggled to make sense of them as I ran.

So many flashbacks of her and Sam were bombarding my own thoughts that I could barely keep enough focus to track her location.

When I finally reached her, she was laying still on the forest floor. Her howling ceased as she gazed up at the moon, and her racing thoughts soon quieted.

I approached her slowly, seeing her jump to her feet in a defensive position when I got close enough.

_"What the hell are you doing here?"_ She snarled my way.

"_Hard to sleep with all that damn noise you make."  
_

_"Go to hell would you!"_ She huffed back.

"_You first, Sweetheart!"_ I barked to her in challenge._ "You know I'd kick your ass if you weren't a woman!"_

She snarled louder as her ears laid back. _"What's the matter Paul, too much of a coward to admit to the others that you got your pompous ass kicked by a girl!"_

"_In your damn dreams, Leah!" _I bit back._  
_

She came at me then, charging me and plowing herself in to my right side. The hit took us both down to the muddy forest floor and I rolled, pinning her beneath me.

She fought back and sunk her teeth into my upper torso. I yelped but didn't budge, as she continued to fight me.

_"Give it up, Leah. I'm twice as strong as you are and you damn well know it."_

_"Sexist pig!"_ She growled._ "You're all the fucking same."_

I jumped off her, swiping my paws on the ground beneath me with a loud roar.

"_Don't blame me for what happened between you and Sam. Stop throwing your shit on everyone else!"_ I barked her way before turning and running full tilt back for home. I wasn't gonna hurt her... she was a woman for shits sake. What kind of a monster would that have made me if I had tore into her?

It wasn't long before I heard her thundering paws coming up from behind me. I glanced back then, seeing her running as fast as she could to catch up.

_"Go back home, Leah! You don't wanna start this with me! I promise you'll regret it!"_ I warned, breaking free from the heavy blanket of the forest and phasing back to human form.

She was behind me in seconds. Her roar loud and menacing as I turned to face her, my own blood boiling.

"Go home!" I yelled, pointing to the woods and turning away from her to retreat inside. It wasn't long before I felt her hand roughly catch my shoulder in an attempt to turn me around. I pulled away from her, turning back quickly to lock eyes and seeing the pain etched in her face. It aged her and made her beauty fade right there before me.

"Fuck you, Paul." She spat, her tone as cold as ice to me now.

"You don't ever listen do you!" I snapped, catching her wrist in my hand and yanking her over to me so her naked body was inches from mine. I let my gaze fall, seeing her chest heaving with her labored breaths, and though I tried, I couldn't help but look.

Her figure was any mans fantasy. She had long tanned legs that went on forever and a tiny waist. Her breasts were full and I had to force myself to meet her heated glare and to stop gawking at her naked form.

"You should leave." I warned her, though my tone wasn't as stern as it had been just moments before. I hated to admit it, but she was having an affect on me. She shook her head to me in direct defiance and I watched the anger in her gaze change to something else... something needy ... something carnal.

"Leah..." I warned again, looking past her toward the darkened woods. "You shou-"

I was cut off by her sudden advance then. Her lips claiming my own in a kiss so unexpected that I immediately pulled back from her. The both of us staring at one another with clear uncertainty and doubt.

"You don't want me?" She asked, her voice cracking on the last word.

It was a vulnerable side to her that I had never witnessed before and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt for my quick response to her.

I felt her hands tentatively touch my chest, her fingertips grazing down my bare torso, like she were testing the waters with me.

I saw her eyes light up with a hungry lust, as they wandered to a point south of my waist. Her hands trembling with nerves now as she rested them on the my chest.

The rain began to fall heavy again as I pulled her body to mine, feeling her pressed fully against me, as the soaking rain covered us from head to toe. I captured her lips, feeling her tongue meet mine with a needy moan from her. Her fingertips dug into my shoulders as I kissed her thoroughly, feeling my body respond to her.

I quickly cupped her ass, lifting her up so her long legs could wrap around me while I carried her into the house.

In my head, I knew this was no more than just a physical release... one we both needed... With no strings attached... and no need to tell anyone... or no need for complicated commitments to worry about. The only problem with that notion was the fact that everything would be extremely difficult to keep as a damn secret, given the pack mind and how it worked.

Fuck... and then there was Sam...

Fuck...

Her teeth suddenly grazed my bottom lip and I lost all control. Pressing her naked body beneath mine on the kitchen floor before any other thought could creep in... except one... and that was the thought of just how damn good she felt.

How her skin molded to mine... How her nails raked down my back with a loud and throaty moan the moment I pressed my firm length against her.

"Please..." She whimpered there beneath me, her tone no more than a ragged whisper that soon turned into a strangled cry when I entered her without reprieve.

I knew there would surely be hell to pay when this got out... but right now ... I didn't give a shit what the consequences were.


	112. Chapter 114

**A/N: Hello guys! I'm back for another long overdue update. I like where things are headed for Paul and I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always thank you for your loyal and continued support! HAPPY READING! I look forward to your reviews! :-)**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN**

**(PPOV)**

Small and delicate hands roamed over my bare abdomen as my eyes slowly opened to see her there above me..._ Leah_. Her hair in her face as she leaned down to kiss me. The feel of her soft lips against mine made me ache for her all over again.

What the hell were we doing?

I couldn't stop myself from taking her last night... over and over again... and now here she was still in my bed, at the crock of damn dawn.

I had patrol to run in a few hours...

Sam would flip his shit if he knew... but then again... what right did he have to judge me? He had chosen to be faithful to Emily... to obey the imprint. He had made his choice and now I was making my own.

My thoughts were interrupted by the soft moan that came from Leah as my hand wandered to firmly knead her left breast.

It was only physical between us ... Right?

Everyone needed a damn release now and again, and Leah had needed it just as much as I had last night.

I felt her small hands touch my face as her kiss grew hungry. I gripped her hips and guided her down, feeling how warm and wet she was for me already. She rocked her hips back and forth, creating a rhythm that drove me insane. I watched her as she rode me with abandon. Her head falling back, and her eyes closing like she were lost in the moment. I drank her in, the image of her, watching her bite down on her bottom lip in an effort to silence herself. I tried to keep my hands on just her hips, reminding myself that this was not love making... it was purely sex... but I couldn't stop myself from reaching down and finding her sweet spot with my thumb. A visible shudder coursed through her tiny frame and her eyes flew open to meet mine. I kept her gaze, feeling her quicken her rocking motion above me. Her hands came down on my chest to better balance herself and I damn near exploded when she cried out my name. Her orgasm hitting her like a tidal wave... dragging her under with no remorse. I saw her strength soon begin to peter out and I quickly flipped us, placing her trembling body beneath mine without breaking our intimate contact. My thrusts were near punishing and the bed creaked with each one, as her nails dug into my shoulder and her cries grew louder and louder.

_She. Felt. Amazing._

How the hell had we been denying ourselves something like this for so long. I should've taken her months ago.

Sweat dripped from my chest onto hers as I collapsed on top of her with one more final thrust. My release leaving me with no words. I stilled only for a moment to catch my breath, not wanting to linger too long in the hope to avoid any emotional entanglement. The moment was long enough though... long enough for her fingers to run through my hair... long enough for her lips to graze my ear and for her softly whispered "Thank you," to be heard. I paused there with her, knowing the mess we were undoubtedly creating, but still unable to break eye contact with her. I had seen Leah in many forms... Angry... hurt... bitter... remorseless... rude... but I had never witnessed just how passionate she could be until now and I had to admit... it was intoxicating to behold.

"You don't need to thank me." I replied, placing a kiss to her forehead. "You're amazing..."

She stared up at me in disbelief, like I was speaking a foreign language to her.

"What?" I asked, gently removing myself from her and rolling over onto my back.

"Nothing... I just... haven't heard that from anyone in a long time."

"Well ... you should hear it more often." I sighed.

"Can we... keep this between us?" She meekly asked, her tone almost bashful and somewhat adorable.

"I think that's best."

"Good..." She sighed.

"But for the record... what you and I did here last night and this morning... is our business and no one else's." I clarified.

She nodded and slowly got up from the bed, finding an old t-shirt of mine on the floor and quickly dressing.

"I know... but I should go. Can I borrow this? Just to get home in?"

"Sure... You don't have to leave so soon... you can stay... have breakfast if you want. I mean... I'm no chef but I can handle the simple dish of eggs." I chuckled.

She offered me half a smile and a shrug in response to my offer.

"If you're worried about Sam-" I began, sensing where her thoughts were.

"I'm not... I'm worried what this means..." She admitted.

"Does it have to mean something?"

"No... I'd prefer if it didn't."

I nodded to her, getting up and pulling on some jeans.

"Then it doesn't."

"I hope you can forgive me for being so rude to you... before?"

"It's all good, Leah. No worries." I replied, tossing her a pair of my sweats so she wouldn't be half dressed. Her long tanned legs were one hell of a distraction.

"I'm hoping things can return to normal between us?" She asked with a sigh.

"I don't see why they can't... I still wish you'd tell me the truth about what happened to me?"

"You know I can't..." She mumbled, tucking her arms under her chest.

"I know... wolf order."

I saw her face fall and decided to change the subject.

"So... no breakfast for you?" I offered again.

"Maybe... some coffee?"

"I can do that." I assured her.

She followed me out into the kitchen with a bashful grin on her normally emotionless face.

"You're... different, you know?" She soon hedged as I brewed a fresh pot of Joe.

"What do you mean?" I replied to her in confusion.

Her face turned red and she shrugged her reply, suddenly unable to meet my inquisitive gaze.

"I mean... you're... not like you normally are... I guess I expected something much different."

"Should I take offense to that?" I asked with a knowing grin.

"No." She scoffed. "It was a compliment..."

"Oh..."

"Don't sound so shocked."

"Not used to hearing something like a compliment from you..."

"I wasn't always so... intolerable you know? ..." She defended, sitting down with me at the table with her coffee in hand.

"I wouldn't know."

"True..."

A silence fell over us then... one that was surprisingly comfortable. Leah seemed perfectly content to stare out the window. Her gaze was far away and contemplative.

I took a sip of coffee, my mind contemplating the possible downfall of Sam finding out about us. After what had took place with him and Jacob before Bella returned, I had seen first hand how damn ugly it could get and I wanted no part of it. I was certain he would say something to me the moment he got wind of it.

"Do you regret last night?" Leah suddenly asked, her tone laced with apprehension.

"... No... do you?"

She shook her head with half a smile. "Neither one of us belong to anyone... so..."

"We belong to ourselves and that's the way I prefer it." I sighed.

"You don't want things to be different? To settle down."

I laughed aloud and stood from the table. "Hardly..."

"Why?" She asked, following close behind me as I headed for the shower.

"That kind of lifestyle might be suitable for some... but not for me..." I balked.

Leah shrugged and lingered back, her silence cluing me in on her feelings upon the matter.

She had been burned... badly... and I wouldn't blame her one bit if she chose to keep her relationships purely physical and free from any kind of emotional entanglement.

"Are we on the same page here?" I asked, turning on the hot water in the shower and stripping down in front of her.

She bit down on her bottom lip, as her gaze fell away from my naked form, like she were embarrassed to admit what she wanted in the moment.

"I guess..." She then mumbled, hiding her face away from me with the sleeve of my shirt she wore.

I chuckled as I approached her, lifting her chin up so she would meet my gaze.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of you know..." I whispered, bringing her lips closer to mine. "We're allowed..."

"It will complicate things if we continue... if Sam-"

"Stop thinking about Sam." I interrupted, grazing my bottom lip against hers. "He's not here... but I am..."

Her breath hitched as my hand slid up her naked thigh, feeling the smooth skin there before cupping her ass. A whimper left her as she pressed herself further into me, feeling the evident swollen desire growing between us. I was hard for her long before I had even claimed her lips with my own and she put up no protest when I hauled her into my arms. She was quick to strip free of my shirt, leaving her breast bare before me. A needy moan escaped her when my lips sought the hollow of her neck, as I carried her into the shower, pressing her up against the tile wall. Her hands were in my hair, tugging at the roots as my tongue swirled her pert nipples.

She felt nearly weightless in my arms, her tiny frame easy for me to hold up.

I slid her body down, until I was sheathed to the hilt in her slick hot flesh. She arched her back with a trembling cry as I began to move with her. Her full breasts pressed firmly against my bare chest. She clung to me as I moved her up and down, feeling how tight she was with every thrust and biting back a moan of my own as her lips sought mine. I picked up my pace, keeping her steadied in my arms.

"Fuck..." She whimpered, her body trembling around mine. "Ugh..."

I felt her nails soon scrape harshly down my back with her climax, her voice cracking as she cried out my name.

"Paul..."

The way she said it... how needy it sounded... did something to me... I hated to admit it... but it did.

The water began to run cold and I quickly shut it off, keeping her in my arms with her legs securely wrapped around my waist. Her lips captured mine in a desperate kiss as I carried her into my bedroom. Her soft tongue meeting mine while her hands came to cradle my face. I laid her on the bed, covering her body with mine. Her hips bucked up to eagerly meet my thrust ... her breathing heavy and the sound of her whooshing raspy moans in my ear, as I moved in and out of her... building a rhythm that had her legs shaking.

I met her gaze for a moment, brushing my nose against hers and reveling in the unexpected intimacy that suddenly took hold of me. I slowed my pace with her then, as she stilled there beneath me. Her deep brown eyes searching mine in a way that left me feeling open and exposed to her. Like she could see right through me. I kissed her again, feeling her lips tremble and tasting the sweet honey of feminine arousal on them. Her body molded to mine like clay in the hand of a skilled potter.

I wanted to shape her to me... to make her ache with pleasure.

My hand sought hers, entangling our fingers above her head as I tasted the flesh of her neck... her collar bone... her shoulder.

She arched against me when my teeth grazed her pert nipple, biting down gently until she whimpered helplessly. I couldn't help myself... I wanted to taste her... every inch of her.

I made my way down the center of her waist, running my tongue along the soft and supple skin there. Her body visibly tensed when I withdrew myself from her, seeking out her hot flesh with my hand, feeling her wet heat under my fingertips, as I ran them along her sensitive folds. She quivered beneath my touch, her breath catching in her throat and her chest heaving when my fingers slipped inside her, my thumb coming to circle her sweet spot until she cried out for more. I touched her with a gentleness I had never shown to another, exploring her and listening to every sound of pleasure she made. Hearing her... was like music to my ears. The raw and intense noises of her pleasure soon filled the small confines of my cabin. I felt her tense when I moved my mouth closer to her sex, her hands suddenly stilling their movements in my hair.

I looked up to see her face full of a shyness I had never seen on her before. It was plainly clear that this act was new territory for her so I chose to proceed with slow caution. My tongue gently parting her folds with tender strokes and flicks. Her legs shook all the more when I tasted her further, enjoying the sweet dew of her delicious arousal as it divinely lingered there on my lips. I hungered to make her cum on my tongue.

"Paul..." She breathed... "Don't stop..."

My fingers worked in and out of her while my tongue circled that sweet swollen bead of nerves that made her head fall back and her eyes flutter closed in ecstasy. Her cries of pleasure were loud and endless as my tongue flicked, over and over... pulling forward her release with every stroke of my tongue.

Her climax hit her with a force that made her back arch and her entire body tense. I felt her insides clench around my fingers as her orgasm spread through her like a fire, leaving her shaking beneath me. She opened her eyes, and reached for my hand, drawing me back up her body until my swollen and firm length was oozing at the tip and pressed against her wet center.

Her trembling hand reached down in between us, and she began to stroke me, her thumb circling the wet tip before guiding me inside her.

Her name came tumbling from my lips before I could stop it and my pace grew pounding.

I was intoxicated with her... craved her... desired her... It was something neither one of us had ever expected, but she felt so right... so damn good... like her body was meant to fit with mine.

With a final thrust, I poured myself into her, leaving the both of us utterly breathless.

I laid there with her, seeing the sun light up my room as it touched Leah's face. Her smile wide when she kissed me once more, pressing her forehead to mine.

"Who would've thought..." She whispered.

"Not me..." I admitted in reply.

We both chuckled at that and the sound of her laughter was beautiful to me. I hadn't heard her genuine laughter in a very long time and it was nice to hear.

"No strings right?" She asked when I rolled over, taking her with me.

"If that's what you want..." I complied.

She tucked her head into the groove of my neck, her hair cascading down my chest with her sigh of contentment.

"I like this..." She soon admitted to me, as I ran my fingers through her hair, feeling the silky strands glide through them effortlessly.

"I like this, too Leah..."

In that moment I felt something wash over me that I hadn't felt in a long time... something I was unfamiliar with..._ Peace._

It was the kind of peace that left you content with life and all of its uncertain surroundings and it made me wonder just how platonic this thing with Leah really was. Maybe I had overlooked her like a fool all this time? Maybe her bitterness had clouded her beauty so much so that I had dismissed her as just another member of the pack, but lying here with her now, it was clear to me, even if it wasn't to her, that there was something intoxicating between the two of us. Call it a carnal need for lustful pleasure... an erotic high if you will, but the truth was... I wasn't sure what to call it..._ yet._


	113. Chapter 115

**A/N: Hello Everyone! This chapter is exciting and something new as it will be done in Leah's point of view! I hope you all enjoy and I look forward to hearing your thoughts in your reviews! As always... thank you for your endless support and HAPPY READING! :-)**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN**

**(LPOV)**

It was near noon before I could pry myself away from Paul. I was in deep shit for being late for patrol already and not looking forward to seeing Sam. Since Jacob had taken a leave of absence... every patrol shift or meeting had been like nails on a chalkboard for me. I was tired of even hearing Sam's voice, and to be completely honest, I was starting to really miss Jacob's leadership.

Last night had been... unexpected ... to say the least.

Of all damn people... Paul!...

Surely I had lost my mind, right? The two of us together would be like oil and water... we would never mix.

He swore to me before I left his cabin just now that he would keep his mouth shut about what took place between us, but I knew better than to think that would last for too long... especially with us running shifts together now!

I took off for the forest. Heading in a dead sprint for the Lumber Yard... where I was scheduled to show up thirty minutes ago.

Sam was gonna have a fit...

I rounded the bend and came to a skidded stop when Seth damn near collided with me. I had been so caught up in my thoughts about Paul that I hadn't even heard him phase in.

_"Hey... watch it!"_ I snapped, seeing the cloud of dust settle around us.

_"No... I think you had better watch it!"_ He snapped in return, inching toward me with a snarl. _"What the hell are you thinking, Leah?"_

I shrunk back from his tone, taken by surprise at the evident anger and hostility in it.

"_Get out of my way... I'm late for patrol as it is."_

"_No shit... Why do you think I'm out here? Sam sent for me when you neglected to show. Nice going."_

_"What's your problem!"_ I barked back, losing all patience with his rudeness.

_"My problem is where you've been..."_

I lurched forward, ready to have a snarky comeback, but immediately shut my mouth when I put two and two together...

Shit... he knows...

He had heard my thoughts...

_"You... know?"_

_"Of course I know! Now what do you think will happen when Sam finds out! This pack has already been through enough. Jacob is still a mess from losing his sister-"_

"_Fuck Sam!"_ I snarled, inching closer to him, so we were nose to nose. _"He doesn't have a right to my personal life!"_

_"He does when he's your Alpha! Jacob left him in charge!"_

_"I don't care."_ I snapped.

"_You should... you know what happened when Sam found out about what took place between you and Jacob... before-"_

_"Yeah, I know... but ... this is different! Jacob was a drunk mess back then... He thought he had lost Bella forever... and I was in no better shape... so big fucking deal... we screwed... one time... and it meant nothing... I still care for him and respect him as my Alpha!"_

_"How is it different?! ... Wait... Are you... telling me it's different cause that meant nothing with Jacob... but this thing with Paul actually means something to you?"_

_"That's not what I meant!_" I snarled, darting out around him.

_"You already almost destroyed Sam and Jacob... Don't do it again, Leah! It's selfish! You know damn well what Paul's been through."_

_"Yeah... except Paul doesn't even know!"_

_"That's the way it should be! Tell me... is this a recent thing...?"_ Seth barked.

_"No... I mean... yes... but that's how you all want to live ... in denial! Now... get the hell out of my way, Damn it! Or I'll run clear over your ass!_"

With those final biting words, I bolted away from him, following the trail to the clearing and seeing Sam and Embry already pacing there, and eagerly waiting for me. Lucky for me... they were both in human form which meant neither of them had been privy to my thoughts or to Seth's for that matter.

"Bout damn time you show? Where you been, Leah?" Sam harshly asked, his dark eyes shooting daggers at me from across the way.

"Yeah, Leah... What the fuck gives? We've been waiting-"

"She showed, alright!? So lay off." Paul suddenly interrupted from behind me. "Are we gonna start patrol or what?"

His tone was edgy and definitely typical for him .. _Good._

"What's been holding your ass up?" Sam sneered with a roll of his eyes. "You know... just because Jacob's not here... doesn't give you two the right to pussy foot around. Get your shit together and be on time from now on."

"Sure thing, Sam." Paul replied with a mock salute to him.

"I mean it!" Sam redirected.

"I know!"

"Alright... you and Leah stick to the borders today. You'll cover through till dusk and then Embry will be back to take shift for Leah."

"About that..." Embry suddenly piped up.

"Oh Bro... don't even-" Sam sighed to him with a knowing scowl.

"I need to catch up on some studying. You know, College entrance exams are coming up! I have to study sometime!"

"It's cool." Paul suddenly sighed. "I'll take your shift."

Sam shook his head with a suspicious look our way. "Oh really? Since when do you like pulling a double?"

I hung my head in worry while awaiting his answer.

He was volunteering to run with me... something he never did...

"Since... today... I guess... What's the big deal... ain't like I got any plans. Might as well do patrol, right? Besides, with Embry's IQ... he'll need a full week to study and actually pass those entrance exams!"

I saw from the corner of my eye the glare Sam shot to him, before shrugging his answer and trudging off for the woods with Embry in tow.

"Thanks man! I appreciate it."

"Yeah,Yeah... Sure thing, Jackass... but you owe me!" Paul yelled to Embry in reply, before stripping and phasing before me.

I kept my gaze on the tree line, trying to listen for them... to see if they'd linger. The last thing I wanted was for Sam to be snooping around. I already had Seth to worry about.

"_What about Seth?_" Paul interjected, as he linked with my thoughts.

_"He knows..."_

_"What?"_ He huffed. _"How!?"_

"_I wasn't careful enough... Sorry..."_ I admitted, turning away from him and heading for our trail.

_"Hey... hold up!"_ Paul yelled after me.

I ran fast and hard, seeing him easily keep pace with me. I noticed he had_ purposefully_ stayed beside me, instead of always going ahead like before. This was unlike him.

I kept any remaining thoughts silent as we went.. so not to spark a conversation I really wasn't in the mood to have, but as the day wore on, my thoughts grew restless. What Seth had said earlier was harsh and hurtful... something he had never really shown to me before. Since mom had passed, I had noticed a slight change in his overall demeanor and it was beginning to worry me. Seth was always sweet and mom would never want him to lose that.

_"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Leah."_ Paul softly interjected with a subtle nudge into my side, as we stopped for a drink by the river.

_"You weren't there... you didn't hear how angry he was ... with me."_

_"He shouldn't have said those things."_

_"Really? Cause from where I'm standing... seems pretty justified and accurate to me."_

Paul huffed loudly then, signaling his strong disapproval to me.

_"You're allowed-"_ He soon began in defense.

_"I know I'm allowed... but should I?! There's a difference... I mean... he was fucking right about Sam and Jacob... look what that mess caused... Sam nearly died for shit's sake! We thought he was ruined from that!"_

_"That was Sam's doing! He even knows that himself! He pushed Jacob in a way he never should have, Leah! Threatened to ban him from his own fucking land. He knew the mind frame Jacob was in at the time and he refused to leave well enough alone. I used be pissed at Jake for doing that... for taking Sam's title... but now... I believe he had it coming. Don't get me wrong... I respect Sam, but he should have backed off when he had the chance."_

_"I still caused the majority of the fallout."_

_"You were hurt and he was... alone... without his imprint... and drunk... shit happens. This is..."_

_"Different?"_ I asked, meeting his wolf gaze with mine.

_"...Yeah... it is..."_

_"What the hell does that even mean?"_

_"It means we get to decide where this goes... or where it doesn't go... if that's how you want it."_ He huffed my way. _"But either way, Leah... it's our choice... no one else's. You gotta stop living for other people... it gets you nowhere."_

_"Don't you think that's the kind of selfishness my brother was just accusing me of?"_

_"No... I don't actually... I think it's the kind of selfishness that keeps us sane... I sure in hell wasn't expecting things to happen the way they did last night... but they did... and it... we-... we weren't wrong for allowing it to take place. So... nobody's laying a fucking guilt trip on me anytime soon... and after all you've been through over Sam... you shouldn't ever let somebody lay a guilt trip on you, either. Don't apologize for what felt good..."_

I went silent as he drew up another drink from the river. My mind rushing with the events from last night.

How it had felt to be together with a man for the first time since Sam...

How intoxicating it was for me...

Paul raised his head from the rivers edge, his ears suddenly perking up as he gazed far past the trees. I changed the direction of my thoughts and focused on his alertness, signaling me to a presence he picked up on before I had.

"_We got company."_ He huffed, striding over to me with an ease about him.

I listened to the stillness of the slight breeze rustling it's way through the tree tops, as another voice soon clouded my thoughts. It was one that I hadn't heard in weeks and one that I missed.

Suddenly and without warning, my mind was filled with the clear image of Rachel.

I whipped my head toward the tree line and barked out an order to Paul.

"_Go check the border... Sam needs you there. I'll check on Jacob."_

"_No way... it's the first time he's phased when any of us have been out here for weeks... I should-"_

_"Paul! Just go! Please! Can you trust me with this?"_

My tone was biting but I truly didn't mean it to be cruel... I had to put some distance between him and Jacob... for his own sake.

Paul snarled once, but did as I asked.

"_I'll be back for you when I'm done running the border."_

_"Thank you..."_ I softly huffed, watching him run away from me in the opposite direction.

I took off as soon as his fur disappeared from the moonlights glow, my thoughts being overrun with Rachel's final moments... All of Jake's thoughts were overwhelming and heavy, and the closer I got to him... the more desperate they became.

I slowed my strides when I saw his wolf form come into view, as I neared the town line of Forks. He instantly went rigid when I tried to connect with him.

_"Jacob..."_

There was no returning greeting from him. He only acknowledged me with a slight turn of his head.

I moved slowly, approaching him with extreme caution, as another gust of wind blew around us.

_"I know you probably want to be alone-"_

_"I do."_

I stopped my advance at his words, hunkering down in the sticks on the ground there beside him.

His fur was longer than I'd seen it be in some time. He hadn't cut his hair since that night ...

_"Does Bella know you're out here?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Okay."_

_"Where did you send Paul to?"_

_"I sent him to patrol the border for a while..." _I softly replied.

"_I'm sorry... I should have paid more attention to my surroundings before phasing."_

_"It's okay."_ I assured him.

A good amount of time passed and neither of us opened up our minds any further to the other. It wasn't until I heard him rise up beside me did I then attempt to make anymore conversation.

_"Where are you going? Home?"_

_"No... Bella's sleeping... she needs her rest... and I can't rest right now."_

I took a stride toward him, studying his wolf gaze and seeing the emptiness there.

_"How long has it been since you slept?"_

_"... I-... I don't know... two... maybe three days..."_

My heart broke for him as he admitted this to me.

_"You can always stay here you know... I mean... I know I like sleeping in wolf form better than in my own bed sometimes."_

_"I've tried that..."_ He huffed with a nod to me.

_"What about your dad's?"_

He raised his head as a whine left him and I immediately regretted my ill thought out suggestion.

Of course he wouldn't go back to his dad's... where all of Rachel's things were...

He turned to walk away from me then and I felt myself grow desperate to help him. So I blurted out the only thing that I thought might do just that.

_"It's not your fault, you know?"_

He stopped upon hearing my thoughts and turned his head back toward me.

_"Yes it is."_

_"No... No Jacob... you were forced to do something that no one should ever be forced to do. You did nothing wrong... and we-... the pack... I-... I really miss you. For whatever it's worth, we need you to come back... To lead."_

My bluntness had stunned him into being utterly mute, as he turned himself back toward me.

_"I just wanted you to know that you're missed."_

_"I thought you hated me as your Alpha?" _He countered_._

_"Okay... Well... I deserve that... but I don't. I actually felt like I belonged somewhere when you were leading us... Like I was part of the pack for real... instead of feeling like I was just Sam's tag along ex girlfriend... You made me feel... valued... and important."_

"_You are."_

I watched him lower his gaze to me again in defeat, like he were unworthy. His sense of confidence had always truthfully grated my nerves before because it was something I wish I had for myself, but right about now, I'd give anything to see him act so full of himself again.

_"So come back... please Jacob?"_

_"... I can't, Leah."_

_"Yes you can."_ I argued.

_"You don't understand!"_ He shouted, his thoughts growing to be angry now.

I moved myself away from him, seeing his apparent anger as he moved forward.

_"Jacob-"_

_"I was willing to put this land and all of you at risk for her... " _He yelled.

_"She was your sister! I would have done the same for Seth!"_

_"NO!"_ He roared. _"You would have killed him... I know you."_

_"You're wrong."_ I replied. _"If I had been in your shoes... I would have done the exact same thing, Jacob. None of us have anything but care and respect for you."_

_"I let you all down... and in the end... what the hell was it all for? Paul nearly fucking died-"_

_"But he didn't. You brought her back to him... for him... so he could live, Jacob."_

_"I can't forget... I... I've tried..."_

_"I don't think you're meant to forget... I think your meant to carry her with you... just like you've carried your mom with you since you were little."_

I watched him as he turned from me again, his head hung low as he went.

"_At least tell me you'll keep trying to come back... to be Alpha again?"_

_"You all deserve better... Sam... Sam is better."_

I ran after him, placing myself in his path. _"You can't mean that!"_

_"I do... I should have never taken it from him, Leah... I'm not the leader you need... He is!"_

I huffed my strong disapproval, nudging into him. _"YOU'RE ALPHA! YOU'RE EPHRAIM'S GRANDSON!_"

_"... and I've disgraced him."_

I shook with anger and despair, as my emotion began to get the better of me, causing me to phase back to human form before him. He looked away, as I pulled on my clothes for cover. Thankfully... I had remembered them for this run.

He moved away from me then, but I followed behind him, seeing his evident frustration in our communication barrier now. He let out a roar before phasing and standing on two legs with me in the darkened forest. I fought hard against the rapid blush that settled itself into my cheeks, as he pulled on his jeans and approached me.

"How can you say what you said!?" I yelled.

"... because it's the truth." He replied, balling his hands into fists and biting down on his lip like he were fighting to hold it together.

"That's bullshit."

"... You gotta let this go and accept Sam as your Alpha now. I plan on talking to him in the morning about making this fill in... more permanent."

I gasped, lurching forward and grabbing his arm firmly with my hand. "What?!"

He immediately turned his gaze away from me, his jaw flexing with every firm swallow he forced down.

"It's what's best, Leah."

"No!" I yelled, shaking my head. "You're what holds this pack together. Don't abandon that."

"Sam is a great leader." He argued, pulling his arm free from my grip.

"He's not you, Jacob. He doesn't know what's best for this pack like you do... It's born instinct for you. Don't you see the difference?" I frantically pleaded, my voice strained as my eyes began to sting with the dreaded emotion that swelled in them. "Seth... he looks up to you... so much... this will break him. Please..."

I felt the tears run down my face as I reached for his arm again, pulling on him to face me. He didn't fight me, but he didn't exactly comply either.

"Sam will watch out for Seth."

"Not like you have. When we lost mom... Something changed with him... he needs someone he can look up to... and that's always been you. Since he joined the pack... you're what he wants to be."

"He shouldn't... your mom would be disgusted-"

"No she wouldn't!" I cried, releasing my grip on him and taking a step back. "Don't you dare speak for her like that. Mom loved you and Billy and your sisters... like you were her own family... she would never be disappointed in you, Jacob."

I was overcome with emotion then... something that rarely happened to me... crying was not a behavior I exhibited often.

I saw Jacob look back toward me, his hands still flexing as he stood there, like he were unsure of what to do.

"I've... never... seen you like this." He quietly offered.

"I don't show it often... it's weak."

"It's human." He corrected.

"Either way, I don't like it."

"Sam is being fair to you, isn't he?"

"Yes... but I don't like being under his thumb. I know I can be a real bitch sometimes, but I really do love this pack, and I want to stay in it... but if it's Sam whose Alpha now... I fear I can't, and if I go... you know Seth will go. Where does that leave us with numbers? We won't be the same without you, Jake. You have to see that? Don't you?"

He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face as he walked over to me. I braced myself for another impending argument, but was surprised to hear his tone softer when he spoke to me this time.

"Leah... you're not under Sam's thumb, or anyone's thumb for that matter. You're you... and you're important. I can't make you stay in this pack with Sam as Alpha if that's against what you want... all I can do is tell you how the pack will suffer if you go-"

"I won't go if you come back... I'll run extra patrols and even cover your shifts if you need me to. I understand that you might need more time still-"

"Time doesn't heal everything, Lee-" He replied, with a shake of his head.

I did something then that was completely out of the realm of ordinary for me... I hugged him.

He was startled by it and the affectionate act from me was obviously the last thing he had expected. I could tell by the way his arms hung loosely at his sides at first, before they slowly returned my embrace.

"You're meant for this pack... to lead us. It's what Rachel would have wanted for you, Jacob. She would have wanted you to fulfill your destiny and to live your life with Bella... with your baby. Honor her memory with that... don't think she would ever want you to spend the rest of your days mourning her or blaming yourself for her demise... That's not true."

His hold on me tightened when I began to let go and it gave me some hope that maybe what I had said had gotten through to him. Enough so he wouldn't solidify Sam's role as Alpha in the morning.

"I can still hear her scream... Every time I close my eyes... I don't know how to make it stop."

"She was at peace with her fate, Jacob... I remember her face. There was no bitterness or even an ounce of hatred toward you... only love."

He released me then with a solemn expression. His body still rigid with his immeasurable grief over her.

"Please think about what I said?"

He nodded his reply to me just as a distant howl from the East filtered in around us.

"You need to go... Paul may need you."

I was quick to strip and phase, running away from him with vast speed and hoping he would somehow have a change of heart.

The pack needed it's true Alpha back and that position belonged to no one other than Jacob.


	114. Chapter 116

**A/N: Hello Everyone! I know there has been a lot of concern about Jacob's mental state after the loss of his sister, but I assure you, his future in this story is bright! Thank you for reading and following along to this point and as always... HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN**

**(BPOV)**

The clock ticked away on the mantel as I draped the large throw over my legs and huddled myself into the couch, awaiting for sleep to reclaim me. It was near midnight and once again, I found our large bed too lonely to endure on my own.

Jacob had left a note on his pillow, the very same way he had each time he left in the night in search for some solace in the woods. His notes were always sweet and I never had the heart to be angry with him for his leaving at such an hour. After all, he was as thorough as he'd ever been and I never feared for my safety while being alone. On more than one occasion, I had sauntered my way out into our kitchen and gazed out the window over the sink to see a pair of wolf eyes staring back at me in the far off distance.

He had our house under close watch...

This brought me a sense of peace and comfort in his absence and told me where his true trust still remained. I was almost certain that despite Jacob's wavering stance with the pack, that their loyalty had not shifted in the slightest to him. Jacob was greatly missed by them and Seth himself had been popping in nearly every morning over the past week, questioning when Jacob would come back over breakfast. I had begun to expect his visits and even started making him his own plate of breakfast at our table. Jacob would remind me that I didn't need to push myself, but the truth was, I enjoyed having him over. I had come to miss the packs unexpected drop ins and random phone calls. I was in need of a change around here and so was Jacob.

He had spent nearly every day in this house with me... waiting on me... hand and foot...

It was sweet and I loved him for his devout care, but underneath his half smiles was a lot more confusion and despair than met the eye.

He was unsure of himself and of what he wanted for his future and while I had waited patiently for him to sort out his emotions in his own way... I was now beginning to wonder if he would ever go back to the pack. For weeks, he had been away from them and I could see the weight he bore because of this choice. He missed them... it was evident in the way he spoke to Seth over breakfast... always asking how Sam was doing and what changes he'd implemented so far.

Seth would roll his eyes and push his plate aside with disgust and then beg Jacob to come back, but Jacob would give him a stern look that told him his answer and Seth would drop it in response. My heart was heavy for him... he had always looked up to Jacob and I knew this was tough on him.

I tossed and turned a few more times as the memory of their conversation ran fresh through my mind...

"I don't understand why you won't just come back. You know we're all waiting for you to return. Sam will gladly step aside when you return."

"Seth... " Jacob replied to him with a sigh. "We've gone over this-"

"Well I'm not giving up... wasn't it you who told me once to never give up on something I really want?" Seth countered.

"That was-"

"I want you to come back and lead us. Sam isn't fit for it like he once was... he has Levi now and he's just... not you!"

Jacob poured himself another cup of coffee and simply shook his head to Seth in reply.

I offered Seth a whispered apology then as he left and thanked us both for breakfast.

I knew what he said was right. Jacob needed to get back to them. It was part of who he was.

Billy had been stopping by every Friday night with Charlie for dinner. He had offered to do so for Jacob's sake, knowing that the pictures of Rachel at his house would be hard for Jacob to see. It has become routine and it was truly nice to have them over for supper. It had given us a sense of normalcy for the first time in weeks and I was truly happy to witness it.

My thoughts were interrupted when I suddenly heard the front door to the house close, signaling to me of Jacob's return. I was quick to gather my blanket and rise up from the couch as his footsteps drew near.

"You're back..." I sighed, seeing him approach me with a sad smile.

"You're awake... I tried to keep quiet when I left-"

"You did... I haven't been awake that long..."

"You need your rest..." He replied, reaching for my hand and drawing me into a tight hug. "Come to bed with me?"

"I don't sleep well without you... you know that..."

I felt him tighten his hold on me and I relished in his warm embrace.

"I miss your smile, you know?"

He released me and met my teary gaze with his own.

"You make me happy, Bella... You know that... Don't you?" He replied, gently caressing my cheek with the backs of his warm fingers.

"You need more than just me to make you happy." I replied, leaving his embrace and heading for the kitchen.

"Bella... That's not-"

"You need the pack!" I sharply replied to him, whirling around and meeting his deep gaze as he halted his advancement toward me. My words had taken him back and my tone had been not expected... even I was shocked at how angry I suddenly sounded. "You need them, Jacob... and they need you. Not Sam! You're alpha."

My heart hammered away in my chest as I waited for him to respond. He seemed to struggle to find the right words as he looked at me with a blank expression.

I shook my head in frustration as he went mute.

"Jacob... Say something! Is this the kind of person you're going to be? Are you gonna let who you are just wash away? You can't be you without leading the pack. The man that you are and the wolf that you are... they coexist for a reason! You can't neglect one and expect the other not to suffer. I see it every time I look at you, Jacob!" I yelled, reaching my breaking point.

He was my everything... my sun... my light ... and I would do anything for him... Even this... Even if it meant he would be angry with me for it. I had to try.

He looked as if I had slapped him while standing in our dimly lit kitchen. The two of us remained there for minutes on end until he finally broke his silence. His voice hallow and empty.

"I know."

Tears gathered in my eyes as I watched the hurt flicker across his face. I went to him and took his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.

"Jake... You're. Not. To. Blame."

He kept his warm gaze on mine as a tear slid down his cheek.

"I want the memories to stop... I can't make them go away, Bells..."

"Rachel wouldn't want you to feel this way... and deep down I know you know this..."

"I destro-" He choked out with a ragged gasp to me.

"No... you didn't destroy her, Jacob... The council did... they ordered you to end her... You loved her and tried to save her... She was your sister... you gave all you were to try and fix this... and I can't stand to see you torture yourself like this anymore..."

His hands shook as he reached for me and his body stiffened as he tried to ignore the emotion that was threatening to choke him.

"Jake... you have to let this go..." I breathed, pressing my forehead against his as my arms wrap around him in a tight embrace. "This will kill you... if you don't and you have far too much to live for."

He tightened his hold on me as his head came to bury in the groove of my neck. His ragged breath warm against my skin as a sobbed ripped from him.

He needed this... Needed to let go of the past with Rachel and to move on... to take back his rightful position in the pack as Alpha.

"You have every right to grieve for her, Jacob... but you can't allow this to consume you the way that it has."

He held me like an anchor to him... like I was the only tangible thing that could hold the shattered pieces of him together.

I closed my eyes then, reflecting back upon a time when he himself had been that very person for me...

I would gladly be that person for him now... and forever...

I remembered the awful emptiness of the kind of hurt and despair he was feeling now and I would wish it on no one... especially him.

"I'll hold you together through this Jacob... but you have to let me... please." I whispered, running my fingers through his hair as his tears flowed.

The day wore on into the evening as we had spent the better part of the day simply holding each other. He had wrapped us up in a blanket on our couch and had seemed content to rest his head on my chest as the hours passed. I had offered him all the words of comfort I could, for I knew that nothing I said could ease his anguish. Words were of dead weight to him right now... no matter who they came from.

After the sun had set, my eyes had grown heavier as Jacobs breathing became more even... I gingerly ran my fingertips through his thick now longer hair, feeling the silk like strands glide through them with ease, as I glanced down to see him fast asleep. His face relaxed and his expression appearing to be peaceful for the first time in weeks. I studies his face then... seeing the light from the dim fire touch his cheeks and lashes. He was still my beautiful Jacob and through his soul had been damaged... I had all the faith that he would return to us.

My eyes closed then as Jacobs hand came to rest on the top of my rounded belly, his heavy sigh of contentment being the last sound I heard before sleep claimed me, too.

When I awoke sometime later, I could feel his hand in mine. His fingers intertwining with my own as I nestled myself in closer to him. The couch dipped as he shifted his weight, pulling up the blanket to wrap around my shoulders as a small shiver hit me. His warm body so close to mine that the chill was almost instantly erased.

I soon felt his lips as they softly grazed my cheek, his whispered words of conviction surrounding me before I let sleep take me again.

"Bella... I hear you... You deserve better... and I'm gonna give you better... I promise... I won't let you down."

There was a sense of earnestness in his tone that made my heart warm as the faint sound of departing footfalls filled the room.


	115. Chapter 117

**A/N: Hey again... I hope this chapter finds you all well tonight! :-) It was a breath of fresh air for our Jacob. I hope you enjoy! I would love to hear from you guys, so feel free to leave your comments in a review and as always... HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; SEVENTEEN**

**(JPOV)**

I took the fastest route to Sam's, running on four legs and taking in the elements of the forest around me. When I broke free from the tree line and saw Sam's house, I paused there, noticing the lights still on and hoping that my timing wouldn't be intrusive, or wake Levi.

I let out a howl and Saw Emily then appear in the doorway, her grin wide when she saw me there. Sam was fast behind her, kissing her on the cheek as he ran out to me. He was on all fours in no time, his thoughts immediately linking with mine.

_"Jake what's going on?"_

_"I need to be **here**. This is where** I'm meant to be**. I'm taking** Alpha** back."_

Sam threw his head back and let out another loud howl, as he ran with me toward the forest, following the well worn trail to the lumber yard.

_"It's always been yours."_

Our fast approach caught the others off guard as we ran to meet them. The packs thoughts were jumbled and chaotic as they invaded my mind.

"_Does this mean what I think it means?"_ Seth asked, his hopeful tone evident.

_"Are you coming back?"_ Leah added, with a howl of her own.

_"Finally!"_ Paul continued.

I paused just as we came upon the first stack of wet logs, my thoughts suddenly consumed with my sister... the understanding look she had on her face before I did what was demanded of me by the council, and just as Rebecca herself had reminded me when she made her way back home to check on me, Rachel had known what her destiny was from the start of all this. She had known her place and she knew how damn much I loved her. I was grateful to Rebecca for her words of comfort to me and though she didn't stay long enough to even grace dad's doorstep, she had at least checked on my welfare.

There was no hatred or even any trace of harbored resentment there in Rachel's gaze...

She truly had understood...

I took notice of the way the entire pack immediately hushed their imposing questions and comments, as the image of Rachel spread to them from my mind. I heard them all go silent, as a small gust of wind blew in around us from the East.

... _She_ was here... Though I could not see her...

I sauntered toward my awaiting pack, seeing them all settle down and begin to bow at my mere presence. Their loyalty had not wavered in my absence, but had appeared to grow even stronger.

I was left in awe as Sam looked to me and then fell into proper formation with the others. He himself also coming to bow to me in respect.

I huffed as Paul met my wolf gaze. His reverence evident in his powerful stare.

_"Good to have you back, Brother."_ He barked my way.

_"Good to be back."_ I replied.

I went mute as the wind blew fiercely then, catching the tops of the trees in an invisible wave as they all swayed to and from above us.

..._ She was listening too._..

I drew in a lungful of fresh air, seeing my pack ready to hear what I needed to say... to all of them.

_"I owe each of you an apology... I have abandoned you when you needed me... left you without my leadership for too long, and for that and so much more... I am truly sorry. All of you deserve more than that from me... as your Alpha... your friend... and your brother... and from now on... you will get it. Each of you have given all of yourselves to this land and to this pack... to what we represent as a whole. You have diligently and tirelessly kept a watchful eye over this Reservation and more. You all have given so much of yourselves and have thrown your own lives on the line for not only me... but for Bella. You fought hard to get where we are today... and I should have been by your side. I should have continued to lead you onward. Abandoning you was reckless. selfish and not very noble of me... so I am here tonight... at this late hour... to ask all of you for your forgiveness and for your mercy. I have not shown you the best of me lately... but I assure you that if you give me another chance... I will never abandon you again. For all of you are my family... my loved ones... my pack. I owe my life and Bella's life to you and for that I am forever grateful."_

I watched as they all moved forward toward me, each of them bowing their heads still as I thought back to my sister. My chest aching while the image of her face came clearly before me.

"_... When I-... When We... lost Rachel... not only did we lose someone we all loved, but I lost my sister... another piece of my family was taken... and I've come to realize over these past few weeks... she was just as important to each of you... all of you knew her..."_ I paused then, looking to Paul who now wore a look of true regret._ "... some of you better than others... and it wasn't fair for me to shun you during that loss... The truth is... It is times like this when we as a pack and as a family, need each other the most. For who are we without the other? We would be lost without the comradery we share. We would be lost without the loyal family dynamic we have developed over the time we have spent together. With this being said... I would to ask all of you to let me be your Alpha once again... to let me lead you the way I should have been all this time? I promise... on my word... that if you all agree... I will do my best to not fail you again."_

The trees began to blow once more, as another powerful gust swept them into a mighty current around us, causing each member of the pack to look up to me with clear distinction and understanding in their gazes.

_"Jacob..."_ Sam huffed, stepping forward so we were closer._ "You are... and always will be the chosen and rightful Alpha of this pack. The leader of this land. Take your place... where you are meant to be."_

I watched as the others took four more strides our way in unison. The sight alone making me remember just why I loved each of them so much. They were loyal... and true... even when I didn't deserve it.

_"We've been waiting for you to come back... of course you're welcome here... with us."_ Leah offered, gently nudging into my side as she came to stand next to me. _"You just needed some time for you, Jake."_

Her words touched me as Seth came to stand in front of me then, his resounding howl echoing through the dense forest around us._ "We've missed you, bro!"_

I nodded to him, turning next to address the man who had nobly taken my place all these weeks... who had given the most of himself.

_"Sam... I owe you more than-"_

_"You owe me nothing. It is I that owes you, Jacob. You could have turned your back on me... way back when I was vengeful toward you and cruel. But you didn't. You stuck with me and you gave me a second chance when I needed it the most... you very well could've saved my life... my family ... you know? So... you... my dear brother... owe me nothing. I would do it again for you."_

I took a step toward him, our heads coming to press firmly together when we both bowed them in unison.

_"Thank you, Sam."_

The pack watched as we departed, all of them beginning to howl while the furious wind continued to blow.

They had welcomed me back with open arms, and it was far more than I could have ever asked for. None of them owed me anything. They didn't have to give me this chance. After the way I had left them weeks ago, a big part of me had feared they wouldn't want me to lead them anymore... that my position as Alpha could never be redeemed or respected in their eyes again, but tonight, they had proven me wrong.

I knew that the painful loss of my sister would stay with me forever, but as I looked upon each member of my pack and heard their understanding and forgiving words, I knew that my family was right here in front of me. They were all an extension of myself and I would lead them with_ pride and honor._

It's what Rachel would have wanted for me.

I** knew** this now.

_"We will meet for patrol bright and early in the morning... "_ I huffed, seeing them all eager to run now._ "All except you, Sam... After all you've done for me and this pack.. I am more than happy to give you the day off... maybe even two. Spend some time with your family... enjoy them... please, and send my love to Emily. Thank her for me as well. She has made a great sacrifice for this pack, too."_

_"Thank you my brother."_ He huffed to me in reply, bowing his head in compliance.

_"Until then... You're all dismissed. Go home and get some sleep. I assure you that you will need it. We have a lot to go over. Dawn will be here before you know it."_ I commanded, seeing each of them break apart in different groups and head straight for home.

I watched them all go their separate ways with abundant pride swelling in my soul.

They were mine..._ all of them_.

I couldn't be prouder to lead such a pack. For they had held me together when my world seemingly fell apart.

I let out a departing howl of my own up into the night's sky, as I turned and ran full tilt for home... for Bella. My legs unable to get me to her fast enough.

I felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from me... as if I could breathe again for the first time in weeks and I wanted nothing more than to hold the one person who made that very breath catch every time she smiled at me... every time her hand took mine... or every time her blush would touch her cheeks.

She had been living with half a man for weeks. Living with the shell of who I was. For half of me had been absent for her and she deserved all of me... forever.

I made good time, stopping by our front porch to quickly phase and pull on my tattered jeans, my eyes scanning the house to see the bedroom window lit up.

She was awake...

I entered the house, hearing her soft footsteps approach as I shut the door behind me.

"Jake... Where have you been-" She began, her face full of worry as I pulled her to me, my lips capturing hers and silencing her fears.

Her hands came to cradle my face as I deepened the kiss, feeling her give in to me with a soft whimper. Her lips molding to mine with ease like always.

She soon broke the kiss, staring up at me with a look of true confusion as I slowly drew her lips back to mine.

"Jake.. wh-"

"I'm back where I'm meant to be..." I whispered, brushing her lips with mine and feeling her tremble from the simple contact.

Her eyes met mine as she reached for my hands, her smile lighting up her whole face as my words sunk in.

"Really?" She softly asked, nervousness clear in her tone.

"Yes..." I replied, seeing the joy spread across her face now. "Really... You were right, Bells. I'm not the whole man without the wolf. I can't be. I need them... my pack... and they need me."

She nodded her reply, as I placed my hands on her rounded Belly, glancing down in between us. "... And I need the two of you... and the two of you need me... all of me."

"Always..." She soon breathed, placing her hands on top of mine.

The smile on her face grew wider as a firm kick suddenly moved our hands, stunning the both of us into silence. We looked at each other in awe and wander just as another firm kick struck under my palms.

"We hear you little one... we hear you..." I whispered, lacing Bella's fingers with my own.

This was the family I lived for.

The family I would die for.

My pack was now and would forever be part of that. They were my own and I would not fail them. They had accepted me when I deemed my behavior as unacceptable.

I would not fail them again... Either of them.


	116. Chapter 118

**A/N: Alright guys... I hope all is well with you! Time for another update! :-) This time around, we get to hear from Paul again. I hope you all enjoy and as I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; EIGHTEEN**

**(PPOV)**

Our leader was back... and it was about damn time. His absence had definitely taken a significant toll on the pack, and it was a real relief to us that he had returned.

I took the long way home after the unexpected meeting with Jacob, running through the forest at a leisurely pace and enjoying the sounds of the night as I went. My pace faltered when I caught wind of an all too familiar and alluring scent, it's draw for me only raising the closer I got to my cabin... Leah.

I broke free from the trees soon to see her in human form and huddled on my front steps. Her gaze landing on mine when I studied her there. Her stare was full of an anxiousness I hadn't seen before and given the fact that she hadn't been by in days, I could only guess what she was here to say now.

I phased back to human form and pulled on my ratty jeans, seeing her look away from me then, as if she were somehow embarrassed to see me naked again.

"What... now you can't bare to look at me?" I chuckled, sauntering my way up to the steps and joining her there.

"No... I just... thought it was... n - never mind." She replied with a shrug.

I sighed and wrapped an arm around her as the wind blew.

"Haven't seen you much, lately..."

"I know... I've been... busy..."

"No..." I replied, with a knowing grin to her. "You've been avoiding me."

She glanced my way with regret on her face and it was evident that I was right.

"Why?" I asked, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Because... I shouldn't be here... like this... with you-"

"Stop..." I interjected. "Stop trying to make it seem like it was wrong... cause it wasn't, Leah... and it still isn't."

"It was... and now that Jake's back... where he should be... You and I both know it has to stop. If Jake figures this out, and he will, and it gets to Sam..."

"Jacob would talk to us first, if he found out... but I don't think he will."

She was silent as she tucked herself further under my arm, her eyes down cast and focused on the ground below.

"Come on... Let's go inside."

I took her hand in mine and led her in through the door, seeing the overwhelming doubt that plagued her pretty face as I shut it behind me.

"Are you sleeping here?" I asked, gesturing to the couch in the living room. "Cause... I could always take the couch."

"I wouldn't make you sleep on the couch in your own home, Paul." She replied. "That's rude."

"Not really. I'm just glad you're here... after not seeing you for days..."

She nodded and glanced toward the hall with hesitation, her gaze lingering on my closed bedroom door. "I've missed you, too."

I hated to admit it... but I had ached for her ever since I'd taken her in that room... repeatedly. Her face was always on my mind these days. I could still sometimes even feel her skin with mine... it had been a form of sweet torture for me ever since.

"Missed what exactly?" I replied, meeting her shy gaze from across the room.

She shook her head to me, as if she couldn't bring herself to say what she wanted... what I knew she ached for... just like I had.

I reached over and switched the deadbolt on my door so it was locked, keeping us hidden away from the prying eyes and ears of the outside world. My hand lingering there as she took a step toward me, her closeness alone making my blood nearly hum for her.

"Why can't I stop thinking about you?" She whispered, her lips dangerously close to mine.

I reached for her then, pulling her body flush to mine so she could feel the affect she already had on me. A soft whimper left her as my hand came to touch her chin, my thumb grazing over her full bottom lip.

"Because... You want me as much as I want you, Leah."

She looked desperate as her gaze met mine. The heat behind her stare enough to start a fire within me.

There was something about her... Something I had never expected.

I watched her eyes flicker to my lips and back again, as I waited to hear her say it. My hands damn near twitching to touch her again, to make her moan.

"You know I'm not gonna make a move unless you want me to..." I offered, searching her face for some kind of answer... "But deep down... away from all the fear and doubt you have about this... about us... I know you want me to touch you again, Leah. Tell me I'm wrong?"

She looked away from me with uncertainty, as her body began to tremble in my arms with nerves and worry. Like she were betraying someone who had let her go a long time ago... Someone who she could never seem to get over.

I sighed and released her, feeling her hands capture mine before I could pull further away.

"You're... not wrong." She stated then, boldly moving forward and brushing her lips with mine. The small contact enough to set my skin ablaze. "I do want you... all the time."

My mouth claimed hers before she could utter another word, her tongue sweeping my bottom lip as I pulled her against me, the bulge in my jeans growing and apparent now.

I firmly cupped her ass in my hands, making her bite down on my bottom lip, as a low growl escaped me.

I wanted to drown in her... in her scent and her sounds...

My hands roamed up over her hips and came to knead her breasts through her flannel shirt. My fingers eager to feel her skin, as I tore it from her, sending the many buttons flying across the kitchen floor below us.

Her fingertips trailed over my chest and stomach as my tongue slid across hers. The taste of her like a drug for me.

I reached for her bra then, unhooking it as she let it slowly fall to the floor, leaving her bare breasts before me. I swirled my thumb around her nipple, making it pert as I rolled it between my fingers.

Leah let out a moan and drew my lips back to hers. She pressed herself further into me as her tongue explored my mouth, while my hand ran up her back and into her hair.

I hauled her up into my arms then, unable to stop myself from taking her.

Her fingers gently tugged at the roots of my hair as I rushed us to my room, laying her down beneath me in the dark, my hands reaching for her jeans and roughly tearing them from her, as her sweet arousal hung heavily in the air around me.

Like a moth to flame ... I was drawn to her... I_ needed_ to taste her.

Her breaths were ragged when I touched her through the material of her undies, feeling how warm and wet she was through them already. I stripped them from her, seeking out her sweet folds with my fingers first and then my tongue. Tasting her arousal as my mouth gently hovered there, her back arching and her thighs trembling from the first stroke.

"Paul..." She moaned, as I flicked my tongue over her sensitive bud, using my hands to spread her legs further for me.

I took my sweet time with her, listening to the needy sounds she made and tuning into when her breathing changed... when it hitched or when it became more ragged. Her body had become like a map for me... I wanted to explore all of her... over and over again.

When she begged me to take her, her legs shaking and her body rigid with it's impending release, I gently slid two fingers into her, feeling her back arch again and hearing her cry of need as it filled my room.

I could feel her body tense, as my fingers worked in and out of her, my tongue continuing to stroke her swollen nub. Her body was teetering on the edge, her hands gripping the sheets at her sides, as she tried desperately to fight her own release. Like an ache she was afraid to give into.

"Leah..." I breathed against her sensitive flesh, as her hand sought mine... "Cum for me..."

With a final few strokes and flicks of my tongue, she exploded into her climax. Her voice becoming almost strangled as she cried out. My name is what fell from her lips.

"Oh... Paul... Fuck... Paul."

I watched as she rode out the waves of her release. My fingers now slick with her arousal as I slowly stood and took off my jeans. Leah sat up suddenly, inching herself over to the edge of the bed and reaching for me with her delicate hand. She took hold of my length, stroking me, her thumb circling the tip over and over. A husky curse left me when she drew me to her lips, her tongue swirling around my oozing tip with a moan.

"Fuck..."

She met my hooded gaze as she took me in her mouth, her full lips tightly wrapped around me, causing my head to fall back. Her mouth worked me until I reached her for, stopping her before she sent me over the edge.

I watched her as she climbed back on the bed, motioning for me to come with her. I drew up her body, placing myself at her center with a final whimper from her. My hand coming to secure hers above her head, our fingers lacing together.

"Please... Paul..." She begged me, her tone laced with raw need now.

She trembled and met my gaze as I slid into her, sheathing myself to the hilt and watching her face for any sign of discomfort.

Hurting her would never be part of this...

Her hand squeezed mine as I began to move, my face coming to nuzzle in the groove of her neck. She tried to silence herself as I found a rhythm with her, listening closely to her every noise.

"Be as loud as you need to be..." I whispered in her ear.

She released my hand and held onto me tighter then, pulling me in closer to her as my pace grew relentless and unforgiving.

My thrusts soon became pounding, as my inner wolf started to get the better of me, while her nails dug harshly into my back. I inched her down, further away from the headboard. The bed now beginning to move with us... it's creaking loud and intrusive.

Her hips began to arch and meet my every thrust, as a throaty cuss left me.

"Fuck... Leah..."

Her scent filled my room as she ached for another release, her body moving with my own ... with every deep thrust.

She became breathless as our bodies were soon covered in a fine sheen of sweat, her skin now slick with it like mine.

I watched her eyes close and her head tilt back, as her climax took her under in a mighty current. Her loud cries of ecstasy echoing throughout the cabin while I continued to pound into her.

"Don't stop!" She cried, her hands fisting themselves into my hair, as she tugged at the roots.

Her release left her spent as she tried to cling to me while my thrusting continued. I paused briefly, seeing the unsureness cross her face as I changed my position, coming to lay beside her and motioning for her to turn on her side. She did so without hesitation, and I wrapped my arms around her, drawing her closer to me until her backside was pressed firmly against me. I lifted her leg, positioning it over mine as I slid back into her, hearing her moan deep in the back of her throat. My hand spanned her stomach as I moved in an out of her, this change of position allowing me to go even deeper. I took notice of her hands wrapping around mine, as I held her tight to me, the intimacy of it not lost on me.

This was not just sex... for either of us...

No... this was becoming something different.

Her head fell back as I picked up my rhythm, feeling myself start to slip into my release. I bit back a growl, trying to fight it off longer, as Leah turned her head to kiss me, her lips seeking mine, as I poured myself into her with a final thrust. Both of our bodies utterly spent and our breathing heavy while we lay there together in the dark.

I listened to her quavering breaths, my arms still around her and my cheek pressed to hers.

I couldn't recall a time when I'd ever shown this kind of intimacy to another woman. Normally... by now... I'd pull away and take a shower.

Right now... that was the last thing I wanted to do.

As if Leah could somehow hear my thoughts, her fingers suddenly laced with mine.

"Can... I stay... with you?" She asked, her voice almost inaudible.

I didn't answer her, I simply tightened my grip on her and placed a kiss to her shoulder as she drifted off to sleep in my arms.

Yes... This was different...


	117. Chapter 119

**A/N: Okay, I won't lie... I'm excited about this chapter! I hope you guys enjoy! :-) HAPPY READING!**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; EIGHTEEN**

**(PPOV)**

I awoke to the dreaded alarm blaring, my head pounding from the mere screeching of it's hated signal to get up. I felt my arms instinctively draw her back to me as she reached over to shut it off... Leah.

I stilled as she nestled herself back into me, her naked form huddled in close to mine while she closed her eyes.

"Just five more minutes..." She softly begged.

"Maybe... but Jacob will have both our asses if we're late, hun..."

I saw her eyes flutter open when she heard the endearment, the term even catching me by surprise.

"... Hun?" She asked, seeing me sit up in bed and hurry to get dressed.

"Yea... sorry about that..." I replied, slipping on my jeans and heading for the kitchen in desperate need of coffee.

"I - I didn't say that I minded it." She suddenly offered as my hand lingered by the door. "I... just haven't been called somebody's anything in a long while."

I turned back to see her now sitting on the edge of the bed with the sheet wrapped around her. I swallowed hard as I thought back to just a few hours ago... how right she felt... how good we were together... and how it made me feel. I wasn't good at telling someone how I truly felt... never had been and keeping women as a physical option only had damn near made me an expert at demonstrating emotional detachment.

But this... Somehow... this was different... She was different.

I approached her then, crouching down in front of her by the bed as she looked to me for the kind of security I wasn't so sure I could even give her, but I still had to be honest.

"Leah... listen-"

"I get it-" She quickly interjected, with a wave of her hand. "No explanation needed. I mean... we agreed to keep things simple-"

"No, Leah... listen to me." I replied, seeing her get to her feet and walk out around me, as she searched for her clothes on the floor.

"You said it wouldn't be anything serious and I knew that from the start. Hell... I'm the one who asked for it to be that way in the first place... so it's fine... really-"

I shook my head, rising to my feet and catching her by the arm, as she hurriedly buttoned her flannel shirt. "I don't want it like that, Lee. I- I don't."

She stilled at hearing this from me, her eyes meeting mine as she pulled her arm free from my grasp. "You ... don't?"

"No... I don't. You know I'm just me... stubborn and difficult and an ass sometimes... and you know my past-"

"I do..." She agreed, crossing her arms over her midsection.

"So it's no secret that I'm known for-"

"Catch and release..." Leah added, looking away from me with clear rejection beginning to creep into her face.

I reached for her, bringing her lips to mine in a hungry kiss that quickly consumed us both, leaving us breathless and wanting more of what we couldn't have right now.

"I don't know what this is, Lee... but it's something... and I'm not ready to just let it go... so no... for you... it's not a game of catch and release, okay?"

"... Okay..." She replied, taking my hands in hers. "What do we do if Jacob or the others find out?"

I paused at her question, pondering over the many angry scenarios that stood to unfold if this got out the wrong way or to the wrong person. I sighed, placing a kiss to her forehead and opening the bedroom door for us, suddenly thinking of the one person who would listen and who could help me with this... the one girl who had come to be a true extension of who I was lately... Who seemed to understand me like no one else... Bella.

"I'm gonna talk to someone... first... about us and I need you to trust me with this."

"What?" Leah countered, coming to stand in the kitchen with a desperate and terrified look on her face. "If y-you're thinking of going to Sam then-"

"I'm not, Leah. I'm not going to go to Sam. I'm going to tell Bella. She will listen and she'll help us."

"What! Paul! That's insane! She is the Alpha's soon to be wife!? You can't tell her-"

"She's one of my best friends, Leah. That girl has stuck her own neck out for me more times than I deserved, and I trust her. She will know how to approach this with Jacob."

Leah grew silent as she gathered herself by the front door, her eyes glued to the clock by the stove. "We have to get going. I'll leave first... so we won't show up at the same time. You should linger here a bit... that way nothing looks suspicious."

"Deal." I replied, seeing her ready to leave, her eyes wide with fear.

"I... I'll see you later."

"Yea... you will." I assured her.

She nodded once and ran out the front door of my cabin without a look back, bolting straight for the forest. I stood in the doorway, watching her go, my eyes catching sight of the slightest movement from the far left of the bordering tree line. I stepped out and waited for him to get up the nerve to show himself, his stance wary and fueled with an anger I had never seen from the kid...

"Seth..." I yelled, watching him head straight for me. His face contorted in anger.

"So it's fucking true! Your screwing my sister!" He shouted, getting in my face and shoving me backwards. His strength had doubled since he had first joined the pack... back when he was just a puny fifteen year old. His push caused me to stumble back. My anger flaring as he came at me. "You stupid fuck!"

He swung and missed, giving me the upper hand, as I grabbed him from behind and whipped his arm behind his back. "Seth! Cut the shit!"

"No!" He shouted, maneuvering his way out of my hold and taking another swing, this time connecting with my face.

I felt my lip split as I spit out the rustic blood that began to pool in my mouth from his hit.

I wiped my mouth with my forearm, taking a deep breath and remembering who this kid was... my own brother... Leah's blood.

"You're gonna get hurt!" I warned him with my hands up in defense as he swung again. I moved and caught him from behind once more, placing him in a choke hold and demanding he stop.

He fought me hard, but in the end, I was still a lot stronger than he was.

"Let me go, Paul!" He shouted.

"Not until you chill the fuck out, bro!"

I swung him around, tossing his ass into one of my empty kitchen chairs and telling him to stay put.

He glared at me with a hatred I had rarely seen from him. I glared back myself, trying to calm my own temper as I wiped the corner of my mouth again, which had almost already healed from his hit before.

"You can't keep me here. Jacob needs us at the Lumber Yard in forty minutes." He yelled.

"You came at me, Seth!"

"I heard you!" He yelled, making my head whip back up to see his heated glare. "Yeah... that's right... I followed her here after the meeting with Jacob... I knew she was lying... Knew where she was going. So I waited for her to show herself when she was done in here with you... so I could confront her... only she never came back out cause she SPENT THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

My head swarmed with the images from hours before... we had not been silent... not even close... and he had heard it all.

"Seth..."

"No! There's nothing you can say, Paul. So don't even try! As far as I'm concerned... you two deserve each other! Both of you are so selfish! You both know what this will do when it gets out. It will force Sam to leave the pack. After all he did for us! He won't want to listen to your thoughts! Knowing you and Leah and together!" He shouted, hastily getting to his feet to leave.

I grabbed hold of him by the shoulders and sat his ass back down.

"Hey! Sam made a damn choice, Seth! He chose Emily! Remember?!"

"You're just using Leah! I know you and I know what this is!" He angrily spat back. "Sam imprinted on Emily, Paul! It wasn't like he cheated and left her willingly. The imprint made his choice for him! What the hell was he supposed to do!? You of all people should know what that can do to a person... To a wolf... To have to live without their imprint-"

He stopped short then, his face full of anger and regret all at that same time. My blood ran cold as he tried to back peddle.

"What did you say?" I asked, taking a step toward him.

"I just - I - I meant that you-"

"...Should know what it's like to live without an imprint?" I spat back, feeling my head pound as the many missing pieces of my memory began to rapidly click together all at once. The word alone from him now bringing forth an onslaught of images that overtook my mind. The face of a woman I had only previously knows from the pictures on Billy's walls, or from her impromptu visit to the Reservation to see him and Jacob.

I stared blankly ahead as her face continued to flash before me...

Rachel Black.

My head began to pound so violently that I staggered forward, clutching it in my hands in search for some kind of relief.

"Rachel..."

Her name left my mouth without warning. The sound of it unfamiliar and foreign. I could hear Seth yelling to me, but couldn't find the way to pull forth enough focus needed to actually listen to him. Right now... his words were just collected and scattered background noise.

"Paul!"

I felt a warm trickle run down over my lips, its rustic taste making my stomach churn, as the pressure in my head suddenly released, my nose now bleeding onto the kitchen floor below me.

Without warning, a softer voice called out to me, ripping me from the agony and anchoring me to her.

"Paul... Paul."

Delicate hands cradled my face as I tried to get to my feet, stumbling forward and falling into her.

Leah pulled me close to her, cradling my head to her chest, like she herself were trying to shield me from this... whatever _this_ was.

The pressure in my head was replaced with a violent headache, the brutality of it, causing my vision to blur. I couldn't help but clutch my head and beg for it to stop.

"Stop... make it stop." I begged Leah, as she held me there on the floor.

"Go Seth... Go get Jacob!" She yelled to him, holding me tighter to her.

"Leah..."

"Shh... you're gonna be okay, Paul. I promise... just hold on."

Her words were muffled by the immense pain as my mind was then suddenly invaded by images of Leah... memories of her... when I first saw her... the first yelling match we had... the first time the pack had learned that Sam had imprinted on Emily and how devastated she was... The first time I felt her heartache filter through me from the packs connection... these images were suddenly replaced by ones of us in the front yard of a house with laughter from small children surrounding us... a little boy clinging to her and looking at me.

I groaned as I felt a rapid shift take place from within me, like every muscle in my body had been pushed beyond it's limit and then released again. I felt as if my skin was now on fire, a fever of some kind coming on without warning and leaving me a wash of sweat as it broke.

More images plagued me as I hunkered in on myself, there on the floor with Leah, trying to ward off the pain somehow as it spread through me like a raging fire. Images of Leah smiling at me, in a white dress, a bouquet of flowers in her hands and tears in her eyes, as an overwhelming applause came from somewhere around us.

I tried to move but felt as if my body had been weighed down and rendered immobile in this moment. It was maddening and infuriating.

I felt Leah's fingers run through my hair, her hands shaking as I forced myself up onto my knees and met her tearful gaze, holding it with my own and seeing my entire future there in her eyes.

"Paul..." She whispered, still cradling my face as the realization struck me.

She was the weight that held me...

She was what now secured me to this world...

Nothing else... No one else...

I would die for her... give all of myself to her... never abandon her... protect her with every ounce of myself until the breath in my lungs ceased to exist.

Leah was now my end and my beginning...

For without her ... there was no me...

No Paul the man... No Paul the wolf...

Leah was mine... my partner... my reason for being.

The other half to my soul... The hand that I would forever reach for.

Leah was my imprint...


	118. Chapter 120

**A/N: Okay so, I am really spoiling you guys with the updates this week! What can I say... more inspiration has hit me! Thank you for your reviews and I look forward to hearing more from you! Love you all! xoxo**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY**

**(JPOV)**

I was a mile out from meeting the others when the chaos began to unfold, the loud intrusion of madness surrounding me, invading my thoughts without warning, and causing me to abruptly halt my run.

_"What the hell were you thinking!"_ Collin yelled.

"_I had a right to say something!"_ Seth defended, his tone vile and menacing.

"_Bullshit! Now look at what you've done!"_ Brady harshly bit back.

_"Leah's a grown ass woman, Seth! She can make her own damn choices!"_ Embry yelled.

I took off toward the Lumber Yard then, on a dead run, as the loud chaos continued to unfold.

_"Jacob..."_ Seth called out, as I pushed harder to get there._ "I didn't mean to-"_

Images from his mind then connected with my own, revealing what he had seen just moments before. I let out a whine as Paul appeared in the memory, his face contorted in agony as he staggered forward, clutching his head in his hands. My sisters name is what he spoke, his pain amplifying and causing him to further fall into Leah, who was there with a panicked expression on her face.

I howled and soon broke free from the tree's, seeing the rest of the pack there waiting for me, all of their wolf gazes growing wide in alarm as they now saw the many images for themselves.

The council had warned us of this before... of the possibility of him regaining his memory, and in turn, his agony over Rachel. It had lingered silently in the back of my mind for weeks, but Sam had diligently watched Paul for signs of this, signs of his memory coming back, and so far, he had seen no reason for alarm or concern..._ until now_.

I approached Seth with a huff, seeing him lower his head to me in shame.

_"You told him..."_ I growled, losing my temper as I stepped closer to him.

_"Yes."_ He admitted. _"But you don't understand..."_

"_Silence!"_ I ordered, seeing him hunker down below me as the Alpha command reigned over him with palpable weight. _"There's no excuse for-"_

I paused, as Leah's thought's suddenly linked with my own, signaling to me her phase in.

_"Leah..."_

I was hushed by her memories as she approached us then, the look in her gaze desperate, as it all played out before me...

... The look on Paul's face... the intimate connection they had shared...

_"Where is he? Take me to him."_ I huffed, seeing her nod and take off into the forest. _"The rest of you stay put till we return!"_

Leah bolted with new speed, her pace threatening to even outrun me as she went along the warn path to Paul's cabin.

"_It... wasn't... all Seth's fault, Jacob. He's just... being a brother."_

_"I know, Leah. But his thoughtlessness could have very well just set Paul's memory back in motion... That's why the council was so damn strict to put a gag order on us all. He directly defied that... and me... when he told him!"_

_"I know..."_ She replied, picking up speed as we neared the back yard of Paul's cabin. _"He's burning up, Jacob... I did all I could before I left to help him... he begged me not to go, but-"_

I skidded to a stop, hearing the regret in her voice and studying her stance, as we looked on toward Paul's tiny cabin.

_"There's more, isn't there?"_ I asked, seeing her avoid my watchful gaze.

_"I..."_

_"Leah..."_ I pushed, getting closer to her._ "What set Seth off in the first place?"_

She lowered her head in apparent guilt as she nodded toward the cabin._ "He... found out... about Paul and I."_

I stepped in front of her, seeing her hesitantly raise her head to look me in the eyes.

_"... It wasn't supposed to happen like this, Jacob. I'm damaged goods... everyone knows that... It doesn't make sense."_

The pieces of this started to rapidly fall into place for me, as she began to open up her mind more, revealing that this wasn't a simple one night hook up for them, like I had naively assumed just seconds prior.

"_This is much different now ... isn't it?"_ I countered, seeing her eyes wander again to the cabin.

_"Yes."_

"_You're... not damaged goods, Leah... You never have been, but now... you're unequivocally his, aren't you?"_

She let out a soft whine, as I stepped back and assessed her defeated stance.

_"Come with me."_ I instructed her, turning and heading for Paul.

She followed cautiously behind me, her distance making me know how torn she felt about this. Her and Paul had barely tolerated each other until recently, and now... neither one of them could live without the other.

I phased there by the porch, pulling on my jeans and instructing her to do the same. She followed suit without much hesitation.

"You're coming back in with me... He needs you, Leah... no matter how unexpected this is... believe me when I tell you... A wolf without their imprint... it's the worst kind of agony. You feel utterly numb... lost without direction. There were days before... for myself... when I was without Bella... I swore I was dead... I felt as if bleeding was the only way to know I was still alive."

"I know..." She nervously replied. "I remember. I don't want to put him through that. He's already been through enough."

Her eyes welled up with unshed tears as she shook her head in confusion.

"You're afraid..." I stated, watching her tears trickle down her cheeks as I reached for the door.

"I don't know how not to be."

"This is different, Leah." I assured her.

"You don't know that. When Paul and I started this... we both agreed to keep it casual... no commitment and now-"

"Things changed for a reason."

"... and what reason would that be? I can't give him children, Jacob." She cried. "Isn't that the point of all this? Of imprinting!? You know I've never liked the idea... because of what happened with Sam!"

I turned and took her by the shoulders, seeing her emotion begin to get the better of her.

"Leah... Sam loved you a lot. He didn't abandon you on purpose and it wasn't your fault. He had to obey the imprint."

"If that's how this really works... rips people away from the one they really want to be with then I hate it even more. You know how I feel about it. All of you do. I would have loved Sam forever... but ... I see him with Emily and how much he treasures her-"

"Paul will treasure you the same way, Leah. The very same way I cherish Bella."

"Jacob... it's entirely different. You and Bella built something before. You guys were close even when you were little... way back when your mom was still here. You loved her before you became what you are. Anyone who knew you and had eyes could see it. They could see how much you longed for her to be yours. The imprint just made that pull for you much stronger. It made your dedication even more solid... that's not even close to this situation. Paul lost Rachel... she... could have given him children... before she was turned. That connection made sense before things happened the way that they did. What kind of explanation could there possibly be for us?"

I pulled her into a tight embrace, trying to reassure her. "I need you to trust this... to trust what the spirits see in store for the two of you. Don't underestimate them, Leah. The plans they have for the two of you might be much bigger than you have for yourself. Don't doubt their direction. They'll guide you through this."

I released her and took her by the arm then, as I opened Paul's door, noticing the blood drops on the kitchen floor. We walked into the living room, seeing Paul there on the couch, his head still clutched in his hands and sweat dripping from him like he'd been standing outside in the damn rain.

He raised his head, seeing Leah beside me, his eyes lighting up with a recognition that I knew well, as she took his hand and sat with him.

"You came back..." He breathed, his tone hoarse and unnerving to me.

"Told you I would." She assured him.

Paul laced their fingers together and looked at me with a painful expression.

"I know now... everything Jacob... I remember it all, Bro. Comes to me in waves."

"I'm sorry, Paul. Council placed us all under a gag order. It left me no choice." I replied.

He shook his head and asked Leah for a glass of cold water. She retreated into the kitchen to get it for him, as he warily stood and reached for my shoulder.

"Jacob... I remember you... what they commanded you to do."

I swallowed hard as he let out a shaky breath.

"Paul-"

"No, bro... I'm sorry... for all the times I gave you shit for not coming back. I didn't know-"

"No, you didn't... you don't owe me anything. You're my brother..."

"She was your sister." He countered, his gaze meeting mine with true remorse.

"She was... but... She knew you needed her ... to stay alive until the council could get to you. Until they could heal you. She made that sacrifice willingly. That's the kind of person she was. What you're feeling now is... a side effect... more or less... They warned us this could happen. Seth mentioning it to you... broke the gag order and caused your memories to return. Hopefully... with a few days... you'll be alright, Paul."

"He didn't mean to-"

"Doesn't excuse it!" I interjected with a stern look. "He had an obligation to obey my order and he failed."

Leah returned with his water then, handing it to him and helping him sit back down on the couch. I watched him study her face, like a blind man who was seeing the sun for the first time. He was awe struck with her... in the very same way he had been in utter awe of my sister.

"Do you need anything else?" Leah offered, taking the water from him and offering him a cool cloth for his forehead.

"No..." He replied, reaching for her hand again.

I swallowed hard as a memory of my sisters face came to me. How her smile would be radiant right now if she could see the two of them... unexpected and all... she would be overjoyed for him. I know she would.

"You need rest-" I asserted to Paul.

"You need me back soon... I should be able to-"

"No... I won't hear of it, Paul. Get rest and plenty of it. That's an order. I'll be back to check on you in a few hours."

Paul reluctantly nodded as I headed to leave, seeing Leah follow behind me. Her eyes still wide with uncertainty in all this.

I pulled her aside as we approached the door, my tone sincere and hushed with her.

"Leah... just be here... with him. Your presence alone will be of a great comfort to him and believe me when I tell you... you're enough and you're not damaged goods. You are the sole reason he wants to be on this earth now. His whole world revolves around you. Remember that. Don't fight it or be afraid of it. If you give this the chance it deserves, something tells me, you'll grow to love him just as much as he loves you. Imprint or not. Don't let that be the determining factor of your relationship. You were drawn to him before this happened... there was something there between the two of you... so embrace it. I have faith that the two of you will stumble across your own path soon enough... one that fits right for the both of you."

She nodded and hugged me, her petite stature feeling almost breakable in my grip now. "Thank you... and please.. please go easy on my brother. Having you disappointed in him... it will devastate him, Jacob."

"I'll address him when I get back to the Lumber Yard."

"He needs your leadership ... now more than ever." She softly added.

"I know you're worried for him, Leah. He's your brother, but trust me with him... He's one of my own, too. I'll handle this, alright."

She waved as I stepped off the porch and headed back for the woods. My mind flooded with this new development.

Paul and Leah... who the hell could have ever seen that one coming...

I bolted through the wet forest, feeling the temperature rise as the afternoon peaked. It wasn't too long before the many thoughts from the others invaded my head, leaving them all stunned into a temporary silence when I revealed to them where Leah was... and why she was there.

_"What!?"_ Embry exclaimed, seeing me hastily approach them.

_"Are you serious!"_ Quil huffed. _"Paul and Leah! They can barely st-"_

_"Hush!"_ I barked. _"Not a word of mockery or disrespect from any of you. I expect you all to show them the same kindness and understanding you would want shown to you. Given the circumstances, yes... it is ... new and... a bit... unexpected-"_

_"I'd say!"_ Embry huffed, quickly hushing upon seeing my glare of disapproval.

"_Just shut up! Please!" Seth growled, his ears coming to lay back._

_"Nonetheless... show them respect and give them some time to... get used to this... Paul will be okay but he needs his rest... and not a word of this to Sam until I speak with him. Got it?" _I commanded, my gaze landing back on Seth intentionally.

_"Got it."_Quil piped up in agreement.

_"Yeah, man... whatever you think is best."_ Jared huffed, with a doubtful look our way._ "But... he's gonna lose his shit when he finds out."_

_"Jared!"_ I reprimanded.

_"What?"_ He countered. _"It's not like I'm the only one here fearing this! Holy shit, Jake! As if it wasn't awkward enough for us all to have to listen to the Leah, Sam and Emily love fest... or hate fest... now... we gotta throw Paul in the mix."_

"_Hey... ease up, man."_ Quil added with a snarl._ "Paul nearly died... let's not forget how lucky we are to still have him with us. So I say this is a good thing. Everyone deserves something... with someone... who cares if it's Leah. As long as he's happy. Never know... this may help them both."_

I huffed his way, showing my approval for his statement. He made a damn good point.

"_That still doesn't help Sam! We all know he still cares for Leah!"_ Jared argued._ "I'm just stating the obvious."_

"_None of you are to say a word to him. I will address him first. I mean it. That's an order."_ I roared, coming to stand next to Seth, who had yet to meet my gaze since I'd returned._ "All of you need to partner up and take patrol shift. At seven... Seth and I will return here and relieve you. Go..."_

They all dissipated from us at my command, each of them tossing looks of sympathy to Seth as he hunkered in on himself, preparing for me to unleash on him.

I watched as Quil finally disappeared from sight, his look to me remorseful for Seth as he went.

There was a silence that hung in the air around us, as I reflected on the many times Sue had been there for me and Billy over the years. I closed my eyes and drew in a lungful of fresh air, as her face came abruptly to my mind.

I owed her more than I would ever be able to repay her for... I would never get the chance to do so now that she was gone.

I lowered my head, nudging into Seth's side and waiting for him to raise his head.

Being Alpha was something I was proud of... something I was honored to be... but wielding power and devout authority over someone's head had always been hard for me to swallow. To me... everyone in my pack was a damn equal. Not one stood above the rest. They were all mine and I cared for each of them greatly.

"_Seth... look at me."_

He slowly rose, his stance uneasy and his eyes beholding me with evident fear and apprehension. It made me think of Sue... made me remember that he was Leah's sister... and yes... my brother... a member of my pack... but first and foremost, he would always be her boy, and I had promised her a long time ago, after Harry had died, that I would look after her son.

_"What you did was wrong and-"_

_"Unforgivable."_ He meekly added, looking away from me.

_"No."_ I firmly stated. _"That's not how I do things, Seth. You know me better than that. Don't you? Nothing you could do would ever make me turn my back on you... nothing."_

_"I guess."_ He replied, his tone less than convincing.

I took a step back, reminding myself that when I had left this pack to Sam, I had essentially abandoned them all, and that was something I was gonna have to atone for... in many ways... this being one of them.

I swallowed my pride and drew closer to him, seeing him step away in fear.

_"I'm not gonna reprimand you like that."_

"_Why not. I deserve it."_

"_Maybe so, Seth. But what good will that do me? You forget, I know you. Better than you know yourself, probably. I know you live for this pack. That you give all of yourself to us. That's part of who you are."_

"_That's who mom wanted me to be."_ He replied, his strained tone cracking on the last word. _"But that's not what I really am... She would be ashamed of me now."_

_"Stop... that's not true, Seth. Your mother would have been proud of you no matter who you turned out to be."_ I clarified.

_"She always thought so highly of you, Jacob. Like... you could do no wrong. Sometimes... I think you should have been her son."_

_"Seth!"_

He shrunk away from my tone and I had to remind myself to watch my temper. He was clearly confused and hurting and he needed my guidance, not my harsh reprimand.

"_It's true, Jake."_

"_Your mother loved you and Leah. Very much. You were her boy and she asked me to look after you... and I haven't lived up to that lately. I'm sorry, Seth."_

He shook his head with a huff in reply, his gaze refusing to meet mine again.

"_I left all of you ... when you needed me most. As a leader, I owe you all so much more than that."_

"_You lost something dear to you."_

_"So did you, Seth... I know how much your mom meant to you."_ I countered, stepping further in front of him so he would actually look at me.

_"She did... She always made me feel like I was understood and accepted."_

_"You are."_ I assured him.

"_No... I'm not... not really..."_

His response made me fill with unease and sadness, as he stepped back away from me.

_"Seth ... talk to me... What's really going on with you?"_ I hedged, seeing his fearful gaze linger on mine.

_"I'm not... essential to this pack, Jake. I'm in the way, if anything."_

"_Of course you're essential to us-"_ I firmly stated to him in reply.

_"I'm never gonna be you.. a leader... I don't even know who I am anymore."_

"_Seth, I need you in this pack. Do you hear me? You're a brother I can count on. You are essential to us. Don't ever question that."_

_"Yeah... essential at screwing things up."_

I watched him as he turned away from me in shame, seeming to wait for me to just dismiss him without a second thought. I huffed and glanced back toward the forest, seeing the tree's sway in the wind. It dawned on me then... Seth didn't feel like he belonged anywhere anymore. With Sue gone and Leah now on a new quest of her own... with Paul imprinting on her... she belonged with someone else... somewhere else. He felt utterly misplaced at home and probably everywhere else. I thought of Bella and knew immediately where her giving heart would be with this.

"_Seth... you belong... you will always belong."_ I reiterated to him.

He turned back to look at me with such devout sadness that my own heart began to feel heavy. Sue would never want her boy to feel this out of place or this alone.

"_May I be dismissed now?"_ He meekly asked, lingering over by the tree line with a huff. _"I'll understand if you ask me to leave the pack for a while. I went against your direct order... I deserve to be punished."_

I approached him with understanding, my heart going out to him as he stood there awaiting for me to tell him to leave.

"_You're right. What you did was wrong and harmful to Paul... but I want you and need you in this pack, still. I have a lot left to teach you, Seth... and we're gonna start right now. With you coming home with me for a hot meal. Bella's been cooking up a storm lately. She calls it nesting or something like that._" I chuckled, seeing his gaze soften at my offer.

_"Jake, I couldn't ... I'd be impos-"_

"_You could never be an imposition. You're my brother, too Seth. My family. Come on... Let's go."_

I was relieved to notice him hesitantly follow me, as we hit the trail that lead us to my back yard.

He needed someone to direct him... someone to teach and encourage him... and I'd made a promise to Sue that I'd be that someone.

It was a promise I was going to live up to now.


	119. Chapter 121

**A/N: Hey everyone! Okay, so this chapter has been one that I've been nervous about posting for a while. So, please, please let me know what you think! Reviews are always welcome and HAPPY READING and HAPPY (soon to be) THANKSGIVING!  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - ONE**

**(JPOV)**

Seth had remained all but silent as we headed for my house. His lingering silence was unsettling and my worry for him increased when he suddenly stopped short at the border of my back yard.

_"Come on." _I hedged, seeing him stay back and look on with hesitancy.

_"Its intrusive of me to ju-"_ He began, his wolf gaze growing leery.

"_No it isn't. Bella will love having you here."_

_"She needs... rest... not intrusion right now."_

_"Seth..."_ I countered._ "Our house has been all too silent these days. Truth be told, I think Bells has been missing the activity just as much as I have. She loves you guys like her own... so come in... stay for dinner."_

He huffed my way and cautiously proceeded to phase back to human form and head inside with me. His steps slow as he went.

Bella was just turning off the stove when we came in, her eyes bright when she saw who had accompanied me home.

"Seth!" She beamed, her entire face lighting up as she went to him, embracing him like he were a long lost brother... which in reality... he was to her.

"Hi, Bella." Seth meekly replied, his cheeks turning red as he took in her rounded belly. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good... all things considered." She laughed, touching her stomach to further emphasize how far along she was. "I say any day that I can actually get my own shoes on is a good day in my book."

Seth laughed and returned her beaming smile with a genuine one of his own.

"Sorry I didn't call first, honey." I offered, stealing a kiss from her when she handed me a warm bowl of beef stew.

"That's okay... Seth... I hope you're staying for dinner?" She asked, her tone hopeful like a child on Christmas awaiting to open their favorite toy under the tree.

"Well... if it's not too much troub-"

"Of course not. Here..." She replied, grabbing a bowl from the cupboard and filling it to the brim for him. "You're welcome here, anytime. Will Leah be coming, too?"

Seth shot a pleading gaze my way as he fumbled around for a reply.

"Not tonight, Bells. It's just Seth, alright?"

Bella nodded with her grin still in place, as she handed him the bowl and a spoon. "Well there's plenty to enjoy. I've been baking like a mad woman these past few days. I swear it's nesting..."

Seth chuckled as he raised a knowing eyebrow my way. I shook my head and offered him a cold beer, sliding it across the able to him with a wink. "You're off patrol for now... one won't kill ya'."

"Thank you." He replied, taking a mouthful of beef stew.

After the third bowl from each of us, Bella offered dessert and Seth was eager to dive into that, too.

Cherry pie...

His favorite.

Seth eyed the dish with half a grin, as Bella scooped out a generous helping of Vanilla ice cream for the both of us.

"How'd you know Cherry Pie was my favorite? Mom used to-"

"I know... It's where I got the recipe." Bella sighed, touching Seth's hand with a thoughtful gaze. "First time I ever made a pie of my own from scratch."

Seth took a huge bite, his eyes lighting up when he glanced back to Bella. "This is awesome! Just as good as moms used to be. She'd be happy her recipes were still put to good use."

I watched Bella's face soften, her eyes becoming misty from his compliment. Truth was, she had been more than just a little bit emotional these last few days and I knew it was all part of the pregnancy. The smallest of things would make her cry.

"Thanks, Seth."

We offered to help with clean up in the kitchen, considering Bella had done all the cooking that day. I kissed her softly on the forehead and asked her to sit down for a while in the living room.

"I don't mind cleaning this up-" She insisted.

"You've been on your feet for hours, honey. Please... sit... for me?"

I gave her a look of genuine concern and saw her resolve then melt on the matter.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

Seth had loaded the many dishes into the sink, his eyes wide with alarm at the growing mound of them.

"You know that's one thing my mother always hated ... cleaning up like this." He chuckled. "She would always hate how she'd spend all that time cooking, and then we'd only eat for twenty minutes and the mess was enormous."

"I remember my mom saying the exact same thing." I admitted, grabbing the first dish to scrub and handing it off to him for rinsing.

"I wish I had known her better, Jacob."

My chest tightened at his words as a clear picture of my mothers face came before me.

"Yeah... me too, Seth. We were all so little."

I saw his face fall as he reached for the towel beside me. "Sucks..."

"Yeah, it does." I agreed, meeting his reflective gaze. "Your mom was proud of you, Seth."

He went silent then, his hands coming to shake around the dish he held.

"You know that... Don't you?"

"I know she had high hopes for me." He sighed. "But ... I'm not so sure she'd be so happy with me now."

"I am." I replied, handing him the remaining silverwear so he could rinse them all.

"You sound so damn sure, Jake. How can you be?"

I paused at his question, pondering over the many doubts I had for myself... since Rachel. I often wondered if my mother looked down on me with shame now.

Seth took notice of my silence and set the towel down on the counter, his eyes coming to meet mine with remorse.

"I didn't mean to... to question you... or-"

"It's not that." I admitted. "I wish I had more answers for you, Seth. But I do know without a shadow of a doubt that your mother will always be proud of you. You're just gonna have to trust me on that."

"She was when she left this earth... but I sometimes think like anything else...that can change."

"No.. it can't." I replied, my gaze wandering to Bella, as she went to the fridge in search for a drink. My eyes lingered on her Belly and my ears immediately tuned in to the sound that filled my soul with unconditional love. "There's no way it can ever change, Seth. Some day... one day... when you find that right person and you commit to them wholeheartedly... make a life of your own with them... start a family... you'll feel it, too. You'll know exactly what I mean. Love like that... is never changing. It's a fixed point, bro."

He grew silent, taking notice of how watchful I was of Bella... how I carefully watched her steps... being sure she didn't trip until she was safely back on the couch.

"It's... really something, isn't it?" He asked, closing the last cupboard.

"What's that?"

"How you are with her... how the two of you just... mold together... I see it in Sam and Emily, too."

Something in his tone had me raising my head to him. There was a regretful way he said it and it caught my attention almost instantly.

"That will happen for you, Seth... you're still young, bro. Embrace that. It'll come to you in good time."

"Maybe..."

I wiped down the counters, tossing the dish cloth into the sink and gesturing for him to come with me outside... onto the porch. I wanted to get to the bottom of where his head was at right now, and I knew he would close me out if Bella could hear him.

He reluctantly followed me out onto the porch, his eyes looking everywhere to avoid my own.

"Is there... something else ... going on with you?" I asked, picking up on how very uncomfortable he was right now and trying to tread as lightly as I could. "Cause if there is... you know you can tell me, right? I'm your Alpha yes... but I'm your friend and brother, first."

He scuffed his feet on the wood below, nervously shoving his hands into his pockets as he continued to avoid my gaze.

"Seth..." I hedged, taking hold of him by the shoulder and forcing him to make eye contact with me. "What is it."

"... I- I can't tell you-"

"Can't or won't?"

"... Both..." He admitted.

I dropped my hand, seeing him shrug away as an uneasy silence creeped over us.

My mind began to try and pry this out through memory alone, but it provided me with no real clue. Everything that had happened with Rachel had submerged me into a haze for weeks and I sadly couldn't recall much about Seth's particular change in demeanor until recently.

"I'm not here to... place judgement on you... or push you into telling me something you don't want to, Seth. But... I know there's something eating at you... and if you don't talk to someone about this... whatever it is... it will get worse... trust me ... I know."

"...I-I've talked to... Leah... She knows what's bothering me... now. She's the only one I've opened up to."

I nodded, glancing out toward the forest as he turned further away from me, the sight of his distance causing me to sigh heavily, while I studied how very nervous he was. Everything about him screamed immense fear to me right now and it ate me up to know I couldn't help him with whatever the hell was going on.

"Okay... she's your sister and she has your best interest at heart. Talking to her was-"

"Stupid." He regretfully added. "I should've kept it to myself."

"Wh-" I began, trying to understand.

"Cause now he'll know... Paul.. and that's the last damn thing I need."

"Leah will keep Paul in line... trust me, Seth. There's no worry there." I chuckled, seeing him give me half a fake smile in return.

"Pack mind... remember? It was hard enough to tell Leah in the first place, and even harder on her to keep her thoughts to herself about it ... and now... with Paul... it will be impossible to keep it hidden anymore." He sighed, as he sunk down on the step below me, his hands trembling and his tone shaky on the last word.

My mind began to wander, while I sat down next to him, still trying to make sense of what he was struggling with ... without pushing him into telling me.

"What happens when you hate being yourself?" He suddenly asked me, his eyes brimming with the emotion he tried to keep from me. "When you feel... like an outsider in your own skin..."

"Seth... What-" I began, putting a firm hand on his shoulder.

"I have to tell you, cause I know you'll find out soon enough. As close as our dad's were before he passed, I'm surprised Billy never mentioned something to you by now. Land knows my dad hated the very idea-"

I dug further into my memory upon hearing this, seeing his eyes meet mine with fear and expectation... like I would suddenly remember something Harry had said to Billy in one of their many conversations years ago. I tried and tried, but ultimately, came up empty.

"You're dad was proud of you... that much I do remember... he was proud of the young man you were becoming-"

"You mean he was proud of the man he wanted me to be... instead of who I really am-" He interjected, his voice cracking, as he angrily shook his head.

I stared back at him, feeling at a complete loss for words as he began to spill his truth to me.

"You wanna know why I was so much closer to my mom than I ever was to my dad? Why he came over to your house late at night... unexpectedly and usually with a drink or two in his hand? You wanna know why I clung so hard to my mom... why she was never far from me... or why losing her felt like I lost so much of myself when she died?... I'll tell you... it- it's ... because... I'm not who you think I am, Jake. I'm not what the pack assumes me to be. I've always been known as the silent one... or the reserved one... there's a reason for that... I don't open myself up like the rest of you do because if I did... you'd all see me for the fake I really am."

He had me baffled, to the point of desperation as I rose up from the step, looking him square in the eye as he stood with me.

"Seth- What-."

"I don't belong in your pack, Jacob... I don't really belong anywhere..." He sighed, a single tear rolling down his cheek. His tears, soon bringing forth the kind of crying that made your own insides hurt just to witness it.

I swallowed hard as he drew in a shaky breath and stepped further away from me, like he were ready to run.

"You will always belong in this pack!" I asserted, seeing his whole form begin to shake before me.

"No!" He yelled, his anger evident in his tone. "I don't! Don't you get it!? I'm not like the rest of you! I...I'm screwed up! Really screwed up, Jake!"

I took hold of him by the shoulders, as he fought to get away from me... to run off and be alone.

"Seth!" I yelled back, as he soon tore free from my grasp. "Stop!"

"No! I can't do this anymore... live a lie like this! It's killing me... every day I feel it take a little more from me... and now... there's nothing left. I have nothing more to give, Jacob. I've tried to change... Dad tried to make me different... To make me see sense, but I... I-" He cried.

I went forward, instinctually wanting to help one of my own and feeling helpless as he pushed me further away.

"I don't care what you tell me right now... You're part of us... hear me?" I firmly stated, as he let out a sob that damn near choked me to hear come from him.

"You won't see it that way anymore, Jacob... once I tell you the truth-"

"Whatever it is ... tell me, Seth." I replied, watching the fear flicker across his face now.

He shook his head, like he were fighting with himself... like he were warring between right and wrong in this moment.

"I'll accept it... no matter what it is... Seth... I promise you."

He slowly raised his head then, meeting my gaze, his eyes red and his tone so small ... as small as I'd ever heard him speak. His words came out in strangled fashion, like someone were pulling the truth forcefully from him.

"I'm... Gay."

I heard the words... heard them clearly spoken from him... but I couldn't force myself to_ believe_ them. I opened my mouth to try to say something to him... anything... but I was unable to offer him the reassuring words he needed. I was shocked into silence as he looked at me, his tears falling while he abruptly turned and headed for the forest.

I forced myself to move, running to him and cutting him of before he could phase and bolt through the forest.

Running was not the answer...

"Seth... wait!" I yelled, seeing him visibly wince when I grabbed his arm, like he were now afraid of me... afraid of my reaction to all this.

I didn't have the right words for him... Though I wanted to ... I didn't possesses the right words his mother would have spoken to her boy in this moment... she would have come through in a way I could never compare to.

He looked away from me as I stood in front of him, my mind filling with Sue and how broken she would be for her son if she could see his anguish now.

I did the only thing I could think of in the moment... I pulled him into a firm hug and reminded him of what he meant to us... as a whole pack.

"You're still you, Seth. You're still_ my brother_ and a valued member of my pack." I offered, knowing Sue would have said something much more comforting, but in the moment, this was the best I could do. For it was the truth. It didn't matter to me who he loved... man or woman... this was still the kid who I saw as a younger sibling... who I watched grow up into the admirable young man he was today and I would never see him any differently. More than anything else... I wanted him to know that.


	120. Chapter 122

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of The Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/ characters belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: Hello to you all! I am spoiling you once again with another update this week. Like I said, serious inspiration has hit me lately :-) I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday with your friends and Family. We did :-) I wish you all a wonderful rest of the weekend and as I always say... thank you for your support and please feel free to review! I love hearing from all of you! HAPPY READING! xoxo**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - TWO**

**(JPOV)**

It was several minutes before Seth stopped crying. His torment pouring out like a dam that had broke. He was suffocating in his own skin and it struck me hard to hear how tormented he had been over this.

Sue had known... She had to of ...

It all made sense to me now. Why he had been so much closer to her than Harry before... Why he never showed up to one of Sam's many gatherings with a girl on his arm. I had always blindly chalked it up to him just being young... and nervous... but this... the possibility of him being gay... I was ashamed to say that it had never even crossed my mind until now.

I was his leader for shits sake ...

How the hell could I have missed this?

"Please don't tell-" Seth pleaded.

"I won't." I swore to him, feeling him release the hold he had on me and observe me with a wary gaze.

"Not even Bella... Jake... Please."

I stiffened at this, glancing over my shoulder to the house. I hated keeping things from her. It was never right to do so and it separated us.

"Seth... Bella loves you... and she would always accept you for who you are... alright?"

"No..." He forced out, looking at me with a truly terrified expression. "You can't tell her. The more people who know - The more it will spread and the more rejected I'll become... don't you get it.? I c-can't handle that right now... I j-just can't!"

I felt my insides crawl as I thought of the pack... How they could react to this...

Some of them were known to have no censor, and could stand a lesson or two in common decency and respect. Maybe it would be a lesson I'd have to teach them myself in light of this.

"You've kept this to yourself... all this time?" I asked, stepping closer to him and observing how he flinched at just the sudden movement from me.

"Yes. All except Leah... and mom-" He choked out in reply.

I watched him shake his head in frustration, as he caught sight of Bella's shadow in the window.

He thought she would see him differently... He feared that I would see him differently now, too.

"Hey..." I asserted, firmly grasping his shoulder. "None of this changes who you are to me... got it? This doesn't change what I think of you!"

"It will... eventually."

"You're wrong."

He looked up at me with such shame then that it made my chest tight.

"You and I both know I can't keep this up forever... hiding my thoughts from the others. It's t-too hard, Jacob. I'm so tired of trying to always keep my thoughts in line... when I'm with the pack... I have to... I know the consequences if I don't-"

"There are no consequences. You're who you are. That doesn't change our care or loyalty to you, Seth. Nothing ever could." I replied, gesturing for him to sit down with me on the porch again. "Tell me what you need from us... from me."

He looked lost as he fumbled for the right reply to this, his hands shaking as he glanced my way. "I don't know- ... Mom used to be that person for me, Jake. She was the person I went to with all this... she understood me and defended me... mostly to dad. He hated the idea... used to say that if I was gonna be attracted to men than I should've been born a girl."

I winced at this, seeing the pain flicker across his face while he continued to speak. "You know... there were times... I thought... maybe life would be better if I went away- If I just left-"

"No." I stated to him, throwing a tight arm around his shoulders. "You're not leaving-"

"It would make things easier-"

"Seth-" I countered.

"It's true... you don't know how many times I wished to be different, Jacob. More like you... more normal."

I gritted my teeth together, as I thought of all the times he'd needed someone to talk to and I hadn't been there... I'd let him down the most... out of them all.

"We're gonna figure this out, Seth. I promise you."

"Their gonna find out, Jake." He replied, his tone shaky and so fearful, as his tears began to fall again. "...and w-when they do... things will get much worse for me."

"Not if I have anything to do with it."

"You can't protect me from this... you can't stop peoples comments or hate."

Regret plagued me as I realized just how damn right he was about this... I couldn't stop some people's arrogance.

"No... you're right, Seth. I can't... but I can control it when you're near... and if they know what's good for em'... they'll keep whatever wise cracks they have to themselves." I stated, feeling the heat run up my spine from just the thought of some jackass running his face to Seth... someone trying to belittle him for who he was.

They'd be picking their fucking teeth up from the pavement... I knew this for certain.

"Thanks..." Seth meekly replied.

"You're welcome."

"I - I can't make you not tell Bella. I know you don't like keeping things from her. I understand that-"

"You're right... I don't." I admitted.

"... but please... if you do tell her... can you ask her not to say anything to anyone else? I'd rather not have the whole reservation knowing about it."

"What you tell me... stays between us... and if I choose to tell Bella... she will be the only person I tell, Seth. You have my word."

I saw him nod as he looked away from me, his eyes full of a sadness that made my own insides hurt for him.

He was one of my own... I wanted to fix him... though I knew I couldn't... there was no fixing this. My mind began to wander as we sat there in silence, pondering the possibility of Billy knowing.

"Your dad... treated mine like family, Seth... and Billy never-"

"He didn't tell you because my father loathed the very idea... and even though he's been gone for a while now... I can still hear him on the phone with Billy... yelling and arguing about what to do with me."

This stunned me into silence while he told me more...

"My dad thought that if he sent me away somewhere... to a treatment facility ... that they could somehow fix me. Like I was something damaged or broken. Your dad got wind of this and confronted my father. He told him those places were dangerous and damaging, and that sending me there would only hurt me worse. Billy defended me, Jacob... I've always owed him for that, but it made things tense between him and my father before he passed. Something I regret almost every day... something else that's my fault. I'm afraid of who I am, Jake. I don't know how not to be."

I was reeling from this as he looked up at me with remorse.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Seth. You can't... apologize for who you are and how you feel." I clarified to him. "But I do wish Billy had told me... or that you would have felt comfortable enough to confide in me. Carrying this by yourself... must have been hell on you. Why didn't you come to me sooner? I would've helped you... somehow."

"Keeping this to myself has been really hard for me, but ... when I was little... I used to want to be you, Jake. It's no secret how I looked up to you and I tried to get up the guts to tell you a few times, but when it came right down to it, I just couldn't. I was afraid-"

"Of me?" I replied, locking eyes with him and hoping this wasn't the case.

"No... not of you... but of what you'd think of me. I'm different... and not... like the others in the pack now... so what value am I to you?"

I felt my eyes sting with emotion as he confessed this to me... for him to think he had such little value to me.

He felt utterly worthless and it broke me for him.

"You really think that I hold so little for you?"

His eyes grew wide when he heard the rasp in my voice.

"... I guess, I just know how much the pack means to you and -"

"You mean something to me, Seth... individually... even if you weren't in the pack. That wouldn't change my loyalty to you."

He nodded and looked down at the ground, his tone becoming hollow now.

"I don't fit... anywhere, Jacob. I don't know what to do with myself anymore."

I tightened my arm around his shoulders and glanced back to our front door.

Bella would cry for him if she knew how lost he felt.

"Stay here? With us, Seth? Just for a while?" I offered, seeing him look up at me in disbelief.

"What... you have enough going on-" He protested.

"Doesn't matter. You're one of my own... no matter what and you need somewhere to be right now. Somewhere different and accepting while you deal with all this... while_ we_ deal with all this... together. Please stay with us?"

"I shouldn't-"

"Please?" I asked again, meeting his gaze and seeing the hesitancy there.

"If... you're sure?"

"I am sure." I countered, seeing the twitch of a small grin touch his face.

"Okay."

I let out a sigh of relief and stood, gesturing for him to come back inside with me.

"You're not alone... I need you to know that, Seth."

He nodded and moved in closer before I opened the door.

"Does this mean you're gonna tell Bella?"

"It means... I'm always here for you, and with you staying here... yes... I am gonna tell her... but I can swear to you right now that she's not gonna say a word to anyone else. Bella is always respectful and thoughtful of others. Trust me on this?"

"Okay... I trust you." He reluctantly replied in a low tone, his feet barely moving to cross over the threshold, as we entered the house again.

I checked on Bella, seeing her fast asleep on the couch with a book in her hand. I slowly took it from her grasp and placed a kiss on her forehead, as she nestled herself further into the blankets.

"She looks exhausted." Seth noted, lingering by the fireplace. "Is that normal?"

"... Very." I replied, moving a tendril of hair away from her face.

"Are you scared?" Seth timidly asked.

"... If I'm being honest... yes." I sighed in reply. "The two of them are the reason I exist... and with them being wrapped up in one right now... yeah... that tends to be a little scary."

"Doctor's say she's okay though, right... progressing the way she should be?"

"Yes... no reason for concern, other than any unforeseen complications that could arise during delivery, which I'm praying none occur."

"She's strong, Jake. She'll be awesome." He offered in assurance to me.

"She is strong." I agreed, tucking the blankets further in around her.

"Mom would have loved to see this... you know she'd be knitting up a storm." He softly laughed, as we stepped out into the kitchen.

"She would have ..."

"Thanks for offering me a place to stay with you."

"You're welcome to be here as long as you need, Seth."

"Will Bella be okay with it?" He hesitantly asked.

"Absolutely." I assured him. "You can stay in the nursery for now... we have an air mattress... if you're comfortable there."

"Should be."

I pulled out the air mattress and set it up for him, showing him where the clean towels were should he want a shower. I was just laying out a set of clean sheets for him when he asked me something that stopped me where I stood.

"Jake... Is there something wrong with me?"

I tossed the sheets onto the air mattress and met his gaze, as he nervously awaited my answer.

I instantly thought of Sue... of how delicately she would have handled all this compared to me...

... I wish she was here now ...

"No, Seth." I replied, coming to stand next to him. "There's nothing wrong with you."

He shrugged, looking helpless and defeated, as he walked out to sit with me at the table. His eyes downcast when I offered him another beer. He took it and tore off the cap while he sat in silence and reflection. I couldn't help but notice how truly hurt all this had left him, and for the tenth fucking time, I kicked myself for not being there for him until now.

"... Dad... used to say... I needed to be fixed. Like... maybe if the council knew about me... they'd help me? The same way they helped Paul?"

I shook my head to him, setting my gaze on his with a sigh of uncertainty, forcing myself to ask him the one question that had been lingering heavily in the back of my mind since the moment he told me the truth. I tore the cap off the cold beer in my hand, taking a solid swig before speaking.

"Seth... I know this is ... none of my business... and you don't have to tell me anything, but..."

I paused, seeing the ample apprehension on his face, while he clutched the beer I had placed in his hands, like he knew what my question was before I had even voiced it.

"... it's ok... ask me."

I swallowed hard and forced it out before I lost my damn nerve... it wasn't from the fear of it... more from the anger I knew would hit me if his answer turned out to be a confirmation to my suspicion.

"... Did someone hurt you?... Touch you?"

I saw him visibly flinch and close his eyes in response. My free hand coming to ball into a tight fist, while I anxiously waited for him to say something. The silence seemed to go on forever before he drew in a shaky breath and looked my way.

"... No, Jacob... I am ... just the way I am... There's no reason ..."

"Okay." I replied, touching his arm. "I asked you because I'd want to know if someone had hurt you like that, Seth. I'm sorry I asked... if it made you uncomfortable."

"Don't be... It's the very same question my mom asked me at first. She was furious at the thought that someone could have - but no one ever did. I think if they had, this would have been more acceptable to my parents, you know? I think my father would have finally had someone to blame. I've asked myself why... a million times... asked myself why I was born like this. But I have no answer."

"Do you need to have one?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"... Because I hate being me. I wanna be normal, Jake."

"You are normal!" I firmly stated. "You are still Seth Clearwater and it's okay to be you.. no matter who that is."

"It's not supposed to be this way!" He replied, his tone becoming more desperate. "I look at you and Bella and it seems so natural for you... so normal for you to want her... to love her... desire her... the two of you fit together like... missing puzzle pieces or something. You always have. Why isn't it like that for me?"

I picked my brain apart trying to find a good answer for him... but the truth was... nothing I could offer him now seemed to be a suitable answer for this.

He was desperately searching for an answer I wasn't so sure anyone had.

"Seth I - I wish there was something more I could say to-"

"I know... but nothing is the right answer."

"Have you thought about talking to someone... a professional?"

I scoffed the moment I said it... What kind of shrink wouldn't want to have him committed if he told them everything.

"Nobody understands."

"Well... I'm listening to you. You're gonna be alright. With time... lots of time... and understanding. I know if your mom were here, she'd offer you something much more profound... but this is the best I can give you right now, Seth ... and I hope it's enough."

"... It is... "

"Good..."

"I just wish you could help me understand why I even phased in the first damn place if I'm gonna be like this. I can't even imprint the way everyone else does... The whole point of that bond is to help ensure future wolves. How the hell does someone like me fit into that? Or worse... if I do imprint... I'd ruin someone, Jacob. I'd never be able to love her the way I'm supposed to. The way you love Bella... or Sam loves Emily... or even how Paul is now forever tied to my sister."

He ran his hands over his face with a sigh of exasperation, as he sunk further down into his chair.

"I know things seem like a damn mess right now... but it will come together for you, Seth. You gotta trust me here..."

"I try to ignore it... you know... I have for a long time... but it's hell to try to control your thoughts like that, Jake. I feel like I'm being pulled apart from the inside out. I can't do that anymore... it's a constant struggle. Given what we are... it makes it even harder for me. You know as well as I do this won't be accepted very well-"

"Yes it will. No one in this pack will be cruel to you, Seth... Or they'll be in some deep shit... with me." I assured him.

"I'm sorry to pull you into all this."

"No worries..." I replied, noticing his beer bottle now empty. "I'm cutting you off at that last one, bro. We run patrol in an hour."

"I get it." He sorrowfully replied.

"I can have someone cover you... if you need some time to yourself tonight."

"Really?"

"Yeah... let me take care of it... stay here and get some sleep, Seth." I offered, getting to my feet and heading for the front door.

"That's... really nice of you, Jake."

"You've been through a lot today. Take tonight for you. I'll be back before dawn. If anything comes up with Bella-"

"You'll be the first person I get ahold of."

I nodded, seeing him head for his mattress laying on the nursery floor, and watching him close the door before I switched off the lights and left.

I headed for Sam's, knowing he'd still be awake and needing to address him alone about the situation with Paul and Leah. I didn't want him getting wind of it from anyone or anywhere else. He needed to hear if from me first.

This would hit him hard. He had loved Leah very much at one time and to have Paul imprint on her would cause definite tension with them... I was certain.

He wouldn't be able to overlook this... unfortunately... it would be in his face all the time... everywhere he turned... it came with the territory which made me wonder if he could deal with it at all. He had found his rightful place back with us and now it seemed it would only cause him turmoil to remain here. I cringed as I thought of the mind link, knowing how infuriating it would be to Sam to have to bare witness to what took place between them... the physical aspect alone would submerge him in a world of regret and mental anguish. I couldn't shield him from this... or I would. Sam never meant to hurt Leah like he had and I knew first hand how much he hated himself for it still.

Paul had needed this... desperately. After what happened with the loss of my sister... after what had been taken from him... he needed some semblance of happiness and this was clearly it for him. I was confident that with time, Leah would come to love Paul and that they would share something eternal... something unexpected... but great nonetheless. Leah had been torn apart after Sam had gone to Emily... after he had followed the imprint... she was still hurting in a lot of ways from that and deep down I knew that Paul was the right person to mend her... to put her back together. I could sense it in my soul. He was the kind of partner she needed. The kind of man who would see her faults and accept them anyway, knowing damn well he had his own. The two of them couldn't have been more opposite in a lot of ways, but the kind of fire Leah was, paired with the kind of strength Paul had, would be a force all on it's own. If all went as I hoped it would... I had every bit of confidence that they would be fierce together.


	121. Chapter 123

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you for your awesome reviews! I have loved reading each of them :-) I hope you enjoy this chapter. I will admit, it was difficult for me to write. ... a tough one but needed. I look forward to hearing your reviews and I thank you for your continued support of this story! HAPPY READING! xoxo**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - THREE**

**(JPOV)**

I approached Sam's back yard with a huff as I lingered by the tree line, glancing off toward his home and seeing it lit up. Emily was by the kitchen window, setting the table for dinner when she looked out my way. Her smile as genuine as it ever was when she saw me. She immediately came outside, gesturing for me to phase and come in to join them.

I nodded her way and hung my head as Sam joined her.

I was dreading this.

Sam looked my way in concern and ushered Emily back inside, telling her he'd be back in to eat shortly. He jumped down off the step and headed my way, as I phased back to human form and pulled on my worn out jeans.

"What brings you by tonight, bud?" He asked, reaching out to firmly shake my hand.

I returned the sentiment and found myself stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts, given everything that had just taken place... with Seth... with Leah and Paul.

"I need to speak with you." I forced out, seeing his eyes narrow when he heard the dread in my tone.

"What's wrong, Jacob? Is it Bella? Is she alright?"

I flinched at the sound of evident concern in his voice, as he stepped closer to me.

"No... She's perfectly fine." I replied. "I didn't mean to ... just... show up... or alarm you. I gave you time off from pack duty for a reason. So you could have more time with Levi and Em... I'm sorry, I should have called you first."

"Nonsense!" He chuckled. "Come on in. Emily made enough for an army... like she always does... be great for you to join us. If you're hungry?"

He headed for the house and I found myself hastily losing my nerve by the time he had reached the bottom step to his porch.

"Wait... Sam-"

He halted at this, turning to look at me with a nervous expression. I'm sure it was evident by the look on my face that this wasn't a typical drop in visit. I walked closer to him, anxiously balling my hands into tight fists, as I forced myself to speak again.

I knew what this would do to him and I feared greatly that he would choose not to return to us because of it.

"I came over to ... address something... with you. I wanted you to hear it from me first, Sam. Not from pack rumor... or in town... You know how fast word spreads around these small parts."

He nodded to me, crossing his arms over his chest with a confused expression plaguing his features.

"Go on..."

"First... I want you to know how grateful I am to you. For all that you did in my absence, Sam. The pack wouldn't be together without your aid and leadership... so thank you. Second... before... I say this... I need you to promise me that you'll try and see the good from it... even if it's really fucking hard to do in the moment... I need you to keep your head about you and not detach yourself from us..."

His eyes narrowed further as he stepped up to me, ushering us away from the house now. The seriousness of my tone, no doubt plainly evident to him.

"What is this about-"

"It's about Leah."

He uncrossed his arms, his face returning to the same haunted expression it always did whenever someone mentioned her to him. He sighed heavily and shook his head, as he cautiously glanced back toward the house... where Emily was.

"You have my attention, Jacob. What's wrong with her- is- is she... Alright? Has she been hurt?" He nervously asked.

"She is fine, Sam... Actually... in my opinion... She's more than fine." I truthfully replied.

He eyed me warily, like he was bracing himself for something unknown. An invisible impact no one would see... but he himself would certainly feel.

"Are you here to tell me what I think you're here to tell me? Did she imprint on someone?"

"The exact opposite." I clarified, watching him closely. "Someone imprinted on her... it was unexpected."

He went mute at this. His eyes looking vacant when he sat down on one of the many large rocks that bordered his back yard.

"Who...?"

I clenched my fists together once more as I bit my tongue, unwilling to hurt him with my reply.

"Just tell me who, Jacob." He soon demanded, raising his head to meet my gaze.

"Paul."

Sam stood abruptly, drawing close to me as he let out a disbelieving breath. "What?!"

I looked him in the eyes, seeing his resolve slip as he turned from me, running his hands over his face.

"No... No way." He fumed. "Not him! Of all the damn people!"

"Sam." I cautioned, taking him by the arm and forcing him to look at me. "It's not what you think, man. I've been with them... right after it occurred. The two of them had something... before... the imprint took affect. There was something there."

He scoffed, angrily pulling away from my grasp. "Yeah, I bet there was! You and I both know what he is... how he does things with the women around here! One night stands and then it's onto the next thing with longer legs!"

"That was before, Sam-" I defended, feeling my own temper start to flare.

"Before! Before what, Jacob? Before Rachel, right?"

He paused immediately, drawing in a shaky breath and looking away from me in apparent shame.

"Shit, Jake... I- I'm sorry I said that- It was thoughtless of me. I didn't mean-"

"I know exactly what you meant, Sam." I retorted, shaking my head in anger. "You know... I hated coming here to tell you this, cause I knew how much fucking tension it would cause. But the two of you are brothers... part of my pack... a family... and you're gonna have to somehow... work through this. I understand how uncomfortable it can be-"

"Uncomfortable!?... Jake... I can't hear... _or see_... what they are together-" He spat my way, visibly cringing while he spoke. "Paul isn't exactly the most courteous one when it comes to not sharing his most memorable sexual escapades. We've all had to bare witness to it far more than once, and now... what? I have to try to block out that it's - It's... with Leah?"

"I know Paul has a past, alright!? I get it. But you're not being fair here, Sam."

He whipped his head my way, inching himself closer to me, and taking an angry stance before me.

"Fair?" He sarcastically scoffed. "How the hell am I not being fair-"

"You chose!" I yelled, pointing toward the house where Emily was. "You made a decision to obey the imprint! You knew what would happen and I get it, man. Trust me... I do! You can't ignore a pull like that and you've built something awesome with the woman inside that house. Emily has loved you and helped you every step of the way, Sam. You can't really expect Leah to grieve over you the rest of her days and never get some form of happiness for herself."

I saw him step away from me then, his arms crossing over his chest again as he avoided my gaze. His jaw flexing in an attempt to swallow whatever emotion he tried not to show while I continued.

"It's no damn secret that she loved you, Sam. It's no secret that she would have loved you for a long time... we all know what the two of you had before... what you shared together... but that was then and this is now. You can't keep holding onto her like this! It's not healthy! For either of you! I know a small part of you still cares for her way more than you should and that you carry a lot of guilt over how things ended between the two of you-"

"...I left her, Jacob. Made her feel... unworthy-" He harshly retorted, clearing his throat as he met my stare. "I hurt her... bad... and I never meant to. I would have never hurt her like that willingly."

"I know that, Sam... and believe it or not... after all this time... Leah knows it, too. She accepts what you've built with Emily and she cares for the two of you and Levi as a whole unit now. I've seen into her thoughts many times before... so I know. Leah's still ... broken over what happened with the two of you... in a lot of ways. Hurt like that doesn't just disappear with time... sometimes... time itself can make it even worse..."

"I would never want her to be alone... I've wanted her to find someone... to move on for a while now... but Paul! Fucking Paul!?" He angrily exclaimed, tossing his hands up in the air with a huff.

"Yes... Paul..." I confirmed.

"Jacob... tell me... you can't really think that he's-"

".. Good for her..." I interjected, seeing him look down to the ground with clear regret.

"He isn't ... he fucking can't be..." He argued.

"You're wrong, Sam... With all due respect... You're judging him based on the past. Paul isn't like that anymore. A lot has changed with him. I've seen it myself. He's matured and stepped up in a lot of ways recently. He and Bella have developed a closeness ... a bond... and she see's the good in him now, too. I get that you're worried about her-"

"I am."

"You shouldn't be. You yourself know the powerful bond of an imprint, Sam. The devout loyalty of it. Like it or not, you can't deny or dispute this. He will love her, and take care of her the very same way you have with Emily and I have with Bella. She is his future, Sam. After what happened with my sister-" I paused, swallowing hard, as Rachel's face came fresh to my mind. "He needs this... He needs _her_... and I know you hate to hear this... but I believe she needs _him_ just as much. I believe Paul has what it takes to help her... to help heal that hurt. The two of them could grow to have something great. Don't you want that for her? So she can be happy?"

"... of course I do..." He hoarsely replied. "She deserves that."

"Then let this be what it is, Sam. Take the time you need to accept it, and let the imprint do what it's meant to. Don't interfere or begrudge them that."

"... is that an order?" He asked, looking me in the eyes. His gaze pleading with me, as if he needed me to confirm this for him. As if ordering him to do so would somehow make this more tolerable for him.

If that was the case... I couldn't deny him that...

I squared my shoulders and took a stride toward him, bringing us mere inches apart. "Yes, Sam. That is an absolute order."

"Okay... What choice do I have then?" He replied, reaching for my hand. "I will do as you instruct."

I heard the bitter relief in his voice then, letting me know that he had indeed needed such an order from me.

Maybe it proved to ease the sting of this for him somehow... maybe him seeing this as more duty than personal was helping him to try and accept it.

"I want you with us still, Sam. Don't let this isolate you from us... please, bro."

"I will do my best, Jacob. That's all I can give you for now. I won't lie, being privy to their most intimate thoughts isn't something I'm looking forward to. Not in the damn least."

"Paul has more class than you're giving him credit for. With all he's been through, it has taught him a great lesson in humility. Give him a chance before having tension or words with him. He just may surprise you."

"... and if it goes the way I fear?"

"... I'll have a talk with him... you have my word."

"Does Seth know?" He suddenly asked, releasing the grip he had on my hand.

"...Yes." I sighed.

"I take it he's not thrilled about it either."

"He isn't. This is something everyone will need some time to adjust to. But above all else, Leah and Paul deserve our respect and patience with them."

"Thank you for telling me."

"I owed you at least that much, Sam." I replied, turning away from him and heading further into the woods.

"See you soon, Brother." He called out after me, as I waved and ducked between the cover of two large trees, before phasing back to land on all fours.

It was beginning to rain when I met Embry for patrol. He had agreed to fill in for Seth and when he asked me why the schedule had abruptly changed, I lied and told him Seth was sick with the flu. I had given Seth my word and I would not break it. His secret was safe with me.

We ran the border twice, watching for any signs of new trails until the sun came up. It was then that we met Quil and Collin to trade shifts and I headed back for home. I chose to walk most of it on two legs, using the silence and desolate company of the forest to help clear my mind.

What Seth was dealing with was no small matter. He was hurting in a way that I was desperate to fix and fresh out of ideas on how to.

Had Sue been here... she would have known exactly what to do.

I hadn't seen it coming and felt even more like a complete fucking tool for being so damn oblivious to it this whole time.

Were there more warning signs I had missed?

Was he lying about not being hurt? Had someone touched him against his will and made him so confused?

Fierce heat coursed through me at just the thought.

I had a million and one thoughts pouring into my head, as I sauntered up the steps of my house, my eyes heavy from the lack of sleep and my limbs burning from the long hike home. The sound of a car pulling up made me pause by the door, seeing a red suburban now creeping to a stop by my house. I glared at the two young men who came staggering out of the front seat, hauling an equally intoxicated Seth along with them.

I went to them, noticing their eyes bulge when they assessed my size as I grabbed hold of Seth.

"You must be Jack Black... right?"

"Jake... Jacob Black." I corrected them, placing a firm arm under Seth for support, who was having all he could do to stand upright.

"Seth here needed a ride home from the tavern and he told us where you lived on the Res... said he was staying with you."

"He is." I clarified.

"Great... We may have had a few too many- but he was buyin' so-"

"You pricks know I could place a call and have you both arrested for supplying alcohol to a minor, right?" I angrily threatened, watching them all but jump back in their vehicle.

"Hey man... we didn't know he was a minor! We swear! Won't happen again." They yelled, before hitting the gas and leaving.

I was fuming by the time I got Seth securely in the house. He looked miserable as he stumbled into the living room, his face paling as he tried speak to me.

"I ... only had ... a few... Jake."

"Yeah, a few too many by the looks of it, Seth." I sighed, helping him take off his boots, and redirecting him to the kitchen table, where I sat him down, so he wouldn't wake Bella.

"No..." He argued. "I had only a ... c- couple - few... d- drinks."

His words were slurred past the point of clear understanding, as I poured him a glass of water and retrieved three aspirin for him.

He took the glass of water and placed his head in his hands. His hands trembling while he reached for the aspirin.

"Seth... I gave you the night off so you could... clear your head-"

"Clear my... head?" He repeated back to me with a snicker.

I dismissed his tone, knowing how drunk he was and trying to handle his situation with care.

"Listen Seth-"

"No!" He yelled, abruptly getting to his feet and staggering forward. I caught him by the shoulders before he could fall, feeling him struggle against my aid. "Let -go- of me!"

I released him, seeing his eyes well up and his face become flush with his anger, as he bolted for the kitchen. I felt the panic spread through me when he suddenly took hold of a carving knife, pressing the blade to his wrist.

"Seth-" I yelled, reaching for the knife and taking it away from him. I heaved it into the sink, watching him closely, as the adrenaline surged through my veins.

"I don't need your damn help!" He shouted to me, his irate tone echoing through the house. "I need... I need -"

He shook his head in frustration, as he tried to speak again. The pained look on his face reminding me of when he was just a small boy.

"I need-"

"What, Seth. What do you need?" I asked, slowly approaching him and seeing his gaze roam my face in search for an answer I did not have... in search for an answer I wish I had.

"... to be different!" He finally yelled.

"No, you don't!" I replied, taking hold of him by the shoulders, even though he fought me. He soon broke free from my grasp and threw his fist into the wall, the force of the hit, splitting his knuckles wide open. Blood ran down his hand and dripped onto the floor below as he screamed. The pain in his voice enough to have my throat tight, as I grabbed a towel and took hold of his hand, trying to stop the blood from running, even though I knew it would heal on it's own soon enough.

"I'm never gonna fit ... anywhere... don't you know that?... and the one p-person who accepted m-me is... gone! My mom is ... gone ... I w- want to go with her." He cried, as an anguished sob tore from him. I pulled him to me, holding him in a firm embrace, while he sunk down to the floor. "I'm not meant to be here... I will never belong anywhere... Just leave me alone."

"No..." I replied, wrapping my arms tighter around him. "I'm not leaving you alone, Seth... I know I'm not her... I'm not your mom... and I wish I could bring her back for you.. I really do... but I can't and I'm sorry."

He became overwhelmed with emotion then, his sobs making his body shake in my grasp.

I wanted to take this from him.

Seth was the most giving and kind hearted person I knew... Sue had raised him right and to witness his hurt now was hell for me.

"There's something r-really wrong w- with me! Dad always told me I was wrong for this! H- He was right! No one will ever want me like this... I'm always gonna be alone. The rest of you will have someone to call your own... That will never work for me!"

"That's not true, and you're not wrong for who you are, Seth." I replied. "... and you're not alone... not ever."

"I want the feelings to go away, Jacob! I don't wanna be like this! Make them go away!" He cried into my shoulder, just as Bella wandered in. Her eyes wide with confusion when they met mine. I watched her slowly draw near to us, offering to take the bloody towel from me, as we stayed there on the floor together.

Bella looked as hurt for him as I felt, and even though she didn't know anything about his truth yet, I could see the tears that welled up in her eyes, as her gaze wandered over us.

"I'm sorry." Seth cried. "I shouldn't have c- come h- here-"

"You're where you belong." I replied, still holding onto him. "... and that's where you're staying, Seth... right here."

I was terrified for him... for what I couldn't offer him. As his leader... it was my damn duty to aid my own ... to help them when they needed it, yet I felt utterly useless right now. The one person he needed more than anyone else was his mother... and she wasn't here anymore. Sue had a way about her... a natural nurturing way that she carried with her in everything she did. This was the kind of care that Seth needed right now and it grieved me to know he couldn't have her near.

I knew ... deep down... that I needed more guidance for this... the kind of guidance that came from someone much wiser than myself... but someone who cared just as deeply for Seth as I did. This kind of wisdom could only come from the man who thought of Seth's family like his own... my own father.

Billy had known far more about Seth and the struggle between him and Harry than he had ever let on before and I needed him to talk me through this... to tell me what he knew... all of it. If I was gonna be the kind of person Seth needed to get through this, I needed to humble myself and ask Billy for the right guidance. He was my only hope in handling this the right way... my only hope in grasping a better understanding of Seth now so I could offer him the kind of direction and support he needed.


	122. Chapter 124

**A/N: Hello again! I hope this chapter finds you well this evening and I hope you enjoy! Thank you again for all of the support! Please feel free to review, I love hearing from all of you! xoxo... HAPPY READING!  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - FOUR**

**(JPOV)**

Seth was overcome with exhaustion after his drunken evening. He finally fell asleep in the early hours of dawn. I had been relieved to see him eventually give in to his exhaustion. He had been overwhelmed with everything and it had taken it's heady toll on him. I knew how exhausting it was to bear an emotional burden like that. Something that heavy had a spider web effect... it would always trickle into other areas of your life, no matter how hard you tried to escape it, and leave you emotionally drained. Seth had kept this secret mainly to himself. He had been too afraid to share it with anyone else until now. The best thing for him now was rest.

Bella had been a real sport through it all. She had insisted he stay just as long as he needed and would hear of nothing less. She was deeply concerned for him. Her eyes filling with tears whenever she would steal a glance his way. She had offered him a clean change of clothes, something of mine that was a bit big for him, and he had thanked her for the offer before crashing in the nursery.

I had made sure he was settled and that Bella was okay being alone with him, before I made my way over to Billy's. I had so many questions I needed answered and he had the answers for me.

I only had to knock once, before my father opened the door, his expression going from happy to concerned when he saw the worry on my face.

"Jacob... what brings you by this early, son?"

I stepped inside and sat down at the table, observing him as he poured me a cup of coffee, while my thoughts were pulled back into Seth's grief earlier.

"I'm sorry it's so early."

"Don't be, Jacob. You have me worried is all... Is Bella alright?" He asked, setting the steaming mug of coffee before me.

"It's not that, dad. She's doing well."

He let out a sigh of relief upon hearing this, as he joined me at the table.

"So then ... what has you looking so... concerned?"

"Seth."

Billy's eyes met mine with a knowing look of dread. Like he had known this day would come sooner rather than later.

"Oh..."

"He's a hurting mess right now, dad." I replied, rubbing my eyes from exhaustion while he cleared his throat. "He told... everything. I know."

"He admitted it to you?" Billy replied, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"Yes, he did."

"Oh, Jacob... I-"

"You should've told me, dad. I could have ... done something... helped him."

Billy solemnly shook his head with a clear look of misery in his reflective gaze.

"That's just it. There's nothing you could have done for him-"

"Bullshit- I could have been there."

"Son... this was an ongoing conflict for him and his father... for a long while before Harry passed on. He struggled greatly with the idea of his only son being-"

"... Gay." I finished for him.

"Yes... Harry was raised traditionally. You know he was a loving father, Jacob. But he also wanted the traditional lifestyle for his kids. Outside of the pack... Harry and Sue believed in the imprints pull between a man and a woman. It would never be accepted for-"

"Is that what you think, too!?" I asked abruptly, firmly gripping my mug.

"... No, Jacob... But Harry didn't adapt the way I would have. We're much different that way. You see, it was ... a slap in the face to him... and Seth knew this... he harbored a lot of hurt and bitterness over it."

"How long?" I asked, now plagued by the memory of Seth's anguished cries in my house just hours prior.

"... Since he was a mere child, Jacob... Just nine years old. Harry thought it was just a simple phase at first... always dismissing how Seth would prefer the company of the girls... of Leah and her friends over the guys. It was easy to dismiss at first, but then..."

Billy paused suddenly, his expression pained while he pushed away his coffee with a regretful sigh.

"What?" I hedged.

"Things got much worse."

"How? Tell me."

"Harry came home from a fishing trip when Seth was almost thirteen... to find him in his room with one of his school friends... a boy. They were kissing... and Harry... he lost it, Jacob. Right there in front of the kids... He told Seth's friend to never come back and then proceeded to make Seth swear he would leave him alone... for good... Seth fought against it and the tension between him and Harry only grew to get much worse."

"He tried to force him to be something he isn't?" I replied to him in disbelief.

"Essentially, yes."

I shook my head and remained silent as Billy told me more of the harsh truth.

"Seth was having a hard time with all of it and Harry had done some research ... of his own... he had found out about a place in California... a treatment facility of sorts. It was horrible, Jake. I read up about it myself when Harry had confided in me of his plan for Seth... his plan on how to fix him. When I learned of some of their practices... some of their harsh teachings... I went against it and told Harry not to drag Seth there. It would have broken him, Jacob. This caused a great deal of indifference between Harry and myself, of course. I had no choice but to go to Sue and beg her not to allow this to happen. She saw reason and she put her foot down to Harry. They argued over it... a lot... and in the end... she threatened to leave him for his ignorance about Seth. During this time, Seth and Sue became so close to one another... a mother and broken son bond that remained right up until she was taken from us... I've worried about Seth ever since, but his truth, was not mine to tell, Jacob. I hope you can understand that."

I slowly nodded and leaned back in my chair, my chest growing tight, as I pondered the many ways he had needed a solid source of support and comfort all this time... and how I had failed him.

"He's a great young man-"

"Yes, he is." I agreed.

"But he's got a lot of hurt to carry. With Sue gone now... Leah is all he has. She is good to him... looks after him. But he needs-"

"A leader... " I interjected, meeting my father's wise gaze.

"Yeah..."

"What I don't understand is why Harry would put Seth through that? Those kids meant the world to him."

"It was excruciating for Harry. He told me how much his heart was broken for his boy... how much he wanted him to be different."

"But he isn't, and Harry should have loved him for who he was, dad." I tersely countered.

"Jacob... try not to judge, son. If the roles were reversed here... could you say the same for yourself? Would you be able to just accept your sons fate like that? Knowing the ridicule and hate he would face."

I thought of Bella... of our child still growing in her... and my vision grew blurry with emotion.

"I wouldn't love him any damn less. I would show him the same kind of love and support you would've given me."

"I know you would- But not all see it this way."

"What Harry did has left it's mark on Seth, Dad. I've- never seen him like this. He hates being this way... as if being who he is... in his own skin is ... some kind of punishment for him."

"Where is he now?"

"Staying with Bella and I."

Billy's eyes met mine with devout understanding as his own emotion for Seth began to show.

"You took him in?"

"Absolutely... He needs someone-"

"He needs you, Jacob." Billy clarified. "That kids looked up to you for as long as I can remember... since he was just a tot and with Sue gone... I think he needs someone like you to help him."

I drew in a deep breath, knowing dads words were true, but having my own personal doubts.

"How can I help him? I came over this morning because I knew I needed more guidance... from someone who had Seth's best interest at heart... you're that person, dad.

I noticed the smile on his face as he folded his hands on top of the table, his tone sincere with me now.

"I haven't heard you say that to me since you yourself were just little. With you being all grown now... and with a family of your own... makes me stop and realize just how damn fast time slips away from us."

I reached across the table, placing my hand over his with a firm squeeze. "You're still that person for me, dad. Young or old. When I lose my way or... my direction... You're my compass. Always have been."

He patted the top of my hand and nodded his reply, his gaze reflecting what my words had meant to him in that moment. I offered him a smile and he returned it. I had come to realize the hard way how quick time can get away from us and how things like this should never go unsaid. There were many times... too many to count... where I would lay away at night and wish I had one more moment to see my sister... just one... a chance to hug her tight and tell her how much she meant to me... how much I loved her. Losing her the way I did, taught me a valuable lesson in making the time to say what needs to be said to those you love.

"Well, Jacob... You're a great leader... a loyal friend and soon to be dad and husband. I know you want my direction and I will give you any advice you seek from me, but I have absolute faith in you. You'll be what Seth needs. Whether you realize it or not. Just like offering him a place of sanctuary in your home... that was the right thing to do, and I'm sure it meant more to him than you know. How's Leah holding up with all this."

"She's not with him... at the moment." I replied, with a hesitant glance his way.

"... she's not? Doesn't she know he's with you-"

"Something happened... recently with her."

I smiled as he looked my way with clear curiosity.

"Such as..."

"Paul imprinted on her..." I stated, unable to hide the smile on my face.

My father looked truly at a loss for words when he heard this.

"I - I take it- by the... wide grin on your face that this is a good thing?"

"Yes... I think it is."

"Does Sam know?" Billy asked, his tone laced with apprehension.

"He does... and believe it or not... he took it a hell of a lot better than I ever expected him to. He's still concerned for he welfare a bit, but I assured him she was in good hands. Paul's not the same, dad. He's grown... changed... adapted. I think the two of them stand a chance at making something remarkable."

"You, my boy... have certainly astounded me with this." Billy chuckled, his head still shaking back and forth in disbelief. "I never would of thought-"

"I know, right!" I laughed aloud. "Leah will keep him in line."

"Oh... I have no doubt about that!"

We both chuckled at this, for we knew it was true.

"Don't let them cause too much trouble for ya'..."

"They'll be fine. With time... everyone will adjust." I replied, glancing down at my watch.

"I think what you're doing for Seth right now is fine, Jacob. You've taken him under your wing."

"I wanna do more than that, though... What do you know about this when it comes to the legends? Anything come to mind..."

Billy shook his head, glancing toward his phone on the counter. "Nothing that comes to mind, but I can make a few calls and-"

"No." I replied, leaning forward to stop his advance. "Seth asked me to keep this to myself. Apart from you and Bella... and Leah... we're the only ones that know the truth about him and he wants to keep it that way for as long as possible. You know if you inquire like that... make some calls... it will start curiosity in the council... or with the elders... and Seth doesn't need that worry on top of everything else right now. Can we just keep it between us?"

"Sure thing, my boy... I understand." He replied, settling himself back in his chair. "I just don't want Seth to feel alone... he isn't."

"I've told him that myself, but he sure in hell feels that way. He doesn't understand why he would be initiated to phase in the first place... given what comes with it... imprinting and all. It doesn't make sense to him and to be honest dad... I wonder, too. I need to read up on some of the legends myself... see if there's something in there that can help him... or help me with him."

"I'm sure if it's in there, you'll find it, son. If you need anything else, or if Seth needs another person to talk to... please don't hesitate."

"I won't... thank you."

"No thanks needed..." He replied to me with a firm pat to my shoulder.

"I better be getting back to Bella."

"How is our girl?"

"Tired... really tired. But okay. Last prenatal visit was fine. No worries from the doctor."

"Good... Last time I phoned Charlie, he seemed a bit anxious about things. It's normal."

"I know... He's been calling me to check on her at least twice a day. He's concerned with how tired she'd been lately, but I reminded him that the doctor assured us both it was completely normal for this kind of fatigue right now."

"That don't mean he'll stop calling." Billy softly chuckled. "That's his baby... carrying your baby... his first grandchild. I'd say his worry is justified."

"True..." I agreed, knowing I would feel the same if placed in his shoes.

"How about you... How you holdin' up now that she's due any day? Nervous?"

I couldn't help but glance over to the picture of mom on his fridge still as I replied. "Yeah... I am."

I felt his hand firmly grip my arm, drawing my attention back to him, as he stared after the picture that had captured my attention in the first place.

"She will be with you ... on that day... and with Bella. You might not see her... but you'll be able to feel her near, my boy... have faith in that."

I swallowed hard at his thoughtful words, knowing they were true... and needed.

"I miss her, dad." I admitted.

"Me too, son... me too."

"Were you nervous? Before the girls were born?" I asked, watching his smile fade a bit when I mentioned the birth of Rebecca and Rachel.

"I was... and your mama knew it, too. She on the other hand was a champ through the whole thing. She was strong... and brave. Much like Bella is now. I will never forget the look on your mother's face when she laid eyes on you though. You were the boy she wanted... what made out little family even more complete. You were gonna be a Jeremy for months... but the moment she held you in her arms... something changed... she said you were a Jacob and so that's the name we chose. She used to call you her little sunshine."

I stared at him in awe as he told this to me. The reverent way he spoke of it had my full attention.

"I never knew that." I replied, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat.

"She loved you all ... so much... you and your sisters were her world, Jacob... and when you hold your child for the first time... and you look down to see them peering up at you with wander... you'll know the feeling. I can't wait for you to experience that, Jacob. There's nothing like it... in all my years and in all my journeys of life... holding you and your sisters for the first time... is the memory I hold the closest to me."

"Were you ... ever afraid?" I asked, seeing him wipe away a tear as he sighed.

"Yes... Being afraid is part of learning your way through the journey of parenthood, son. They'll be nights when you can't get them to sleep... nights when Bella is so exhausted that she just wants to rest, and so you'll take over and feel overwhelmed because you know it's your job to soothe that child and yet, you can't figure out how." He softly chuckled. "I had many nights like this with you. Your sisters... not so much... but you had your fair share of colic when you were just weeks old. Your mother would hold you and rock you till she could hardly keep her eyes open... all through the night... and when she couldn't go on... I took you... and I will admit, I was terrified that I was doing everything wrong for you, but after the second night with me, you fell asleep on my chest and slept almost till dawn. Your mother couldn't believe it. She was stunned and so was I. From then on... you would fall asleep with me... in my arms... just about every night."

His words touched me. It was a story he had never told and one I was grateful to hear now.

"You did right by us, dad... all of us. If I'm ... half the dad you were to us... I'll count it a true success."

He met my gaze with heartfelt emotion. as another tear ran down his cheek. I felt the lump in my throat grow larger when he reached out to embrace me.

"You make me so damn proud, Jacob... I want you to always know that."

"I do." I replied, returning his tight embrace. My voice thick while I forced back the emotion that threatened to cloud my vision.

"I know you're nervous... this will all be new to you... but trust me when I tell you that you'll do just fine. The both of you will... please tell Bella that for me."

"I will, Dad... Thank you. " I replied, releasing him and getting to my feet.

He waved as I left and headed for home, his words resonating somewhere deep within me. He had known just what to say to put my mind at rest... the same way he always had and I loved him for it.

When I arrived back home, Bella was busying herself in the kitchen, her arms holding a large mixing bowl with flour over flowing from the top of it, as she whisked away. I saw her flustered expression when she dumped even more of the powdery mess onto the kitchen floor.

I took the bowl from her, and set it on the counter before taking her in my arms.

"You know... You keep cooking like this and I'm gonna have to invite the entire pack over just to be able to consume it all."

She gave me a look that said she knew better and I couldn't help but smile to her in return.

"Seth is still asleep." She softly whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek. "I checked on him a few minutes ago. I didn't have the heart to wake him. He looked so peaceful."

"Good... he needs his rest, Bella."

"I know." She replied. "I hope he's comfortable in the nursery though. That air mattress isn't the most comfortable thing to sleep on."

"He'll be fine, Bella." I countered, drawing her in for a proper kiss.

She let out a small laugh when I reached around her in search of the cookie dough.

"Jake! You have to wait for them to cook!"

"Why?" I laughed, taking a large spoonful and trying to eat it.

"Because!" She exclaimed, reaching to take it from me. "You shouldn't eat raw cookie dough!"

"Baby... I'm a wolf... It's not like I haven't eaten in the raw before." I laughed, seeing her laughter dance in her eyes as she stepped back from me, placing her hands on her hips in mocked annoyance.

"Jacob Black... you know that's not what I meant!"

I shrugged and quickly ate the spoonful of raw dough, while she shook her head to me.

"What am I gonna do with you..." She sighed, turning back to stir the rest of her dough.

"I have a few ideas..." I teased, as my arms wrapped around her from behind, my hands coming to rest on her belly.

"Do you now?"

"Yeah..." I sighed, placing a kiss to her cheek and pressing my cheek to hers. She stilled her movements when she felt my hand caress her belly.

"I can only guess what they are..."

"Can you?" I whispered, hearing the shift in her hearts rhythm as I pulled her closer into me.

"I can try..."

"Well... for starters... you can marry me... grow old with me... make a hundred more memories in this house with me... Fall asleep in my arms each night and awake there each morning."

She set the spoon aside and turned in my arms, her doe eyes searching mine as she leaned in closer to me. Her voice soft as she spoke.

"I wouldn't want it any other way, Jacob Ephraim ... Not any other way."


	123. Chapter 125

**A/N: This chapter is done in Paul's point of view. I thought it was about time we heard from him again. Hope you enjoy! xoxo**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - FIVE**

**(PPOV)**

Leah had stayed right here with me. She had been kind and thoughtful, even offering to run to the store and get something for food... considering my cupboards were nearly bare prior to her arrival.

Despite my protest, she had gone into town and bought a cart full of groceries. Her arms full when she returned back to the cabin.

"There..." She exclaimed, plopping the many bags on the table with a huff. "Now you have food here..."

Her smile was breathtaking to me and I found myself more often than not... just looking at her.

"What?" She nervously asked, tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear when she noticed my intense stare. "Do you not like some of this stuff? I tried to get steak, but they only had ribs in stock at the market. Is that ok?"

I nodded to her, my eyes roaming her perfect form, as she unloaded the many bags of groceries.

Over the past few days... Having her with me had been a sole source of comfort for me and I was already feeling more like myself. I had tried to accommodate her in little ways... like with sleeping arrangements. I made up the couch and had let her have the bed for the past two nights, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable. She seemed more reserved with me, unlike before... she didn't show as much affection and I knew she was just trying to find her footing in all this.

So was I...

The first night had been full of discussion. She had told me why my memory was taken from me when it was and what it meant now. She had taken the time to explain this and even went over it again when I needed to hear it once more, reassuring me that there was nothing more to tell... no more secrets upon the matter.

I knew we had crossed a line before one had even been drawn, and it was clear in the way she carried herself now that she was nervous in light of all this. We were far past the point of just friendship. That had been pushed aside for something much deeper and I wanted her to learn how to be secure in me. Something she hadn't been in someone for a long while.

Adjusting to all this was a struggle for her.

I took note of the small distance she would now leave between us when we had dinner in the living room, or if she put on a movie... how she was careful not to sit too close. She had taken my hand once, and the small contact with her had made me instinctually want to draw her near, but I fought the urge, still trying to be courteous of her adjustment to this.

I couldn't push things with her...

We had purposefully avoided having any conversation about where we stood and as a result, it had left us both on edge and full of tension, but amongst all that nervous energy, I had been watching her... closely.

I studied the way she would carefully deflect my gaze if it started to linger for too long... How she would nervously bite down on her bottom lip when the tension between us became too hard to ignore... or how her eyes could peer right through me.

Things that I had never taken notice of before... were now burnt permanently into my brain.

Like the way she smelled... of cinnamon and fern... the most exotic scent I had ever smelled... or the way her lips were shaped... how her top lip was slightly curved and how her chin was angled to accentuate this alluring feature of hers. I would watch the way her silky black hair swayed when she walked and it would leave me aching for her.

"Do you think this will be enough food for the week?" She tentatively asked, while putting away the last box of cereal.

"Plenty." I replied. "Thank you."

She smiled kindly to me and began fixing dinner. She had quickly learned her way around the small confines of my kitchen.

"Need help?" I offered.

"Sure... can you peel potatoes?"

I let out a sarcastic laugh as I approached her, taking the bag of potatoes from her hands. "I think I can manage that."

"Good." She chuckled.

She had put together a roast and it smelled amazing. I couldn't remember a time when my cabin had smelt so good.

"Would you like me to do anything else?" She soon asked, her tone sincere.

"Why? Are you leaving?" I nervously replied, feeling the anxiety course through me at just the thought.

"No... Unless... you want me to?"

"I don't."

She nodded and sat down next to me, careful to leave the small distance of separation between us like she had been. I sighed and handed her the remote, seeing her place it on the coffee table as she abruptly switched off the television.

I glanced her way as she drew in a shaky breath, her hands nervously rubbing her legs a few times. I leaned forward, seeing her face full of dread now.

"Leah..." I began, moving myself closer to her and hoping she wouldn't shy away from me this time. "What's wrong?"

My arm brushed against hers and she closed her eyes. Her tone soft when she answered me.

"This is hard for me..."

I reached for her hand, taking it in my own and feeling her lace our fingers together.

"I know..."

She turned her head to meet my gaze with a look of uncertainty. "You do?"

I nodded, tightening my hand around hers. "I'm trying-"

"I know you are." She countered. "I can see how you're being cautious around me ... out of care... thank you."

"This is all new for me, too... But I know that I want you here... with me."

"I want to be here with you, Paul... I really do-"

"Out of obligation, right?"

She shook her head, her eyes glossy when they met mine. "Not out of obligation... I'm here... because I want to be. I can't help how I feel about you."

"What do you need from me, Leah?" I asked, the words leaving me before I had even put much thought behind them.

She stared at me as if she herself was unsure how to answer this. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and watched the many emotions flicker across her beautiful face while she searched for the right answer.

"... be patient with me?..." She softly replied, laying her head on my shoulder with a sigh.

"Okay... if that's what you need from me... than that's what I'll be."

"I don't expect you to understand... you probably think it's foolish-"

"I don't think that, Leah." I assured her, hearing the oven timer go off in the kitchen. She stood and kissed me on the cheek before running to take the roast out, my gaze trailing after her as she went.

Being patient wasn't a tall order from her... and given all the shit she went through with Sam... it was the least I could do for her.

She was afraid... timid... Hell... so was I.

Dinner had been excellent and I had done clean up, insisting she not worry about it. She fought me at first, but gave in to my request after a short while.

"You don't have to do it all, you know." I laughed, ushering her toward the living room.

"Woman's place is in the kitchen!"

"Maybe back in the eighteen - hundreds." I scoffed, seeing her returning laughter. The sound of it making my smile grow wider.

I had never been one to worry much about keeping a tidy house. In my opinion, it didn't matter, but if Leah was gonna be staying, than I at least owed her to try.

I finished up the dishes and grabbed another movie to watch with her for the rest of the evening... one I'd seen a hundred damn times... but truth be told... I never paid much attention to the scenes, I was more fixated on the closeness of her... listening to her soft breaths next to me.

"So tonight it's-" I began, only to pause when I saw her asleep on the couch, her face full of a calm I rarely saw on her. I set the movie down and covered her with a blanket, as she nestled herself in further to the couch. "Good night, Leah."

I hunkered down in the easy chair across from her, my eyes glued to her while she slept.

I could watch her for hours ... and I did... until I couldn't keep my eyes open. I tucked her in once more and retreated to my room down the hall.

I laid awake for a while longer, listening to the howling wind and missing the woods. I wanted to be back out there... with my pack... with my brothers. Being away felt wrong. My eyes had just closed when I heard the soft patter of feet approaching, and the creaking of my door as it opened.

I sat up in alarm, seeing Leah hesitantly approach me. Her gaze contemplative while she lingered by the door.

"You okay?" I asked in a hushed tone to her, noticing the uncertain expression on her face.

"Can I... stay in here... with you tonight?" She asked in a whisper.

I pulled the covers back from the other side of the bed with a nod, as she wandered over. She was fully dressed and clearly uncertain about this. I couldn't help but smile and almost chuckle, thinking of how sure she'd been before... when the imprint wasn't a factor. She'd been in this bed...completely naked before.

I got up and rummaged through my closet, finding a long sleeved blue shirt that I hardly wore and offering it to her to sleep in.

"Here... you can't be comfortable in that... take this."

"Are you sure?" She asked, reaching out to take it from me.

"Absolutely." I replied, leaving her to change and closing the door behind me. I stood a good ways back, not daring to look through the small opening of the door... I knew it would be my undoing if I caught even a small glimpse of her naked now. I bit back a moan as the images of her naked body beneath mine came fresh to my mind.

How good she felt... how perfect she was...

I let out a heavy sigh, running my hands over my face.

This was agonizing...

She had asked me to be patient... it was what she_ needed_... and I would, above all else, forever be what she_ needed me to be_.

"You can come in now." She softly called out then.

I slowly opened the door and saw her tuck herself in with a bashful grin on her face. "Thank you... for the shirt."

"No problem." I replied, climbing into bed next to her and switching off the lamp.

The silence between us was uncomfortable, as we both tried to fall asleep. Her arm barely brushing mine as she settled herself in.

"Good night, Paul... see you in the morning."

"Night Leah..." I replied, feeling the bed shift while she turned on her side, and pulled the covers up around her.

My mind ran wild in the silence and it kept me awake. How could it be that she was lying here... right next to me... yet she felt miles away and it made me feel like a small piece of myself was missing?

After another hour of restlessness, I silently sat up and tried to leave. The woods were calling me and I needed to run, it had been almost three days and I was anxious to go back, but before my feet had touched the floor, I felt Leah suddenly reach for me, her hand searching for mine next to hers. I stilled and turned back, feeling her gently pull me over to her. I went willingly as she laced our fingers together. Her breath hitching when she inched herself back toward me, wrapping my arm around her waist with a sigh of contentment coming from me.

"Please stay..." She whispered.

I drew her even closer in response to her plea, feeling her body curve to mine as I tightened my hold on her.

This... this was right and I hoped with some time that Leah would come to see that, too. If patience was all she asked until then... I'd be glad to give it to her.


	124. Chapter 126

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of The Twilight Saga series. Any and all recognizable characters/content belongs to the wonderfully talented Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: Hello everyone! :-) Hope you are all enjoying the weekend! Thank you for all your kind and thoughtful reviews. I love hearing from you guys! I hope you enjoy this next chapter and please feel free to review! As I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - SIX**

**(BPOV)**

Seth had slept most of the day away, and I was glad he was getting the solid rest he needed. After doing some further digging around, Charlie was able to locate the two delinquants who helped aid him in drinking well over half a dozen grateful dead concoctions, and another two mason jars full of moon shine. We knew he must have had something pretty damn potent to knock him on his ass the way he was when, given his high body temperature like the rest of the pack, he should have burnt off anything small in alcohol content like beer. I had been the one to call Charlie at the station and asked him personally to do a little digging around. After I enlightened him on Seth's highly intoxicated state, he was more than happy to get right on it. He informed me he would be paying an impromptu visit to the local tavern and he was quick to get back in touch with Jacob afterwards.

Jake was furious and asked repeatedly for the address of these two younger men, but Charlie informed him that he couldn't give such information out, due to the fact that it was a breech of confidentiality, and it could cost him his job at the station. Jacob reluctantly dropped the issue then, choosing not to pursue it any further for my father's sake.

When Seth finally awoke and wandered out to greet us in the living room, he was hesitant to even look at us, only offering a nod as a greeting when he took the offered cup of coffee I handed to him.

Jake had told me why he was so upset hours before and to learn how Harry had treated him made my eyes sting with tears. Seth had never deserved such treatment... from anyone... let alone from his own father. I would always love and respect Harry... he was my dad's closest friend, next to Billy of course, but learning how he had turned away from Seth when he needed him most, had undoubtedly made me see him differently.

Jacob had also taken some of the afternoon to enlighten me more on the new development between Leah and Paul, and while I was stunned at first from hearing the unexpected news, I was also elated for Paul to have found his semblance of unexpected happiness. After all he'd been through... he more than deserved it and I would be there to support them both in whatever way they needed.

"He doesn't have a solid figure in his life right now, Bella. I feel responsible for him. You know? Leah can't do it all. She needs to take some time with Paul right now. He needs her most, and I don't want Seth to feel alone. He needs leadership. Harry never took the time to help him through this, instead he chose to try to rid Seth of the feeling, and you can't do that to someone. You can't fucking tell someone how to feel or how not to feel." He sighed to me, pausing to glance down the hall toward the closed door of the nursery where Seth was still sleeping.

"You're right... you can't." I replied, seeing the anger in his face.

"I swear... I would never do that to our child, Bella. Make them feel like their a screw up because of who they are. You're not supposed to love them like that. It's not right.

"I know..." I replied, taking his hand in mine.

He loved Seth like his own family and I could hear in the tone of his voice how determined he was to be the kind of support he needed right now... the way Harry hadn't been.

I felt Jacobs hand slip from mine, as he placed it on my stomach, his eyes focused there as he spoke in a whisper.

"There's no way I'd ever hurt our child like that. I know this is all new... for the both of us, Bells... and I'm gonna make a hundred mistakes in a hundred different ways, but I promise you... I will be there for them... always. Love them ... unconditionally. That's how it works... how it's supposed to go... there should never be limits to it. I will love our child... and any future children... the same way that I love you, honey... endlessly."

His words had my eyes looming with new tears, as he said this to me with such conviction. It left me speechless.

I placed a hand on top of his, meeting his gaze and seeing the never ending devotion behind it.

"You've always loved like that, Jacob." I finally breathed. "Even when... I didn't deserve it... when I ran... and left you here... you still loved me... still fought for me. It's one of the many reasons why I fall in love with you again and again... everyday."

He smiled and leaned in for a kiss, his fingertips brushing away a fallen tear before his lips claimed my own.

"He can stay here... as long as he needs to." I assured him, seeing the concern lingering on his face for Seth when he pulled away from me.

"I want to help him, Bella... but with you being so close to your due date... I don't-"

"He's family." I softly interjected. "He's... your family... and that makes him my family, too. Besides... Seth is great with kids, Jacob. He wouldn't be a bother at all. This way, Leah can take the time she needs with Paul... and Seth has somewhere to come to with people around who care for him. If you ask me... it's a win - win."

Jacob drew in a breath, glancing reluctantly down the hall and back to me again. "I don't know-"

"What's to know?" I asked, reaching to recapture both of his strong hands. "We have the room... and it wouldn't be crowded here... not in the least. You built this home big enough to accommodate a growing family... so... I say he stays and we see how it goes. Take it day by day?"

"I want you comfortable with this, honey. Entirely... You come first... The both of you do." He replied, glancing down to my stomach once more.

"I love you for your devotion to me, but I knew what came with you when we got together... and I wouldn't trade any of it, Jacob. So... please... let him stay with us. Being here could do him some real good... and it would also give me company when you're on patrol... especially in the evening."

"I have this house on watch when I'm on patrol at night... you're never really alone here, sweetheart. I make sure of that."

"True, and I thank you for that... but I've been stuck in this house for the past month almost... trying to get rest and taking things easy... just like the doctor said... and for the most part, I've enjoyed the solace, but there are times having some company like Seth would do me good." I offered with a smile, trying to make him see my point.

He returned the knowing grin and kissed me softly on the forehead.

"If you're really okay with this, Bells... he can stay here, but I think you should be the one to ask him to remain here with us. Trust me, he'll be more inclined to accept the offer without feeling like an intrusion if it comes from you, Bells. I know him. He hates to feel like he's any kind of burden."

"I can do that. You're not scheduled to run tonight, right?"

"No...-"

"Great!" I replied, jumping up, and heading to the cupboards to search for the ingredients needed to make Emily's meatloaf she had given me the recipe for a few months ago. "Then I'll get busy cooking some dinner. We can ask him to stay over a nice home cooked meal... so he's comfortable... does he like meatloaf?"

Jacob chuckled and firmly gripped the chair I had been ready to climb on in order to reach the higher cupboards where the seasonings were.

"I'm sure he does... but if you think I'm letting you climb up there... you're sorely mistaken, honey." He sighed, taking the chair from me and reaching for the spices himself.

"Oh... sorry..." I meekly replied. "Sometimes I forget that I'm-"

"Very pregnant... and sometimes clumsy?" He lightly teased, kissing me on the cheek and handing me the spices I needed.

"Yes." I admitted with a roll of my eyes. "If I'm this forgetful now... what am I gonna do when I'm severely sleep deprived and can't hardly remember my own name... let alone our child's needs-"

"I'll be here." He whispered, pulling me in close to him. "... and I'll remind you... or better yet... I'll let you sleep and I'll take over... just like my dad used to do for my mom with me."

Something in the way he spoke this made my heart warm and made me smile. His own grin to me was wide and bright... sunny... and just like it always did... it made me weak in the knees for him... made me forget to breathe... and forget my surroundings.

"Speaking of your dad... Have you stopped in lately?" I asked, knowing how busy he'd been with pack duties the last week.

"Yeah... I did. I went by early this morning. I wanted to talk to him about all this with Seth. I needed his guidance."

"Was it helpful? Talking with him?"

"He knew a lot more about Seth's struggle with Harry than I ever knew. Dad said he was against Harry's plan on sending Seth away to be fixed in the first damn place."

"oh..." I replied, seeing his remorseful gaze meet my own.

"Yeah.. it caused a lot of tension between them before Harry passed, but my dad stood his ground and thinks that with a lot of time and support... Seth will be okay."

"He believes in you, Jacob... in the great leader that you are... Just like I do. "

"You always have." He replied, lowering his forehead to press to mine.

"It wasn't hard... You've always shined bright... like the sun."

He closed his eyes and drew me closer to him, his body rigid when he spoke his reply to me.

"My mom used to call me that..." He admitted, his tone low and almost inaudible. "Dad told me today... it was her nickname for me... when I was just little."

"Her Sunshine?" I asked, raising my hands to cradle his handsome face. "Cause that's exactly what you are... still."

"I never knew it before he shared the memory with me this morning... while we were talking about you. He asked me how you were and if I was nervous."

"Are you?" I timidly asked, as he pulled away to meet my inquisitive stare.

"I'm nervous for you... more than anything else, honey."

"Well... if we're being really honest... I'm scared, too."

"I know... " He replied, taking my hand and leading me to the table, where he sat down and pulled me gently into his lap. "Tell me what you're thinking, honey... What are you afraid of?"

"A lot of things..." I admitted. "Like... not being strong enough for this... to deliver a healthy baby to us."

He met my timid gaze and laced our fingers together. His tone the softest I had ever heard him speak.

"Bells... You're a lot stronger than you think, honey. You can do this... we can do this... together. I'll be there... every step of the way, and when you feel like you can't do it anymore... like you don't have any strength left... I'll remind you just how damn strong you are. I promise... I'll be right there with you... helping you in any way I can, honey."

"... even if I yell at you?" I nervously replied, feeling my cheeks flush from just the thought of being so terse with him in a moment of agony. I had heard my father tell the story of how vile my own mother was after eighteen plus hours of labor with me and it gave me chills to think of now.

"Even then, honey... Even then." He assured me, his warm hand coming to sweep my hair over my shoulder.

"I should apologize now for anything I say to you in those hours." I softly laughed, seeing him chuckle along with me.

"No... you don't need to apologize... besides... I've got broad shoulders, honey. I can take it."

I saw his face grow somber upon the last remark, his gaze filling with dread now.

"What?" I asked, tilting his chin back up to look me in the eyes again.

"I'd take it from you if I could, honey... -"

"I know you would... but this is part of it all, Jacob. Renee told me just last week during our phone call that she was in hard labor for almost twenty - one hours with me and even though it was hell for her then... she says she wouldn't trade any of it... not a single pain... because the moment she held me in her arms... it was all well worth it."

I felt him physically tense when I said this, his heavy sigh telling me how much he hated even the thought of me having to endure a hard labor like that.

"Twenty - one ...hours?" He replied in disbelief.

"Yes... Twenty - one hours and thirty - six minutes... to be exact." I clarified.

"Bells..." He sighed, tightening his hold on me.

"No matter how long it is... or how much I swear at the nurses... or you... I will be okay, Jacob... As long as your with me-"

"I will be... through all of it-"

His nervousness for me was apparent and I knew it was justified... I was just as scared as he was... just as scared as any first time mom was.

It was no secret that I had never been one to handle pain well... especially the kind of pain that was enduring and intense like this would be, but I knew Jacob would be the strength I needed to help pull me through. I couldn't wait to meet our child... to hold them in my arms... to see the adoring look on Jacob's face... to see what our child's features would be like. I wondered whether they would have eyes shaped like mine or if their hair would be jet black in color like Jacobs. No matter what ... they would be_ ours_... a beautiful baby we had made _together..._ and we would love that child eternally.

I knew this was also the kind of unconditional love that Seth needed and we had the opportunity to give it to him now... freely. Dear Sue would have wanted this kind of love and support for her son and since she was no longer with him, it was our duty to step up in her place. For that's what family was all about and that's what we all were..._ family._


	125. Chapter 127

**A/N: Hello Everyone :-) Excited for this short chapter! I chose to give our boy Seth a voice here. After all, he needs to be heard, too! I hope you enjoy and feel free to review! Thank you for all your kind words and comments! HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - SEVEN**

**(SPOV)**

I had never felt like such shit in all my life. I was a mess these days and it seemed like nothing could go right for me. Staying with Jacob and Bella had been my only true sanctuary for some time. I was grateful for their kindness, but also aware of the abrupt intrusion my arrival must have caused them. Bella was due any day now and she looked pretty uncomfortable at times. I felt like an absolute ass for my meltdown in front of them, but I had been a drunken mess... still no real excuse.

I had no true intention of becoming so intoxicated when I first went to the tavern, but after sitting and talking to the bar tender, who never asked me for a form of proper identification, given how mature I appeared to him in size and stature alone, I decided that throwing a few drinks back to ease some of my anxiety couldn't hurt.

Eight grateful dead's and an adequate amount of moonshine later...

...Much different story...

The young men I drank with were only a few years older than myself and I had bought them a few rounds, just trying to be friendly... trying to fit in somewhere for once. It wasn't until my head started to whirl and my speech began to slur, that I knew I had taken it too far.

Jake had been kind enough to put up with my mess afterwards and I felt like an absolute fool for it now.

I could hardly look at either one of them and was pretty damn sure Jacob would be reading me the riot act sometime soon for it.

So when Bella asked me if I would join them for dinner at the table, I had already gathered my clothes and placed them by the nursery door, anticipating what this meal would really be... a departure from me.

I approached the table with a heavy sigh, sinking myself down into one of their hand crafted kitchen chairs, and watching Bella place the large meatloaf she had prepared, in the center of the table. Her grin genuine when she handed me a plate and some silverware.

I eyed Jacob wearily, seeing him pile his plate and suspiciously glance my way.

"Not hungry bud?" He asked, offering to serve me.

I shook my head and ran my hands over my face.

"You don't have to do all this on my account. I know, after last night, what's coming now... I've already placed my clothes by the door. I'll just go-"

"No, Seth." Bella interjected, standing and approaching me with a thoughtful expression. "We don't want you to leave. In fact, we asked you to come out here and have dinner with us, so we could properly offer you a place to stay with us... on a more permanent basis... or just until you take some time for yourself... whatever you need. We both love you. So please... stay?"

I stared at her in shock. No damn way was she asking me to take up residence with them... not after the shitty stunt I'd pulled.

"You really want me to stay-"

"Absolutely." Jacob piped up, placing a good sized piece of meatloaf and potato on my plate. "We want you here with us, bro."

I saw him set the plate down in front of me, as Bella poured me a glass of milk and handed it to me. Her eyes meeting mine before she hurried away to get the gravy still heating on the stove.

I was speechless and could only stare down at my plate in response.

How could they want a mess like me here?

As if she could hear my thoughts... Bella placed the warm gravy on the table and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, her cheek softly grazing mine when she spoke.

"You're not a burden... You could never be a burden to us. We love you, Seth. Please know that."

I felt her place a kiss on my cheek, as she went to sit back down and pour the gravy. I swallowed hard, blinking rapidly and trying to clam the raw emotion that came bubbling to the surface from her sweet gesture.

I cleared my throat and felt Jake's firm hand on my forearm. "Let us take you in for a while... please?"

"... If-... If-... you're sure..." I hesitantly replied.

"We are." Bella whispered to me from across the table with a grin.

"Then... Yes... I would love to stay here... with the two of you."

Bella let out a sigh of relief, as if she'd been concerned I would say no. Jacob patted my shoulder as he dove into his dinner.

Both of them grinning to me and at each other. I returned their smiles and took a hardy bite of meatloaf... it was delicious.

I ate three helpings and helped them clean up when the meal was done, my gaze coming to be more watchful of Bella and her surroundings, knowing how easy it would be for her to trip and fall in her condition. She glowed.._. radiantly._.. and it was evident to anyone with the gift of sight to see how very happy she was with Jacob.

I had come to observe them more, as well. Taking notice how the two of them would move together like magnets drawn from afar. She would smile and he would return it... she would sigh heavily and he would glance her way, his eyes roaming her face in a way that told me he knew her very thought before she even voiced it to me... He would always reach for her... almost as if he couldn't stand next to her without touching her in some way... whether he placed a firm hand at the small of her back when she entered a room, or if he just brushed a lock of hair out of her face... he always seemed to somehow physically connect with her in one way or another.

It was a powerful connection to witness firsthand. We had all known how much they loved on another... how much Jacob lived and breathed for her... how her soul connected to his own... but to see it for myself... like this... had given me a whole new appreciation for the kind of bond they shared. I knew imprinting was meant for that... but I always thought that what they shared went much deeper than just that. Like it was rooted in the essence of who they were. Even back when Bella had been blindly deceived by Edward and the cold ones... I knew she loved Jacob and would somehow... someway... come back to him. My mother used to say that the love Jacob had for her went against the law of any boundary... that even if she so chose to marry Edward back then and become what they were... what we all loathed... that Jacob would cross legendary lines and limits to be with her... Human or not. My mother was always known as the hopeless romantic, and would remind me how very special that kind of love was and that I was entitled to have it for myself, too.

I never believed her... thought I pretended to for her sake. How could I really believe that? What they shared was something that someone like myself would never have. I was... as my dad used to say... _not right_.

The house was silent after Bella had finished putting away the dishes and Jacob had hauled in more firewood, stalking the fireplace and draping a heavy blanket over Bella when she settled herself in with a good book.

He kissed her forehead and whispered, "I love you," before asking me to accompany him to the porch.

I hung my head as we went, waiting for this to be the time he chose to ream me out a good one for my boozed up shenanigans from the night before, so when he pulled me into a hug, instead of the yelling and discipline I had been bracing for all along ... I was stunned.

"I hope you truly take us up on our offer, Seth." He sighed, releasing me and placing a firm hand on my shoulder. "Bells is glad to have you near... she really is. I think the thought of you keeping her company is soothing to her. She's getting to be a bit restless these days, and to be truthful, it would put my mind at ease to know you're here when I'm on patrol."

"I will... I just can't believe you're not pissed at me for before-"

"Seth... what you did... getting drunk... was reckless, but understandable. You're going through something right now... but I want you to come to me... talk to me.. if you need support or advice... someone to vent to, or someone to listen... I'm here for you."

His words made my eyes sting as I glanced down to my feet, avoiding his gaze.

"I promise..." He added, sitting down on the porch and gesturing for me to join him there.

"I don't know how to talk about some of this... with you... or anyone... my mom was that person for me."

"Well... if you let me... I'd like to be that person for you now. I won't judge or criticize you, bro. Whatever you talk to me about, stays with me only. I'll be sure to watch my thoughts around the pack."

"... That's a lot to put on you, Jake... especially right now."

"I can manage..." He replied, shoving his arm into mine with a chuckle. I laughed in reply and shook my head, seeing the stars up high in the night sky and thinking of my mom.

"Hey Jacob..."

"Yeah..."

"Do you think our moms are up there, looking down on us on a night like this?"

"I think their with us all the time, bud... all the time." He replied, glancing up into the sky with me.

"Bella's pretty awesome." I stated, thinking back upon her devout kindness to me over dinner.

"Yeah... she sure is..."

"It's ... something else."

"What's that?"

"What the two of you share, Jake."

"I'd be lost without her." He admitted, glancing my way.

"She looks kinda uncomfortable. I bet she's ready for this phase of the pregnancy to be over."

"Yeah. She struggles to sleep... even more so when I'm not there. I try to stick to day patrol and watch, so I can be here with her at night... I'm hoping with you being being here now that she'll rest a bit more easy."

I nodded, seeing the concern for her in his distant gaze.

"You're worried." I stated, observing his firm swallow before he answered me.

"I am scared shittless, Seth."

"Wow... I don't think I've_ ever_ heard that come from you."

"First time for everything, right?" He sighed. "I've done some research lately... been reading up about all the possible complications during delivery."

"... like what? How many complications could one delivery produce anyway?" I hedged.

"Well... at first, I didn't think there could be that many either, but come to find out... there are. Issues like... an abnormality in the fetal heart rate or rhythm... prolonged labor... which is what Bella's mother Renee had when she gave birth to Bella... stuff like...umbilical cord prolapse or compression... Or... Bella could have to have an emergency c- section if she doesn't progress in her labor... if she ends up really struggling the same way her mom did. Ever since Bella hit the third trimester, I've been looking all this stuff up..." He sighed, anxiously rubbing his hands over his face. "There's a lot, Seth... way more than I'm comfortable with."

"Wow..." I replied, sensing his nervousness. "I had no idea..."

"Neither did I... till I scoured the internet."

"She'll be in good hands, Jacob." I assured him, see his jaw flex with tension.

"I know... She has a good doctor...-"

"I wasn't just referring to those hands... " I clarified, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I was talking about your hands, Jacob. She'll be in_ your_ good hands."

He offered me half a smile as he stood and headed back inside, gesturing for me to come alone with him.

"I hope you're right, Seth..."

"I am." I replied, meeting his gaze of concern. "She's your whole world... your entire existence. You're gonna worry, bro. That's to be expected, but don't let the worry take your joy away from the whole experience."

He nodded, extending his hand out to me for a firm shake. "I'll try to remember that."

"If you forget... I'll remind you!" I chuckled, shutting the house door behind us.

"I'm sure you will!" He replied.

"Thanks for ... uh.. letting me... stay here." I offered, as we paused in the hallway.

"Anytime, my brother... Anytime..."

It had been too long since I'd felt a sense of home like this and I was grateful for the safe harbor Jacob and Bella had provided me. I never expected to have a sense of family like this again, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I could hear a still small voice tell me that my true family had been within my grasp all along, and I just had to reach out and embrace it.

I would forever miss my mom... she was my rock and I would always miss hearing her laughter or her kind words of encouragement and advice, but as I witnessed the loving care Jacob and Bella had shown to me, even though I felt unworthy, it became clear to me that maybe my definition of family needed to be redefined. Family was blood... yes... but family was kindness, understanding, a shoulder to lean on, a mistake to be forgiven from, a hardship to handle together and a set of loving arms to run to when needed...

I had all this... right in front of me...

Maybe... just maybe... Leah and I weren't really alone after all.


	126. Chapter 128

**A/N: Hello fellow awesome readers! :-) This update has been a little prolonged due to the work it required, but I certainly hope it will be well worth it! This chapter would not have been possible without music, so a huge shout out to my lovely Pandora app. I couldn't have done it without you! I hope to hear your reviews and love all of you! Thank you for your dedicated following of this story! HAPPY READING! xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - EIGHT  
**

**(JPOV)**

The adjustment to Seth staying with us, had gone smoothly so far. Bella was more than happy he had taken us up on our offer, and she had made him feel right at home. Her accommodating nature, undoubtedly easing Seth's nerves about being an intrusion. She regularly assured him how grateful she was to have his company. I had been on edge since Bella's last prenatal visit, earlier this afternoon. The doctor had run a routine blood check and discovered that Bella's iron count was a lot lower than it should be. She had addressed us about this before we left her office, instructing Bella to take an iron supplement twice daily until she delivered. She explained that a normal iron count for a healthy woman of Bella's age should be much higher than what was shown in her lab draw. The doctor went over the range of risks with us, further explaining that a low iron count could be harmful for her during delivery, and she wanted to try to reverse this as soon as possible, given Bella's fast approaching due date.

She was direct in telling us to be sure Bella took the iron supplements each day as recommended. I was quick to catch the serious concern in her tone when she advised this and it had me anxious. Bella however, didn't seem too concerned. She assured me she felt relatively normal, aside from being tired more, which the doctor had expressed to us was a direct side effect from the low iron count and Bella's pregnancy. The combination of the two was proving to exhaust her.

Her body needed adequate rest and I was dedicated to ensuring that she got it.

When we returned home, Bella was thoroughly wiped out and I told her not to worry about dinner, ensuring her I would order something so she could get some rest. She didn't protest me on this, instead, she laid down on the couch, while I stalked the fire and it wasn't long before she was sound asleep.

Seth had come home a few short hours later. He was prompt to tell me how patrol had gone, informing me that Leah had met up with him and Embry, volunteering to run it with Seth. He said she was in good spirits and happy that we had taken him in for a while. I hadn't been by to check on her and Paul in almost a week, and I knew, especially in this instance ... no news was good news. It told me to leave well enough alone. They would figure it all out in their own time. So I had chosen to let it be. Seth was happy to see her and had mentioned how excited she looked when they ran together.

She missed her bother... I had no doubt.

Seth had later offered to help me chop more wood out back, letting me know that there was a storm coming in.

"I can sense it..." He sighed, reaching for the ax I offered him, and splitting his first piece of wood.

"I haven't phased today... so I wouldn't know... but I'm sure if you can sense it, than it's coming."

"Looks like rain..." He added, glancing up to see the heavy darkened clouds that had begun to loom over us unexpectedly.

"They sure in hell look angry." I noted.

"Yep... we've had a drought most of the Summer months. I'd say we're in for a good rainfall."

Thunder echoed off in the distance as I brought down my ax, splitting the heavy block of wood clean in half.

"Sounds like we're gonna get more than just rain."

"Are you running at all this evening?" He asked.

"No... I'm staying here... close to Bella." I replied, tossing the pieces of wood into a growing pile next to me.

"Understandable... How did her appointment go?"

"... Good... Baby's heart rate is normal... strong... but... Bella's iron count was low when they took her blood."

"Low?" Seth asked, pausing before swinging his ax again. "What does that mean? Is it dangerous... for her or the baby?"

"... can be... if it's not reversed in time. They have her on an iron supplement. Told her to take it twice a day until she delivers."

"Her due date is right around the corner." He added, throwing me a look of real concern for her. "What... like... eleven days from today."

"Yeah... it is." I confirmed, splitting another piece of wood and feeling the sense of undeniable dread sink into me. "She needs all the rest she can get, Seth."

"What can I do to help?" He kindly offered.

"What you're doing right now, bro..." I replied, gathering the wood and heading in for the house, as the wind furiously began to blow.

He was right... we were in for a storm.

I watched the fire roar to life and tucked the blanket further in around Bella, while Seth piled his arm full of wood by the front porch.

"Do you think Renee will be flying in with Phil for Bella? Next week?" Seth asked, sitting down on the floor by the fire.

"I've been in contact with her... just last night... she's booked a flight for next Monday. She'll be here."

"Good."

There was a soft knock on the door then, causing Bella to stir in her sleep. I was quick to answer it, happy to see Emily on the front porch with a dish in her hands.

"Hey stranger!" She beamed, handing me the warm dish, as she threw her arms around me.

"Hey you..." I chuckled, returning her tight embrace.

"Goodness... I haven't been by in far too long." She admitted, waving with a smile to Seth, who had followed me to the door.

"Come in... we've missed you around here."

"Where's Bella?" She asked.

"Asleep."

"Oh, I'm sorry... I probably should have called first."

"You never need to call first... you know that." I assured her, setting the dish on the counter.

"I made you chicken casserole... figured Bella needed a break from the kitchen."

"You figured right, Em."

"There's plenty there for all of you... probably even enough for seconds!"

"Thank you." I replied, placing a kiss to her cheek and taking her jacket from her.

"The wind out there is crazy. There's tree branches all over the place. Sam says we're in for a pretty big storm. He checked the weather... I guess it's the remnants of that hurricane they had last week down south."

"I'll take this over the snow... anytime." Seth added with a chuckle. "That season will be here again before you know it."

"True." Emily laughed, tip toeing toward the living room to peak at Bella. "She looks exhausted. I remember that phase. Never enough sleep."

"Yea..." I replied, watching Bella's peaceful expression on the couch.

"She doing okay?"

"So far... so good... Just had another appointment today. Her iron is low, but the doctor's confident they can bring her levels back up with the supplement they gave her."

"Good... Make sure she takes them! No skipping a dose here and there."

"I will... absolutely." I replied. "Where's Sam?"

"At home... preparing for the storm. He's convinced we'll get harsher winds than they forecasted. You know Sam... thorough till the end. Levi was napping when I left, so he was hammering away... boarding up some of the front windows."

"How bad is the wind supposed to be?" I asked, feeling foolishly unprepared upon hearing this.

"They predict upwards of eighty mile an hour wind gusts by midnight tonight."

"Seriously?" I asked, realizing what a fool I'd been for not checking the weather earlier myself.

"Yes... We have extra boards at home if you need them. Sam could bring them over later for you? Before it gets any worse out there?"

"I have some out back... but thanks. Maybe I should take heed from Sam... better safe than sorry." I admitted, seeing Seth jump up and offer his help, as I headed back outside.

"I'll stay here and sit with Bella." Emily added.

"Thank you... that would be great."

The wind was harsh and the rain pounding, while Seth and I boarded up the front windows of the house, hammering away until we were about out of nails.

"Am I the only one who didn't see this coming?" Seth yelled my way, handing me another board.

"No..." I replied, thinking of my father and securing the final board in place. "I need to go get Billy."

"Definitely... don't want him alone in this."

I hammered the last nail and grabbed Bella's truck keys from my pocket, feeling the rain drench my clothes, as I instructed Seth to stay here with Emily and await my return with Billy.

The roads were covered in forest debris, as I made my way over to Dads. The sky opening up further and releasing a down pour that made it difficult to see ahead of me.

I pulled into his driveway and ran for the house, thankful that his door was open. I shook the water from me, running my heads through my soaked hair as I entered the kitchen.

Billy came wheeling himself out of his room with a startled expression, his eyes wide when he saw how soaked I was.

"Good land, son."

"I know... damn storm came out of nowhere." I huffed, grabbing a kitchen towel on the stove and drying my face. "I don't want you here alone in this. The winds are already bad and Sam says they'll get worse later on in the evening. Come back to the house with us... so I know you're safe."

"Jake... I can manage-"

"Please..." I asked, meeting his reluctant gaze. "I need to know you're alright, dad."

"... okay, son... okay." He soon obliged, hearing the devout worry in my tone.

I helped pack his things and aided him into the truck, being sure he was settled before making the short trek back home.

The powerful wind whipped branches across the roadway, causing me to slam on my brakes more than just once.

"Some storm we got brewing, eh son."

"I'd say... I wish I'd prepared better." I admitted.

"Nothing to worry or fret over, my boy. La'Push used to see storms like this all the time when you were just a tot. Your mother would light all kinds of candles and pull out any board game you kiddos wanted to play... just to pass the time by."

I nodded to him, vaguely remembering her doing this for us years ago. She always had a way of making everything fun for us... I had loved her for that... and so much more.

"I see Emily's here." Billy smiled ... "Miss her lately. Will be nice to see her."

I helped him out of the truck and carried his bag into the house. Emily was rushing over to give him a hug before we had even fully entered the doorway. Her grin wide and beaming when she greeted him.

"Goodness Billy! I've missed you!"

"I've missed you, too... sweet girl!"

"You best be careful on the journey home. Roads are getting damn tricky out there."

"I heard... Sam just called and asked me to head back. He doesn't want me driving in this too long."

"You take it slow." I advised her, giving her a hug, as Seth kindly ushered her outside.

"See you soon... Please tell Bella I said hello."

"I will, Emily... and thank you for the casserole. Your timing couldn't be better... I mean it."

She smiled once more, before making a dash for her car with Seth, and offering her a final wave before she disappeared from view.

"She always has impeccable timing, doesn't she?" Billy chuckled.

"Always... " I grinned.

"Love seeing her and Sam so happy now... with little Levi... great little family they are."

"Me too, dad."

The rest of the evening was spent by the fire with Seth and my father. Bella had remained asleep and only stirred once when I sat down next to her, placing her head in my lap, my fingers running through her silky strands of mahogany hair while she slept on.

Billy and Seth were content to find a sports show on and to banter back and forth about the winning teams in football. They were soft with their conversations, trying to keep it down for Bella's sake. I hadn't paid much attention to their chatter, my sole focus had been on the two heartbeats that surrounded me, filling my head with a rhythmic melody I never wanted to hear end.

Billy had paused his conversation at one point, taking notice of my contented silence.

"Son... have anything to add to this rowdy debate of ours?"

"No... sorry." I replied. "Wasn't paying much attention."

"I see that." He winked my way, before retreating into the kitchen with Seth, who served them both a good helping of Emily's dish she left behind.

The storm continued to rage on outside and my thoughts were drawn to Charlie. He was pulling a double at the station tonight.

I reached in my pocket, retrieving my cell phone and dialing him. It rang twice before he answered.

"Hey, Jake... Everything alright?"

"I was calling to ask you that." I chuckled. "Must be crazy down at the station tonight?"

"Sure is... storms like this are worse than damn full moons for us."

I chuckled and glanced down to see Bella stir.

"I wanted to check in is all. Bella is fine. She's asleep right now."

"Good... she needs the rest."

"Agreed."

"Are you guys all hunkered down for the worst of the storm? Supposed to get a lot more wind here soon."

"We are... I boarded up the front windows... few of the side ones, too... and dad and Seth are here with us. We should be fine. But you be safe out there tonight, Charlie. Take care of yourself."

"I'll do that... You too, son. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will." I replied, hearing him offer his goodbye and soon end the call.

Seth and my father were in a rowdy game of cribbage at the kitchen table when the wind began to pick up, causing the surrounding tree branches to snap loudly against the windows and siding of the house. I listened, as it whipped around the house fiercely, and heard the rain continue to pour in a steady flow.

I was careful not to jostle Bella, as I stood and headed for one of the few windows I had left unsealed, seeing the water flow down the driveway in it's own rapid current, as the rain flooded our small street.

"Holy shit..." I muttered, noticing the large tree that had fallen out back, it's position far enough away from the house for me not to be concerned, but still alarming. "Sam wasn't kidding... I don't think I've ever seen a storm like this."

My father heard this and chuckled, coming up from behind me with Seth to take a good look for himself. "That's cause you were no more than three or four the last time something like this hit us. We had some major flooding down toward the lower half of the Res. But we managed and we will again, my boy."

A sudden moan from Bella had me turning back toward her, noticing how her face was no longer awash of peace, but instead contorted into a pained expression.

I went to her, gently touching her cheek with the backs of my fingers as she moaned again.

My father wheeled over, closely observing her as the expression quickly slipped away, while she nestled herself further into the heavy blanket I had covered her with. It had gone as quickly as it had come.

A loud crackle of thunder ripped its way through the sky then, damn near rattling the house, while I listened intently to the rapid beating of Bella's heart.

My father glanced up at me, his look nervous when he spoke.

"When is her due date, again?"

"... ten days..." I replied, seeing his intense stare toward her.

"... Your mother... started her labor with you... in her sleep."

"Is that possible?"

"Yes... very."

"Should I call her doctor?" I asked, sitting back down on the couch and reaching for my phone.

"Not yet, son. Could be Braxton hicks... could be absolutely nothing..."

"Could be?" I asked, hearing the wind howl around the roof.

"You'll know... soon enough."

"I should wake her-"

"No, Jacob." My father protested. "Don't... if she is in the very beginning stages of labor... she'll need all the rest she can get now for her strength later. Trust me on this."

I watched her very closely over the next few hours, seeing her face remain calm and peaceful. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when she awoke some time later, after a loud crash of thunder rattled the house again, her eyes meeting mine with a small grin on her beautiful face.

"There you are..." I sighed, leaning down to kiss her.

"How long have I slept?"

"About seven hours."

"What?" She gasped, looking around to see Billy and Seth by the fire. "I slept that long?"

"You need it, honey... How you feelin'?"

"Good... rested... and hungry." She bashfully admitted, as she smiled at Billy, who affectionately returned it.

"I'll make you something-" I offered, seeing her get up and head for the kitchen.

"I can get it... It's alright." She replied, opening the fridge and pulling out the left over casserole.

"Emily stopped in when you were asleep, honey. She left that for us and wanted me to tell you hello."

"Awe... I wish you had woke me up... I would've loved to see her. Been too long since we had coffee together. I'll have to call her and say thank you tomorrow for this. Where did this storm come from, anyway?"

"Out of nowhere... been pouring ever since you fell asleep... winds are brutal... had to bored up some of the windows with Seth and bring dad over... I wanted him safe." I replied, keeping a watchful eye on her while she whirled about the kitchen.

"Of course." She affectionately smiled. "You know he can be here anytime... Our home is his home, too."

I reached for her hand, seeing her gaze turn back to me in response.

"You sure you're feeling okay?" I asked, the apprehension in my tone obvious to her.

"I'm sure... why do you ask?"

I shot a glance toward Billy who offered me a reassuring nod.

"You were... moaning... in your sleep ... a few times... Had me worried is all." I confessed, caressing her cheek with my thumb.

"I was?" She asked, anxiously running her hands through her hair with a perplexed look on her face. "I feel fine... I don't remember... dreaming or anything. My back has been a little more sore than usual today, but-" She paused, gesturing to her rounded belly. "...Who can imagine that given the size of me."

Her laughter was light when she said this, but I caught the slight look of insecurity that plagued her features and I was eager to erase it from her.

"To tell you the truth, Bells... I don't think you've ever looked more beautiful than you do right now." I sincerely replied, with a kiss to her forehead, before taking the plate from her to carry into the living room.

"Jacob ... you would say that, anyway..."

I turned back to see her shake her head in disbelief as she followed close behind me.

"I speak the truth..." I replied, leaning in close to her, so her lips were a mere breath away from mine. "Do you need me to show you how truthful I'm being?"

"... we have... guests..." She meekly replied, as a rich blush colored her ivory cheeks. "Be good..."

"True..." I admitted, as she pulled me onto the couch with her, comfortably settling herself in my arms.

She ate the entire plateful of food and even wanted a glass of milk afterwards. It was the hardiest meal I'd seen her finish in at least a week. Her appetite had dwindled a bit as of lately, and it did me good to see her eating so well now.

She soon began chatting away with Billy and Seth, sharing jokes and memories with them, as I got her the iron supplement from the doctor and handed it to her with a glass of water. She took them both without complaint and went right on talking. Her smile bright and her laughter infectious, while Billy recalled some of the funnier stories from three decades back or more with Charlie and Renee.

Dad had her in stitches most of the night, as the storm continued to hammer on through the Res.

It was near three in the morning when the power suddenly went out, effectively stopping the chatter between us all.

"... shit..." I cussed, searching for a flashlight in the kitchen.

"At least we have the fire..." Seth added. "... and don't you still have that generator my dad gave you for that last big snow storm we had about five Winter's back?"

I paused upon hearing this, thinking back to when Harry had given my father and I a generator. Billy had gifted it to me before we moved in here... for instances just like this one.

"Yeah, son. You should have it still, right?"

"It's under the back porch... Covered with that blue tarp." I sighed, heading for the front door with Seth. "I'll get it going. Be right back."

Seth was helpful in hauling it out and bringing it to life. It took us a few tries to get it going, given the damn wind and stinging rain, which made it hard to see anything, but the third time had proven to be a charm, and Seth smiled wide to me when we saw the lights in the house come back on through one of the few windows left unguarded.

"Success brother!" Seth enthusiastically yelled my way, running for the house.

We were drenched from head to toe. Bella and Billy began laughing hysterically the moment they caught sight of us.

"Finally got it, eh son." Billy chuckled.

"You guys are soaked right through." Bella added, bringing us both a towel. I took it from her with a chuckle of my own, shaking my head and purposely getting her wet in the process. She giggled and ran away from me to Billy, who couldn't help but laugh right along with her.

"I'll change."

"Me too... I feel like a drowned rat!" Seth added, following behind me to get a dry change of clothes.

I heard Billy talking to Bella as I pulled on a white t- shirt and some jeans, tossing my wet clothes in the hamper. Their conversation immediately catching my interest.

"You know... storms like this were Jake's mother's favorite kind of evening."

"Really?" Bella eagerly replied to him.

"Yes... she loved nights like this. I will never forget the time that she took all the kids outside ... in our front yard... to dance with them in the pouring rain." He laughed. "She had them all laughing and dancing in these huge puddles... Jacob was only five then... and she chased him all over the front lawn with his sisters, they were all slipping and sliding on the wet grass... middle of the Summer... I came home to see her rolling in the grass with them... Having the time of her life. I'm sure everyone on the Res thought she was nuts... but that was her... she never cared much about what anyone else thought... just as long as her babies were happy... she was happy... and that's all that mattered."

I drew in a shaky breath, reminiscing with him about that time... I could remember every detail about it... her laughter when she caught me as I tried to run from her and head for another huge puddle... the sound of the rain beating on the ground ... the sound of her voice calling my name, as she hauled me up in her arms.

I swallowed hard as Billy continued...

"That was her kind of spunk, you know? She would have the kids outside in the Winter, all bundled up and filling sauce pans with snow... then she'd bring them in and have the kids help her make snow ice cream."

"Snow ice cream?" Bella chuckled ... "I've never had that."

"You will... Jacob will show you... It was his favorite thing to do in the Winter with his mother... besides helping her bake cookies for the Christmas season, of course. She used to let him make a huge mess and then just grin at him when he ran around the house with handfuls of flour... chasing down Rebecca and Rachel. He'd throw huge handfuls of it in the air and proclaim it had snowed in the kitchen! What a mess it left for his mother, but you know, she never once scolded him for it... she used to say to me... 'Billy... just let him be little. He'll be tall and grown before you know it!' She was right, too."

I smiled wide as I thought of this...

Mom used to always say that...

Dad was right ... I would show Bella... and our kids... all of it ... one day.

"I hope so..." Bella replied sincerely. "She was an amazing mother. I hope to be half as good as she was."

"Oh, Bella... dear... you're gonna be great... I just know it." I heard Billy say, as I headed back out into the living room, seeing Bella sitting next to him by the fire with a blanket over her.

Billy gave me a knowing look as I hunkered down behind her, drawing her back into me, and wrapping my arms around her belly, my cheek pressed lightly to hers.

"You're gonna be amazing, honey." I whispered, feeling her head come to rest on my shoulder.

We all continued to talk, and recall both funny and fond memories, until none of us could keep our eyes open. We said our good nights, and I helped settle Billy into the recliner, before turning in for the night myself.

The storm had yet to quit and when I stepped outside to get a good look at the flooded roadway, I was stunned to see another two trees had crumpled from the harsh and battering winds. The road was now a complete wash out and I was fairly convinced that none of us would be leaving here by way of vehicle anytime soon. Hell... unless Seth and I went in wolf form... we wouldn't be going anywhere for the next twenty - four hours ... without a boat.

"... Hell..." I muttered, shutting the house door and heading to bed where Bella was already waiting.

"Still pretty bad out there?" She asked, moving herself closer to me.

"Yeah... the roads completely flooded, Bells. We're going to be here for at least a day... maybe two before it clears."

"Guess it's a good thing you're my wolf..." She softly laughed, tucking her face into the groove of my neck. "Little water and wind doesn't bother you."

"Nope..." I chuckled... "Guess you've got a good point there, sweetheart."

"I love you... Good night, Jacob."

"Good night, honey. I love you, too."

Bella was asleep again in no time, but I struggled to settle my thoughts down enough to get any adequate rest. My arms tightened around Bella when I felt her soon shift closer to me, her hand coming to rest on my chest. I listened to the soothing sound of her heartbeat... softly thrumming away and mixing with the rapid beat of another equally cherished within her.

I managed to fall asleep listening to this perfect sound, my soul warming from it's hidden and unique melody.

It was Bella's soft moan that awoke me some time later, feeling her body shift next to mine as her heart began to beat faster than before, the sound of it surrounding me when she let out another moan... this one much louder than the one before.

I felt her grip my arm, as a forceful and unexpected gasp left her. She then bolted upright with a cry that made my chest instantly tighten, a sense of dread steadily creeping its way over me.

"Bells..." I whispered, turning on the lamp and seeing her face contorted in the same painful expression as before. "Honey..."

I moved on instinct, coming around to her side of the bed and seeing her reach for me, her fingers quickly lacing with mine in a firm grip as she gasped again.

"Jake..."

Adrenaline flooded through me from the sound of her pained reply. Her face draining of color as she tried to move, only to stop and cry out again.

I released one of her hands, pulling the comforter back and seeing the bed soaked under her, fresh blood now marking the sheets. She saw this and looked at me with a choking fear I had never witnessed on her before. She quickly inched further herself back, seeing the blood soak through the pair of sweatpants I'd given her to sleep in. Her eyes wide with immense fright when they searched mine.

"My water... just broke... Jacob -..." She breathed to me.

I was fast to peel back the rest of the quilts on the bed, seeing her face full of a panic that consumed me.

I went into auto pilot... acting on instinct alone in the moment, as I reached for her, gently easing her further down the bed so she was laying flat.

"Bells... take a deep breath for me, honey."

She shook like a leaf while I gently pulled my sweatpants off her. My eyes trailing to her bloody underwear. I tossed the stained sweatpants to the floor, hearing her moan of discomfort when I gently lifted her just enough to remove the bloody underwear from her, and leaving her bare before me.

I sucked in a sharp breath, seeing the small trickle of blood that began to run down her naked thigh, as she let out another cry.

"Oh... god ... Jacob!"

My hands shook while I reached for my cell phone, quickly dialing 911... only to see Bella grip the sheets, her grasp on them making her knuckles go white from the force of her hold.

"9-1-1... what is your emergency." The operator asked, moments before the phone disconnected my call entirely. I cussed and tried again, seeing the flashing "no signal" sign now displayed across my screen.

Fuck... the storm...

"No service." She panted. "Not in - a storm - like this."

Fear flooded my system as she searched my gaze, her panic reflecting my own as she tried to sit up.

"The damn storm has knocked out any reception." I huffed, getting to my feet and running across the hall to the nursery where Seth lay asleep. I took his phone, my abrupt intrusion waking him at once, as he jumped to his feet.

"Jake... what - what is it." He asked, seeing me hold his phone up.

"Tell me you have fucking reception on this phone, Seth." I gasped, meeting his wide eyed expression.

"No... I have shitty reception in general... let alone in a storm like this. What's going-"

"It's Bella." I forced out, rushing out to the kitchen and grabbing my fathers old flip phone from the table... He had no bars either.

"Shit... shit!" I yelled, tossing the phone and hearing my father stir in the next room from all the commotion.

"Jacob...-"

Seth went to him, helping him into his chair and wheeling him out to me. My hands began to shake even worse when I heard Bella desperately cry out for me from the bedroom. I watched my father's face pale, as he wheeled himself quickly behind me.

"Jacob is she-"

"Yes..."

"Call an ambulance-" He nearly shouted.

"I've tried! None of us have any damn reception!" I huffed.

"Shit!" Billy cussed, turning to Seth while I rushed back to Bella. I wrapped her up in the comforter, keeping her covered, as I gathered her securely in my arms and carried her out into the living room, feeling her cling tightly to me as she gasped.

"Seth!" I yelled, seeing him jump at the mere sight of us. "I have no way to get an ambulance to her-"

"Tell me what to do... and I'll do it-" He promptly offered.

"Go to Sam's... get Emily... Tell her about Bella and try getting service there to call for help." I instructed him, laying Bella down on the living room floor as gently as I could. Her grip on me tightening when I tried to release her.

I stilled there above her, seeing her eyes glisten with her immense fear.

"Jake..."

"I'm here... I'm right here, honey... I won't let anything happen to you... alright?... I will get you the help you need... I promise you, Bells."

She nodded to me, as I ran for the bathroom to get towels, my adrenaline and fear coursing further through my veins with every step I took.

She needed a hospital...

She couldn't have this baby here...

Billy grabbed my arm, before I headed back for Bella, his eyes and voice full of emotion when he spoke.

"Jake... we have to get her to the hospital ... somehow."

"The roads are washed out, dad. The nearest hospital is Forks. I can't even make a fucking phone call, let alone request an ambulance right now!"

Billy glanced over to Seth who was just leaving, his eyes wide with true panic like ours.

"Seth... RUN!" Billy yelled to him. "Get to Sam and Emily's as fast as you can."

"Okay." He replied, running out of the house without a second look back.

I quickly grabbed the pillows from our bed, placing them under Bella on the floor in the living room. Her hand pressed firmly to her stomach as she moaned.

I placed the towels under her, seeing her lean abruptly forward with a strangled cry. Her body bowing and her hands coming to clutch my forearm.

"He's... going to get help - Right?" She breathed.

"Yes, honey. He will get to them-"

"My contractions are too close, Jacob... I don't... - think - Seth will make it to them - in time. -" She cried, her hands gripping her thighs.

"How close, honey..."

"Every 11... or 12 minutes-" She panted. "Seth will never - make it - to them and back... before-"

"Seth is fast, honey... and I guarantee you... he's running faster than ever before right now ... for you."

"... Your dad's ... here..." She breathed, reaching for the blanket to further cover herself. I took her hand, stopping her.

"He's in the kitchen, honey. He won't come in here... you're alright." I assured her.

"This wasn't how we planned it. We were supposed to be - in the hospital - surrounded by nurses- and pain meds-" She cried.

"I know, Bells... but you're gonna be okay, honey..."

"Ten days early..." She moaned. "We have - nothing - here for this, Jacob!" She brokenly whispered to me.

I couldn't stop her fear or my own in this moment. She was right ... we weren't prepared for this... not like we should've been and I was fucking terrified about what that meant for her... or for the baby.

I forced myself to stay grounded, drawing in a steady breath and taking her hands tightly in my own.

"Bella... I know you're scared - But I'm right here with you, honey and together... we're gonna do this. I promise, I will do everything I can for you... for our baby..."

She frantically nodded as the tears streamed down her face.

"I love you..." She whispered, as my hands released hers, my heart pounding painfully in my chest.

"I love you..."

I could hear my father in the kitchen, opening drawers and searching for something.

"Dad... what are you looking-" I began, gently opening Bella's legs to see how progressed her labor was.

"Water! I'm - Boiling water. This isn't my first run at this, son. Your mother went into labor with Rachel at home... I delivered her myself."

"You never told me that." I replied, seeing Bella's fearful gaze catch mine.

"If Seth doesn't make it-"

"He will." I countered.

"If - He- Doesn't... Jacob... your dad - may have - to help you-" She replied.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, sweetheart." I assured her. "Right now... I need you to try to relax and breathe for me."

She nodded, propping herself up on her elbows with a gasp.

I watched the hands of the clock tick on, as an hour crept slowly by... the storm still blowing through the Res with pounding rain and damaging winds.

Bella was in agony, her contractions were becoming more frequent and lasting longer and with each one she would let out a cry that made my insides cringe for her.

"Jake... they keep - getting closer..." She moaned. "How is this - Happening!"

"Breathe for me... just breathe, honey."

I timed how long her contractions lasted, noticing she released the death grip on my hand after fifty - two seconds, her face flush as she laid back.

I saw the blood begin to stain the towels under her, as I gently spread her legs wider, hearing her moan of discomfort when she shifted her weight for me.

"You have to check me-" She bit out, her legs shaking when she met my gaze.

"I know, honey." I replied, kissing her forehead and making a run for the kitchen, where I doused my hands and even my forearms in soap, lathering them up good before rinsing with hot water. I could feel my fathers eyes on me, as I shut the faucet off and reached for a clean towel beside him.

"Is once enough?... should I wash them again?... I don't want to risk her getting any kind of infection." I asked him, my voice thick with stress and emotion when I heard her cry out for me again.

"... Couldn't hurt to do it again, son..." Billy quickly replied, taking the towel from me and switching the hot water back on.

"I don't know the first thing about-"

"... I know, son. Neither did I..."

"How did you do it? Stay so damn calm? I feel like I'm gonna lose my shit here, dad.-"

"You won't... you'll stay grounded for her, son. That's what happened to me... I stayed as calm as I could for your mother. She needed that from me and Bella needs it from you now."

I nodded, rinsing my soapy hands for the second time and drying them, as he turned up the burners on the stove to high heat.

"I may need - your help." I admitted, before heading back to Bella.

"... and I'll be right here if you do... but I don't think you will. Jacob... trust yourself and believe in yourself... for her. Trust that you'll know what to do-"

"How?-" I interjected, feeling my stomach knot, as I thought back to what the doctor had said to us... Her iron was too low... it posed a risk to her.

"You will know what she needs... when she needs it. Women have been having babies for-" He replied, pausing when he saw the horrified look on my face.

"Her iron... She could lose too much blood...-"

"Bella is strong, Jacob."

"Keep trying to get a call out-"

"I have been ... no luck, yet."

"Keep trying... please." I begged him, before heading back into the living room.

I was careful not to touch anything before I reached Bella, her face still full of pain and panic when I held my hands up to her.

"Washed them twice... forearms too, honey..."

"Okay." She panted. "Reach down and tell me what you feel, Jacob... I studied some of this before I left nursing school... I remember enough to help you-"

I drew in a steady breath, making eye contact with her once more before doing as she instructed. Her hands shakily gripping her thighs tightly, while I listened to her thorough instructions and reached down between her legs.

"I need to know - how far along I am-"

She paused then, leaning forward with a cry, as she gripped her thighs harder.

"Contraction..." She forced out.

I watched the clock, seeing the seconds tick and noting this one lasted a little over a full minute. Her previous contraction wasn't even seven minutes ago and had been shorter in duration.

They were closer together than before...

I tried to reign in the panic as it threatened to consume me.

She needed me grounded... Bella needed me calm... for her... I had to be.

Her breaths were ragged as she fell back into the pillows beneath her with another strangled cry.

"Tell me - what you feel-" She then demanded. "I need to know-"

I inserted two fingers, hearing her loud moan of discomfort and wincing myself from the sound of it.

My breath caught when she propped herself back up, frantically seeking my answer.

"Bella... " I replied in shock to her. "I can feel the head, honey... The baby's right there..."

She nodded, meeting my awed and alarming gaze with a look of disbelief. "Wh-

My father's frantic yell stopped us both, as it filtered in through the living room.

"Jake! I finally got a call out... Emily is coming... right now... and she called an ambulance! Seth just got there!"

I locked eyes with Bella, seeing her tears spill, as she frantically shook her head to me. "They'll never make it-"

"How long?" I yelled out to him in reply, feeling her blood soon cover my hand and trickle down to my wrist. My eyes never leaving her face.

"Sam said he was running her here himself! Seth is staying with Levi. The roads are still a complete wash out... he had no other way to get her to us."

I gritted my teeth as I thought of Sam rushing Emily here... He was fast... He would damn sure make it to us before any ambulance would in this shit.

"The ambulance will be here as soon as it can-"

"There's no alternate route here that won't take them at least an hour longer to get to the Res!" I yelled back, knowing my words were true. "Emily will get here..." I assured Bella. "Sue taught her a lot before she passed, honey... She gave some of that knowledge to Emily... and Sam will get her to us."

"I can feel - the baby, Jacob... She- won't- make it here-" She sobbed to me. Her whole body tensing with another contraction.

"Bells... look at me, honey..." I whispered, seeing her focus her pained gaze on mine. "We can do this... you and I... do you believe that?"

".. yes-... I believe in - you... Jacob-... in us-"

I could barely swallow as the minutes passed on. Each agonized cry from Bella making my very insides painfully ache for her.

My hands were soon covered in her blood, and it had soaked through the towels beneath her. They shook when my gaze landed on a picture of my mother on our mantle. Her eyes alive with laughter in the moment captured by my father years ago.

I stared at it long and hard...

She was here with me... with Bella... I knew she was.

Call it crazy... my mother herself had taught me to call it faith and that's what I needed right now... More than ever... I needed faith.

"Help me... help her... I know you're here..." I breathed out, so low that Bella couldn't hear me over her cries.

Like an answer to my near silent plea... I heard the front door suddenly open and Emily's frantic voice call out for us, as she ran into the living room.

"Bella? Jacob?"

"Em..."

She was drenched from the rain and shaking cold when she took in the sight before her. The paled look on her face making my stomach twist painfully. I watched her eyes grow wide when she saw the blood... how much of it there was.

"She's progressed this fast?" Emily asked me in disbelief, dropping a small black medical bag on the floor next to her and rummaging through it wildly.

"Her contractions are four minutes apart..."

"I know what this is... precipitous labor..." She sighed.

"What exactly is that, Em?"

"It's a rare condition where a labor is under four hours. It's uncommon... only happens to about three percent of women. It causes a fast labor, Jacob... just like this one. Bella couldn't have known... nor could her doctor... precipitous labor is unpredictable and posses more risks to normally non - complicated deliveries. It's very difficult on the mother... on Bella... mainly because of it's fast rate of progression. It leaves little to no time for her to recover from a contraction before the next one hits. They come very fast..."

I looked at her in disbelief, feeling my fear for Bella and our baby increase with this knowledge by tenfold.

She hurriedly placed another towel under Bella and replaced my hands with hers.

I moved out of her way, stepping back and hearing her quickly instruct me.

"Jacob... Go wash your hands and get back in here... fast."

I ran to the sink, seeing Sam's paled expression when he caught a glimpse of the rustic red that covered them.

"Shit, Jake..." He cussed, coming to switch on the faucet and pour the soap on my hands.

I felt numb as the worried chatter carried on around me.

"That's too much blood... isn't it?" Sam yelled in to Emily.

"How much blood has she lost, son?" Billy asked, as I mechanically dried my hands.

"Too much..." I breathed.

"Where the hell is that damn ambulance! It's been almost ninety minutes since we called!" He yelled, grabbing the useless cell phone.

"Jacob..." Sam sighed, his gaze full of a palpable concern. "Sue taught Emily a lot... and Bella... she's strong."

I felt my terror ebb when Bella let out a scream that tore it's way through me like a knife's jagged edge.

"Jacob!"

I rushed back in to her, seeing Emily's hands now covered in Bella's blood like mine were before, her eyes wide when they met my own.

"I can't do this... I can't-" Bella cried, leaning forward and begging Emily to give her something for the pain.

"Bella, I don't have anything like that with me, and even if I did... you can't have anything like that right now. You're fully dilated."

"Emily!" She sobbed. "I can't-"

"Yes you can." Emily replied, reaching down in between her legs. "You're almost there, Bella. I need you to focus for your baby."

"I'm gonna be sick..." Bella suddenly panted, her hand quickly covering her mouth.

"Here, Jacob." Sam huffed, suddenly appearing behind me with an empty bowl. His face full of empathy, as he tossed it to me, before turning away with an ashen expression.

I went to her, holding her long hair back, as she emptied the contents of her stomach into it.

"It's normal..." Emily assured me, noticing my alarmed gaze. "It's from the pain... Give her a minute... and get her some water, Sam!"

I handed the bowl off to Sam and helped her lean forward enough to take a drink. She was shaking... trembling fiercely as her hands sought mine.

"I'm - not ready ..." She sobbed, reaching for me, as another contraction gripped her hard, her hand squeezing mine in a vice like grip.

I placed myself in behind her, feeling her back pressed firmly against my chest, her fingers lacing with my own

"Deep breaths for me, sweetheart... I'm right here... I've got you, Bells." I assured her, my cheek pressing against hers, while Emily withdrew a small yellow blanket from her bag. Her tone full of emotion when she spoke.

"I brought this from home... it was one of Levi's we never even used... Okay, Bella... you're ready... on the next contraction... I want you to push..."

Bella nodded and settled herself in closer to me, her trembling only getting worse.

It wasn't long before Bella let out another cry and re - took my hands.

"Bells... you can do this, honey. You're the strongest woman I know and I'm right here with you." I breathed, kissing away the tears on her cheek.

"Okay, Bella... Give me a good solid push... I'm gonna count for you... when we reach ten, take another deep breath and push again." Emily thoughtfully instructed.

Bella sucked in a deep breath and pushed, just as Emily told her, the both of us counting to ten for her.

"That's good, Bella... really good. I can see the top of the head. Keep going... You're doing great."

Bella pushed over a dozen more times, each one wearing her out more than the last. Her agony gripping me so hard that I could no longer swallow back the emotion the began to choke me.

I felt my eyes sting, as she pressed herself further into me with a sob of desperation.

I wanted to take this from her...

"Emily! I can't - push anymore-"

"Yes you can, honey... We're almost there..." I assured her, sensing her utter exhaustion and trying to encourage her.

"Take a few deep breaths, Bella and reach down for me... feel your baby. You're doing so great ... only a few more good pushes!" Emily instructed.

My gaze wandered again over to the picture of my mother, as the first tear of many slid down my cheek.

"Oh, god..." Bella panted, leaning forward with my support and gripping her thighs harder, before pushing again for another ten second count.

I had never seen her strength in the way I was witnessing it now. Her hair was damp with sweat and her body was thoroughly exhausted beyond belief, yet she still pushed for all she was worth. Her hands releasing her thighs and desperately taking mine, as she pushed harder at Emily's request.

"Bella! Keep going... One more push... just one more."

"Ugh... I - don't - think I have - another one - in me."

Emily took Bella's left hand and guided it down between her legs. "Feel that?"

Bella let out a choked sob in response and leaned forward. "I can feel our baby, Jake."

"Push, honey... One more time, sweetheart. You can do this." I forced out, my words heavily strained now.

Bella took a deep breath and started to push again...

"One... Two... Three... Four..." I counted.

"Bella the baby is coming... keep it up. Bare down hard for me... for your baby..."

"...Five ... Six... Seven..." I continued on for her.

"Oh my goodness..." Emily exclaimed, frantically reaching with bloody hands for the yellow blanket close by, her eyes lighting up at her words.

"...Eight ... Nine... Ten..."

Bella let out a final breath of pure exhaustion, collapsing back into me, as the sound of a wailing cry suddenly filled the room.

It was the purest sound I'd ever heard... nothing could even come close in comparison.

"Oh... oh my gosh!" Emily cried out, her whole face lighting up with immeasurable joy. "It's... it's... a little girl... you -guys - ... you... have a little girl!"

Bella looked up at me, her eyes alight with unabashed soulful joy. "We ... have a little girl!?"

"... you do..." Emily whispered to us, as another loud wail came from the small bundle in her arms. I could not take my eyes from her as Emily placed our precious little girl on Bella's chest. My heart nearly stopped when Bella drew her in closer to us. My eyes wandering over her perfect face, taking in her precious features and seeing how she had Bella's eyes and nose already... Her hair jet black in color like mine.

The mere sound of her first wailing cry had left me awe struck.. My heart feeling as if it might break from just the sound of her.

She was absolutely perfect... everything about her...

From her ten tiny fingers... to her ten tiny toes...

Bella and I... what we had... the love we shared... had created her...

I tried to speak... but couldn't utter a single word as my tears fell one after the other.

"Hi there..." Bella lovingly whispered, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Welcome to the world... Sarah Elizabeth Black... We've been waiting for you, sweetheart."


	127. Chapter 129

**A/N: Hello everyone! I didn't want to leave you guys too long without another chapter update! There will be two more this weekend. I wanted to say ta huge and heartfelt thank you to all of you! Your support of this story means more than you'll know! Thank you for taking this journey with me :-) Also... special shout out to the last guest review posted just a few minutes ago... Thank you for your kind words... your review made me smile wide! I hope this new chapter finds you well. HAPPY READING! xoxo xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; TWENTY - NINE**

**(BPOV)**

I was stunned into a reverent silence as I studied the angelic features of our sweet Sarah. Her face just as perfect and purely beautiful as I had imagined it would be. I was so in love with her already that it made my heart nearly burst with never ending joy.

How was it possible to love someone so much after you just met them?

I was so wrapped up in her that I hadn't even noticed Emily shouting to Sam or that the commotion around me became chaotic suddenly.

"I need more towels!" Emily yelled to Sam. The tone in her voice making me look away from our precious bundle of joy.

"Em..."

Her eyes were wide with alarm, as she rapidly dumped the remaining contents of her medical bag.

"Emily..." Jacob called out to her. His baritone settling over the room as Sam came running in with two more towels for her, his frantic look startling me enough to have me reaching for Jacob behind me.

"What... what is it... Tell me." I demanded, feeling the exhaustion from delivery begin to pull at me.

"You're okay, Bella..." Emily breathed, her eyes looming with tears when she met Sam's gaze from across the room.

"Samuel... Go look for the ambulance... and hurry. They must be in route here and stuck somewhere with the storm.  
Sam looked as if someone had kicked him when he glanced over to us, his normally clam demeanor slipping when he met my stare.

"Okay... I'm going." He declared.

"I'm coming with you... two are better than one." Seth yelled after him.

I soon felt Jacob shudder behind me, his lips brushing my ear with his soft words of encouragement.

"You're gonna be fine, honey..."

I saw the look Emily threw his way... the look of despair and it was then that it registered to me.

"How much, Emily?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

She shook her head, quickly replacing another towel underneath me, her hands covered up to her forearms in blood... my blood.

"Em... Just tell me..." I hedged, feeling Jacob's whole body go rigid in response to my plea.

"... I - I don't know- Bella... I- ... y-you've lost enough for me to worry... but-"

I sucked in a shaky breath and tried to focus on the blessing laying in my arms, her face angelic in every way.

"Jacob... bring your dad in for me." I asked.

"Bells... honey... we should wait."

"No... I know he wants to meet her. Please..."

I felt Emily cover me better with the quilt laying beside her, and nodded my thanks to her, before Jacobs strained voice called out for Billy.

"Dad..."

Billy was wheeling himself toward us in seconds, his eyes watery while he took in the sight of Sarah laying peacefully on my chest.

"Billy... Would you like to meet your grandchild ... Sarah Elizabeth?"

He let out a sob as I waved him over closer to us.

"...She's... perfect." He whispered in devout reverence.

"She sure is..." Jacob breathed, his own eyes fixated on her.

"I can see the both of you in her." Billy soon added.

I smiled brightly up at him, seeing the immediate adoration in his gaze for her already. I thought of Charlie and my heart painfully clenched.

"Can you try to call dad?" I asked him, seeing him nod to me in reply.

"I have been, dear... and I'll keep trying... Promise."

I laid my head back against Jacob's chest, feeling his hands reach out to steady Sarah for me, as my body began to succumb to the exhaustion that had been tugging at me since Sarah entered this world not long ago.

I wanted to close my eyes... to sleep... but Emily's voice of protest told me I shouldn't.

"Bella... stay awake for me, okay?" She asked, gingerly tucking the yellow blanket further in around Sarah.

No words were spoken, but I could feel the rigidness in Jacob's body as he wrapped his arms around me, his hand coming to softly caress my face while my eyes nearly closed.

"Stay awake, Bella... honey... please-"

His voice was strained... almost frantic... and I caught the way it broke on the last word.

I had to fight this damn pull... I had to stay awake.

Billy's voice was laced with a tangible torment when he soon broke the silence again.

"We have to do something... Waiting on that ambulance will take too, long. Sam's fast... but...-"

"Em..." Jacob whispered. "What else was in that bag."

Emily turned and rummaged through the scattered mess of medical supplies at her feet. Her movements fast and jerky when she suddenly gasped and whipped back around, damn near running to the kitchen and hauling out drawers. I heard the contents of them hit the floor.

She was desperately searching for something...

"Jacob..."

"I'm right here, honey." He assured me.

Emily returned with an empty IV bag in her trembling hands, her face flushed as she continued to rummage through the scattered mess on the floor.

"I know what we can do." She soon declared, dropping to her knees before Jacob and I, as she held up the bag and what appeared to be a central IV line. I recognized it from nursing school and saw her reach for me with a plea in her voice.

"Bella... do you know what blood type you are?" She asked.

I shook my head, momentarily drawing a blank, as she nervously awaited my answer.

"... I think... B positive..."

"You think... or you know? Think hard for me on this, okay?" She pleaded.

I could vaguely remember Renee telling me this when I was just a girl, but I hadn't thought of it sense.

"I'm almost certain."

"Emily what-" Jake began, tightening his hold on me.

"She needs a transfusion Jacob... a blood transfusion. She's... losing blood too fast." Emily replied. "Sue only taught me how to do this once... and it was a few years ago... She always said it would be useful to know if someone ever got in a serious accident on the Res."

"This is true..." Billy confirmed. "Sue had to perform one on an elder once. He would have died without her aid."

"Were you there for this? When she helped him?" Emily asked, her tone growing more desperate now.

"Emily... I was there, but it was fifteen plus years ago... and... I remember Sue telling us the risk of it alone. She told us that it could prove to be fatal if he were to have some kind of reaction to the blood while it was being infused. We were lucky he didn't-"

"I know the risks... Sue told them to me... but she also stated that sometimes the risk is the best option you have and that you should always know the difference. Bella has lost too much blood. A transfusion could save her life, Billy."

I saw her fear and it made me wish I could wrap my arms around her... if I had the strength right now... I would have.

She was my friend... no... she was more than that. Emily Uley was my sister.

"Em- The risk-" Billy added, his tone fierce.

"That ambulance could be stuck miles from here. Sam may be another hour or more before returning and we don't have a guarantee that he'll return with help for her... this is her best chance."

I saw her desperate gaze meet Jacob's as she held up the IV bag again. "She has soaked through three towels-"

"Emily we should wait for the help-"

"Help is not coming, dad." Jacob hoarsely replied, as I reached for his warm hand, slipping my fingers through his, my eyes feeling too heavy to keep open any longer. I tried to focus solely on Sarah, her beautiful face reminding me again of all I had to live for.

I was not leaving this world... not yet.

"You need a viable donor- I'd give her my own blood, but I'm A+... " Billy paused mid - sentence, his gaze briefly wandering over to our mantle, before he looked back to Jacob. "... but... Jacob-... son-... you're blood type is O+... I remember..."

"Billy are you sure?" Emily asked, frantically looking between the two of them.

"Positive." He declared, looking to me with hope alight in his dark eyes. "He is a viable match for her."

"Jacob-" Emily began.

"Take it." Jacob asserted, reaching around me to roll up the sleeve of his flannel shirt. "Take it from me, Emily."

I watched Emily grab his arm, searching for a good vein.

"Son..." Billy suddenly spoke. "You know that a wolf's blood replenishes itself ... just like all of you heal quickly... the blood in your veins will replenish much faster than Bella's... but... you are not invincible and you cannot give to her continuously without draining yourself...-"

"I don't care... Take it, Em." Jacob hedged, moving his arm closer to Emily's reach again.

I felt the horror wash over me from his words.

"No..." I gasped in reply. "You can't-"

"Yes she can-" Jacob asserted, removing my hand from Emily's, in my futile attempt to stop her.

"Emily..." I breathed.

"It's your only chance, Bella." Emily clarified, gently reaching for Sarah and handing her to Jacob. I didn't protest this... I knew she was safer out of my feeble grasp right now. I watched, as Jacob softly kissed her sweet face only once, before handing her off to Billy. The two of them sharing a look that made my looming tears run unabashedly down my face.

"Billy... be sure you keep her wrapped up and warm in that blanket." Emily requested, getting busy with Jacob's arm as she set up the IV bag.

I felt Jacob inch me closer into him, his warmth surrounding me and making the fierce chill that had suddenly invaded my body, feel more tolerable.

"You're shivering, honey..." He whispered, gently placing a kiss to my temple, while Emily cleaned his arm with rubbing alcohol. Her hands steady now despite her wide eyed expression.

It was true... I was shivering from being cold.. but my trembling also came from the intense worry I had for him.

"How fast can Sam get back here?" I meekly asked.

"He'll be back as soon as he can, Bella." Jake replied, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"You... can't do this-" I cried, my emotions becoming raw now.

"Shhh... honey..." He whispered.

"What if I continue to bleed- and Sam doesn't make it back soon enough - and you-"

Emily stilled at my words, her eyes looming with her own emotion.

"I'm not going anywhere, honey... - I promise you."

"You heard what your dad said, Jake-"

"... It will replenish, Bella."

"You don't know that-" I wept. "You don't know that it will replenish fast enough - You can't give-"

"Do it, Em... now." Jake demanded, seeing Emily's sudden hesitation from my words.

I felt my eyes grow even heavier, despite my determination to stay awake.

My body was weakening... my strength diminishing...

Within minutes, I began to fade in and out of consciousness... my body unable to fight back anymore.

I saw Emily's face before me... her words pleading...

"Bella... stay awake!" She begged, her hands cradling my face.

"I can't." I whispered, feeling Jacob pull my body up closer to his again. "I'm sorry."

"Don't close your eyes, honey. Think of Sarah... she needs you, Bella... I need you."

Everything began to fade from me... all the frantic voices... the chaos... Jacobs yelling to Billy... Emily's choked out words of fear...

"Damn it - I can't find a vein."

I caught a final glimpse of the IV bag filling with blood, before my eyes would no longer stay open.

The final words I heard spoken were from Jacob as he cradled me to his chest...

"Take it all... every last ounce if you need it... Save her-"

"Jacob, I can't take more from you than your body has time to replenish! It can be fatal for you-"

"Emily!" He yelled, silencing her argument with his tone. "...Save her... -"

I heard Billy's desperate words next...

"Son... you can't-"

"I will." Jacob firmly replied.

I was vaguely aware of the needle that penetrated my skin before a different voice surrounded me.

Softly spoken words that rang out clear through my mind, reaching somewhere deep within me.

_"Isabella... Fight..."_

I couldn't place a name to the voice, but it was oddly familiar to me. I tried to focus on the sound of it's endearing tone... the way it wrapped around me... reminding me again of all I had to live for.

_"Fight... They need you... Fight hard."_

The voice faded from me then without warning, leaving me desperate to get it back.

Warmth began to spread through me, like someone had wrapped me up in them... Warding off the cold that had tried to claim me.

It was the kind of warmth that left even your soul embraced and I knew where it had come from.

Jacob...


	128. Chapter 130

**A/N: Hello all my awesome readers! I hope your holidays are great! Here's another update! Enjoy and feel free to review! As I always say... HAPPY READING! xoxo xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; THIRTY**

**(JPOV)**

I watched as the blood from my veins flowed into the the IV bag, my chest tight and heavy when Bella became still in my arms, her eyes closing before me.

"Bells..." I pleaded, cradling her to my chest. "Stay awake, honey."

Emily tried to contain her emotions, but began to sob when she finally found a vein in Bella's arm, her hands trembling while she secured the line.

I heard my father's choked words and a wail from Sarah as he helplessly watched on.

"How long will it take? Are we too late?"

"I don't know, Billy..." Emily hesitantly admitted, her dark eyes glued to the blood that began to flow down the IV line and into Bella.

I couldn't breathe... or move... my eyes were transfixed on her face... looking down at the angel in my arms who gave my life any meaning at all.

I hadn't known I was still crying until I saw my tears fall onto Bella's cheek. Her stillness, making me let out a violent sob, as I hauled her further up in my arms, pressing my lips to hers.

"Don't you leave me, Bells... Don't leave us-"

My chest grew tighter as her body remained still in my arms, her face becoming nearly translucent in color now.

I glanced down at the IV, seeing the steady flow of blood run from my body to hers.

I knew the healing abilities my blood held for me, but was uncertain of what it could do for her... if anything at all.

"Dad... Can it heal her? Is it possible?" I asked him through my tears, not willing to take my eyes from her face.

"...Anything is possible, son... Anything-"

His reply was cut short by another cry from Sarah, as Emily rushed to get her a bottle.

"Hear that, honey? She's crying for you, Bells." I breathed, placing another kiss to her forehead.

I was so focused on Bella that I hadn't heard the new commotion in the front room of the house as Paul came running in, his eyes immediately going to Bella in my arms and stopping him dead in his tracks. His face now paling before me when he met my anguished gaze.

"Sam's right behind me, Jake. Maybe a mile out with the ambul-" He paused, nearly choking on his words when he took closer notice of Bella... of how still she was in my arms. "No... No!" He yelled, as he stared helplessly to Emily. "Do something for her!"

"We've done all we can, Paul." Emily sobbed to him in reply. "She lost a lot of blood during delivery... "

Paul sunk down on his knees before me, his eyes looming with angry tears when he looked to the IV bag still filling with my blood.

"It should be working!" He yelled, throwing a desperate and irate glance to my father. "Right?! Our blood-... Jacob's blood should heal her!? It should be replenishing her own by now!?"

"She lost a lot -" Emily breathed, joining us there on the floor, her hands gently sweeping Bella's hair away from her face.

"She's a fighter... She'll fight... she has to-" Paul continued, his words cut off by a loud cry from Sarah, while Billy continued to hold her close.

Paul stood on unsteady legs, as he approached them, his face full of emotion when he slowly reached for her.

"Sarah... Elizabeth..." He breathed in awe, his eyes glued to her like mine had been before.

He kissed her gently before sinking back down to the floor, holding her close to his chest with his tears beginning to fall, as he looked my way.

"Jacob - she's... beautiful-"

I simply nodded to him, feeling too numb to speak or even blink, as I waited for Bella to move in my arms. To show me some kind of sign that the transfusion was working. Her face was so still and so damn pale...

"Bells..." I pleaded with her, listening to the faint beating of her heart. It was weaker than before and I felt my insides begin to shred, as this knowledge registered to me. "It's not working... Em... It's not-"

Emily frantically checked the bag and both IV lines, her face full of an anguish like my own.

"It has to be!" She soon yelled through her tears.

I clung desperately to Bella, my entire body beginning to ache, as her heartbeat continued on in it's weak pace and faulty rhythm.

This wasn't happening...

No...

This couldn't be the end... for her... for us...

I heard Sarah's wailing and it made my heart nearly rip open, as I thought of what it would be like to raise her without Bella... to raise her alone.

All the things she would miss with her...

First steps... First laughs and first words...

My father looked at me with an agonized expression, his gaze looming with his own emotion, as he glanced to the picture of my mother on our mantle.

He knew... just like I did... that she was here with us. I could practically feel her in the room.

I watched his tears fall while he continued to stare at the photo, his lips moving as he said a silent prayer to her.

"Save her, Sarah... I know you're here... I can feel you-... save Bella... make her fight... will her back to us, Sarah... please."

I listened to the beating of her heart, my own breath feeling stolen from my body, while I fearfully waited for it's beat to pick up in pace and strength.

"Bella... I love you... so fucking much... Don't go, honey... Don't leave me here without you." I sobbed over her, pressing my face into her long mahogany locks and breathing her in like she were the very essence of life itself.

... For me... she was.

Slowly... my body began to hurt in a way that told me her strength was weakening still and I wanted to fucking scream ... yell... beg... anything.

Paul was suddenly by my side, his eyes wide and frantic when they looked upon her.

"Bella!" He pleaded. "Sarah needs you... Jacob needs you- Stay here with us. Fight the darkness... just like you told to me to... remember? You told me to fight ... and I did... I came back... and I know you can, too."

His tormented gaze went back to Sarah in his arms as she lay asleep now. Her angelic face mirroring her mother's so much so, that it made my soul fiercely ache. I tightened my hold on Bella, burying my face back into her hair, as my emotions overwhelmed me, causing me to sob in a way that I hadn't since my mother had died.

I wasn't ready to lose her... I would never be ready to lose her...

She would take me with her if she left this earth...

I soon became distraught when I felt a set of hands gingerly touch my back, the gentleness of them eerily familiar in touch, while I clung to Bella.

The hands slowly moved up my back, stilling when they reached my shoulders. I cried all the more when I felt a sudden familiar embrace come from behind me. The comfort of it, making me know who it belonged to immediately, and causing a violent shudder to run up my spine. My soul felt as if it was being forcefully withdrawn from me, as I warded off the thought of my mother's return now being only so she could take Bella back with her.

No...

"Please... don't take her from me." I begged the unseen presence I knew was still lingering behind me. My words sounding choked from my sobs of despair.

It was then that I heard it... the sudden gasp of air that came from Bella. Her eyes flaring open wide, as I pulled back and met her startled gaze.

"Jacob." She breathed to me, her breath raspy as she tried to speak.

Paul nearly jumped to his feet as he handed Sarah back to Billy, his voice quavering when he spoke.

"See... she's a damn fighter..."

I watched in shock as Bella's hand raised to wipe the tears from my face. "I'm here... and I'm not - done fighting."

I pressed her body closer to mine, kissing her as loud voices began to filter in from the kitchen.

"Jake! The ambulance is here!" Billy yelled through tears. "I can see them coming in with Sam right behind them! He found them!"

I let out a sob of relief, seeing Emily hurry out to usher them in. Everything began to whirl around me then, as two paramedics rushed to Bella's aid. Their words quick and demanding to one another, as they pulled her from me. I hesitantly released her, knowing she needed them right now far more than she needed me.

"What happened here?" The first male paramedic asked, seeing the blood and IV line in Bella's arm.

Emily was quick to explain everything to them, while they quickly laid Bella on a stretcher, covering her with more blankets and taking her vitals.

"We were caught in the storm... She delivered here at home... and she lost a lot of blood. We did a transfusion-"

"Real risky." He replied, looking my way. "But you may have just saved her life."

I could only nod while they continued to converse over Bella, gently removing the IV line from us both. Paul handed Sarah off to the second male paramedic, his hands sturdy and cautious with her when he glanced my way.

"She your daughter?" He asked, checking her all over.

"Yes." I forced out, my eyes focused intently on his rapid movements with her and my ears still tuned in to Bella's heartbeat.

It was stronger now... beating with a faster rhythm and more steady.

"She looks real healthy." He offered, swaddling Sarah better in a warmer blanket. "Her color is good and her lungs are clear. We'll take her to the NICU... just as a precautionary."

I nodded, feeling Bella reach for my hand when they carefully lifted the stretcher and wheeled her toward the front door.

"Jacob..."

"I'm going with her." I stated, seeing the recognition on the first paramedics face, as he stopped his ascend for the door.

"Of course." He obliged, tossing a look to his partner, who followed close behind with Sarah. "The winds are still rough out there and our commute back may be slow, but we have the rig set up... they'll both be in good hands... I assure you."

Paul was quick to kiss Bella on the forehead, before pulling me into a tight hug. His body as rigid as mine now from the stress of it all.

"Go be with her, Jake... be with them both. They need you. I'll be right here with your dad... and we'll get word to Charlie as soon as we can. When the storm clears, we'll be sure to come to the hospital."

"Thank you." I offered, releasing him from his tight embrace and kneeling down to hug my father.

"She did good, son... you both did..." He whispered... "I'll be down to see all of you as soon as it's safe. You give her my love?"

"I will, dad." I replied, hugging him tight, before gathering Emily in my arms as she stood next to Sam.

"You saved her life, Em... You saved them both... Sue would be so damn proud of you, hun... Thank you ..."

She cried into my shoulder and eagerly returned my embrace, her words sincere when she spoke. "You're welcome... I- I'm so glad she's okay. Kiss her for me... please."

"I will." I replied, shaking Sam's offered hand and thanking him for finding the ambulance like he did.

He had played a huge part in saving her life as well.

"You let us know if you need anything, Jacob... anything at all." Sam kindly offered, as I headed out the door, where Bella and Sarah were already waiting for me in the back of the ambulance.

The transport to Forks Hospital had been long and treacherous, but Bella remained stable throughout the journey, her hand never leaving mine and her eyes focused intently on Sarah while she slept in my arms.

I forced myself to keep a distance when we arrived in the ambulance bay, the paramedics hurriedly moving Bella into the emergency entrance, where she was quickly surrounded by able Doctors and nurses. I kissed her forehead once, telling her I loved her before they rushed both she and Sarah down the hall.

I saw the lingering eyes of the nurse at the front desk upon me, her gaze looking concerned when she approached me.

"Sir... are you alright? Do you need assistance-"

"No..." I vacantly replied, looking on after Bella, as they wheeled her into a room hidden from my view at the end of the long hospital hallway.

The nurse was diligent to take notice of where my eyes were trained to, and she kindly offered me a place to sit and a cup of warm coffee.

"Is she your wife?" She softly asked, while ushering me to the waiting room.

"... She will be-" I replied, taking a seat and hearing the chaotic chatter the filled the waiting room.

So many were there as a result of the storm... anxiously waiting on their loved ones with baited breath.

A solid hour passed before a familiar face came into view from the waiting room entry way.

Charlie...

I got to my feet as he rushed over to me, his face pale and his eyes glazed over when he reached for me.

"Jake-"

"She's alright, Charlie... they both are." I assured him, as he hauled me into a tight embrace.

I heard his choking gasp of relief at my words, his grip on me holding firm when he replied.

"Billy finally got word out to me at the station. He told me ... what happened. That she went into labor at the house and that-...that she almost-"

"But she didn't... She fought... hard... and she made it, Charlie. They have her now... she's in good hands, dad."

He reluctantly released me, running a hand over his tired face as he sat down with me, both of us now anxiously waiting for a nurse to come get us so we could see them.

"Billy said you gave her your own blood... in an emergency transfusion... that Emily performed?" He asked, apparent disbelief in his tone.

"It was her only option. She lost... a lot of blood, Charlie."

I closed my eyes, drawing in an unsteady breath as the images played out before me. I cringed and felt Charlie put an arm around my shoulders.

"I can't believe you were a match for her-"

"Thankfully-"

"You saved my little girl... again-"

I forced down the lump in my throat, as I thought back to just how lifeless she had appeared back at the house.

"It was close, Charlie...-" I admitted, looking down to the floor as my vision blurred.

"She wouldn't have made it without you, Jacob... How's the baby?"

"Healthy... and perfect."

"Billy says she's absolutely beautiful."

"She is." I declared to him.

Charlie put a solid hand on my arm then, his gaze lingering on mine.

"Nothing like it is there? Holding your little girl in your arms? Gives life a whole new meaning... I know it did for me when Bella was born. I called Renee on the way here... she's get a flight out with Phil as soon as she can."

"I've never known... you could love someone so much... from the moment you laid eyes on them."

Charlie chuckled with a nod, his gaze reflective now.

"I remember that awe struck feeling... I remember it well. I couldn't be happier for the two of you, Jacob. You'll be a great dad and a damn good husband to my little girl."

I heard his voice crack on the last few words, causing my head to turn his way and see the emotion that loomed in his eyes.

"Thank you, Charlie..."

"I mean every word of it, son... every word."

I swallowed hard as we sat back and continued to wait for news on Bella and Sarah. The minutes drew on and my chest grew tight as another hour passed and we still had heard nothing on either of their condition.

"How long should we wait before we ask?" Charlie hedged, with agitation clear in his voice.

"I'm not sure-"

"Mr. Jacob Black?"

Both Charlie and I jumped up from our seat, swiftly approaching the tall red headed nurse who stood with a clipboard in her hand.

"Yes... yes that's me." I confirmed, watching her face light up with a smile as she waved for me to follow her.

"Come with me."

I turned back to Charlie, motioning for him to come with me as well. I knew how badly he needed to see for himself that Bella was indeed alright.

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed-"

"You are." I asserted, explaining how Charlie was Bella's father to the nurse as we walked down the long hallway.

She was accommodating and allowed us both in the room where we were greeted by a male doctor. I could only half listen to what he said as my gaze met Bella's, my hands twitching to touch her before the Doctor could even utter a full sentence.

Her color was good and her smile bright when she saw us.

"We have her on some heavy pain meds right now... she needs them for a few days and we're administering some fluids to her... to replenish her... but her blood volume is back to normal and her vitals are good... especially considering what she's just been through. Most at home and traumatic deliveries like this one... take a heavier toll on mom, but Bella's recovery is ... truly remarkable. I'm a little... uh- perplexed-... to be truthful."

I saw the knowing look on Charlie's face when he kissed Bella's cheek and I had to stifle the grin that threatened to form on my face in response.

The doctor informed us that Sarah was being monitored in the NICU for the rest of the evening, and that they wanted to hold them both overnight for further observation, but that they should be discharged in twenty-four to forty-eight hours, given that no unforeseen complications arise in the meantime.

I drew close to Bella, my hand taking hers, as the Doctor kindly dismissed himself then. I couldn't help but look at her, seeing the color in her cheeks again and marveling at her quick recovery.

Maybe my father had been right all along... Maybe my blood had healed her...

Maybe my mother had been with Bella... Had kept her fighting...

Maybe both... Either way... My soul felt as if it had been put back where it belonged when Bella offered me a heart stopping smile, her chocolate brown eyes alight with joy and love as she whispered to me.

"I love you."


	129. Chapter 131

**A/N: Hello everyone! I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas! I hope you have a blessed holiday with your loved ones! Also... It is time for me to let you all know that this story is drawing to a close. We are down to under ten chapters left! Can you believe it? I hope all of you will stick it out with me till the end and you'll enjoy these last few chapters! Supportive readers like you are the reason I write! You are all awesome! THANK YOU :-) As I always say... HAPPY READING!  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; THIRTY - ONE**

**(BPOV)**

I was still heavily medicated when Jacob and Charlie had come in to see me. Some of my memories were hazy. I couldn't remember much about the ambulance ride to the hospital, nor could I remember a lot about the doctors who rushed in to work on me, but I did recall the frantic voices that surrounded me when they wheeled me into the room. I remember the terror and my fear... for Jacob... for Sarah... for myself.

I was lucky to be alive. The doctor has told us how close it was. He told Jacob that without the at home transfusion Emily had given, I wouldn't be here.

Jacobs blood had saved me ...

Despite all I'd been through, I was feeling surprisingly well and in good spirits now. Charlie had stayed with Jacob and I in the room throughout the nite, and I had been able to visit Sarah in the NICU twice since then. Her color was still good and the nurses were hopeful that after a few more hours of close monitoring, she would be able to come home with us when I was discharged tomorrow morning.

I still couldn't believe she was really here... that I could hold her in my arms... that I was a mom and Jacob was a dad.

Charlie had openly wept the first time he got to hold her and it made me nearly cry from the sight. He was elated and didn't want to give her back to the nurse when they returned for her.

Jacob assured him he would be able to see her again soon and this seemed to ease his overwhelming fears a bit.

Charlie had been reluctant to leave my side for a moment since he arrived... always asking if I needed anything or if I was feeling well. His worry was touching and I couldn't blame him for hovering a little bit... it had been close.

When the nurse instructed him that he couldn't stay another night, he was upset and almost angry to have to go home, but I offered him a tight hug and assured him we would call as soon as we returned home in the morning. He reluctantly obliged and left soon after without putting up too much more of a fuss.

"Think he'll call once he's in the car?" Jake chuckled, propping up my pillows and tucking the heavy blanket in around me.

"Most definitely." I replied, seeing Jake's returning grin as he kissed me on the cheek.

"You gave him... a real scare..." He softly admitted, reaching for my hand. "...gave all of us a real scare, honey."

I heard the fearful tone to his voice and saw his eyes advert mine, as he gazed down to the floor.

He had hardly spoken of it and had tried hard to keep his blank stares from me, but I had noticed the way his eyes would suddenly glaze whenever I held Sarah. I had seen the way he watched me a little closer than before now... if that was even possible.

"I didn't give up-" I sighed to him, placing a kiss to his hand, as a soft knock came to the hospital room door.

"Come in..." Jake replied, seeing a frustrated nurse peek her head in.

"Visiting hours end in thirty - minutes and we usually don't allow people to come in this close to cut off time, but there is a gentlemen at the front desk who will not take no for an answer. Goes by the name of Paul... I threatened to call security, but-."

I stifled a laugh, as Jacob shook his head and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Yeah... he belongs to us-"

"I'll let him in just this once, alright?" The nurse kindly obliged, ushering him in with an exasperated wave.

I smiled widely when Paul stepped through the door, holding a bunch of roses and balloons.

Jacob hugged him and took the many congratulation gifts from his full hands, setting them off in the corner and offering to get him some coffee.

When we were left alone, Pauls entire countenance changed. His smile fading when he met my gaze from across the room, his stance seeming leery to even approach me.

"Hey you... come here-" I hedged, reaching my hand out to him.

He hesitantly walked my way, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his jaw flexing as he tried hard to contain himself, though the emotion swimming in his normally hard gaze, swiftly gave him away.

He cautiously sat down on the edge of the bed, his gaze wandering to the many machines lingering close by.

I caught his hand in mine and inched myself closer to him, despite the soreness in my body.

"... I know I- Should've... come earlier..."

"You're here now." I smiled, seeing him weakly return it, as he reached up and gently touched my cheek with his free hand.

"Your color's back... you look... so much better-"

"Doctor says it's kind of a miracle I'm doing as well as I am... considering-"

I paused when I heard his sharp intake of breath from my words, his jaw flexing again as a lone tear slid down his cheek.

"...Thought you were gone." He forced out, looking away from me. "... when I saw you- like that, Bella-"

He stopped and drew in another sharp breath, his hand running over his face as he shook his head.

"... I fought..." I replied, seeing his head lift when he heard this. "I can't remember everything... but... I remember your words, Paul... I heard you."

He moved himself closer to me then, looking almost scared to reach for me, as if he were afraid it would hurt me somehow.

I took both his hands and tugged him toward me, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You're stuck with me, Paul..." I sighed, feeling his arms cautiously wrap around me in response.

"Good..." He replied, his tone strained. "I don't ever wanna lose you, Bella."

"Stay with me for a while?" I asked, soon motioning for him to sit beside me on the bed, so I could lay back and be a bit more comfortable.

"I'll stay as long as I can."

He sat with me for nearly an hour, despite the nurse getting very impatient with him. Jacob had peaked in on us with Sarah at one point, and Paul's whole focus shifted to her as she let out a small cry.

"Would you like to hold her for a little while before you leave." I offered, taking her from Jacob and seeing his expression of awe.

"If I can-"

"Of course you can. After all... Sarah here needs to get to know her uncle Paul..." I softly replied, placing her carefully in his strong awaiting arms.

Jacob and I watched on as he held her close, his eyes studying her face, and a wide smile forming in response.

"She's... really something..." He whispered, placing a kiss to her forehead.

"Yeah... she is." I agreed, glancing up at Jacob and seeing his own awestruck wander for her.

"So ... you can come home in the morning, right?" Paul hopefully asked, as the nurse reminded him of the time once again.

"First thing... if everything goes well. Sarah is ready and Bella will need more rest, but the doctors are happy with her quick recovery." Jake replied, scooping Sarah back up in his arms, as Paul said his goodbye's to us.

"We'll be anxiously waiting to see you then..."

"Okay." I smiled, squeezing his hand with a wink. "Oh and uh-... by the way- I wish you and Leah all the best, Paul."

He smiled wide at this, his blush evident at the mere mention of her and the sight of it touching my heart for him.

Paul had been through enough heartache and he deserved this happiness now.

"Thank you."

Jacob chuckled and ushered him to the door. "It will all work out... have faith bro."

"I do... and if I ever lose it... I have you two to look at for a good reminder." He replied to us with a wave before disappearing into the dark hospital hallway.

Jacob looked back at me with pure love in his gaze. His response reaching my very soul when he spoke it.

"...Then you'll never lose it... ever..."

I smiled and watched him hand Sarah to the nurse, his sturdy hands cradling her like she were made of blown glass.

Seeing him hold our baby girl made my heart warm in a way I had never known before. It was a feeling of joy I could not describe. To know that our love created this perfect life... for us to raise and teach and grow with... left me with an eternal sense of blessing.

"She looks so much like you..." Jacob whispered, coming to lay in the hospital bed with me.

"I think she's a pretty good mix of the two of us... she has your hair and the shape of your lips..." I admitted, laying my head on his chest.

"True... okay... maybe you're right, honey."

"You can't be very comfortable sleeping in this small bed with me?" I replied, feeling guilty that he were so cramped for space.

"I'm comfortable wherever you are." He replied, drawing me closer to him.

"Sure... you say that now... but when you're so stiff you can't stand in the morning-"

"I can't sleep without you... without touching you... somewhere..." He softly admitted. "So I'll take the stiffness over not having you in my arms at night, any day."

I chuckled and closed my eyes, feeling his fingers run through my hair and be lulled by the beating of his heart under my ear.

"You know... the nurses... they keep referring to you as my wife, honey." He breathed, placing a kiss to the top of my hair. "... and I really like hearing them call you that..."

I heard the genuine joy in his tone and it made me smile up at him in return, my eyes catching the glint of sparkle from Sarah's ring on my hand. I stilled suddenly, seeing it shine and having a vivid memory come to me... a vivid voice... one I hadn't heard since I was a mere child.

I went mute at this, trying hard to recover the memory and struggling to do so.

Jacob took note of my stillness and glanced down at me in concern.

"Hey... honey... you alright?"

I nodded, still focusing intently on the ring.

I had heard her voice... Sarah's voice... I knew I had... I was almost certain...but how?

How could this be possible?

I laid my head back down on Jacob's chest, contented by his embrace and warmth as the memory surrounded me... the voice crystal clear in my mind while I closed my tired eyes.

_"... Fight, Isabella... Fight..."_


	130. Chapter 132

**A/N: Happy Reading and thank you for all of your awesome reviews! xoxo xoxo  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; THIRTY - TWO  
**

**(PPOV)**

I didn't know the first thing about being an uncle, but hearing Bella call me "Uncle Paul" when she handed me Sarah in the hospital room, had secured itself in my mind and heart. The entire drive back home to the cabin was full of my thoughts on how life always seemed to come full circle in one way or another. When Bella first met me, we were less than friendly or even the slightest bit cordial to one another, and now, she was a pivotal part of who I was. In some strange way, she had managed to break through the many walls I'd kept in place for years now. She had made me remember what it felt like to truly care for someone and to have that care returned. I had never been one to place a lot of weight behind the meaning of family, outside of my brothers in the pack of course, but now... it was safe to say that I'd lay my own life out for any of them... especially Sarah.

Her fragile and delicate weight in my arms served as a solid reminder to me just how precious she was. Holding her had truly stirred something in me... an emotion I never really embraced a whole hell of a lot before now... devout care and devotion.

It was easy to see how loved and adored she was already. In all the years I'd known Jacob, I'd never seen him as awe struck as he was now with her. That little girl would have him wrapped around her tiny finger... all her life... I was certain.

The way he looked at her, made me stop and observe it... like it was a show I suddenly couldn't miss a moment of. He was utterly captivated by her. If she made the smallest of sounds, his head would turn toward her.

He was always aware of her... and Bella... looking after them in such a way that I found myself eager to form that kind of bond with Leah. Jacob was a good man... and proving to be one hell of a dad already.

It was no damn secret that my own dad had never won the 'father of the year' award and that my mother was a good mom, but she lacked a lot of the nurturing skills that should accompany such a role. She had always appeared to be too busy for me. Needless to say... I'd never been given a proper example of parenting... and I didn't know the first damn rule of being a half decent role model, but it was something I was willing to learn... For Sarah.

When Bella and Jacob returned home from the hospital, Leah had connected with Emily and thrown together a huge 'welcome home' bash for them... complete with ample amounts of food ... streamers and banners... and many hugs all around.

Leah had been especially determined to make their homecoming one to remember. She had insisted that her mother would have nothing less if she were still here to welcome them home, and this knowledge only drove me harder to help her put it together in any way I could.

The two of us had been a real work in progress lately. She had slowly begun to warm up to me and even though we were still far from settled in with everything, I continued to have high hopes that with some more time we would be okay... more than okay... together. I was eager to get to that point with her... I wanted her to trust me... completely... and to know that I wouldn't hurt or betray her for anything. This took a lot for me... a lot of swallowing my damn pride and ego... but she was well worth it. There had been many nights of long talks... and nights where we shared dinner together... other evenings were filled with a tension from her... one that was easy for me to recognize. Her gaze always gave her away and every time I saw it, I would try even harder to give her the space she needed. This was no easy task for me... it was pure hell sometimes.

When the storm hit, my thoughts were immediately drawn to Bella, knowing how close she was to her due date. Leah had fallen asleep in the hours before the worst of it hit us, but I remained awake and pacing by the front door. I tried to dismiss the feeling of dread that sunk it's way into me when the early morning hours arrived, but I couldn't shake it.

I knew something was wrong, even though it didn't make a damn bit of sense as to why I would feel such a physical ache in my body for her. My senses were screaming at me to go to Jacobs and after I secured the cabin better, I couldn't fight the urge to run to her any longer. It was almost as if my wolf knew something was really wrong... even if the man doubted it... as if I was somehow sensing Jacobs terror for her through our pack connection.

I had tried to call them and was unable to make the connections from the shitty service with the storm. I gave up trying and quickly left a note for Leah before running straight for the forest.

The closer I got to their house... the more the feeling intensified and I knew when my thoughts suddenly connected with Seth's that my instincts hadn't been wrong. She was in serious trouble.

I will never forget the cold feeling that struck me when I ran into their house, beating Sam there by at least a mile... He hadn't been able to keep up with me and told me to go on ahead.

Despite the raging storm... I ran faster than I ever had before.

When I saw Bella lying there on the living room floor, her color as white as snow and the utter despair on Jacobs face... the IV bag filling from his blood... I swore someone had ripped my fucking insides out.

Raw... exposed... terrified... angry.

I had never felt like that before.

She had nearly died right in front of us.

Too close for my liking...

I was a mess on the drive over to see them... I had barely been able to keep my damn shit together when the nurse let me in and Bella had thrown me her classic smile... the one that touched her brown eyes and made them shine all the more... the one that told me she was okay... that she was happy and healthy again.

I knew it made me fucking weak as hell to show that kind of emotion to her, but I didn't care... I had hardly slept a damn wink since the ambulance took her and Sarah away and every time I had managed to close my eyes, even for a little while, the image of her pale and limp body cradled in Jacobs arms would flash before me, making my chest tight with worry for her all over again.

It was suffocating for me and seeing her so full of smiles and color that night in her hospital room, had made the pain in my chest subside.

I had finally seen the proof for myself... with my own two eyes... that she was okay... on the mend.

That had been days ago now and I was happy to see Bella grow stronger with each day that passed. She was still thoroughly exhausted from being a new mom, of course, but she was doing so much better.

Jacob had been burning the candle at both ends the past week, even though Bella's mother had flown in and offered her help with Sarah. He'd been determined to keep up with everything and I had seen it take a heavy toll on him these past few days.

I reminded him just last night, when Leah and I stopped in with Billy to see them all, that he was still just one man... he couldn't do it all... it was fucking impossible.

Sarah was fast asleep on his chest and I observed him with adoration, as he cradled her like she were the very thing he lived for... well... one of them anyway. I studied how small and delicate she appeared in his large hands, and how he looked to be the most content with her this close to him... his face was so full of peace whenever he would gaze down at her, that it made me instinctively toss a glance toward Leah.

She would only smile in return and then look away, and it would only remind me that having one of our own someday wouldn't be possible.

I tried to avoid glances like this, not wanting to hurt her by reminding she couldn't bare children like Emily or Bella had. I knew how much this saddened her. I could see it in her face when she held Sarah or took hold of Levi for Emily. She wanted what they had... she wanted to be a mom.

When we returned home late last night, she had lightly kissed me on the cheek and headed to bed, asking if she could take the couch this time instead of my bed with me. I tried not to show her how it bothered me to have her that far away, even for just seven short hours, but it sucked... hard core.

She had been comfortable to fall asleep with me almost every night, until now and it left me thinking we were going backwards again.

I didn't make a fuss about it, I fixed up the couch and insisted she take my bed... by herself... I chose to let her be... allowing her the space she needed without laying some kind of selfish guilt trip on her in the process.

That would of been the kind of ass move I would've tried in order to get my way before... not now.

When the suns rays broke through the curtains, my eyes were still open and my thoughts were running rampant. I had listened to Leah cry herself to sleep and it was enough to put a solid lump in my throat... it had been torture for me and my hands had twitched to touch her... to soothe her... but I feared she wouldn't want that from me right now, so I forced myself to stay put.

I had paced outside my bedroom door throughout much of the night, my hand reaching for the knob more times than I could count before she had finally drifted off to sleep..

I had tried to respect her wishes and it was proving to be harder for me than I ever thought it would be.

Just as much as she hurt last night... I hurt for her.

I slowly rose up from the couch, hauling up the blankets and putting on a fresh pot of coffee for Leah before heading in for a quick shower. I had patrol to run at noon with Embry and Sam and it was already close to ten.

I was just turning on the hot water when I heard Leah's timid footfalls behind me, her shadow lingering under the door frame as I stilled and waited for her to speak, my ears in tune to her rapid breathing...

She was nervous... afraid... maybe both.

"Paul..."

My hand was unlocking the door before she'd even had the chance to knock, her own hand still raised when I opened it and met her red rimmed gaze. I felt her sadness grip me when she tried to speak again.

"I'm sorry I shut you out... last night. It's not your fault-"

"It's not yours either, Leah." I replied.

She shook her head, her eyes welling up again, as she stared at the floor.

"What purpose do I have if I can't give that to you..."

I reached for her without thought, the despair in her tone making my body move forward.

"You have so much damn purpose..." I replied, feeling her tense when I drew her to me, carefully taking her face in my hands.

"I don't...-" She cried, her tears spilling over with her words now.

"Yes you do, Leah." I breathed to her, my own heart beginning to ache from her despair.

"No - That's the whole damn point of imprinting! Isn't it!?." She sobbed. "It's for you to be able to continue on the bloodline... to secure the future of other wolves... and I can't-"

"That doesn't matter to me." I forced out, as I took her in my arms, my lips seeking hers in an effort to erase her sorrow.

She stilled when my lips touched her own, her body shuddering when I lingered there... so close to her... a mere breath away.

I captured her lips again, pulling her body against mine and hearing the soft whimper that escaped her in response.

Her hands trembled when they touched my bare chest, her tears still falling when I deepened the kiss and cradled her face, my whispered words to her never more true.

"You were meant to be mine, Leah... every broken piece of you... belongs with me..."

She let out a strangled sob before I could claim her lips again. My hands quickly roaming to her night shirt as she pressed herself desperately to me... like she needed me to fix her in this moment... to make her forget her sadness...

I felt her tongue sweep mine as a needy moan left her parted lips, her arms wrapping around my neck as my hands roamed up her backside, stilling at her hips and moving to the front of her, where my fingers slowly dipped down between her legs. I felt her body shudder as my fingers carefully explored her, noticing how wet she was for me already. The very feel of her slick folds beneath my fingertips making me instantly rock hard for her. I ripped the buttons from her night shirt in one firm tug, her bare breasts filling my hands, as I kissed her thoroughly. She was quick to reach for my jeans, nimbly undoing them with a moan as I stepped out of them, and pulled her body flush to mine. Her bare skin feeling like silk against my own.

I hauled her up in my arms, feeling her wrap her long legs around my waist, while I took her into the warm shower with me, pressing her against the wall. She clung to me like a lifeline as I slid slowly into her, sheathing myself to the damn hilt, and seeing her eyes roll into the back of her head. Her slick seam wrapped so tightly around me, that it caused a ragged groan to leave me.

Never had I felt someone fit with me this way...

She was made for me... and no one else.

I slid in and out of her with slow deliberate strokes, relishing how perfect she was and feeling her quiver around me, as her body molded to mine. She was nearly weightless in my arms and I marveled at how gorgeous she was. Her tanned skin dripping wet, her face flush with vivid color... her full breasts bouncing and her soft lips parted while she panted my name.

"Paul... oh-..."

"I want every single piece of you, Leah." I admitted in reply, hoisting her further up into my arms as her eyes closed and her head tilted back, caught up in her own erotic high.

She held me tighter as my thrusts went deeper and deeper, her moans soon becoming cries of pleasure that filled the small confines of my quaint cabin.

It was the best damn sound I'd ever heard...

I never wanted to stop hearing it...

Fuck... what she did to me...

I felt her body shudder with her approaching climax as she cried out my name over and over... every thrust pulling it from her like a prayer...

"Leah..." I groaned, feeling her legs tremble around me.

I felt her nails scrape harshly down my back as she contracted hard around me, her muscles tightening and her breath appearing stolen from her, while she rode out the high of her first release.

The water soon ran cool and I was quick to turn it off, carefully breaking our intimate contact, as I carried her into my room. Her back arched when I laid her beneath me, kissing her neck and working my way down, my tongue soon circling her pert nipple, drawing it into my mouth and relishing the sound that came from her in response. My mouth trailed down the center of her abdomen, until my hands gripped her thighs, spreading them wider for me as I began to taste her arousal, feeling her hot flesh under my tongue and making me drunk on her from it's taste.

She whimpered, her body writhing and her heart pounding.

"Fuck... Leah..." I cussed, as she gripped the bed sheets. My tongue flicked and stroked her sensitive flesh, feeling her wet folds glide under my tongue, until her back arched again, her climax so forceful this time that her entire body jerked.

"Please Paul... Please..." She breathlessly begged me.

I inched her body down further, drawing up on my knees and easing back into her. She moaned with satisfaction as I began to move, my thrusts going deep and her cries louder now.

Her lips soon sought mine in a hungry kiss as I firmly kneaded her breasts. Her command was strangled and breathy when she spoke it to me.

"Harder...Paul... Harder..."

My gaze met hers once before I gave her what she asked of me. Her eyes were locked on mine, as I pulled back just enough to spread her legs wider. She eyed me with reverence as I pounded into her, my eyes focused solely on her beautiful face, intently watching to be certain she felt no sting of pain ... only pleasure.

"Oh, god...yes... yes... Paul... yes."

I became lost in her... literally absorbing no other sensation than just her... how tightly she was wrapped around me... how her fingers laced with mine.

I trailed my free hand down between her legs, seeing her body spasm when my thumb circled the swollen nub that sent her spiraling into another climax. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she writhed and cried out, my body becoming rigid as my own release began to take hold.

I tried to fight it off as long as I could, wanting to satisfy her fully before giving in to my own needs. Leah reached for me, pulling me close to her as her lips settled by my ear, her words making me fucking explode.

"I will give you everything... every piece of me-... belongs to you, Paul... only you."

I pulled her body flush to mine with a final thrust, pouring myself into her as she clung to me.

"Leah..."

Her name fell reverently from my lips, as I held her trembling body to mine. Her fingers running through my hair when she cradled my head to her chest. The sound of her rapid heartbeat, soothing all on it's own.

I laid there with her, feeling sated and whole. It was a feeling of contentment I never wanted to let go of.

Leah and I had found where we truly belonged... and that was with each other... broken pieces and all.


	131. Chapter 133

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of The Twilight Saga series... any and all recognizable content/characters belong to and are the sole property of the great and talented Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: Thank you all for your kind reviews. xoxo xoxo. I have truly loved this journey with you.  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; THIRTY - THREE**

**(BPOV)**

I had never known it was possible for someone to stay awake for as long as I had...

Twenty - one hours of no rest had proven to due me in. Sarah had done well the first week at home. She slept and nursed well, and was easily adjusting to all the attention from everyone who stopped in to visit. Seth was still staying with us, and even he had been a big help with her, always offering to get her something if needed.

Billy and Charlie, along with my mother, had been over so much that they were practically living with us now. Each morning they would come over with donuts for breakfast and hot coffee for Jake and I. It was kind and helpful, and I could see just how much they all loved little Sarah. Billy had become emotional almost every time Jacob would hand Sarah over to him. He would look down at her with such awe that I would find it nearly impossible to take my gaze from them.

Charlie and my mother were just as smitten with her themselves. They were always watching her... fixing her blanket or commenting on how beautiful she was, and while I was exceedingly grateful for their company and offered support, I was truthfully beginning to feel overwhelmed with it all.

Jacob had been amazing with Sarah. He had helped me in any way he could, even walking the floors with her at night when she struggled to fall back to sleep. I had noticed how his touch would soothe her much in the same way it had always soothed me. My heart swelled with joy every time I saw him hold her. He was so careful with her and attentive... He was truly a natural. Like he knew what she needed before she even needed it. His nurturing abilities and warm voice, made the adjustment to home even easier for Sarah. She slept the best when in his arms... she hardly stirred when he would place her on his chest, one hand always cradling her to him. I would sit and watch him with her for minutes on end, seeing the bright smile he would flash her way the moment she gazed up at him. Every once in a while, I would catch him looking at the photo of his mother on our mantle, and his gaze would return to little Sarah with such love that my heart would nearly shatter at the sight of it.

Jacob was so many things... He was a son... a loyal friend, brother and companion... a fearless leader to his pack and protector of his land... but he was also always meant to be a dad.

The way Sarah fit with him was so natural and breathtaking... like she was the very piece of him that had been missing until now.

The past few days had been filled with so many heartwarming moments like this, but then there were times when I would feel like falling apart and not understand why.

Today was one of those days...

I hadn't been able to get a full nights rest in nearly a week and today was unfortunately feeling as if it would never end. Sarah had suddenly become very fussy lately. She had been awake on and off throughout much of the night. I hadn't been producing enough milk to keep her full and it made me feel horrible as a new mom.

How could I fail my own daughter who needed my nourishment?

Being a new mom was proving to be so much harder than I thought. I felt like there wasn't enough of me to properly take care of her. It was a suffocating feeling and I didn't know how to handle it.

I tried to calm my emotions as the tedious day wore on, but they got the better of me when we were having a late breakfast. Charlie had seen the defeated look on my face as Sarah let out another wale from the nursery. Jacob was quick to tend to her, and it broke my heart to know I would have to switch to formula so soon. Jake handed Sarah to me and grabbed the keys from the counter, his concern for her clear in his tone when he spoke.

"She needs formula, honey. I'll be back with some for her." He offered, kissing me on the forehead and gently touching Sarah's cheek before he left.

I was devastated by this and it was clear to Billy, who moved in closer to me after Jake left, just how upset I was, his hand taking mine in assurance.

"Don't be sad, dear. I remember when my Sarah struggled with the same thing after Jacob was first born."

"I can't keep her full..." I sighed, trying to soothe her.

"It's okay Bella... She can have formula." Renee added. "You were on formula after only a few short weeks."

"You're a new mom, Bella... Takes time for these things... you'll get it." Charlie offered up.

"She's hungry... now ..." I snapped, not meaning to be so harsh with him.

I immediately apologized for my rudeness and took Sarah with me into the nursery, rocking her until she fell back to sleep.

I was a mess... emotionally and physically... my hair pulled up into a high messy bun on top of my head and my eyes tired. My clothes consisted of nothing but Jacobs sweats these days, and I was in desperate need of a warm shower.

I could hear Charlie talking to Billy and Renee from the living room when Jacob returned with the formula. I was on the verge of tears when I heard him kindly ask them all to leave. He had told them I needed some rest and they were more than understanding, but I felt awful for the way I had spoken to Charlie. He didn't deserve my rudeness. Sarah began to wake and fuss again when the door closed behind them and I couldn't help but cry right along with her.

I was supposed to be able to give her what she needed... and I couldn't.

When Jacob came in with a warm bottle for her a short time later, I was relieved and ashamed at the same time. I stood and handed her to him, unable to even meet his concerned gaze. I quickly kissed Sarah and left her in Jacobs care so he could give her the warm bottle.

"Bells... honey..." Jacob sighed, reaching for me before I left the room. I gently shrugged out of his grasp as my tears spilled over.

I felt like an absolute failure as a mom... already. What the hell was wrong with me?

I shut myself in the bathroom, drawing a hot bath and needing just a few moments alone, as my sadness overwhelmed me there. When the bath was full, I sunk down into the water and sobbed, wishing I was more like Emily. She had breastfed Levi for months and I couldn't even handle days of it. I knew I was feeling sorry for myself, but I couldn't stop my tears. My emotions had felt raw lately and this just proved to push me over the edge.

Mothers should be able to nurse their own children... what kind of parent was I?

I settled myself further down into the water, bringing my knees up to my chest and pondering how wonderful Emily was as a mom. It seemed to just come so natural to her... I wished it was that way for me now.

I placed my face in my hands as my tears fell.

This was too much...

Why was I feeling so raw like this?

I should be elated... I just had the most precious little girl...

The sudden feel of a warm hand on my arm made me lift my head, seeing Jacob knelt down by the tub, his eyes full of understanding and love when they searched mine. I had been so preoccupied in my thoughts and emotions, that I hadn't even heard him come in.

"She's back to sleep, honey." He whispered, his thumb catching another tear as it fell.

Words escaped me when he suddenly stood and stripped down, tossing his clothes into the corner of the bathroom and climbing into the tub with me, his arms gathering me to him as he sunk down into the water.

I took comfort in his strong embrace, feeling his warmth wrap around me as he pulled me back into his chest.

"... I'm supposed to be able to give her what she needs-" I cried to him. "What kind of mother can't do that for her child?"

Jacob placed his chin on my shoulder as I stilled in his arms. The comfort of his presence making my emotions feel less raw now.

"You're a great mom, honey." He whispered. "I'm sure lots of new moms go through this... There's nothing wrong with having her on formula."

"But it's better for her to be on breast milk, Jacob." I sighed.

"We'll talk to the pediatrician tomorrow... her first wellness check is in the afternoon... we'll see what they recommend."

I nodded, feeling his hands take mine under the water.

"You're exhausted, sweetheart. You haven't slept in hours... don't be so hard on yourself."

I laid my head back against his chest, basking in his warmth and feeling some of the tension slowly leave my body.

"Sarah won't sleep for more than another hour. You know this..."

"I will take care of her when she wakes up, honey." He assured me, his tone full of such adoration for her.

"I snapped at Charlie." I shamefully admitted.

"I know... and he knows you didn't mean it..."

"It was rude of me-"

"You're a new mom, honey... I'm sure your dad remembers what it was like when Renee first had you. Give him some more credit. He'll be understanding."

"... I don't feel like me, Jacob..." I softly admitted to him, feeling him tighten his arms around me at my words.

"Your body went through a lot with her, honey. You need time to rest and recover... you can't run on empty like this... let me take over for a while."

"That's not fair to you." I protested.

"Yes it is... We're a team... remember?"

I swallowed hard at this, feeling the water turn cold as Jacob began to wash my back. His hands gentle and caressing.

When the water became too frigid to stand, and I was cleaned up, we drained the tub and Jacob fetched me another clean set of his sweats.

I gingerly took them from him, feeling so exhausted, I could hardly dress.

"I just wanna sleep..." I sighed, as he helped me into the oversized sweatshirt and pants.

They smelled just like him and I found that wearing them made me feel better... as odd as that sounded.

"I have to say honey... those look a lot better on you than myself." He chuckled, while tucking me into our bed.

"You're just being nice..." I sighed, gazing up into the warmest brown eyes I'd ever seen... the eyes that held my soul in them...

"Get some rest, honey. I'll wake you for dinner."

"Dinner?" I asked, laying my head in his lap with a yawn. "What are you ordering?"

"I'm cooking... for you..."

I peaked up at him in disbelief, seeing the adorable crooked grin he wore when he noticed my shocked expression.

"You're... cooking?"

"Trust me... it's an old recipe of my moms and you'll love it." He genuinely replied as my eyes closed.

"I love you Jacob Ephraim."

"I love you more..." He sighed, placing a soft kiss to my temple.

I couldn't fight my exhaustion any longer and was soon fast asleep.


	132. Chapter 134

**A/N: We're coming to an end dear readers! It has been an amazing journey and I love you all! xoxo xoxo Thank you for your many awesome reviews! HAPPY READING!  
**

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; THIRTY - FOUR**

**(JPOV)**

My eyes were fixed on Sarah as she slept peacefully in my arms. Her face awash with contentment there. I had never been happier or more in love. I felt as if I was riding a high that would never quit. No matter how tired or sleep deprived I was... I wanted to be near her... to hold her... or even just stare at her. She was the perfect mix of Bella and I... from her dimples, to her dark hair and long little fingers... nothing about her was imperfect.

The state of bliss felt almost euphoric for me... as if I was secretly anticipating for the other shoe to drop and bring me harshly back down to reality... only the shoe never came.

My only real concern now was Bella and her disposition lately. I had noticed how on edge she appeared over the last month and it concerned me. Ever since she stopped breast feeding Sarah and we switched her to formula, she had been so up and down with her moods. One minute she would cry over seemingly nothing and the next she would be laughing and smiling from ear to ear. It was maddening for me to keep her straight. We were usually so in tune with one another, but lately I had trouble knowing from one morning to the next whether or not she would even want breakfast with us.

Last night had been the worst for her. Renee, Charlie and Billy had come by with dinner they had ordered from the local diner and when they showed up with bags full of food for us, Bella abruptly handed me Sarah and walked away from them... without even so much as a proper greeting. I apologized for her rudeness and set the table for us while Renee held Sarah, her eyes meeting mine with evident concern, as she whispered her worry to Charlie.

"She needs to see someone..."

"I've tried that..." I admitted, handing charlie his plate. "She won't hear of it."

"Well she needs to see the doctor. She hasn't been herself in weeks, Jacob."

I nodded, glancing toward our closed bedroom door and knowing he was right. Bella wasn't herself... she hadn't been.

"Maybe if I talk to her-" Renee offered.

"... No... Renee... You tried that last week and it didn't end so well... Remember?"

Renee nodded to him, her sorrow clearly etched in her face, as she sat down in the living room with Sarah.

Billy placed a hand on my arm and offered his own heartfelt advice.

"Your mother never went through anything like this son... I wish I had more to say, but... you need to get her to see someone... a counselor even... the poor girl is clearly struggling these days."

"I know." I replied, fixing Bella a plate and heading toward our room to try and coax her into joining us... something I never used to need to do.

I lightly tapped on the door, hearing her feet shuffle over when she cracked it open and peered out at me. Her demeanor, small and childlike, when she wrapped her arms around herself... it was something I hadn't seen her do in a long time and it made my heart clench to see now.

"Come eat with us, honey..." I softly asked, seeing her look away from me and try to close the door dismissively.

I was quick to catch it, holding it open and forcing my way in. She took a step away from me, and became agitated at my sudden intrusion.

"I don't want to eat."

"Bella..."

"I'm not hungry..."

"You haven't eaten all day... I tried to get you to eat breakfast and you refused. You need something... please... for me?"

I saw her raise her head and lock eyes with me, no doubt hearing the desperation in my tone to her now.

"I'm sorry... but ... join them without me." She replied, turning away from me.

I caught her hand in mine, spinning her back around as she glared at me. Her anger taking me back.

"You can't keep doing this!" I asserted, my tone elevated out of frustration. "You're losing weight... you need your strength. For Sarah..."

She laughed... the sound cold and bitter when it left her and making my eyes narrow, as she began to raise her voice to me.

"Yeah... She doesn't need me for nourishment, Jacob... not anymore... I don't think she really needs me for anything."

I took hold of her by the shoulders then, physically trying to shake some sense into her.

"She does need you! Stop saying things like that!"

She harshly pulled away from me, her eyes wide with anger as she turned away.

I tried to give her the plate of food, further pushing her to get the hell out of this room and to join us for dinner.

"Everyone's waiting-" I hedged.

"I don't give a shit!" She yelled, whirling abruptly and hitting the plate out of my hand. It smashed to the floor, scattering it's contents abroad.

"Isabella Marie!" Charlie then yelled, as he ran in and saw the mess. I placed a firm hand on his chest, meeting Bella's heated gaze from across the room and moving him back so I could clean up the many shards of glass from the broken plate.

"Charlie... I got this... go eat...it's alright." I assured him.

He hesitantly did as I requested and I got busy cleaning up the mess. It wasn't long before Bella was knelt down with me, her hands shaking when she reached for a shard of glass to retrieve from the floor. I caught her hand firmly in mine, seeing her anger fade into sadness when her eyes peered up at me.

"Don't..." I whispered to her. "You could get cut... I can make you another plate-"

"I don't want it."

"Bella...-"

"I said no!" She yelled, retreating further away from me. "For shits sake! Just leave me the hell alone, Jacob."

I bit my tongue, forcing back the heated and biting reply that wanted to leave me in response to her angered remark. She had never spoken to me like that and it left me rattled and angry. Truth was... she hadn't even let me touch her physically in weeks... since Sarah was born. I knew there was a waiting game... a period of time recommended by the doctor for her to heal... but we had reached that period of time last week and she still shied away from any form of physical affection with me. Bella had always craved closeness ... until now. She would rarely reach for my hand or let me hold her at night. As hard as it was for me... I had respected this from her... I had diligently tried not to push her on it, but it was quickly becoming more than I could stand.

I had grown desperate enough at this point to scour the internet... searching for signs of postpartum depression and writing them all down on a piece of paper. After doing some serious research well into the early hours of damn dawn... I realized that Bella had nearly all of them.

I called Emily out of desperation after learning this and spilled my guts to her. Even she had reached out to Bella. She had taken an afternoon and sat with her, just last week, telling her all about how overwhelmed she felt too after Levi was first born. The long discussion had been helpful and Bella seemed to come back around to her old self the few days following it... but it had proven to be short lived and left me even more desperate to help her. Renee was my next option and when she tried to talk to Bella, things got truly ugly. Bella lashed out at her, saying hurtful things to Renee about the kind of mother she had been to her... accusing her of being self centered and immature. It made me wince to hear, knowing Bella didn't mean what she said in the moment. Renee had tried to calm her down and get her to see reason, but Bella refused and then accused her of only trying to make up for leaving Charlie all those years ago. The harsh accusation had been heard by everyone in our house at the time... Sam, Emily, Seth, Leah and Paul... and Charlie and Renee, of course... Charlie looked pale as he met my gaze, his eyes filling with regret when he reached out and guided Renee out of the house, before her own emotions from the verbal lashing could overwhelm her.

Everyone had left after that, all but Seth and Paul... They had stayed.

Paul had sent Leah home to his cabin with a kiss goodbye and Seth had retreated to the living room to stock the fire. The tension was rife and Paul seemed as worried for Bella as I was now.

"We have to do something, Jake. I've never heard her so-"

"Angry... Bitter?"

"Yeah..." He sighed, running a tired hand over his face.

"I don't know what to do-" I regretfully admitted, avoiding his gaze and feeling like a damn fool.

"Can I talk to her?" He meekly asked, his eyes sincere with genuine care for her.

"... I don't think-"

"It's worth a shot... we both know I can take whatever insult she throws my way-"

I nodded, knowing full well he was right and gestured for him to go to her. He patted my shoulder as he headed for the hall, his steps slow and deliberate with purpose, while Seth and I waited.

I listened to his knuckles tap on the wood of the door, hearing the near weightless footfalls that soon came to answer his knock.

"Paul... wh-" Bella began, her tone already sounding irritated to me.

"Let me in... I wanna talk to you."

She sighed heavily but did eventually let him in and I was stunned when a full hour had come to pass ... without any yelling to be heard.

Paul had somehow managed to get through to her that night and when she emerged from the room a short while later, she hugged him goodbye and he nodded my way, before grabbing Seth and abruptly leaving with him. I didn't question his motive or intent, I knew this was his way of giving us time to talk. Sarah was fast asleep and the house was empty now.

Bella gingerly sat down at the opposite end of the couch and I hated that she was that far away from me, her eyes red rimmed and her expression full of immense shame. I watched her closely, seeing her huddle in on herself in a way that had my skin crawling.

She used to do the same thing years ago... when she was broken...

I had put her back together once... piece by piece... and I would do it again if I had to... Love was selfless like that... and I loved her with all of me.

She stared blankly into the fire, her eyes transfixed there, as she slowly pulled her knees up to her chest.

"I'm sorry." She soon whispered, glancing my way in shame. "... I... don't know what's wrong with me."

She sounded so hurt that I found myself moving closer to her, my hand reaching for her own.

"It's okay, honey."

She shook her head, avoiding my gaze while my fingers slowly threaded through hers. "I've been ... awful... to you... and said horrible things to mom."

She visibly winced when she said this and I moved even closer to her in response.

"You didn't mean what you said-"

"I shouldn't have said it to begin with. After all she has done for me... staying out here a whole month longer than planned and this is how I thank her?" She cried. "What the hell kind of person does that... you must think I'm horrible... I'm so sorry... What's wrong with me, Jacob? I feel like I'm losing my mind."

She placed her head on my shoulder, burying her face into my neck as she cried. I pulled her into my lap, feeling the weight of her in my arms for the first time in weeks and savoring the closeness with her. For I feared it would be short lived. She wrapped her arms around my neck, placing her head on my chest and growing silent while I held her.

"I've missed you, honey..." I quietly admitted, as she huddled herself closer to me... "I wanna help you with this... but you have to let me in, sweetheart... you have to talk to me... let me know what you're feeling..."

"I don't know what I'm feeling these days. One minute... I'm elated and the next I'm angry... or sad... depressed... It changes... all the time. I feel... uncomfortable in my own skin."

I nodded, remembering some of the information I had read online a few nights ago, and wanting to tell her without driving her away from me again.

"I looked something up online... a few nights ago... When Sarah was struggling to go back to sleep..."

She stilled in my arms upon hearing this, her head raising so we were eye level now. "... you did?"

"I'm worried for you, honey..." I sighed, moving a stray lock of hair away from her face.

"What did you find out?" She softly asked.

"Based on what I read... and I know I'm the furthest thing from a doctor... but... I think you have what's known as postpartum depression."

I saw her face fall in response.

"I've heard of it..."

"Than you know it's very common and also treatable, honey."

"I don't wanna be someone on meds all the time, Jacob."

"You won't need to be... just... make an appointment with your doctor and we can go in together and talk to them about this. They can help you honey... Clearly... I can't-" I sighed in defeat, as she placed her head under my chin.

"You do help me Jacob... more than you know... please don't feel that way."

I closed my eyes and held her close, trying to diffuse the feeling of not being able to fix this for her. It drove me fucking crazy.

"Bells... please honey... go see the doctor. I'll go with you." I begged her, not above it now.

"... you'll really go? Even after I was so rude-"

"Of course I'll go." I interjected, running my fingers through her hair, as she relaxed further into my arms. "I'll be there..."

She nodded against my chest, and I sighed in relief.

"Promise?" I hedged, waiting to hear her say it in return.

"I promise."

The silence was interrupted by a soft cry from Sarah and before I could offer to get her, Bella was up and headed for the nursery. I followed her, seeing her pick her up and kiss her on the cheek, her eyes misty when she spoke.

"I'll call in the morning..."

"Okay honey..."

I made Sarah a bottle and draped a blanket over them both, as Bella rocked her back to sleep, her own eyes growing heavy not long after she laid Sarah back down in her crib. I laid in our bed, waiting and soon watching her brush out her long locks before she dressed. She caught me staring and a vivid blush touched her cheeks in response.

"What?" She timidly asked, curious as to what had caught my immediate attention.

I smiled warmly to her, hearing the change in her heartbeat, as it began to race while she awaited my reply.

"... I still make you nervous..." I softly stated, seeing her retreat to her side of the bed with her blush still in place.

"Maybe..." She admitted.

I caught her hand as she turned down the quilt, her heart continuing to race even more from my touch.

"You still take my breath away, Bells..."

She looked at me with disbelief, her eyes meeting mine as I drew her closer to me, hoping she wouldn't pull away this time.

"That's not possible..." She sighed.

"You're wrong, honey..." I breathed against her parted lips. "That won't ever change..."

She drew back, her eyes roaming over my bare chest before tucking herself under the covers. "Don't lie, Jacob."

I heard the insecurity laced in her tone and reached for her, effectively stopping her from pulling away any further.

"Bells... I'm not lying."

She stilled at my words, her fingertips languidly trailing down my chest. She felt the slight tremble under her palm... from just her soft touch and she met my sincere gaze, her eyes searching mine when she spoke.

"I've missed your touch, Jacob..." She softly admitted, as my hands slid up her night shirt, feeling her soft skin. Her lips were a mere breath away when my fingertips grazed her pert nipple, causing her to whimper as I slowly drew her lips to mine.

When my tongue met hers, she let out a needy moan that made me grow impossibly hard for her. I felt her straddle me, her hands in my hair and her body pressed to mine the way it should be... the way it always should be.


	133. Chapter 135

**CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED &amp; THIRTY - FIVE**

**_Three Months Later..._**

**(BPOV)**

I had kept my word to Jacob...I had gone to the Doctors to seek proper treatment and they had quickly put me on a dose of antidepressants. The dose had proven to be helpful but too high and it left me groggy for days on end at first. Jacob had been my solid rock. He had taken over with Sarah when I'd needed him most and he had gone to every appointment with me, his hand never leaving mine in the doctors office. His love, support and endless encouragement had been what helped me most. I was truly humbled by the outpouring of support from the pack and from Emily. She had come over and cooked for us more times than I could count and she was always offering to help with Sarah. Her help had been a true gift for us.

Charlie and Billy had done their fair share of encouraging, too. Billy was always trying to get me to laugh by telling one of his famous jokes and I had to admit... hearing them did usually bring a smile to my face. My mother had chosen to head back to Florida on an early flight and I was fortunately able to make a proper mends with her before she left. We were okay and back on amicable speaking terms. I was grateful for her forgiveness. Jacob had taken her to the airport and had wished her well upon her departure.

The next several weeks proved to be very harrowing for us. There were many nights I couldn't sleep and days that my eyes were too damn heavy to keep open. Jacob had asked Sam to step in for some of his patrol shifts so he could stay home with me and tend to our Sarah. He diligently took care of things and I loved him endlessly for his devotion to me through this. There were many bitter days I would lash out and say things I didn't mean... things that were so far out of my character that it would shock me into a fit of tears the moment the cruel words left my mouth. Jacob never raised his voice to me in retaliation or held it against me... though he certainly had enough reason to do so. He had proven to hold the both of us together when I felt as if I was falling the hell apart. Simple tasks became hard for me to complete anymore and I had thrown my prescription in the trash once out of anger. Jacob had fetched it out, taking me in his arms and calling the doctor to insist they see me again and lower my dose to a more functional one. I had cried on him... screamed at him... picked many needless fights with him... lashed out without warrant and yet still... he remained to be my Jacob. No matter how hard the days were in the meantime, he would always take my hand and ask me to come to bed with him, after Sarah was settled in for the night. On one particularly difficult evening, I had wanted to be alone and he had tried to respect my wishes, but when I woke up in the middle of the night to find him sleeping on the floor by the couch where I had slept, it broke me and I crawled down there with him. After all I had put him through that night, I had half expected him to push me away, but he didn't, instead he wrapped his arms around me and whispered... "It's okay honey... You're still my Bells."

These few simple words secured themselves in my mind and I would cling to them when I felt like a foreigner in my own skin. These words from him kept me grounded.

I struggled to be as close to him as I was before and it bothered me greatly. It had been weeks since we'd made love. I tried... more than once to stop my maddening thoughts, but truthfully, my sex drive had waned since having Sarah and this had me concerned for us. Jacob had done well to be patient with me, but there were times I would see the longing in his dark gaze, and I felt horrible for not being able to fulfill his needs right now.

Postpartum Depression had ransacked my everyday life and I was beginning to think I would always feel disconnected. When those feelings crept in, Jacob would sense it, he would take notice of how I withdrew into myself and he would whisper the same words to me... "It's okay honey... You're still my Bells."

I desperately wanted to be me again and slowly but surely, over the course of the next month, the dose of my medication was better regulated and I began to get back into a healthy and normal routine. Jacob was even able to return to his normal pack schedule and it felt good to be able to handle Sarah's care all on my own now. Seth had been a gem as well through all this. He had developed his own special bond during this time with our little Sarah. He would rock her to sleep on the nights when my exhaustion would get the better of me and Jacob was out on patrol. I had seen the change in him since living with us and it made my heart warm. He was thriving here in our home and he had grown so close to me... like the little brother I never had. He had truly become an intricate part of our family unit ... right up until he met a certain man... the one who changed everything for Seth.

Liam Dewan was Embrys third cousin from North Carolina, and he had shown up on the Reservation without warning, making his presence known for the first time when he arrived with Embry at Sam and Emilys dinner party a month ago. He was tall, tanned, well dressed and strikingly handsome, his broad stature was uncanny to the pack and when he firmly shook Jacobs hand, he appeared as if he belonged with them already... like he fit right in. Jacob looked dumbfounded as Liam sat down at the table with us to have dinner. The resemblance between them all was almost unnerving.

There was much laughter and conversation throughout the night. Seth had arrived to the dinner later and when he walked in, Liam stopped talking, leaving his previous chat with Sam to be abandoned, and gazing over to Seth, who looked as awe struck as he was in the moment. Seth's hands were shaking, and his palms were sweaty when he took his seat next to me. I told him who Liam was and all he could manage was a nod to me in return. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, seeing how nervous he was, and trying to offer him some support. The fun carried on well past midnight and when Liam later boldly approached Seth, reaching out to shake his hand and properly introduce himself, Jacob became even more observant of him. It was clear he was leery of Liam's sudden interest in Seth... given they had just met moments ago.

As the night wore on, the two of them shared stories and Seth laughed in a way I hadn't heard before... it was a warm and hearty laughter... and it was a true smile that lit up his face. When it was time to leave, I noticed Liam linger near Seth before hugging him. Seth returned the embrace without hesitation and soon left with us. He was silent on the drive home and turned in for the night quickly after, without offering us any further insight into what exactly had transpired between the fast friends. It wasn't until Seth returned home from patrol the following evening that I saw his fear unfold. He was full of panic when he came running into the house, his eyes wide and glossy when they met mine. I had been cooking and dropped everything to tend to him. That's when he told me he had imprinted on Liam when he met up with Embry for his scheduled run. As it turns out, Embry had brought Liam along and when Seth saw him again... his universe shifted before him.

"Everyone will know the truth now, Bella." Seth sighed, his emotion raw in his tone with me.

"... and they will love you anyway." I assured him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"They could hate me... or banish me?"

"Jacob would never let that happen, Seth."

He was terrified and I did my best to make sure he knew he would be okay and that we would always love him... no matter who he loved.

When Jacob arrived back home sometime later... Seth was still a nervous wreck.

"Come with me, bro." Jacob offered, wrapping an arm around Seths shaking shoulders.

The look they shared had my eyes welling with emotion. It was a look of devout trust and brotherhood. A look that said Jacob would have his back through this and he would be sure that Seth was treated with respect, and that cruelty and hatred would not be tolerated... from anyone.

I waited up for them to return and was relieved when Jacob came back alone... with a wide grin on his face.

"He's okay... He's... more than okay. The pack knows... all of them... and their loyalty has not changed to him. Seth was terrified, but I was sure to keep everyone in line and he did well... he bravely told them the truth, honey. You should have seen him... I'm so damn proud of that kid." He sighed, before pulling me to him with a chuckle.

The next few months brought along some mighty big changes for Seth. He spent any free moment he had with Liam and Jacob had even invited him over to our house for dinner on a few occasions, wanting to know him better. Liam came willingly and with a smile on. He had the same hardy appetite as Jacob and Seth and I could sense Jacobs peeked curiosity when Liam meekly asked for a third helping of my meatloaf. I told him he was more than welcome to anything we had and he kindly thanked us. I was impressed with him already and enjoyed his conversation and company. He was a gentlemen... the kind that opened doors for you to walk through and offered you another napkin at the dinner table. He served Seth his plate and filled his glass of water twice before tending to his own needs. I saw the look of bewilderment on Jacobs face and smiled, knowing that Seth was well taken care of.

Liam never left the reservation after that. He never returned to his prior home in North Carolina. He chose to remain here with Seth and soon found property in Forks to purchase. Seth was still nervous about telling Liam the truth about what he was, but Jacob had offered him advice, telling him to just be honest and that Liam would respect him for it.

Jacob had even followed Seth to Liams new house and waited in the woods, not far off, so he could hear the conversation unfold between them. He was concerned for Seths emotional welfare should the conversation take a negative turn, but his concern was unfounded... Liam was understanding and shocked, yes, but he swore to Seth that it wouldn't change his care for him and this put his mind to rest upon the matter.

As the relationship developed between them, Seth spent more and more time at Liams new house in Forks and I found myself truly saddened when he came to us with his bags packed last night. His face was filled with a mix of emotions as he approached us at the dinner table, his gaze going to Sarah first, who was almost asleep in my arms. Jacob was just about to clear the table when he stopped and Saw Seth's packed bags now at his feet.

"Seth?"

"I love you both... you know that right?" Seth sighed, glancing my way with a heartfelt grin.

"... but you're leaving?" I timidly asked.

He nodded and knelt down in front of me, his face appearing more mature to me somehow... even though I knew that wasn't physically possible. He had matured and grown so much more into a man these past few months... that was never more clear to me than it was now.

"I'm gonna miss you guys... so much... but I need to be with him... I need to be where he is... I can still take care of my pack responsibilities and I promise I'll come over and visit... all the time." He sighed, gently caressing Sarah's cheek, before meeting my gaze.

"I'm happy for you, Seth." I replied, reaching for his outstretched hand.

"I wouldn't be where I am today without you guys... Bella... you're like...- another- sister to me." He choked, wrapping his arms around us both.

I cried into his shoulder, feeling Jacobs hands on us both as he joined us there. Seth slowly pulled away and stood before him, their gazes locking in a reverent stare as Seth tried to swallow down the tears.

"Thank you... for being... my friend... and my Alpha... my brother."

"C'mere bro." Jacob replied, tugging him into a firm embrace. "You're always welcome here... understand? I mean it man... night or day... you need anything and you come here... our door is always open to you. No matter what, Seth."

Jacob swallowed hard, and wrapped a secure arm around me when Seth soon picked up his bags and headed for the door. He paused once, lingering there in the door frame and glancing back with hesitation.

"Seth..." Jacob hedged. "It's okay... Go be with him... I know he'll treat you right... he better-"

I heard the edge in Jacobs tone on the last word and it caused a faint smile to form on Seths face.

"Or else?" Seth chuckled, opening the front door.

"Or else." Jake replied to him with a final wave.

The house felt empty now without him, but I knew Seth was where he needed to be and was honestly happy for him and Liam.

Paul and Leah had made a similar transition themselves not so many weeks ago. Paul had been by to tell me that he had made Leah her own key to his cabin and had asked her, more like begged her, to move in with him permanently. Leah only needed a day to determine her answer and she was fully moved in to his tiny cabin in a matter of another week. They had been over to help Seth clear out a few more of his things earlier this morning, and the smile etched on Leahs face was breathtaking. I grinned wide when she took Sarah from me, here eyes studying her tiny features in adoration.

"She's getting bigger already." Leah sighed.

"I know... Growing like a weed."

I saw the faint hint of sadness when she kissed her forehead and handed her back to me.

"Thank you for letting my brother stay here... it did him a world of good."

"It was our pleasure... We're really gonna miss him around here." I softly admitted to her.

"He already misses you..." She sighed. "He called me just a few hours ago, but he's happy, Bella."

"I know." I replied, touching her shoulder... "Looks like he's not the only one whose happy?"

She blushed and shrugged out of my grasp. "Paul's... Wonderful."

The way she spoke of him made me smile even wider. They were surely in love. You could see it written all over her face for him now. The way she watched him as he carried out a few heavier boxes for Seth and loaded them into his truck out front... the way she carried herself around him... Like he had mended her.

It was beautiful...

"You make him pretty damn happy, Leah... in every area." I chuckled, seeing Pauls gaze hungrily roam over her frame as he passed by us.

"... all except for one thing..."

I placed Sarah in her crib and glanced up at her in worry upon hearing her tone of sadness now.

"What?"

"... I can't give him... everything..." She heavily sighed, glancing down to Sarah while she slept.

"Oh Leah..." I replied, taking her hands in mine. "Paul would adopt a whole football team of kids if that's what your heart desired."

"I know he would... but I long to give him his own, Bella."

I hugged her, feeling her heartbreak over this. "Have faith, Leah... You never know..."

She sighed into my shoulder before quickly pulling away when Paul returned to collect the last box. He stopped when he saw her misty eyes, his hand coming to caress her cheek.

"You alright, Beautiful?" He asked, kissing her cheek.

She nodded and quickly dried her tears, her gaze wandering back to Sarah before she scooped up the last box of Seths herself and headed for the truck.

"I hate that I can't fix this for her, Bella." Paul sighed. "I'd give her ... anything-"

"She knows that... give it some time, Paul. She just wants to give you something she can't and that's heartbreaking for her."

Paul nodded and hugged me quickly as he headed out of the house. I watched them drive away with the last remaining boxes and felt my eyes sting with tears.

I would greatly miss Seth being in our home.

There was a definite sadness lingering around the corner from his absence. I found the house to be too silent for my liking.

I curled up on the couch, reaching for my book when a note from Jacob on the coffee table caught my eye. Twelve simple words scribbled on notebook paper in his handwriting made my eyes sting again... _"I love you... forever... and I'll always put you back together, honey."_

I clutched the note tightly in my hand, my gaze landing on the picture of his mother placed on our mantle, as I marveled at how much of herself she had left with him all those years ago. His devotion to me mirroring the kind of selfless love Sarah always gave Billy before she died.

It was true and humbling.

I heard the front door open as Jacob came home from the pack meeting he had called for at dawn this morning. I saw him peak in on Sarah before joining me in the living room. His timid smile telling me he was trying to approach me with caution, given my changing moods still. My eyes wandered his shirtless frame as he joined me on the couch, seeing the note in my hand.

"You left this for me?" I asked, reaching out and taking his hand in mine.

"Thought you should know..."

I nodded and placed the note back down, my free hand wandering over his sculpted chest and feeling the shudder from him in response.

He swiftly caught my hand as it wandered further down, barely skimming the top of his cut offs, his dark gaze looking anguished as he leaned in, his soft lips lingering a breath away from my own.

"I do miss you, Jacob..." I sighed, feeling frustrated with my own emotions.

Why couldn't I just get back to the old me.

"I miss you too, honey..."

His tone was strained, as if he were forcing himself not to move.

It had been damn weeks...

"I want things to go back to the way they were..." I admitted.

"They will... in time."

"... right now.." I breathed, slipping my lips against his once before opening his mouth with my tongue.

Jacob let out a needy groan and moved me, like I was weightless in his arms, pulling me into his lap and pressing me to him. His hands in my hair as he deepened the kiss further.

I was so damn tired of thinking...

So fed up with my overwhelming emotions ...

Jacobs hands caressed the bare skin under my shirt, as I tilted my head back, giving him access to my neck. His kisses were hot and his touches firm, as if he were physically anchoring me to him and for the first time in months, I remembered what being me truly felt like and I craved more of him like my very next breath.

I took my shirt off, as Jacob placed me under him on the couch, my hands roaming his back as his head ducked, his warm tongue barely touching my pert nipples. His mouth so deliciously hot on my skin that a moan escaped me. I was so consumed in our kiss, that I didn't realize he had hauled me up in his arms until my legs were wrapping themselves around him. His firm length pressing into me through his cut offs. He carried me to our room, placing me on the bed. I watched as he stripped down to nothing, his erection free from its constraints now. His hands quickly reached for my sweats then, pulling them all the way down until I was naked before him. I kissed him thoroughly before dropping to my knees and stroking his full length in my hand, his breath hitching when I tasted the salty serum that oozed from the tip.

He never took his eyes from me as I worshiped him with my mouth, my tongue gliding along his firm length until he abruptly reached for me, pulling me to my feet and trailing his warm fingertips down my stomach as he backed me up toward the bed. His eyes were as dark as I'd ever seen them and I felt myself get wetter from just the sight of him stalking toward me. His body tight and his hands strong when they caressed my skin.

"Lay down for me, honey..." He requested, his husky tone dripping with arousal when he spoke.

I did as he asked, trembling when he spread my legs wide for him, his mouth hovering just above my sex. My back arched when his tongue began to glide along my wet folds. His languid flicks and laps of his tongue, making me squirm. A familiar burn started in my belly and began to intensify with every swirl of his hot tongue, feeling as if electricity coursed through me when he flicked my swollen nub. My body tingled as my hips bucked in response.

"Jacob..."

He slid his tongue inside me, making me moan loudly for him, working me up until I begged him for more, and feeling him ease two fingers inside me with a throaty groan. He worked them in and out of me, making my skin flush with raw heated desire. I soon came on his skilled tongue, feeling the burn spread as I cried out his name.

I pulled him up my body, desperate to feel more of him... all of him... in me. Eager to feel him buried deep ... filling me in a way that only he could. Without warning, he flipped us, placing me on top of him. I stilled there, seeing his lust filled gaze melt into something else...

Love...

Pure love...

He slowly guided me down onto him, until he was sheathed to to hilt. I cried out, feeling how deep he was as I began to move my hips. His eyes never leaving my face as his hands steadied me there above him. I felt empowered and this was liberating for me. I was certain that every nerve in my body came to life when Jacob reached down and pressed his thumb to my sweet spot, the pressure and circular motion, making my hips jerk as I increased the pace above him.

"Oh god, Jacob."

His eyes were locked on mine as I placed my hands on his chest. Feeling how taut he was as he tightened his grip on me.

Breath left my body as I soon came again, the force of it, making me shudder. Jacob reached for me, as my legs began to cramp above. He flipped us, settling himself between them, as I cradled his hips with my thighs, feeling his thrusts go deeper and his body grow tight with his release. He held me flush against him with his final thrust, nuzzling his face into my shoulder.

I felt completely sated in his arms and I basked in it.

He was silent as my fingertips gently caressed his back, seeming content to just lay with me. The very feel of his breathing was enough to lull me to sleep now. I was warm... safe... loved...

He placed a kiss to my shoulder before meeting my gaze, his lips softly touching mine with his whispered request...

"I wanna marry you, Bella..."

I giggled, seeing his returning smile now as I held up my hand, displaying his mothers ring.

"I know..." I sighed... "I said yes... remember?"

He kissed my ring finger, before taking my hand and placing it over his heart.

"... next month, honey... I wanna marry you...Give you my last name... next month... I love you..."

His eyes were full of so much joy when she spoke this that I found myself grinning wide as I peered up at him. His face was practically lit up with his heart stopping smile.

"Are you... serious?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes... Bella Marie Black... I am..."

I felt my breath hitch as he said my name... with his last name as my own... There was nothing I could want more.


End file.
